what about non schooling events? Like doctor’s waiting rooms, queuing in the supermarket, etc? feel like this could be groundbreaking for my self confidence…
I was a mechanic at a Mercedes dealer for a period of time. There was an older fellow who took me under his wing named Larry. Him and I once were joking about having a tussle. He looked at me and said, "there's only shame in it for you. You either beat an old man or an old man beats you."
I love this idea. It would be hilarious, win or lose, to just be constantly racing dads in parking lots all over town, and we all get in better shape! I feel like this is the vague outline of a phone app/social network. Race Dads, even with no one else to race you sprint across a parking lot and anyone else can go to that spot and run your race to try and beat your time.
That could go either way. Because there’s one for dad who makes cookies with vanilla protein powder, Greek yogurt, monk fruit sweetener and carob. Then there’s the fit dad who busts out his cheat day cookie recipe that’s 1500 cal/cookie and so good that you’ll openly weep.
I think I can be in the top running for the fun dad competition. When I show up to daycare I do my best to sneak up on my son or dodge his attempts to catch me while he chases me around their playground. Teachers say I'm the only parent they see play.
I would kick that bake sale’s ass. I went through a chocolate chip cookie phase a few years back and I sent a lot of them with my wife to her office. So we went to a drinks thing with some of her coworkers and they were telling me how lucky I am that she bakes so well and made all those delicious cookies. Yeah, that got a quick “excuse me, the cookies that WHO made?”
I'm not fit at all and I'd still sign up. Even if I lose. Point is to show your kid it's ok to do your best, and try, even if you don't expect to win. All about communicating the idea that it's ok to be bad at things or worse than others, and making your best effort for a good cause.
Unless they wanted something like a 5k or 10k run, one week to the next. I'm nowhere near fit enough to attempt that. But if it's a silly little race around a track or the school grounds, whatever!
There is always a group of ultra competitive try too hard and take it way too seriously people in any of these adult "fun" races/competitions. They'll legitimately train for these things for no reason other than to relive their glory days in sports. OP never had a chance.
"Kids, all those ripped buff guys you see in movies and on TV, that's all CGI. This right here... *attempts to rip off T-shirt, fails, struggles for twenty seconds, gives up and attempts to take it off, gets stuck with it over his head, spins around a few times, has to be helped by the old lady who plays the piano, then takes a few minutes catching his breath* ... is the peak of the male physical form."
If the bear is brown, lie down.
If the bear is black, fight back.
If the bear is white, they’re very endangered and global warming is making it so much worse so really the most ethical thing you could ever do in your life would be to let one eat you. Especially if you’ve brought a seal as a side dish.
You should wear bells so they can hear you coming. Also, know your bear scat. Brown bear scat is like dog kibble. Grizzley bear scat is like brown bear scat but it has little bells in it.
In about [20 hours ](https://zooologist.com/polar-bear-digestive-system/#:~:text=The%20polar%20bear%20digestive%20system%20takes,to%20digest%20the%20food%20%28seal%20blubber%29.&text=The%20polar%20bear%20digestive,the%20food%20%28seal%20blubber%29.&text=bear%20digestive%20system%20takes,to%20digest%20the%20food)very much behind the bear for sure.
Maybe you and the other two last-place dads could pool resources? Get an apartment together, new identities, go into hiding for a while until this whole thing blows over? Train together, become an elite crime-fighting force. Stage a bank robbery, arrange it so that some of the young-buck dads are there and get taken hostage. Rescue them and earn their undying fealty. Cue a sappy 90s song, slowly walk toward your partner and children who thought they'd never see you again but now embrace you as a hero. Go home, put the kids to bed, promise them you'll never disappear again. Partner is waiting for you with a glass of wine and that sexy underwear you love. Cut to black. Credits.
I'm 42. Son is 8. It was all Dads so there were guys there who were 25-30 as their kids are 4-5.
I think my distance running/endurance events background gave me false confidence.
42 and competing against 20s and 30s? No shame then. Good job not coming in dead last--that guy should be embarrassed.
I'm in my late 30s and quite fit. Still, I can't compete with most 20 year olds or people in their early 30s in any sort of speed or agility competition anymore. Even 5 year younger me would dominate today me. Getting old sucks.
On the bright side, I'm still strong as hell. Old man strength is real and is one of the last things to go. We can enjoy that until like 45-50 before becoming totally decrepit and need to be put out to pasture.
The ages of normal families are so weird to me. I live in LA and almost no one starts a family until their 30s. I’m 50 and my kid is 11. As far as dad-ages go, I’m in the middle of the pack. The youngest dad I know from school is late 30s and the oldest is in his 60s.
I can’t imagine having a kid at 25 but that’s so normal everywhere else.
[Gold star](https://i.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExaWx0ZzMxc3Y2Zzg0eHd3b3B6NnJ6azJocWx2b3ExbTZpaGRlN283ZSZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/3otPora2GgtfqRX7Xy/giphy.gif) for you!
