Breaks my heart that you feel this way. I always thought people who rocked that hair similarly to yours are absolutely beautiful. They always look like models to me! I’m sad that your family calls it a “clown wig”, it’s most definitely not. But if I had to share one message to you, it’s to accept yourself and love your natural beauty. I promise you’ll start noticing just how gorgeous it is because it is part of who you are.
Second this... You just gotta accept it. Once you do that, overtime, your image of yourself will change and you'll start to realize how pretty your hair is. It takes time... But I can't even imagine picking up a hair straightener nowadays, even though I used to straighten my hair every day. Horrifying.
ur hair is the OPPOSITE OF UGLY!!!!!! it is absolutely stunning!!! as an artist who loves drawing original characters, i have lost count of the amount of times i have given characters your EXACT hair because I find it so incredibly beautiful!!! i’m so sorry that you’re going through that :((( I hope that with time, you can learn to fully love your hair 🥺
Hi, love. 👋🏽 I'm so sorry you're going through this... Respectfully, your family is very rude and inconsiderate to talk to you that way. 💔
I've experienced a bit of this myself when I was growing up. I'm mixed and many of my rude family members did not have curly hair, or did not wear it curly. I was lucky to have parents and friends who buffered the negative effects of those family members and society at large by building my self-esteem up. However, that love did not protect me from every influence and I had to and STILL have to work on my self esteem.
As someone who also cares about the way their hair looks, here are some things that have helped me take pride in and cherish my curls over the last 15 years. I hope they might work for you as well!
1. I am at my happiest when I'm able to surround myself with people who build me up and who embrace me the way I am (at least physically). Life is too short to not celebrate the skin you're in. Going forward, look for friends who do this! People like this are likely welcoming in more than one way.
2. This can apply to environments too. Sometimes when we are in environments where nothing is relatable to us, we interpret that as not being welcomed - regardless of whether it's intentional. If you can, look for and try to spend your time in environments that *feel* welcoming!
2. Representation is important. Looking at images of people who don't look like me too often makes me crave to be something I can't. For example, I'm interested in hair and clothes. So on my Instagram explore feed, I see pictures of people's hair and outfits but many of these people have similar hair types to me or similar body shapes. In ways like this, I can help shape what kind of influence I'm taking in. My Pinterest feed is also filled with curls like mine. My TikTok too has girls with girls like mine doing all sorts of styles and being happy with themselves!! Try being mindful of the content you consume and curating your social feeds to have people who look like you.
4. I also am intentional about adding friends to my network who I can talk about curly hair stuff with. It's exciting and validating to be able to share experiences and ideas, and to build each other up!
5. It may take a lot of practice if you're not used to it, but stand up for yourself. People can't know what you don't like and what you don't want if you don't tell them. The next time someone tells you something that you don't like about your hair tell them that they are making you uncomfortable. If you can't communicate this, I recommend figuring out an excuse to remove yourself from the situation. It probably isn't super healthy to continue to hear things about yourself that you don't like without any pushback. Those feelings unchecked will bubble up and fester inside you like an infected wound. Practice setting boundaries with people whether you are direct about it or not.
6. In addition to setting boundaries, find a place to expel those negative feelings about your hair whether they're from things people said or from things you have felt... I'm basically talking about stress release and, yes, how we feel about ourselves can be stressful!! There's many things you can get into, It just depends on what works best for you. I like journaling, exercise, going for a walk, and venting to someone I trust if possible.
7. Find meaning in your hair. Part of me finding value in my hair has been thinking about my ancestors who had similar hair or even curlier hair, the struggles they went through to make sure that I could be here today exactly as I am, and how they love me just as I am right now. When I think of my hair in that context, I feel proud and special... If you're religious, maybe you can tie your hair to that (for example, God made me this way and he loves his creations)...
8. One thing that has made doing my hair more fun is thinking about it like a scientific experiment where I'm less concerned with achieving perfection and more concerned with figuring out what makes my hair tick!! For example, I can try one influencer's hairstyle routine and get "x" results. Then I can try another influencer's routine and get "y" results... Or I am curious about a product or a technique and so I tweak one thing in my routine one day to see what happens... Something in my routine is creating a tiny "problem", so I can brainstorm to try to work through the logic of how to fix it! In this way I keep learning and looking forward to the next new thing to try!!
9. Also, looking at this curly journey as a journey helps so much. Taking pictures of those trials and errors and successes is fun to look back on too! And I discover my tastes change over time. Sometimes a new experiment teaches me that I want something that I didn't know I wanted! In the end, I have a story to tell about my hair that is unique to me and interesting. In the end, I'm proud of my progress. In the end, I have put so much time and care and thought into my hair that it is something that brings me stimulation and joy.
In the end, when someone tells me something disparaging about my hair (last week an acquaintance said they thought I should straighten it), I truly don't care anymore because I love my hair and that's more important to me. 🙏🏽➿➿➿
I also gotta say, I think the volume and the shape of your hair is beautiful. It's artful and it frames your face in a very fashionable way. I can see that you have a lovely curl pattern as well! Perhaps, your family does not see the beauty in your hair, but I do! And so do the other people commenting on this post!! And I promise you many more out there! 💜
Saved this to show my daughter (who absolutely loves her hair which is very similar to OP's gorgeous hair) because it's great advice for anyone about anything. You need to be a life coach or something haha
Your family must be insane.
The first thing I thought when I saw your picture was:"Damn she's cute", both the hair and the outfit are gorgeous, dont listen to them and just keep doing you. You are doing amasing!
Ok first, your family sucks, no one should make fun of you like that, never mind family. Second, have you been to a Black or Hispanic salon? Your hair looks like a texture they will have *lots* of experience with.
I love it and would swap my curls for yours any day. It does not look frizzy and has great shape. Family can be mean and I don’t understand why. It’s always non family who treat us better.
You don’t like your hair bc of your family’s reaction. We have the EXACT same type of hair(same skin tone too) and it’s my favorite physical characteristic of myself even with the grey into now. My hair has helped me embrace my aging. I grew up receiving compliments and praise from strangers. That’s the difference. Focus on your hair’s health. It’s already very beautiful. What products do you use in your hair? Satin pillowcase and no alcohol from any products esp gels are absolutes.
I didn't care for my hair. I started caring. I couldn't care for it. My hair changed to curly. I hated it for changing. But i kept going because i wanted it to look good. I started knowing how to care. I liked the results. I started loving my hair. I got upset because i didn't like it earlier. I noticed buildup. I got upset for not finding a product suitable for my hair. I asked reddit. I found a product that works for my hair. I found a product that eases my scalp pain. But my hair started turning wavy again. I liked my hair wavy, but i liked it curly. I regret not giving my curly hair love earlier while it lasted. But I have to love my currently transitioning hair and try to re-explore it. But from my experience, I can confidently say this
Every hair is beautiful. Some hair is stubborn, and some isn't. My family called my hair names. They never even cared it was healthier. They never cared if my scalp feels better. Curly is frizzy for them. They will never be satisfied. So why even care about what they say about your hair? Love your hair. Your hair is you. Not even a part of you. Give it care, and it will always be the you mood. So I can say it confidently your hair is beautiful. YOUR HAIR IS BEAUTIFUL!! It deserves love from you the same way you deserve love from the dearest to you.
It is a long journey. It can be frustrating not having support from the people around you. But when you have an exceptionally well hair day, feel free to post it here! A hair victory no matter how little is still a victory. So let's get out there and try to discover our hair. For the happiness of our hair. For our happiness. Cheers!
I hope when you're able to, you take a lot of space from your family. They are cruel. Your hair is gorgeous and as someone with very thin hair I definitely envy you!
Society and bullshit constructs have taught us to hate each other and ourselves. Your hair is beautiful!! Look at it!! It just lovely! I hope you can see it too!
I have hair like yours, hated it from age 5 to age 23. It took my very brave younger sister and my now husband to encourage me, to say they had similar struggles and overcame them for me to give it a try.
I am so glad that I did. I love my hair now and wouldn’t change it for anything. I hope you find peace.
Your hair is beautiful. Your family is mean for calling it that, especially since you're already insecure about your hair.
I hope you find a routine or hairstyle that makes you feel confident. Do you always wear it like this or do you also sometimes have twists or braids or a ponytail?
Please look into incorporating the LOC method (leave-in, oil, cream). Your super curly hair needs a TON of moisture and this the way.
For washing, section hair into 4 sections before getting in the shower. Shampoo and rinse each section twice and keep your sections clipped. Use some Cantu Leave-in Conditioning Treatment and apply a gooping amount into the first section, detangle with a wide-tooth comb, then clip up with the conditioner in. Then rinse your hair well.
To style with the LOC method, clip your hair into 4 sections. On *dripping wet hair,* start with the Cantu Leave-in conditioner and apply a good amount to each section, followed by a hair oil (like an argan oil), then a curl cream or a gel. With the leave-in and curl cream, you want to apply so much it leaves your hair white. This goes away as it dries. My son prefers a gel instead of a cream because it defines his curls more.
You should only need to wash and style once a week, but you can dampen hair daily to refresh.
Hi! I am so sorry you feel this way, your hair is NOT ugly but I understand there may be nothing I can say to convince you of that.
Do you follow any more subreddits for your hair type? r/naturalhair is a great resource and supportive community where you can see hair types like yours and people understand the challenges but also celebrate the beauty. You should ALSO follow r/bald which is fullllll of people struggling with their hair and how the world views them as a result. Check it out and you will see and believe so many unique people on a journey.
Also your family members are a bunch of dicks. They should be supporting you and making you feel beautiful, their assholery is a reflection of them NOT your hair. Your hair could be 10/10 and they would probably find a way to poke at you.
