The fun part is where you give them an over detailed scientific explanation which they have no clue what it means. And then someone asks them a similar question and your kid regurgitates it as if they're some kind of expert on the topic.
I absolutely love doing this. Strangers at the grocery store are amused he can even talk at all, but then he gives a long technical of why blended wing body aircraft’s haven’t outperformed conventional tube and wing…
Anyone want to hear how Kentucky is still the top college basketball program, I got an entire family of small people for that.
(is there a point where 'indoctrination' becomes a concern?)
My daughter will tell you how tornadoes are formed in what conditions like she was born with the knowledge. It's adorable.
Last bumig storm we had we were watching the radars and she kicked me out of my computer chair so she could watch the stream I was watching. She's 5 XD
You see the sky is blue because of Rayleigh scattering, well you could also include Mie scattering but that's a bit complicated for the moment.
Here, let's listen to Dark side of the Moon and I'll teach you about the electromagnetic spectrum, specifically the visible light band.
An hour of facemelting solos later.
Ok, now do you see how the more energetic, frenetic solos of Syd Barrett are more powerful than the deep, soulful jazz solos of Roger Waters?
That's like how blue light has more energy than red light!
And when the light from the sun hits the atmosphere of our planet, the more energetic light has a higher chance of hitting particles (or exciting the Audience) which shoots off rays of blue light in every direction. While the red light is more stable, and less likely to excite the audience, but maintains a stable display of warm, peaceful light.
See? It makes perfect sense.
> An hour of facemelting solos later.
KIDDO: Dad what do we not do when a bird shits on you
ME: i gotchu
just as Mr. Murray is about to launch into one of the best solos ever, kiddo will interrupt.
My daughter asked me what day it was a while back and I told her it was Wednesday. So now every once in a while she’ll ask me what day it is, and I’ll tell her. And she says “no, it’s Wednesday!” Ok kid, whatever you say. But you bet your ass every Wednesday I ask her what day it is so I can see how excited she gets when I tell her “you’re right, it’s Wednesday!!” 🤣
I usually catch myself a couple word into a detailed or complicated answer and stop to try and rephrase it into a few basic words that I hope they understand and then laugh at myself because they were ignoring me anyway
Try banning it, then. If they want to ask why, that's fine, but they need to ask it as a complete question. The only answer to “Why?” is now “Why what?”.
Example: If the answer to a question is “Because the sky is blue”, the next question can't be “Why?” but needs to be “Why is the sky blue?” or “Why does it matter that the sky is blue?”.
Not only does it temper the amount and incidence rate of questions somewhat, but I also like to think that it makes the questions matter, because then they actually have to process the information they're given in order to formulate the next question.
This is why I recommend everyone read Terry Pratchett. British humor in general, and the Discworld series specifically, are very deft in how they wield absurdism.
My youngest always does this when I tell him not to do something until I end up saying “Because I said so.” He’s subversive just like I was though. Sorry mom!
I don't have any experience with Autistic kids, but when my kid asks the same question over and over again it's usually because I answered the question he actually asked, but not the question in his head that he WANTED to ask but didn't know the right words for it or how to phrase it.
To be clear, even after I figured that out, it has not cut down on the number of questions he asks, but the conversations are now more in-depth. 😂
This is an interesting perspective I'll have to explore next time when I'm getting my 3 year olds question on repeat. I was seriously wondering if he was autistic after that comment. He sounds like a broken record sometimes.
After you answer the question the first time, try asking him "was that what you wanted to know or did you want to know more about it?"
At 3, their brains are like vacuums. They want to know literally EVERYTHING about whatever it is they're interested in at the moment.
He just turned 3 and he's already been doing this for most of hlyhe time he was 2 though. He also repeats statements until I acknowledge them as well so it may not be that but I'm definitely going to ask.
We were on a 3 hour flight. Kiddo was 4 and was sitting me while my wife was a row behind and on the other side, getting a much-needed respite from The Inquisition on the previous flight.
He was super well behaved, but got bored with his tablet, got bored looking out the window, and so started asking deep existential questions. I don't remember what they were. But they were nonstop. Every answer I gave was met with "but why?" And it went on for 20 or so minutes. I kept answering and he kept asking. Well he finally said "Dada are you done with talking?"
"No, buddy. Why?"
"I'm tired of asking questions."
> He also repeats statements until I acknowledge them as well so it may not be that but I'm definitely going to ask.
Sometimes kid statements don't need a verbal acknowledgement. You know that. I know that. Kiddo doesn't know that.
What worked for us (worked, since he's largely grown out of needing verbal acknowledgements for statements like "quack" or "I'm only going to say numbers today") is I told him I'd wink at him as a reply.
He liked that and though he couldn't wink, he'd reply to MY statements and requests with "I'm winking at you in my brain."
Lol like he was helping you by asking questions.
Right now I'll give a grunt of acknowledgement which he accepts but I haven't talked about it specifically. I'll try that.
