Octopuses do not have any bones with the exception of their beaks. so if you are responsible and depraved enough to be literally the life support of your 8 limbed friend, you can debeak it like how you'd declaw a cat and then push your member into it's feed chute.
You can then let it subsist on your baby batter.
The Octopus is smart. Very smart. It will learn that without it's beak, it cannot feed on anything else but your human seed that has to be milked from you.
Every morning, you will feel your clothes slide off and a damp weight on your lower half.
The sensation creeps up your body until most of the jiggly mass has enveloped the entire length. It will start pumping as fast as it can for it is hungry.
The animal gyrates its empty stomach and the folds of its brain rubbing on your glans, begging for nutrition.
You climax and give the marine creature's breakfast. The pumping slows down but doesn't stop to milk out the last few drops of its meal.
Looking into its yellow animal eyes, it looks back with a thousand-yard stare. This will be routine for all of its meals for the rest of it's 3-5 years on this god forsaken planet.
Did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more
For Americans who know John Oliver and may or may not know his old podcast with Andy Zaltzman, they praised this road very highly. "What a road! Personally I like to stand in the middle of Stonehenge and look at the A303..."
Archaeologist here, I can’t imagine this being an actual sample of the road unless it’s been heavily restored for curation. The boundaries are too straight and distinct. Not enough compaction is present overall- time and weight will destroy all. I would also expect more color leaching overall. And that buried turbine line looks too rich and organic.
Edits: *turf line.
4 Hours before your comment:
>I can't imagine it's an actual core sample from the road, no.
You:
>I can’t imagine this being an actual sample of the road
I can't imagine someone plagiarizing a reddit comment in the same exact thread but hey, maybe that's a limitation on my end.
They did provide different information, presented from their pov as an archaeologist and the comment complements the previous one. Did they use similar wording in their opening sentence? Yes, but given the context it seems fine surely?
that’s not what plagiarism is, especially over a non unique comment, turned unique and provided more specialised information over the topic at hand, but oh well how dare they educate us
Hey, just my two cents given my professional experience and personal opinion. Would it make you feel better if I started with “I agree with the comment above, also can’t imagine that it’s a real core, and here’s why-“? Okey doke, there it is.
I can't imagine it's an actual core sample from the road, no.
The modern road [will have several layers under the asphalt and be deeper than that whole stack](https://engineeringdiscoveries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Untitled-1d.jpg).
No idea about the other layers.
Ok but that's a picture of Silverstone (Maggots and Becketts) and I'd expect a dedicated racetrack to have a different layering of road material than a standard highway
Those are American construction workers and there is an american flag on the side of the machinery. Definately not a pic of the UK but does look a lot like Silversone though.
Probably not. It's likely sections got removed and replaced over time. It would be weird to keep building on top until the road is 2' higher than the ground
Idk of all the things hinting this is just an example of the surface conditions of the road at the time, depth is not one of them. There are cities that have basements that used to be first floor parts and others that are known to be dozens of feet higher than a couple hundred years ago. You don’t really rip up road that deep. Maybe 6 inches to 2 feet down. But this image is misleading. Each layer is probably multiple Roman roads and multiple medical roads that are just added on. So when you redo the road you take away some of the top but not all of it. Plus natural soil deposition will bury something in a decade far enough down they may you won’t know it’s there. In our area I uncovered a stone walkway that’s probably ten years old and it was 7 inches down.
i live near this road and would drive on it every day to school. it’s not something you think about often, but when you remember that it was literally romans who built a lot of your roads, it is very cool.
I live near one of the oldest roads in the uk, to be able to pop out and walk the same road that people have been walking on for over 5000 years is wild
There's a fucking Roman theater in the middle of my home city, right next to the city center. It's built into the hill with the medieval castle, with a cathedral around the corner.
I'm a history enthusiast and straight up studied Latin and shit in college, and I still had trouble noticing the damn thing was *there* when walking past it.