It’s soooo gorgeous!! What is your family even talking about?!? I’m sorry they’ve made you insecure. I used to hate my curly hair too, for similar reasons as you stated, but I love it now and I am complimented by strangers constantly (and always have been) and I instantly judge anyone who says “I LiKe yOuR hAiR bEtTeR StRaiGhT” ok, and I like people with good taste, bye
I'm sorry you've been made to feel this way about your hair. I think your hair is beautiful, although I know that words from a stranger may not make you feel differently about it. If I saw you on the street, I wouldn't think twice about your hair.
Are you able to go to a curly hair specialist? They may be able to help you with your styling concerns. Curly hair is definitely a struggle to maintain sometimes, you're right. I only hope that you learn to love yourself and embrace the way you were born.
I took the liberty to find some cool inspiration photos for you similar to your style. There are plenty of alt girls with tight curls like yourself. [1](https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/curly--710161434989202360/) [2](https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/551198441897040562/) [3](https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/349099408627004235/) [4](https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/dre-on-twitter--326581410488725242/) [5](https://in.pinterest.com/pin/18929260927630895/)
Hey yknow thank you :) tbh i never see gothic/punk/alt chicks with curls like mine. My instagram is flooded with straight haired white alt models. It makes me feel really insecure with my looks since I don't match the look. Seeing alt girls with hair like mine makes me a lil happier. I feel less like a freak.
I'm so glad to hear it!! representation is sooo important isn't it :")) I try not to follow too many models myself, or else I'm constantly reminding myself their photos are edited/styled/professionally dressed/airbrushed, yknow?!
Tbh when i was younger ,no one cpuld do anything about my hair cuz no one else had curky hair and even that much curly like mine. So all these years i had like "the clown wig" as you said git bullied laughed at etc. Ah..and i just let the hair get long waiting years and years so the curls could get some "weight" and "fall" . Had those long hair for like 5 years,but all i did was wear it in a bun or let it down or straighten it a couple of times cuz i didnt know i could take care of them and show how pretty they truly are. A couple of months ago i cut them like above shoulder length and got some products to style and moisturise cuz my hair was dry af and not shiny at all etc xD
So my point is you have to make a decision and try to love them,no need to get expensive products.
Needs a lot of Search to see what fits you,but thats okay too!
I have a somewhat story. My hair is thick, wavy, and, depending on the day, it can be curly. Growing up , my straight haired Mother would brush it. I’m not faulting her. She didn’t know what to do with my hair. All through out my adult years, my solution to dealing with my hair was to continue straightening it with heat. It was dry, and I was constantly fighting frizz. I’m now in my early 50s and just discovered how to embrace my hair’s texture through videos , made by much younger women, that have taught me about hair products, plopping and proper diffusing. I am thrilled with my natural hair now and my hair never looked better.
Same! I love my long curls now! When I was young, my mom kept my hair cut so short so it just looked like a little curly boy. No deep conditioner or anything. I remember my stepmother trying to curl it with a steam curling iron!!!! Ummm that didn’t work! As I got older, I let it grow and straightened it a lot. Finally embraced my natural texture and I love the freedom my curls bring! They’re not perfect but it’s not me fighting against them. Lots of women pay for a head of thick curls like these!
Hi there! I'm a bot, and I noticed you used the phrase "afro" or "fro".
You may or may not already know this, but the term “Afro” refers to a specific hairstyle created with specific techniques. The term is often mis-used, so we just want to share some of the meaning/history so everyone can choose the best words for their situation.
TL;DR: [The afro has a long and important history, including as a symbol of the Civil Rights movement](https://www.reddit.com/r/curlyhair/comments/sr4x3p/black_history_month_at_rcurlyhair/).
This may or may not apply to you, but we try to steer people away from using the Afro descriptor if you don't have Black/Afro-textured hair. It's often portrayed as a condition to fix rather than a cultural style. We hope that's not the case here, but just something to be aware of going forward!
We recognize that there are many different opinions on what can and cannot be called an afro. For the purposes of this sub and making sure we reserve space for Black folks, we ask those who don’t have afro-textured hair to choose other words. If your hair doesn't fit that description, please edit your post 1) to be more accurate, 2) to be culturally respectful, and 3) to avoid comment removal. Alternate terms to consider: puffy, poofy, fluffy, etc.
Thanks & wishing you many great curly, coily, kinky hair days!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/curlyhair) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I thought this was one of the FB ads that’s like “5 reasons why I hate my (insert thing here)” but really it’s talking about how awesome it is. Because your hair is stunning and I would absolutely kill for these curls!!! I am mixed race and have type 2c/3a hair and I always wish my hair was curlier and voluminous just like yours!! You are so lucky to have such beautiful and unique hair.
Hi there! I'm a bot, and I noticed you used the phrase "afro" or "fro".
You may or may not already know this, but the term “Afro” refers to a specific hairstyle created with specific techniques. The term is often mis-used, so we just want to share some of the meaning/history so everyone can choose the best words for their situation.
TL;DR: [The afro has a long and important history, including as a symbol of the Civil Rights movement](https://www.reddit.com/r/curlyhair/comments/sr4x3p/black_history_month_at_rcurlyhair/).
This may or may not apply to you, but we try to steer people away from using the Afro descriptor if you don't have Black/Afro-textured hair. It's often portrayed as a condition to fix rather than a cultural style. We hope that's not the case here, but just something to be aware of going forward!
We recognize that there are many different opinions on what can and cannot be called an afro. For the purposes of this sub and making sure we reserve space for Black folks, we ask those who don’t have afro-textured hair to choose other words. If your hair doesn't fit that description, please edit your post 1) to be more accurate, 2) to be culturally respectful, and 3) to avoid comment removal. Alternate terms to consider: puffy, poofy, fluffy, etc.
Thanks & wishing you many great curly, coily, kinky hair days!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/curlyhair) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I hope this helps, you are describing my childhood and early teens situation and I’m here to tell you that now, I get compliments regularly from random people on the street. Same hair!! I did learn a few tricks from YouTube and good hairdressers. Have you tried manes by Mel? Also, your routine sounds on point and in my opinion your hair looks gorgeous exactly as is. Rock those curls girl 😘
Your hair is beautiful! 🤩 I’m sorry your family is saying such terrible things. Criticism from family about your appearance can feel especially brutal. The best advice I can give you is to take the time to really get to know your hair and identify what it needs. It’s surprising how much that can help.
Hey this is the third time you’ve made this post in this subreddit along these lines, so frankly I don’t know what to tell you. Everyone has already been so nice. I think you’re being quite mean to yourself. Being that harsh and needlessly cruel to yourself for years is exhausting. It made me overly sensitive and thin-skinned. I used to get upset easily and things would hurt me a lot. I was being so cruel to myself that I didn’t have much grace left for other people. You have been mean to yourself for so long. Have you tried being nice to yourself to see what happens?
What if you saw a small girl with your hair, would you hate her hair too? Would you walk over to her and explain that she needs to start being mean to herself because her hair is ugly, it’s clown hair, and looks like hair before a makeover? Probably not, but that’s what you do to yourself. I don’t think it’s done anything good- it’s just made you insecure. Have you tried cognitive behavioral therapy?
Generally I think everyone deserves being treated with kindness and love. That’s why we’re supposed to be kind and gentle to people that we ourselves love. But sometimes people don’t grow up with a model of that. Everyone enters the world, grows up, and is the way they are because of what they were taught, or how they were treated when they were growing up. We’re all walking around with partial information, we’re pieces who only know what we learned. So your parents are doing life how their parents told them to act, and you are doing life how you were taught.
From how often you post about this, I think maybe people in your family were taught that they were supposed to be harsh to themselves and others. But that’s not really true. You deserve just as much love and compassion as anyone else in the world. You can do the “little girl” comparison and test this. Again, say there was a little girl with your [insert feature you don’t like]. Would you really tell her that the way to live is to never be nice or kind to yourself? That she should hate herself?
Hi there, I'm not sure how old you are and what you have been through. I don't by any means believe we've gone through the same experience. However, I do want to mention something. I was bullied quite often through middle school and high-school for my curly hair (I'm pale as printer paper with very dark 3c hair so it stood out), and unfortunately it led to self image issues. I always fluctuated between buzz cuts or straightening/relaxing my hair, and never tried to embrace my curls. Once I graduated from high school and went on to college, the people around me completely changed. Instead of getting made fun of for my hair, I'd get compliments instead. I went on to develop my own routine and I have gotten a haircut in nearly 5 years. I am now a Physician with shoulder-length 3c hair, and no longer the middle schooler too shy to let his hair grow beyond an inch.
Chances are, your image of yourself is affected by the people around you. You have fantastic hair and I personally think it looks awesome. Surround yourself with people who can appreciate the beauty of your hair and features, rather than people who make you feel bad about it, whether they do it directly (e.g. "your curls are ugly") or indirectly (e.g. "your hair would look nicer straightened"). Take care of your hair, and ignore negativity from people not worth wasting your emotions on.
Also a quick note as a professional male for over 20 years, when your family thinks your hair looks bad, that's how you know it looks fire. Applies to all men and I'm sure it applies to women too.
My sister and I have wavy-curly hair which we got from our father. We always grey up hearing our mother being envious of our curls. She always says that “afro hair”, or similar and locs like this are the most beautiful hairtype. She’s a kindergarden teacher and whenever someone has curly hair she will tell them how beautiful it is, how thick it is and that they should be proud of it. She has straight hair herself.
Your hair is beautiful, atleast by the standard of my entire family. I hope you find love for it, I wish your mother was a little more like mine. I’m sorry she cant see how goregous your hair is.
Hi there! I'm a bot, and I noticed you used the phrase "afro" or "fro".
You may or may not already know this, but the term “Afro” refers to a specific hairstyle created with specific techniques. The term is often mis-used, so we just want to share some of the meaning/history so everyone can choose the best words for their situation.
TL;DR: [The afro has a long and important history, including as a symbol of the Civil Rights movement](https://www.reddit.com/r/curlyhair/comments/sr4x3p/black_history_month_at_rcurlyhair/).
