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None , but in Islam for example , Sex off-marriage is a major sin and almost impossible to be forgiven , porn and masturbation are big sins too , but not major ones
There’s no consequences to watching porn, there are to having kids and especially the social pressure of not being married. Sounds like he might come from an abusive or a toxic religious background where they have shame you for desire and “sin”. He should be lusting after you and giving you the love you deserve. That’s where his attention should be
Oh yeah, I definitely agree. This guy is taking his girl for granted and not giving her all his love and attention. He’s scared of what others are doing and being compulsive and opening up to his girl who’s there for him but they need to do something to bond and he can break out of it. I would suggest therapy but really just having an honest adult conversation would do too
There are way too many issues here. Let's try to break them down.
First: yes, mostly every guy has or does watch porn. But just like anything else: hobbies, gaming, golf, a garage band, etc. moderation is key and as long as whatever this is is NOT more important than the relationship, then is not a big deal. Him trying to not have sex because of his religion but watching porn instead DOES NOT MAKE SENSE IN ANY RELIGION.
But religion or not, porn SHOULD NEVER be more important than the person you are with. Most of us watched porn at one point or another because we weren't getting any, but once we do, the porn sorta fades or comes back if we are not getting enough or if we just want to distract ourselves when someone else is not available but is NEVER INSTEAD OR THE PRIORITY.
> watching porn instead DOES NOT MAKE SENSE IN ANY RELIGION
Even more correct would be "religion does not excuse bad behaviour in a relationship". Some religious people have their forte in mental gymanstics. And this one seems to be a prime example.
Your explanation is on point, except that women also watch porn. Besides this you pointed out it can be normal. That normal sex and intimacy should stand above porn (does not mean it negates each other) and only when one person neglects the other person, will it become a problem. Which menas that it takes effort from both sides and tackle unrealistic expectations from both sides, like in a dead bedroom. You encapsulated the important things perfectly.
I think OP has two problems with her BF:
1. They are sexually incomaptible
2. Him saying he "lusts after other women" is disgusting and the words only a cheater can puke. The rest about surgery and "it's a guy thing"... hell no. No normal man or woman will say this to their partner. That's a him problem. He doesn not belong in a relationship. He is a bad person.
I think it's time for OP to find a guy that respects her and is sexually compatible.
>Him trying to not have sex because of his religion but watching porn instead DOES NOT MAKE SENSE IN ANY RELIGION.
You can probably make it work with a little bit of mental gymnastics. Most religious people will do mental gymnastics to help with their cognitive dissonance anyway, so it doesn't seem completely off based on how many people practice religion. He may legitimately think it makes sense, but it should indeed never take precedence over relationship, and if it causes an incompatibility (perfectly fine for OP to want sex!), then being together might not be the best idea
Watching porn while in a relationship is okay if you communicate with your partner, like anything in a relationship, both people should feel comfortable and respected. It’s very insensitive and disrespectful the way he talks to you. I think if he has an addiction he’s trying to get rid of, he should get counselling, not act like it’s your job to manage his addiction. He shouldn’t act like you forced him to have sex with you if you both consented. This man does not sound like he should be in a relationship. Bordering on, if not just plain out emotional abuse.
I agree. Me and mine watch it, but we make use of it, not hiding it from each other. We've even laughed at some together before and joke around like we can do it better. If it's an addiction, it needs to be addressed...i couldn't stay with sowmone who put that above me. Im sorry....
I do, but I certainly deem it quite shameful.
When I'm in a relationship, I do my absolute best to save my 'energy' for my GF - or if I have to self satisfy, think of my GF.
I do feel like it's kinda disrespectful to your partner to be thinking of other women - even in the context of porn. But definitely being open and defensive about it, shame. He is giving out to the sin of lust and indulging in degenerate behaviour. haram.
Think God would be more sympathetic if he was having sex before marriage with a real woman, rather than sitting in a dark room fapping to some video of random strangers - nasty ass.
Yeah, just about every guy I know watches porn. Do we really want to. Not so much. Most of the time it's just a means to an end because we're pent up and need to "release". Sure, every now and then we might get into it, but 99% of the time, we just need some visual stimulation to get the job done.
Your guy sounds like he might have a problem though. Anyone that's replacing their partner with porn has some issues they need to work out IMO. Any time I've been seeing someone, that need pretty much goes away for me.
Wow seriously? That’s… kind of a bummer. As a straight woman it makes me feel like I can’t compete because I’m very vanilla.