You or your pants didn't fall down, didn't step on a classmate, no mess in your shorts? I think you're being hard on yourself and everyone else already forgot.
> distance runner
> 100m
See, there's your problem.
Kidding aside, I was a sprinter in my prime and I know full well I'd get absolutely smoked in the 100 nowadays. The damage I've done to my body in the last 20 years...
Yeah I’m 30 and was a sprinter too. I worked at a college town pizzeria last year. The other drivers(19-21) always decided who got to go home early when it was slow by doing a foot race across the back parking lot. I won every single time because those kids are trash, but good god did I feel it the next day. Also pulled my hamstring in a softball game last summer running half speed. Getting old sucks and I’m not even as old as you!
I used to sprint in HS and then started distance running in my 30s. My son and i were playing football one day and i was leading him and staying just in front of him teasing him to catch me. Then, just to show off, i said "Afterburners baby!" and kicked it into that next gear. I got about 20 feet and then pulled both hamstrings. We definitely aren't what we used to be.
I'm scared this is me lol. Also 30, was also a sprinter. I'm in the gym 2-4x a week but I haven't sprinted in years. I think about trying it just for fun but I just imagine imma hurt myself lmao
As a distance runner you're clearly over trained for a 100m sprint and were letting their fragile egos win while knowing you'd demolish them in anything over a mile
Honestly, as a distance runner myself, 100m is tough. That’s all fast twitch muscle all out. I’ll bet if the race was 1600m, you would have dominated, or at least placed in the top 3.
that's right, we need u/Enough-Ad3818 to join the school council and organize another event with variable distances. This is a totally novel idea that I just came up with, no one has ever done something like this before. It's a gathering of parents and they have multiple distances to choose from, 100m, 150m, 200m, 400m, 800m, and 1500m.
Totally unique idea TM by me.
I think we are onto something... we could actually make something out of this event. Maybe even an event that captivates the whole world, call me a dreamer.
Yeah, I'm 40. I just had a "relay" during a military training and did 2x800s (with about 10 minutes rest) in 2:50ish each. I SMOKED the young kids(and that's not THAT fast), and I do well on the 1.5 mile PT test as well. Then I pulled a groin muscle playing frisbee, I'm not even sure I'd enter a 100m race. So good for you.
You didn’t lose. Given that you were overqualified for what was essentially an amateur competition, you demonstrated grace and empathy by allowing the other dads to win.
This comment gave me PTSD. You see, I was a monster at Quake/Q2 on PC but I always got wrecked at Goldeneye because it doesn't support mouse and keyboard.
I didn't have an N64 until I sold my PlayStation on eBay and used the proceeds to buy one, but before that happened I would play GoldenEye at my best friend's house and consistently get lit up by his older brother.
There's no worse feeling than dying, respawning in the air vent, and knowing that there's a prox mine right at exit into the toilet stall.
Is it though? You're a distance runner. You likely don't have those fast twitch muscle fibers the younger guys have.
Bet you'd beat more of them in a 5k
I am also 42, have been running every week for 15 years. I do longer distances. I have felt like I could smoke nearly all of the dads in a 100m race for a long time. You are shaking my confidence in this assumption.
I think if it was a mandatory race you'd destroy most of the other dads.
Distance running and sprinting are two separate things though.
But you gotta fit some HIIT in on some of your days if you wanna increase your sprinting skill. Just be careful of injuries.
I say you flip this around and tell your son you did it to make a teachable moment about why peer pressure isn't a great idea.
Mister Miyagi this shit.
That's why I've started sprint training while my little one is 3.
When she has her first sports day, I am going to Usain Bolt the fuck out of everyone else.
I can relate to this so much. I did the exact same thing around ten years ago. At that time I was early thirties. I’m not an idiot, I didn’t think for one second I’d win the race. The reality: second last out of approximately twenty five. My confidence was five meters ahead of my pride. This was the day I accepted I was getting older. My wife and daughter continue to taunt to this day.
If you know you're going to suck I suggest showing up in an obnoxious outfit. Like the speed walking suit that Hal wore in Malcolm in the Middle. Really...really overplay your hand. I suggest a lot of obnoxious boasting and telling people you've been studying parental races for weeks in preparation.
Then right out the gate, take a prat fall, pretend you blew out a quad, and get carried off the field. Remember to give a thumbs up when they put you in the ambulance.
The moral of the story, if you are the least embarrassed person in the story, you win. Your wife and child will never talk about the situation again and hopefully it will turn into a repressed memory that keeps you out of track and field events for the rest of your life.
I am a good dad.
🤣🤣 that was an attempt at encouragement, not a put down. I'm just saying you are winning the game there. Nobody has to be in shape to run 100m quickly, which was what I was getting at.
It's too late to be athlete-dad, but don't give up on tailgate-dad.
For the next race, bring a cooler on wheels. Halfway around the track, stop, Crack a beer, and sit on the cooler watching the rest of the dad's sweat.