This may or may not apply to you, but we try to steer people away from using the Afro descriptor if you don't have Black/Afro-textured hair. It's often portrayed as a condition to fix rather than a cultural style. We hope that's not the case here, but just something to be aware of going forward!
We recognize that there are many different opinions on what can and cannot be called an afro. For the purposes of this sub and making sure we reserve space for Black folks, we ask those who don’t have afro-textured hair to choose other words. If your hair doesn't fit that description, please edit your post 1) to be more accurate, 2) to be culturally respectful, and 3) to avoid comment removal. Alternate terms to consider: puffy, poofy, fluffy, etc.
Thanks & wishing you many great curly, coily, kinky hair days!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/curlyhair) if you have any questions or concerns.*
hi :) firstly i loveeee ur hair, coming from a curly headed person myself! i love the definition the everything, and i understand that it takes time for one to start loving their hair, i did too! but maybeeee put in some layers into ur hair? maybe that'll change it up? apart from that, u could highlight or dye ur hair to further experiment w new looks and see what works for you! but your hair is beautifulllll, embrace it :)
I'm someone who thought my natural hair didn't fit me either. People saud it didn't looked "neat", "elegant", or "clean" as the girl I am. That hurt, how's the hair I was born with not supposed to fit me? Its a part of me, just as my eyes, my hands, all of my body. Assigning specific looks to a personality has to be one of the dumbest things society cane up with. You look just fine, fantastic I say.
Your hair fits, and will always fit you.
I mean this in the nicest way possible: shut the eff up, curly sister. You are effing rocking it. I feel your pain, but please revel in your beauty dammit.
I used to be the same way because growing up I was told or shown that “straight hair is the pretty hair” it wasn’t until recently I discovered what type of curls I have and then took matters into my own hands to finding out how to properly take care of it. Before I would just do whatever and not really care for it so it was always frizzy and it felt so nasty to me that I just hated it. But once I started to take better care of my curly hair. I started to feel like I loved myself in a new way that I didn’t of caring for myself and getting to know myself through my hair. So I should ask is the reason why you think your hair is ugly, is because of the way it makes you feel?
Also you might also look into different products. The shea moisture personally didn’t work for me and my hair. So try looking into other products. Is your hair oily? Or is it dry? Once you know what kind of curly hair you have then you can also figure out better hair products for curly hair. Because some products may work from some that may not work for others
I completely understand where you're coming from. I used to hate my hair for ages, whenever I go to a salon for a hair cut the hair dresser starts speaking about hair straightening options when I never even asked. So many friends make fun of my hair, call it a bush, coconut hemp, etc etc. It took a long time for me to love my hair. I hope you get there one day but don't lose hope! With the right products and maintenance curls can be so beautiful ❤️
Your hair is gorgeous! I am so sorry that people and especially your family does not see that. We see it, it is something to celebrate, not to be ashamed of.
I really wish I could take all of your negative feelings about your hair and send it all away, out of your mind 😔
My moms hispanic and has straight hair. She thinks I'm not dark enough to be considered a POC so they say i look Jewish. They don't accept me as a mixed race POC.
Your mom’s hair is actually straight? Or it’s wavy and she’s been treating it like it’s straight?
And is your dad white Jewish or something? Are you in the US?
And you’re a mixed POC. Like tf? It’s obvious to anyone looking at these pictures. Your mom sounds like an asshole.
And I personally love your hair. I’d dig in and get a rounder cut. I personally love the texture of your hair here.
I don’t understand how she’s with a half Black man and don’t like your hair… like… lol don’t get with a Black guy then?
You’re literally more POC than white. So I don’t get her hate. I don’t get why she says you’re not POC but a Jewish girl. It’s super antisemtic and racist. Like… it’s confusing.
Why don’t you get with his side and figure out how to handle your hair. Your texture seems it aligns with your Black side more. I’m sure they’re going to have tips to help you. Have you considered telling him that you don’t like the shit your mom says? Maybe he’d put her in her place? Or maybe you should. It’s incredibly racist for her to tell you you aren’t POC. And for her to make fun of your black presenting hair. Are you in the US?
But personally, your type of hair is very coveted here in the curly haired community.
Your mom sounds abusive.
Yup in the US. I've tried talking to her about it but she just doesn't get it. Thanks for the feed back btw. Tbh i struggle a lot with my racial identity. My family call my hair a "jewfro" even tho i personally don't see the resemblance. I tell them to stop it but they don't really care. My half sister (who is half black) makes these comments so much even tho her hair is similar to mine just longer :/
Oh no, they have so much volume and your curls are so tight and even across the whole mass of your hair! I'm actually envious!
Family can be so cruel, their sarcasm and insults cut deep to the bone. It becomes a dynamic where annoyance and hurt spur reactive harm and on it goes. Several commenters extolled much more in previous comments on how to bring more softness and kindness in your circle, but please heed us Reddit strangers when we say your hair is absolutely fantastic <3
I saw you mentioned it doesn't suit your style. I felt the exact same way growing up (I can't tell from your 2 photos) but I was very into the goth/punk phase growing up. Layers, straightened hair, bangs covering one eye, dye... a lot of that I wanted, but was really unhealthy/unachievable. Girls would throw staples in my hair and no one in my immediate family had my hair type so... very isolating. I looked like fucking Hagrid trying to brush it out every day.
Get with stylists that know how to work with your hair and some can teach you on how to care for it. Hair is a form of expression so don't be afraid to change it up to fit you, but to me, as it is now is very beautiful. I hope over time you will see what we all see.
Also... I know family is very blunt and some cultures might feel more comfortable expressing certain phrases/sayings, having various degrees of openess etc. But if you can't say anything *back* to them then it's just bullying. That was a hard lesson for me to learn and if there just bullying you then you might need to set harder boundaries with them if/when you can.
I know when searching and following goth/punk/alternative accounts its going to show you a lot of white women with straight hair, but maybe you might find some inspiration searching for specifics on insta or other areas online. Since it's a subculture anyone can join and I specifically have to look into Hispanic/Latin goth looks to find styles and ways to do my hair or just a general look. I know I really fucked up not going to a curly hair stylist in the beginning of my life and I know when I worked at hot topic (way back in the day) we had girls with your hair and look as employees, customers, and models. I know that vibe has changed a lot since then, but you can definitely still style your hair to this look without sacrificing your curls (should you still want to).
I have to do a lot of work now, but I've kept my goth clothing from that time period. Having curly hair in general isn't seen as "neat" or "polished", but I refuse to continiously straighten it for work. So it might always be something we have to work with, but I promise you even as it is now you look really pretty.
You and I have similar hair and I wouldn't say I feel the same degree as you feel, I also am not the biggest fan of how I look with my hair naturally. I'm sorry you feel this way, curls are great ti have in theory, but not in practice. If you do want advice, I'd suggest getting a protective hairstyle (for example I get cornrows) and keep it, it reassurez you having long curly hair has its perks, and it can give you time to reflect what you'd wanna do with your hair. I could go on, if you'd like, but you do look great with them on, even if I said I'm not a fan of it on me.
Taking care of curly hair is such a hassle. I also envy people who don’t have to worry about how their hair looks.
That being said, you are someone I would see on the street and have to do a double take to admire how beautiful their curls are. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Your family’s wrong for their negative comments and there are definitely going to be more people out there who find your hair beautiful than there are that won’t. Don’t give up on the idea that you’ll learn to love your hair one day. Just keep experimenting with products till you find what works for you and be gentle on yourself for the time being - You deserve that kindness from yourself. 🧡
I was going to use your pic for inspiration with my hairdresser before reading your title.
You got beautiful hair. The glasses you see yourself through are distorting.
This hairstyle is not dorky at all! Gives off a cool girl vibe imo. I remember early 00s "makeover" movies made everyone (including me) hate our curly hair. Glad those days are over! This look is stylish now. Plus you have thick hair and lots of volume which many women would kill for! Take it from me, being in my early 40s many of us are losing hair volume at an alarming rate. Keep rocking it!
First of all, people suck and are assholes to make fun of you. Second of all, your hair is beautiful, not ugly.
To figure out your next steps, you need to ask yourself is what YOU want in terms of length, shape, texture, routine, etc. — because while it may feel like you have no options with your natural curls, that couldn’t be further from the truth, and you need to focus on what makes you happy.
I can’t tell from your photo what type hair you have, it looks like it could be 3c to 4b but I may be wrong. Here are some inpso pics to help you get thinking.
I highly recommend, if you possibly can, that you find a stylist who is trained in tight and/or kinky curls (and ethnic hair, if that applies to you). They can do a thorough consultation with you to talk about:
• What you like and dislike about your own hair
• What you like and dislike about hairstyles of pictures you bring in (eg, I really like the length here, but not the volume)
• What cut would help you achieve the style you want, whether your desired cut will require a maintenance routine that you can keep up, and whether your desired shape can be accomplished in one sitting or if you’ll need to grow your hair a bit to make that happen
• What products and techniques would help you achieve the look you’re going for and maintain your cut (eg, let’s say you want a little extra dimension around your face — certain techniques can help you pull down those curls and reduce shrinkage for the day so that you have those visual layers)
Bottom line, there’s a LOT you can do, but you have to explore your desires and not center lies that some people tell you in your self talk and self care routines.
https://preview.redd.it/xasmqjr2yz6d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6ebdc5261049942a4e336d72d8a80f89d532fac3
I am so, so sorry that your family make fun of your hair. It is gorgeous! You deserve to feel beautiful with your natural hair, because you *are* beautiful with your natural hair. Like, your hair looks very much like Kerry Washington's natural hair, or Gabrille Union's. You cannot possibly tell me that either of them are anything but drop-dead gorgeous.
You can feel however you want but that looks awesome. Idk, I wish I could do that with my hair.
