Dump, ghost, block and stay away from her and her social media *since yesterday*.
The last thing you need in your life are people that aren’t going to change their already unhealthy and deteriorating ways and give you the slightest hint of being preyed, manipulated and used. There’s a reason why she’s an ex-friend.
I was certain I had blocked her on instagram, but I guess not. Part of this was my fault, as I should've made sure she was blocked, this could have been avoided if I did. (I did as soon as she sent me the video though, so no more manipulation.) That's true, I don't need that kind of lifestyle, I have my own things to deal with, rather than dealing with her emotional manipulation.
No, the Instagram thing \*isn't\* your fault, IMHO.
Responsible, mature people get the hint and respect your removal of consent when you block them for whatever reason.
That's on HER, entirely.
Just block her and walk away. She's a narcissist and wants all of the attention for herself and her brat(s) all of the time. You deserve a better friend.
I've seen teenage drama queens less obnoxious than this friend. Doesn't even matter if she's being manipulative, she just seems like a horrible person to be around for anyone who's not 12 and going through an existential crisis because their post didn't get enough likes.
As I mentioned in the post, she's always been like this, mostly after high school (sometimes I'd have to tell her not to do something stupid when we're hanging out.) but at least back then it was somewhat...manageable I guess? Ever since she became a mombie though, she's gotten much worse, to the point where I had bad anxiety around her/seeing her fb posts (I had to hide multiple posts of her on fb because they were just so...yikes.)
Seems to me she's 'stuck' in high school mode, and I'm too old for that (I'm a couple years away from 30. I'm done with high school drama, lol)
Geez. I was hoping she'd be a delayed bloomer at like 20 or something, but you guys are almost 30 and she's vagueposting about her life on Facebook?
Time for better friends. At the very least friends who've done some growing up in the past 15 years!
Yep, like it's time for her to realize that the world doesn't revolve around her/her crotch fruit. Sad thing is, my stepmom would ask her (because I'd be too afraid to ask) if the post was about me, and she'd be all 'No, it waS aBoUt sOmeOnE eLse!' BUT, she once ranted on facebook (again, about her 'small' her village was'), and again, she'd be manipulative and say 'tHis pOsT isN'T abOuT anYoNe iN PasRtIcUlAr, bUt iF tHe sHoE fiTs!'1!1'. She was very immature, can't believe I'm saying this, but I think her toddler is a bit more mature than she is...
*So, I ask you guys, am I being manipulated, or am I reading too much here?*
Nope, this woman is toxic. If anything, get a restraining order.
*...bribes me to be friends with her, possibly in a manipulative way.*
You can't bribe/entice someone in a non-manipulative way. There's nothing 'possibly' about this. Go with your gut here and disconnect yourself from this person in every way possible.
I blocked her on insta and fb (I'm gonna check if there are any other social media platforms that she's messaged before and block here there too.) There's absolutely no way in hell that I'm going back to that toxic friendship.
I'm in a narcissist support group (for victims of narcissists not for narcissists) and this is ringing some bells. You cut off a source of attention and now she's trying to get it back, she's trying to love bomb you with gifts and compliments and since that's not working she's trying to undermine your position in your friend group. Don't let her back in, you'll regret it.
*didn't see that baby on board sign (...she does know that those signs are actually for emergency crews in case there's an accident, right? Right?)*
Do you know this is not true ? Nobody ever takes it off when the kid is not on board, and nothing says you must get one when a child is in the car. Emergency services just can't rely on this.
Yeah, it's mostly for people to brag that they are breeders and the secondary use is supposed to make people not want to run into you as if people are trying to run into people without babies in their car
As soon as she sent me the video, I blocked her. I only watched the very beginning of the video, just because I was curious, didn't get past the 'send this to your best friend' and immediately blocked her. I think FB and insta were the only places we had contact, but I'm gonna check other platforms too, just in case. And exactly! You can only imagine how confused I was when she sent that to me, given the fact she knows that I don't want to be friends with her, and considering the fact that she claimed she was 'done'.
That's honestly what I was thinking. I think her second is due in a month or so, the timing seems just right for her to manipulate me to be friends with her again. I've blocked her on all the platforms that I could think of that we communicated through.
She's being manipulative.
If nothing else, the "I HaVe A gIfT fOr YoU" -- that's as transactional as it gets.
It's also what abusers say when their victims are finally able to get away from them, to entice them back into continuing the relationship.
Q. Is there anything missing from your life without her in it?
If the A is "no", and it sounds like it is, then carry on. Let momma bear deal with her own problems.
