Before we even get to childcare, let's talk parental leave, because holy shit are we wrong on this. My wife and I are both attorneys. We have jobs that allow us to take a few months off with pay so we can focus on adapting to having a newborn in the house. I was already in favor of mandatory paid parental leave, but man, I just think of parents who have to go back to work right away or shortly after. I don't know how I could do it. I don't mean emotionally, i mean literally how I would function, and how detrimental it would be for our daughter's development.
Mandatory paid parental leave is a no-brainer. For both sides. It's pro-worker, it's pro-family, shit, it's pro-life. You want to reduce abortions? How about make raising a child something that won't bankrupt a working class family.
I took 2 days off for the birth of my daughter and got fired for it. They tried to say it was over something else (another poor decision that I was right about), but the mgr saying things like "We wouldn't have hired you if we knew your wife was pregnant." kind of gave him away.
The manager was a huge scumbag and that place is thankfully out of business now.
The sad part is that it's not illegal if the company is less than 15 employees large. My wife got straight up fired when she said that she was pregnant. If we realized that was a possibility, she would have kept it a secret until delivery.
It worked out in the end at least. She decided to change careers and got a job that pays better and that wanted her to start as soon as she could after delivery.
It was under 15 employees. And honestly, I got it sorted pretty quickly so no harm done. I had a much better job and a 25% raise within about 3 weeks. Glad my shitbag manager had to go start at the bottom somewhere.
Did toy talk to your state DOL?
That's pretty blatant discrimination. I know you couldn't fire a pregnant woman like that so hard to imagine they could say that sane thing to a man and get away with it.
I should have, but no. I had a much better job within a few weeks, and I got my paternity leave, one way or another, and then the owner died and they went out of business because somehow the dipshit manager was put in charge of the whole thing.
So yeah, I could have, but I had a lot going on, and by the time I thought about it, they had already taken their sign down.
The older I get the more I switch sides and am for taking care of our own even if it cost a bit more.. CA gets 8 weeks PFL with an additional 4 protected
I’m sure there are plenty of people who complain about a tiny percent tax to help those who are dealing with a life changing event too. I will never understand how someone cannot see the benefit to society as a collective when we all chip in a little and make things better for those at the bottom or most vulnerable. A rising tide lifts all ships.
Yep, I keep telling my Wife (Foreigner) I will keep voting for my Kids and Kids of their kids to have a better life not just me. I want them to be happy to be American not wanting to leave like I am. At least my son will have citizenship for another country as a plus.
Wow. I’m day 1 into my paternity leave and already exhausted haha. Damn man, that had/has to be insanely tiring and challenging. BS companies that don’t support leave
Colorado passed FAMLI leave just so people can stay home with their new borns or sick family members. That went into effect a few months ago. Mind you when we had our son we lived in Maryland and there was nothing like that there, so it almost broke us, but we survived somehow...
Seriously. I'm so fortunate to have had 3 months paid leave. And I still found it difficult to adapt. I fully support paying a little more so more fathers can enjoy more time off. I can't understand how fathers juggled both, work and a newborn.
Absolutely. I’m in New York so I also got 3 months PFL, and feel like I need more. There’s so much to learn, so much bonding to be done, so much that needs to be done around the house.
I really felt super fortunate to be in CA with 3 months, plus an extra one from my company.
Just being able to be present for both boys in the first 8 months of their lives; they develop and grow so fast! One month they're this wobbly, noodly thing and the next month, grabing your face and smiling and laughing... I can't say how grateful I am to have been a witness to all that and be the primary caretaker for those first few months.
Mine just started laughing this past week. It’s the best. A big turning point was when he started to smile after those first few weeks of just being a crying/sleeping/pooping potato. So glad I’ve been able to see it all develop so far.
I'm in Canada, so I don't want to make this an "oh wow, it's so much better here" kinda nonsense comment, but man. I can't imagine how you can function with only three months of paid leave. I'm sure this contributes to hit car deaths.
British here. We bitch about ours but reading yours I feel like "man complains about free car".
It's 12 months for one parent and 2 weeks for the other. My particular job pays half salary for 12 months.
It's associated with better parenting.
> It's 12 months for one parent and 2 weeks for the other. My particular job pays half salary for 12 months.
For frame of reference:
As an American man with a "career" job, I went back to work *two days* after my first child was born.
And we had no paid parental leave, we just lived off my salary alone...which...honestly I have no idea how we did it, because my pay is regularly characterized as "dogshit"
Canadian here.
12 months both parents, there is a wage replacement for 12 months that is shared by both parents (ie you can. Each get 6 months or one can take the whole twelve).
This can be extended to 18 which a lot of parents do.
My work also "tops up" the wage replacement to 90% of my salary.
I feel sooo sorry for anyone in the US.
There was that picture of the Subway worker with his newborn in a baby carrier that circulated the internet a few years back. I remember the comments on it saying stuff like "wow, he is so committed!" and "what a dad" but al I could think was that this guy deserves to have some bonding time with his kid, but apparently making sandwiches was that much more important? What a horrible situation for him likely deciding between spending time with his newborn and keeping a roof over their heads/food on the table.
I won’t get paid paternity for my son that’s on the way until he is 8 months old. So I have to take a few days of no pay just to see his birth and spend a couple of days with him and let my wife heal. I can take a LOA but I can’t afford not getting a paycheck for a couple weeks. They complain about declining birth rates but do NOTHING to help working class parents actually nurture their families. Sickening….
While we’re at it, how about feed kids for free while they’re forced to be at school!
It’s fair, it’s children, and it’s the only reliable source of food for far too many. I want my taxes going to stuff like this, not building missiles and corporate bailouts or tax cuts.
Don't give up this anger. I hope you get a chance to vote for a candidate that does something about it
I'm in Canada.
My wife has 18 months and I had 8 weeks alongside of her.
There's other countries that do it even better.
Don't stop being angry. You guys are so far down towards the bottom of the barrel that I don't even think you all realize it.
For the record I'm not disagreeing with you, this is a no brainer policy. But:
> It's pro-worker, it's pro-family,
One of the parties that claims this stuff would actually have to be that though ... **they're very much not that**.
GOP in my state 100% opposed every sick leave / family leave bill proposed every time. They give zero fucks about families or workers. **GOP is anti-worker, anti-family.**
And frankly they're not interested in any "realistic" anti-abortion measures either. They'll happily cut their nose off to spite their face even on what they do support.
The GoP is basically a circus of contradictions.
"You banned abortion. How about we provide easy access to contraception so as to prevent unwanted pregnancies, which can lead to abortions?" No, fuck you.
"Maybe provide some health care benefits, so pregnant women that are being forced to carry a child don't have worry about going bankrupt when the pregnancy gets complicated?" No, fuck you again.
"Time off?" Eat a dick.
"Literally *any* social services that could help families in need?" Do you hate freedom?
"How about we pump a little money into education so our children can learn?" No, here's a Bible.
Yeah I agree, my response was a little tongue in cheek--there are plenty who say they're pro-worker and pro-family, but their ideas of supporting the working class basically start and end at catering to their perceived racism and xenophobia, and their ideas of supporting families start and end at catering to heterosexual families where the man is the only one working outside the house (which isn't really possible for most, see point one).
If their actions matched their rhetoric this wouldn't have to be a conversation
Even that stuff seems secondary to me. GOP is really just about money. It’s a facade for the ultra wealthy. How can I get more rich? How can I keep my labor costs low? How can I avoid more taxes? How can I skirt regulation? How can I pay less than my already unfair share?
Racism, climate change, religious crap, immigration, guns… These wedge issues are all just tools they’ve expertly used to trick the dumber half of the country into voting against their own interests.
I upvoted this so hard. These rich fuckers have no idea how a family has to function in middle or lower income households.
Both parents working.
Kids on different schedules because one is in daycare, one in pre-k, one in elementary.
One kid gets sick, then the next one comes down a few days later, then you get it.
Bosses don't like home problems carrying over at work but it's inevitable with kids.
Lose your job? Can't afford daycare. But can't go job hunting because your kid is with you.
Work needs you to travel? Sorry honey, single parent time for you!
We have been put into a corner and no one gives a damn because the pitchforks aren't out.
Also an attorney, and I was at a firm that gave 8 weeks when my kids were born. Almost all the partners I worked for were supportive at the time except one. The one exception oddly was a partner I thought would have been most cool about it - he was younger (gen-x), had tattoos, played base guitar in a band, and had 3 school-age kids of his own. But he was had the typical "I was back in the office the day after my kids were born" spiel, and questioned why I needed so many weeks off.
I also got a bit mad one time (perhaps too mad) at a colleague that waived most of his weeks off. He chose to come back to work after 4 weeks, and willingly forfeited the remaining time. I was mad because I told him he's fucking it up for future parents that need those 8 weeks, and spitting on the parents that came before him that fought hard for those 8 weeks. I'm still salty about it.
It doesn't help that certain people with platforms have gone on tirades saying that fathers are not needed once the kid is born and home. "There's nothing to do."
My wife liked having me around to help out, even if it's just taking an entire shift so she can sleep uninterrupted.
Also, I liked hanging out with my son when he was a newborn. He won't remember, but I will, and that's important.
I had a coworker who did the same thing.
I’m embarrassed of the Schadenfreude I felt when I later learned how his wife left him. Probably not the only time he put his wife and family second.
Working at Walmart I got 6 weeks paid parental leave as a dad, moms get like 4 months. There’s a lot of downside to working there too but they do have a few great benefits like that.
Large corporations should embrace parental leave. It is a competitive benefit they can use to attract workers that small businesses cannot afford.
It is another reason that the government should step in and require/reimburse parental leave for all companies.
