I got a picture frame made of popsicle sticks with nuts(like the hardware not the food) glued to it a couple years ago. It said, ,"I'm nuts about you Dad!" Absolutlely awesome. It lives on my fridge now.
Edit: Daycare did you dirty OP.
My wife tried to cut the grass recently.. I stopped her by telling her she was doing it wrong.
I lied and got to finish cutting the grass myself. I feel no shame.
Yeah I'm with you, I don't buy white sneakers. Love cutting grass though. I over heard some guys talking about edging once and inserted myself in the convo "what gauge wire do you guys use?!" We were not having the same conversation.
Long time creeper. Stay at home Mom here. Fantastic husband/dad gets out youngest (3yo boy) to bed after working every day by sons request. Son wakes up most nights looking for Dad to tuck him back in.
I canāt decide whether to steal the mower pun or the nuts for Fatherās Day. Both excellent.
Went on our oldestās class trip this week and was impressed to see about a third of the chaperones were Dads.
So sexist that Dads should be overlooked for a silly ājokeā that would cause an uproar if directed at a woman. Happy Fatherās Day to all the awesome Dads out there.
Moms and partners and most importantly kids out there see you and appreciate you!
My wife is doing an art project with the kids: it's a nice wood plaque that says "you're the best dad hands down" with the hand prints of our two kids on it.
Well, it was supposed to be a surprise anyway. I accidentally found it because kids gonna be kids lol.
Daycare did OP dirty.
I got the toddler daycare version of that today! A card with a blue ribbon/gold medal that said,You're the best Dad on the outside and the Hands down/handprints on the inside. Gonna put it on my office gallery wall
Iāve got an elephant made from the top of a milk jug and some coloured tissue paper that my oldest son made for me at nursery, one of my most prized possessions
Agreed.
Best daycare father's day gift I ever got was an unopened birdhouse kit with "Adult Supervision Required" on it and 3 little jars of paint.
Each kid brought one home.
Still one of my favorite weekends, and the table on the patio *still* has paint splatters from it.
Since I found out about the Home Depot kids workshop, my (then 3, now 4 year old) son go every month.
Kid gets a mini Home Depot apron like the employees wear, project kit, pin to add to apron for each workshop (like scout badges), and they provide all the tools and paint.
Itās all FREE.
https://www.homedepot.com/c/kids?cm_sp=vanity-_-Kids-_-JUL20
(just get there early)
Yea thats what I wound up doing, had to build it in the tool aisle because they were only allowing the kids to use the specific small hammers they were providing
My brick back patio is covered in paint splatters, my kids are still actively adding to it almost weekly, i will never try to wash those away. Little memories i know i will miss and cherish forever.
My everything is covered in paint.
No seriously, wife is an artist and my kids have gotten into her paint several times. My walls, doors, carpet, even my laptop at one point before I replaced, covered in paint. We plan on selling the home eventually as we are quickly outgrowing it, but there are red hand prints (which would be unsettling if you werenāt aware were paint) that are looking smaller in relation to my kids hands every day that will one day have to be painted over when we leave. Crazy to think about.
How tf did the idea go through someoneās head that THIS was what the Fatherās Day āgiftā was going to be? āLetās celebrate fathers today!ā āOk maybe we should remind them they donāt pay attention to their kids, thatās always a winnerā. Thatās literally like someone handing you a piece of coal at Christmas like āoh but itās just a jokeā š
Iād let them know by tagging them in a photo of it on FB with the caption āDaughterās daycare decided to celebrate my involvement in her life by insinuating that I neglect her.ā
And then show your appreciation for the gift by switching daycare providers.
Is this type of thing not uncommon at Daycares? Obviously none of us know what went day at the Daycare, but have other people had experiences where some bias is shown towards Mothers and not Fathers from the Daycare?
I think the words on the gift were a bit too passive aggressive to come from a child honestly...or if it's meant to be tongue in cheek it still seems a bit complex?
I feel the message is a bit too accusatory (that's a word, right?) to be tongue in cheek. It may be *intended* as tongue in cheek, but backfired horribly. Personally I'd at least mention it to someone at daycare.
Just going to jump in on this one. Our 9year old told her mum that she was in her phone too much..... Let's just say it didn't go down too well..... Haha
..... What the fuck? This sounds like a sketch from 'I Think You Should Leave'. I'd definitely ask the teacher, non-confrontationally, what the gift was meant to imply. Do the "So, I'm just wondering if this was a gift for every dad, or....." "Did it seem appropriate to give a joke gift for Father's day to a young child?" - the answers to these questions may be enlightening.
One of the absolute best ways to call someone out and/or make it clear you aren't on the same page with them is to explicitly ask them why they did something, what they meant by it, or what their intentions were.
Or ask them, 'has my daughter indicated in some way that I'm on my phone too much? This gift seems to imply that I am and I'd rather you let me know if that's the case instead of teaching her the meaning of passive aggressive. Lol'
See, you could go there, but it is pretty heavy handed and there is possibly a reasonable explanation.
By asking the clarifying question, you can immediately see whether to let it blow over or dig in with "...And why did you think that was appropriate?"
My daughter is in kindergarten and made me a father's day gift. I teared up reading it. She drew a picture of me and then on the back was one of those questionnaire about how old I am, favorite thing to do, what my job is. It was great. All three daycares my kids have been in did father's day and mother's day gifts.
It's sort of insulting to both parents to teach kids that the standard is different, right? Like the standard for moms is amazing, and dads... We'll settle for you being present. And implying that's how things are teaches kids a false norm.
>parents to teach kids that the standard is different, right? Like the standard for moms is amazing, and dads... We'll settle for you being present
100%. I personally have never experienced this type of shitty behavior (lucky I guess), but it makes me so mad when I see other dads subject to it.
I've only had it happen once, and that was when I had both my kids (5 and 1.5) and was picking up a prescription at Publix.
My wife had taken my daughter in for an ear infection and they sent some medicine and I volunteered to swing by with the kiddos and grab it. I can't remember what prompted it, but Tech made an off-hand comment along the lines of "this is why the moms should handle the kids" which was pretty wild b/c my kids were behaving and I was answering her questions. I think I forgot the name of the prescription b/c it was one of those long medicinal titles with lots of X's and U's in the name.
Anyways, that Tech is a bitter old bitch to begin with so it didn't bother me a *ton*, but it was pretty wild to actually get branded with that "dumb dad" iron even though nothing really prompted it lol.
I am a preschool teacher and that is horrifying. I try to keep our gifts very equal. Motherās Day got a tote bag their kids decorated and a book mark with the kids picture and Fatherās Day we did a plate the kids decorated and a card in the shape of a āWorldās Best Dadā trophy with the kidās picture.
I hope those feel equal and make the dadās feel appreciated. I see the worm they do every day. I see just as many dads each day as I do momās.
āWorlds Best Dad- you think youāre better than me?!ā -Izzy Mandlebaum from Seinfeld
Now that I think about it, it might have been a ā#1 dadā tshirt that started the whole argument.
Fight fire with fire. On some kind of daycare appreciation day give them a gift card with a value just less than a coffee. Or, pick the kid up at the very last minute on a Friday long weekend and say you were busy on your phone.
The fathers day presents my kids have brought home from daycare and school over the years have reliably slayed me, and I am assured by my teacher friends that they know what they're doing with these things.
