Unfortunately this is often the case. When I caught my wife she confessed to have been cheating for many years and going as far as meeting guys online and having them fly in and stay with her when I was on business trips. She would drop our daughter off with her mother and the guy stayed with her, in our bed for the week. I always wondered why the sheets were changed when I got home.
Why in the hell would you "reconnect" with her? She's just stringing you along while you do a great impression of a doormat.
At most, you are her 'Plan B' in case things don't work out with her new man.
So, man up and delete her from your life. I know you can make a better representative of our gender than what you're presently doing.
I just added the rest of the story to the post. And yeah you are not wrong. I lost so much confidence and respect for myself these last few years it’s hard to believe I’m still here. But I am out of it now and re-building myself day by day
Roger that.
She's been taking you for granted and is sure that her "doormat" will always be around to pick up the pieces.
I am sure that when she gets tired of shagging bad boys and is finally ready for a 'nice guy, she has your business card.
So, do you want to be the simp to catch her when she falls? Or, be the MAN who knows and can show her that she lost the best guy she could have ever had?
If Option 2 is more appealing, the best thing to do is have ZERO contact with her. Don't pick up the phone, don't answer her emails or texts.
That will send the message that you don't need her and have moved on. I guarantee that she will get the message that she f'd up a great thing.
How do I know? Because I went through that - her cheating, lying, and her having the gall to tell me about it in great detail.
I was the simp, I was the doormat. Even our mutual friends were telling me to dump her, but I loved her and still wanted her to come back to the marriage.
It was only when she got her dumb ass pregnant during our trial separation that she wanted me to take her back
It finally dawned on me that I was only her Plan B. When the speem donor dumped her, she was looking for the 'nice guy' who could support her and her kid.
Unfortunately for her, I started the divorce the next day.
After the baby was born, she still had the audacity to show up at my door. However, when she saw my new girlfriend at home with me, she knew it was over and never tried again.
Sorry for the long story, I just wanted you to know that my advice comes from experience.
Now go do the right thing for yourself.
Now you know, it's in your bones. Don't ever forget. The first time they pull away on somethings that are noticeable. Step back and assess the relationship. you got waked over in this one and even went back to it. Don't do this again.
Thanks for your reply. I added the rest of the story and honestly it got so much worse before it got better. But yeah I lost myself so much during this relationship. Learned a lot, and at least I’ll have this as a huge lesson moving forward
Are you able to see a counselor? It would greatly benefit you
I was only a few lines into your post, and there were red flags everywhere
A therapist can help
Try this little relationship trick. When someone disrespects you and gives you nothing but shit say these words. "Gather up your shit, get the fuck out and dont ever come back",
She used you…what a bitch ..but you’re a bigger fool for being a doormat …I would of walked along time ago now you know how f*cked up some women can be.
She's a cheater, that much we know.
Please don't go back to her or reconnect anymore.
You said it yourself, she doesn't like being alone, you were together for 2 years so she knows how to drag you back into her life.
Do not let that happen.
Move on, you don't deserve to be in a relationship with someone that devalues your worth.
OP,
i hope learned your lesson!
If a relationship becomes "one sided" you call out your partener that it has to change. You do not discuss it you just tell the person, that you do not want be with a person, that has nothing to give back. You do not care about "excuses". You stop being attentive. Stop being their emotional companion. There might be time the work or uiversity is stress full. But that does not mean, there can't e closeness. And should not meet others while they have to focus on their job or so. ad such a phase is just a short phase.
What you definitly never should do to try to "win" them back. This is like to give akid a present after it missbehaved.
This women treated you like a servant. And for this you are accountable. You allowed it.
How can you expect being treated with respect, when you show no self respect? How?
If you look back, i am very sure you will find out that she never really invested much in the relation ship. You were giving and she took it and allowed you to have intimacy with her. But she did nothig for you just to make ou feel wanted and happy. She did not needed to... Am i right?
Dude honestly it hurts me to tell you this, but grow some fucking balls, stop being so nice! Someone didn’t just pull the saying “NICE GUYS FINISH LAST” out of their ass, it’s for a reason! 🤬 those dogs are no concern of yours now! lose all contact with that girl cause she’ll never respect you again, and cause of that she’ll never have sex with you again she sees you as a weak simp. Use that energy to make a comeback and become a person who don’t take shit. Find a new girl or play the field for a while. The Most important thing. Don’t fucking ever let a woman treat you like that again! When a woman don’t respect you, she’s giving that respect to another man. And they don’t give two fucks about crushing your heart and shitting on your feelings.