The answer is definitely no. I do miss having someone to hangout with (I only have 1 friend now, she doesn't have kids), but I can make new friends. Friends that don't make me feel shitty, the way she did.
She doesn't want to be friends when you don't worship the ground she walks on and dumps the friendship over you having an opinion she doesn't agree with. Now she's trying in a very obvious way to reconnect. I'd be suspicious she wants something of you.
If she'd actually felt bad she could have started by reaching out to apologize. I suspect this is more about upholding ger public image, and pressuring you into helping out with her kid. I recommend fading out and dropping the friendship all together.
Believe me, when I got the message notification from her, I was very suspicious, but I guess part of me was hoping she was wanting to apologize. (Even then, I wasn't gonna go back to that cycle of toxicity, knowing her, it never truly ends.) She knows I don't like kids or being around them, I don't know why she thinks it's a good idea for me to help out. It was hard enough being around 1 kid, 2 would be absolute hell for me. I have her blocked now.
Avoid trying to interpret her smoke signals. She seems like a lot of drama that should be dealt by a professional. Block her EVERYWHERE and live your best life.
>live your best life.
Ever since I blocked her on fb a couple months ago (Before she messaged me on insta), I've had less anxiety/stress! :) No worries about her coming over with her kid and him touching everything I own, including my cat (Who HATES being around kids in the first place.) As bad as this sounds, I honestly wish I'd dropped the friendship sooner, if I'd known how freeing it is.
Yep, done and done! Looked through all the platforms and blocked the accounts I messaged her through (Which wasn't a lot since we mostly talked VIA Insta or FB) Also:
He's gonna catch 'em all 'cause he's Danny Phantom! (Sorry, couldn't resist, love that show!)
She sounds schizo.
Block and move on. If she tries to reach you through friends/family tell them you don't want to be contacted by her. "No" is a complete sentence.
Leave this nut in your rearview mirror.
I don't think she tries to manipulate you, she cannot apparently hold two thoughts together, much less being in a state of mind to plan something like manipulation.
Sounds to me like one of those people who act on a momentary whim without anything remotely resembling an emotionally mature adult behavior, like a toddler.
Still best to stay away, cannot imagine being friends with someone like this.
>Is she wanting to be friends with me again Just so I can be part of 'her village'?
Yes. She feels entitled to free childcare because 'mums need a break'. That is the only reason why she wants you back as a 'friend'. All you are to her is, well, free childcare. you deserve better than this.
>I just feel like I'm being manipulated.
You are.
>Sure, I miss hanging out with her (pre-baby, where I didn't feel like a third wheel),
Yes, you miss the pre-baby days. Those days are never coming back. This friendship has ran its course.
>So, I ask you guys, am I being manipulated?
Yes.
>or am I reading too much here?
No.
She could possibly be manipulating you. She could also be unable to communicate she misses you in her life in an adult way. But I honestly think it doesn't matter which because either way: her behavior makes you anxious and you ended this friendship for good reason. It doesn't matter if you're reading too much into this or not: you ended a friendship that was bad for you. Other people's stress, toxicity or lack of mature communication isn't your burden nor your responsibility. You are allowed to keep the distance you've created
>I'm being manipulated
Sounds like she's trying to manipulate and/or use you. You can continue to ignore her - no need to respond to her. She may also be blasting stuff out to all her contacts - she's probably way too busy with baby to like actually apply individual attention to any given contact of hers, so just hits/broadcasts the same to all - at least most of the time anyway.
She’s using the carrot and stick method: dangling a possible rekindle of the friendship so she has a something from you.
Maybe she misses you, maybe she doesn’t, I don’t know. But I wouldn’t take that carrot, not now anyway
You're being manipulated and triangulated as well with this toddler running to your stepmom to 'tell on you!' That's the mark of both a narcissist and an emotionally immature abuser. You did the right thing and she is owed nothing, especially not an explanation.
She's not manipulating you because manipulation is smart. This is basic and rather transparent. She probably wants someone to bitch to or maybe she wants to be the one to leave you instead of you leave her? Who knows. People go through weird hormonal changes when they gives birth. Can completely change a person's personality permanently (Another reason I don't want to) But that's not your responsibility to take the brunt of her rage. Never was, never will be.
Dump, ghost, block and stay away from her and her social media *since yesterday*. The last thing you need in your life are people that aren’t going to change their already unhealthy and deteriorating ways and give you the slightest hint of being preyed, manipulated and used. There’s a reason why she’s an ex-friend.
I was certain I had blocked her on instagram, but I guess not. Part of this was my fault, as I should've made sure she was blocked, this could have been avoided if I did. (I did as soon as she sent me the video though, so no more manipulation.) That's true, I don't need that kind of lifestyle, I have my own things to deal with, rather than dealing with her emotional manipulation.