It's not a big deal, but I think you're right to feel insulted, and it might be worth a comment at the next pickup. Don't get mad or anything, but just a "what the hell man?" kind of comment.
I live in Norway and i got to ask, is that derived from the norwegian/scandinavian "uff da"? i know theres a lot of people with Norwegian heritage in Minnesota, and its a pretty common phrase in Norway when things go wrong haha
That one carried through dominantly. Youāll find it on hats and T-shirts all over the place.
Foods like Lutefisk (Scandinavian immigrant creation) and lefse are Christmas staples in my family and easy to find at the grocery store during the holidays.
I could go on and on haha. I love Scandinavian and Iām proud of my heritage.
thats actually hilarious (the Uff da t-shirts etc).
My parents love lutefisk, and my dad, brother uncle and (male) cousin have a yearly lutefisk dinner at a fancy resturant each christmas, but i cant stand it myself. The texture is just so wrong. My mom also have a big "takke" (special cooking plate to make lefse) that she uses multiple times a year, for various lefse types
Have you ever visited here?
Norwegian here too. I learnt the connection between scandinavia and minnesota some years ago through the tv show Fargo (I believe it was called).
The characters there had straight up norwegian names and it was like normal names for that place. Like they weren't immigrants or had parents or grandparents from scandinavia, it was a pretty cool discovery.
As another Minnesotan I would l love to visit sometime. Also older relatives loving lutefisk/it being a traditional dish that feelsā¦ unsettling is a very common shared experience in my generation lol. Uff da is spelled many ways but is a useful phrase that I feel like is actually becoming more common.
The other common random connection is that in Minnesota kids play a game called Duck Duck Grey Duck, whereas in the rest of the US itās always called Duck Duck Goose. The Grey Duck version is a more direct translation from Swedish (also an objectively better game with slightly different rules). Youāll sometimes see shirts etc. referencing the difference.
My experience wasn't as severe. But still its in the same vein.
On mothers day she got a card that said "to the worlds best mom happy mothers day"
For fathers day i got a card that said "to dad"
I mean the important part anyways was the drawing on the card. But its apparent th daycare treats us differently.
I've also noticed they call mom first for whatever reason.
It doesnāt get better as they get older. My wife has a demanding career, while I am a data developer that works from home. Since our kids were in diapers I have always been the first contact. They almost never call me first. Even with extracurriculars, I signed my daughter up for softball, put my # first. Who gets left off the coachās group message about games/schedules/uniforms, me. It definitely bothers me but Iām kind of reigned to it now. Plus when shit goes sideways and we miss something I have plausible deniability. Ha
Iām listed as the primary number at our daycare, but they call my wifeās work number, which she barely ever uses. Weāve asked them a dozen times to change the number, and they just donāt understand.
>I've also noticed they call mom first for whatever reason
I went round with the local public school on this. I WFH while my wife is in meetings all day, so we always asked that they call me first. It's on the paper work, and we asked in person several times.
Yet still, one day my wife listened to a voice message from the school hours after the fact about how my son was injured. I was sitting at home two blocks away, while my son sat in the nurse's office waiting on a mother who wasn't coming.
Because they thought they should call mom, not dad.
Everything ended up being okay, but it wasn't the only time something like that happened. I was pissed. And it's a little hard to be pissed, because everyone involved was super nice and well meaning, but, well, I found a way to me pissed anyway because that's straight up sexist bullshit.
They had to straight up look at the paperwork and IGNORE that I was explicitly listed as the first contact, and move on to the mother's contact.
I expect to be in a similar situation when school starts, being in the more-flexible job. We had to escalate and basically tell their daycare to either follow or correct their own bloody rules.
If you ask for an order for contacting the parents, FOLLOW IT.
I used to be the person who called parents from daycare and Iād call whoever dropped off that day. If they didnāt answer Iād call the other person. Usually the kids can even tell you who will be busiest. I donāt understand the people who only call one parent and just wait hours for a response that may never come, especially when thereās a sick or injured child.
I'm listed as the first contact for our daughter because her mom works nights. Recently they called her 5 times, and texted her twice to let her know our daughter was sick and needed to come home. They eventually called Grandma who called me to see if she needed to pick her up. Never called or texted me once. Momma was a bit upset when she woke up
Omg yes to calling mom first. I'm the mom, and I work from home, so I'm fortunate to be within 5 minutes of school if something happens. Up until recently, though, my husband was a stay at home dad. Her school would STILL send the Class Dojo messages to me instead of him. And I'm over here like....I'm in back to back meetings all day but my husband is literally sitting on the couch researching the best recipes for sandwich bread.
>they call mom first for whatever reason
Yeah, itās crazy. I work from home, have super flexible hours, I do most of the drop offs and pickups, my number is listed first in their directory, but they call my wife, who is a doctor and canāt answer the phone when sheās with a patient, and couldnāt leave work anyway.
We live a mile away, just goddamn call *me*! Usually sheāll have 6 missed calls from them before they think to call me, and I have him picked up and at home before my wife sees her missed calls.
Itās annoying how slow the education and childcare industry is to adapt. I get it, my dad never did shit. This stereotype is because of past generations of fathers. But I see super involved dads everywhere I go and itās extremely frustrating how slow the world has been to change this stereotype.
My 4 year olds daycare does breakfast for mothers and fathers day. I see in the pictures with my wife, that the school has a nice spread of fresh fruit, yogurt, juice, coffee and pastries for mother day. Fast forward to "donuts with dads," there's a pot of coffee, a few bottles of water and cold stale donuts still in the box, bought from the local grocery store days ago. I usually just suck it up since they are so nice, but she is leaving this school for public kindergarden in August, and I am going to say something this Friday if it goes down like this again.
EDIT - I went to the fathers day thing this morning and there was a huge spread of food... maybe someone there is on reddit?
Our daycare does a morning tea for mothers day and an afternoon tea for fathers day. The Mother's Day one has lots of different snacks and biscuits, juice, tea, coffee, cakes and such. Also they had a speech thanking mums grandmothers etc and a dedicated photo area.
Fathers day we got some biscuits, an offer to make a coffee and water. They took photos and such but no 'Happy Fathers Day' photo area, no speech just a thanks for coming.
I guess the main factor is there is always a big turn out for the mothers day event but maybe 3 or 4 dads per room for fathers day. Which I understand you can't put on a big show with lots of snacks and a variety of drinks for so little people but it just feels like it is just thrown together the morning of and nothing is special.
My kid's gift from preschool is a laminated piece of paper with quotes from all of the kids about their dads. While it's a nice gesture, I'd much rather see them making something themselves instead of getting a piece of paper the teacher typed up that is a one-size-fits-all gift for all the kids. At least it was the same treatment for Mother's Day so there's not a double standard going on like at OP's daycare.
Iād be pissed! I do all the pickups and often catch some shit like I mustāve called off work or what a treat dad is her from other moms and the teachers. Today was my daughters last day of school and we got to go inside and my daughter was ecstatic she got to show me her classroom and all their stations and books and toys. Only dad there. Same shit from some of the other teachers that donāt see me everyday. I just kind of roll my eyes. I know whatās most important but a gift like that would cause a dressing down to whatever teacher thought that was a good idea. I donāt mind most of the comments because I know Iām modeling what I want my kids to learn. To show up. Having them make a āgiftā about how dads donāt show up is just plain wrong. Fuck them teachers
I'd definitely ask who made the choice on that before getting mad. If the wife got some input or the kid picked it because of an innocent reason (or you really need the reminder), then the daycare wouldn't be at fault.
