Hand your dad the phone. And say I found something on here I was not supposed to see. Can you make sure mom does not know where you found it. Say look through the deleted messages too and her messaging app.
This
And I know this is harsh.. but not telling your dad makes you complicit with what your mother is doing.. and then your dad may blame you as well if you donât tell him as you actively hid the truth from him
The fallout for this isnât your fault, your mother chose to do this
if they are going to him maybe make it a day away from the mother or something so they can process and work out what's next she not only cheated on their dad but the whole family.
Your Dad needs to know. Go to him and let him know that youâve got to tell him something that will change both of your lives for ever. Show him the phone messages and let him decide what to do.
I would never want my daughter to bear the crushing burden of this information. Let your Dad know that you will love and support him in whatever decision he will make. It sucks that youâre 14 and have to face adult responsibilities.
Best of luck and youâre doing the right thing.
âdad, I have something to tell you. You arenât going to be happy, but I think you need to know. Mom has been cheating on you and I have proof.â
Your mom will be mad, but itâs not your fault. Her actions have consequences. If she says anything to you just say âcongrats, mom! You managed to totally ruin your family and lose a husband and your children.â
That will shut her up
From a Dad's point of view.
Your Dad sounds like a good, dedicated man and deserves to know that your mom doesn't respect him, doesn't love him and is just using him to have someone to pay her bills while she's running around behind his back.
It is terrible and everyone is going to be hurt. Just remember that YOU ARE NOT THE CAUSE OF THE ISSUES. Your Mom chose her actions.
Sorry you have to go through this. It's a terrible spot to be in and you don't deserve it.
Let's put it this way if your dad finds out, and then discovers you knew and didn't say anything. Do you really think it wouldn't hurt your relationship with your dad. Sure it will hurt your relationship with your mom but she's already checked out of her relationship with the family. Take a copy of the evidence to him tell him how you got it. Tell him he needs to see all of it because you saw it and wish you hadn't.
Thatâs a REALLY rough thing to tell a teenager. Iâm in my twenties, and even I wouldnât know how to unpack the emotional trauma of discovering one of my parents had an affair. Donât guilt a teen into doing what YOU think is right, âya sicko.
Well the truth sometimes hurts. Sounds like they have a good relationship with their dad, but not so much with mom. So why hide it from him. Tell him and things will be good between the kid and father. The relationship with the mom is already bad so there's nothing to lose there.
My point still remains that you just told a teenager that they might ruin her relationship with their dad if they donât do what YOU believe is the right thing to do. Thatâs an extremely weird thing to say to a kid that isnât yours. Just imagine for a second if a stranger online said that to your kid; would you have the best reaction to that? You may just be anonymously posting online, but thatâs still (probably) really a kid on the other end of the post and for some reason you think itâs okay to guilt trip a teenager. How exactly do you have the high ground here?
Not guilt tripping just pointing out a fact of life. I have seen a father pretty much disown his kid because he found out they knew their mother had a side piece and kept it secret.
Oh my god. This really isnât something a teenager should have to navigate. Iâm really sorry youâre going through this.
This is going to be an incredibly self defeating statement, but I donât think you should take any advice on what you should do here from Reddit. These are a bunch of people who donât know you, donât know your parents, and have their own strictly held set of morals. None of them are definitively the right or wrong thing for you to do.
I really think you should take this to some different adults in your life who you can trust; maybe another adult family member like an aunt or uncle, or a school counsellor. Start there. Good luck.
thanks for the adivce! and unfortnatly i dont really know any trusted adults to talk to since all my relatives live in differnt countries and i dont have contact with them, and as of school counsellors i would have to ask my parents to set that up and that wouldn't really work. im going to try to make up my mind on what to do but i am already getting stressed from keeping this seceret to myself .
You should definitely tell your dad. The marriage ought to fall sometime sooner or later. It is better that he gets to know it sooner. As a child of a loving father, you should do justice and let him know. That's what families do. They look after eachother.
That makes sense, but thatâs rough and I hope you can figure something out to feel right about what you know. At the end of the day, whatever it is you decide to do should be the thing that you think is right. Again, I wouldnât really recommend taking advice from adults you donât know because theyâre going to give advice as if theyâre giving it to an adult. Itâs not great perspective.