I have an autistic kid, and I’m autistic. We both have adhd as well. I fucking love those questions. It’s dope af. I’m also a social worker and this is a common line of question in neurodivergent people.
The repeated questions usually keep coming back cause the answers people are don’t make sense to us.
Next time try acknowledging the lack of sense and tie it into how sometimes people just do stuff that doesn’t make sense. That most times, when it really comes down to it, almost everyone agrees it’s better to be safe and have weird reasons for things then to make sense.
The thing is, it’s not questions that she doesn’t know the answer to or sometimes that I even know. She asks about every five minutes what she herself is actively doing, what I’m doing, what her imaginary friend is doing, what we’re standing on, what we say when we pick up the phone. I know she just likes the repetition but it drives me bonkers
Exactly. It is about the repetition, but it’s also about the connection. Might not seem like it from the outside, but she wouldn’t connect with you like that or ask you such things if she didn’t trust the shit out of you.
It can get absolutely be maddening though. Like even though I’m autistic as well, my son has a way of getting under my skin during a similar situation, where I have to guide every detail of his play. But the very fact they take us to task like that over such simple and repetitive things, things that they’re literally in charge of or actively experiencing is because they want to share that connection and experience with us.
They just do it in a way that makes senses to them.
A friend came to me recently with a similar story. He and his wife are finding out that their kid may be autistic (as well as one of them) right now. And he was just so fed up with his kid’s behavior and rigidness. I said to him, It’s cool. Let it out in this space. But keep this in mind: Would you rather be remembered as a dismissive person who didn’t take your kid’s needs seriously or as a dad who made mistakes, but always tried to be there for them even when you didn’t understand.
As someone with autism, it was because the answer that was given wasnt explained in a way i understood, and i thought if i asked another time then my parents would have the energy to actually engage with me.
I’m a social worker and an autistic person myself. In those sorts of moments your kid is really just trying to connect with you in a way that makes sense to them.
Autistic people go from the inside out, essentially building a forest out of leaves. So when your daughter seeks answers to questions like that she’s exploring the way the two of you connect. The fact she even considers your opinion on such matters is a pretty huge deal. She trusts you, she wouldn’t ask if she didn’t.
I’d say indulge that. It’s good stuff. Also, if you feel up to it get her to take a guess at your thoughts or work out your line of thinking. She’ll feel connected and it’ll also help promote flexibility by showing her other ways of thinking and responding.
I have looked forward to this curious stage ever since before my son was born. I was ready to work on critical thinking and learning things myself. What I was not ready for is questions like, “why is this water?” “Why is this an elbow?” Really some truly puzzling questions. I still don’t know why an elbow is.
Ooh there's some interesting stuff to discuss there between the evolutionary development of a through gut, to the evolution of bipedalism leading to much larger than typical gluteal muscles.
One of the things I learned in biology is that our butt is the first feature that forms. One of the first ways that animals are categorized is by whether they grow their head first or anus first, and we're anus first.
Exactly. Then I lay in his bed, wide eyed staring at the ceiling, as he drifts off to sleep forgetting the question and unaware of the panic he set into motion in my brain. Parenthood is beautiful hahah.
It you are not laying awake in bed are you even parenting? What are you doing with your life if you’re not in a state of perpetual anxiety or tiredness? Occasionally sprinkled with joy, maybe.
These are actually easy enough questions and a kid will understand the answer better than many adults. But we usually mistake our thoughts for facts too often, mistake the finger for the mom. And what not.
Anyway, Why is this water? Why is this an elbow?
Cause we needed a way to talk about it and that’s what people settled on.
Why is this talking? Why are we people?
Cause our thoughts didn’t stop till we could share them
Cause we’re not trees, or plants, or beds, or tables, or weather, or elbows, or water, or [keep inserting literally anything else till they get the picture]. Bonus points if you stop listing other things after while and get real zen with it and rip a loud fart.
Coincidentally that’s also a good way to teach about self-identity and its relationship to the world and other people. Fart included.
My 3 year old (with hearing issues): Daddy why does it rain.
Me: Moisture accumulates in the sky and makes clouds. When the right conditions happen, that moisture condenses and falls from the sky.
3 year old: What?
Me: Moisture accumulates in the sky and makes clouds. When the right conditions happen, that moisture condenses and falls from the sky.
3 year old: What?
Me: Did you not hear me? Do you want me to explain the words I used?
3 year old: What?
Me: Are your hearing aids working?
3 year old: Yup!
Me: Do you understand what the words I said mean?
3 year old: Yup!
Me: Can you hear me?
3 year old: I hear you dadda.
Me: Can you repeat what I said?
3 year old: Mostuur accumalts in sky with the clouds. Then it rains down and makes puddles. Daddy can we jump in puddles now?
Me: Close enough, yes.
3 year old: What?