That was an interesting feature in Susan Cooper’s *The Dark Is Rising* series—the concept of “oldways” were special magic is possible because the paths reflect ancient design.
This road also goes right past Stonehenge too if you're interested in that. It's a little annoying actually because it causes traffic when people slow down to get a good look.
>having so much history just around right next to you is awesome
In Australia, we have history all around us too, [it's just that most people don't care](https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-10-12/nt-court-convicts-nsw-men-for-uluru-cave-art-damage-handprints/102968566).
I had the exact same feeling, I know I've seen it in person and can't think where. Only place I've visited that I think would have this was the Jorvik centre in York, thinking maybe they had same display (for a different road maybe?)
Is it me or does it look like Romans did a better job of getting things done than that Turnpike the British did?
Also including the current Gaza situation as well.
Turnpike roads weren't used by lorries, they were built in the 18th and 19th century and used by horse and cart.
But he's talking nonsense or stirring because the turnpike doesn't look any better or worse than the Roman road to me. It was not a modern tarmac road, and they were not built by the government but by private individuals and companies, but they were better than what came before, that was the whole point of them - to fix roads that were becoming impassable.
They were there on and off before, however when ice ages happened they'd migrate South. Something which has since ingrained in our DNA. Sorry Spain, they are not our best either.
Bronze age is just when the lot who didn't arrive came.
"Turnpike" is an old-fashioned word here, since nearly all British roads are toll-free nowadays. This wasn't the case in the 18th and 19th centuries, however.
I live a stones throw from this road and travel along it most days and had this exact thought while driving along it this morning. I’ve heard that it follows an ancient reindeer migratory track and I was just thinking of that all those thousands of years ago and what the landscape would have looked like then.
Your post was determined to be a duplicate of another recent post
IS THAT A JAGUAR XJ 220?!?!?
Perfect for caning past Stonehenge at 200mph.
You’ll have to be on the grass for that
Yeah you'd have to be on the grass to cane past at 20mph in my experience.
Why go so slowly? I believe it can do up to 220mph.
Let me show you all of its quirks and features.
If only there was a place where fine vehicles like this get auctioned
CARS 🌈 AND 🌈 BIDS
Is that a.. jaaaaaaaaag?
With the turbo....laaaaaaaaaag?
Shouldn’t you know better then most of us?!?!?
Fuck yeah! Came here for this comment. Edit: holy shit. r/usernamechecksout
Likewise
Sure looks like one https://drive-my.com/images/2014-test/Jaguar-XJ220-test-drive-02.jpg
Guys i parked my squid on modern road instead of natural chalk and it wont turn on. Any idea of what i can do?
You gotta stimulate the nipples
Hi guys, I also have question. Where do I find squid nipples? I need to know so I can turn parked squid on.
I did some research, [hope this helps](https://drawception.com/panel/drawing/hx4z3336/man-with-squids-for-nipples/)
Well look at Sherlock Holmes over here.
Risky click
Your nipples.
Octopuses do not have any bones with the exception of their beaks. so if you are responsible and depraved enough to be literally the life support of your 8 limbed friend, you can debeak it like how you'd declaw a cat and then push your member into it's feed chute. You can then let it subsist on your baby batter. The Octopus is smart. Very smart. It will learn that without it's beak, it cannot feed on anything else but your human seed that has to be milked from you. Every morning, you will feel your clothes slide off and a damp weight on your lower half. The sensation creeps up your body until most of the jiggly mass has enveloped the entire length. It will start pumping as fast as it can for it is hungry. The animal gyrates its empty stomach and the folds of its brain rubbing on your glans, begging for nutrition. You climax and give the marine creature's breakfast. The pumping slows down but doesn't stop to milk out the last few drops of its meal. Looking into its yellow animal eyes, it looks back with a thousand-yard stare. This will be routine for all of its meals for the rest of it's 3-5 years on this god forsaken planet.
What the fuck 😭
This is enough internet for today.