I work for a major company who brags on their benes and new baby leave was a fucking shocker and pathetic- you have to burn PTO and then its FMLA. This is a skilled professional job.
I have worked for more than one company that announced, "exciting new leave policy for parents" that was pretty much this. Use your saved PTO until FMLA kicks in. I didn't realize that at one of these I shouldn't have talked to corporate. Just a quick conversation with the boss at my local office to quietly approve my paternity leave.
But because I went through proper channels, I had to use my PTO. Then I put in some work at home between taking care of my baby. I was fortunate to have a very understanding team that let me get away with not much work for a little while.
>Mandatory paid parental leave is a no-brainer. For both sides. It's pro-worker, it's pro-family, shit, it's pro-life. You want to reduce abortions? How about make raising a child something that won't bankrupt a working class family.
The problem is, that idea conflicts with one party's blinding rage over "handouts" and "women with careers." The solution to the problem (in their eyes) is for women to return to their rightful place at home to rear the children; you know, the way *God intended*. ^()
Yeah, that are also under the delusion that if all women become stay at home moms - then companies will have *no choice* but to lower costs, lol. Their GOP party is definitely not going to help them during that transition period (*if* that would even change anything).
The Republican Party (or at least this version of it) doesn’t care about children outside of the womb, unless they’re “protecting them” from drag shows or whatever fictional threat they’ve dreamed up. It’s the same when it comes to workers; they are anti union, against raising the minimum wage and make sure that the working class pays the most in taxes.
I know this is not a political sub, but this is a political post and anyone who isn’t a millionaire needs to wake up and vote in their best interests. I’ll never understand households that make less than $400,000 flying MAGA flags.
George Carlin had a bit back in the 90s about this. Paraphrasing --
"These conservatives -- they will do anything for the unborn. But once you're born, you're on your own." **
"Pro-life conservatives are obsessed about fetuses from conception to nine months. After that, they don't want to know about you."
"If you're pre-born, you're fine -- if you're pre-school, you're fucked."
I could have taken longer with FMLA, but unpaid. No laid leave at my job which sucks.
We were fortunate enough I could afford to take the time off I did, which still wasn't as much as I would have liked, but I know many aren't as fortunate as we are.
The United States is so far behind in this, and not just in policy but general thoughts about time off work.
As an outsider (not American nor living in the US) it’s puzzling how y’all get this so wrong. Mexico has a lot of issues and problems but leave and protection for women during their pregnancy is at least there (pregnant women essentially cannot be fired during pregnancy, and they do get paid leave weeks before and after due date) and even us dads get some paternity leave. It’s just a week but it’s something, and it’s additional to any vacation time.
Neither my wife or myself are receiving paid parental, my wife is taking the unpaid time off but I am using my vacation hours to work half weeks. My wife and I posted a meal train on Facebook because I’m not always able to cook due to work, my wife is recovering, people asked how they could support us and money is going to get tight. My wife’s older relatives lost their minds of the the idea of this, it was the talk of the family for a few days. They called her parents and siblings venting about how ridiculous it was. It was insane how much backlash we received for just posting a link.
I am very lucky in that my wife got 3 months leave (I got 1), then we were able to arrange childcare with our parents that kept our daughter at home for her first year of life, and we both work from home so we got to see her and hang out with our parents that whole time.
I sometimes see these tiny infants going into daycare and I can only think something in our system is so broken. Not something I ever thought or knew about until I became a parent. “Congrats on creating a new life; now get the fuck back to work and start paying a second mortgage to surrender your child to daycare!”
This is quite a tangent but I remember watching Superstore and near the final season the main character played my America Ferrara basically had to go back to work right after giving birth. Like literally days after.
I just stopped watching then and there. I found the whole thing too depressing.
I think the US in the only country without any parental leave in all of the developed world. Most countries in Africa have some form of parental leave as does most of Asia and South America.
As a Canadian, I got to take 9 months of leave for each of my kids. I don’t know how Americans are okay with getting absolutely nothing.
While I agree with your point, you effectively just said "Your concern is not as important as my concern. Let's talk about mine instead."
Kinda rude to hijack someone else's post to discuss your own topic (which, again, I agree with, rather than just making your own post about it.
I took four months off for the birth of my daughter and three months off of the birth of my son.
I literally don’t understand how anyone would ever accept less
The GOP's goal is to push women out of the workforce and back into the role of homemaker (i.e. what they think every woman should be). That's why they don't want to make it easy to take time off: because the woman isn't supposed to have anything to take time off from and the man isn't supposed to degrade himself by engaging in childcare. This is the only way their actions make sense.
I'm not sure he remembers, but Biden had a plan subsidize childcare and cap costs as a % of income.
Joe Manchin and every Republican killed it though.
Edit to add that an entire party voted it down alongside Manchin
There’s also a bipartisan effort to increase dependent FSA account caps drastically *and* peg it to inflation.
Naturally, it’s been stalled with no action for a huge amount of time now.
My dependent care FSA essentially pays for 4 months of daycare for one kid. Pathetic.
I'm a two-time survivor of daycare, but holy shit a right-sizing of FSA Dependent Care account limits needs to happen like yesterday. The $5000 cap was established in ***1986***
It’s such a no brainer.
It’s a “tax cut” in that contributed dependent care FSA dollars are tax free. It can also be billed as cutting the cost of child care since since you don’t pay taxes on it. Satisfied everyone.
So naturally 1,000 useless pieces of legislation will be addressed first.
>The $5000 cap was established in ***1986***
That's nothing new. Nothing that's needed ever seems to be tied to inflation. If it is, it's the crappy inflation that doesn't account for insurance rates, and energy costs.
and they need to allow FSA to be fulfilled to the full amount sooner than the end of the year if you can prove you have used your full allotment already. I signed my daughter up for daycamp for the summer and it's already completely paid off, almost 4,000. But now I have to wait until the end of the year to get that money back that I've already spent. If I have verifiable proof it's been spent already, I should be able to get it back sooner.
Yes, obviously Biden’s debate performance was awful but his actual policy proposals have been stronger on child care affordability than any other administration by far. There was also a ton of money in the American Rescue Plan that basically is the only reason many facilities could hold on through COVID.
While Blackrock analysts are screaming that the decling birth rate is going to cause labor shortages and massive inflation.
But if they outlaw all forms of birth control and abortion and take the choice away from people....
Man, if Mitt Romney was the republican nominee I'd be so much less stressed about this election. Feels like a totally different era, even though it wasn't that long ago.
Remember when everyone made fun of Mitt for saying Russia was a concern? They were simpler times. He was a man that I was happy to have representing Utah in the senate. I wish the party in my state felt the same.
Each kid in daycare is basically another mortgage to be paid. It's as simple as that. And no one running a daycare is making money. It's simply terrible and unsustainable. It's in the country's best interest for universal quality childcare from 0-18.
You can blame Joe Manchin, and sure he shares the blame, but let's make no mistake for any Republicans or centrists on this subreddit: not a single Republican did or would ever, EVER support lightening the financial burden of childcare for families in this country.
Yeah. Manchin is a complicit piece of shit but Republican policies have *explicitly* been about taking money from people and funneling it to corporations while also introducing more and more batshit proposals aimed at minorities, women, LGBTQ, and trans folks in order to appease their racist fundie voters.
Both parties suck and both are bought and paid for by corporate interests. But they are not equal and only one of them even mildly cares about the welfare of American citizens.
While we're kicking Joe Manchin, remember that he was against parental leave because he thought that people would skip work to go hunting. And he was against the advanced child tax credit payments (you know, the one that significantly reduced child poverty for that year) because he thought that parents would blow the money *that they get as a write off from their taxes anyway* on drugs.
Yup.
And even if he says this, an actual statistic, actual legislation, something tangible he did about it...
... it would just get overshadowed by "BiDeN iS oLd!!!!!???!!!!" and orange man yelling "childcare was the best under my presidency. The best childcare"
Legit track record and legislation
versus
"He old"
🤷♂️
It died because it was tied to a terrible pork barrel bill. The people you're praising have chosen not to push it as a single line item because it's politically expedient. No one is good on this issue.
I made my FINAL daycare/preschool payment last month. Three kids, 12 years, with some overlap where two kids were going at the same time. I worked it out a bit ago, and I spent more than $100,000 on childcare. My wife and I are teachers. It was a massive financial burden. Also, I love my kids.
I have 2 kids in daycare, almost 2 and almost 4. I spent $45k on daycare last year - just a normal daycare and not some bougie thing. It is absolutely fucking ludicrous and financially backbreaking
I had one kid. When she graduated from daycare, they sent us a statement that told us how much we had paid since she was an infant. it was 75k. I was like, why would you tell us something like that !!!
Setting aside political parties and points in general …
We are so incredibly fucked across the board by the age and wealth of US politicians. Child care is one of many topics that I think is fundamentally a symptom of the complete inability of rich, elderly politicians to understand or empathize with the lives of Americans. Even their grandchildren are grown and their families have always been able to afford full-time staffs to care for their children for them. They don’t have a clue about anything the average person struggles with.
I work in tech, and our tech laws in this country are absolute dogshit. But realistically all of these politicians were elderly before AOL even started. They don’t understand any of this. They have staffs and grandchildren to work their smart phones for them on their massive font sizes and it’s all irrelevant to them.
And it’s all of our fault for letting it happen. If we demanded better politicians we’d get them. But we’re all so busy bickering over culture wars we just keep letting elderly rich people control us.
The last part is the heaviest truth we need to overcome.
Stop arguing about bathrooms and kneeling at a football game. Let's overturn Citizens United and get money out of politics.
How much can a banana cost?
This isn’t something new. JFK didn’t know the Great Recession was happening until he learned about it in college despite growing up during it it. The elites live different lives.