Hey, I've been off reddit for like two years but made an account just to reply to you as a fellow human with hearing loss. Just wanted to explain why she says "what" and then knows exactly what you said, it's because there's a delay. Sound signal is received but it's like my brain has a lag time in processing the sound into words and then perceiving the meaning of said words.
So when you're repeating yourself the second time, she is actually using that time to process what you said the first time.
Cutting out excess sound when speaking is a must. Making eye contact so she can read your lips and your sound is more direct also helps. Allowing a time buffer like "Hey, Name ... ... ... ... (Insert whatever thing you want to say)" also gives her brain a little time to focus on you before you say what you plan to say to her. Three tips I practice with my kid who hasn't been tested yet but also seems to be going the way of hearing loss. In my case, it's genetic so I wouldn't be surprised.
I'm sure you get lots of reddit advice but I hope that helps. I remember being a little kid and people so frustrated with me when they're turned away, doing dishes or whatever and I'm saying "what" 80 times.
I'm glad you went through the effort to respond. We looked for advice when she was diagnosed (at birth) but it was pretty dry in our social/family circle as no one we know or are related to have hearing loss (both my parents have hearing aides now due to age related hearing loss). Luckily, the support of the state program here in Washington really stepped in and helped us all get up to speed. Everyday is learning something new, though!
If you don't mind me asking, are you super sensitive to sound as well as hard of hearing? My daughter is very sensitive to some noises, even things you would not think of as being "loud" can be very disturbing to her. She also really dislikes certain sounds, like she will run and hide when we need to run the blender (which is a fancy, relatively quiet) but is totally fine with the vacuum and food processor.
I definitely have noise sensitivity. I also need time to decompress after being in a noisy environment. Hiding from the blender may just be because she's three, or maybe it's higher pitched? Who knows with kids sometimes!
My 2yo: "daddy?"
Me: "yeah buddy?"
2yo: "I love you"
Me, heart melting: "I love you too"
2yo: "... I just love you"
Me: "that's sweet, I love you too"
2yo: mumbles about dinosaurs for 1 minute
2yo: "daddy I love you"
Me: heart no longer melting "me too, buddy"
2yo "... I just love you"
I don't want the kid to ever NOT say "I love you"... but right now it's... diluted?
Eventually they get to the point where “I love you daddy” is a delaying tactic and gets an increasingly terse “I love you too kid now go to bed and go to sleep it’s after 9 and I’m running out of patience”
No, but I'm also supposed to sit with him while he falls asleep... and he seems to realize that I tell him "shhhh, it's time to close our eyes" if he chats about something else, but I don't tell him to shush if it's "I love you". So it starts to get a bit repetitive.
Wait I got this! After I while, after so many repeated whys, I started answering "because I love you yeah yeah yeah, yeah" to the tune of the Beatles song.
It usually answers the question behind my motivations for doing things, and they love the song now too.
Why?
It's making me feel like I may have to look at myself and how deep I research I to my own decisions... after about three "whys", I have no more of a clue than they do...
I made the mistake of letting him know I was a history major in college.
So now he asks stuff like: “Dad, what was life like in 1710?”
Me: “Where, what part of the world? I’m really only good at-“
Son: “What about the 1720s?”
Me: “Uh, okay, again I need some direct-“
Son: “The 1730s”
Me: “Okay, fine. Let’s say it’s China - that’s the Qing Dynasty, nothing really huge happened-“
Son: “UH! What about the 1740s”
Me: *pauses and turns to my son* “Let me tell you about the Battle of Culloden!”
Son: “Yeah!”
Today my son (6) broke something. He only broke it so he could see what would happen. I told him that I appreciate his curious nature but we can’t break stuff just because. I told him that in the future to bring it to me and we will decide together. Not even 20 minutes later he brings in something else and says he really wants to break it and will I help. Since it wasn’t important we of course broke it together.
Oh I wish my kid would ask a lot of questions. Mine has development dysphasia...he is delayed in his speech and expressive communication...I just really really want him to speak with me and be understood by everyone!!!....
I find "why do you think?" is a good counter when you know they already know. Sometimes it's just the little kid version of making conversation and they'll go with it.
My kid just turned 2 and is already on the "what's that?" "why" train. I figured I had a few more years before getting here.
"Dada wossat?"
> explain
"Dada wossat?" \*points at something different\*
> explain
"why dada?"
> explain
"are you ok dada?"
> yes, just tired
"wossat dada?"
...
We were in an airport and saw the world's best dad. He had his little girl with him and she was full of endless questions. Every time she'd ask him, it would start exactly the same:
"Daddy?"
"Yes?"
"Why is xxx?"
"Because yyy."
"Oh."
Two seconds later:
"Daddy?"
"Yes?"
...
And it went in for an hour. Absolutely adorable. The guy was endlessly patient with her, didn't give bs answers, admitted if he didn't know, etc. But he never overtly or subtlely tried to get her to stop. Just an amazing interaction.