One of my inspirations on bass had wonderful hair like that for a long time.
https://youtu.be/2aRC3YY3svs?si=d4irUU2F3PPoy5is
Your hair is beautiful!!!!😍 😍😍
People can just be buttholes for no reason , including our family members. My mother uses indirect put downs regarding my curls. She says stuff like “I like your hair so much better straight”. Most times I ignore her, other times she gets a snarky remark depending on my mood.
The bigger question is how do YOU feel about your hair? That’s all that matters. Experiment with product application methods to see what you like. For instance, I tried a demand brush and hated it. It made super small curls because I didn’t remove any of the brush rows (8). Your hair is much thicker than mine so you can absolutely do things that I can only dream of.
The smaller section I make when applying product, the more curls I have. Applying sufficient heavy product and brushing with some fan shaped brush with both bristles and plastic will give me wavy hair if I leave it alone and dry completely.
Learning things like this about your hair will be a total game changer! If you love your hair, ignore them. I know it’s hard but necessary. *hugs*
Ha, my folks used to say my hair looks like a rats nest. Your hair is beautiful. When my family ever says anything now, I always respond with “well you’re not my type either” and it shuts them up.
My parents made fun of my hair too. My mom went as far as putting a relaxer in it so it could be more manageable. You are your hair dear, I hope you can heal the relationship with your hair. I used to hate my hair so much, cut it off all the time, damaged it to crap with bleach and hair color, and i realized one day that I didn’t want to look how everyone made me feel. So i started taking care of it. I wish you can have a hair journey one day. Learn your hair, care for it, style it how you wanna, color it safely if you wanna.
Curls are difficult, and tiring, but it can be a labor of love. Your hair is so important and deeply rooted to you are, soul-wise. I hope you can connect with it.
The only clown wig in this situation is whatever wig the clowns who hate on your hair are wearing. Seriously. Your hair is absolutely beautiful. It looks so full and healthy 😍
Over the years I’ve realized that a lot of the time when people hate on something about someone else, it’s secretly because they’re jealous of it. They want what you have, but they don’t naturally have it, and so they try and bully you and make you feel insecure to make themselves feel better about not having it lol.
I know I’m an internet stranger and this might not mean anything, but personally, I think your hair is gorgeous. So many people would kill to have beautiful, curly, voluminous, & healthy hair like you. Remember, they hate you bc they ain’t you lol. Please never doubt your own beauty 🩷
Side note: I absolutely love your outfit/accessories. Your personal style is 🔥
I think I could be your much, much older sister. I have close to your same hair, and I still get negative comments about my hair from my 92 year old mother. Now, instead of making me straighten it, she wants me to cut it all off. Ugh. I just can’t. Once I moved away from home and started working, I was able to experiment with different products. It is still hard to find someone who knows how to cut my hair, but a good haircut makes a huge difference. For years, Curl Keeper, and their gel, worked on my hair. Now my hair texture is changing and I am on the hunt again. I feel like I am 15 again. So, I understand what you are going through. Your hair is beautiful and so are you. Looking back, my biggest regret is listening to the haters. Back away from the haters. You are perfect just the way you are.
I know how you feel. I’ve been smoothing my hair for years (am 53 now) - my hair got curlier as I’ve got older, then from December until now (June) was trying to embrace my curls using Holy Curls products, designed specifically for curls. They definitely defined my curls like nothing before but it’s a bit of a tedious process, and actually my hair felt coarser on the one layer - my cousin told me the other week, the last time I let it curl, that I looked like a standard poodle! People started off saying my curls looked amazing but some now say they prefer it smoothed. After six months of trying, I’ve just gone back to smoothing out my hair - not poker straight but smoothed - it still has natural curls but bigger ones and there’re, shinier ones. And it feels lighter, weight-wise.
I was talking to a staff member in a local cafe-bar Saturday night who had coily hair and how they were so defined and shiny; she said after years of hating it and using expensive products, she found a mouse from Savers which works for her! I’ll have to ask her which one!
Natural curls, lots of small curls at least, really ARE hard work. Even my hairdresser who has straight hair said it. And it’s hard to change your style too.
As I don’t have a diffuser, I was letting my hair air dry which took about four hours. I didn’t invest in a diffuser as wanted to see how it turned out when hairdresser did it with one, and it looked no better but of course, it dried quicker - I just might buy a collapsible one - but even using one of those takes some time to blow dry it. Hairdresser said you don’t completely dry hair with a diffuser so I went out with a damp scalp which I didn’t like one bit but having watched online videos, they dry it properly with one. How do you dry yours?
If I need to feel better about myself (husband went off with affair partner and I don’t like how I look mostly) or if I’ve an interview, I feel more confident with my hair smoothed.
What’s your heritage? Did both or one of your parents have same hair? I’ve inherited my Dad’s small curls but wish I’d inherited my Mom’s large, shiny ones!
I know how you feel - I sometimes think I look a little bit frumpy when I have my curls, other days are better but I’m back with smoothed, big curls mostly now.
I did do something the other week, which relaxed my curls - as I wanted to blow-dry but had no diffuser - I put something which was like tee-shirt material on my head, curly folk are told to never use a regular towel, only a micro-fibre towel, and with product, it gave me curls I was happier with so will try that again. I’d stop the blow-dry about every 2-3 mins and run my fingers through to untangle and think any oils from my hand helped. I’ve also, in the past put my hair in several plaits and gently dried it until damp then unraveled it later it in the morning.
It’s a battle, I know. Really hope you find something that works well for you very soon. 🙏🏻
I'm sorry your family is making you feel more insecure. I used to brush my hair, which made it more crazy and puffy, and my dad would tell me I looked messy and needed to brush it. My mom had curly hair which she always combed, so she was no help with styling my hair. My oldest sister wore a pony tail and an unholy amount of that blue LA Look gel every day in full crunch. My middle sister straightened her hair everyday. I brushed mine and had puff everyday. As an adult, I learned how to style my hair with YouTube, Facebook, and Google. There are a ton of Facebook groups that have been helpful because I was able to find women with hair similar to mine that helped me. Manes by Mel is also helpful. She talks about different kinds of textured hair. I personally don't think your hair looks bad currently, but I think other products could define your curls better. Your hair cut looks great! The shape is wonderful!
Go where you are celebrated not tolerated.
Your hair is beautiful it sounds like you are surrounded by people who can’t relate. If it helps your mental health and until you are able to move out, by the Revair blow dryer to straighten your hair. It makes straightening your hair easier.
Your family sucks, one day you will grow up and realize how toxic they were to you and how much time you wasted hating yourself.
I meean I think your hair is very beautiful but I guess it’s all about how YOU feel about your hair. Have you tried experimenting with different hairstyles? Here is a idea I found on Pinterest <3
https://preview.redd.it/ivr3dqpxp67d1.jpeg?width=900&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2ecf0f145650b310f324d71e4a8ae1ce52c37e09
You’ve had some amazing feedback already, so I’ll second all of it!
Your hair is beautiful. Your style is just as great. Your family sucks for teasing you.
It took my daughter years to love her hair, even with all of us telling her it was beautiful. You will get there, but know that you can change it if you want.
Omg, no. Your hair is so beautiful! The only reason your family calls it clown hair is because they're jealous of your gorgeous curls, I swear! I'm so sorry they've treated you this way because you deserve better.
I love it! My girlfriend has curly hair and its one of my favorite feature of hers. I guess it's always like a grass is greener on the other side kinda thing, I like curly because I have straight hair, and maybe it feels that way with you maybe wishing your hair was straight? Either way, it's looks great I'm sure it's a ton of work, but moisturize it good post shower.
Tldr your hair is beautiful embrace it!
Breaks my heart that you feel this way. I always thought people who rocked that hair similarly to yours are absolutely beautiful. They always look like models to me! I’m sad that your family calls it a “clown wig”, it’s most definitely not. But if I had to share one message to you, it’s to accept yourself and love your natural beauty. I promise you’ll start noticing just how gorgeous it is because it is part of who you are.
Second this... You just gotta accept it. Once you do that, overtime, your image of yourself will change and you'll start to realize how pretty your hair is. It takes time... But I can't even imagine picking up a hair straightener nowadays, even though I used to straighten my hair every day. Horrifying.
ur hair is the OPPOSITE OF UGLY!!!!!! it is absolutely stunning!!! as an artist who loves drawing original characters, i have lost count of the amount of times i have given characters your EXACT hair because I find it so incredibly beautiful!!! i’m so sorry that you’re going through that :((( I hope that with time, you can learn to fully love your hair 🥺
Same! I can't get enough of this exact hair on my drawings, OP looks so cool.