Like every man does? I’ve never watched porn and never had really any desire to at all. It seems like gross voyeurism. Is it just all y’all’s testosterone or??
So I read your profile. Girl, it's time you start doing things for you. How the fuck are you going to make someone happy if youre not happy? So 5 years on and off was my first clue that you should not be with this guy. Let me guess, he hasn't changed, but yet there you are right back with him. Just like your faith people, tell them all to fuck off. Take a deep breath and go find You. Do what makes you happy. Because at the end of the day, it's going to be you with you.
And when you find your happiness, guess what? You will attract happiness since you're doing the things you love, and you find the right man who loves doing the things you love.
And for the porn, yes a lot of men watch porn. But if he were to come up to you and you up to him and ask each other, "What do you need from me sexually?" And no matter how nasty it is, crazy it may sound, dirty as it may look, and freaky with no peaky then do it for each other. Of course you can have limits and boundaries for both people, but if you can do it, just do it. Or put porn on and whatever they do, yall do.
The openness and willingness to try what your partner needs and wants in bed will allow the connection to become strong.
You only have 1 life and its fucking over before you know it. So if this dude is not putting a smile on your face after 5 years, if someone is trying to tell you about the relationship you and God have and if someone wants to change your body for their pleasure. Tell them all to fuck off and you do you.
Most guys do, but for me personally, since I'm in a healthy, functioning relationship, I really don't ever feel the need to watch it. Why would I watch people do what someone else will do with me?
You are receiving responses that are all over the place, and many of them are missing the obvious. You are in an unfulfilling relationship with a man who is manipulative, devious, and dishonest with you.
Things are not going to go better for you if you stick with him. His behavior is not universal among men. His using religion as an excuse to avoid intimate relations with you and blaming you for aggravating his addiction to porn - a ludicrous accusation - is the worst kind of emotional manipulation.
Your BF is a classic addict and if he is not a narcissist, he is pretty damn close to being one. An emotionally mature woman would have left him long ago or not taken up with him at all.
The fact that you are still with him and writing to Redditers for advice on what is going in and what to do is an indication that you should seek professional counseling or a find a support group to assist you in sorting your relationship problems out.
Facebook has a Victims of Narcissistic Abuse Group (MyNARA) you can check out. You can find an online support group here https://www.narcissisticabusesurvivors.org. There are good self-help books that will help you understand your BF's destructive behavior, too.
Finally, you have the specific problem of your BF's specific addiction. Yes, most men can enjoy porn but not all men who do are addicts. Most men who look at porn are NOT addicts.
Your BF is. He has an addiction that is just as destructive emotionally as addictions to alcohol and drugs and gambling. The destruction is not only to him but to you. You can't fix him. Only he can.
You can help him by telling him to quit or you will leave him. Then, when he doesn't quit, you can further motivate him by leaving. Nothing else will work. If you stay with him, you will be in for a life of perpetual misery.
A lot of guys are trying to, there really is an addiction crisis. It can be done though. I really do feel horrible for women who have to wade through a literal army of men addicted to porn and think it represents reality.
No, all men do not watch porn. So now if you compare one man who doesn’t watch porn to another who does watch porn and also creates ultimatums for others that allow him to keep porn in his life, you can see he is on the extreme end of the spectrum of people who watch porn.
Hyper sexuality in boys and men is unfortunately overlooked as a symptom of childhood sexual abuse. It is often confused for being a guy thing.
Girls of abuse also exhibit hyper sexuality, but due to our society’s belief in sexual moralism for women and girls, we are more easily able to identify a traumatized girl.
The sexual part of him was introduced to him at an age when he couldn’t intellectually process it, and it is now overactive and stagnant in the age where he first saw it. He would benefit from balancing his energy elsewhere.
Some boys and men don’t recognize what they’ve been through as abuse, and this may not be the case with him, but it’s important to bring it up because it is, in reality, a possibility.
Something as small as being shown porn at too early of an age can cause hyper sexuality like porn addiction.
>if you found the right person, shouldn’t that porn desire go away??
I also thought that but failed to find the right person.
Anyways what this guy is doing is manipulating you to have self doubt to eventually make your self esteem so low that you will think this asshole is doing you a favour by being with you.