You start off with all the ideals, thinking you have a plan. Then you discover that the real work is in what do you do when the pursuit of these ideals conflict with one another.
I remember when my dad started responding "look it up on Encarta". I didn't know how else I could connect with him so asking why was pretty much the only bonding mechanism I had, and I lost it overnight.
Be sure your kid can approach you in another way if not with endless 'why' questions!
I thought it was just me that needed nearly a decade to adjust but seeing others there too helps, starting to feel like a pack more than an individual but takes some time. I came from a clan of 6 too. 3rd due in July
I thought the question phase was bad. My kid old is now never wrong in his opinion. Getting hit with "no, it's actually this" 15x per day has gotten old fast 😂 it's funny how confidently incorrect he is though
It doesn't stop at 3. I'm currently sat here at lunch with my 5yo daughter and she has literally not stopped talking since she woke up this morning. Everything requires an answer and if you dare.to.grt distracted and fail to answer she will just repeat the same sentence over and over and over again.
"Gee, I don't know. What do you think?"
"That's a good question. Let's go find out!"
Gotta make them work for it or else they'll be running you down for days.
Yo, I get that this dude is a popular meme, but given that he has a long history of grooming, predatory behavior of children, maybe we stop using it in a parenting sub? This guy deserves to be in the wastebin of history for pursuing children, not being our go-to pop culture reference.
Questions are great. The enemy is "Why?" Because they keep saying it until the answer is beyond your own comprehension.
I told my kids I only answer questions that are more than one word.
For me I don't think it's even really the amount of questions that kills me (well...usually).
It's when they ask a question and I'm in the middle of an answer and they ask it again. Or they ask another completely unrelated but similarly complex question, again in the middle of my answer. Like listen here kid, did you actually want an answer or is this just a distraction technique? Where's your sister, what are you trying to pull?
The fun part is where you give them an over detailed scientific explanation which they have no clue what it means. And then someone asks them a similar question and your kid regurgitates it as if they're some kind of expert on the topic.
Fake it until you make it! For real they remember everything, walking recording device.
And they're recording even when you don't think they are!
Little Jack: Asshoooooole
I absolutely love doing this. Strangers at the grocery store are amused he can even talk at all, but then he gives a long technical of why blended wing body aircraft’s haven’t outperformed conventional tube and wing…
I'm going to personally need an eli3 version of this please lol
The three year old didn’t need an explanation, why do you?
Anyone want to hear a 4 year old explain why Steph curry is the best point guard of all time over magic Johnson? I got the guy
LeBron jamessssss
Not a point guard
ha, that guy doesn't know shit about football!
Even with the points on the football giving it away
Anyone want to hear how Kentucky is still the top college basketball program, I got an entire family of small people for that. (is there a point where 'indoctrination' becomes a concern?)
It’s not a concern, it’s a responsibility. How else would you possibly make new raiders fans?
Are they marching? Tattooing each other?
Got that temporary face tattooing.
Better hope it’s temp or there goes that scholarship to West Point.
If you need anything about the meteor that killed the dinosaurs, or dinosaurs in general; mines got you covered.
My daughter will tell you how tornadoes are formed in what conditions like she was born with the knowledge. It's adorable. Last bumig storm we had we were watching the radars and she kicked me out of my computer chair so she could watch the stream I was watching. She's 5 XD
You see the sky is blue because of Rayleigh scattering, well you could also include Mie scattering but that's a bit complicated for the moment. Here, let's listen to Dark side of the Moon and I'll teach you about the electromagnetic spectrum, specifically the visible light band. An hour of facemelting solos later. Ok, now do you see how the more energetic, frenetic solos of Syd Barrett are more powerful than the deep, soulful jazz solos of Roger Waters? That's like how blue light has more energy than red light! And when the light from the sun hits the atmosphere of our planet, the more energetic light has a higher chance of hitting particles (or exciting the Audience) which shoots off rays of blue light in every direction. While the red light is more stable, and less likely to excite the audience, but maintains a stable display of warm, peaceful light. See? It makes perfect sense.
Not to be *that guy* but David Gilmour had filled in for Syd Barrett by the time of Dark Side of the Moon.
I thought this was extremely common knowledge. Then realized I'm a Floydhead.
Floydiac
> An hour of facemelting solos later. KIDDO: Dad what do we not do when a bird shits on you ME: i gotchu just as Mr. Murray is about to launch into one of the best solos ever, kiddo will interrupt.
My daughter asked me what day it was a while back and I told her it was Wednesday. So now every once in a while she’ll ask me what day it is, and I’ll tell her. And she says “no, it’s Wednesday!” Ok kid, whatever you say. But you bet your ass every Wednesday I ask her what day it is so I can see how excited she gets when I tell her “you’re right, it’s Wednesday!!” 🤣
Sounds like reddit in a nutshell lol.
lol yeah I do this all the time, as well as answering to the absolute end of the "why?s"
I get so excited following THAT trail!