...but yeah, my first assumption is that the daycare needs a conversation.
Fwiw (as lurker mom) I'm bitter too. For Mothers day daycaare had us come and eat finger sandwiches and fruit plates while making bead jewelry and let the kids paint our fingernails.
Well they had the fathers day equivalent today. Grilled hot dogs and hamburgers out on the playground and painting big pieces of wood.
I want a gddamn hot dog.
It would definitely fit my wife much better than me- āput the phone down and pay some attention to me this Motherās Dayā- but thatās obviously not acceptable yet somehow OPs gift is.
You are not reading too much into this, I would say someone at your daycare didnāt read into this at all.
I would be pissed, that is a crazy blanket insult to all fathers, implying that dads everywhere are disengaged.
I would probably write a letter expressing how bad it made you feel, how the āgiftā perpetuates negative stereotypes, and how even worse imposes those stereotypes onto your family.
That sucks, and honestly, it shouldnāt be hard for them to see how it sucks; I would assume positive intent with them, but explain that the ājokeā went way too far
*am mom*
My daughter came home from daycare with a little hanging piece of wood with a bunch of pebbles glued on to it. It says āMy dad rocks.ā He teared up. Iām lowkey jealous.
You arenāt overreacting. Your daycare did you dirty.
Dude thatās fuckin lame.
I hate holidays like this with a passion, but to insinuate dads donāt care as much or arenāt as important in a childās life is totally bogus.
It's bullshit because it presupposes the recipient, a parent of equal standing to the mother, is somehow less present and more worthy of being the butt of a stereotype "joke". All without actually knowing if this is the case.
I did all pickup/dropoff for my son in day care and they would ask his mom to sign things. Like wtf I'm right here ...
Men (especially Dads) have been getting shit on for years. Public perception, sitcoms, commercials etc
Somehow we all have to pay for the sins of our fathers and grandfathers
Funny how my wife is on her phone twice as much as me, especially around the kids.
> Somehow we all have to pay for the sins of our fathers and grandfathers
But did they really do anything bad? Or was it the same unsubstantiated implications that we see today? Thinking back to my grandparents, my grandfathers set a pretty high standard that I try to live up to. It wasn't like Mad Men, that's a fiction.
Few years back went to pick up my younger two from daycare after work and let them know that I was taking a week off so my kids wouldn't be there next week ( I do 95% of the picking up and dropping off). One of the workers made an off collar comment to me asking am I going to be ok babysitting my 3 kids? I just shook my head and walked away got to the door and turned back around cuz I'm an idiot at times.
Walked up the the lady who was talking to a few of the mom's and said do you think I'm a dead beat dad or some kind of looser who doesn't love his kids? She turned white then red said no why did you say that. I said because you asked me if I would be ok watching my kids. I don't babysit my kids being a dad isn't something I see as part time. It bothers me to no end that you wouldn't ask a mom about spending time with their kids, and just walked away.
Why is it when mom's spend time with their kids it's just that but when some women see a man with their kids he must be baby sitting or watching his kids? Sorry to rant on your rant OP
I asked my wife if this is upsetting. My 14 yr old daughter overheard and suggested the Father's Day gift should have been a pipe wrench with the message, "Dad, my love for you bursts forth like water from a frozen pipe."
I am in the firm belief that we should just get rid of Father's Day and Mother's day. Combine them and just have one "Parents' Day." or two if that's what you want to do. Solves every issue around these days.
In the school my wife work at, they do a Ā«Ā someone you loveĀ dayĀ Ā» instead, because this is a quite rough area, and a lot of them donāt have moms or dads.
Take a deep cleansing breath and remind yourself, "never ascribe to malice what can explained through stupidity". It was probably meant to be funny, even though it's insulting, especially compared to the Mothers Day gift. The day care is run by thoughtless idiots.
Then again, I remember my son's kindergarten being similar with the parents. I was between jobs at the time, so I dropped off and picked up my kids. I never seemed to be accepted by the group of moms there (including a couple I'd known for a couple year because of older children). One dad was, mostly because his wife was there with him. Meh. Idiots.
my daycare had them make the dad's cards with their handprints being the spores on a few mould hyphae, and it says " dad you're such a fungi"
I almost cried laughing, they had no idea that I'm a hazardous material consultant and have done hundreds of mould projects over the course of my career
This is our first Fathers/Motherās Day. For Motherās Day, my daughter painted a picture frame for her momā¦we will see what I get from daycare on Friday.
Sorry to hear this. From all the good dads on here, we all know what youāre feeling given dad sacrifices and mot always the thank yous or recognition. Will the kiddo be in the same day care next year? If so, definitely worth approaching the day care people on it. For what its worth, I would go into it with the mindset of āassuming best intentionsā, and say nicely something along the lines of, thank you for putting together a project to recognize the dads. That shows gratitude, take down peoples guards. Then ask the question on intention of the gift/did other dads get this, etc.
Long term, Iād say to not worry about it. You know youāre a good dad and Iām sure your kid does too. Thats all that really matters. Good luck!
Yeah that sucks. How much truth is there in the message out of curiosity? Iād probably be hurt by that message but Iād acknowledge a bit of truth in it personally at this moment
Yea I got told one year that they were going to get me a hammer that said building memories with you or something but that didnāt fit well with what I do.
What I do is 3/4 of the drop offs and pick ups. I take off and arrange my workload to make sure all my kids get to doctors appointments and are well taken care of. Twice this week I have made extra trips for forgotten things for camps. On top of that I plan and excite family vacations.
I swear at times itās a thankless job. But when I get those hugs from my daughter and that excited story from my son that makes it all worth it.
I sorry about the bad gift but remember the things that matter is actually how they see you. I am sure that they donāt feel neglected but overwhelming loved by you and thatās what counts.
That "gift" is complete horseshit.
I don't know your daycare situation or your relationship with the caregivers, but I would absolutely have a frank/honest discussion with them about the so-called gift. It's mean-spirited, disrespectful, and hurtful.
Even if you are an inattentive dad who's always on his phone, a Father's Day gift is not the place to give you a cold-hearted reminder to get off your phone and raise your kids right.
Every Mother's Day we overlook all imperfections to give momma a special day to celebrate all the good she does and the sacrifices she makes. I believe fathers should at least get something in the same hemisphere.
That said, for those dads that spend too much time on your phones, this is a good lil' reminder for you to give your head a shake and focus on priorities...
Go Dads, Go!
I feel this so deeply! Our church usually does special messages for Mother's Day and Father's Day, and for the moms it's usually "thanks" and "what a great job you do," while for dads it's usually how we need to step up and do better. I get it that there are a lot of deadbeat dads out there, but there are also those of us doing a pretty good job, or at least trying to.
No, that's super rough!
I've got a 7 week old, so no passive-aggressive arts and crafts but...
when we were leaving the hospital, they handed my partner a stack of pages about follow-up care, tests, breastfeeding, basic care for new-borns etc.. They handed me a 3 pager about not shaking the baby.