I used to watch the debates with my grandfather and got a love for politics. I think since 2016 I wouldn’t want to watch them with my kids because I doubt they get the same feeling of importance that I got from watching the ones in the 90s.
I watched with my kids as they were growing up. My 20 year old daughter called yesterday and was like, "Are you guys seeing this shit?" She still watches and is very engaged but also outraged at her options for president.
I explained what it was to my son about 15 minutes before it started. He is six. About 5 before it began I turned it off. Decided it wasn't something I wanted him to have to see yet. If we are lucky in 4 years when he is ten he can see actual people that actually care and aren't just career pieces of shit.
Expectation: "You see son, understanding the health of the national economy requires a complex grasp on everything from taxes to unemployment rates to international trade"
Reality: "Daddy, what's a porn star and why are the grandpa's arguing about it?"
Trivia event last night had an audio round with clips from presidential and vice presidential debates, where you had to name the person and year. It was downright painful to hear clips from the modern years, juxtaposed against older clips of substance.
Day care in my area is $2,800 a month per child
I was out of work for 2 days after my last was born, and despite having 3 months of FMLA approved, they still threatened my job… after 2 fucking days.
This is the kind of stuff that happens when the people running the country are almost all old men who last had kids 40-50 years ago and who never helped out at home.
Honestly give me a 38 year old single mom running for President and I'll be their strongest soldier.
As someone who's been pretty politically engaged (or at least attentative) for like the last 20+ years, I didn't even bother watching.... It's so, so depressing that at least according to political parties, these two are our "best" options to lead our country.
While I 100% agree with you I think we can't lose sight of the fact that something is terribly wrong here.
A country with a population of over 340 million people and we're picking between these two? One's better but this current election is deeply unsettling.
I'd love to vote for a president who I can confidently say would be able to set up a smart TV.
Regardless of who wins the election we can all be sure that it won't be the American people.
How is that we got to a point there these are the guys we have to decide between? Once upon a time it was controversial when Obama put mustard on a hot dog and wore a tweed suit.
The Republicans have been taken over by christo-fascist ideologues, and the Democrats are being run into the ground by arrogant geriatrics too addicted to power to hand it off to the next generation.
> How is that we got to a point there these are the guys we have to decide between?
I mean, Joe Biden won the Democratic primary election in 2019. Out of the options we were given, he's who we collectively decided was our best bet.
I'm not his biggest fan, but online discussions can get awfully conspiracy-theory about him getting the nomination when the explanation is *very* simple.
Just two people completely outta touch with reality.
Trump was too rich to worry about the cost of anything
Back in Bidens day, a single income can support a full family without a college education…
Once we done talking about child care, we should talk about the bullshit of not making paid maternity leave mandatory at a federal level.
The worlds laughing at us.
dependent care fsa limit for is like $5k…ridiculously out of touch with the costs of daycare not to mention some have multiple kids in daycare. like it’s such an easy answer i can’t believe their responses (lack of rather).
This hasn’t been updated for decades. That $5000 pays for like 1.25 months for me. Fucking laughable. In fact, it’s hardly worth it with all the hoops I have to jump through to get the reimbursement.
This should be bumped to $25k **per child**
The whole topic is infuriating. I don't love Biden and I actively despise Trump. I feel like our two choices are either "spinning our wheels waiting for progress to slowly trickle out" or "aggressively break everything". But I'm almost more fed up with voters than I am with the two candidates. "These are the best the parties could come up with?" Well did you vote in the primary? Yeah 2024 might have felt like a foregone conclusion, but there were other Democrats available in 2020. Both parties had multiple options in 2016. And yet primaries have abysmal turnout every single time.
There's valuable lessons here for our kids about "learned helplessness".
Stepping back from the subject, as a dad with a mortgage and working in the lay off minefield field of tech, I just felt a lot more uneasy about my future watching these two. With the market hitting ATHs, it feels like we’re bound to fall off a cliff sooner or later and one of these guys will have to lead the country out of it. 😵💫
I will kindly remind you that despite all the predictions of us entering a recession after COVID, we did not and we are now the fastest recovering economy in the world. You can thank the Biden administration for that.
This post could quickly go off the rails, so kudos to you OP for opening up divisive topic.
As a Dad I now look at politics a little differently. I need to make sure I leave a society for my kids that isn't a hell scape. And given the reality of our system, I have two and only two choices to make my children's lives better.
1. An old man who doesn't know what day of the week it is, but has advanced clean energy policies, civil rights policies, and economic policies that will make my kids lives better.
or
2. An equally old man who wants to destroy democracy and my kids ability to have a participatory government, will remove their rights, deport their friends, destroy their economy...
A forgetful old man seems miles and miles better than the other option.
I think this is an important dad topic, but I also know how reddit is. So if you disagree with me, all I can say is that you're not paying attention, and I hope you don't ruin it for my kids. I'm out.
The forgetful old man that's battled a stuttering problem his whole life also surrounds himself with competent professionals. The other has a cabinet full of either felons or people that actively speak out against him and his ever present threat to democracy.
Biden did have a legislative plan for reigning in childcare costs. Republicans obliterated it.
Yup, I came here to comment on the cabinets too. One has a cabinet of respected leaders and experts in their respective fields while the other has a cabinet full of his friends and people he owes favors to. While POTUS is the most important decision, the cabinets and leadership POTUS puts in place is what ultimately will run a country.
Also... if you all haven't seen what the conservative agenda is for this cycle, check out John Oliver's breakdown of Project 2025, it's absolutely horrifying for the future generation such as completely dismantling the Department of Education and NOAA.
Trump can't even pay lawyers exorbitant rates to represent him. How is he going to fill the cabinet at federal pay structure with anyone other than a grifter? The choice is obvious, but the obvious is lost on a lot of people in this country.
I am fucking pissed at Biden and pissed at the DNC for not fielding a viable candidate.
The two greatest political errors of the 21st century were nominating Hillary Clinton and RBG not stepping down in like 2013.
That said, we’ve been on this downward slide since at least Reagan and it was gonna bite us sooner or later. At least Trump is stupid and greedy enough that he was incapable of dismantling the state in one term.
At this point, I'll take an empty chair backed by a committee putting forward good policies.
If Biden has to sit in the chair while the people around him do the work, so be it.
It's better than a person who will only aggressively drive self serving policies
This is the biggest thing for me. Biden is ready to admit that he doesn't know everything and surrounds himself with people that do understand stuff he doesn't. He understands that he is not king and is not expected to govern every little thing in everyone's lives.
Unfortunately, I fear after seeing my wife's tik tok page that younger people are just focused on Biden tripping over words and looking tired. They are so busy making fun of his performance that they do not care to learn how much lied through his teeth all night. It is much easier to debate when your thoughts are not based on truth and you can just make up anything on the spot.
Something that always stood out to me when I read a book about Genghis Khan was that one of this strongest abilities was finding the right person for a job. He'd absorb the generals of his enemies who performed admirably. There was a story about an archer who almost hit him with an arror from a ridiculous distance and he made him part of his personal guard. When I was in business school something they drilled on us too was good managers delegate and one of the most common reason a start-up fails is because the founder is unwilling to let other people have control of parts of *their* baby.
My point of all of this is while Biden left plenty to be desired in his overall performance yesterday at an absolute minimum he's the adult in the room who knows how to surround himself with intelligent people who he can trust to make good decisions. Trump is a toddler bully who demands sycophantic loyalty from people around him, with a core tenant of project 2025 being that they can change the designation of non-political federal employees (scientists, etc) who are not supposed to be swayed by the policy platform of the current administration *to* political positions who *are* supposed to bend their recommendations to the administrations goals. Think of Trump drawing on the map with the sharpie, except the map having been already updated to match that desired message because the federal metrologists have to kowtow.
This really struck me after watching an interview with the brilliant young lawyer he appointed to head the FTC. She’s taking on things Biden could never wrap his head around and she’s doing an incredible job. If all he does is appoint people like her, then I’m happy.
I think it's important to remember the reality of American politics in this day and age is that it is run by a huge team that is appointed by the president with party approval. The president really doesn't do much, and at both of their age, this is absolutely about the party and not the person.
While identity politics is a real problem, the nature of voting in a 2 party system is ideology-oriented. Don't focus on which president you want to vote for, focus on which party's platform has the most alignment with your world view and vote accordingly. Don't get sucked into the debates or any of the spectacle, just go read the plans each of them have for the country on their party websites.
For the sake of transparency, I am a Canadian.
Speaking of which, if you haven't read it yet, please go have a look at the Republicans' Project 2025. Yeah, it's 900 pages long but people have done the work of linking to the bits that cover particular topics. The Republicans are telling us exactly how they plan to dismantle the government and move hard towards theocracy the next time they get the presidency. They are not kidding. More people need to know just how bad this is going to be while it's still possible to vote against it.
Dead on. We know for a fact that this is true because when Trump was in office his days didn’t start till 11am, he got briefings that had to contain photos (doesn’t read) then he would have a 4hr block of “executive time” (tv time) and then spent Wednesday - Sunday making the secret service pay inflated hotel room prices while he golfed at his clubs.
This is essentially an election of picking your mascot, not an actual leader. Do you want the team that actively wants to make lives better? Or do you want the team that gleefully exists in a different reality? It's honestly that simple. The two old dudes yelling at each other on stage have little-to-nothing to do with what actually comes next.
Could not have said it better myself.
Both candidates are bad. But one is straight willing, and we have seen it with our own eyes, to destroy the foundations and ideals this country was built upon. And probably eventually the country itself. I agree. The children are the future and we need to leave them a country they can survive in and have a good life.