I usually catch myself a couple word into a detailed or complicated answer and stop to try and rephrase it into a few basic words that I hope they understand and then laugh at myself because they were ignoring me anyway
And already KNEW a better answer than YOU gave because they wanted to see if YOU knew but realize you’re just giving your opinion.
Honestly this just describes my wife when she needs to know "computer stuff" for work.
Wow, my kids just tune out. At least, I think they do. Maybe they absorb some of it.
Aren't we all? I know the earth goes around the sun and happipy regurgitate that, but wouldn't be able to give any proof.
And that's exactly my child explains the functioning of the eye to people
Hey they're still learning! They might not fully understand the intricacies but being able to relay the information is a valuable skill!
Try having an autistic kid that asks the same question and getting the same answer over and over and over. I seriously might lose my mind
Why? Why? Why? All of the sudden, never telling your kid "Because I said so" goes out the damn window.
After reading another daddit post the other day, my new response is "why do you think?"
Yeah that doesn't work with my kid. His response is "if I knew, why would I be asking?"
Try banning it, then. If they want to ask why, that's fine, but they need to ask it as a complete question. The only answer to “Why?” is now “Why what?”. Example: If the answer to a question is “Because the sky is blue”, the next question can't be “Why?” but needs to be “Why is the sky blue?” or “Why does it matter that the sky is blue?”. Not only does it temper the amount and incidence rate of questions somewhat, but I also like to think that it makes the questions matter, because then they actually have to process the information they're given in order to formulate the next question.
Then give me your best guess.
I use that shit all the time. It’s a life saver.
Why? Because I said so. Why? Because I said so. Stalemate I guess
I think software engineers call this the "bowing butler" issue.
Ummm, what? Care to elaborate?
Haven’t heard that before
My kid's not autistic but I told him about the "five whys" technique and somehow he bought it and only asks why five times.
The key is to go into a philosophical tirade after you can't answer the wys anymore.
This is why I recommend everyone read Terry Pratchett. British humor in general, and the Discworld series specifically, are very deft in how they wield absurdism.
My youngest always does this when I tell him not to do something until I end up saying “Because I said so.” He’s subversive just like I was though. Sorry mom!
Amen brother. I really made a go at it and think I made until my oldest was 7 maybe? Sometimes the little fuckers just wear me out.
I don't have any experience with Autistic kids, but when my kid asks the same question over and over again it's usually because I answered the question he actually asked, but not the question in his head that he WANTED to ask but didn't know the right words for it or how to phrase it. To be clear, even after I figured that out, it has not cut down on the number of questions he asks, but the conversations are now more in-depth. 😂
This is an interesting perspective I'll have to explore next time when I'm getting my 3 year olds question on repeat. I was seriously wondering if he was autistic after that comment. He sounds like a broken record sometimes.
After you answer the question the first time, try asking him "was that what you wanted to know or did you want to know more about it?" At 3, their brains are like vacuums. They want to know literally EVERYTHING about whatever it is they're interested in at the moment.
He just turned 3 and he's already been doing this for most of hlyhe time he was 2 though. He also repeats statements until I acknowledge them as well so it may not be that but I'm definitely going to ask.
We were on a 3 hour flight. Kiddo was 4 and was sitting me while my wife was a row behind and on the other side, getting a much-needed respite from The Inquisition on the previous flight. He was super well behaved, but got bored with his tablet, got bored looking out the window, and so started asking deep existential questions. I don't remember what they were. But they were nonstop. Every answer I gave was met with "but why?" And it went on for 20 or so minutes. I kept answering and he kept asking. Well he finally said "Dada are you done with talking?" "No, buddy. Why?" "I'm tired of asking questions." > He also repeats statements until I acknowledge them as well so it may not be that but I'm definitely going to ask. Sometimes kid statements don't need a verbal acknowledgement. You know that. I know that. Kiddo doesn't know that. What worked for us (worked, since he's largely grown out of needing verbal acknowledgements for statements like "quack" or "I'm only going to say numbers today") is I told him I'd wink at him as a reply. He liked that and though he couldn't wink, he'd reply to MY statements and requests with "I'm winking at you in my brain."
Lol like he was helping you by asking questions. Right now I'll give a grunt of acknowledgement which he accepts but I haven't talked about it specifically. I'll try that.
Mine will do that until he gets a sufficiently detailed answer to satisfy him.
After the second time I answer with 'What do you think?' which tends to work
I have an autistic kid, and I’m autistic. We both have adhd as well. I fucking love those questions. It’s dope af. I’m also a social worker and this is a common line of question in neurodivergent people. The repeated questions usually keep coming back cause the answers people are don’t make sense to us. Next time try acknowledging the lack of sense and tie it into how sometimes people just do stuff that doesn’t make sense. That most times, when it really comes down to it, almost everyone agrees it’s better to be safe and have weird reasons for things then to make sense.