It occurred to me that the next best place to reach out to would be a teen/youth help line. If you go to Google and just type in âteen help line in my cityâ, there are probably phone numbers you can call to get anonymous help from adults who are specifically trained to help guide youth through difficult circumstances when they canât talk to anyone else. Please give that a shot, if you can!
That's a huge secret to keep kid . U should tell your dad and let him handle it .
Whatever happens it's not your fault it's your mom's she made the choice to cheat and lie so don't blame yourself all u can do now is get it off your chest and let your dad do what he thinks is right
Wtf a prescription for HIV, yeah tell your dad. If she's cheating and is infected, he's in danger. This might even be grounds for a criminal case. Knowingly being infected with HIV/AIDS and having intercourse with people, especially with out protection, is criminal. Even she's not infected she's still endangering your dad by being with multiple men.
Every hour you didn't tell your dad is an hour you are helping your mom cheat. Show him the evidence.Â
Sorry kid. Life is rough sometimes and we all need to grow up someday. Some have to grow up faster. Man up. Good luck.
It will be difficult but for the safety of your dad I would tell him and show him the text. The prescription for the HIV medication would make me tell him in a heart beat. You donât keep this from someone you love. Updateme!
You gotta tell your dad. If he's righteous he won't tell your mom how he knows. Ask him to please don't tell mom that you spilled the beans. If you don't he might hold it against you for not telling and to him and to him, it might seem like you're covering for your mom.
There's a few stories on reddit of dad's not forgiving their child for keeping the secrets. Do you have anyone you can confide to and will give you supportz?
UpdateMe!
Tell him. It's not gonna be nice, it's not gonna be fun but you gotta do it.
If you don't stand up for your own parent after the other one cheated (be it dad on mom or mom on dad) you aren't a good person, it's that simple.
Sorry it had to happen to you little bro, stay strong đȘ.
You have to ask yourself what would you want done in that situation!?! If you love your dad and feel a stronger bond with him then your mom, then let him know. He will be devastated to find out later that you knew and hid the information. If you respect your mother you can confront her and make her aware that you know and that she must tell dad. Let her know that you will not be an accomplice to her scandal and she has only so long to tell him before you do. However, this is not something that you can just allow to sit for a long time, the guilt will eat away at you.
Tell your dad. But before this, I want you to know, that nothing that happened and will happen is not your fault. Youre not betraying ypur mother, she did it to your family. You didn't ruin your family, if they divorce its not because of you.
You just saves your father from wasting his time and being stabbed in the back. Just tell him, but never believe what your mother says, that it was you who ruined it.
Confront your mom, have her fess up, or tell her you will. Tell her she had better be 100% or you will fill in the details. All of it. Do not let her gaslight you. Your dad MUST know the truth. Be prepared for this to make them divorce and do not let her blame you. Know that there is nothing you did that was wrong. Be prepared for her to blame YOU for her despicable behavior and blowing the family up. SHE made myriad DECISIONS and must live with it. These were not mistakes. These were her choices. Good luck, OP. So sorry for you. Please update us.
Pls don't confront your mom with this. Show your dad the phone and let him handle it. I'm worried that if you go to your mom's first, and then you tell your dad, she will blame you for everything. This is not your fault at all!
Next Time on âHow I learned about my Parentâs Fetishâ, young William gets a detailed explanation about stuff normally only found on the darker parts of the internet.
Youâre in a difficult position. I think your best course of action is just ask your parents to both sit down with you because you have a concern.
Then tell them the story together. âWe charged my old phone and it was still synced to the parental account and there was some stuff I wish I hadnât seen.â Then just put the phone between them on the table and say youâre going to take your sibling out to a playground for an hour or two.
Tell him so he can be tested for STD'S and not made the town fool. I would bet someone else even knows about her affair, a close friend or family member.
Just tell your dad, brother if you love him and show him all the proof
And just tell everyone that your mother is physically torturing you and your brother .
If she's a good mother just tell her , is she on hunt to find our new dad đ, just tell her to confess to your dad
Just tell your dad, brother if you love him and show him all the proof
And just tell everyone that your mother is physically torturing you and your brother .