I’ve run several 5ks with my daughter through an after school program. Never in the top, but never last either. I’m older and overweight. My daughter runs circles around me, but hangs with me all the same.
What I’ve found is that what matters most to her is that it’s something we’ve done together and she appreciates that. OP - you did something with your son that so many didn’t at all. It’s all making memories. In that there is no defeat.
Former 30+ year old 400m specialist here.
You probably know but, shorter distance races are more dependent on fast twitch muscle fibers and CNS fire rate/ coordination and anaerobic capacity. All of which decline faster with with age than other parts of the skeletal-muscular system (even with upkeep). Don't get me wrong you still have ***much*** more than 20-30 year olds who don't sprint much. And even more than 40 year olds who do. But distance runners build more slow twitch fibers and aerobic capacity than the other systems.
So you ran a 100m race against dads half your age who do also run. You never really had a chance because 100m sprints is basically all fast twitch and CNS. The strengths you built up from distance running weren't really at play for this kind of race.
I promise you, the younger dad's were more inspired by you than anything.
PS: if this had been a 400m or more, I think you would have done much better because your strengths as a distance runner would have been at play despite your age.
100m
Maybe race my 8yo? I'm 6ft 3 so usually can beat him at a light jog, but he did a distance race and was really swift, so I'm definitely concerned.
My dad was a marathoner, and I remember when I finally had a faster mile than him: 6th grade. You probably have a little bit longer.
He had me at 25, though, so not as much of an age gap as you and I have with our kids.
I need the age of the kid and how many you have. That impacts the judgement.
I'm kidding. You have to remember very few people can even run, let alone run a distance.
He's 8yo, and only child.
I did laugh with a Syrian Dad who was laughing when I said my kid would be embarrassed. He claimed his oldest daughter is 17, middle is 13 and youngest is 8, and so he has been able to embarrass his girls over two decades and two continents so far. I was genuinely impressed.
Your problem is that you competed against other adults. I’ve been playing pickup basketball against some of my son’s friends, 10-12 yo’s. I’m absolutely annihilating them.
Omg I’d kill to participate in a dad race what school district do I need to move my kids to?
I was a late bloomer and I’d love to smoke other people my age now. Very few casual opportunities to race someone full speed.
Eh… you know what… when I was a kid my 45 year old dad decided to run this race with literal college kids. This was the very early 90s and he was going finishing going back to school (!).
Apparently he had been an all city runner in high school. Anywho for like weeks before the race he goes to the track to practice and runs the whole thing….
He finished… wayyyyyy last. I mean… way way last. I mean he’s out there with a fucking ace bandage on his knee going for it against kids literally half his age. And at the time, me being about 6 or 7, I thought it was terrible and embarrassing for him. Now at nearly 40 myself, I think: god damn. That dude had fucking balls to even go out there, I’m sure knowing the outcome, and did it anyways.
So maybe your son will someday draw the same conclusion.
Competing against children, Dads have the experience and craftiness advantage. Head starts, moving targets, and other general dad tricks to win. Only the wisest and Dad-est amongst the Dads will be able to use these skills to their advantage.
If it was important to your kid, then you win just for doing it, in my opinion. There may be a few dads taking the competition really seriously, but it's more just that you were doing it for your kid. I say, take the participation ribbon gracefully. 😁
Unless it turns out that your kid gets bullied for how terrible a runner their dad is from now on. In that case, time to get that training regimen going for next year.
This is the first time I’ve felt threatened by the specter of competitive sports reappearing in my late thirties. Do they choose captains and pick dads one by one until only the fat software engineers are left? Do they do results by age group like the Turkey Trot?
I’ll have to train for this… becoming a sprinter this late in life seems like a fast way to pull a hamstring. Do they have a Dad’s bench press or deadlift competition?
I was often put to shame by my peers in my late 20’s because, though I was no slob and certainly not “un-athletic”, I simply didn’t feel the need to challenge them physically.
One day it hit me… I’ve fathered 6 children. I cook at least 8 different types of cuisine. And I grow a full beard. On top of that, my ability to dedicate myself to something is such that I play 7 musical instruments proficiently. The question of my virility does not come down to a potato sack race against a dude who shaves his legs before he hits the tanning bed.
The problem is that if I were in decent shape then my muscles would be strong enough to destroy an achilles or something. If I don’t have an asthma attack first.
I know this is in jest but as a fellow distance runner, distance and sprints are entirely different beasts. In this case we're talking endurance vs. power. I can run a half marathon and a pretty good clip for an average joe but translate that to anything less than a 10k and I'm slow AF. Unless you actively work both areas ones gonna suffer.
lol. That sucks. Thankfully I’m not a runner and I’d easily bow out. I’ll challenge other dads to a variety of contests, drinking, building, drunken building, but not running.
Remember the fear being an older dad. The Dad-kid kickball game and the big squishy ball headed right to me in the outfield. Thinking "better not drop it". Thankfully I didn't but the fear was definitely there.
The last one I was in my friend's idiot son was officiating and stood on the finish line in my lane at the end.