The thing is, it’s not questions that she doesn’t know the answer to or sometimes that I even know. She asks about every five minutes what she herself is actively doing, what I’m doing, what her imaginary friend is doing, what we’re standing on, what we say when we pick up the phone. I know she just likes the repetition but it drives me bonkers
Exactly. It is about the repetition, but it’s also about the connection. Might not seem like it from the outside, but she wouldn’t connect with you like that or ask you such things if she didn’t trust the shit out of you. It can get absolutely be maddening though. Like even though I’m autistic as well, my son has a way of getting under my skin during a similar situation, where I have to guide every detail of his play. But the very fact they take us to task like that over such simple and repetitive things, things that they’re literally in charge of or actively experiencing is because they want to share that connection and experience with us. They just do it in a way that makes senses to them. A friend came to me recently with a similar story. He and his wife are finding out that their kid may be autistic (as well as one of them) right now. And he was just so fed up with his kid’s behavior and rigidness. I said to him, It’s cool. Let it out in this space. But keep this in mind: Would you rather be remembered as a dismissive person who didn’t take your kid’s needs seriously or as a dad who made mistakes, but always tried to be there for them even when you didn’t understand.
As someone with autism, it was because the answer that was given wasnt explained in a way i understood, and i thought if i asked another time then my parents would have the energy to actually engage with me.
The question is usually about what her imaginary friend is doing or what she herself is doing
I’m a social worker and an autistic person myself. In those sorts of moments your kid is really just trying to connect with you in a way that makes sense to them. Autistic people go from the inside out, essentially building a forest out of leaves. So when your daughter seeks answers to questions like that she’s exploring the way the two of you connect. The fact she even considers your opinion on such matters is a pretty huge deal. She trusts you, she wouldn’t ask if she didn’t. I’d say indulge that. It’s good stuff. Also, if you feel up to it get her to take a guess at your thoughts or work out your line of thinking. She’ll feel connected and it’ll also help promote flexibility by showing her other ways of thinking and responding.
That’s actually pretty helpful, thank you
My daughter will ask questions she knows the answer to and feigns not remembering them
I have looked forward to this curious stage ever since before my son was born. I was ready to work on critical thinking and learning things myself. What I was not ready for is questions like, “why is this water?” “Why is this an elbow?” Really some truly puzzling questions. I still don’t know why an elbow is.
I got "Where did my butt come from?" the other night from our daughter. Definitely stumped me with that one.
Ooh there's some interesting stuff to discuss there between the evolutionary development of a through gut, to the evolution of bipedalism leading to much larger than typical gluteal muscles.
“Your mother”
[Juvenile](https://youtu.be/dt5nU0A3EC0?si=XJ1yVl2BpRN5vDry) told us years ago
One of the things I learned in biology is that our butt is the first feature that forms. One of the first ways that animals are categorized is by whether they grow their head first or anus first, and we're anus first.
Some people just stay that way too.
Huh... Well, TIL.
And some just don't care to develop a separate mouth and anus
Same place the rest of you came from!
"From mommy"
Mama made it in her belly, now you're growing it when you eat your veggies
Google "why is butt"
I swear some kids wake up with one goal in mind: Give Dad an existential crisis.
And then he looks you dead in the eye and asks “Why are you?”
Exactly. Then I lay in his bed, wide eyed staring at the ceiling, as he drifts off to sleep forgetting the question and unaware of the panic he set into motion in my brain. Parenthood is beautiful hahah.
It you are not laying awake in bed are you even parenting? What are you doing with your life if you’re not in a state of perpetual anxiety or tiredness? Occasionally sprinkled with joy, maybe.
Crazy how those sprinkles make up for everything
These are actually easy enough questions and a kid will understand the answer better than many adults. But we usually mistake our thoughts for facts too often, mistake the finger for the mom. And what not. Anyway, Why is this water? Why is this an elbow? Cause we needed a way to talk about it and that’s what people settled on.
“Why is this talking?” “Why are we people?” Hahaha But you’re right, that is a good way to answer. Thanks that’s helpful.
Why is this talking? Why are we people? Cause our thoughts didn’t stop till we could share them Cause we’re not trees, or plants, or beds, or tables, or weather, or elbows, or water, or [keep inserting literally anything else till they get the picture]. Bonus points if you stop listing other things after while and get real zen with it and rip a loud fart. Coincidentally that’s also a good way to teach about self-identity and its relationship to the world and other people. Fart included.
Why does the car have a front seat?