Men and women both can enjoy p***, it depends on the person. Not “everyone”, that’s way too far of a generalization, but I’d say a good high percentage. I’m sure some Couples like watching it together. It’s when they are hiding it bc they think you’ll get mad or they’re ashamed bc they know they literally are doing it too much and NEED it, it’s an issue to be addressed.
He is full of shit if he doesnt have sex and watches porn. No religoon comdones in that. So I would mpve on. You need to discuss this boundry in the begfining of a relationship. State you will give no chances either. You put your standards up with what you want then you will have what you want. Yes many watch porn while they are single. Please dont thibk your not good enough either stop thinkibg that. Porn has pros and cons. Yes it seems dusgustibg but ut gives ideas of what to do sexualy and yet its seen as beung gross in others eyes. Its fantasy and kbkwledge. Nkt tryi g to deffebd porn just putting my input. Not saying you have to accept it but, lay the rules out and understand not all men and women watch porn but some do. You don't have to do it lije the porn stars but it gives you ideas of what to do with your significant other. Hope i made some clarity.
Yes, but all means and take him at his word. Go find your prince because he sure as he'll is as conflicted, lessed up and abusive as they come. Why would you invest 5 years in a guilt ridden, religious, abusive head case. RUN ! RUN ! KEEP RUNNING !!!
As a woman the way I see it is men are inevitably gonna watch porn. The vast majority anyway. But like other people have said, it’s about moderation more than anything. If you’re being replaced or not given what you deserve because he’s busy watching porn then that’s a problem. As long as he loves you and accepts you that’s what matters to me more than anything.
No all guys don't watch porn. The watching porn but not wanting sex due to religion is a red flag.
Honestly it might be hard to hear but he sounds like he's just not into you based on what you're saying. He is getting his sexual desire fix anywhere but you. His "weak" moments could just be feeling bad. Sad to say in my younger past when I lost interest in exes I had sex sometimes just to do it. But in reality I had lost interest and wasn't mature enough yet to talk about it seriously.
If you set up the boundary of no porn if he really likes you enough he can do it. But it is a form of addiction so he may need additional help.
ok there is a lot going on here.
yes most guys have watched or watches porn..Porn is extremely addictive, it's always available and in copious quantities that you cannot imagine and most people don't even realize how much they consume and it ends up that it can hurt your sex life in many ways including escalations within porn to cheating and even porn induced erectile dysfunction.
there are also guys who can watch porn once in a while and have no ill side effects or issues with it.
His excuse that having sex makes his porn addiction worse is the stupidest thing i have heard. He lusts after other women because of porn watching / mentality not because he has sex with you.
he's being extremely cruel in his words, the reality is that it's a HIM problem, he needs to get his porn under control and if he wants help with that you can offer that.. but he has to realize he has a problem first of all if it starts affecting his relationships. I would recommend for starters he takes an online quiz on it and then try to challenge himself to not watch porn for 30 days and see how far he gets with that.
plenty of resources to help curb it and what it does to his brain if he wants to know.
I’ve watched it like 5 times in over 10 years. There are better and healthier things than watching that. To answer your question, not all men watch porn.
This one has too many red flags.
Once you are in a relationship, watching porn is fine but it shud be helping ur sex life by keeping it more spicy not by no sex at all.
Also if he still lusts after other women means thts a huge red flag for sure.
Even after 5 years he is still watching porn means he is not at all sexually attracted to u. Also its a guy's responsibility to respect ur opinions as well
And its not a guy's thing like he said and not all watches porn. Most of then drops it once they are in a serious relationship.
I don't watch porn, never really worked for me, always had more success remembering actual activities I've participated in than watching other folk perform.
So I'll give you my opinion. 42 y/o male here. Yes I truly believe if you find the right person the urge to watch porn will go away. You'll find someone who'll turn you on more than any porn could. While you still maybe a habitual masturbater you will not have the porn urge. Just my opinion
Most people watch porn. Every woman I've lived with has either watched it in front of me or didn't delete their search history. It's not just men. People need to quit pretending like women aren't horny too.
It is normal to watch porn and it is normal to want to have sex. Even if you find the “right” person, many people still want to see other people naked. I wouldn’t take it personally; be confident in yourself since you’re a real live person and he’s been with you for 5 years. Maybe watch it with him?
I kinda get not wanting to have sex because of religion, but at the same time then again, you guys are in a committed relationship, that should make it easier on him. But then again i can’t wrap my mind around people who follow the abrahamic religions.