Both candidates are not bad. Both candidates were bad in the debate. Trump is bad all the time. Biden has been extremely good in office, regardless of his debate performance.
You said it more kindly than I did, and I hope you get through. I'm so sick of the bullshit, and I've been dressing down people freaking out over Biden's (admittedly poor) performance in the debate.
Don't be a moron. Think about your kids.
All, please research where the parties stand on child tax credits
https://www.cbpp.org/blog/key-senate-republicans-reported-position-on-child-tax-credit-would-weaken-bills-support-for#:~:text=The%20Senate%20Republicans%20are%20reportedly,improvements%20until%20tax%20year%202024.
That was such a shit show.
One guy cant not tell egregious lies every sentence and the other not even sure which sentence he was going to say. The choice is still clear but ffs how are we here.
Lets hope the local more important elections go better.
These men are roughly the same age as bill clinton and george w. The presendent elects of 92 and 00. These guys havent raised children in a long long time.
A national childcare program was supposed to be Ivanka's signature accomplishment from Trump's first term. Like everything else it was a lie, Trump is awful and no one should believe a word he utters.
And then many bitch about dropping childbirth rates... like hey, if you want more bodies for the grinder that is capitalism, maybe make it easier to have some kids?
So, this is off topic, but I saw some of the debate and was completely struck by how much Trump’s mannerisms were like Homelander’s when listening to Biden.
It's intentional
https://www.rollingstone.com/tv-movies/tv-movie-features/boys-penis-homelander-trump-billy-joel-season-3-1369258/
>He’s always been a Trump analogue for me.
I just tuned in for 10min in the middle, but Biden *did* bring up day-care costs and legislation he passed to help with it — albeit in the context of Black families only. (And his talking point was "Black families have these troubles, and Black parents have these issues, and …", in a way that smacked of painting "Black families' issues" with too wide a brush. I know a debate isn't the place for nuance, but it struck me as slightly patronizing.)
That may have been on response to Trump, who was going on and on about how Biden hurts black people. I felt like Biden had to be on defense most of the night cuz Trump was just repeating extreme lies over and over
Yeah. And the Biden administration had child care subsidies in their Build Back Better plan which would have benefited all lower and middle class families.
It was blocked by Republicans.
Well, unless you want to raise your kids under a dictatorship there’s really only one choice.
Hint: it’s not the guy with 3 active indictments, 34 felonies, has been found liable of rape and fraud and also owes the state of New York half a billion dollars.
I doubt it because insurance doesn't pay for childcare. The high cost of childcare is that for really good reasons it is heavily regulated by the government but is not subsidized enough to be affordable. Other countries that have cheap daycare either have very low wages, little regulation or oversight, or have heavy government funding.
Both candidates are old and crazy but Biden did try to pass legislation for universal pre K and that was blocked by Republicans. I hope that and more gets done very soon.
This is one of those things where we need to work on individual states. States need to start implementing stuff. We’re too large to manage on a national level.
Yes we need good policy at the federal level, but we really need to start getting governors and state legislatures to mimic what they want to see.
My 3.5 yr old asked me what i was looking at on my phone, which ended with my explaining what a president is, what was happening and why it was important. The whole time knowing how much of a shitshow last night would end up becoming.
Not the first time I've lied to him, but it was the only one I have felt dirty about.
I went to an event for a senate candidate in my state and asked him to his face about this. Childcare is a perfect example of a market failure. We can’t pay more, centers don’t seem to be able to charge less, and the workers are unfortunately paid peanuts. My oldest is about to start kindergarten and I almost threw up when I saw how expensive summer camp is.
I have a good friend who moved to Europe and gets heavily subsidized childcare because it’s seen as a public good. I don’t know what the right solution here is, but I know the current system isn’t working and we as parents need to make our voices heard.
I am from Austria- we have up to 3 years of paid parental leave, also a thing called "dad month" where the dad can stay with the wife and child for 1 month right after birth, also paid. Our first son is almost 2 years old and in kindergarden every day from 6:30 to 14:00, for which we pay 60 euros / month.
People here are complaining that our child care possibilities are insufficient. And they are working on making things better.
I cannot even imagine the hell you are going through raising a kid in the US. Mad respect to you lads. Seriously hoping things change for the better for you.
Also, fuck those 2 guys, the debate yesterday was one of the most embarrassing political discussions I witnessed. And we have quite some imbeciles here as well.
I know a 70-year-old who ran for office a few years back. Their campaign advisor had worked for Jimmy Carter. Literally nobody involved in their campaign was under 70. Their platform revolved around lowering property taxes and decreasing the estate tax. And they're a democrat.
I asked them and their campaign advisor what they were doing for millennials or gen Z. Their answer? "Millennials don't vote." I asked if they could at least put legalized pot or abortion protections on their platform. "No, we don't want to be divisive"
Old politicians are completely uninterested in modernizing. They have this brutally conservative (in the traditional sense) view that they can cooperate with opponents who are out for blood and not competing in good faith.
To be fair, Biden atleast tried to answer the question.
Trump just went back to a random ass response - all fucking night.
Overall, the fact that these are our choices in this great country is really saddening.
Debate performances don't mean ****. Policy matters and determining what kind of world you want for your child's life is all that matters. There is one clear candidate that has actual attempted meaningful change going forward the other in my view offers nothing. Empathy and compassion will always guide my personal views so I generally will pick a candidate that does the same. Easy choice.
I mean it’s all a show isn’t it? The last reasonable debate was probably 2012. I’m sure the major funding individuals for the DNC and GOP see what’s happening, that or they’re laughing to themselves about our demise. I honestly don’t think there’s any hope for democracy at this point, especially now that the Supreme Court essentially ruled bribery is legal. We are now living under capitalism. Not democracy. It’s official.
Nailed it. When the federal government is gutted and agencies like the FDA and EPA are neutered to allow for maximum corporate profits, watch what happens to the health of this nation. When the health of citizens becomes an afterthought, that’s when I’ll finally seriously consider dipping out.
I wish we could have a pretax acct just
For childcare and also have insurance. I don’t need employer contributions to both. Just let me save $$$ pretax for childcare
As a European I’m shocked reading your comments here. I love my children to death but I wouldn’t have started a family if I lived in the US. Not being able to be with your baby, fuck that. Even as a father you get a couple of weeks off and then you can take an additional 9 weeks spread out plus your own vacations days if you want more.
Come to Germany. Not everything is great here. And clearly there is still a lot of discrimination against women who get a baby, but:
14 months partially paid parental leave for the two parents together (standard split is though 12 months for the mother and two months for the father, but the parents can split them how they like with a max of twelve months for one person. And you get 60% of your salary but it max out at about 1600€). Plus women go on fully paid pre birth leave two months before due date.
Kindergarten is for free in most areas as well.
Again not all golden in Germany.. But I feel like this is going the right way.
I have two kids. My youngest is severely disabled. I’m the sole provider as my wife cannot work because my daughter needs 24/7 supervision.
I make more than the average person, but not enough to be financially worry free. With my disabled daughters special needs I am basically loving check to check.
I was just denied Medicaid and was told I will need to wait several years for SSI (which would cover a fraction of her expenses).
I’m a centrist, and lean more towards conservative recently. But whatever the fuck is going on right now is not it and I have no support. Our system is broken.
Before we even get to childcare, let's talk parental leave, because holy shit are we wrong on this. My wife and I are both attorneys. We have jobs that allow us to take a few months off with pay so we can focus on adapting to having a newborn in the house. I was already in favor of mandatory paid parental leave, but man, I just think of parents who have to go back to work right away or shortly after. I don't know how I could do it. I don't mean emotionally, i mean literally how I would function, and how detrimental it would be for our daughter's development. Mandatory paid parental leave is a no-brainer. For both sides. It's pro-worker, it's pro-family, shit, it's pro-life. You want to reduce abortions? How about make raising a child something that won't bankrupt a working class family.
I sucks bro, I took 10 days PTO with my kid, half that time he was in NICU. Fucking blows, only glad I work from home.
I took 2 days off for the birth of my daughter and got fired for it. They tried to say it was over something else (another poor decision that I was right about), but the mgr saying things like "We wouldn't have hired you if we knew your wife was pregnant." kind of gave him away. The manager was a huge scumbag and that place is thankfully out of business now.
Gotta love it when managers are dumb enough to say the quiet (and illegal) part out loud.
The sad part is that it's not illegal if the company is less than 15 employees large. My wife got straight up fired when she said that she was pregnant. If we realized that was a possibility, she would have kept it a secret until delivery. It worked out in the end at least. She decided to change careers and got a job that pays better and that wanted her to start as soon as she could after delivery.
It was under 15 employees. And honestly, I got it sorted pretty quickly so no harm done. I had a much better job and a 25% raise within about 3 weeks. Glad my shitbag manager had to go start at the bottom somewhere.
Did toy talk to your state DOL? That's pretty blatant discrimination. I know you couldn't fire a pregnant woman like that so hard to imagine they could say that sane thing to a man and get away with it.
I should have, but no. I had a much better job within a few weeks, and I got my paternity leave, one way or another, and then the owner died and they went out of business because somehow the dipshit manager was put in charge of the whole thing. So yeah, I could have, but I had a lot going on, and by the time I thought about it, they had already taken their sign down.
The older I get the more I switch sides and am for taking care of our own even if it cost a bit more.. CA gets 8 weeks PFL with an additional 4 protected
Colorado law is now 12 paid weeks for both parents. Paid for by employers and employees with a new tax on every paycheck.
I’m sure there are plenty of people who complain about a tiny percent tax to help those who are dealing with a life changing event too. I will never understand how someone cannot see the benefit to society as a collective when we all chip in a little and make things better for those at the bottom or most vulnerable. A rising tide lifts all ships.