No, the Instagram thing \*isn't\* your fault, IMHO. Responsible, mature people get the hint and respect your removal of consent when you block them for whatever reason. That's on HER, entirely.
Just block her and walk away. She's a narcissist and wants all of the attention for herself and her brat(s) all of the time. You deserve a better friend.
Even if she's not manipulating you, life is too short to accommodate toxic people.
I've seen teenage drama queens less obnoxious than this friend. Doesn't even matter if she's being manipulative, she just seems like a horrible person to be around for anyone who's not 12 and going through an existential crisis because their post didn't get enough likes.
As I mentioned in the post, she's always been like this, mostly after high school (sometimes I'd have to tell her not to do something stupid when we're hanging out.) but at least back then it was somewhat...manageable I guess? Ever since she became a mombie though, she's gotten much worse, to the point where I had bad anxiety around her/seeing her fb posts (I had to hide multiple posts of her on fb because they were just so...yikes.) Seems to me she's 'stuck' in high school mode, and I'm too old for that (I'm a couple years away from 30. I'm done with high school drama, lol)
Geez. I was hoping she'd be a delayed bloomer at like 20 or something, but you guys are almost 30 and she's vagueposting about her life on Facebook? Time for better friends. At the very least friends who've done some growing up in the past 15 years!
Yep, like it's time for her to realize that the world doesn't revolve around her/her crotch fruit. Sad thing is, my stepmom would ask her (because I'd be too afraid to ask) if the post was about me, and she'd be all 'No, it waS aBoUt sOmeOnE eLse!' BUT, she once ranted on facebook (again, about her 'small' her village was'), and again, she'd be manipulative and say 'tHis pOsT isN'T abOuT anYoNe iN PasRtIcUlAr, bUt iF tHe sHoE fiTs!'1!1'. She was very immature, can't believe I'm saying this, but I think her toddler is a bit more mature than she is...
*So, I ask you guys, am I being manipulated, or am I reading too much here?* Nope, this woman is toxic. If anything, get a restraining order. *...bribes me to be friends with her, possibly in a manipulative way.* You can't bribe/entice someone in a non-manipulative way. There's nothing 'possibly' about this. Go with your gut here and disconnect yourself from this person in every way possible.
I blocked her on insta and fb (I'm gonna check if there are any other social media platforms that she's messaged before and block here there too.) There's absolutely no way in hell that I'm going back to that toxic friendship.
Ruuuuuuuuuun. That person is a timebomb waiting to explode on you
I'm in a narcissist support group (for victims of narcissists not for narcissists) and this is ringing some bells. You cut off a source of attention and now she's trying to get it back, she's trying to love bomb you with gifts and compliments and since that's not working she's trying to undermine your position in your friend group. Don't let her back in, you'll regret it.
*didn't see that baby on board sign (...she does know that those signs are actually for emergency crews in case there's an accident, right? Right?)* Do you know this is not true ? Nobody ever takes it off when the kid is not on board, and nothing says you must get one when a child is in the car. Emergency services just can't rely on this.
Yeah, it's mostly for people to brag that they are breeders and the secondary use is supposed to make people not want to run into you as if people are trying to run into people without babies in their car
The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. Edited 6/30/23
As soon as she sent me the video, I blocked her. I only watched the very beginning of the video, just because I was curious, didn't get past the 'send this to your best friend' and immediately blocked her. I think FB and insta were the only places we had contact, but I'm gonna check other platforms too, just in case. And exactly! You can only imagine how confused I was when she sent that to me, given the fact she knows that I don't want to be friends with her, and considering the fact that she claimed she was 'done'.
She wants money, gift for the baby shower and emotional punching bag. Block & ghost
That's honestly what I was thinking. I think her second is due in a month or so, the timing seems just right for her to manipulate me to be friends with her again. I've blocked her on all the platforms that I could think of that we communicated through.
She is manipulating you. Don't enable her. Just block and move on. She's not looking for friends; she's looking for free babysitting.
Block her on everything and move on.
She's being manipulative. If nothing else, the "I HaVe A gIfT fOr YoU" -- that's as transactional as it gets. It's also what abusers say when their victims are finally able to get away from them, to entice them back into continuing the relationship.
Q. Is there anything missing from your life without her in it? If the A is "no", and it sounds like it is, then carry on. Let momma bear deal with her own problems.
The answer is definitely no. I do miss having someone to hangout with (I only have 1 friend now, she doesn't have kids), but I can make new friends. Friends that don't make me feel shitty, the way she did.