Tell her why couldnt tou break up with me from the get go from the moment you statted cheating on ne with another guy instead you yreqted me like shit your new realationship is goingbto fail becuase you clearly have some mebtal health issue dont come back to me when it dosnt work out also say this guy is turning you into a monster making you change to the point that you dont give a fuck aboutbyour dogs
feel bad for you on this, shoulda never helped her with her dogs and being "that friend" for that 7 month stretch after the fact was a big waste, esp if she wasn't giving up the draws.
i never trust what any woman has to say, but certainly not about sexual relations. if you not fulfilling the needs you can bet your life some other guy is!
wish you peace and healing my guy 🙏🏽☮️
Just tell her she cheated if you ever see her again. Let her know that you’ve since found out more
Information and all your mutuals know now too + her family.
Duuude! Man up! I mean this in the most supportive way. I was the classic nice guy in my 20s and got walked on just like you. Put her in your rear view and take some time to work on you. You need to work on becoming more alpha, based on your post. Read books, watch you tube for content that speaks to you and become a better version of yourself! Women want and yearn for leaders. (here comes the male bashing from my independent women. It’s ok, I can take it) Deny it all you want, but how many claim they want that nice guy, or is it the bad boy they shouldn’t have? Just be a man. Take charge. Be passionate about something other than her. And for the love of gawd, don’t call yourself alpha if you get there! You don’t need the tshirt. Just be it.
Sorry that happened to you. I’ve been through similar things and it’s rough. Remember all of the lessons you learned from this girl so you can avoid repeating them next relationship. Glad you’re free and best of luck to you.
Cheaters always butter the bread on both sides so they have all the advantages.
That’s just the one you found out about. She’s been cheating for a while.
Unfortunately this is often the case. When I caught my wife she confessed to have been cheating for many years and going as far as meeting guys online and having them fly in and stay with her when I was on business trips. She would drop our daughter off with her mother and the guy stayed with her, in our bed for the week. I always wondered why the sheets were changed when I got home.
Why in the hell would you "reconnect" with her? She's just stringing you along while you do a great impression of a doormat. At most, you are her 'Plan B' in case things don't work out with her new man. So, man up and delete her from your life. I know you can make a better representative of our gender than what you're presently doing.
I just added the rest of the story to the post. And yeah you are not wrong. I lost so much confidence and respect for myself these last few years it’s hard to believe I’m still here. But I am out of it now and re-building myself day by day
wasn't even a Plan B, a Plan B would still be hitting at least. he couldn't even touch her smh, that's like Plan D sadly
Roger that. She's been taking you for granted and is sure that her "doormat" will always be around to pick up the pieces. I am sure that when she gets tired of shagging bad boys and is finally ready for a 'nice guy, she has your business card. So, do you want to be the simp to catch her when she falls? Or, be the MAN who knows and can show her that she lost the best guy she could have ever had? If Option 2 is more appealing, the best thing to do is have ZERO contact with her. Don't pick up the phone, don't answer her emails or texts. That will send the message that you don't need her and have moved on. I guarantee that she will get the message that she f'd up a great thing. How do I know? Because I went through that - her cheating, lying, and her having the gall to tell me about it in great detail. I was the simp, I was the doormat. Even our mutual friends were telling me to dump her, but I loved her and still wanted her to come back to the marriage. It was only when she got her dumb ass pregnant during our trial separation that she wanted me to take her back It finally dawned on me that I was only her Plan B. When the speem donor dumped her, she was looking for the 'nice guy' who could support her and her kid. Unfortunately for her, I started the divorce the next day. After the baby was born, she still had the audacity to show up at my door. However, when she saw my new girlfriend at home with me, she knew it was over and never tried again. Sorry for the long story, I just wanted you to know that my advice comes from experience. Now go do the right thing for yourself.
Your first hint was sleeping in the spare bed. Best thing you can do now is sort yourself out and focus on your future.
Ummm, I’m thinking no sex for months was a pretty strong indicator…
Now you know, it's in your bones. Don't ever forget. The first time they pull away on somethings that are noticeable. Step back and assess the relationship. you got waked over in this one and even went back to it. Don't do this again.