My 3 year old (with hearing issues): Daddy why does it rain. Me: Moisture accumulates in the sky and makes clouds. When the right conditions happen, that moisture condenses and falls from the sky. 3 year old: What? Me: Moisture accumulates in the sky and makes clouds. When the right conditions happen, that moisture condenses and falls from the sky. 3 year old: What? Me: Did you not hear me? Do you want me to explain the words I used? 3 year old: What? Me: Are your hearing aids working? 3 year old: Yup! Me: Do you understand what the words I said mean? 3 year old: Yup! Me: Can you hear me? 3 year old: I hear you dadda. Me: Can you repeat what I said? 3 year old: Mostuur accumalts in sky with the clouds. Then it rains down and makes puddles. Daddy can we jump in puddles now? Me: Close enough, yes. 3 year old: What?
I’m not even mad, that’s impressive.
She's a complete troll.
Why did this make me think of a fawlty towers episode 😂
Hey, I've been off reddit for like two years but made an account just to reply to you as a fellow human with hearing loss. Just wanted to explain why she says "what" and then knows exactly what you said, it's because there's a delay. Sound signal is received but it's like my brain has a lag time in processing the sound into words and then perceiving the meaning of said words. So when you're repeating yourself the second time, she is actually using that time to process what you said the first time. Cutting out excess sound when speaking is a must. Making eye contact so she can read your lips and your sound is more direct also helps. Allowing a time buffer like "Hey, Name ... ... ... ... (Insert whatever thing you want to say)" also gives her brain a little time to focus on you before you say what you plan to say to her. Three tips I practice with my kid who hasn't been tested yet but also seems to be going the way of hearing loss. In my case, it's genetic so I wouldn't be surprised. I'm sure you get lots of reddit advice but I hope that helps. I remember being a little kid and people so frustrated with me when they're turned away, doing dishes or whatever and I'm saying "what" 80 times.
I'm glad you went through the effort to respond. We looked for advice when she was diagnosed (at birth) but it was pretty dry in our social/family circle as no one we know or are related to have hearing loss (both my parents have hearing aides now due to age related hearing loss). Luckily, the support of the state program here in Washington really stepped in and helped us all get up to speed. Everyday is learning something new, though! If you don't mind me asking, are you super sensitive to sound as well as hard of hearing? My daughter is very sensitive to some noises, even things you would not think of as being "loud" can be very disturbing to her. She also really dislikes certain sounds, like she will run and hide when we need to run the blender (which is a fancy, relatively quiet) but is totally fine with the vacuum and food processor.
I definitely have noise sensitivity. I also need time to decompress after being in a noisy environment. Hiding from the blender may just be because she's three, or maybe it's higher pitched? Who knows with kids sometimes!
Yeah, that's possible! Three year olds are wild, haha. Thanks for responding!
My 2yo: "daddy?" Me: "yeah buddy?" 2yo: "I love you" Me, heart melting: "I love you too" 2yo: "... I just love you" Me: "that's sweet, I love you too" 2yo: mumbles about dinosaurs for 1 minute 2yo: "daddy I love you" Me: heart no longer melting "me too, buddy" 2yo "... I just love you" I don't want the kid to ever NOT say "I love you"... but right now it's... diluted?
Eventually they get to the point where “I love you daddy” is a delaying tactic and gets an increasingly terse “I love you too kid now go to bed and go to sleep it’s after 9 and I’m running out of patience”
Kid needs a lesson in supply and demand
I feel that haha
[удалено]
No, but I'm also supposed to sit with him while he falls asleep... and he seems to realize that I tell him "shhhh, it's time to close our eyes" if he chats about something else, but I don't tell him to shush if it's "I love you". So it starts to get a bit repetitive.
Why?
"To make little kids ask questions. " - my dad
But...why?
How dare you. Haha
Wait I got this! After I while, after so many repeated whys, I started answering "because I love you yeah yeah yeah, yeah" to the tune of the Beatles song. It usually answers the question behind my motivations for doing things, and they love the song now too.
Beat me to it.
Because of the rabbits. https://youtu.be/2yckqyg75oE?si=1jMIbJU7lp8G_GdG
Ah Drake. The man who enjoy underage girls.
Kendrick won
Yeah he did.
lol good timing with using drake in a dad meme
Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
Why? Cause I rap about reality Like me and my grandma drinkin' a cup of tea There ain't no party like my nana's tea party
Hey...
Ho. I’m the mother flippin’
Unexpected Conchords
Why do you think?
Why?
Why? It's making me feel like I may have to look at myself and how deep I research I to my own decisions... after about three "whys", I have no more of a clue than they do...
I made the mistake of letting him know I was a history major in college. So now he asks stuff like: “Dad, what was life like in 1710?” Me: “Where, what part of the world? I’m really only good at-“ Son: “What about the 1720s?” Me: “Uh, okay, again I need some direct-“ Son: “The 1730s” Me: “Okay, fine. Let’s say it’s China - that’s the Qing Dynasty, nothing really huge happened-“ Son: “UH! What about the 1740s” Me: *pauses and turns to my son* “Let me tell you about the Battle of Culloden!” Son: “Yeah!”