If she's a good mother just tell her , is she on hunt to find our new dad đ, just tell her to confess to your dad
You poor thing! I would sit ur mom down and tell her what u know. Tell her ur giving her the opportunity to come clean or u r gonna do it. All the best!
Tell your Mom what you found and tell her to confess everything to your Dad by X date or you will do it for her. This is shitty and kids shouldnât get caught up in the mix, but now that you are, I think this is the best course of action for you.
Choice between two evils.
Evil No 1: Let the grown-ups handle it. Stay out of it, If she gets caught she gets caught. End of.
Evil No 2;: You decide to confront your mother - bad idea. You decide to tell your dad - bad idea. Send your dad a anonymous note - maybe not so bad. Tell another adult in the family you trust - maybe not so bad. Never tell outsiders or even family members who have a grudge - there are many who will try to use this to their advantage.
If you want to get involved (Evil No 2) remember this is going to guilt trip you for the rest of your life, regardless. And see a shrink when it is over. You are taking sides. Saying 'your dad deserves to know" is true - but you should not be that person.
There is no easy way out on this. Make your choice and good luck.
Tell your dad. He deserves to know the truth.
Hand your dad the phone. And say I found something on here I was not supposed to see. Can you make sure mom does not know where you found it. Say look through the deleted messages too and her messaging app.
Perfect đ defo do this.
This And I know this is harsh.. but not telling your dad makes you complicit with what your mother is doing.. and then your dad may blame you as well if you donât tell him as you actively hid the truth from him The fallout for this isnât your fault, your mother chose to do this
My son discovered my husband cheating and covered for him. I don't think I will ever be able to forgive the betrayal.
Do you also tell dads gf?
if they are going to him maybe make it a day away from the mother or something so they can process and work out what's next she not only cheated on their dad but the whole family.
Sounds like you need to have a conversation with your dad. Itâs probably only going to get worse as time goes on.
Your Dad needs to know. Go to him and let him know that youâve got to tell him something that will change both of your lives for ever. Show him the phone messages and let him decide what to do. I would never want my daughter to bear the crushing burden of this information. Let your Dad know that you will love and support him in whatever decision he will make. It sucks that youâre 14 and have to face adult responsibilities. Best of luck and youâre doing the right thing.
Show dad everything let him handle it Updateme
Tell your dad. And also backup the files in 2 pen drives and stored them in 2 locations.
âdad, I have something to tell you. You arenât going to be happy, but I think you need to know. Mom has been cheating on you and I have proof.â Your mom will be mad, but itâs not your fault. Her actions have consequences. If she says anything to you just say âcongrats, mom! You managed to totally ruin your family and lose a husband and your children.â That will shut her up
Your father deserves the truth âŠshe has zero respect for you guys
Tell him now and show him the proof.
I agree with others, you need to tell. Updateme
Just show him the messages and let him handle it. He definitely deserves to know.
Don't tell him, juat take the phone to him and be like this was on my old phone what is it. You'll be good doing that way.
From a Dad's point of view. Your Dad sounds like a good, dedicated man and deserves to know that your mom doesn't respect him, doesn't love him and is just using him to have someone to pay her bills while she's running around behind his back. It is terrible and everyone is going to be hurt. Just remember that YOU ARE NOT THE CAUSE OF THE ISSUES. Your Mom chose her actions. Sorry you have to go through this. It's a terrible spot to be in and you don't deserve it.
Let's put it this way if your dad finds out, and then discovers you knew and didn't say anything. Do you really think it wouldn't hurt your relationship with your dad. Sure it will hurt your relationship with your mom but she's already checked out of her relationship with the family. Take a copy of the evidence to him tell him how you got it. Tell him he needs to see all of it because you saw it and wish you hadn't.
Thatâs a REALLY rough thing to tell a teenager. Iâm in my twenties, and even I wouldnât know how to unpack the emotional trauma of discovering one of my parents had an affair. Donât guilt a teen into doing what YOU think is right, âya sicko.
