"Cuggle" stuck around as an early mispronunciation that we found too cute to let go, and now our 5 and 3 both say it routinely. So do my wife and I when the kids aren't around.
That is the key to building a solid relationship with your kiddo! If they ask for something, try to do it, stop working at 5pm, stand up from that football game. My kids were always surprised when I would drop what I was doing to take them shopping, or to the flea market. It builds trust and they always will know you are there for them.
You, sir, are the best reason for being a part of this sub, you are a great Dad!!!
I was away for a work trip a few weeks ago. I got home while my 18-month old daughter was napping and when she woke up, I was just ‘there’. All she wanted me to do was chase her around the house, she was so excited. And when I finally caught her, she just kept saying over and over “Happy! Happy! Happy!” I didn’t even know she knew that word. Left me sobbing. Just a reminder of what just being present means to them.
It doesn't happen as often, but same from my nearly 9yo son.
Still loves to be picked up and bear hugged, have to start strength training though to continue much longer!
congrats on everything what an awesome story. I would love to find myself a woman who says things like “getting to witness this man experience fatherhood..” as a Dad im truly touched by this.
As an IVF these stories always hit me so hard. My wife and I never had a loss so late in the process, but we had several early disappointments.
Even with my daughter, the day before going to the clinic for the ultrasound, my wife had a lot of bleeding and we were just devastated. Seeing that flicker of a heartbeat on the embryo when we expected nothing, but bad news was one of the most remarkable moments of my life.
Then we basically never trusted we were going to make it until the end. We only had two real additional complications. The umbilical cord wasn't attached directly in the center and my daughter never turned. Neither in and of themselves are huge risks, but with everything else we'd experienced, it was hard not to believe the worst.
Then she was here. After about six years of trying and two and a half years of IVF related activities with a huge delay due to Covid, I was a dad and every damn day I'm so astounded by it. I don't have a point of comparison, but having gone through everything for her to be here, it's hard not to be so incredible thankful, even when she's being a menace. My daughter is two and a half and you better believe every single "I love you, daddy." Is the absolute best thing I hear.
Congrats to the two of you. I'm rarely happier than when I hear about couples with fertility issues having a success story.
We had several early losses too. I refused to believe I would meet my son earthside. I hoped but expected the worst even as we neared my due date.
Then the heart rate kept dropping and I had an urgent c section. I just knew he wouldn’t make it. I braced for it.
And he did. He needed a few hours in NICU but was perfect and brought to me after 3 hours earthside.
I’m listening to him holler in the other room right now and tearing up remembering the shock and gratitude I felt when I finally got to bring my son home. Warm, safe and alive in my arms.
He’s 6 months old almost, (in 4 days), and I can see the little bits of his personality peeking through. I cannot WAIT to see him continue to grow and develop into the adult he’s meant to be. It’s beautiful being able to witness this.
Yeah, we had some early losses and the not trusting totally happened to us too. I don't think we bothered starting to tell anyone until after 20 weeks and even then, I know I worried more than people without a history of loss would have. Didn't even have a baby shower until one of our friends insisted on organizing a small one about a week or so before needing to be induced.
Anyway, our daughter is now a week and a half old and doing great (not to mention being the best Father's Day gift ever).
What an awesome Father's Day! Yeah, we excitedly told family on the first successful IVF transfer. They knew our situation, but I don't think any of us realized how hard it would be . On the successful one, we told them we had the transfer and it went well in the moment, but that we wouldn't provide any details until after the ultrasound. Even then, we kept it just to our close family and didn't tell anyone else until probably about the time you guys did. Then we probably didn't start to let it feel real until we got to like, week 32 and knew the likelihood of survival if born early took a huge jump. I don't think I put the crib together until like 34 weeks or something.
But Congrats, Dad. You all made it!
My heart goes out to you and your husband. I'm thrilled you have your daughter, but I cannot imagine being so close and having it all slip away. For my wife and me, I suppose the blessing was that we were fairly early on all the failed attempts so we didn't have time to wonder about names or put things on a registry. It was devastating, but at that point it all felt more like potential than reality. It was a loss of the possibility, but not yet a baby.
It was all hell to get through and there were times I'm sure we both felt our marriage wouldn't survive the trauma of it all, but we both feel it strengthened our bond now in the end. I hope the same is true for you and your husband. I hope you hear a lot more "Goodnight"s and "I love you"s from your daughter in all the months and years to come.
Aaand now I’m crying. Heck of a Father’s Day gift that was.
Happy y’all are happy after all you’ve been through. Hope you get a long lifetime of more happy moments like that.