She doesn't want to be friends when you don't worship the ground she walks on and dumps the friendship over you having an opinion she doesn't agree with. Now she's trying in a very obvious way to reconnect. I'd be suspicious she wants something of you. If she'd actually felt bad she could have started by reaching out to apologize. I suspect this is more about upholding ger public image, and pressuring you into helping out with her kid. I recommend fading out and dropping the friendship all together.
Believe me, when I got the message notification from her, I was very suspicious, but I guess part of me was hoping she was wanting to apologize. (Even then, I wasn't gonna go back to that cycle of toxicity, knowing her, it never truly ends.) She knows I don't like kids or being around them, I don't know why she thinks it's a good idea for me to help out. It was hard enough being around 1 kid, 2 would be absolute hell for me. I have her blocked now.
Avoid trying to interpret her smoke signals. She seems like a lot of drama that should be dealt by a professional. Block her EVERYWHERE and live your best life.
>live your best life. Ever since I blocked her on fb a couple months ago (Before she messaged me on insta), I've had less anxiety/stress! :) No worries about her coming over with her kid and him touching everything I own, including my cat (Who HATES being around kids in the first place.) As bad as this sounds, I honestly wish I'd dropped the friendship sooner, if I'd known how freeing it is.
Go Danny Phantom and GHOST her. Also block her on all social media.
Yep, done and done! Looked through all the platforms and blocked the accounts I messaged her through (Which wasn't a lot since we mostly talked VIA Insta or FB) Also: He's gonna catch 'em all 'cause he's Danny Phantom! (Sorry, couldn't resist, love that show!)
Baby on board sign: It’s actually not for emergencies and medical personnel, that’s just a common misconception.
Oh yeah, no, mom or no (you don’t need someone like that in your life), please run. Don’t allow her any further contact.
The answer to "am I being manipulated" is always: YES. Stay away. Stay away!
She sounds schizo. Block and move on. If she tries to reach you through friends/family tell them you don't want to be contacted by her. "No" is a complete sentence. Leave this nut in your rearview mirror.
Lol "Fiesty" no dude she's always been something of a self centered jerk.
This is your response. 
I don't think she tries to manipulate you, she cannot apparently hold two thoughts together, much less being in a state of mind to plan something like manipulation. Sounds to me like one of those people who act on a momentary whim without anything remotely resembling an emotionally mature adult behavior, like a toddler. Still best to stay away, cannot imagine being friends with someone like this.
>Is she wanting to be friends with me again Just so I can be part of 'her village'? Yes. She feels entitled to free childcare because 'mums need a break'. That is the only reason why she wants you back as a 'friend'. All you are to her is, well, free childcare. you deserve better than this. >I just feel like I'm being manipulated. You are. >Sure, I miss hanging out with her (pre-baby, where I didn't feel like a third wheel), Yes, you miss the pre-baby days. Those days are never coming back. This friendship has ran its course. >So, I ask you guys, am I being manipulated? Yes. >or am I reading too much here? No.
She could possibly be manipulating you. She could also be unable to communicate she misses you in her life in an adult way. But I honestly think it doesn't matter which because either way: her behavior makes you anxious and you ended this friendship for good reason. It doesn't matter if you're reading too much into this or not: you ended a friendship that was bad for you. Other people's stress, toxicity or lack of mature communication isn't your burden nor your responsibility. You are allowed to keep the distance you've created
>I'm being manipulated Sounds like she's trying to manipulate and/or use you. You can continue to ignore her - no need to respond to her. She may also be blasting stuff out to all her contacts - she's probably way too busy with baby to like actually apply individual attention to any given contact of hers, so just hits/broadcasts the same to all - at least most of the time anyway.
God I'm worried about her kid
She’s using the carrot and stick method: dangling a possible rekindle of the friendship so she has a something from you. Maybe she misses you, maybe she doesn’t, I don’t know. But I wouldn’t take that carrot, not now anyway
You're being manipulated and triangulated as well with this toddler running to your stepmom to 'tell on you!' That's the mark of both a narcissist and an emotionally immature abuser. You did the right thing and she is owed nothing, especially not an explanation.
She's not manipulating you because manipulation is smart. This is basic and rather transparent. She probably wants someone to bitch to or maybe she wants to be the one to leave you instead of you leave her? Who knows. People go through weird hormonal changes when they gives birth. Can completely change a person's personality permanently (Another reason I don't want to) But that's not your responsibility to take the brunt of her rage. Never was, never will be.
Good lord, dump her like yesterday and ride off into the sunset. That’s too much drama.