Well the truth sometimes hurts. Sounds like they have a good relationship with their dad, but not so much with mom. So why hide it from him. Tell him and things will be good between the kid and father. The relationship with the mom is already bad so there's nothing to lose there.
My point still remains that you just told a teenager that they might ruin her relationship with their dad if they donât do what YOU believe is the right thing to do. Thatâs an extremely weird thing to say to a kid that isnât yours. Just imagine for a second if a stranger online said that to your kid; would you have the best reaction to that? You may just be anonymously posting online, but thatâs still (probably) really a kid on the other end of the post and for some reason you think itâs okay to guilt trip a teenager. How exactly do you have the high ground here?
Not guilt tripping just pointing out a fact of life. I have seen a father pretty much disown his kid because he found out they knew their mother had a side piece and kept it secret.
Oh my god. This really isnât something a teenager should have to navigate. Iâm really sorry youâre going through this. This is going to be an incredibly self defeating statement, but I donât think you should take any advice on what you should do here from Reddit. These are a bunch of people who donât know you, donât know your parents, and have their own strictly held set of morals. None of them are definitively the right or wrong thing for you to do. I really think you should take this to some different adults in your life who you can trust; maybe another adult family member like an aunt or uncle, or a school counsellor. Start there. Good luck.
thanks for the adivce! and unfortnatly i dont really know any trusted adults to talk to since all my relatives live in differnt countries and i dont have contact with them, and as of school counsellors i would have to ask my parents to set that up and that wouldn't really work. im going to try to make up my mind on what to do but i am already getting stressed from keeping this seceret to myself .
You should definitely tell your dad. The marriage ought to fall sometime sooner or later. It is better that he gets to know it sooner. As a child of a loving father, you should do justice and let him know. That's what families do. They look after eachother.
That makes sense, but thatâs rough and I hope you can figure something out to feel right about what you know. At the end of the day, whatever it is you decide to do should be the thing that you think is right. Again, I wouldnât really recommend taking advice from adults you donât know because theyâre going to give advice as if theyâre giving it to an adult. Itâs not great perspective.
It occurred to me that the next best place to reach out to would be a teen/youth help line. If you go to Google and just type in âteen help line in my cityâ, there are probably phone numbers you can call to get anonymous help from adults who are specifically trained to help guide youth through difficult circumstances when they canât talk to anyone else. Please give that a shot, if you can!
Bruh! I think he has his loving and supporting dad to guide him and help him during difficult times.
Update?
Just ask yourself if someone knew this about your partner would you want to know?
Update me too
If HIV is involved, you need to tell him ASAP. You will never forgive yourself if he gets it.
That's a huge secret to keep kid . U should tell your dad and let him handle it . Whatever happens it's not your fault it's your mom's she made the choice to cheat and lie so don't blame yourself all u can do now is get it off your chest and let your dad do what he thinks is right
Gather as much evidence for your dad so he can divorce her and not give her a fucking dollar.
Wtf a prescription for HIV, yeah tell your dad. If she's cheating and is infected, he's in danger. This might even be grounds for a criminal case. Knowingly being infected with HIV/AIDS and having intercourse with people, especially with out protection, is criminal. Even she's not infected she's still endangering your dad by being with multiple men.
I am agreed on the legal side.
Updateme!
Updateme
Sit down with your father and have a grown up conversation. I wish you the best of luck. UPDATE ME !!
He needs to know asap.
Your dad deserves to know. Please share what you have found with him. UpdateMe
Every hour you didn't tell your dad is an hour you are helping your mom cheat. Show him the evidence. Sorry kid. Life is rough sometimes and we all need to grow up someday. Some have to grow up faster. Man up. Good luck.
Hand the phone to your dad. Sorry hun.
Tell your Dad. Donât betray him just like what your mom did.
Updateme
It will be difficult but for the safety of your dad I would tell him and show him the text. The prescription for the HIV medication would make me tell him in a heart beat. You donât keep this from someone you love. Updateme!
You gotta tell your dad. If he's righteous he won't tell your mom how he knows. Ask him to please don't tell mom that you spilled the beans. If you don't he might hold it against you for not telling and to him and to him, it might seem like you're covering for your mom. There's a few stories on reddit of dad's not forgiving their child for keeping the secrets. Do you have anyone you can confide to and will give you supportz? UpdateMe!