That was fine, because, like a character in a video game, I can just stop instantly whilst running at full speed, as if I have hit an imaginary wall.
Or a child.
I came 5th. Out of 5. I should have come 4th!
Time to hang your head in shame, go home lick your wounds (metaphorically), then jump into a training montage which ends with a beach run and a celebratory manly-man-hug at the edge of the crashing surf.
Or get better than all of them at BBQing, smoking meats & lawncare. Tell them all "nice work sport".
Probably only the fit dads signed up. I wouldn't feel bad. You're definitely in better shape than the slobs who didn't participate!
Classic sample bias. OP you gotta start challenging dads to races at other events...food drives, bake sales, etc.
what about non schooling events? Like doctor’s waiting rooms, queuing in the supermarket, etc? feel like this could be groundbreaking for my self confidence…
Leaving the grocery store, see an old man pushing a cart, "HEY, I'LL RACE YA, BITCH"
"See, I toasted that loser. Let's see what the spreadsheet thinks *now*." *Pulls out phone*
HOW MANY TIMES DO I NEED TO TEACH YOU THIS LESSON OLD MAN!
I was a mechanic at a Mercedes dealer for a period of time. There was an older fellow who took me under his wing named Larry. Him and I once were joking about having a tussle. He looked at me and said, "there's only shame in it for you. You either beat an old man or an old man beats you."
Mandelbaum! Mandelbaum!
It's go time!
😂😂
ANYTIME, ANYWHERE.
Only if you're wearing your light up trainers though for +5 mph to top speed
This is precisely why I only challenge dads in the hospice unit to races so I dont get my feelings hurt
Yeah! The feeling of winning, and then getting to go home to your loving family!
I love this idea. It would be hilarious, win or lose, to just be constantly racing dads in parking lots all over town, and we all get in better shape! I feel like this is the vague outline of a phone app/social network. Race Dads, even with no one else to race you sprint across a parking lot and anyone else can go to that spot and run your race to try and beat your time.
Or challenge those fit dads to a bake sale!
That could go either way. Because there’s one for dad who makes cookies with vanilla protein powder, Greek yogurt, monk fruit sweetener and carob. Then there’s the fit dad who busts out his cheat day cookie recipe that’s 1500 cal/cookie and so good that you’ll openly weep.
FYI: this is that cookie: https://tasty.co/recipe/brown-butter-toffee-chocolate-chip-cookies
This is where it is!
The foot race event at the bake sale... The Wheezy Shuffle '24!
I've medaled in that 3 years running....errrrrmm...lightly jogging
Anyone up for smash brothers? I...may have played before ..
I think I can be in the top running for the fun dad competition. When I show up to daycare I do my best to sneak up on my son or dodge his attempts to catch me while he chases me around their playground. Teachers say I'm the only parent they see play.
Hot dog eating contests..
I would kick that bake sale’s ass. I went through a chocolate chip cookie phase a few years back and I sent a lot of them with my wife to her office. So we went to a drinks thing with some of her coworkers and they were telling me how lucky I am that she bakes so well and made all those delicious cookies. Yeah, that got a quick “excuse me, the cookies that WHO made?”
Can confirm. Am bake sale dad. Running is for people who didn't plan adequately.
Slob dad here and I agree, OP is a king for participating. Go dad!!
100%. There’s always a slobbier fish.
Hi there, it’s me, I’m the slob.
I'm not fit at all and I'd still sign up. Even if I lose. Point is to show your kid it's ok to do your best, and try, even if you don't expect to win. All about communicating the idea that it's ok to be bad at things or worse than others, and making your best effort for a good cause. Unless they wanted something like a 5k or 10k run, one week to the next. I'm nowhere near fit enough to attempt that. But if it's a silly little race around a track or the school grounds, whatever!
Look on the bright side - OP made the other dads look good to their children and wives
There is always a group of ultra competitive try too hard and take it way too seriously people in any of these adult "fun" races/competitions. They'll legitimately train for these things for no reason other than to relive their glory days in sports. OP never had a chance.
Lol it’s funny.
Gotta own it. Tell your son youre going to step in and teach PE, coach the track team, and give a school assembly on peak performance.
You may not like it, but this is what peak male performance looks like.
"Kids, all those ripped buff guys you see in movies and on TV, that's all CGI. This right here... *attempts to rip off T-shirt, fails, struggles for twenty seconds, gives up and attempts to take it off, gets stuck with it over his head, spins around a few times, has to be helped by the old lady who plays the piano, then takes a few minutes catching his breath* ... is the peak of the male physical form."
How bad is annihilated
Probably 10th out of 12.
So you *didn't* get eaten by the bear. I call that a win.
The bear was 9th
New survival strategy, run BEHIND the bear
Establish dominance I'm not trapped here with the bear The bear is trapped here with me
If the bear is brown, lie down. If the bear is black, fight back. If the bear is white, they’re very endangered and global warming is making it so much worse so really the most ethical thing you could ever do in your life would be to let one eat you. Especially if you’ve brought a seal as a side dish.