This reminds me of my old church. Every Mother's Day, there was a long sermon about how amazing Mothers are etc etc. Then on Father's Day it was a message about how dada need to step up and do better.
This year I received a completely blank piece of green card folded in half from her daycare/nursery. My daughter was still excited to give it to me but honestly I took it as a big FU from the nursery staff. They're always making some comment or dig. This time it was "oh we don't usually see you here? It's always mummy!" Yeah I know..I'm at work usually...don't make me feel like an absent father I don't have a choice!
Gets even worse if you become a single father with majority or full custody. The alienation Iāve felt when trying to genuinely resource myself in the single parent community for the betterment of my kids. EVERYTHING is mom focused. Everything. Even when mom is absent.
Weirdly enough it may just be location and the typical mantra of, āmoms do more,ā they used to, yes. But now a days there a lot of dads like us that LOVE being dads and we arenāt shunning affection. For Motherās Day my daughter made her mom stickers. I got a hand made key chain with her fingerprints in the shape of a heart and a picture of my daughter thatās says, Daddy you rock!ā The entire picture was framed with rocks. So cute. Anyways, not all schools are biased.
It is annoying that our culture does this. We always got nice things for my mom usually nice plants for her garden as that suits springtime... And dad got joke boxer shorts and a bag of pistachios.
I hope you get something a little more thoughtful from your partner at least.
Nah that is dog shit and presumptuous. I still enjoy imagining and games with imagination so I do the majority of play times. Things are not the same as they were 30 years ago and it's time people recognize that
That's some bullcrap. I'd let the daycare know you don't appreciate a passive aggressive present. But ofc not your daughter, she did what they told her to.
Meanwhile, the mothers can't put Tiktok down for three seconds.
I really don't understand when the shift happened in terms of society and media portraying fathers as clueless and bumbling imbeciles, but I personally want to kill that shit with fire š„
My child's daycare is very mom-centric. I do all the drop offs. I do the lunchmaking. But it's still all about "what did mom pack you for lunch" and "mommy picked out such a pretty dress today"
Piling on to say that was rude.
I've gotten a couple pictures that she drew sitting on my work desk from the last two father's day. One of them is on a canvas... Like a 8"x8" one that is painted. It's just purple and blue streaks and the most beautiful picture I've ever received.
They did you dirty.
Some people don't understand how much a daddy does... idk what I would do without my man... I hate to think of it. AND IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT... I See waaaaayy more moms stuck on their stupid phones than dad's.I hate it. I used to walk into a friends house or my house and go straight to the kids because all the adults were stuck on their phones.... those "DAYCARE" people probably have some weird personal stuff going on, or thought it was cute when its really disrespectful...
As a dad in SF these stories of unequal treatment are pretty annoying. I canāt imagine that happening here. Thereās enough diverse families that assuming mom isnāt realistic or safe. In fact some kids get picked up/dropped off by grandparents. Nannies. Always dad. Sometimes mom or dad. Always mom. It varies a lot.
I feel for you dads - sucks to be in suburbia :-/
Wow that's fucked up.
Why would daycare think that's a good idea? I would probably say something to the director (in a nice way) to make sure they aren't oblivious to the underhanded gift they decided to send to all the dads...
Total bullshit gift from the daycare.
Every year since my son started school, I get something that says that I am Cool.
I am still waiting for my āWorldās Greatest Dadā coffee mug. Someone here must be getting them instead, I will keep striving for the honor to be bestowed upon me.
I got a picture frame made of popsicle sticks with nuts(like the hardware not the food) glued to it a couple years ago. It said, ,"I'm nuts about you Dad!" Absolutlely awesome. It lives on my fridge now. Edit: Daycare did you dirty OP.
Last year I got a card that said 'ever year I love you mower' with a push mower superimposed on the image. Good stuff.
This made me smile. I'm a sucker for that corny stuff.
The one cultural stereotype about dads that this sub 100% bears out is that we love dad jokes.
And stained green New Balance shoes!
Absolutely not. I will not become that. I fucking love cutting grass though.
My wife tried to cut the grass recently.. I stopped her by telling her she was doing it wrong. I lied and got to finish cutting the grass myself. I feel no shame.
I can only dream of my wife actually helping with yard work
I have my wife pickup small sticks and trash out of the yard before I mow. She gets a simple task but still feels like she helps.
I too refuse to stop being the guy cutting the grass while barefoot and in torn old shop clothes getting a second life before the trash.
You really should wear something on your feet, though. That blade can kick debris pretty hard, and if the deck is raised...
Yeah I'm with you, I don't buy white sneakers. Love cutting grass though. I over heard some guys talking about edging once and inserted myself in the convo "what gauge wire do you guys use?!" We were not having the same conversation.
Hahahahaha brooooo
It's funny how parenthood does that to us. š
We all are! We're dads!
Long time creeper. Stay at home Mom here. Fantastic husband/dad gets out youngest (3yo boy) to bed after working every day by sons request. Son wakes up most nights looking for Dad to tuck him back in. I canāt decide whether to steal the mower pun or the nuts for Fatherās Day. Both excellent. Went on our oldestās class trip this week and was impressed to see about a third of the chaperones were Dads. So sexist that Dads should be overlooked for a silly ājokeā that would cause an uproar if directed at a woman. Happy Fatherās Day to all the awesome Dads out there. Moms and partners and most importantly kids out there see you and appreciate you!
Last year I got a picture of a hammer where the head was my sons foot print. I donāt remember what it said but it was framed and I love it.
My wife is doing an art project with the kids: it's a nice wood plaque that says "you're the best dad hands down" with the hand prints of our two kids on it. Well, it was supposed to be a surprise anyway. I accidentally found it because kids gonna be kids lol. Daycare did OP dirty.
It honestly says a lot about the day care providerās family dynamics. Maybe their husbands fit that image.
I got the toddler daycare version of that today! A card with a blue ribbon/gold medal that said,You're the best Dad on the outside and the Hands down/handprints on the inside. Gonna put it on my office gallery wall
Iāve got an elephant made from the top of a milk jug and some coloured tissue paper that my oldest son made for me at nursery, one of my most prized possessions
I got a rock my son painted and wrote "you rock" on it! I love it! It lives on my mantle, so i see it every day!
One year I got a picture frame with a lot of little rocks glued on and a photo of my son in front of a sign that said "Dad, You Rock"
Thats so awesome!
I got the same thing last year. Did yours have handprints / footprints in the frame?
I got "Dad, you rock" with a bunch of pebbles. I agree, daycare did OP rough.
I got one like that last year! It sits proudly on my desk at work.
Last year I got a picture frame with rocks glued to its edges and a phrase "you rock dad". It sits on my desk at work and is my favorite.
My daycare did a little footprint of my daughter as Yoda and captioned it āYoda best because you are my fatherā. That shit is framed in my office.
One year I got that as a shirt. It said something along the lines of Yoda the best dad in the galaxy.
That's a shit "present" and I'd let them know that personally (the daycare not your daughter)
Agreed. Best daycare father's day gift I ever got was an unopened birdhouse kit with "Adult Supervision Required" on it and 3 little jars of paint. Each kid brought one home. Still one of my favorite weekends, and the table on the patio *still* has paint splatters from it.
