It sounds like you had a bit of a trauma response, causing you to not process the memory properly and it getting stuck in your head. The good news is that with a few sessions of therapy, you can overcome this and finally move on. The fact you've made this post suggests you're ready to move on, and not hold on to the memort any more
Not exactly the same, but I had an experience in high school that really did a number on me similarly. There was a popular girl who sat across the room from me and always wore tiny skirts and shiny underwear. I know because at the angle I was seated, sometimes I’d catch a glare from the light when she was moving around.
I saw a few times, ignored it, but then I heard people talking about seeing her underwear. So I thought someone should tell her, since apparently everyone can see. I found her at lunch one day and managed to say something and she didn’t say much, acted like I was a total weirdo, and then everyone was talking about me trying to sleep with her.
Ps. The short skirts and flashy panties continued, but I was trying to be nice girl to girl and let her know.
Been accused too. Think about it every day.
I was 10(m) and was watching Coraline with my little brother (4) at the time in my parents bedroom.
I remember eating special K cereal the kind with the chocolate chunks in it. I was sitting on my knees sorting through the cereal to get a big handful of chocolate and my brother decided he wanted it. He reached for it and fell and his hands were on my right thigh.
That was the moment my mom came in and just went hysterical and started asking me what I was doing with him. She never outright accused me. But the questions she asked made me realize she didn't trust me around him alone.
So from that point on I avoided all physical contact with my five siblings and now that I'm 22 and have moved out I've started to realize I'm not as close to them as I thought.
Haven't seen my siblings in a couple years not that they haven't asked me to. I just always have excuses as to why I can't. Feel like a stranger to my own family.
Awwwh I'm sorry that sounds so fucked up!!! I can imagine that being VERY damaging to a persons sense of self. Im sure she wasn't thinking about how she was effecting you in that moment and more acting on impulse, but thata still so wrong. You where watching her kid and she repays you by making you feel like that, I'm sorry but that's fucked up, good intentions or not, like seriously fuck that!! I'd hope she atleast acknowledged it, like later that day or the next when she thinks about how she overreacted and how her original child may be seriously emotionally effected by that, make sure u didn't internalise it, but doesn't sound like she did. I'm sorry but if that's her vibe, your better off, sounds like an asshole.
Sorry for late reply but no, no apology. My parents were the type to blow up over little stuff and then realize they overreacted and try to make up by buying things.
They'd just move on and act like whatever they did or said didn't matter because it was the past. Especially my dad.
I remember I got mixed up in some stuff with neighborhood kids. They bet me to bust a window on a house that nobody was living in and me being the idiot I am, I used a snow shovel. Turns out there was someone there. There was a dude who was working on the house and he came running outside after that happened. I remember just freezing in place lmao and then he started running towards me. I tried to run but my boot came off in the snow.
I ran back for it like a dumb dumb and he nabbed me by the shoulder. He asked where I lived. I shamefully pointed across the street. (Yes, I committed this stupid act in eyesight of my own house).
Well I ended up having to sit upstairs in my room for a couple hours and during that my dad came to talk to me. Just general "How could you be so stupid", "what's wrong with you!" Type stuff.
I remember in the heat of the moment I said "I hate you." Yup, that's on me. I was hurtful. He followed up with "I've always hated you, I never fucking wanted you."
He apologized during my graduation party 14 years later and I broke down crying because I didn't even know he remembered that. I "forgave" him at the moment but it still rubs me the wrong way.
The way I've always acted towards him was because of that moment. Never saying "I love you", never trying to hang out with him, never trying to be involved with any of his hobbies. It all would've been different had he just apologized that day, hell, that year.
Feel ya, I was accused racist while i was 7 in 1st grade. We've had afroamerican kid in our class (it's very rare to see someone with different skin tone than white in my country). We were good friends ngl and I said something that her skin is like chocolate and it must be amazing, she was giggling about it, but teacher called me racist, called my parents and we've had convo with school psychologist. Like for real. Even her parents defended me.
Oh dear…how awful. What a horrible teacher! You need to seek therapy! Not forever, but just to get over this fear. You CAN get over it with help. I’m so sorry you were bullied by your teacher and students.