You should wear bells so they can hear you coming. Also, know your bear scat. Brown bear scat is like dog kibble. Grizzley bear scat is like brown bear scat but it has little bells in it.
Bear scat is the last thing you hear as they maul you. Often accompanied by a raccoon on bass and a squirrel on drums.
Or orangutans singing about how they want to be human
You can always spot bear poop cuz it smells like pepper spray
Does it count as being behind the bear if you're inside the bear?
Excuse me - bear f*cker - do you need assistance?!?
It appears it's not just women that choose the bear.
I understood that reference 🤣😁
In about [20 hours ](https://zooologist.com/polar-bear-digestive-system/#:~:text=The%20polar%20bear%20digestive%20system%20takes,to%20digest%20the%20food%20%28seal%20blubber%29.&text=The%20polar%20bear%20digestive,the%20food%20%28seal%20blubber%29.&text=bear%20digestive%20system%20takes,to%20digest%20the%20food)very much behind the bear for sure.
Has the bear defecated yet? I think that would be the difference between "behind" or "tied"
Well that’s unfair. That kid had two dads to choose from.
ayyyyyyyy 😂
That's why "survival of the fittest" is misleading. It should be phrased "survival of the least unfit".
Maybe you and the other two last-place dads could pool resources? Get an apartment together, new identities, go into hiding for a while until this whole thing blows over? Train together, become an elite crime-fighting force. Stage a bank robbery, arrange it so that some of the young-buck dads are there and get taken hostage. Rescue them and earn their undying fealty. Cue a sappy 90s song, slowly walk toward your partner and children who thought they'd never see you again but now embrace you as a hero. Go home, put the kids to bed, promise them you'll never disappear again. Partner is waiting for you with a glass of wine and that sexy underwear you love. Cut to black. Credits.
This is gonna need a montage
I would unironically watch this
Is that 12 dads out of a a school with a couple of hundred kids in it? Because you hands down beat all of the ones that didn’t show up.
Fair point. The school had probably 130ish kids participating today, and 12 Dads raced. Some chose not to, but a lot just weren't there.
Hmm, how many style points would you award yourself?
Sweat 6/10 Potential cardiac issues 1/10 Age consideration 8/10 (likely oldest participating Dad there)
Oldest participating dad gets an automatic 10/10. But for validation’s sake, how old, and how much older?
I'm 42. Son is 8. It was all Dads so there were guys there who were 25-30 as their kids are 4-5. I think my distance running/endurance events background gave me false confidence.
42 and competing against 20s and 30s? No shame then. Good job not coming in dead last--that guy should be embarrassed. I'm in my late 30s and quite fit. Still, I can't compete with most 20 year olds or people in their early 30s in any sort of speed or agility competition anymore. Even 5 year younger me would dominate today me. Getting old sucks. On the bright side, I'm still strong as hell. Old man strength is real and is one of the last things to go. We can enjoy that until like 45-50 before becoming totally decrepit and need to be put out to pasture.
The ages of normal families are so weird to me. I live in LA and almost no one starts a family until their 30s. I’m 50 and my kid is 11. As far as dad-ages go, I’m in the middle of the pack. The youngest dad I know from school is late 30s and the oldest is in his 60s. I can’t imagine having a kid at 25 but that’s so normal everywhere else.
Yup this is why real races have age brackets. I just rolled over into the 45-50 bracket and I'm excited to suck slightly less, comparatively!
[Gold star](https://i.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExaWx0ZzMxc3Y2Zzg0eHd3b3B6NnJ6azJocWx2b3ExbTZpaGRlN283ZSZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/3otPora2GgtfqRX7Xy/giphy.gif) for you!
You or your pants didn't fall down, didn't step on a classmate, no mess in your shorts? I think you're being hard on yourself and everyone else already forgot.
That's ok, you would probably win a squid game against the younger dad's.
Distance? Entrants? Place? Heart palpitations?
100m 12 10th (I think) None, but ego needs resus
> distance runner > 100m See, there's your problem. Kidding aside, I was a sprinter in my prime and I know full well I'd get absolutely smoked in the 100 nowadays. The damage I've done to my body in the last 20 years...
Yeah I’m 30 and was a sprinter too. I worked at a college town pizzeria last year. The other drivers(19-21) always decided who got to go home early when it was slow by doing a foot race across the back parking lot. I won every single time because those kids are trash, but good god did I feel it the next day. Also pulled my hamstring in a softball game last summer running half speed. Getting old sucks and I’m not even as old as you!
I used to sprint in HS and then started distance running in my 30s. My son and i were playing football one day and i was leading him and staying just in front of him teasing him to catch me. Then, just to show off, i said "Afterburners baby!" and kicked it into that next gear. I got about 20 feet and then pulled both hamstrings. We definitely aren't what we used to be.
Hi Lucky’s Dad!