Now THAT is great
Since I found out about the Home Depot kids workshop, my (then 3, now 4 year old) son go every month. Kid gets a mini Home Depot apron like the employees wear, project kit, pin to add to apron for each workshop (like scout badges), and they provide all the tools and paint. Itās all FREE. https://www.homedepot.com/c/kids?cm_sp=vanity-_-Kids-_-JUL20 (just get there early)
Bettering there early is definitely key, the last one we made it to was a birdhouse workshop and they had four hammers and about 40 kids
Just grab one off the shelf and put it back when you were done. When I donāt remember my small tape measure, I borrow one inside the store.
Yea thats what I wound up doing, had to build it in the tool aisle because they were only allowing the kids to use the specific small hammers they were providing
My brick back patio is covered in paint splatters, my kids are still actively adding to it almost weekly, i will never try to wash those away. Little memories i know i will miss and cherish forever.
Keep it up. I teach upper elementary and you'd be amazed how MOST kids have never done a craft with the parents.
We paint stepping stones and big rocks weāve collected. Which is awesome cause when it rains then bam, fresh canvas.
My everything is covered in paint. No seriously, wife is an artist and my kids have gotten into her paint several times. My walls, doors, carpet, even my laptop at one point before I replaced, covered in paint. We plan on selling the home eventually as we are quickly outgrowing it, but there are red hand prints (which would be unsettling if you werenāt aware were paint) that are looking smaller in relation to my kids hands every day that will one day have to be painted over when we leave. Crazy to think about.
I got a card with a motorbike on it but the wheels were my kid's hand imprints and it said you're a Wheely good dad.
Yeah screw that, Iād be pissed too
How tf did the idea go through someoneās head that THIS was what the Fatherās Day āgiftā was going to be? āLetās celebrate fathers today!ā āOk maybe we should remind them they donāt pay attention to their kids, thatās always a winnerā. Thatās literally like someone handing you a piece of coal at Christmas like āoh but itās just a jokeā š
Iād let them know by tagging them in a photo of it on FB with the caption āDaughterās daycare decided to celebrate my involvement in her life by insinuating that I neglect her.ā And then show your appreciation for the gift by switching daycare providers.
Hey man, maybe talk to the daycare director first before taking it to a 10. You never know, they might not be aware.
Lol simply switch daycare providers
For real! Waitlists in my area are 12-18 months. I'd talk to the administration, but definitely not worth ending up with no childcare.
Iām comically imagining Tim Robinson as the dad and heās just losing it on his 5 year old daughter.
100%. Stupid as shit daycare. Thatās the kinda thing you put up on Google reviews with a burner email address.
> Thatās the kinda thing you put up on Google reviews with a burner email address. yeah, anonymously create social media drama like a REAL man!
Assuming it wasn't the daughter's idea.
It's daycare...
Is this type of thing not uncommon at Daycares? Obviously none of us know what went day at the Daycare, but have other people had experiences where some bias is shown towards Mothers and not Fathers from the Daycare?
I think the words on the gift were a bit too passive aggressive to come from a child honestly...or if it's meant to be tongue in cheek it still seems a bit complex?
I feel the message is a bit too accusatory (that's a word, right?) to be tongue in cheek. It may be *intended* as tongue in cheek, but backfired horribly. Personally I'd at least mention it to someone at daycare.
Iād make real sure that every other kids holder doesnāt say āI love you daddyā before making that complaint.
"Mom, stop taking selfies for Instagram and play with me!" Could you imagine?
It would be outrage, on their insta stories.
With lots of replies that include clap emojis
š Listen.šTo. šThe. š Outrage.
I canāt even right now.
I know, too real.
No, I think it's reels on Instagram. I'll show myself out.
As if
Just going to jump in on this one. Our 9year old told her mum that she was in her phone too much..... Let's just say it didn't go down too well..... Haha
Or " 'What's a gym-goer's favorite type of music? Heavy metal... because it reminds them to lift' Don't forget to go the gym mommy!" WW3 in my house
..... What the fuck? This sounds like a sketch from 'I Think You Should Leave'. I'd definitely ask the teacher, non-confrontationally, what the gift was meant to imply. Do the "So, I'm just wondering if this was a gift for every dad, or....." "Did it seem appropriate to give a joke gift for Father's day to a young child?" - the answers to these questions may be enlightening.
Really have to make them eat the receipt at that point
One of the absolute best ways to call someone out and/or make it clear you aren't on the same page with them is to explicitly ask them why they did something, what they meant by it, or what their intentions were.
Or ask them, 'has my daughter indicated in some way that I'm on my phone too much? This gift seems to imply that I am and I'd rather you let me know if that's the case instead of teaching her the meaning of passive aggressive. Lol'
See, you could go there, but it is pretty heavy handed and there is possibly a reasonable explanation. By asking the clarifying question, you can immediately see whether to let it blow over or dig in with "...And why did you think that was appropriate?"
This sounds fair save the part about passive aggressive though
Haha yes, maybe save that for the inner thoughts.
Only way I could ask would be interpreted as confrontational. I think some dads would be in the same boat as me.
Me, I'm in the boat with you. And i brought bait for this trip
I can't figure out a way to open the dialogue that doesn't start with "Listen here, cunt." So I think I might be actively driving the boat?
You might be on the deck handing out torches and pitchforks. I'll take one of each, though.
Could I interest you in a Pitch-Torch? All three prongs of a pitch fork, actively on fire. Burn and stab in one easy motion!!
"Did one of these babies say people can't change?"
This isnāt slicked back, this is PUSHED back.
You sure about that? You sure about that thatās why?
Sorry, just did a diaper change. Used to small of a slice. This place is caked head to toe in shit.
I hope his face isn't beet red for his family photo tonight
My kid's daycare gave me a pair of chode jeans for father's day. I almost killed myself, Daycare!
THIS IS A BETRAYAL UNLIKE EVER SEEN BEFORE.
JULIE!
What's the joke?
Haha dad is neglectful XD
When Iām losing an argument against my daughter, I WILL get on my phone for the WHOLE night.
Asking those questions that way DEFINITELY turns this into a Tim Robinson sketch
My kid never made anything at nursery for Fatherās Day. Always did Motherās Day. Wonder if they will now theyāve stated school proper
If itās like my kidās school, nothing since Fatherās Day happens a mere 5 days after school ends for the year.
My daughter is in kindergarten and made me a father's day gift. I teared up reading it. She drew a picture of me and then on the back was one of those questionnaire about how old I am, favorite thing to do, what my job is. It was great. All three daycares my kids have been in did father's day and mother's day gifts.
Not going to lie I would be fuming
It's sort of insulting to both parents to teach kids that the standard is different, right? Like the standard for moms is amazing, and dads... We'll settle for you being present. And implying that's how things are teaches kids a false norm.
>parents to teach kids that the standard is different, right? Like the standard for moms is amazing, and dads... We'll settle for you being present 100%. I personally have never experienced this type of shitty behavior (lucky I guess), but it makes me so mad when I see other dads subject to it.