For me personally, if I was in a committed relationship with a woman that was fully compatible with me sexually, I would have zero need for porn. I would view all other women in a completely non sexual light.
Well, I think the biggest thing is porn is a big thing in society for all genders. It’s just a largely in surveys and studies that men can develop a porn addiction or just not realize the porn isn’t real. It is an magic thing. It’s scripted active a lot of the women on there can be natural, but a lot of them have had cosmetic surgery or just enhancements. Sad thing about porn is you know it’s not real so not everybody looks the same way even the men or women just in general. If he said that he has an app porn addiction he can definitely seek online resources on the Internet or through counseling or therapeutic services or therapy. There’s definitely nothing wrong with how you’re feeling, but he might need to look into services.
No, it's not a guy thing and it's actually very harmful thing to relationships... it's not the healthiest thing, but I could understand if somebody's like not in a relationship and they are not abusing it, but when it comes to gaslighting about their behavior... I mean if you guys already had sex, then he should just continue having sex with you lot of this as you can see his mental and unfortunately alot of men today develop porn addictions
i told my bf i wasnt okay with him watching porn a few weeks into our relationship, which was perfectly fine with him since he had stopped as soon as we started talking. good men exist, your bf sounds like he just kinda sucks.
there’s definitely an addiction issue involved, but he can’t blame that on you for having sex with him.
Men and women watch porn. More men watch than women. It sounds you two should be having sex with each other. Not anyone else and no porn. If he’s got some religious beliefs that forbid sex…his religion probably doesn’t like porn either. The issue sounds more religious…maybe he’s contemplating which is the lesser sin? The lesser sin is premarital sex with a loving partner - in my opinion. And! He should NOT be blaming you for his inability to withhold himself from temptation! Point blank! That’s ground for dismissal. I’d get a man like that OUT of my life immediately! That tells me is a psycho.
In my opinion there’s nothing wrong with porn I watch it and when I’m in a committed relationship I still watch it there’s nothing wrong with it. You got to be more secure and confident with your self and doing that he’ll like you even more I’m mean I would. Now if porn became an obsession and started affecting your relationship then that might be problem. But the fact that he’s blaming you for his watching it and lusting after other woman is just a lame ass excuse take the blame of him cause if he’s serious about you then he wouldn’t be lusting after other woman and porn would be just for fun!!
My partner has watched porn when he was single and in other relationships but seeing as we have an active and fulfilling sex life, he hasn’t watched it while we’re together. Mostly because he hasn’t really masturbated since moving in so there’s no “reason” to watch prob either: He also respects my boundaries around porn. If he ever feels the need to watch it or he starts feeling unfulfilled it’s something we would discuss.
We are in our 40s though so he’s probably not as sexually driven as when he was in his 20s.
I agree with others here, but I’ll play devils advocate for a moment. he has a “porn addiction”… so this isn’t just you typical guy or girl who watches porn and masturbates to release tension here and there..
admitting that isn’t bad, provided he’s actually taking steps to recover. And I’m not sure it’s reasonable to compare his porn addiction to sex with you. the addiction is likely more complicated than that.
But here’s the thing.. if you are not getting what you want out of this relationship, and he’s not willing to comprise. Then go find yourself a new man.. period.
ps. Not all men watch porn, and most that do kinda stop or slow down when they get into a relationship.. I know I do.. mostly cuz I’m satisfied..
but like, being a relationship also increases my sex drive, so i often do still masturbate when I’m in the mood and she’s not available, and usually to memories of her, or pics of her, and if I do watch porn it’s prob of women that remind me of her lol.
I think porn is new and our grandparents didn't have the tools to teach our parents how to deal with porn and our parents the first to have it on video didnt have what we needed as we got it on demand and easily accessed.. the human race is going through some growing pains.
And then theres the fact that not everyone has your sensibilities and that goes for everyone right? For some ppl it's not a big deal so that also makes it harder for people who don't like it because it will never be a 100% concrete bad thing not to do like stealing killing rape etc.. andeven those things happen smh
Humans ain't shit but we can control our own behaviors and try and be better by leading by example. But also remember your example ain't shit to some.
Yes a lot of men watch porn I think. But how much I think varies a lot between each guy. I don't think many watch as much as your bf does.
It might be that you guys aren't compatible in this regard. Especially with that selfish reaction saying it's a normal thing you should get used to with that "go find prince charming-" bullshit.
What you asked is a normal question/hopeful expectation from a partner to know if porn is still used/needed to be used when the partnership is being sexual.