That is great and I am very happy for you to experience this.
There was recently a story on NPR about a recent piece of legislation going though congress to help prevent stillbirth.
[https://www.mprnews.org/story/2024/06/17/minnesota-mom-hopes-federal-stillbirth-law-will-protect-others-from-grief](https://www.mprnews.org/story/2024/06/17/minnesota-mom-hopes-federal-stillbirth-law-will-protect-others-from-grief)
As a fellow "one and done" not necessarily by choice, I would strongly encourage you to prepare a good quick exit strategy for when really rude people want to pry about why only one and guilt you into feeling like you're doing a child a disservice for not giving them siblings. My 7 year old is amazing, and we would have loved for her to have a brother or sister, but unfortunately biology disagreed and instead we almost lost my wife and daughter during her pregnancy- high risk specialists gave us like 50/50 odds of having a similar experience. Hardly seems worth it, ya know? But random people who don't know you at all will still insist they know better. I've found it's easier to just shut down the conversation right at the beginning, and if it's not someone you care about there's no reason to be polite about it either.
But that's not why you posted here! Congratulations on your moment, both for you and your husband. You guys sound like incredible parents, and your one perfect kiddo is very lucky to have you both.
Very few people that I talk to would continue to pry about additional children if I just tell them no more kids because of “medical reasons” or that it wouldn’t be safe to do so.
I wish that were the case for me as well, but sadly people still press the issue when I try to explain it like this. To be fair, these are not people that I know personally or associate with by choice, and tend to more often be patients of mine or their family members (I'm an RN at an oncology infusion center). Most people definitely get it, but there are plenty that don't.
These days you need an exit strategy for everything.
“When are you getting a boyfriend/girlfriend?”
“When are you gettting married?”
“When are you having a kid?”
“When are you having another kid?”
Just leave us alone! I’ve gone and done all those things. But not to appease you. But I also did much more with my life that I’d rather talk about.
Sorry you had to go through that. Thank you for supporting your husband through his fatherhood journey! You have a special relationship
I never thought about “one and done” impacting families who have experienced loss before. Which term would you prefer to counter immense pressure, mostly from grandparents from another culture but also towards bloody strangers(!), to deliver more grandchildren which are outside our plans as parents?
I know it's not relevant but has your husband seen grief counselors? A lot of men, and I'm guilty of this myself, tend to dismiss stuff like that following miscarriages or abortions because we assume it's not related to us as badly as it is for our partners. In the midst of supporting my wife through a failed pregnancy, I neglected it and one day when a coworker announced she was expecting twins, I had a massive breakdown.
The other night my wife told my son “say goodnight dada” and he knows each word independently. This was the first time he used them together though and said “goodnight dada” while waving me off with a big smile. Man, my heart melted into the carpet. I’m happy your husband can experience the same there’s really no other feeling like it.
Our OB told us to start counting kicks as soon as they started (around 28 for us, my wife had a placenta on the front of her uterus so it was often hard to feel anything).
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Giving my son an extra big cuddle when he wakes up.
We went the IVF route and eventually a GC with our one, viable embryo. The nugget is 18 months old and I her laugh is music.
Congrats and never forget the people, work, and luck that went into creating your beautiful child.
Nope. With therapy and a lot of work he’s speaking better than his older brother (who never shuts the fuck up lol). He has this adorable but classic autism monotone thing going.
Oh I can't imagine the pain you both went through with Andrew. That must have been so incredibly difficult. I love that you are having such a beautiful experience with your daughter. Congrats to both of you.
Our lad was an IVF baby and took 6 years to have him.
He's now at the point where he cuddles us and says "I love you mummy/daddy" or "I missed you" when we get him from nursery.
I'm a big, ugly, emotionally stunted veteran but it gets me every time.
I still tear up whenever my 3 YO says 'I love you daddy.'. There is nothing more amazing in this world!
Shit never gets old man, my son is 4 and is as big as a bag of quikcrete now. I never say no to I want up daddy and won’t. Love his hugs!
"Cuggle" stuck around as an early mispronunciation that we found too cute to let go, and now our 5 and 3 both say it routinely. So do my wife and I when the kids aren't around.
That is the key to building a solid relationship with your kiddo! If they ask for something, try to do it, stop working at 5pm, stand up from that football game. My kids were always surprised when I would drop what I was doing to take them shopping, or to the flea market. It builds trust and they always will know you are there for them. You, sir, are the best reason for being a part of this sub, you are a great Dad!!!