Tell him. It's not gonna be nice, it's not gonna be fun but you gotta do it. If you don't stand up for your own parent after the other one cheated (be it dad on mom or mom on dad) you aren't a good person, it's that simple. Sorry it had to happen to you little bro, stay strong đȘ.
You have to ask yourself what would you want done in that situation!?! If you love your dad and feel a stronger bond with him then your mom, then let him know. He will be devastated to find out later that you knew and hid the information. If you respect your mother you can confront her and make her aware that you know and that she must tell dad. Let her know that you will not be an accomplice to her scandal and she has only so long to tell him before you do. However, this is not something that you can just allow to sit for a long time, the guilt will eat away at you.
Tell your dad. But before this, I want you to know, that nothing that happened and will happen is not your fault. Youre not betraying ypur mother, she did it to your family. You didn't ruin your family, if they divorce its not because of you. You just saves your father from wasting his time and being stabbed in the back. Just tell him, but never believe what your mother says, that it was you who ruined it.
Confront your mom, have her fess up, or tell her you will. Tell her she had better be 100% or you will fill in the details. All of it. Do not let her gaslight you. Your dad MUST know the truth. Be prepared for this to make them divorce and do not let her blame you. Know that there is nothing you did that was wrong. Be prepared for her to blame YOU for her despicable behavior and blowing the family up. SHE made myriad DECISIONS and must live with it. These were not mistakes. These were her choices. Good luck, OP. So sorry for you. Please update us.
Ask a relative if they can help tell your dad. Your dad deserves to know the truth. Iâm so sorry youâre dealing with this, youâre only 14 :(
Pls don't confront your mom with this. Show your dad the phone and let him handle it. I'm worried that if you go to your mom's first, and then you tell your dad, she will blame you for everything. This is not your fault at all!
Next Time on âHow I learned about my Parentâs Fetishâ, young William gets a detailed explanation about stuff normally only found on the darker parts of the internet. Youâre in a difficult position. I think your best course of action is just ask your parents to both sit down with you because you have a concern. Then tell them the story together. âWe charged my old phone and it was still synced to the parental account and there was some stuff I wish I hadnât seen.â Then just put the phone between them on the table and say youâre going to take your sibling out to a playground for an hour or two.
Your father deserves and needs the truth
Tell him so he can be tested for STD'S and not made the town fool. I would bet someone else even knows about her affair, a close friend or family member.
Every dirty guy it seems đ
Just tell your dad, brother if you love him and show him all the proof And just tell everyone that your mother is physically torturing you and your brother . If she's a good mother just tell her , is she on hunt to find our new dad đ, just tell her to confess to your dad
Just tell your dad, brother if you love him and show him all the proof And just tell everyone that your mother is physically torturing you and your brother . If she's a good mother just tell her , is she on hunt to find our new dad đ, just tell her to confess to your dad
You poor thing! I would sit ur mom down and tell her what u know. Tell her ur giving her the opportunity to come clean or u r gonna do it. All the best!
Tell your Mom what you found and tell her to confess everything to your Dad by X date or you will do it for her. This is shitty and kids shouldnât get caught up in the mix, but now that you are, I think this is the best course of action for you.
Choice between two evils. Evil No 1: Let the grown-ups handle it. Stay out of it, If she gets caught she gets caught. End of. Evil No 2;: You decide to confront your mother - bad idea. You decide to tell your dad - bad idea. Send your dad a anonymous note - maybe not so bad. Tell another adult in the family you trust - maybe not so bad. Never tell outsiders or even family members who have a grudge - there are many who will try to use this to their advantage. If you want to get involved (Evil No 2) remember this is going to guilt trip you for the rest of your life, regardless. And see a shrink when it is over. You are taking sides. Saying 'your dad deserves to know" is true - but you should not be that person. There is no easy way out on this. Make your choice and good luck.
This is horrible advice lmao
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
This is a bs reply to say. Infidelity effects everyone and you want them to keep the infidelity secret? That's such a fucked up thing to say.
I Wonder what happened?