I'm scared this is me lol. Also 30, was also a sprinter. I'm in the gym 2-4x a week but I haven't sprinted in years. I think about trying it just for fun but I just imagine imma hurt myself lmao
I consider 100m distance running, anything over 10m is far too much in my eyes
i'm a power sprinter and distance walker. not many can beat me off the line, but once we hit 15m i better be handed a chair and some water.
I'm horribly out of shape but still pretty fast. I would kick ass in the 100 and then promptly vomit and fall over and almost die
As a distance runner you're clearly over trained for a 100m sprint and were letting their fragile egos win while knowing you'd demolish them in anything over a mile
Honestly, as a distance runner myself, 100m is tough. That’s all fast twitch muscle all out. I’ll bet if the race was 1600m, you would have dominated, or at least placed in the top 3.
that's right, we need u/Enough-Ad3818 to join the school council and organize another event with variable distances. This is a totally novel idea that I just came up with, no one has ever done something like this before. It's a gathering of parents and they have multiple distances to choose from, 100m, 150m, 200m, 400m, 800m, and 1500m. Totally unique idea TM by me.
Also, long jump, high jump, discus throw, shoutout, pole vault and of course the javelin or hammer throw.
> discus throw, shoutout I know what you meant to put here, but I want to see competitive shoutouts from dads.
I think we are onto something... we could actually make something out of this event. Maybe even an event that captivates the whole world, call me a dreamer.
Or just have the dads wrestle for dominance.
naked and anointed in oil?
Obviously?
Yeah, I'm 40. I just had a "relay" during a military training and did 2x800s (with about 10 minutes rest) in 2:50ish each. I SMOKED the young kids(and that's not THAT fast), and I do well on the 1.5 mile PT test as well. Then I pulled a groin muscle playing frisbee, I'm not even sure I'd enter a 100m race. So good for you.
Effort put forth?
You didn’t lose. Given that you were overqualified for what was essentially an amateur competition, you demonstrated grace and empathy by allowing the other dads to win.
Challenge the other dads to a 1v1 match in Counter-Strike.
I'd be wrecked there, too. MarioKart, I might be OK. Or perhaps a hot-dog eating contest...
How about golden eye on N64?
Facility with proximity mines and I’m dominating
This comment gave me PTSD. You see, I was a monster at Quake/Q2 on PC but I always got wrecked at Goldeneye because it doesn't support mouse and keyboard.
I didn't have an N64 until I sold my PlayStation on eBay and used the proceeds to buy one, but before that happened I would play GoldenEye at my best friend's house and consistently get lit up by his older brother. There's no worse feeling than dying, respawning in the air vent, and knowing that there's a prox mine right at exit into the toilet stall.
1v1 scoutsknives
were you lapped? if so, how painful was it seeing your younger, fitter, counterparts running circles around you?
I'm 42. Some of these dudes were in their late 20s, but I figured I'd be competitive at least. It's been a wake up call, that's for sure.
Is it though? You're a distance runner. You likely don't have those fast twitch muscle fibers the younger guys have. Bet you'd beat more of them in a 5k
Make it 15mi and we're on. I'm not even warm at 5k.
Yeah 5k is nearly a sprint… for three miles. Fucking brutal distance tbh
Try the 400m… then go try the 800m. They’re both ran at the same speed.. one is just twice as long 😭
Oh God yeah you’re giving me flashbacks to track days on my high school XC team. I’ve always been total shit at short distance running.
I'm not either cuz I'd have died and cooled off.
Dude wtf. Is your kid attending the IMG Academy or something?
I am also 42, have been running every week for 15 years. I do longer distances. I have felt like I could smoke nearly all of the dads in a 100m race for a long time. You are shaking my confidence in this assumption. I think if it was a mandatory race you'd destroy most of the other dads.
My weak excuses of "I'd be stronger over 15 miles" were met with scoffs of derision and open taunting. And that was just my wife!
my wife runs, so she knows better than to scoff.
I feel like deadlifting weekly is better training for the 100M than distance running weekly.
Distance running and sprinting are two separate things though. But you gotta fit some HIIT in on some of your days if you wanna increase your sprinting skill. Just be careful of injuries.
Hard to lap other dads in the 100m dash!
I say you flip this around and tell your son you did it to make a teachable moment about why peer pressure isn't a great idea. Mister Miyagi this shit.
What if the peer pressure was from his mother?
Is there a mom race? Tell her to sign up for that and see how she does.
"It will come from those closest to you..."
I mean, me being me I'd still Mr. Miyagi it. Heck, act like she was in on the master plan if you have to.
Sounds like she needs to support nocturnal advances since you did what she asked.
I was going to say that in life, its a marathon not a sprint, but in this case....
Not helping, but thanks.
You showed up, that matters. The place you came in, doesn't. You're a good dad.
My son disagrees. Reckons I'd have been better if I'd fallen and claimed injury.
That's why I've started sprint training while my little one is 3. When she has her first sports day, I am going to Usain Bolt the fuck out of everyone else.