Hi, love. 👋🏽 I'm so sorry you're going through this... Respectfully, your family is very rude and inconsiderate to talk to you that way. 💔 I've experienced a bit of this myself when I was growing up. I'm mixed and many of my rude family members did not have curly hair, or did not wear it curly. I was lucky to have parents and friends who buffered the negative effects of those family members and society at large by building my self-esteem up. However, that love did not protect me from every influence and I had to and STILL have to work on my self esteem. As someone who also cares about the way their hair looks, here are some things that have helped me take pride in and cherish my curls over the last 15 years. I hope they might work for you as well! 1. I am at my happiest when I'm able to surround myself with people who build me up and who embrace me the way I am (at least physically). Life is too short to not celebrate the skin you're in. Going forward, look for friends who do this! People like this are likely welcoming in more than one way. 2. This can apply to environments too. Sometimes when we are in environments where nothing is relatable to us, we interpret that as not being welcomed - regardless of whether it's intentional. If you can, look for and try to spend your time in environments that *feel* welcoming! 2. Representation is important. Looking at images of people who don't look like me too often makes me crave to be something I can't. For example, I'm interested in hair and clothes. So on my Instagram explore feed, I see pictures of people's hair and outfits but many of these people have similar hair types to me or similar body shapes. In ways like this, I can help shape what kind of influence I'm taking in. My Pinterest feed is also filled with curls like mine. My TikTok too has girls with girls like mine doing all sorts of styles and being happy with themselves!! Try being mindful of the content you consume and curating your social feeds to have people who look like you. 4. I also am intentional about adding friends to my network who I can talk about curly hair stuff with. It's exciting and validating to be able to share experiences and ideas, and to build each other up! 5. It may take a lot of practice if you're not used to it, but stand up for yourself. People can't know what you don't like and what you don't want if you don't tell them. The next time someone tells you something that you don't like about your hair tell them that they are making you uncomfortable. If you can't communicate this, I recommend figuring out an excuse to remove yourself from the situation. It probably isn't super healthy to continue to hear things about yourself that you don't like without any pushback. Those feelings unchecked will bubble up and fester inside you like an infected wound. Practice setting boundaries with people whether you are direct about it or not. 6. In addition to setting boundaries, find a place to expel those negative feelings about your hair whether they're from things people said or from things you have felt... I'm basically talking about stress release and, yes, how we feel about ourselves can be stressful!! There's many things you can get into, It just depends on what works best for you. I like journaling, exercise, going for a walk, and venting to someone I trust if possible. 7. Find meaning in your hair. Part of me finding value in my hair has been thinking about my ancestors who had similar hair or even curlier hair, the struggles they went through to make sure that I could be here today exactly as I am, and how they love me just as I am right now. When I think of my hair in that context, I feel proud and special... If you're religious, maybe you can tie your hair to that (for example, God made me this way and he loves his creations)... 8. One thing that has made doing my hair more fun is thinking about it like a scientific experiment where I'm less concerned with achieving perfection and more concerned with figuring out what makes my hair tick!! For example, I can try one influencer's hairstyle routine and get "x" results. Then I can try another influencer's routine and get "y" results... Or I am curious about a product or a technique and so I tweak one thing in my routine one day to see what happens... Something in my routine is creating a tiny "problem", so I can brainstorm to try to work through the logic of how to fix it! In this way I keep learning and looking forward to the next new thing to try!! 9. Also, looking at this curly journey as a journey helps so much. Taking pictures of those trials and errors and successes is fun to look back on too! And I discover my tastes change over time. Sometimes a new experiment teaches me that I want something that I didn't know I wanted! In the end, I have a story to tell about my hair that is unique to me and interesting. In the end, I'm proud of my progress. In the end, I have put so much time and care and thought into my hair that it is something that brings me stimulation and joy. In the end, when someone tells me something disparaging about my hair (last week an acquaintance said they thought I should straighten it), I truly don't care anymore because I love my hair and that's more important to me. 🙏🏽➿➿➿ I also gotta say, I think the volume and the shape of your hair is beautiful. It's artful and it frames your face in a very fashionable way. I can see that you have a lovely curl pattern as well! Perhaps, your family does not see the beauty in your hair, but I do! And so do the other people commenting on this post!! And I promise you many more out there! 💜
This is so beautiful 🥹😭
Saved this to show my daughter (who absolutely loves her hair which is very similar to OP's gorgeous hair) because it's great advice for anyone about anything. You need to be a life coach or something haha
Honey, your family is the problem here, not your gorgeous curls.
Your family must be insane. The first thing I thought when I saw your picture was:"Damn she's cute", both the hair and the outfit are gorgeous, dont listen to them and just keep doing you. You are doing amasing!
[удалено]
🙌🙏💗
I don't
It’s absolutely beautiful!! Embrace it, it’s part of YOU! And you’re unique. It might take some time but you’ll learn to love it
Ok first, your family sucks, no one should make fun of you like that, never mind family. Second, have you been to a Black or Hispanic salon? Your hair looks like a texture they will have *lots* of experience with.
Never been to a salon at all
Definitely something to try! A pro with a lot of experience with your hair type can definitely give you some advice and good pointers.
I love it and would swap my curls for yours any day. It does not look frizzy and has great shape. Family can be mean and I don’t understand why. It’s always non family who treat us better.
You don’t like your hair bc of your family’s reaction. We have the EXACT same type of hair(same skin tone too) and it’s my favorite physical characteristic of myself even with the grey into now. My hair has helped me embrace my aging. I grew up receiving compliments and praise from strangers. That’s the difference. Focus on your hair’s health. It’s already very beautiful. What products do you use in your hair? Satin pillowcase and no alcohol from any products esp gels are absolutes.
Sorry you’re feeling this way.
I didn't care for my hair. I started caring. I couldn't care for it. My hair changed to curly. I hated it for changing. But i kept going because i wanted it to look good. I started knowing how to care. I liked the results. I started loving my hair. I got upset because i didn't like it earlier. I noticed buildup. I got upset for not finding a product suitable for my hair. I asked reddit. I found a product that works for my hair. I found a product that eases my scalp pain. But my hair started turning wavy again. I liked my hair wavy, but i liked it curly. I regret not giving my curly hair love earlier while it lasted. But I have to love my currently transitioning hair and try to re-explore it. But from my experience, I can confidently say this Every hair is beautiful. Some hair is stubborn, and some isn't. My family called my hair names. They never even cared it was healthier. They never cared if my scalp feels better. Curly is frizzy for them. They will never be satisfied. So why even care about what they say about your hair? Love your hair. Your hair is you. Not even a part of you. Give it care, and it will always be the you mood. So I can say it confidently your hair is beautiful. YOUR HAIR IS BEAUTIFUL!! It deserves love from you the same way you deserve love from the dearest to you. It is a long journey. It can be frustrating not having support from the people around you. But when you have an exceptionally well hair day, feel free to post it here! A hair victory no matter how little is still a victory. So let's get out there and try to discover our hair. For the happiness of our hair. For our happiness. Cheers!
I hope when you're able to, you take a lot of space from your family. They are cruel. Your hair is gorgeous and as someone with very thin hair I definitely envy you!
Society and bullshit constructs have taught us to hate each other and ourselves. Your hair is beautiful!! Look at it!! It just lovely! I hope you can see it too!
I have hair like yours, hated it from age 5 to age 23. It took my very brave younger sister and my now husband to encourage me, to say they had similar struggles and overcame them for me to give it a try. I am so glad that I did. I love my hair now and wouldn’t change it for anything. I hope you find peace.
Your hair is beautiful. Your family is mean for calling it that, especially since you're already insecure about your hair. I hope you find a routine or hairstyle that makes you feel confident. Do you always wear it like this or do you also sometimes have twists or braids or a ponytail?
I usually wear it out. My head is sensitive so tying it up gives me headaches.
Please look into incorporating the LOC method (leave-in, oil, cream). Your super curly hair needs a TON of moisture and this the way. For washing, section hair into 4 sections before getting in the shower. Shampoo and rinse each section twice and keep your sections clipped. Use some Cantu Leave-in Conditioning Treatment and apply a gooping amount into the first section, detangle with a wide-tooth comb, then clip up with the conditioner in. Then rinse your hair well. To style with the LOC method, clip your hair into 4 sections. On *dripping wet hair,* start with the Cantu Leave-in conditioner and apply a good amount to each section, followed by a hair oil (like an argan oil), then a curl cream or a gel. With the leave-in and curl cream, you want to apply so much it leaves your hair white. This goes away as it dries. My son prefers a gel instead of a cream because it defines his curls more. You should only need to wash and style once a week, but you can dampen hair daily to refresh.
For what it’s worth I think you have beautiful curls!
Hi! I am so sorry you feel this way, your hair is NOT ugly but I understand there may be nothing I can say to convince you of that. Do you follow any more subreddits for your hair type? r/naturalhair is a great resource and supportive community where you can see hair types like yours and people understand the challenges but also celebrate the beauty. You should ALSO follow r/bald which is fullllll of people struggling with their hair and how the world views them as a result. Check it out and you will see and believe so many unique people on a journey. Also your family members are a bunch of dicks. They should be supporting you and making you feel beautiful, their assholery is a reflection of them NOT your hair. Your hair could be 10/10 and they would probably find a way to poke at you.
It’s soooo gorgeous!! What is your family even talking about?!? I’m sorry they’ve made you insecure. I used to hate my curly hair too, for similar reasons as you stated, but I love it now and I am complimented by strangers constantly (and always have been) and I instantly judge anyone who says “I LiKe yOuR hAiR bEtTeR StRaiGhT” ok, and I like people with good taste, bye
I'm sorry you've been made to feel this way about your hair. I think your hair is beautiful, although I know that words from a stranger may not make you feel differently about it. If I saw you on the street, I wouldn't think twice about your hair. Are you able to go to a curly hair specialist? They may be able to help you with your styling concerns. Curly hair is definitely a struggle to maintain sometimes, you're right. I only hope that you learn to love yourself and embrace the way you were born. I took the liberty to find some cool inspiration photos for you similar to your style. There are plenty of alt girls with tight curls like yourself. [1](https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/curly--710161434989202360/) [2](https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/551198441897040562/) [3](https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/349099408627004235/) [4](https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/dre-on-twitter--326581410488725242/) [5](https://in.pinterest.com/pin/18929260927630895/)
Hey yknow thank you :) tbh i never see gothic/punk/alt chicks with curls like mine. My instagram is flooded with straight haired white alt models. It makes me feel really insecure with my looks since I don't match the look. Seeing alt girls with hair like mine makes me a lil happier. I feel less like a freak.
I'm so glad to hear it!! representation is sooo important isn't it :")) I try not to follow too many models myself, or else I'm constantly reminding myself their photos are edited/styled/professionally dressed/airbrushed, yknow?!
Tbh when i was younger ,no one cpuld do anything about my hair cuz no one else had curky hair and even that much curly like mine. So all these years i had like "the clown wig" as you said git bullied laughed at etc. Ah..and i just let the hair get long waiting years and years so the curls could get some "weight" and "fall" . Had those long hair for like 5 years,but all i did was wear it in a bun or let it down or straighten it a couple of times cuz i didnt know i could take care of them and show how pretty they truly are. A couple of months ago i cut them like above shoulder length and got some products to style and moisturise cuz my hair was dry af and not shiny at all etc xD So my point is you have to make a decision and try to love them,no need to get expensive products. Needs a lot of Search to see what fits you,but thats okay too!