Yep, I keep telling my Wife (Foreigner) I will keep voting for my Kids and Kids of their kids to have a better life not just me. I want them to be happy to be American not wanting to leave like I am. At least my son will have citizenship for another country as a plus.
8 weeks is nothing...try six months or a year in other countries....
Wow. I’m day 1 into my paternity leave and already exhausted haha. Damn man, that had/has to be insanely tiring and challenging. BS companies that don’t support leave
And companies are not going to support it unless they're forced to, so government mandates are incredibly necessary.
Colorado passed FAMLI leave just so people can stay home with their new borns or sick family members. That went into effect a few months ago. Mind you when we had our son we lived in Maryland and there was nothing like that there, so it almost broke us, but we survived somehow...
Holy shit this is nearly exactly what happened to me. Kid was only in NICU for 4 days though.
Seriously. I'm so fortunate to have had 3 months paid leave. And I still found it difficult to adapt. I fully support paying a little more so more fathers can enjoy more time off. I can't understand how fathers juggled both, work and a newborn.
Absolutely. I’m in New York so I also got 3 months PFL, and feel like I need more. There’s so much to learn, so much bonding to be done, so much that needs to be done around the house.
I really felt super fortunate to be in CA with 3 months, plus an extra one from my company. Just being able to be present for both boys in the first 8 months of their lives; they develop and grow so fast! One month they're this wobbly, noodly thing and the next month, grabing your face and smiling and laughing... I can't say how grateful I am to have been a witness to all that and be the primary caretaker for those first few months.
Mine just started laughing this past week. It’s the best. A big turning point was when he started to smile after those first few weeks of just being a crying/sleeping/pooping potato. So glad I’ve been able to see it all develop so far.
I'm in Canada, so I don't want to make this an "oh wow, it's so much better here" kinda nonsense comment, but man. I can't imagine how you can function with only three months of paid leave. I'm sure this contributes to hit car deaths.
Thing is, none of us should have to pay more. The money is there, our elected government just doesn't prioritize leave or children
I got a year, my wife took 6 months before and after. kid spent a day without a parent next to them only from 2+ years.
British here. We bitch about ours but reading yours I feel like "man complains about free car". It's 12 months for one parent and 2 weeks for the other. My particular job pays half salary for 12 months. It's associated with better parenting.
> It's 12 months for one parent and 2 weeks for the other. My particular job pays half salary for 12 months. For frame of reference: As an American man with a "career" job, I went back to work *two days* after my first child was born. And we had no paid parental leave, we just lived off my salary alone...which...honestly I have no idea how we did it, because my pay is regularly characterized as "dogshit"
Canadian here. 12 months both parents, there is a wage replacement for 12 months that is shared by both parents (ie you can. Each get 6 months or one can take the whole twelve). This can be extended to 18 which a lot of parents do. My work also "tops up" the wage replacement to 90% of my salary. I feel sooo sorry for anyone in the US.
There was that picture of the Subway worker with his newborn in a baby carrier that circulated the internet a few years back. I remember the comments on it saying stuff like "wow, he is so committed!" and "what a dad" but al I could think was that this guy deserves to have some bonding time with his kid, but apparently making sandwiches was that much more important? What a horrible situation for him likely deciding between spending time with his newborn and keeping a roof over their heads/food on the table.
I won’t get paid paternity for my son that’s on the way until he is 8 months old. So I have to take a few days of no pay just to see his birth and spend a couple of days with him and let my wife heal. I can take a LOA but I can’t afford not getting a paycheck for a couple weeks. They complain about declining birth rates but do NOTHING to help working class parents actually nurture their families. Sickening….
While we’re at it, how about feed kids for free while they’re forced to be at school! It’s fair, it’s children, and it’s the only reliable source of food for far too many. I want my taxes going to stuff like this, not building missiles and corporate bailouts or tax cuts.
We did this in MN, free breakfast and lunch for all school kids.
It’s actually depressing that free food for schoolchildren wasn’t implemented from the start.
Don't give up this anger. I hope you get a chance to vote for a candidate that does something about it I'm in Canada. My wife has 18 months and I had 8 weeks alongside of her. There's other countries that do it even better. Don't stop being angry. You guys are so far down towards the bottom of the barrel that I don't even think you all realize it.
For the record I'm not disagreeing with you, this is a no brainer policy. But: > It's pro-worker, it's pro-family, One of the parties that claims this stuff would actually have to be that though ... **they're very much not that**. GOP in my state 100% opposed every sick leave / family leave bill proposed every time. They give zero fucks about families or workers. **GOP is anti-worker, anti-family.** And frankly they're not interested in any "realistic" anti-abortion measures either. They'll happily cut their nose off to spite their face even on what they do support.
The GoP is basically a circus of contradictions. "You banned abortion. How about we provide easy access to contraception so as to prevent unwanted pregnancies, which can lead to abortions?" No, fuck you. "Maybe provide some health care benefits, so pregnant women that are being forced to carry a child don't have worry about going bankrupt when the pregnancy gets complicated?" No, fuck you again. "Time off?" Eat a dick. "Literally *any* social services that could help families in need?" Do you hate freedom? "How about we pump a little money into education so our children can learn?" No, here's a Bible.
Yeah I agree, my response was a little tongue in cheek--there are plenty who say they're pro-worker and pro-family, but their ideas of supporting the working class basically start and end at catering to their perceived racism and xenophobia, and their ideas of supporting families start and end at catering to heterosexual families where the man is the only one working outside the house (which isn't really possible for most, see point one). If their actions matched their rhetoric this wouldn't have to be a conversation
Even that stuff seems secondary to me. GOP is really just about money. It’s a facade for the ultra wealthy. How can I get more rich? How can I keep my labor costs low? How can I avoid more taxes? How can I skirt regulation? How can I pay less than my already unfair share? Racism, climate change, religious crap, immigration, guns… These wedge issues are all just tools they’ve expertly used to trick the dumber half of the country into voting against their own interests.
I upvoted this so hard. These rich fuckers have no idea how a family has to function in middle or lower income households. Both parents working. Kids on different schedules because one is in daycare, one in pre-k, one in elementary. One kid gets sick, then the next one comes down a few days later, then you get it. Bosses don't like home problems carrying over at work but it's inevitable with kids. Lose your job? Can't afford daycare. But can't go job hunting because your kid is with you. Work needs you to travel? Sorry honey, single parent time for you! We have been put into a corner and no one gives a damn because the pitchforks aren't out.
In the few words Biden actually said on this topic all he emphasized was "getting \[parents\] back to work."
"pro-life" politicians are usually "pro-birth". they literally don't care what happens after.
Also an attorney, and I was at a firm that gave 8 weeks when my kids were born. Almost all the partners I worked for were supportive at the time except one. The one exception oddly was a partner I thought would have been most cool about it - he was younger (gen-x), had tattoos, played base guitar in a band, and had 3 school-age kids of his own. But he was had the typical "I was back in the office the day after my kids were born" spiel, and questioned why I needed so many weeks off. I also got a bit mad one time (perhaps too mad) at a colleague that waived most of his weeks off. He chose to come back to work after 4 weeks, and willingly forfeited the remaining time. I was mad because I told him he's fucking it up for future parents that need those 8 weeks, and spitting on the parents that came before him that fought hard for those 8 weeks. I'm still salty about it.
It doesn't help that certain people with platforms have gone on tirades saying that fathers are not needed once the kid is born and home. "There's nothing to do." My wife liked having me around to help out, even if it's just taking an entire shift so she can sleep uninterrupted. Also, I liked hanging out with my son when he was a newborn. He won't remember, but I will, and that's important.
I had a coworker who did the same thing. I’m embarrassed of the Schadenfreude I felt when I later learned how his wife left him. Probably not the only time he put his wife and family second.
Working at Walmart I got 6 weeks paid parental leave as a dad, moms get like 4 months. There’s a lot of downside to working there too but they do have a few great benefits like that.
Large corporations should embrace parental leave. It is a competitive benefit they can use to attract workers that small businesses cannot afford. It is another reason that the government should step in and require/reimburse parental leave for all companies.
I work for a major company who brags on their benes and new baby leave was a fucking shocker and pathetic- you have to burn PTO and then its FMLA. This is a skilled professional job.
I have worked for more than one company that announced, "exciting new leave policy for parents" that was pretty much this. Use your saved PTO until FMLA kicks in. I didn't realize that at one of these I shouldn't have talked to corporate. Just a quick conversation with the boss at my local office to quietly approve my paternity leave. But because I went through proper channels, I had to use my PTO. Then I put in some work at home between taking care of my baby. I was fortunate to have a very understanding team that let me get away with not much work for a little while.
>Mandatory paid parental leave is a no-brainer. For both sides. It's pro-worker, it's pro-family, shit, it's pro-life. You want to reduce abortions? How about make raising a child something that won't bankrupt a working class family. The problem is, that idea conflicts with one party's blinding rage over "handouts" and "women with careers." The solution to the problem (in their eyes) is for women to return to their rightful place at home to rear the children; you know, the way *God intended*. ^()
Yeah, that are also under the delusion that if all women become stay at home moms - then companies will have *no choice* but to lower costs, lol. Their GOP party is definitely not going to help them during that transition period (*if* that would even change anything).
The Republican Party (or at least this version of it) doesn’t care about children outside of the womb, unless they’re “protecting them” from drag shows or whatever fictional threat they’ve dreamed up. It’s the same when it comes to workers; they are anti union, against raising the minimum wage and make sure that the working class pays the most in taxes. I know this is not a political sub, but this is a political post and anyone who isn’t a millionaire needs to wake up and vote in their best interests. I’ll never understand households that make less than $400,000 flying MAGA flags.
