You're really handling a tough spot with grace and understanding. Feeling hurt and confused after such a deep connection is totally understandable. Giving her space shows a lot of maturity. Focus on healing and taking care of urself right now. Keep that positive outlook and take things day by day.
Well there's never not a chance.
However, to put it bluntly, you'd do better to just completely move on. From the messages, she is not healthy right now and she's done something pretty introspective to just end it.
Even if she does get healthy, you are from a time when she was not and she may want to avoid that. So you'd have waited around for nothing.
Mark her as a past friend and work on finding love elsewhere. It will be better for you and your future partner.
If she does heal and wants to reach out, maybe that will happen. But there's no use hoping and waiting
What othet options? She told you she isn't ready and she doesn't want to keep seeing you. It is time for you to move on, that is the only option because waiting around just hoping she heals her heart in the next month is not healthy or smart.
That message was clear, she does not want to pursue a relationship with you. Of course maybe you could reconnect in the future but for now it is over and you need to move on from this with that in mind.
It's tough and probably not what you want to hear, but I think she's made herself clear. You need to cease contact and move on. Not blocking you doesn't mean she plans to reconnect, it could also just be because blocking feels harsh. If you struggle with this I would recommend you unfriend/unfollow and delete her details so you aren't tempted to reach out again.
It’s not what I want to hear, but I understand. She’s terrified to confront her feelings with everything going on in her life. When we talked and hung out, I unintentionally overwhelmed her by making her aware of the feelings she’s been repressing. She told me that she exploded with her feelings at a bar not this past weekend but the previous weekend, and she was crying the entire time. She really doesn’t want to confront how she’s feeling right now; she wants peace and to take a step back—her words. But I didn’t mean to overwhelm her. She told me her friends weren’t helping her, and I realize now that I might have added to her stress even though she said I didn’t do anything wrong. But I really never meant to make things harder for her. I just wanted to support and understandher. We listened to each other and shared our stories, and I understood her because I have trauma too. We connected on a deep level, and that meant a lot to me. I respect her need for space and hope she can find the clarity and peace she needs
The other crappy thing is we both understood each other in ways that we’ve never had ever. I think that’s what also really hurts I have a hard time connecting with people and so does she and we just clicked
I got some great advice from an ex, and they said if you are unsure what to do, don't do anything. Giving her space is respectful and it doesn't necessarily mean "it's over," but chances are that it is. People come into our lives to teach us things about life and ourselves. You have learned that you are ready for a serious relationship and someone you can confide in and connect with, and that is huge. It can happen that sometimes we meet the right person at the wrong time, but you shouldn't stop your life on a maybe. Enjoy the friend zone with her, but don't forget about finding your happiness while you wait to see if this young lady can figure out how to love herself. She can only love you as deeply as she loves herself, and with trauma and depression, she has a looooong road ahead of her. Best of luck, and maybe get into a new hobby to keep your mind busy for a while, until the initial pain eases.
You’re 1000% right thank you I guess I’ll move on!!
I don’t think she loves me we haven’t known Bach other long enough for that but, I know she was worried about hurting me and hurting herself by hurting me.
She doesn’t want a friendship sadly I asked for that and she wanted space and to be alone for now. But again she does hang with her friends so I assume that’s because there’s no expectations or commitment involved or the emotional depth as there wouid be within in a relationship. And I assume it’s because I also know a lot about what she’s going through and she doesn’t want to confront her emotions that’s what she’s told me not just towards me but, in general between her family issues and whatever else she has going on.
Ahhh, well then scratch the friend business. Honestly, a clean break is better. It sucks that you invested feelings and were vulnerable with her, and she got scared of the intimacy (and likely she has some abandonment issues, so would be afraid to lose someone she confided in, so she kicks you to the curb before you can leave her, gotta love insecure attachment styles or "yo-yo") but there are so many women out there who are mature enough to handle their past. You deserve an equal, not someone who will need you as a partner/therapist. People who are hurting call out to the universe, unbeknownst to them, for help. You answered the call, but she is not consciously ready to get help. I don't know anyone who has not had a similar situation pass at some point in their dating life. It sucks, but being in a long-term relationship with someone who has yo-yo tendencies (I hate you, don't leave me) does horrible things to the mind.
