Congratulations!! 🎉
I recommend you not tell your mom and step mom, both before the surgery and after, but especially before. We’ve seen stories in this subreddit of relatives who have attempted to sabotage people’s surgeries, such as calling in to the hospital and impersonating them in an attempt to cancel it, so keeping it hush-hush before you go in is crucial.
Likewise, after the surgery, it’s completely your decision as to whether or not you tell them. IMO, however, it’s important to keep two things in mind, that a) you do not owe them this information or any kind of explanation as to why you did it, and b) they seem like the type of folks who might throw a fit over it, so it’d be good to consider how telling them might affect your relationship.
If you do want to tell them eventually, though, I think it’s best that you do it in an environment where you feel like you’ll have the most control you can over the conversation. I recommend you double check to make sure your medical documents/bills/papers/anything they might send also goes to your home and your home only (if you live with them, try to see if you could get all your documents sent to you digitally). There was someone in this sub a bit ago whose mom found out they got sterilized from some medical receipt in the mail and it didn’t go over too well. If you don’t want to tell them, I advise coming up with an excuse as to why you’ve had surgery recently in case they find out you’re on bed rest.
I hope your procedure goes smoothly and that you have a speedy recovery!!
> I am not sure if I will tell them I am doing this, but this is my choice
Don't!!!!! There are so many stories in this sub and out there of people who've had their appointments cancelled by family pretending to be OP, family offering to drive them and then not show up or simply drive the other way, scream at them for hours in the hospital with everyone watching and all other kind of batshit insane stories. Everyone thinks it won't happen to them, but particularly wannabe-grandparents can go completely insane when they realize "their chance for a grandchild" is definitively taken away from them.
Do yourself a favor and if you tell them, do it after the procedure.
Also, congratulations :D
please Please PLEASE!!! don't tell ANYbody but your partner until it's well done and past.
(5 years of looking at them in amusement / disappointment once the bisalp is history sounds about right ;-) )
Whatever you do don’t tell anyone that you have been sterilized. I had a vasectomy at nineteen and never told anyone because everyone is so judgmental.
I hope everything goes smoothly and you have an easy recovery.
If I were you, I wouldn't tell your mom or stepmom. My parents were staunch Catholics and would have been furious if they'd learned I had Essure. I just let them wonder why grandchildren hadn't materialized. (I'm a late-in-life baby so it's plausible that my husband and I were having difficulty TTC.)
What level of petty would this be?
Have your tubes removed then have each one set in resin. Then have them made into pendants and give one to mom and one to stepmom. When you hand them over tell them "Well, you're not getting grandkids but you can each have one of the fallopian tubes I had removed. Feel free to name yours whatever you like."
Will they like that? No but they deserve it for not being more supportive of your choices. It's your life and they do not get a say in the matter.
I'm in VT, too. I'm still trying to find someone who will do mine. I'm very happy for you and a little jelly. Congrats! I hope everything goes smoothly.
Don't tell them you don't want that stress. It's not their decision, not their bodies. You don't owe them an explanation or a heads up.
Good point! And thank you! UVM Medical Center in Burlington will do one, they were all for my decision and all they really did was make sure I knew the risks and stuff, and as a policy they needed to go over the possible regret of it not being reversible. But other than that they were super supportive! My Gyno over there said they have done a TON of these surgeries and people are super happy with the outcome! I am waiting to get a call from the scheduler since its a few months waiting for an appointment, but at least I know its going to happen for sure! 🥰
I am SO HAPPY FOR YOU! Getting the surgery was the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. I’ve tried to get my boyfriend to go with a vasectomy but ended up going under the knife myself because that only protects me from getting pregnant by him and not anyone else. No whoopsie babies here!
It’s a shame peeps have to jump through hoops to avoid family being judgemental or being downright twatish.
Congrats on your freedom! Enjoy it! I’m a jaffa so can’t have sprogs anyway and it is very freeing.
i got a hysterectomy jan 2020 and immediate family to this day still doesn’t know.
hell, most people in my life don’t even know. i think only 3 people in my life know
Congratulations!! 🎉 I recommend you not tell your mom and step mom, both before the surgery and after, but especially before. We’ve seen stories in this subreddit of relatives who have attempted to sabotage people’s surgeries, such as calling in to the hospital and impersonating them in an attempt to cancel it, so keeping it hush-hush before you go in is crucial. Likewise, after the surgery, it’s completely your decision as to whether or not you tell them. IMO, however, it’s important to keep two things in mind, that a) you do not owe them this information or any kind of explanation as to why you did it, and b) they seem like the type of folks who might throw a fit over it, so it’d be good to consider how telling them might affect your relationship. If you do want to tell them eventually, though, I think it’s best that you do it in an environment where you feel like you’ll have the most control you can over the conversation. I recommend you double check to make sure your medical documents/bills/papers/anything they might send also goes to your home and your home only (if you live with them, try to see if you could get all your documents sent to you digitally). There was someone in this sub a bit ago whose mom found out they got sterilized from some medical receipt in the mail and it didn’t go over too well. If you don’t want to tell them, I advise coming up with an excuse as to why you’ve had surgery recently in case they find out you’re on bed rest. I hope your procedure goes smoothly and that you have a speedy recovery!!