I have a somewhat story. My hair is thick, wavy, and, depending on the day, it can be curly. Growing up , my straight haired Mother would brush it. I’m not faulting her. She didn’t know what to do with my hair. All through out my adult years, my solution to dealing with my hair was to continue straightening it with heat. It was dry, and I was constantly fighting frizz. I’m now in my early 50s and just discovered how to embrace my hair’s texture through videos , made by much younger women, that have taught me about hair products, plopping and proper diffusing. I am thrilled with my natural hair now and my hair never looked better.
Same! I love my long curls now! When I was young, my mom kept my hair cut so short so it just looked like a little curly boy. No deep conditioner or anything. I remember my stepmother trying to curl it with a steam curling iron!!!! Ummm that didn’t work! As I got older, I let it grow and straightened it a lot. Finally embraced my natural texture and I love the freedom my curls bring! They’re not perfect but it’s not me fighting against them. Lots of women pay for a head of thick curls like these!
Hi there! I'm a bot, and I noticed you used the phrase "afro" or "fro". You may or may not already know this, but the term “Afro” refers to a specific hairstyle created with specific techniques. The term is often mis-used, so we just want to share some of the meaning/history so everyone can choose the best words for their situation. TL;DR: [The afro has a long and important history, including as a symbol of the Civil Rights movement](https://www.reddit.com/r/curlyhair/comments/sr4x3p/black_history_month_at_rcurlyhair/). This may or may not apply to you, but we try to steer people away from using the Afro descriptor if you don't have Black/Afro-textured hair. It's often portrayed as a condition to fix rather than a cultural style. We hope that's not the case here, but just something to be aware of going forward! We recognize that there are many different opinions on what can and cannot be called an afro. For the purposes of this sub and making sure we reserve space for Black folks, we ask those who don’t have afro-textured hair to choose other words. If your hair doesn't fit that description, please edit your post 1) to be more accurate, 2) to be culturally respectful, and 3) to avoid comment removal. Alternate terms to consider: puffy, poofy, fluffy, etc. Thanks & wishing you many great curly, coily, kinky hair days! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/curlyhair) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I thought this was one of the FB ads that’s like “5 reasons why I hate my (insert thing here)” but really it’s talking about how awesome it is. Because your hair is stunning and I would absolutely kill for these curls!!! I am mixed race and have type 2c/3a hair and I always wish my hair was curlier and voluminous just like yours!! You are so lucky to have such beautiful and unique hair.
Hi there! I'm a bot, and I noticed you used the phrase "afro" or "fro". You may or may not already know this, but the term “Afro” refers to a specific hairstyle created with specific techniques. The term is often mis-used, so we just want to share some of the meaning/history so everyone can choose the best words for their situation. TL;DR: [The afro has a long and important history, including as a symbol of the Civil Rights movement](https://www.reddit.com/r/curlyhair/comments/sr4x3p/black_history_month_at_rcurlyhair/). This may or may not apply to you, but we try to steer people away from using the Afro descriptor if you don't have Black/Afro-textured hair. It's often portrayed as a condition to fix rather than a cultural style. We hope that's not the case here, but just something to be aware of going forward! We recognize that there are many different opinions on what can and cannot be called an afro. For the purposes of this sub and making sure we reserve space for Black folks, we ask those who don’t have afro-textured hair to choose other words. If your hair doesn't fit that description, please edit your post 1) to be more accurate, 2) to be culturally respectful, and 3) to avoid comment removal. Alternate terms to consider: puffy, poofy, fluffy, etc. Thanks & wishing you many great curly, coily, kinky hair days! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/curlyhair) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I have spent years trying to get my curls to look like yours!
I hope this helps, you are describing my childhood and early teens situation and I’m here to tell you that now, I get compliments regularly from random people on the street. Same hair!! I did learn a few tricks from YouTube and good hairdressers. Have you tried manes by Mel? Also, your routine sounds on point and in my opinion your hair looks gorgeous exactly as is. Rock those curls girl 😘
Nope! It's gorgeous.
Girl try to learn how to love yourself more and be more confident with your body, face, hair, color skin, etc. You will live a happy life
Looks like my hair. And my hair is AWESOME! can't be ugly.
You. Are. Stunning. You hair is absolutely spectacular
Just had a tequila tasting hosted by a woman with hair like yours. She was mad gorgeous. You needn't feel this way.
Just sending you a big, big hug! ❤️ You are so beautiful and your hair is stunning! What would you change about it if you could?
I wish it was less thick and frizzy.
Your hair is beautiful! 🤩 I’m sorry your family is saying such terrible things. Criticism from family about your appearance can feel especially brutal. The best advice I can give you is to take the time to really get to know your hair and identify what it needs. It’s surprising how much that can help.
Hey this is the third time you’ve made this post in this subreddit along these lines, so frankly I don’t know what to tell you. Everyone has already been so nice. I think you’re being quite mean to yourself. Being that harsh and needlessly cruel to yourself for years is exhausting. It made me overly sensitive and thin-skinned. I used to get upset easily and things would hurt me a lot. I was being so cruel to myself that I didn’t have much grace left for other people. You have been mean to yourself for so long. Have you tried being nice to yourself to see what happens? What if you saw a small girl with your hair, would you hate her hair too? Would you walk over to her and explain that she needs to start being mean to herself because her hair is ugly, it’s clown hair, and looks like hair before a makeover? Probably not, but that’s what you do to yourself. I don’t think it’s done anything good- it’s just made you insecure. Have you tried cognitive behavioral therapy?
Why would I be nice to myself?
Generally I think everyone deserves being treated with kindness and love. That’s why we’re supposed to be kind and gentle to people that we ourselves love. But sometimes people don’t grow up with a model of that. Everyone enters the world, grows up, and is the way they are because of what they were taught, or how they were treated when they were growing up. We’re all walking around with partial information, we’re pieces who only know what we learned. So your parents are doing life how their parents told them to act, and you are doing life how you were taught. From how often you post about this, I think maybe people in your family were taught that they were supposed to be harsh to themselves and others. But that’s not really true. You deserve just as much love and compassion as anyone else in the world. You can do the “little girl” comparison and test this. Again, say there was a little girl with your [insert feature you don’t like]. Would you really tell her that the way to live is to never be nice or kind to yourself? That she should hate herself?
I knew the post sounded familiar, lol. Welp, I made my lengthy, kind remarks last time; this time I’m just shaking my head.
Hi there, I'm not sure how old you are and what you have been through. I don't by any means believe we've gone through the same experience. However, I do want to mention something. I was bullied quite often through middle school and high-school for my curly hair (I'm pale as printer paper with very dark 3c hair so it stood out), and unfortunately it led to self image issues. I always fluctuated between buzz cuts or straightening/relaxing my hair, and never tried to embrace my curls. Once I graduated from high school and went on to college, the people around me completely changed. Instead of getting made fun of for my hair, I'd get compliments instead. I went on to develop my own routine and I have gotten a haircut in nearly 5 years. I am now a Physician with shoulder-length 3c hair, and no longer the middle schooler too shy to let his hair grow beyond an inch. Chances are, your image of yourself is affected by the people around you. You have fantastic hair and I personally think it looks awesome. Surround yourself with people who can appreciate the beauty of your hair and features, rather than people who make you feel bad about it, whether they do it directly (e.g. "your curls are ugly") or indirectly (e.g. "your hair would look nicer straightened"). Take care of your hair, and ignore negativity from people not worth wasting your emotions on. Also a quick note as a professional male for over 20 years, when your family thinks your hair looks bad, that's how you know it looks fire. Applies to all men and I'm sure it applies to women too.
I think your hair is beautiful!
Do some googling on alopecia and that might help you see the beauty you possess 😉😘
Your hair is gorgeous. There is nothing awful about it. I’m sorry those around you have made you feel bad about it.
I think it might be your face Looks red and swollen
I wish I had your hair! Maybe try adding a leave in conditioner to your routine?
It's not ugly, you just need to hydrate it and learn to style it!
My sister and I have wavy-curly hair which we got from our father. We always grey up hearing our mother being envious of our curls. She always says that “afro hair”, or similar and locs like this are the most beautiful hairtype. She’s a kindergarden teacher and whenever someone has curly hair she will tell them how beautiful it is, how thick it is and that they should be proud of it. She has straight hair herself. Your hair is beautiful, atleast by the standard of my entire family. I hope you find love for it, I wish your mother was a little more like mine. I’m sorry she cant see how goregous your hair is.
Hi there! I'm a bot, and I noticed you used the phrase "afro" or "fro". You may or may not already know this, but the term “Afro” refers to a specific hairstyle created with specific techniques. The term is often mis-used, so we just want to share some of the meaning/history so everyone can choose the best words for their situation. TL;DR: [The afro has a long and important history, including as a symbol of the Civil Rights movement](https://www.reddit.com/r/curlyhair/comments/sr4x3p/black_history_month_at_rcurlyhair/). This may or may not apply to you, but we try to steer people away from using the Afro descriptor if you don't have Black/Afro-textured hair. It's often portrayed as a condition to fix rather than a cultural style. We hope that's not the case here, but just something to be aware of going forward! We recognize that there are many different opinions on what can and cannot be called an afro. For the purposes of this sub and making sure we reserve space for Black folks, we ask those who don’t have afro-textured hair to choose other words. If your hair doesn't fit that description, please edit your post 1) to be more accurate, 2) to be culturally respectful, and 3) to avoid comment removal. Alternate terms to consider: puffy, poofy, fluffy, etc. Thanks & wishing you many great curly, coily, kinky hair days! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/curlyhair) if you have any questions or concerns.*
your family is really mean. your hair is so gorgeous
Wrong. 🤌
hi :) firstly i loveeee ur hair, coming from a curly headed person myself! i love the definition the everything, and i understand that it takes time for one to start loving their hair, i did too! but maybeeee put in some layers into ur hair? maybe that'll change it up? apart from that, u could highlight or dye ur hair to further experiment w new looks and see what works for you! but your hair is beautifulllll, embrace it :)
I'm sorry. the love has to come from you though.