Thanks for your reply. I added the rest of the story and honestly it got so much worse before it got better. But yeah I lost myself so much during this relationship. Learned a lot, and at least I’ll have this as a huge lesson moving forward
Are you able to see a counselor? It would greatly benefit you I was only a few lines into your post, and there were red flags everywhere A therapist can help
Try this little relationship trick. When someone disrespects you and gives you nothing but shit say these words. "Gather up your shit, get the fuck out and dont ever come back",
I would have sworn we dated the same person except the ages don’t match. 😂
Call the animal shelter and tell them what happend teach her a lesson if you have proof showbthem
She used you…what a bitch ..but you’re a bigger fool for being a doormat …I would of walked along time ago now you know how f*cked up some women can be.
I agree lol , this guy is what i consider super blue pilled
She's a cheater, that much we know. Please don't go back to her or reconnect anymore. You said it yourself, she doesn't like being alone, you were together for 2 years so she knows how to drag you back into her life. Do not let that happen. Move on, you don't deserve to be in a relationship with someone that devalues your worth.
OP, i hope learned your lesson! If a relationship becomes "one sided" you call out your partener that it has to change. You do not discuss it you just tell the person, that you do not want be with a person, that has nothing to give back. You do not care about "excuses". You stop being attentive. Stop being their emotional companion. There might be time the work or uiversity is stress full. But that does not mean, there can't e closeness. And should not meet others while they have to focus on their job or so. ad such a phase is just a short phase. What you definitly never should do to try to "win" them back. This is like to give akid a present after it missbehaved. This women treated you like a servant. And for this you are accountable. You allowed it. How can you expect being treated with respect, when you show no self respect? How? If you look back, i am very sure you will find out that she never really invested much in the relation ship. You were giving and she took it and allowed you to have intimacy with her. But she did nothig for you just to make ou feel wanted and happy. She did not needed to... Am i right?
Dude honestly it hurts me to tell you this, but grow some fucking balls, stop being so nice! Someone didn’t just pull the saying “NICE GUYS FINISH LAST” out of their ass, it’s for a reason! 🤬 those dogs are no concern of yours now! lose all contact with that girl cause she’ll never respect you again, and cause of that she’ll never have sex with you again she sees you as a weak simp. Use that energy to make a comeback and become a person who don’t take shit. Find a new girl or play the field for a while. The Most important thing. Don’t fucking ever let a woman treat you like that again! When a woman don’t respect you, she’s giving that respect to another man. And they don’t give two fucks about crushing your heart and shitting on your feelings.
Tell her why couldnt tou break up with me from the get go from the moment you statted cheating on ne with another guy instead you yreqted me like shit your new realationship is goingbto fail becuase you clearly have some mebtal health issue dont come back to me when it dosnt work out also say this guy is turning you into a monster making you change to the point that you dont give a fuck aboutbyour dogs
Also give the barn place a bad name say people go thier to cheat on thier partners abd are manipulated into leaving thier partners
Updateme.
I just added the rest of the story to the post
feel bad for you on this, shoulda never helped her with her dogs and being "that friend" for that 7 month stretch after the fact was a big waste, esp if she wasn't giving up the draws. i never trust what any woman has to say, but certainly not about sexual relations. if you not fulfilling the needs you can bet your life some other guy is! wish you peace and healing my guy 🙏🏽☮️
Just tell her she cheated if you ever see her again. Let her know that you’ve since found out more Information and all your mutuals know now too + her family.
Duuude! Man up! I mean this in the most supportive way. I was the classic nice guy in my 20s and got walked on just like you. Put her in your rear view and take some time to work on you. You need to work on becoming more alpha, based on your post. Read books, watch you tube for content that speaks to you and become a better version of yourself! Women want and yearn for leaders. (here comes the male bashing from my independent women. It’s ok, I can take it) Deny it all you want, but how many claim they want that nice guy, or is it the bad boy they shouldn’t have? Just be a man. Take charge. Be passionate about something other than her. And for the love of gawd, don’t call yourself alpha if you get there! You don’t need the tshirt. Just be it.
Sorry that happened to you. I’ve been through similar things and it’s rough. Remember all of the lessons you learned from this girl so you can avoid repeating them next relationship. Glad you’re free and best of luck to you.