Nope, just nope
Tell me another bed time story daddy 🤤
Did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more
Time to leave earth.
Wait my nipples or the squids?
This made me crack up, I was looking for the squid comment
Unplug it, then plug it back in.
Give it a couple of squid to buy a snack and I'm sure it'll behave.
Have you tried to reset it with commands: >net stop squid >net start squid
Flick the beak and tongue punch the cloacha
It needs given ten tickles.
You've spelt test tickles wrong
I know that road well, and there’s definitely some pot holes so deep they’re becoming archaeological. Bloody Tories.
slim ripe nail longing cooperative tie skirt live smoggy sense *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
All the quotes come back from the Tory-donor contractors: “£32bn, plus contingency“
Well they should stop taking dirty great slices out like this for a start.
Or they should pave the asphalt on a solid base of clean structural clay and road crush!
Rishi can’t see the potholes from his private jet
But they’re stopping the trans people. Or something.
Stopping the trains more like
There’s one near me exposing cobblestones
Go out at night, wear mask, spray paint dicks in them. Heard that one worked before
I had to read this several times before realizing the A303 is a road and not an Airbus. 😀
It’s the road that goes directly past Stonehenge so has probably been used for thousands of years.
judicious door tie pause cough plough badge fuel cake cooing *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
"No one knows who they were... or what they were doing..."
Funny, they don't look Druish.
I knew before i clicked it would be this masterpiece!
The Levellers busked there !
For Americans who know John Oliver and may or may not know his old podcast with Andy Zaltzman, they praised this road very highly. "What a road! Personally I like to stand in the middle of Stonehenge and look at the A303..."
Is this an actual slice or does it sample a part of each section?
Archaeologist here, I can’t imagine this being an actual sample of the road unless it’s been heavily restored for curation. The boundaries are too straight and distinct. Not enough compaction is present overall- time and weight will destroy all. I would also expect more color leaching overall. And that buried turbine line looks too rich and organic. Edits: *turf line.
4 Hours before your comment: >I can't imagine it's an actual core sample from the road, no. You: >I can’t imagine this being an actual sample of the road I can't imagine someone plagiarizing a reddit comment in the same exact thread but hey, maybe that's a limitation on my end.
They did provide different information, presented from their pov as an archaeologist and the comment complements the previous one. Did they use similar wording in their opening sentence? Yes, but given the context it seems fine surely?
Seems like you don't know what plagiarism is Edit: wow replying then blocking me, the coward's move.
That's not what plagiarism is.
that’s not what plagiarism is, especially over a non unique comment, turned unique and provided more specialised information over the topic at hand, but oh well how dare they educate us
Woah how dare you use the same phrase as the reply from just 15 minutes ago! /s
Seems to me like you were right, it’s a limitation on your end.
Hey, just my two cents given my professional experience and personal opinion. Would it make you feel better if I started with “I agree with the comment above, also can’t imagine that it’s a real core, and here’s why-“? Okey doke, there it is.
Be real, you read that other comment first
Like four other people also replied with the same thing. Why are you picking on them.
People often repeat fragments of sentences they hear or read. That isn't special.
This is a really, really bizarre hill to die on.
Welcome to reddit
Dude get a life
I can't imagine it's an actual core sample from the road, no. The modern road [will have several layers under the asphalt and be deeper than that whole stack](https://engineeringdiscoveries.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Untitled-1d.jpg). No idea about the other layers.
Ok but that's a picture of Silverstone (Maggots and Becketts) and I'd expect a dedicated racetrack to have a different layering of road material than a standard highway
Those are American construction workers and there is an american flag on the side of the machinery. Definately not a pic of the UK but does look a lot like Silversone though.