I've only had it happen once, and that was when I had both my kids (5 and 1.5) and was picking up a prescription at Publix. My wife had taken my daughter in for an ear infection and they sent some medicine and I volunteered to swing by with the kiddos and grab it. I can't remember what prompted it, but Tech made an off-hand comment along the lines of "this is why the moms should handle the kids" which was pretty wild b/c my kids were behaving and I was answering her questions. I think I forgot the name of the prescription b/c it was one of those long medicinal titles with lots of X's and U's in the name. Anyways, that Tech is a bitter old bitch to begin with so it didn't bother me a *ton*, but it was pretty wild to actually get branded with that "dumb dad" iron even though nothing really prompted it lol.
I'm fuming and I didn't even get a sexist present. Let's all grab our pitchforks and find OP's daycare!
I am a preschool teacher and that is horrifying. I try to keep our gifts very equal. Motherās Day got a tote bag their kids decorated and a book mark with the kids picture and Fatherās Day we did a plate the kids decorated and a card in the shape of a āWorldās Best Dadā trophy with the kidās picture. I hope those feel equal and make the dadās feel appreciated. I see the worm they do every day. I see just as many dads each day as I do momās.
āWorlds Best Dad- you think youāre better than me?!ā -Izzy Mandlebaum from Seinfeld Now that I think about it, it might have been a ā#1 dadā tshirt that started the whole argument.
I can lift this father's day gift straight up over my head!
Lmao that's cheeky AF and I'd be quite annoyed at the implication.
Fight fire with fire. On some kind of daycare appreciation day give them a gift card with a value just less than a coffee. Or, pick the kid up at the very last minute on a Friday long weekend and say you were busy on your phone.
The gift card of less than a coffee is pure genius.
The fathers day presents my kids have brought home from daycare and school over the years have reliably slayed me, and I am assured by my teacher friends that they know what they're doing with these things. It's not a big deal, but I think you're right to feel insulted, and it might be worth a comment at the next pickup. Don't get mad or anything, but just a "what the hell man?" kind of comment.
"can you explain this gift to me?"
āAre you fucking idiots here or whatā
[These are the best things I've gotten from my kids, the rock was a spur of the moment thing at daycare lol. ](https://imgur.com/lFsFNoV)
As we say here in Minnesota, oofda! Thatās pretty cold.
I live in Norway and i got to ask, is that derived from the norwegian/scandinavian "uff da"? i know theres a lot of people with Norwegian heritage in Minnesota, and its a pretty common phrase in Norway when things go wrong haha
Minnesotan here with a lot of Swedish and Norwegian heritage. Youāre darn right it is!
Thats really interesting :D Had no idea Minnesota actually had Scandinavian phrases thats stuck through the generations
That one carried through dominantly. Youāll find it on hats and T-shirts all over the place. Foods like Lutefisk (Scandinavian immigrant creation) and lefse are Christmas staples in my family and easy to find at the grocery store during the holidays. I could go on and on haha. I love Scandinavian and Iām proud of my heritage.
thats actually hilarious (the Uff da t-shirts etc). My parents love lutefisk, and my dad, brother uncle and (male) cousin have a yearly lutefisk dinner at a fancy resturant each christmas, but i cant stand it myself. The texture is just so wrong. My mom also have a big "takke" (special cooking plate to make lefse) that she uses multiple times a year, for various lefse types Have you ever visited here?
Norwegian here too. I learnt the connection between scandinavia and minnesota some years ago through the tv show Fargo (I believe it was called). The characters there had straight up norwegian names and it was like normal names for that place. Like they weren't immigrants or had parents or grandparents from scandinavia, it was a pretty cool discovery.
One of my grandfatherās best friends growing up was named Ole Stensgard. He was like fourth generation American.
As another Minnesotan I would l love to visit sometime. Also older relatives loving lutefisk/it being a traditional dish that feelsā¦ unsettling is a very common shared experience in my generation lol. Uff da is spelled many ways but is a useful phrase that I feel like is actually becoming more common. The other common random connection is that in Minnesota kids play a game called Duck Duck Grey Duck, whereas in the rest of the US itās always called Duck Duck Goose. The Grey Duck version is a more direct translation from Swedish (also an objectively better game with slightly different rules). Youāll sometimes see shirts etc. referencing the difference.
U betcha
It's used in Wisconsin a lot too. There's even a Wisconsin comedian that uses the expression a lot: https://youtu.be/itgHq5CyBAM
That was my college's motto, never knew a state shared the saying as well
My experience wasn't as severe. But still its in the same vein. On mothers day she got a card that said "to the worlds best mom happy mothers day" For fathers day i got a card that said "to dad" I mean the important part anyways was the drawing on the card. But its apparent th daycare treats us differently. I've also noticed they call mom first for whatever reason.
It doesnāt get better as they get older. My wife has a demanding career, while I am a data developer that works from home. Since our kids were in diapers I have always been the first contact. They almost never call me first. Even with extracurriculars, I signed my daughter up for softball, put my # first. Who gets left off the coachās group message about games/schedules/uniforms, me. It definitely bothers me but Iām kind of reigned to it now. Plus when shit goes sideways and we miss something I have plausible deniability. Ha
Get your wife to add you to the group chats then have her leave the group lol
I'm not trapped in here with you, you're trapped in here with me!
Iām listed as the primary number at our daycare, but they call my wifeās work number, which she barely ever uses. Weāve asked them a dozen times to change the number, and they just donāt understand.
>I've also noticed they call mom first for whatever reason I went round with the local public school on this. I WFH while my wife is in meetings all day, so we always asked that they call me first. It's on the paper work, and we asked in person several times. Yet still, one day my wife listened to a voice message from the school hours after the fact about how my son was injured. I was sitting at home two blocks away, while my son sat in the nurse's office waiting on a mother who wasn't coming. Because they thought they should call mom, not dad. Everything ended up being okay, but it wasn't the only time something like that happened. I was pissed. And it's a little hard to be pissed, because everyone involved was super nice and well meaning, but, well, I found a way to me pissed anyway because that's straight up sexist bullshit. They had to straight up look at the paperwork and IGNORE that I was explicitly listed as the first contact, and move on to the mother's contact.
I expect to be in a similar situation when school starts, being in the more-flexible job. We had to escalate and basically tell their daycare to either follow or correct their own bloody rules. If you ask for an order for contacting the parents, FOLLOW IT.
I used to be the person who called parents from daycare and Iād call whoever dropped off that day. If they didnāt answer Iād call the other person. Usually the kids can even tell you who will be busiest. I donāt understand the people who only call one parent and just wait hours for a response that may never come, especially when thereās a sick or injured child.
I'm listed as the first contact for our daughter because her mom works nights. Recently they called her 5 times, and texted her twice to let her know our daughter was sick and needed to come home. They eventually called Grandma who called me to see if she needed to pick her up. Never called or texted me once. Momma was a bit upset when she woke up
Omg yes to calling mom first. I'm the mom, and I work from home, so I'm fortunate to be within 5 minutes of school if something happens. Up until recently, though, my husband was a stay at home dad. Her school would STILL send the Class Dojo messages to me instead of him. And I'm over here like....I'm in back to back meetings all day but my husband is literally sitting on the couch researching the best recipes for sandwich bread.
>they call mom first for whatever reason Yeah, itās crazy. I work from home, have super flexible hours, I do most of the drop offs and pickups, my number is listed first in their directory, but they call my wife, who is a doctor and canāt answer the phone when sheās with a patient, and couldnāt leave work anyway. We live a mile away, just goddamn call *me*! Usually sheāll have 6 missed calls from them before they think to call me, and I have him picked up and at home before my wife sees her missed calls.