George Carlin had a bit back in the 90s about this. Paraphrasing -- "These conservatives -- they will do anything for the unborn. But once you're born, you're on your own." **
"Pro-life conservatives are obsessed about fetuses from conception to nine months. After that, they don't want to know about you."
"If you're pre-born, you're fine -- if you're pre-school, you're fucked."
I could have taken longer with FMLA, but unpaid. No laid leave at my job which sucks. We were fortunate enough I could afford to take the time off I did, which still wasn't as much as I would have liked, but I know many aren't as fortunate as we are. The United States is so far behind in this, and not just in policy but general thoughts about time off work.
As an outsider (not American nor living in the US) it’s puzzling how y’all get this so wrong. Mexico has a lot of issues and problems but leave and protection for women during their pregnancy is at least there (pregnant women essentially cannot be fired during pregnancy, and they do get paid leave weeks before and after due date) and even us dads get some paternity leave. It’s just a week but it’s something, and it’s additional to any vacation time.
Neither my wife or myself are receiving paid parental, my wife is taking the unpaid time off but I am using my vacation hours to work half weeks. My wife and I posted a meal train on Facebook because I’m not always able to cook due to work, my wife is recovering, people asked how they could support us and money is going to get tight. My wife’s older relatives lost their minds of the the idea of this, it was the talk of the family for a few days. They called her parents and siblings venting about how ridiculous it was. It was insane how much backlash we received for just posting a link.
I am very lucky in that my wife got 3 months leave (I got 1), then we were able to arrange childcare with our parents that kept our daughter at home for her first year of life, and we both work from home so we got to see her and hang out with our parents that whole time. I sometimes see these tiny infants going into daycare and I can only think something in our system is so broken. Not something I ever thought or knew about until I became a parent. “Congrats on creating a new life; now get the fuck back to work and start paying a second mortgage to surrender your child to daycare!”
This is quite a tangent but I remember watching Superstore and near the final season the main character played my America Ferrara basically had to go back to work right after giving birth. Like literally days after. I just stopped watching then and there. I found the whole thing too depressing. I think the US in the only country without any parental leave in all of the developed world. Most countries in Africa have some form of parental leave as does most of Asia and South America. As a Canadian, I got to take 9 months of leave for each of my kids. I don’t know how Americans are okay with getting absolutely nothing.
While I agree with your point, you effectively just said "Your concern is not as important as my concern. Let's talk about mine instead." Kinda rude to hijack someone else's post to discuss your own topic (which, again, I agree with, rather than just making your own post about it.
1 week. 1 freaking week I get with my new born. It's insane.
I took four months off for the birth of my daughter and three months off of the birth of my son. I literally don’t understand how anyone would ever accept less
The GOP's goal is to push women out of the workforce and back into the role of homemaker (i.e. what they think every woman should be). That's why they don't want to make it easy to take time off: because the woman isn't supposed to have anything to take time off from and the man isn't supposed to degrade himself by engaging in childcare. This is the only way their actions make sense.
My wife and I get paid parental leave through work and I legitimately do not know how my we would have done it otherwise.
I'm not sure he remembers, but Biden had a plan subsidize childcare and cap costs as a % of income. Joe Manchin and every Republican killed it though. Edit to add that an entire party voted it down alongside Manchin
There’s also a bipartisan effort to increase dependent FSA account caps drastically *and* peg it to inflation. Naturally, it’s been stalled with no action for a huge amount of time now. My dependent care FSA essentially pays for 4 months of daycare for one kid. Pathetic.
I'm a two-time survivor of daycare, but holy shit a right-sizing of FSA Dependent Care account limits needs to happen like yesterday. The $5000 cap was established in ***1986***
It’s such a no brainer. It’s a “tax cut” in that contributed dependent care FSA dollars are tax free. It can also be billed as cutting the cost of child care since since you don’t pay taxes on it. Satisfied everyone. So naturally 1,000 useless pieces of legislation will be addressed first.
>The $5000 cap was established in ***1986*** That's nothing new. Nothing that's needed ever seems to be tied to inflation. If it is, it's the crappy inflation that doesn't account for insurance rates, and energy costs.
What the fuck?! Is that why it’s so laughably low?! I thought I was going crazy.
My job offered and supported FMLA and the first kid they didn't care. Second kid I took time off and they fired me lol
Scum bag company.
Hell yeah. When we had our first my wife's company fired her lol. It was my turn
It needs to, at the very least, be $5000 PER KID not total. It makes no sense to have the same cap regardless of amount of kids.
and they need to allow FSA to be fulfilled to the full amount sooner than the end of the year if you can prove you have used your full allotment already. I signed my daughter up for daycamp for the summer and it's already completely paid off, almost 4,000. But now I have to wait until the end of the year to get that money back that I've already spent. If I have verifiable proof it's been spent already, I should be able to get it back sooner.
Yes, obviously Biden’s debate performance was awful but his actual policy proposals have been stronger on child care affordability than any other administration by far. There was also a ton of money in the American Rescue Plan that basically is the only reason many facilities could hold on through COVID.
We need help. We’re being financially ruined by our choice to have children. At least love is free so I can afford to give them that.
While Blackrock analysts are screaming that the decling birth rate is going to cause labor shortages and massive inflation. But if they outlaw all forms of birth control and abortion and take the choice away from people....
We're only like 2 missed meals away from a modest proposal...
Either that or an indecent proposal
Well unless they’re gay or trans or a minority in which case I believe there’s a love surtax
Mitt Fucking Romney had a pretty good plan too that couldn't get support. It's so maddening.
Man, if Mitt Romney was the republican nominee I'd be so much less stressed about this election. Feels like a totally different era, even though it wasn't that long ago.
Remember when everyone made fun of Mitt for saying Russia was a concern? They were simpler times. He was a man that I was happy to have representing Utah in the senate. I wish the party in my state felt the same.
Am I the only one who would prefer _either_ Romney _or_ Obama over either Trump or Biden?
I’d take almost any candidate pre 2016 over what we have now. I was never worried before an election until 2016 and onward.
Each kid in daycare is basically another mortgage to be paid. It's as simple as that. And no one running a daycare is making money. It's simply terrible and unsustainable. It's in the country's best interest for universal quality childcare from 0-18.
Let's not forget the Child Tax Credit that also died. Still pisses me off
You can blame Joe Manchin, and sure he shares the blame, but let's make no mistake for any Republicans or centrists on this subreddit: not a single Republican did or would ever, EVER support lightening the financial burden of childcare for families in this country.
Yeah. Manchin is a complicit piece of shit but Republican policies have *explicitly* been about taking money from people and funneling it to corporations while also introducing more and more batshit proposals aimed at minorities, women, LGBTQ, and trans folks in order to appease their racist fundie voters. Both parties suck and both are bought and paid for by corporate interests. But they are not equal and only one of them even mildly cares about the welfare of American citizens.
While we're kicking Joe Manchin, remember that he was against parental leave because he thought that people would skip work to go hunting. And he was against the advanced child tax credit payments (you know, the one that significantly reduced child poverty for that year) because he thought that parents would blow the money *that they get as a write off from their taxes anyway* on drugs.
Very true. 98% of senators from one party supported it compared to 0% of the other. It's pretty clear where the problem lies. Edit for mathing bad
Came here to say the same thing but I guess none of that matters now after how last night went.
Yup. And even if he says this, an actual statistic, actual legislation, something tangible he did about it... ... it would just get overshadowed by "BiDeN iS oLd!!!!!???!!!!" and orange man yelling "childcare was the best under my presidency. The best childcare" Legit track record and legislation versus "He old" 🤷♂️
Manchin was the missing democrat vote but let’s not forget 50 GOP refused to vote for it too
It died because it was tied to a terrible pork barrel bill. The people you're praising have chosen not to push it as a single line item because it's politically expedient. No one is good on this issue.
I made my FINAL daycare/preschool payment last month. Three kids, 12 years, with some overlap where two kids were going at the same time. I worked it out a bit ago, and I spent more than $100,000 on childcare. My wife and I are teachers. It was a massive financial burden. Also, I love my kids.
I have 2 kids in daycare, almost 2 and almost 4. I spent $45k on daycare last year - just a normal daycare and not some bougie thing. It is absolutely fucking ludicrous and financially backbreaking
I had one kid. When she graduated from daycare, they sent us a statement that told us how much we had paid since she was an infant. it was 75k. I was like, why would you tell us something like that !!!
Setting aside political parties and points in general … We are so incredibly fucked across the board by the age and wealth of US politicians. Child care is one of many topics that I think is fundamentally a symptom of the complete inability of rich, elderly politicians to understand or empathize with the lives of Americans. Even their grandchildren are grown and their families have always been able to afford full-time staffs to care for their children for them. They don’t have a clue about anything the average person struggles with. I work in tech, and our tech laws in this country are absolute dogshit. But realistically all of these politicians were elderly before AOL even started. They don’t understand any of this. They have staffs and grandchildren to work their smart phones for them on their massive font sizes and it’s all irrelevant to them. And it’s all of our fault for letting it happen. If we demanded better politicians we’d get them. But we’re all so busy bickering over culture wars we just keep letting elderly rich people control us.
Giant fonts got me good
The last part is the heaviest truth we need to overcome. Stop arguing about bathrooms and kneeling at a football game. Let's overturn Citizens United and get money out of politics.
But a lot of people LIKE to argue about that. They feel power, control, worth, etc. from othering others. How do we fix that? I honestly don't know.
How much can a banana cost? This isn’t something new. JFK didn’t know the Great Recession was happening until he learned about it in college despite growing up during it it. The elites live different lives.
It’s just childcare, Michael. What could it cost? Ten dollars?
Go see a star war.