COTA Esses, which were modelled on the Silverstone section
Probably not. It's likely sections got removed and replaced over time. It would be weird to keep building on top until the road is 2' higher than the ground
Idk of all the things hinting this is just an example of the surface conditions of the road at the time, depth is not one of them. There are cities that have basements that used to be first floor parts and others that are known to be dozens of feet higher than a couple hundred years ago. You don’t really rip up road that deep. Maybe 6 inches to 2 feet down. But this image is misleading. Each layer is probably multiple Roman roads and multiple medical roads that are just added on. So when you redo the road you take away some of the top but not all of it. Plus natural soil deposition will bury something in a decade far enough down they may you won’t know it’s there. In our area I uncovered a stone walkway that’s probably ten years old and it was 7 inches down.
In Vienna I remember seeing a section of the road that had a fence around it and 20’ below was the old road from Roman times. It blew my mind.
iirc we have no real evidence of roman roads being built on top of bronze age tracks so i highly doubt it
Super cool to see the history laid out like this
Actual cool guide!
Is this why the UK hasn’t sunk into the sea? Just keep putting new layers on top? /s
You say that, but... You're almost not wrong.
I wonder if a Jaguar XJ220 has ever actually been driven on the A303?
yes.
Username checks out
Most popular route from the majority of the country to the West Country so doubtless.
Majority of the south maybe. A lot of the northern traffic would come down the m5
Quite a few XJ220 owners in London I'd guess and they'd definitely be taking the A303
Must have been at some point surely
Probably, but has a squid?
What have the Romans ever done for us?
The aqua-duct.
The architectures
I mean, where would we be without Roman Numerals?
We wouldn't be here living in the year MMXXIII. High V!
I'm so MMMVIII, you so MM and late.
Rocky V would have never been made. Neither would Rocky VII: Adrian's Revenge
Well first off… uhh, I mean..to begin with…
Just think, if only they invented a number for 0
To the person who invented 0: thanks for nothing!
I think about that everyday.
I don't want to sound like a complete idiot, but how did squid use chalk roads to get around?
Calk is made from the remains of ancient sea life.
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Lmao
That is cool
What business did squid have to attend to in the city back then?
i know we're all supposed to hate the uk on reddit but i think its so cool, having so much history just around right next to you is awesome
i live near this road and would drive on it every day to school. it’s not something you think about often, but when you remember that it was literally romans who built a lot of your roads, it is very cool.
I live near one of the oldest roads in the uk, to be able to pop out and walk the same road that people have been walking on for over 5000 years is wild
There's a fucking Roman theater in the middle of my home city, right next to the city center. It's built into the hill with the medieval castle, with a cathedral around the corner. I'm a history enthusiast and straight up studied Latin and shit in college, and I still had trouble noticing the damn thing was *there* when walking past it.
That was an interesting feature in Susan Cooper’s *The Dark Is Rising* series—the concept of “oldways” were special magic is possible because the paths reflect ancient design.
This road also goes right past Stonehenge too if you're interested in that. It's a little annoying actually because it causes traffic when people slow down to get a good look.
Wut
>having so much history just around right next to you is awesome In Australia, we have history all around us too, [it's just that most people don't care](https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-10-12/nt-court-convicts-nsw-men-for-uluru-cave-art-damage-handprints/102968566).
So basically a pothole can drop you into medieval ages?
Last place I would have expected to see a Jaguar XJ220.
Where is this? I'm sure I've seen this in person before but can't remember where
I’ve been there many times as I live in South West England. [Haynes Motor Museum](https://maps.app.goo.gl/BmpWn32wBzVbDWJ7A?g_st=ic)
This is the road that goes past Stonehenge.
I had the exact same feeling, I know I've seen it in person and can't think where. Only place I've visited that I think would have this was the Jorvik centre in York, thinking maybe they had same display (for a different road maybe?)
Next thing should be the tunnel
Squid loves natural chalk
Is it me or does it look like Romans did a better job of getting things done than that Turnpike the British did? Also including the current Gaza situation as well.
Romans didn't have big lorries to deal with, and they also had no mercy. Nice try.