I'm someone who thought my natural hair didn't fit me either. People saud it didn't looked "neat", "elegant", or "clean" as the girl I am. That hurt, how's the hair I was born with not supposed to fit me? Its a part of me, just as my eyes, my hands, all of my body. Assigning specific looks to a personality has to be one of the dumbest things society cane up with. You look just fine, fantastic I say. Your hair fits, and will always fit you.
I mean this in the nicest way possible: shut the eff up, curly sister. You are effing rocking it. I feel your pain, but please revel in your beauty dammit.
I used to be the same way because growing up I was told or shown that “straight hair is the pretty hair” it wasn’t until recently I discovered what type of curls I have and then took matters into my own hands to finding out how to properly take care of it. Before I would just do whatever and not really care for it so it was always frizzy and it felt so nasty to me that I just hated it. But once I started to take better care of my curly hair. I started to feel like I loved myself in a new way that I didn’t of caring for myself and getting to know myself through my hair. So I should ask is the reason why you think your hair is ugly, is because of the way it makes you feel?
Also you might also look into different products. The shea moisture personally didn’t work for me and my hair. So try looking into other products. Is your hair oily? Or is it dry? Once you know what kind of curly hair you have then you can also figure out better hair products for curly hair. Because some products may work from some that may not work for others
I completely understand where you're coming from. I used to hate my hair for ages, whenever I go to a salon for a hair cut the hair dresser starts speaking about hair straightening options when I never even asked. So many friends make fun of my hair, call it a bush, coconut hemp, etc etc. It took a long time for me to love my hair. I hope you get there one day but don't lose hope! With the right products and maintenance curls can be so beautiful ❤️
Oh I’m so sorry your family says that! They’re wrong by the way. if it helps I think it looks gorgeous and you seem really cool
Girl bye I love your curly thick hair, I used to hate mine too… because I was insecure! You’re beautiful 😍
Your hair is what I aspire to but I'll never have that volume.
It’s beautiful people with straight thin hair would love to have those curls!
That looks exactly like the hair I always wished I had 😁
Your hair is gorgeous! I am so sorry that people and especially your family does not see that. We see it, it is something to celebrate, not to be ashamed of. I really wish I could take all of your negative feelings about your hair and send it all away, out of your mind 😔
… that makes me sad. Are your family not POC?
My moms hispanic and has straight hair. She thinks I'm not dark enough to be considered a POC so they say i look Jewish. They don't accept me as a mixed race POC.
Your mom’s hair is actually straight? Or it’s wavy and she’s been treating it like it’s straight? And is your dad white Jewish or something? Are you in the US? And you’re a mixed POC. Like tf? It’s obvious to anyone looking at these pictures. Your mom sounds like an asshole. And I personally love your hair. I’d dig in and get a rounder cut. I personally love the texture of your hair here.
My mom has pin straight hair. My father is half black half white.
I don’t understand how she’s with a half Black man and don’t like your hair… like… lol don’t get with a Black guy then? You’re literally more POC than white. So I don’t get her hate. I don’t get why she says you’re not POC but a Jewish girl. It’s super antisemtic and racist. Like… it’s confusing. Why don’t you get with his side and figure out how to handle your hair. Your texture seems it aligns with your Black side more. I’m sure they’re going to have tips to help you. Have you considered telling him that you don’t like the shit your mom says? Maybe he’d put her in her place? Or maybe you should. It’s incredibly racist for her to tell you you aren’t POC. And for her to make fun of your black presenting hair. Are you in the US? But personally, your type of hair is very coveted here in the curly haired community. Your mom sounds abusive.
Yup in the US. I've tried talking to her about it but she just doesn't get it. Thanks for the feed back btw. Tbh i struggle a lot with my racial identity. My family call my hair a "jewfro" even tho i personally don't see the resemblance. I tell them to stop it but they don't really care. My half sister (who is half black) makes these comments so much even tho her hair is similar to mine just longer :/
Are you part Jewish? Otherwise I don’t get why they’d say it?
I am not
Yikes.
I think they just say it cuz im light skinned and consider me white
Oh no, they have so much volume and your curls are so tight and even across the whole mass of your hair! I'm actually envious! Family can be so cruel, their sarcasm and insults cut deep to the bone. It becomes a dynamic where annoyance and hurt spur reactive harm and on it goes. Several commenters extolled much more in previous comments on how to bring more softness and kindness in your circle, but please heed us Reddit strangers when we say your hair is absolutely fantastic <3
I saw you mentioned it doesn't suit your style. I felt the exact same way growing up (I can't tell from your 2 photos) but I was very into the goth/punk phase growing up. Layers, straightened hair, bangs covering one eye, dye... a lot of that I wanted, but was really unhealthy/unachievable. Girls would throw staples in my hair and no one in my immediate family had my hair type so... very isolating. I looked like fucking Hagrid trying to brush it out every day. Get with stylists that know how to work with your hair and some can teach you on how to care for it. Hair is a form of expression so don't be afraid to change it up to fit you, but to me, as it is now is very beautiful. I hope over time you will see what we all see. Also... I know family is very blunt and some cultures might feel more comfortable expressing certain phrases/sayings, having various degrees of openess etc. But if you can't say anything *back* to them then it's just bullying. That was a hard lesson for me to learn and if there just bullying you then you might need to set harder boundaries with them if/when you can.
Well I'm gothic/punk and I feel like my hair doesnt mesh well with my outfits.
I know when searching and following goth/punk/alternative accounts its going to show you a lot of white women with straight hair, but maybe you might find some inspiration searching for specifics on insta or other areas online. Since it's a subculture anyone can join and I specifically have to look into Hispanic/Latin goth looks to find styles and ways to do my hair or just a general look. I know I really fucked up not going to a curly hair stylist in the beginning of my life and I know when I worked at hot topic (way back in the day) we had girls with your hair and look as employees, customers, and models. I know that vibe has changed a lot since then, but you can definitely still style your hair to this look without sacrificing your curls (should you still want to). I have to do a lot of work now, but I've kept my goth clothing from that time period. Having curly hair in general isn't seen as "neat" or "polished", but I refuse to continiously straighten it for work. So it might always be something we have to work with, but I promise you even as it is now you look really pretty.
You and I have similar hair and I wouldn't say I feel the same degree as you feel, I also am not the biggest fan of how I look with my hair naturally. I'm sorry you feel this way, curls are great ti have in theory, but not in practice. If you do want advice, I'd suggest getting a protective hairstyle (for example I get cornrows) and keep it, it reassurez you having long curly hair has its perks, and it can give you time to reflect what you'd wanna do with your hair. I could go on, if you'd like, but you do look great with them on, even if I said I'm not a fan of it on me.
But...but....your hair looks so good and matches your outfit so much
DREAM HAIR!
Better than mine by a mile
It's not ugly. If yours is ugly then mine is ugly too. Impossible. Your family is cray.
You're hair looks amazing in my opinion. Don't listen to the negativity at all!!
It's not tho :(
It’s definitely not ugly. You are very fortunate to have thick, luscious hair. ☺️
I’m sorry you feel that way
Love it....rock it out
That's the hair I dreamed of having when I was young. It's beautiful! I'm old now and I'm still jealous!
Taking care of curly hair is such a hassle. I also envy people who don’t have to worry about how their hair looks. That being said, you are someone I would see on the street and have to do a double take to admire how beautiful their curls are. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Your family’s wrong for their negative comments and there are definitely going to be more people out there who find your hair beautiful than there are that won’t. Don’t give up on the idea that you’ll learn to love your hair one day. Just keep experimenting with products till you find what works for you and be gentle on yourself for the time being - You deserve that kindness from yourself. 🧡
There are many people that will do just about ANYTHING to have your curls!! Are you serious? That’s so sad and unfortunate coming from your family
No!!! They are haters! Your hair is stunning for real 💕 maybe try to look up some styles or follow some curly hair instagrams that have good inspo!
I was going to use your pic for inspiration with my hairdresser before reading your title. You got beautiful hair. The glasses you see yourself through are distorting.
Ur trippin!
No! Your hair is beautiful
This hairstyle is not dorky at all! Gives off a cool girl vibe imo. I remember early 00s "makeover" movies made everyone (including me) hate our curly hair. Glad those days are over! This look is stylish now. Plus you have thick hair and lots of volume which many women would kill for! Take it from me, being in my early 40s many of us are losing hair volume at an alarming rate. Keep rocking it!
First of all, people suck and are assholes to make fun of you. Second of all, your hair is beautiful, not ugly. To figure out your next steps, you need to ask yourself is what YOU want in terms of length, shape, texture, routine, etc. — because while it may feel like you have no options with your natural curls, that couldn’t be further from the truth, and you need to focus on what makes you happy. I can’t tell from your photo what type hair you have, it looks like it could be 3c to 4b but I may be wrong. Here are some inpso pics to help you get thinking. I highly recommend, if you possibly can, that you find a stylist who is trained in tight and/or kinky curls (and ethnic hair, if that applies to you). They can do a thorough consultation with you to talk about: • What you like and dislike about your own hair • What you like and dislike about hairstyles of pictures you bring in (eg, I really like the length here, but not the volume) • What cut would help you achieve the style you want, whether your desired cut will require a maintenance routine that you can keep up, and whether your desired shape can be accomplished in one sitting or if you’ll need to grow your hair a bit to make that happen • What products and techniques would help you achieve the look you’re going for and maintain your cut (eg, let’s say you want a little extra dimension around your face — certain techniques can help you pull down those curls and reduce shrinkage for the day so that you have those visual layers) Bottom line, there’s a LOT you can do, but you have to explore your desires and not center lies that some people tell you in your self talk and self care routines. https://preview.redd.it/xasmqjr2yz6d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6ebdc5261049942a4e336d72d8a80f89d532fac3
I think it is not
I love it. Sorry you feel that way and that your family is feeding your insecurities.