Thank you for this advice I really appreciate it!!
> I am not sure if I will tell them I am doing this, but this is my choice Don't!!!!! There are so many stories in this sub and out there of people who've had their appointments cancelled by family pretending to be OP, family offering to drive them and then not show up or simply drive the other way, scream at them for hours in the hospital with everyone watching and all other kind of batshit insane stories. Everyone thinks it won't happen to them, but particularly wannabe-grandparents can go completely insane when they realize "their chance for a grandchild" is definitively taken away from them. Do yourself a favor and if you tell them, do it after the procedure. Also, congratulations :D
please Please PLEASE!!! don't tell ANYbody but your partner until it's well done and past. (5 years of looking at them in amusement / disappointment once the bisalp is history sounds about right ;-) )
Congrats! Enjoy sterility. It's amazingly freeing!
Hell yeah brother(gender neutral) 🤝🤝🤝
Whatever you do don’t tell anyone that you have been sterilized. I had a vasectomy at nineteen and never told anyone because everyone is so judgmental.
I hope everything goes smoothly and you have an easy recovery. If I were you, I wouldn't tell your mom or stepmom. My parents were staunch Catholics and would have been furious if they'd learned I had Essure. I just let them wonder why grandchildren hadn't materialized. (I'm a late-in-life baby so it's plausible that my husband and I were having difficulty TTC.)
Congratulations!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎊🥳🎊🎊🎊🥳🎊🥳🎊🎉🎉🎉
[удалено]
Omg you are so right! I never thought of it that way. Lol
That dancing emoji is like a top tier emoji
Yay yay yay welcome to the club!! Drink lots of water prior and post surgery, take your pain meds, and get plenty of rest!!
DON'T tell them, it's really none of anyone's fucking business
What level of petty would this be? Have your tubes removed then have each one set in resin. Then have them made into pendants and give one to mom and one to stepmom. When you hand them over tell them "Well, you're not getting grandkids but you can each have one of the fallopian tubes I had removed. Feel free to name yours whatever you like." Will they like that? No but they deserve it for not being more supportive of your choices. It's your life and they do not get a say in the matter.
Hell yeah!!! Congrats!!! Hope your favorite dessert is... Creampies 🤣 sorry lol
Don't tell them. Ever. What good can come from it?
I'm in VT, too. I'm still trying to find someone who will do mine. I'm very happy for you and a little jelly. Congrats! I hope everything goes smoothly. Don't tell them you don't want that stress. It's not their decision, not their bodies. You don't owe them an explanation or a heads up.
Good point! And thank you! UVM Medical Center in Burlington will do one, they were all for my decision and all they really did was make sure I knew the risks and stuff, and as a policy they needed to go over the possible regret of it not being reversible. But other than that they were super supportive! My Gyno over there said they have done a TON of these surgeries and people are super happy with the outcome! I am waiting to get a call from the scheduler since its a few months waiting for an appointment, but at least I know its going to happen for sure! 🥰
Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!
Congrats! It's the MOST liberating feeling ever and the best choice I've made! Wishing you a speedy recovery as well!
I’m so freaking jealous!!!
If you wouldn't tell your family about your sex life, then don't tell them about getting sterilized. It's truly none of their business.
I am SO HAPPY FOR YOU! Getting the surgery was the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. I’ve tried to get my boyfriend to go with a vasectomy but ended up going under the knife myself because that only protects me from getting pregnant by him and not anyone else. No whoopsie babies here!
Congrats!
/s Are you sure you want to go to such an extreme? /S Congratulations! One of us, one of us.
Congrats!! I go for my consult next week! Hoping I have the same success.
Thanks!! And good luck to you!!! 🤞💜
Don't tell them+!!! But congratulations!
Congrats! 🎉✨
It’s a shame peeps have to jump through hoops to avoid family being judgemental or being downright twatish. Congrats on your freedom! Enjoy it! I’m a jaffa so can’t have sprogs anyway and it is very freeing.
i got a hysterectomy jan 2020 and immediate family to this day still doesn’t know. hell, most people in my life don’t even know. i think only 3 people in my life know
Girl why would you carry the weight of contraception?! I heard this operation is super painful and has side effects unlike a vasectomy