Turnpike roads weren't used by lorries, they were built in the 18th and 19th century and used by horse and cart. But he's talking nonsense or stirring because the turnpike doesn't look any better or worse than the Roman road to me. It was not a modern tarmac road, and they were not built by the government but by private individuals and companies, but they were better than what came before, that was the whole point of them - to fix roads that were becoming impassable.
I want to see the giant squid constructed roads.
Nice to know squid travelled the chalk road
England is mostly chalk
The far south is, the rest isn't.
Go to the far south and it's all granite.
Yep. Can see that transition of chalk to granite on the coastal path. Beautiful scenery.
Wild to see that humans have been in England since the Bronze Age!
Been there longer than that, https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skara_Brae Stone Age village in the Scottish isles that’s amazingly preserved.
They were there on and off before, however when ice ages happened they'd migrate South. Something which has since ingrained in our DNA. Sorry Spain, they are not our best either. Bronze age is just when the lot who didn't arrive came.
Try at least [half a million years](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boxgrove_Man)
The American mind cannot comprehend this
So why did the medical period have such a smooth consistency compared to the Romans, who are considered to be more advanced inroad building terms?
That "smooth consistency" ???... It's mud. Just Mud. and maybe a few rocks.
Why ask? You will just delete them if you disagree.
Bring back the natural chalk
If we keep going will we eventually hit the moon?
We've got enough potholes as it is without them taking slices out of them! 😄
Should put a cross section of a stationary car on top to match the traffic.
Why does modern road look like a slice of black pudding?
Interesting choice of vehicle to use to identify automobile roads. That's the silhouette of a Jaguar XJ220, for anyone who knows or cares.
Wow! This is so interesting.
cruising down the street in my mf squid
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"Turnpike" is an old-fashioned word here, since nearly all British roads are toll-free nowadays. This wasn't the case in the 18th and 19th centuries, however.
#A Ferrari?
It blows my mind to think of all the lives that have travelled this particular road.
I live a stones throw from this road and travel along it most days and had this exact thought while driving along it this morning. I’ve heard that it follows an ancient reindeer migratory track and I was just thinking of that all those thousands of years ago and what the landscape would have looked like then.
Very cool
Bruh, there's a pothole in the natural chalk. Where are all the squid tax dollars going?
Super cool
Ashphalt rules. Yay for oil!
Wow no pot hole... attention Australian government
Wow
So interesting!
Sooo is the world getting "taller"?
Where’s the stationary car on top of it, waiting for the traffic to ease, as two lanes merge to one, at Stonehenge?
Welcome to another episode of cake or fake! Today we have the A303! Let’s slice into it!
They've basically admitted that the pre-Roman civilisations of the UK had already built straight roads or track ways the Romans built on top of.
Is this in the Haynes museum? I feel like I've seen it before
The Great A303 Squid Empire shall rise again!
The top one looks like black pudding
Thats today's Roman empire thought taken care of. Nice
lol one nice new car. Should be a thousand shitty caravans stopped at stone henge
and only the modern roads get potholes and damaged xD /s
I wonder what the next one will be
Forbidden cake
*Mediaeval
What happened to squid for them to be banished to the ocean instead of being able to walk on chalk roads among us
Explains a lot.
Sorry where is the pothole
In the road. Where do you think they got this from?
St Albans?
i’m pretty sure this was in the colchester castle museum if anyone’s wondering.
Someone made a conscious decision to make the car an XJ220 and I applaud them for it.
This is in Reading Museum!
Chalk road was the best.. you could wheel spin the old cart with a great effect.. looked like smoke.. Ah those were the days.
The chalk was never a road or path to begin with do you not see the squid
You do realise it's a joke..🥴
Modern road looks great! Wtf are they making them out of now though because the road looks like we've been bombed!
I'm close by to this. Where is this picture taken?
That top layer is way too thick. It should be almost worn through
Interesting the loss of knowledge after the fall of the Roman Empire until recently (ish)
They have this exact thing in the Museum of Liverpool as well!
So Mac Adam roads are in the modern section right?