I am so, so sorry that your family make fun of your hair. It is gorgeous! You deserve to feel beautiful with your natural hair, because you *are* beautiful with your natural hair. Like, your hair looks very much like Kerry Washington's natural hair, or Gabrille Union's. You cannot possibly tell me that either of them are anything but drop-dead gorgeous.
You can feel however you want but that looks awesome. Idk, I wish I could do that with my hair. One of my inspirations on bass had wonderful hair like that for a long time. https://youtu.be/2aRC3YY3svs?si=d4irUU2F3PPoy5is
Your hair is beautiful!!!!😍 😍😍 People can just be buttholes for no reason , including our family members. My mother uses indirect put downs regarding my curls. She says stuff like “I like your hair so much better straight”. Most times I ignore her, other times she gets a snarky remark depending on my mood. The bigger question is how do YOU feel about your hair? That’s all that matters. Experiment with product application methods to see what you like. For instance, I tried a demand brush and hated it. It made super small curls because I didn’t remove any of the brush rows (8). Your hair is much thicker than mine so you can absolutely do things that I can only dream of. The smaller section I make when applying product, the more curls I have. Applying sufficient heavy product and brushing with some fan shaped brush with both bristles and plastic will give me wavy hair if I leave it alone and dry completely. Learning things like this about your hair will be a total game changer! If you love your hair, ignore them. I know it’s hard but necessary. *hugs*
Ha, my folks used to say my hair looks like a rats nest. Your hair is beautiful. When my family ever says anything now, I always respond with “well you’re not my type either” and it shuts them up.
I'm so sorry your family is saying those things. Your hair is so beautiful
I think your hair looks cool :)
Respectfully, I think you’re wrong. Your hair is beautiful.
I’ve always wanted hair like yours
Its not its beautiful
Geez, look at that VOLUME! So envious...don't listen to your family being rude and disrespectful - deep down they're probably envious, too!
truth be told i wish i had your hair bc i lowkey don’t like mine 😭
My parents made fun of my hair too. My mom went as far as putting a relaxer in it so it could be more manageable. You are your hair dear, I hope you can heal the relationship with your hair. I used to hate my hair so much, cut it off all the time, damaged it to crap with bleach and hair color, and i realized one day that I didn’t want to look how everyone made me feel. So i started taking care of it. I wish you can have a hair journey one day. Learn your hair, care for it, style it how you wanna, color it safely if you wanna. Curls are difficult, and tiring, but it can be a labor of love. Your hair is so important and deeply rooted to you are, soul-wise. I hope you can connect with it.
The only clown wig in this situation is whatever wig the clowns who hate on your hair are wearing. Seriously. Your hair is absolutely beautiful. It looks so full and healthy 😍 Over the years I’ve realized that a lot of the time when people hate on something about someone else, it’s secretly because they’re jealous of it. They want what you have, but they don’t naturally have it, and so they try and bully you and make you feel insecure to make themselves feel better about not having it lol. I know I’m an internet stranger and this might not mean anything, but personally, I think your hair is gorgeous. So many people would kill to have beautiful, curly, voluminous, & healthy hair like you. Remember, they hate you bc they ain’t you lol. Please never doubt your own beauty 🩷 Side note: I absolutely love your outfit/accessories. Your personal style is 🔥
I’m a bit confused because this is a very common hair style and length for your curl type and it always looks good.
I think I could be your much, much older sister. I have close to your same hair, and I still get negative comments about my hair from my 92 year old mother. Now, instead of making me straighten it, she wants me to cut it all off. Ugh. I just can’t. Once I moved away from home and started working, I was able to experiment with different products. It is still hard to find someone who knows how to cut my hair, but a good haircut makes a huge difference. For years, Curl Keeper, and their gel, worked on my hair. Now my hair texture is changing and I am on the hunt again. I feel like I am 15 again. So, I understand what you are going through. Your hair is beautiful and so are you. Looking back, my biggest regret is listening to the haters. Back away from the haters. You are perfect just the way you are.
i’d do anything to have ur curl pattern.
Your hair is magnificent!
I know how you feel. I’ve been smoothing my hair for years (am 53 now) - my hair got curlier as I’ve got older, then from December until now (June) was trying to embrace my curls using Holy Curls products, designed specifically for curls. They definitely defined my curls like nothing before but it’s a bit of a tedious process, and actually my hair felt coarser on the one layer - my cousin told me the other week, the last time I let it curl, that I looked like a standard poodle! People started off saying my curls looked amazing but some now say they prefer it smoothed. After six months of trying, I’ve just gone back to smoothing out my hair - not poker straight but smoothed - it still has natural curls but bigger ones and there’re, shinier ones. And it feels lighter, weight-wise. I was talking to a staff member in a local cafe-bar Saturday night who had coily hair and how they were so defined and shiny; she said after years of hating it and using expensive products, she found a mouse from Savers which works for her! I’ll have to ask her which one! Natural curls, lots of small curls at least, really ARE hard work. Even my hairdresser who has straight hair said it. And it’s hard to change your style too. As I don’t have a diffuser, I was letting my hair air dry which took about four hours. I didn’t invest in a diffuser as wanted to see how it turned out when hairdresser did it with one, and it looked no better but of course, it dried quicker - I just might buy a collapsible one - but even using one of those takes some time to blow dry it. Hairdresser said you don’t completely dry hair with a diffuser so I went out with a damp scalp which I didn’t like one bit but having watched online videos, they dry it properly with one. How do you dry yours? If I need to feel better about myself (husband went off with affair partner and I don’t like how I look mostly) or if I’ve an interview, I feel more confident with my hair smoothed. What’s your heritage? Did both or one of your parents have same hair? I’ve inherited my Dad’s small curls but wish I’d inherited my Mom’s large, shiny ones! I know how you feel - I sometimes think I look a little bit frumpy when I have my curls, other days are better but I’m back with smoothed, big curls mostly now. I did do something the other week, which relaxed my curls - as I wanted to blow-dry but had no diffuser - I put something which was like tee-shirt material on my head, curly folk are told to never use a regular towel, only a micro-fibre towel, and with product, it gave me curls I was happier with so will try that again. I’d stop the blow-dry about every 2-3 mins and run my fingers through to untangle and think any oils from my hand helped. I’ve also, in the past put my hair in several plaits and gently dried it until damp then unraveled it later it in the morning. It’s a battle, I know. Really hope you find something that works well for you very soon. 🙏🏻
Ma’am you spelled “gorgeous” wrong
I'm sorry your family is making you feel more insecure. I used to brush my hair, which made it more crazy and puffy, and my dad would tell me I looked messy and needed to brush it. My mom had curly hair which she always combed, so she was no help with styling my hair. My oldest sister wore a pony tail and an unholy amount of that blue LA Look gel every day in full crunch. My middle sister straightened her hair everyday. I brushed mine and had puff everyday. As an adult, I learned how to style my hair with YouTube, Facebook, and Google. There are a ton of Facebook groups that have been helpful because I was able to find women with hair similar to mine that helped me. Manes by Mel is also helpful. She talks about different kinds of textured hair. I personally don't think your hair looks bad currently, but I think other products could define your curls better. Your hair cut looks great! The shape is wonderful!
Go where you are celebrated not tolerated. Your hair is beautiful it sounds like you are surrounded by people who can’t relate. If it helps your mental health and until you are able to move out, by the Revair blow dryer to straighten your hair. It makes straightening your hair easier. Your family sucks, one day you will grow up and realize how toxic they were to you and how much time you wasted hating yourself.
Love your hair it’s beautiful
OMGGGGG I love your curl pattern! Great shape and looks sooooo cute!
I meean I think your hair is very beautiful but I guess it’s all about how YOU feel about your hair. Have you tried experimenting with different hairstyles? Here is a idea I found on Pinterest <3 https://preview.redd.it/ivr3dqpxp67d1.jpeg?width=900&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2ecf0f145650b310f324d71e4a8ae1ce52c37e09
Own how you are and never feel bad about it. Everyone is different and that’s what makes people great. You got this!
Naw, it's pretty!
Your hair is BEAUTIFUL and dorky girls are the best 😌
Your hair is like mine! Beautiful and unique! Finding out what your hair likes takes time and you will get there! Don’t give up
You’ve had some amazing feedback already, so I’ll second all of it! Your hair is beautiful. Your style is just as great. Your family sucks for teasing you. It took my daughter years to love her hair, even with all of us telling her it was beautiful. You will get there, but know that you can change it if you want.
Omg, no. Your hair is so beautiful! The only reason your family calls it clown hair is because they're jealous of your gorgeous curls, I swear! I'm so sorry they've treated you this way because you deserve better.
oh dear you have beautiful hair
As a 24 year old Hispanic male, I love that hair
I fought my curls in my teenage years, now I'm so thankful to have curly hair! Your hair is lovely!
girl your hair is absolutely gorgeous, what are you talking about omg it breaks my heart that you feel this way, you are gorgeous
I love it! My girlfriend has curly hair and its one of my favorite feature of hers. I guess it's always like a grass is greener on the other side kinda thing, I like curly because I have straight hair, and maybe it feels that way with you maybe wishing your hair was straight? Either way, it's looks great I'm sure it's a ton of work, but moisturize it good post shower. Tldr your hair is beautiful embrace it!
tits are fine though
I agree. Have a good night.
Then do something about it 💪💯
It is
Your hair is fine it’s your outfit that’s ugly
I like my outfit. I like my style.
What's wrong with it then? Go ahead tell me since u want to share ur opinion