It's not a TRICK Michael, it's an *ILLUSION!*
Anyong
*Depression.
Depression, not recession. JFK had been dead for more than 40 years when the Great Recession happened.
I used to watch the debates with my grandfather and got a love for politics. I think since 2016 I wouldn’t want to watch them with my kids because I doubt they get the same feeling of importance that I got from watching the ones in the 90s.
I watched with my kids as they were growing up. My 20 year old daughter called yesterday and was like, "Are you guys seeing this shit?" She still watches and is very engaged but also outraged at her options for president.
Same. I showed my 5 year old a bit of the debate after explaining the importance and had to turn it off.
I explained what it was to my son about 15 minutes before it started. He is six. About 5 before it began I turned it off. Decided it wasn't something I wanted him to have to see yet. If we are lucky in 4 years when he is ten he can see actual people that actually care and aren't just career pieces of shit.
Expectation: "You see son, understanding the health of the national economy requires a complex grasp on everything from taxes to unemployment rates to international trade" Reality: "Daddy, what's a porn star and why are the grandpa's arguing about it?"
Trivia event last night had an audio round with clips from presidential and vice presidential debates, where you had to name the person and year. It was downright painful to hear clips from the modern years, juxtaposed against older clips of substance.
In Canada my daycare costs me $400 a month. And I got to take 3 months off with job protected leave when my boy was born. Not a bad deal
Mine cost $4300/month for 2 kids full-time. We make decent money but we’ll be accruing debt for another year or so. Fucking ridiculous.
Day care in my area is $2,800 a month per child I was out of work for 2 days after my last was born, and despite having 3 months of FMLA approved, they still threatened my job… after 2 fucking days.
This is the kind of stuff that happens when the people running the country are almost all old men who last had kids 40-50 years ago and who never helped out at home. Honestly give me a 38 year old single mom running for President and I'll be their strongest soldier.
And yet almost 50 yrs ago we almost had things like subsidized childcare, but it got nixed at the last minute.
There are a lot of people who think of women as conditional citizens.
As someone who's been pretty politically engaged (or at least attentative) for like the last 20+ years, I didn't even bother watching.... It's so, so depressing that at least according to political parties, these two are our "best" options to lead our country.
One is far worse than the other. It’s an easy decision for me, but I’m not thrilled about it
While I 100% agree with you I think we can't lose sight of the fact that something is terribly wrong here. A country with a population of over 340 million people and we're picking between these two? One's better but this current election is deeply unsettling. I'd love to vote for a president who I can confidently say would be able to set up a smart TV.
Regardless of who wins the election we can all be sure that it won't be the American people. How is that we got to a point there these are the guys we have to decide between? Once upon a time it was controversial when Obama put mustard on a hot dog and wore a tweed suit.
The Republicans have been taken over by christo-fascist ideologues, and the Democrats are being run into the ground by arrogant geriatrics too addicted to power to hand it off to the next generation.
> How is that we got to a point there these are the guys we have to decide between? I mean, Joe Biden won the Democratic primary election in 2019. Out of the options we were given, he's who we collectively decided was our best bet. I'm not his biggest fan, but online discussions can get awfully conspiracy-theory about him getting the nomination when the explanation is *very* simple.
Same. I wish I didn't have to vote for Biden, but I would prefer my children have a country to inherit.
Just two people completely outta touch with reality. Trump was too rich to worry about the cost of anything Back in Bidens day, a single income can support a full family without a college education… Once we done talking about child care, we should talk about the bullshit of not making paid maternity leave mandatory at a federal level. The worlds laughing at us.
> paid maternity leave mandatory at a federal level. Paid **parental** leave. We benefit from dads having that leave too.
Thank you, poop-dolla.
Yes but we are also a bit afraid, America is a powerhouse that can do damage on a global scale and they don't even need the military to do that.
Trust me, we're only superficial laughing. Mostly we're holding our breaths.
I was laughing through the whole debate. Or else I'd have to face the realities.
We're only laughing to stop ourselves from crying.
dependent care fsa limit for is like $5k…ridiculously out of touch with the costs of daycare not to mention some have multiple kids in daycare. like it’s such an easy answer i can’t believe their responses (lack of rather).
This hasn’t been updated for decades. That $5000 pays for like 1.25 months for me. Fucking laughable. In fact, it’s hardly worth it with all the hoops I have to jump through to get the reimbursement. This should be bumped to $25k **per child**
not to mention it would have a direct impact on birth rates which there’s a big push for…
The whole topic is infuriating. I don't love Biden and I actively despise Trump. I feel like our two choices are either "spinning our wheels waiting for progress to slowly trickle out" or "aggressively break everything". But I'm almost more fed up with voters than I am with the two candidates. "These are the best the parties could come up with?" Well did you vote in the primary? Yeah 2024 might have felt like a foregone conclusion, but there were other Democrats available in 2020. Both parties had multiple options in 2016. And yet primaries have abysmal turnout every single time. There's valuable lessons here for our kids about "learned helplessness".
Stepping back from the subject, as a dad with a mortgage and working in the lay off minefield field of tech, I just felt a lot more uneasy about my future watching these two. With the market hitting ATHs, it feels like we’re bound to fall off a cliff sooner or later and one of these guys will have to lead the country out of it. 😵💫
I will kindly remind you that despite all the predictions of us entering a recession after COVID, we did not and we are now the fastest recovering economy in the world. You can thank the Biden administration for that.
Late stage capitalism at its finest.
This post could quickly go off the rails, so kudos to you OP for opening up divisive topic. As a Dad I now look at politics a little differently. I need to make sure I leave a society for my kids that isn't a hell scape. And given the reality of our system, I have two and only two choices to make my children's lives better. 1. An old man who doesn't know what day of the week it is, but has advanced clean energy policies, civil rights policies, and economic policies that will make my kids lives better. or 2. An equally old man who wants to destroy democracy and my kids ability to have a participatory government, will remove their rights, deport their friends, destroy their economy... A forgetful old man seems miles and miles better than the other option. I think this is an important dad topic, but I also know how reddit is. So if you disagree with me, all I can say is that you're not paying attention, and I hope you don't ruin it for my kids. I'm out.
The forgetful old man that's battled a stuttering problem his whole life also surrounds himself with competent professionals. The other has a cabinet full of either felons or people that actively speak out against him and his ever present threat to democracy. Biden did have a legislative plan for reigning in childcare costs. Republicans obliterated it.
Yup, I came here to comment on the cabinets too. One has a cabinet of respected leaders and experts in their respective fields while the other has a cabinet full of his friends and people he owes favors to. While POTUS is the most important decision, the cabinets and leadership POTUS puts in place is what ultimately will run a country. Also... if you all haven't seen what the conservative agenda is for this cycle, check out John Oliver's breakdown of Project 2025, it's absolutely horrifying for the future generation such as completely dismantling the Department of Education and NOAA.
Trump can't even pay lawyers exorbitant rates to represent him. How is he going to fill the cabinet at federal pay structure with anyone other than a grifter? The choice is obvious, but the obvious is lost on a lot of people in this country. I am fucking pissed at Biden and pissed at the DNC for not fielding a viable candidate.
The two greatest political errors of the 21st century were nominating Hillary Clinton and RBG not stepping down in like 2013. That said, we’ve been on this downward slide since at least Reagan and it was gonna bite us sooner or later. At least Trump is stupid and greedy enough that he was incapable of dismantling the state in one term.
At this point, I'll take an empty chair backed by a committee putting forward good policies. If Biden has to sit in the chair while the people around him do the work, so be it. It's better than a person who will only aggressively drive self serving policies
This is the biggest thing for me. Biden is ready to admit that he doesn't know everything and surrounds himself with people that do understand stuff he doesn't. He understands that he is not king and is not expected to govern every little thing in everyone's lives. Unfortunately, I fear after seeing my wife's tik tok page that younger people are just focused on Biden tripping over words and looking tired. They are so busy making fun of his performance that they do not care to learn how much lied through his teeth all night. It is much easier to debate when your thoughts are not based on truth and you can just make up anything on the spot.
Something that always stood out to me when I read a book about Genghis Khan was that one of this strongest abilities was finding the right person for a job. He'd absorb the generals of his enemies who performed admirably. There was a story about an archer who almost hit him with an arror from a ridiculous distance and he made him part of his personal guard. When I was in business school something they drilled on us too was good managers delegate and one of the most common reason a start-up fails is because the founder is unwilling to let other people have control of parts of *their* baby. My point of all of this is while Biden left plenty to be desired in his overall performance yesterday at an absolute minimum he's the adult in the room who knows how to surround himself with intelligent people who he can trust to make good decisions. Trump is a toddler bully who demands sycophantic loyalty from people around him, with a core tenant of project 2025 being that they can change the designation of non-political federal employees (scientists, etc) who are not supposed to be swayed by the policy platform of the current administration *to* political positions who *are* supposed to bend their recommendations to the administrations goals. Think of Trump drawing on the map with the sharpie, except the map having been already updated to match that desired message because the federal metrologists have to kowtow.
The BlackThorn had the same experience.
This really struck me after watching an interview with the brilliant young lawyer he appointed to head the FTC. She’s taking on things Biden could never wrap his head around and she’s doing an incredible job. If all he does is appoint people like her, then I’m happy.
I think it's important to remember the reality of American politics in this day and age is that it is run by a huge team that is appointed by the president with party approval. The president really doesn't do much, and at both of their age, this is absolutely about the party and not the person. While identity politics is a real problem, the nature of voting in a 2 party system is ideology-oriented. Don't focus on which president you want to vote for, focus on which party's platform has the most alignment with your world view and vote accordingly. Don't get sucked into the debates or any of the spectacle, just go read the plans each of them have for the country on their party websites. For the sake of transparency, I am a Canadian.