I was away for a work trip a few weeks ago. I got home while my 18-month old daughter was napping and when she woke up, I was just ‘there’. All she wanted me to do was chase her around the house, she was so excited. And when I finally caught her, she just kept saying over and over “Happy! Happy! Happy!” I didn’t even know she knew that word. Left me sobbing. Just a reminder of what just being present means to them.
Came to day this. My 3.5 year old gets me every time he says “i love you” completely unsolicited
the hug I get from my 1.5 year old daughter when I get home from work gives me life
It doesn't happen as often, but same from my nearly 9yo son. Still loves to be picked up and bear hugged, have to start strength training though to continue much longer!
congrats on everything what an awesome story. I would love to find myself a woman who says things like “getting to witness this man experience fatherhood..” as a Dad im truly touched by this.
As an IVF these stories always hit me so hard. My wife and I never had a loss so late in the process, but we had several early disappointments. Even with my daughter, the day before going to the clinic for the ultrasound, my wife had a lot of bleeding and we were just devastated. Seeing that flicker of a heartbeat on the embryo when we expected nothing, but bad news was one of the most remarkable moments of my life. Then we basically never trusted we were going to make it until the end. We only had two real additional complications. The umbilical cord wasn't attached directly in the center and my daughter never turned. Neither in and of themselves are huge risks, but with everything else we'd experienced, it was hard not to believe the worst. Then she was here. After about six years of trying and two and a half years of IVF related activities with a huge delay due to Covid, I was a dad and every damn day I'm so astounded by it. I don't have a point of comparison, but having gone through everything for her to be here, it's hard not to be so incredible thankful, even when she's being a menace. My daughter is two and a half and you better believe every single "I love you, daddy." Is the absolute best thing I hear. Congrats to the two of you. I'm rarely happier than when I hear about couples with fertility issues having a success story.
We had several early losses too. I refused to believe I would meet my son earthside. I hoped but expected the worst even as we neared my due date. Then the heart rate kept dropping and I had an urgent c section. I just knew he wouldn’t make it. I braced for it. And he did. He needed a few hours in NICU but was perfect and brought to me after 3 hours earthside. I’m listening to him holler in the other room right now and tearing up remembering the shock and gratitude I felt when I finally got to bring my son home. Warm, safe and alive in my arms. He’s 6 months old almost, (in 4 days), and I can see the little bits of his personality peeking through. I cannot WAIT to see him continue to grow and develop into the adult he’s meant to be. It’s beautiful being able to witness this.
And you're just getting to the fun part! Once they're sitting up and interacting with things, it feels like they take off like a rocket! Enjoy it
Yeah, we had some early losses and the not trusting totally happened to us too. I don't think we bothered starting to tell anyone until after 20 weeks and even then, I know I worried more than people without a history of loss would have. Didn't even have a baby shower until one of our friends insisted on organizing a small one about a week or so before needing to be induced. Anyway, our daughter is now a week and a half old and doing great (not to mention being the best Father's Day gift ever).
What an awesome Father's Day! Yeah, we excitedly told family on the first successful IVF transfer. They knew our situation, but I don't think any of us realized how hard it would be . On the successful one, we told them we had the transfer and it went well in the moment, but that we wouldn't provide any details until after the ultrasound. Even then, we kept it just to our close family and didn't tell anyone else until probably about the time you guys did. Then we probably didn't start to let it feel real until we got to like, week 32 and knew the likelihood of survival if born early took a huge jump. I don't think I put the crib together until like 34 weeks or something. But Congrats, Dad. You all made it!
We had five transfers fail. Andrew was # 6 after 4 years. We were at the finish line. It was horrible
My heart goes out to you and your husband. I'm thrilled you have your daughter, but I cannot imagine being so close and having it all slip away. For my wife and me, I suppose the blessing was that we were fairly early on all the failed attempts so we didn't have time to wonder about names or put things on a registry. It was devastating, but at that point it all felt more like potential than reality. It was a loss of the possibility, but not yet a baby. It was all hell to get through and there were times I'm sure we both felt our marriage wouldn't survive the trauma of it all, but we both feel it strengthened our bond now in the end. I hope the same is true for you and your husband. I hope you hear a lot more "Goodnight"s and "I love you"s from your daughter in all the months and years to come.
I'm sure happy that you both get to experience this. ♥️
Aaand now I’m crying. Heck of a Father’s Day gift that was. Happy y’all are happy after all you’ve been through. Hope you get a long lifetime of more happy moments like that.