It suck we shared a lot together I don’t connect with people so this is new to me to connect on this level just for her to leave and I get it she has a lot going on and maybe it was out of fear but, I wish she knew that I see the deepest, darkest parts of her and still like her for who she is. I don’t see someone who is broken, less than, or flawed; I her as someone who is strong, resilient, and beautifully unique
But on the other hand even if I tell her she may find it weird.
Plus I want to tell her text her this but, it’s been 4 days since our last convo but I’m terrified she won’t respond or want me to text it to her:
I hope you’re doing well. It’s been 4 days, and I wasn’t sure if I should say anything, but I wanted to reach out.
I wanted to give you the space you asked for and respect your decision. I just want to let you know that I understand and support your need to focus on yourself. Please don’t feel any obligation to respond or continue talking right now. Whenever you’re ready to talk again, if you decide that’s something you want, I’ll be here.
I truly wish you all the best because you deserve it. Maybe when you’re in a better place, we can reconnect, even if it’s just as friends, but I understand if that’s not what you want.
Take care.
The letter is a good idea for your own closure, but I would recommend not sending it. People get weird when they ask for space. Any contact you have with her from this point on will do more harm than good. She could interpret it in many ways, but speaking from personal experience, I would get infuriated with someone who kept trying to contact me after I wanted out. It made me dislike them, instead of myself. Let your last interaction with her be as it was, since she was the one who drew the hard line. I think it's a good sign she didn't ghost you, but I wouldn't push it to where she feels it necessary to block you on socials.
THANK YOU idk who you are but you’re awesome!
Do you think she might have been seeking intimacy without wanting a committed relationship?
I’m not that guy if I’m being honest
You're really handling a tough spot with grace and understanding. Feeling hurt and confused after such a deep connection is totally understandable. Giving her space shows a lot of maturity. Focus on healing and taking care of urself right now. Keep that positive outlook and take things day by day.
Your words mean a lot to me honestly! But is there any chance in the future based on her text?
Well there's never not a chance. However, to put it bluntly, you'd do better to just completely move on. From the messages, she is not healthy right now and she's done something pretty introspective to just end it. Even if she does get healthy, you are from a time when she was not and she may want to avoid that. So you'd have waited around for nothing. Mark her as a past friend and work on finding love elsewhere. It will be better for you and your future partner. If she does heal and wants to reach out, maybe that will happen. But there's no use hoping and waiting
Is there anyway I can get more views on this so I can get more opinions?
What othet options? She told you she isn't ready and she doesn't want to keep seeing you. It is time for you to move on, that is the only option because waiting around just hoping she heals her heart in the next month is not healthy or smart. That message was clear, she does not want to pursue a relationship with you. Of course maybe you could reconnect in the future but for now it is over and you need to move on from this with that in mind.
It's tough and probably not what you want to hear, but I think she's made herself clear. You need to cease contact and move on. Not blocking you doesn't mean she plans to reconnect, it could also just be because blocking feels harsh. If you struggle with this I would recommend you unfriend/unfollow and delete her details so you aren't tempted to reach out again.