Itās annoying how slow the education and childcare industry is to adapt. I get it, my dad never did shit. This stereotype is because of past generations of fathers. But I see super involved dads everywhere I go and itās extremely frustrating how slow the world has been to change this stereotype.
My 4 year olds daycare does breakfast for mothers and fathers day. I see in the pictures with my wife, that the school has a nice spread of fresh fruit, yogurt, juice, coffee and pastries for mother day. Fast forward to "donuts with dads," there's a pot of coffee, a few bottles of water and cold stale donuts still in the box, bought from the local grocery store days ago. I usually just suck it up since they are so nice, but she is leaving this school for public kindergarden in August, and I am going to say something this Friday if it goes down like this again. EDIT - I went to the fathers day thing this morning and there was a huge spread of food... maybe someone there is on reddit?
Our daycare does a morning tea for mothers day and an afternoon tea for fathers day. The Mother's Day one has lots of different snacks and biscuits, juice, tea, coffee, cakes and such. Also they had a speech thanking mums grandmothers etc and a dedicated photo area. Fathers day we got some biscuits, an offer to make a coffee and water. They took photos and such but no 'Happy Fathers Day' photo area, no speech just a thanks for coming. I guess the main factor is there is always a big turn out for the mothers day event but maybe 3 or 4 dads per room for fathers day. Which I understand you can't put on a big show with lots of snacks and a variety of drinks for so little people but it just feels like it is just thrown together the morning of and nothing is special.
Plus: do they not give it enough thought because so little dads come, or do so little dads come because they give not enough thought?
Thats the question isn't it. Who came first The dad or the biscuit. Wait dont answer that
I believe thatās where Limp Biscuit comes from.
Iāll be at Donuts With Dad this Friday, I hope weāre at the same one when you say something.
My kid's gift from preschool is a laminated piece of paper with quotes from all of the kids about their dads. While it's a nice gesture, I'd much rather see them making something themselves instead of getting a piece of paper the teacher typed up that is a one-size-fits-all gift for all the kids. At least it was the same treatment for Mother's Day so there's not a double standard going on like at OP's daycare.
As a stay at home dad that would enrage me as well. I got a real nice little photo of my daughter from her prescool with a little frame she decorated
Iād be pissed! I do all the pickups and often catch some shit like I mustāve called off work or what a treat dad is her from other moms and the teachers. Today was my daughters last day of school and we got to go inside and my daughter was ecstatic she got to show me her classroom and all their stations and books and toys. Only dad there. Same shit from some of the other teachers that donāt see me everyday. I just kind of roll my eyes. I know whatās most important but a gift like that would cause a dressing down to whatever teacher thought that was a good idea. I donāt mind most of the comments because I know Iām modeling what I want my kids to learn. To show up. Having them make a āgiftā about how dads donāt show up is just plain wrong. Fuck them teachers
I'd definitely ask who made the choice on that before getting mad. If the wife got some input or the kid picked it because of an innocent reason (or you really need the reminder), then the daycare wouldn't be at fault. ...but yeah, my first assumption is that the daycare needs a conversation.
Fwiw (as lurker mom) I'm bitter too. For Mothers day daycaare had us come and eat finger sandwiches and fruit plates while making bead jewelry and let the kids paint our fingernails. Well they had the fathers day equivalent today. Grilled hot dogs and hamburgers out on the playground and painting big pieces of wood. I want a gddamn hot dog.
I need that for my wife. She is on the phone 24-7
It would definitely fit my wife much better than me- āput the phone down and pay some attention to me this Motherās Dayā- but thatās obviously not acceptable yet somehow OPs gift is.
You are not reading too much into this, I would say someone at your daycare didnāt read into this at all. I would be pissed, that is a crazy blanket insult to all fathers, implying that dads everywhere are disengaged. I would probably write a letter expressing how bad it made you feel, how the āgiftā perpetuates negative stereotypes, and how even worse imposes those stereotypes onto your family. That sucks, and honestly, it shouldnāt be hard for them to see how it sucks; I would assume positive intent with them, but explain that the ājokeā went way too far
*am mom* My daughter came home from daycare with a little hanging piece of wood with a bunch of pebbles glued on to it. It says āMy dad rocks.ā He teared up. Iām lowkey jealous. You arenāt overreacting. Your daycare did you dirty.
Still use my decorated popsicle covered pencil can my son made me 30 years ago. Sat on my desk at work for over 20 years.
I donāt think women get how rare it is as a male to receive a compliment, hug, praise etc. It just doesnāt happen that much
Dude thatās fuckin lame. I hate holidays like this with a passion, but to insinuate dads donāt care as much or arenāt as important in a childās life is totally bogus.
It's bullshit because it presupposes the recipient, a parent of equal standing to the mother, is somehow less present and more worthy of being the butt of a stereotype "joke". All without actually knowing if this is the case. I did all pickup/dropoff for my son in day care and they would ask his mom to sign things. Like wtf I'm right here ...
Men (especially Dads) have been getting shit on for years. Public perception, sitcoms, commercials etc Somehow we all have to pay for the sins of our fathers and grandfathers Funny how my wife is on her phone twice as much as me, especially around the kids.
> Somehow we all have to pay for the sins of our fathers and grandfathers But did they really do anything bad? Or was it the same unsubstantiated implications that we see today? Thinking back to my grandparents, my grandfathers set a pretty high standard that I try to live up to. It wasn't like Mad Men, that's a fiction.
Few years back went to pick up my younger two from daycare after work and let them know that I was taking a week off so my kids wouldn't be there next week ( I do 95% of the picking up and dropping off). One of the workers made an off collar comment to me asking am I going to be ok babysitting my 3 kids? I just shook my head and walked away got to the door and turned back around cuz I'm an idiot at times. Walked up the the lady who was talking to a few of the mom's and said do you think I'm a dead beat dad or some kind of looser who doesn't love his kids? She turned white then red said no why did you say that. I said because you asked me if I would be ok watching my kids. I don't babysit my kids being a dad isn't something I see as part time. It bothers me to no end that you wouldn't ask a mom about spending time with their kids, and just walked away. Why is it when mom's spend time with their kids it's just that but when some women see a man with their kids he must be baby sitting or watching his kids? Sorry to rant on your rant OP
I asked my wife if this is upsetting. My 14 yr old daughter overheard and suggested the Father's Day gift should have been a pipe wrench with the message, "Dad, my love for you bursts forth like water from a frozen pipe."
I am in the firm belief that we should just get rid of Father's Day and Mother's day. Combine them and just have one "Parents' Day." or two if that's what you want to do. Solves every issue around these days.
In the school my wife work at, they do a Ā«Ā someone you loveĀ dayĀ Ā» instead, because this is a quite rough area, and a lot of them donāt have moms or dads.
Take a deep cleansing breath and remind yourself, "never ascribe to malice what can explained through stupidity". It was probably meant to be funny, even though it's insulting, especially compared to the Mothers Day gift. The day care is run by thoughtless idiots. Then again, I remember my son's kindergarten being similar with the parents. I was between jobs at the time, so I dropped off and picked up my kids. I never seemed to be accepted by the group of moms there (including a couple I'd known for a couple year because of older children). One dad was, mostly because his wife was there with him. Meh. Idiots.
my daycare had them make the dad's cards with their handprints being the spores on a few mould hyphae, and it says " dad you're such a fungi" I almost cried laughing, they had no idea that I'm a hazardous material consultant and have done hundreds of mould projects over the course of my career
Wtf? Was it handwritten or did it come printed on the cell phone holder?