I can relate to this so much. I did the exact same thing around ten years ago. At that time I was early thirties. I’m not an idiot, I didn’t think for one second I’d win the race. The reality: second last out of approximately twenty five. My confidence was five meters ahead of my pride. This was the day I accepted I was getting older. My wife and daughter continue to taunt to this day.
Oh hell no. I'm not listening to them chirp me for a decade.
Challenge them to a race. Put rocks in their pockets if necessary.
If you know you're going to suck I suggest showing up in an obnoxious outfit. Like the speed walking suit that Hal wore in Malcolm in the Middle. Really...really overplay your hand. I suggest a lot of obnoxious boasting and telling people you've been studying parental races for weeks in preparation. Then right out the gate, take a prat fall, pretend you blew out a quad, and get carried off the field. Remember to give a thumbs up when they put you in the ambulance. The moral of the story, if you are the least embarrassed person in the story, you win. Your wife and child will never talk about the situation again and hopefully it will turn into a repressed memory that keeps you out of track and field events for the rest of your life. I am a good dad.
I'm out of shape, but I'm guessing I'd win a 100 m dash against you, too. Take it up to at least 400 and my money's on you. I wouldn't worry about it
Dude. That's cold. I came here for humorous sympathy, not to be told "yeah, I'm out of shape and would beat you too". Et tu, fellow Dad?
Yeah dude, he has 27 stab wounds already, let the poor man die already.
🤣🤣 that was an attempt at encouragement, not a put down. I'm just saying you are winning the game there. Nobody has to be in shape to run 100m quickly, which was what I was getting at.
It's too late to be athlete-dad, but don't give up on tailgate-dad. For the next race, bring a cooler on wheels. Halfway around the track, stop, Crack a beer, and sit on the cooler watching the rest of the dad's sweat.
Challenge them to a marathon to establish dominance
Now we're talking. "Unless your marathon time is close to 3hrs, you can all STFU"
Hahaha. I imagined this type of challenge lol.
He probably told everybody you could beat up their dads too
At this point, he's likely claiming he doesn't have a Dad, and was born of immaculate conception.
I’ve run several 5ks with my daughter through an after school program. Never in the top, but never last either. I’m older and overweight. My daughter runs circles around me, but hangs with me all the same. What I’ve found is that what matters most to her is that it’s something we’ve done together and she appreciates that. OP - you did something with your son that so many didn’t at all. It’s all making memories. In that there is no defeat.
Former 30+ year old 400m specialist here. You probably know but, shorter distance races are more dependent on fast twitch muscle fibers and CNS fire rate/ coordination and anaerobic capacity. All of which decline faster with with age than other parts of the skeletal-muscular system (even with upkeep). Don't get me wrong you still have ***much*** more than 20-30 year olds who don't sprint much. And even more than 40 year olds who do. But distance runners build more slow twitch fibers and aerobic capacity than the other systems. So you ran a 100m race against dads half your age who do also run. You never really had a chance because 100m sprints is basically all fast twitch and CNS. The strengths you built up from distance running weren't really at play for this kind of race. I promise you, the younger dad's were more inspired by you than anything. PS: if this had been a 400m or more, I think you would have done much better because your strengths as a distance runner would have been at play despite your age.
This is the technical explanation that I was looking for, because it sounds to me like somehow this wasn't my fault.
Motivation for next year.
Distance? How will you redeem yourself? Haha
100m Maybe race my 8yo? I'm 6ft 3 so usually can beat him at a light jog, but he did a distance race and was really swift, so I'm definitely concerned.
My dad was a marathoner, and I remember when I finally had a faster mile than him: 6th grade. You probably have a little bit longer. He had me at 25, though, so not as much of an age gap as you and I have with our kids.
I need the age of the kid and how many you have. That impacts the judgement. I'm kidding. You have to remember very few people can even run, let alone run a distance.
He's 8yo, and only child. I did laugh with a Syrian Dad who was laughing when I said my kid would be embarrassed. He claimed his oldest daughter is 17, middle is 13 and youngest is 8, and so he has been able to embarrass his girls over two decades and two continents so far. I was genuinely impressed.
That's awesome and I strive for that level of dadding
How long was the race?
100m
Did you pull a hamstring or anything? Cause if you didn’t that’s a win right there
Ego is the only damage
Your problem is that you competed against other adults. I’ve been playing pickup basketball against some of my son’s friends, 10-12 yo’s. I’m absolutely annihilating them.
You let them go first to not squash their pride. A hero.
Of course you got annihilated, it's because I wasn't there.
If you came out of it without needing an ambulance then I call it a win or at least a draw
Omg I’d kill to participate in a dad race what school district do I need to move my kids to? I was a late bloomer and I’d love to smoke other people my age now. Very few casual opportunities to race someone full speed.
North Yorkshire, UK. Might be a bit of a commute.