It’s not what I want to hear, but I understand. She’s terrified to confront her feelings with everything going on in her life. When we talked and hung out, I unintentionally overwhelmed her by making her aware of the feelings she’s been repressing. She told me that she exploded with her feelings at a bar not this past weekend but the previous weekend, and she was crying the entire time. She really doesn’t want to confront how she’s feeling right now; she wants peace and to take a step back—her words. But I didn’t mean to overwhelm her. She told me her friends weren’t helping her, and I realize now that I might have added to her stress even though she said I didn’t do anything wrong. But I really never meant to make things harder for her. I just wanted to support and understandher. We listened to each other and shared our stories, and I understood her because I have trauma too. We connected on a deep level, and that meant a lot to me. I respect her need for space and hope she can find the clarity and peace she needs
The other crappy thing is we both understood each other in ways that we’ve never had ever. I think that’s what also really hurts I have a hard time connecting with people and so does she and we just clicked
I got some great advice from an ex, and they said if you are unsure what to do, don't do anything. Giving her space is respectful and it doesn't necessarily mean "it's over," but chances are that it is. People come into our lives to teach us things about life and ourselves. You have learned that you are ready for a serious relationship and someone you can confide in and connect with, and that is huge. It can happen that sometimes we meet the right person at the wrong time, but you shouldn't stop your life on a maybe. Enjoy the friend zone with her, but don't forget about finding your happiness while you wait to see if this young lady can figure out how to love herself. She can only love you as deeply as she loves herself, and with trauma and depression, she has a looooong road ahead of her. Best of luck, and maybe get into a new hobby to keep your mind busy for a while, until the initial pain eases.
You’re 1000% right thank you I guess I’ll move on!! I don’t think she loves me we haven’t known Bach other long enough for that but, I know she was worried about hurting me and hurting herself by hurting me. She doesn’t want a friendship sadly I asked for that and she wanted space and to be alone for now. But again she does hang with her friends so I assume that’s because there’s no expectations or commitment involved or the emotional depth as there wouid be within in a relationship. And I assume it’s because I also know a lot about what she’s going through and she doesn’t want to confront her emotions that’s what she’s told me not just towards me but, in general between her family issues and whatever else she has going on.
Ahhh, well then scratch the friend business. Honestly, a clean break is better. It sucks that you invested feelings and were vulnerable with her, and she got scared of the intimacy (and likely she has some abandonment issues, so would be afraid to lose someone she confided in, so she kicks you to the curb before you can leave her, gotta love insecure attachment styles or "yo-yo") but there are so many women out there who are mature enough to handle their past. You deserve an equal, not someone who will need you as a partner/therapist. People who are hurting call out to the universe, unbeknownst to them, for help. You answered the call, but she is not consciously ready to get help. I don't know anyone who has not had a similar situation pass at some point in their dating life. It sucks, but being in a long-term relationship with someone who has yo-yo tendencies (I hate you, don't leave me) does horrible things to the mind.
Thank you!!!
It suck we shared a lot together I don’t connect with people so this is new to me to connect on this level just for her to leave and I get it she has a lot going on and maybe it was out of fear but, I wish she knew that I see the deepest, darkest parts of her and still like her for who she is. I don’t see someone who is broken, less than, or flawed; I her as someone who is strong, resilient, and beautifully unique But on the other hand even if I tell her she may find it weird. Plus I want to tell her text her this but, it’s been 4 days since our last convo but I’m terrified she won’t respond or want me to text it to her: I hope you’re doing well. It’s been 4 days, and I wasn’t sure if I should say anything, but I wanted to reach out. I wanted to give you the space you asked for and respect your decision. I just want to let you know that I understand and support your need to focus on yourself. Please don’t feel any obligation to respond or continue talking right now. Whenever you’re ready to talk again, if you decide that’s something you want, I’ll be here. I truly wish you all the best because you deserve it. Maybe when you’re in a better place, we can reconnect, even if it’s just as friends, but I understand if that’s not what you want. Take care.
The letter is a good idea for your own closure, but I would recommend not sending it. People get weird when they ask for space. Any contact you have with her from this point on will do more harm than good. She could interpret it in many ways, but speaking from personal experience, I would get infuriated with someone who kept trying to contact me after I wanted out. It made me dislike them, instead of myself. Let your last interaction with her be as it was, since she was the one who drew the hard line. I think it's a good sign she didn't ghost you, but I wouldn't push it to where she feels it necessary to block you on socials.
THANK YOU idk who you are but you’re awesome! Do you think she might have been seeking intimacy without wanting a committed relationship? I’m not that guy if I’m being honest