That is great and I am very happy for you to experience this. There was recently a story on NPR about a recent piece of legislation going though congress to help prevent stillbirth. [https://www.mprnews.org/story/2024/06/17/minnesota-mom-hopes-federal-stillbirth-law-will-protect-others-from-grief](https://www.mprnews.org/story/2024/06/17/minnesota-mom-hopes-federal-stillbirth-law-will-protect-others-from-grief)
As a fellow "one and done" not necessarily by choice, I would strongly encourage you to prepare a good quick exit strategy for when really rude people want to pry about why only one and guilt you into feeling like you're doing a child a disservice for not giving them siblings. My 7 year old is amazing, and we would have loved for her to have a brother or sister, but unfortunately biology disagreed and instead we almost lost my wife and daughter during her pregnancy- high risk specialists gave us like 50/50 odds of having a similar experience. Hardly seems worth it, ya know? But random people who don't know you at all will still insist they know better. I've found it's easier to just shut down the conversation right at the beginning, and if it's not someone you care about there's no reason to be polite about it either. But that's not why you posted here! Congratulations on your moment, both for you and your husband. You guys sound like incredible parents, and your one perfect kiddo is very lucky to have you both.
Very few people that I talk to would continue to pry about additional children if I just tell them no more kids because of “medical reasons” or that it wouldn’t be safe to do so.
I wish that were the case for me as well, but sadly people still press the issue when I try to explain it like this. To be fair, these are not people that I know personally or associate with by choice, and tend to more often be patients of mine or their family members (I'm an RN at an oncology infusion center). Most people definitely get it, but there are plenty that don't.
That really sucks.
Agreed
These days you need an exit strategy for everything. “When are you getting a boyfriend/girlfriend?” “When are you gettting married?” “When are you having a kid?” “When are you having another kid?” Just leave us alone! I’ve gone and done all those things. But not to appease you. But I also did much more with my life that I’d rather talk about.
r/oneanddone
Well that was a roller coaster of emotions. Congrats to both of you.
Congrats on everything! Sometimes in the muck and daily grind of it all it helps to be reminded of how lucky some of us are that we get to be parents.
That is such an incredible experience for both of y'all!
Sorry you had to go through that. Thank you for supporting your husband through his fatherhood journey! You have a special relationship I never thought about “one and done” impacting families who have experienced loss before. Which term would you prefer to counter immense pressure, mostly from grandparents from another culture but also towards bloody strangers(!), to deliver more grandchildren which are outside our plans as parents?
Also really curious about OP’s response as I’ve never viewed “one and done” as a negative phrase in the loss context.
I know it's not relevant but has your husband seen grief counselors? A lot of men, and I'm guilty of this myself, tend to dismiss stuff like that following miscarriages or abortions because we assume it's not related to us as badly as it is for our partners. In the midst of supporting my wife through a failed pregnancy, I neglected it and one day when a coworker announced she was expecting twins, I had a massive breakdown.
Long story but he hasn’t
The other night my wife told my son “say goodnight dada” and he knows each word independently. This was the first time he used them together though and said “goodnight dada” while waving me off with a big smile. Man, my heart melted into the carpet. I’m happy your husband can experience the same there’s really no other feeling like it.
This brought tears to my eyes, thank you for sharing this. Sincerely, a dad of another IVF baby who was born at 27 weeks (and is crushing it now!)
Not me getting choked up by your story In Public. Fatherhood is the greatest gift you will ever give that man, and he’ll be forever grateful for it.
Our OB told us to start counting kicks as soon as they started (around 28 for us, my wife had a placenta on the front of her uterus so it was often hard to feel anything). I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Giving my son an extra big cuddle when he wakes up.
Beautiful.
Our 6month old “says” mama all day long. (He doesn’t know it means me yet) Will. Not. Say. Dada. I can’t wait for my husbands face when that day comes
Such a beautiful moment!
We went the IVF route and eventually a GC with our one, viable embryo. The nugget is 18 months old and I her laugh is music. Congrats and never forget the people, work, and luck that went into creating your beautiful child.
Enjoy those moments, they pass too quickly.
My icy stone heart melted the night my mostly non verbal son said that the first time around 4 years of age. Been riding that high for 6 years.
Wow. Is he still NV?
Nope. With therapy and a lot of work he’s speaking better than his older brother (who never shuts the fuck up lol). He has this adorable but classic autism monotone thing going.
: )
Oh I can't imagine the pain you both went through with Andrew. That must have been so incredibly difficult. I love that you are having such a beautiful experience with your daughter. Congrats to both of you.
Our lad was an IVF baby and took 6 years to have him. He's now at the point where he cuddles us and says "I love you mummy/daddy" or "I missed you" when we get him from nursery. I'm a big, ugly, emotionally stunted veteran but it gets me every time.