This is our first Fathers/Motherās Day. For Motherās Day, my daughter painted a picture frame for her momā¦we will see what I get from daycare on Friday.
Well, thatās a dick move.
Sorry to hear this. From all the good dads on here, we all know what youāre feeling given dad sacrifices and mot always the thank yous or recognition. Will the kiddo be in the same day care next year? If so, definitely worth approaching the day care people on it. For what its worth, I would go into it with the mindset of āassuming best intentionsā, and say nicely something along the lines of, thank you for putting together a project to recognize the dads. That shows gratitude, take down peoples guards. Then ask the question on intention of the gift/did other dads get this, etc. Long term, Iād say to not worry about it. You know youāre a good dad and Iām sure your kid does too. Thats all that really matters. Good luck!
Yeah that sucks. How much truth is there in the message out of curiosity? Iād probably be hurt by that message but Iād acknowledge a bit of truth in it personally at this moment
That is a really rude present.
Sounds like the employees at your daycare are unapologetically projecting
Yea I got told one year that they were going to get me a hammer that said building memories with you or something but that didnāt fit well with what I do. What I do is 3/4 of the drop offs and pick ups. I take off and arrange my workload to make sure all my kids get to doctors appointments and are well taken care of. Twice this week I have made extra trips for forgotten things for camps. On top of that I plan and excite family vacations. I swear at times itās a thankless job. But when I get those hugs from my daughter and that excited story from my son that makes it all worth it. I sorry about the bad gift but remember the things that matter is actually how they see you. I am sure that they donāt feel neglected but overwhelming loved by you and thatās what counts.
Down here is Alabama, school ended May 26th. No father's day in the south I guess.
Fuck that daycare
That's pretty fucking weird.
That's almost like sending home a macaroni necklace with the message "Mom, make sure you wipe my butt."
That "gift" is complete horseshit. I don't know your daycare situation or your relationship with the caregivers, but I would absolutely have a frank/honest discussion with them about the so-called gift. It's mean-spirited, disrespectful, and hurtful. Even if you are an inattentive dad who's always on his phone, a Father's Day gift is not the place to give you a cold-hearted reminder to get off your phone and raise your kids right. Every Mother's Day we overlook all imperfections to give momma a special day to celebrate all the good she does and the sacrifices she makes. I believe fathers should at least get something in the same hemisphere. That said, for those dads that spend too much time on your phones, this is a good lil' reminder for you to give your head a shake and focus on priorities... Go Dads, Go!
I feel this so deeply! Our church usually does special messages for Mother's Day and Father's Day, and for the moms it's usually "thanks" and "what a great job you do," while for dads it's usually how we need to step up and do better. I get it that there are a lot of deadbeat dads out there, but there are also those of us doing a pretty good job, or at least trying to.
Itās bullshit dude.
No, that's super rough! I've got a 7 week old, so no passive-aggressive arts and crafts but... when we were leaving the hospital, they handed my partner a stack of pages about follow-up care, tests, breastfeeding, basic care for new-borns etc.. They handed me a 3 pager about not shaking the baby.
This reminds me of my old church. Every Mother's Day, there was a long sermon about how amazing Mothers are etc etc. Then on Father's Day it was a message about how dada need to step up and do better.
This year I received a completely blank piece of green card folded in half from her daycare/nursery. My daughter was still excited to give it to me but honestly I took it as a big FU from the nursery staff. They're always making some comment or dig. This time it was "oh we don't usually see you here? It's always mummy!" Yeah I know..I'm at work usually...don't make me feel like an absent father I don't have a choice!
You should ask to talk to the day care director and have the conversation you had with your wife with them. What they did was unkind
Gets even worse if you become a single father with majority or full custody. The alienation Iāve felt when trying to genuinely resource myself in the single parent community for the betterment of my kids. EVERYTHING is mom focused. Everything. Even when mom is absent.
Weirdly enough it may just be location and the typical mantra of, āmoms do more,ā they used to, yes. But now a days there a lot of dads like us that LOVE being dads and we arenāt shunning affection. For Motherās Day my daughter made her mom stickers. I got a hand made key chain with her fingerprints in the shape of a heart and a picture of my daughter thatās says, Daddy you rock!ā The entire picture was framed with rocks. So cute. Anyways, not all schools are biased.
It is annoying that our culture does this. We always got nice things for my mom usually nice plants for her garden as that suits springtime... And dad got joke boxer shorts and a bag of pistachios. I hope you get something a little more thoughtful from your partner at least.
You could always respond by having them make a gift for the teacher. The quality and message on it being down to you of course.
Insult for a Fatherās Day present. Nice.
Nah that is dog shit and presumptuous. I still enjoy imagining and games with imagination so I do the majority of play times. Things are not the same as they were 30 years ago and it's time people recognize that
Call then out. They need to know what they are doing is bs
I am so pissed for you.
That's some bullcrap. I'd let the daycare know you don't appreciate a passive aggressive present. But ofc not your daughter, she did what they told her to.
Meanwhile, the mothers can't put Tiktok down for three seconds. I really don't understand when the shift happened in terms of society and media portraying fathers as clueless and bumbling imbeciles, but I personally want to kill that shit with fire š„
My child's daycare is very mom-centric. I do all the drop offs. I do the lunchmaking. But it's still all about "what did mom pack you for lunch" and "mommy picked out such a pretty dress today"
Piling on to say that was rude. I've gotten a couple pictures that she drew sitting on my work desk from the last two father's day. One of them is on a canvas... Like a 8"x8" one that is painted. It's just purple and blue streaks and the most beautiful picture I've ever received. They did you dirty.
This boils my blood so much. Let them know OP.
That's pretty fucked up.
Some people don't understand how much a daddy does... idk what I would do without my man... I hate to think of it. AND IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT... I See waaaaayy more moms stuck on their stupid phones than dad's.I hate it. I used to walk into a friends house or my house and go straight to the kids because all the adults were stuck on their phones.... those "DAYCARE" people probably have some weird personal stuff going on, or thought it was cute when its really disrespectful...
As a dad in SF these stories of unequal treatment are pretty annoying. I canāt imagine that happening here. Thereās enough diverse families that assuming mom isnāt realistic or safe. In fact some kids get picked up/dropped off by grandparents. Nannies. Always dad. Sometimes mom or dad. Always mom. It varies a lot. I feel for you dads - sucks to be in suburbia :-/
Wow that's fucked up. Why would daycare think that's a good idea? I would probably say something to the director (in a nice way) to make sure they aren't oblivious to the underhanded gift they decided to send to all the dads...
> āOh! Itās so great to see a dad at the playground with their kid! You must be such a great father.ā Every old lady at the park
Total bullshit gift from the daycare. Every year since my son started school, I get something that says that I am Cool. I am still waiting for my āWorldās Greatest Dadā coffee mug. Someone here must be getting them instead, I will keep striving for the honor to be bestowed upon me.
That would piss me off.
That sucks and Iād complain to the daycare. Let them know itās inappropriate