Speaking of which, if you haven't read it yet, please go have a look at the Republicans' Project 2025. Yeah, it's 900 pages long but people have done the work of linking to the bits that cover particular topics. The Republicans are telling us exactly how they plan to dismantle the government and move hard towards theocracy the next time they get the presidency. They are not kidding. More people need to know just how bad this is going to be while it's still possible to vote against it.
Dead on. We know for a fact that this is true because when Trump was in office his days didn’t start till 11am, he got briefings that had to contain photos (doesn’t read) then he would have a 4hr block of “executive time” (tv time) and then spent Wednesday - Sunday making the secret service pay inflated hotel room prices while he golfed at his clubs.
This is essentially an election of picking your mascot, not an actual leader. Do you want the team that actively wants to make lives better? Or do you want the team that gleefully exists in a different reality? It's honestly that simple. The two old dudes yelling at each other on stage have little-to-nothing to do with what actually comes next.
Could not have said it better myself. Both candidates are bad. But one is straight willing, and we have seen it with our own eyes, to destroy the foundations and ideals this country was built upon. And probably eventually the country itself. I agree. The children are the future and we need to leave them a country they can survive in and have a good life.
Both candidates are not bad. Both candidates were bad in the debate. Trump is bad all the time. Biden has been extremely good in office, regardless of his debate performance.
You are correct. He is not bad. I just wish we had better choices than the old dudes. But at least Biden respects the country.
You said it more kindly than I did, and I hope you get through. I'm so sick of the bullshit, and I've been dressing down people freaking out over Biden's (admittedly poor) performance in the debate. Don't be a moron. Think about your kids.
All, please research where the parties stand on child tax credits https://www.cbpp.org/blog/key-senate-republicans-reported-position-on-child-tax-credit-would-weaken-bills-support-for#:~:text=The%20Senate%20Republicans%20are%20reportedly,improvements%20until%20tax%20year%202024.
That was such a shit show. One guy cant not tell egregious lies every sentence and the other not even sure which sentence he was going to say. The choice is still clear but ffs how are we here. Lets hope the local more important elections go better.
These men are roughly the same age as bill clinton and george w. The presendent elects of 92 and 00. These guys havent raised children in a long long time.
I was embarrassed to be American last night.
A national childcare program was supposed to be Ivanka's signature accomplishment from Trump's first term. Like everything else it was a lie, Trump is awful and no one should believe a word he utters.
And then many bitch about dropping childbirth rates... like hey, if you want more bodies for the grinder that is capitalism, maybe make it easier to have some kids?
So, this is off topic, but I saw some of the debate and was completely struck by how much Trump’s mannerisms were like Homelander’s when listening to Biden.
It's intentional https://www.rollingstone.com/tv-movies/tv-movie-features/boys-penis-homelander-trump-billy-joel-season-3-1369258/ >He’s always been a Trump analogue for me.
I just tuned in for 10min in the middle, but Biden *did* bring up day-care costs and legislation he passed to help with it — albeit in the context of Black families only. (And his talking point was "Black families have these troubles, and Black parents have these issues, and …", in a way that smacked of painting "Black families' issues" with too wide a brush. I know a debate isn't the place for nuance, but it struck me as slightly patronizing.)
That may have been on response to Trump, who was going on and on about how Biden hurts black people. I felt like Biden had to be on defense most of the night cuz Trump was just repeating extreme lies over and over
Yeah. And the Biden administration had child care subsidies in their Build Back Better plan which would have benefited all lower and middle class families. It was blocked by Republicans.
Well, unless you want to raise your kids under a dictatorship there’s really only one choice. Hint: it’s not the guy with 3 active indictments, 34 felonies, has been found liable of rape and fraud and also owes the state of New York half a billion dollars.
I wonder... would the cost of childcare (and perhaps almost everything) be helped by a system in which insurance was required to be only non-profit?
I doubt it because insurance doesn't pay for childcare. The high cost of childcare is that for really good reasons it is heavily regulated by the government but is not subsidized enough to be affordable. Other countries that have cheap daycare either have very low wages, little regulation or oversight, or have heavy government funding.
The daycare place has to pay expensive insurance. That's the insurance I'm talking about.
Both candidates are old and crazy but Biden did try to pass legislation for universal pre K and that was blocked by Republicans. I hope that and more gets done very soon.
This is one of those things where we need to work on individual states. States need to start implementing stuff. We’re too large to manage on a national level. Yes we need good policy at the federal level, but we really need to start getting governors and state legislatures to mimic what they want to see.
My 3.5 yr old asked me what i was looking at on my phone, which ended with my explaining what a president is, what was happening and why it was important. The whole time knowing how much of a shitshow last night would end up becoming. Not the first time I've lied to him, but it was the only one I have felt dirty about.
I went to an event for a senate candidate in my state and asked him to his face about this. Childcare is a perfect example of a market failure. We can’t pay more, centers don’t seem to be able to charge less, and the workers are unfortunately paid peanuts. My oldest is about to start kindergarten and I almost threw up when I saw how expensive summer camp is. I have a good friend who moved to Europe and gets heavily subsidized childcare because it’s seen as a public good. I don’t know what the right solution here is, but I know the current system isn’t working and we as parents need to make our voices heard.
I am from Austria- we have up to 3 years of paid parental leave, also a thing called "dad month" where the dad can stay with the wife and child for 1 month right after birth, also paid. Our first son is almost 2 years old and in kindergarden every day from 6:30 to 14:00, for which we pay 60 euros / month. People here are complaining that our child care possibilities are insufficient. And they are working on making things better. I cannot even imagine the hell you are going through raising a kid in the US. Mad respect to you lads. Seriously hoping things change for the better for you. Also, fuck those 2 guys, the debate yesterday was one of the most embarrassing political discussions I witnessed. And we have quite some imbeciles here as well.
I know a 70-year-old who ran for office a few years back. Their campaign advisor had worked for Jimmy Carter. Literally nobody involved in their campaign was under 70. Their platform revolved around lowering property taxes and decreasing the estate tax. And they're a democrat. I asked them and their campaign advisor what they were doing for millennials or gen Z. Their answer? "Millennials don't vote." I asked if they could at least put legalized pot or abortion protections on their platform. "No, we don't want to be divisive" Old politicians are completely uninterested in modernizing. They have this brutally conservative (in the traditional sense) view that they can cooperate with opponents who are out for blood and not competing in good faith.
To be fair, Biden atleast tried to answer the question. Trump just went back to a random ass response - all fucking night. Overall, the fact that these are our choices in this great country is really saddening.
Yeah, we're cooked as the kids say.
Biden supports universal pre k Trump supports, uhh, something? Who TF knows, he says a lot of shit
Private Christian schools and gutting public education. That's essentially the platform of the GOP right now and Trump is basically the GOP right now.
I wish we had someone running closer to Obama or Clinton's age when they were first elected.
I'd prefer someone at FDRs age of 42 over this
Debate performances don't mean ****. Policy matters and determining what kind of world you want for your child's life is all that matters. There is one clear candidate that has actual attempted meaningful change going forward the other in my view offers nothing. Empathy and compassion will always guide my personal views so I generally will pick a candidate that does the same. Easy choice.
One guy still hugs his kids and cares for them and one guy said his kid was hot. I feel like that says a lot.
Who among us hasn’t said that maybe they’d be dating their child if they weren’t related to them? Oh right, nobody but agent orange.
Childcare is one of those weird institutions where I’m not sure how it’s still alive. Like everyone loses. There are no winners.
It was cheaper for me to be a stay at home father for 4 years than actively work because of childcare costs (not just the nanny, but everything else).
I mean it’s all a show isn’t it? The last reasonable debate was probably 2012. I’m sure the major funding individuals for the DNC and GOP see what’s happening, that or they’re laughing to themselves about our demise. I honestly don’t think there’s any hope for democracy at this point, especially now that the Supreme Court essentially ruled bribery is legal. We are now living under capitalism. Not democracy. It’s official.
Nailed it. When the federal government is gutted and agencies like the FDA and EPA are neutered to allow for maximum corporate profits, watch what happens to the health of this nation. When the health of citizens becomes an afterthought, that’s when I’ll finally seriously consider dipping out.
I wish we could have a pretax acct just For childcare and also have insurance. I don’t need employer contributions to both. Just let me save $$$ pretax for childcare
No answer to the most directly relevant question to my life smh
I was shouting at the screen when they wouldn’t answer, and unlike them I need affordable childcare to be able to afford to play golf lol.
As a European I’m shocked reading your comments here. I love my children to death but I wouldn’t have started a family if I lived in the US. Not being able to be with your baby, fuck that. Even as a father you get a couple of weeks off and then you can take an additional 9 weeks spread out plus your own vacations days if you want more.
Come to Germany. Not everything is great here. And clearly there is still a lot of discrimination against women who get a baby, but: 14 months partially paid parental leave for the two parents together (standard split is though 12 months for the mother and two months for the father, but the parents can split them how they like with a max of twelve months for one person. And you get 60% of your salary but it max out at about 1600€). Plus women go on fully paid pre birth leave two months before due date. Kindergarten is for free in most areas as well. Again not all golden in Germany.. But I feel like this is going the right way.
I have two kids. My youngest is severely disabled. I’m the sole provider as my wife cannot work because my daughter needs 24/7 supervision. I make more than the average person, but not enough to be financially worry free. With my disabled daughters special needs I am basically loving check to check. I was just denied Medicaid and was told I will need to wait several years for SSI (which would cover a fraction of her expenses). I’m a centrist, and lean more towards conservative recently. But whatever the fuck is going on right now is not it and I have no support. Our system is broken.