Kudos to you if you intentionally used the Drake meme on the dad subreddit on this day of all days LOL
Today my son (6) broke something. He only broke it so he could see what would happen. I told him that I appreciate his curious nature but we can’t break stuff just because. I told him that in the future to bring it to me and we will decide together. Not even 20 minutes later he brings in something else and says he really wants to break it and will I help. Since it wasn’t important we of course broke it together.
Age 3, Age 4, Age 5, Age 6, Age 7, Age 8 ... Kids are lucky their cute 😍 Hang in there dad!
Oh I wish my kid would ask a lot of questions. Mine has development dysphasia...he is delayed in his speech and expressive communication...I just really really want him to speak with me and be understood by everyone!!!....
I don't mind the "another question" part. I'll admit that I do get a bit tired by getting *the same* question over and over again.
I find "why do you think?" is a good counter when you know they already know. Sometimes it's just the little kid version of making conversation and they'll go with it.
But if they asked it a different way it’s clearly a completely different question
Exactly
My kid just turned 2 and is already on the "what's that?" "why" train. I figured I had a few more years before getting here. "Dada wossat?" > explain "Dada wossat?" \*points at something different\* > explain "why dada?" > explain "are you ok dada?" > yes, just tired "wossat dada?" ...
The magic of small children. Gotta enjoy it for as long as you can, they grow up fast
Drake meme is perfect for the post of wanting to ignore your children
We still doing Drake memes after all we know about him now! Lol
My three-year-old doesn’t ask many questions, he already knows everything.
We were in an airport and saw the world's best dad. He had his little girl with him and she was full of endless questions. Every time she'd ask him, it would start exactly the same: "Daddy?" "Yes?" "Why is xxx?" "Because yyy." "Oh." Two seconds later: "Daddy?" "Yes?" ... And it went in for an hour. Absolutely adorable. The guy was endlessly patient with her, didn't give bs answers, admitted if he didn't know, etc. But he never overtly or subtlely tried to get her to stop. Just an amazing interaction.
We really have to stop using this meme format. Drake's the new R Kelly.
it sucks when they turn you into a hypocrite
Just wait until they're actually in school. Now they're talking non-stop AND correcting you when You're wrong. Oh boy, let me tell you...
You start off with all the ideals, thinking you have a plan. Then you discover that the real work is in what do you do when the pursuit of these ideals conflict with one another.
😂😂😂
Mine just turned 4, has arrived at the Why phase. Dear god..
> Dear god, why? FTFY
This is what finally tipped the scales so that I gave in and plugged in the Alexa that I got for Christmas from my MIL 10 years ago.
I remember when my dad started responding "look it up on Encarta". I didn't know how else I could connect with him so asking why was pretty much the only bonding mechanism I had, and I lost it overnight. Be sure your kid can approach you in another way if not with endless 'why' questions!
I thought it was just me that needed nearly a decade to adjust but seeing others there too helps, starting to feel like a pack more than an individual but takes some time. I came from a clan of 6 too. 3rd due in July
I thought the question phase was bad. My kid old is now never wrong in his opinion. Getting hit with "no, it's actually this" 15x per day has gotten old fast 😂 it's funny how confidently incorrect he is though
It doesn't stop at 3. I'm currently sat here at lunch with my 5yo daughter and she has literally not stopped talking since she woke up this morning. Everything requires an answer and if you dare.to.grt distracted and fail to answer she will just repeat the same sentence over and over and over again.
"Gee, I don't know. What do you think?" "That's a good question. Let's go find out!" Gotta make them work for it or else they'll be running you down for days.
Soak it all in. There will be a point where they don't wanna talk to us at all. But of course frustrations can kick in, in the moment. We all have em.
Yo, I get that this dude is a popular meme, but given that he has a long history of grooming, predatory behavior of children, maybe we stop using it in a parenting sub? This guy deserves to be in the wastebin of history for pursuing children, not being our go-to pop culture reference.
Unfortunate use of Drake.
I am aware of that now haha
Questions are great. The enemy is "Why?" Because they keep saying it until the answer is beyond your own comprehension. I told my kids I only answer questions that are more than one word.
Daddy why?
We usually get the child we get, not the one we'd choose.
Have 14 years old
"Why do YOU think it's that way?" "Take a guess" "Let's find out together" "My ears are tired"
Not dad but I work with 5 year olds and the amount of same fucking questions asked is turning me insane.
For me I don't think it's even really the amount of questions that kills me (well...usually). It's when they ask a question and I'm in the middle of an answer and they ask it again. Or they ask another completely unrelated but similarly complex question, again in the middle of my answer. Like listen here kid, did you actually want an answer or is this just a distraction technique? Where's your sister, what are you trying to pull?
"Daddy, what would happen if all blood dissapears from a person"
Using a Drake meme… ooof
My bad for the Drake meme template y’all. I wasn’t aware of how toxic that dude is.
I have a 2-week old, and boy can I not wait to hear the questions he’ll have!