Eh… you know what… when I was a kid my 45 year old dad decided to run this race with literal college kids. This was the very early 90s and he was going finishing going back to school (!). Apparently he had been an all city runner in high school. Anywho for like weeks before the race he goes to the track to practice and runs the whole thing…. He finished… wayyyyyy last. I mean… way way last. I mean he’s out there with a fucking ace bandage on his knee going for it against kids literally half his age. And at the time, me being about 6 or 7, I thought it was terrible and embarrassing for him. Now at nearly 40 myself, I think: god damn. That dude had fucking balls to even go out there, I’m sure knowing the outcome, and did it anyways. So maybe your son will someday draw the same conclusion.
She will continue to live with you until the kids go off to college but she will not respect you and will make sure your kids don’t either.
Competing against children, Dads have the experience and craftiness advantage. Head starts, moving targets, and other general dad tricks to win. Only the wisest and Dad-est amongst the Dads will be able to use these skills to their advantage.
If it was important to your kid, then you win just for doing it, in my opinion. There may be a few dads taking the competition really seriously, but it's more just that you were doing it for your kid. I say, take the participation ribbon gracefully. 😁 Unless it turns out that your kid gets bullied for how terrible a runner their dad is from now on. In that case, time to get that training regimen going for next year.
On the bright side you didn't pull a hammy
This is the first time I’ve felt threatened by the specter of competitive sports reappearing in my late thirties. Do they choose captains and pick dads one by one until only the fat software engineers are left? Do they do results by age group like the Turkey Trot? I’ll have to train for this… becoming a sprinter this late in life seems like a fast way to pull a hamstring. Do they have a Dad’s bench press or deadlift competition?
Dude, sprints are damn hard. I’d rather run my miles and miles
Don't worry. It still hurts every time your son plays catch with the winner or calls him "dad", but you'll get past it.
Bro...
Just kneecap every other Dad in the school district with a crowbar!
>My wife will likely shun my nocturnal advances and my sons is claiming he is not related to me So business as usual then?
I’m a distance runner too . If I was challenged to a 100m race I’d probably pull both my hamstrings.
I was often put to shame by my peers in my late 20’s because, though I was no slob and certainly not “un-athletic”, I simply didn’t feel the need to challenge them physically. One day it hit me… I’ve fathered 6 children. I cook at least 8 different types of cuisine. And I grow a full beard. On top of that, my ability to dedicate myself to something is such that I play 7 musical instruments proficiently. The question of my virility does not come down to a potato sack race against a dude who shaves his legs before he hits the tanning bed.
I was proper annoyed my kids school had no Dad race! As someone who runs 3-4times a week I was ready!
You’re doing great!
We all run our own race in life. Keep your chin up Dad.
The problem is that if I were in decent shape then my muscles would be strong enough to destroy an achilles or something. If I don’t have an asthma attack first.
“Nocturnal advances” 😂
I met my new mountain biking riding buddy through my daughter's school. He's an ultra-marathoner. I feel you.
You shouldn't be getting drunk at school events.
I know this is in jest but as a fellow distance runner, distance and sprints are entirely different beasts. In this case we're talking endurance vs. power. I can run a half marathon and a pretty good clip for an average joe but translate that to anything less than a 10k and I'm slow AF. Unless you actively work both areas ones gonna suffer.
I ve been there too... 100 meters dad race. I did not warm up and was very out of shape. I ended with both hamstrings torn and had to be evacuated ...
You showed up for your kid. That's the win.
>my wife will likely shun my nocturnal advances Why did I read this in Beldars voice from coneheads
As a 62yo unfit dad of two teens...no thank you. I too would be annihilated.
nocturnal advances took me out
lol. That sucks. Thankfully I’m not a runner and I’d easily bow out. I’ll challenge other dads to a variety of contests, drinking, building, drunken building, but not running.
I've done similar on scouter races. Not that I was the oldest but me and scouters don't mix.
I remember when my dad did this. He won at the expense of 2 pulled hamstrings. He never raced again, but still brings up that win from time to time.
Remember the fear being an older dad. The Dad-kid kickball game and the big squishy ball headed right to me in the outfield. Thinking "better not drop it". Thankfully I didn't but the fear was definitely there.
The last one I was in my friend's idiot son was officiating and stood on the finish line in my lane at the end. That was fine, because, like a character in a video game, I can just stop instantly whilst running at full speed, as if I have hit an imaginary wall. Or a child. I came 5th. Out of 5. I should have come 4th!
What were the rules of the race? EDIT: Disappointed OP chose not to reply. I had a lot more to say after his answer.
Could be worse. One of the greatest sprinters of all time could have been a parent who showed up to race. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Sz_s5E_fsbM
Time to hang your head in shame, go home lick your wounds (metaphorically), then jump into a training montage which ends with a beach run and a celebratory manly-man-hug at the edge of the crashing surf. Or get better than all of them at BBQing, smoking meats & lawncare. Tell them all "nice work sport".
I hear there may be a Mom Race this year and the race committee is looking for a new president…
Did no parent even fall over in the mud?
There's always next year. Train for the future vengeance ye shall have :P
I take my son to swim classes and I see other dads there and I’m like “how the FUDGE do you find time to maintain a workout?!”