I do see often pairings where one or both watch porn and they're fine. I also see those who are just fine with themseleves/no porn.. I think the ladder is less frequent amongst my peers here in miami.
Sounds like he has some issues. Religious, ok. Sex bad but porn good? He's delusional.
And I'm just as surprised as you with how many guys watch it, with how common it is.
I'm a straight man who has never watched and has no desire to watch. Despite people saying it's normal, I think it's very harmful, especially in a relationship. It's honestly creepy too. Why would you want to watch other people have sex?
First there is nothing wrong with watching porn most men and women watch it quite often.
Secondly if he has an addiction he needs therapy or couples counselling
Third if he is saying these things to you dump his ass that's bang out of order you don't deserve to be compared to anyone else or told to change your appearance
Also those girls do not act like that in real life
You deserve better
Yo, this dude seems toxic AF. You need to get a real man girly. Don't settle for treatment like that, a lot of what you listed are red flags. You deserve better & to be respected. Porn is NOT real sex or love making for that matter. It really disconnects what intimacy should be. Please don't EVER compare yourself to that or them. It is NOT real intimacy or connection.
Maybe people like to spice things up in that way from time to time sure. But again, real love, real sex & intimacy is FAR from anything porn will show you.
EDIT - Also don't accept his comment about it just being a guy thing & you wouldn't understand. Honestly that's BS & he sounds like an uneducated boy or a piece of sht dude. & I'm not trying to offend you or anyone either. I've just been through enough toxic people & learned how important it is to say NO or walk away from people that are not aligned with you, share the same values for the most part, or simply they don't have the best interest for you.
You may love those people but you cannot change ir fix them. Helping only goes so far & requires work on the other end as well as the desire to change. Don't wait on potential when there are no real changes or mature conversations.
He can’t and won’t stop because it is an addiction, it is not okay and it causes problems in any relationship. There are men who don’t watch it and I only say this because I personally know one, you should not be with someone who thinks this is okay, if it bothers you he should care and respect that and if he doesn’t with this he won’t respect you in other ways or with other things.
Everyone (both gender) has a madness. His madness is not sleeping with women for so called religion and idk which religion asked him to watch porn then (I totally hate this part). Apart from ranting religion, he has a mental modal built on how everything works.
We're non monogamous creatures and that's what the sign of being a human. Well women might say I don't have the same etc. Understand that sex is the no. 1 fav thing for men, for women it's like no. 6 or 7. So men thinks like a non monogamous and because of social and religious conditioning he wants only you. So yes obviously every men is attracted to some women other than his partner.
But men are very clever in differentiating who's a entertainment and who's a keeper. You're his keeper and porn is his entertainment. To be precise, 99% of men watched porn and other 1% lie.
Yes porn is bad and he should stay away from it and that's his choice and you can insist him that's it. The more he watches, the more precise he gets in porn category which can never be replicated in real life with you. When you guys sleep, he'll be thinking like she knows how to give a good bj but you as a newbie have no idea about it. That's bad for his mind and your sexual relationship.
One thing i would personally say, he's a screwed jerk justifying all his actions and believing that the world revolves around him. RUN tutututuutututu....
sigh, used to be in this exact same dilemma. Lost the love of my life. Never tried to get rid of an addiction that quick. Still suffering though, but have patience. If he loves you, his pornography consumption should reduce. Since it really disturbs you then communicate about it, things should get better.
The problem with porn is that it create fantasy. And that fantasy is extremely tempted. And not many ppl can beat the fantasy porn created.
Hence your bf has a serious issue here. He need professional advices.
Reducing or eliminating porn will help him and your relationship. The benefits there are nothing compared to the value that ditching religion will have for him and for your relationship. If you can get him to use the internet to learn about his ingrained belief system instead of looking at nudes then 2 birds one stone!
No prude men exist, sadly. 😔
If his religion stops him from having sex then I am pretty sure it stops him from watching porn as well. But he did admit to being an addict. So you need to distract him any way you can from the porn or just ruin porn for him by telling him nothing in porn can be reenacted in real life. 😆😅🤣😂👍
" He tries not to have sex bc his religion makes him feel guilty "
Head case, dump him. Too much confused 💩 and issues going on. Blaming you for things and his problems also sucks. Move on, nothing here but misery and abuse.