It sounds like you had a bit of a trauma response, causing you to not process the memory properly and it getting stuck in your head. The good news is that with a few sessions of therapy, you can overcome this and finally move on. The fact you've made this post suggests you're ready to move on, and not hold on to the memort any more
thats so sad :( im so sorry this happened to you 🫂
Not exactly the same, but I had an experience in high school that really did a number on me similarly. There was a popular girl who sat across the room from me and always wore tiny skirts and shiny underwear. I know because at the angle I was seated, sometimes I’d catch a glare from the light when she was moving around. I saw a few times, ignored it, but then I heard people talking about seeing her underwear. So I thought someone should tell her, since apparently everyone can see. I found her at lunch one day and managed to say something and she didn’t say much, acted like I was a total weirdo, and then everyone was talking about me trying to sleep with her. Ps. The short skirts and flashy panties continued, but I was trying to be nice girl to girl and let her know.
Been accused too. Think about it every day. I was 10(m) and was watching Coraline with my little brother (4) at the time in my parents bedroom. I remember eating special K cereal the kind with the chocolate chunks in it. I was sitting on my knees sorting through the cereal to get a big handful of chocolate and my brother decided he wanted it. He reached for it and fell and his hands were on my right thigh. That was the moment my mom came in and just went hysterical and started asking me what I was doing with him. She never outright accused me. But the questions she asked made me realize she didn't trust me around him alone. So from that point on I avoided all physical contact with my five siblings and now that I'm 22 and have moved out I've started to realize I'm not as close to them as I thought. Haven't seen my siblings in a couple years not that they haven't asked me to. I just always have excuses as to why I can't. Feel like a stranger to my own family.
Awwwh I'm sorry that sounds so fucked up!!! I can imagine that being VERY damaging to a persons sense of self. Im sure she wasn't thinking about how she was effecting you in that moment and more acting on impulse, but thata still so wrong. You where watching her kid and she repays you by making you feel like that, I'm sorry but that's fucked up, good intentions or not, like seriously fuck that!! I'd hope she atleast acknowledged it, like later that day or the next when she thinks about how she overreacted and how her original child may be seriously emotionally effected by that, make sure u didn't internalise it, but doesn't sound like she did. I'm sorry but if that's her vibe, your better off, sounds like an asshole.
Sorry for late reply but no, no apology. My parents were the type to blow up over little stuff and then realize they overreacted and try to make up by buying things. They'd just move on and act like whatever they did or said didn't matter because it was the past. Especially my dad. I remember I got mixed up in some stuff with neighborhood kids. They bet me to bust a window on a house that nobody was living in and me being the idiot I am, I used a snow shovel. Turns out there was someone there. There was a dude who was working on the house and he came running outside after that happened. I remember just freezing in place lmao and then he started running towards me. I tried to run but my boot came off in the snow. I ran back for it like a dumb dumb and he nabbed me by the shoulder. He asked where I lived. I shamefully pointed across the street. (Yes, I committed this stupid act in eyesight of my own house). Well I ended up having to sit upstairs in my room for a couple hours and during that my dad came to talk to me. Just general "How could you be so stupid", "what's wrong with you!" Type stuff. I remember in the heat of the moment I said "I hate you." Yup, that's on me. I was hurtful. He followed up with "I've always hated you, I never fucking wanted you." He apologized during my graduation party 14 years later and I broke down crying because I didn't even know he remembered that. I "forgave" him at the moment but it still rubs me the wrong way. The way I've always acted towards him was because of that moment. Never saying "I love you", never trying to hang out with him, never trying to be involved with any of his hobbies. It all would've been different had he just apologized that day, hell, that year.
I hope the teacher dies of ass cancer.
My go too death-wish is that I hope they jump off a a bridge and break thier spine 😒
Feel ya, I was accused racist while i was 7 in 1st grade. We've had afroamerican kid in our class (it's very rare to see someone with different skin tone than white in my country). We were good friends ngl and I said something that her skin is like chocolate and it must be amazing, she was giggling about it, but teacher called me racist, called my parents and we've had convo with school psychologist. Like for real. Even her parents defended me.
Without definitive proof, no one should be accused of anything. Good people have their entire lives ruined over accusations
try emdr babes it's excellent for treating trauma like this
Oh dear…how awful. What a horrible teacher! You need to seek therapy! Not forever, but just to get over this fear. You CAN get over it with help. I’m so sorry you were bullied by your teacher and students.
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