He’s right that you shouldn’t change yourself, he’s probably attracted to you just also attracted to the porno girls, so don’t take it personally against your looks, however if I was with a girl I loved I would be cutting that shit, obviously not all men watch porn, lots of men on no fap/ sr and have cut it off because there’s a lot wrong with it.
WHY do men watch porn is what needs to be discussed. Yes in moderation but why even at all. We need to talk about that and be 100% honest and come to terms with each other.
EEEEEK there's so many things wrong here.. especially him saying you need a boob job and fix your face, WTF???!!!?!
>So here’s my question: if you found the right person, shouldn’t that porn desire go away??
For me, no. I still like to self pleasure and watch porn (I'm a female).
My boundaries in my relationship is neither watch porn as well porn has so many cons and in a relationship I don’t need it, I’ve been with my fiancé for two years now no issues even if we’re cold in the bedroom, if your not comfy with it set boundaries if he’s not willing to compromise I would leave before the addiction starts/gets worse
No, not all. I have been male every day of my life and have always found pornography to be at best boring and at worst absolutely disgusting. I am asexual, and find sex in general to be at best boring and at worst absolutely disgusting. My attraction to women is romantic and aesthetic.
No, but the vast majority does. You guys should start a regular sexual relationship and quit the bullshit. You're already not virgins. Now, you enter the zone of telling him that how he masturbates is your business. If that's a hill you choose to die on, break it off now. That's your only card.
Sometimes, you cannot fix what is broken. When that happens, you replace it. Your guy is seriously broken. Replace him, with someone new. He is getting his religious understanding mixed up. Look for a fellow who is not as connected to religion.
Then you might hear him, your sexy female charms, is causing me to want to have sex. I really like hanging out with you.
This is just dumb for so many reasons. Short answer is men want sexual variety and porn is the most socially acceptable way to get it. Also don't let him gaslight you by saying it's your fault. I have a lot to say on this but I'll keep it short 😵💫
Well the way I see it he’s basically telling you that your not enough for him because if you have someone who loves you why do you need to watch porn that’s how I feel about it because when I have been in relationships I stop watching porn I only watch porn when am single
Maybe he deliverance from a sexual spirit. Checkout Noah Hines deliverance. Try having him call him up for 1 on 1 (website) or try one of his videos online. Also it's not your fault.
Short answer... yes!
Long answer... yes, watch it with him while having sex. It's great!
The only red flag I see in this situation is him not wanting sex with you. That is the real question you need to figure it out. No relationship is healthy without sexual satiafaction.
If he keeps not wanting you... dump him!
I used to watch porn until I hit about 29 years old and ended up cheating and ruining a relationship and I had a kid with someone else. I realized I had a massive porn addiction and it made my sex insatiable. I felt like nothing could satisfy me sexually even multiple partners and fetishes.
I no longer watch any porn at all and I still feel damaged from it, but I don’t have the urges to cheat or masturbate at all.
Everyone is different tho. I won’t have the same experience as the next man, but for me it was toxic
I don't think so. At my college, a good number of men have stopped watching and are against watching it frequently. The argument is that it harms sexual performance and is unethical. I am genuinely surprised by the number... my fiancé is one of them. When I mentioned that I sometimes watched it when I was starting to date him, he seemed to find it sexy but was concerned about the health issues related to it.
Well, it depended on actually having sex. If we weren't having sex then yes I would sometimes watch porn. But I far preferred not watching it and being with my gf.
And no, I don't mean that if she didn't want to rightnthen that I'd just watch porn. I mean if we were apart for awhile, or in one relationship she was ignoring me.
It might be sounds lie but I haven’t watched porn in my life, and the only reason is that I’m 24/7 horny for the girl I love. I only get horny for her!
Ahhhh She’s perfect 😍
Every man should only love the girl they’re with and should enjoy whatever they like with only her, This will make their relationship stronger. ☺️
Eventually the girl I’m talking about is now married with some other guy and we broke up because of her mother but that’s true that I still just love her even I haven’t spoken to her for almost an year now and haven’t seen her pictures either. I still love her ❤️
He is an incredible hypocrite I would get rid of this guy fast. Blaming it on you and expecting you to be celibate while he can go jerk off. And than the religious garbage. LMFAO. I'm sorry because I know what this is like but I put my foot down and left so now he can sit home alone with his pornography because he's not dating and I am. But I'm not giving them sex they've got their pornography they can be happy with that.
I think if it bothers you this much then maybe it is alluding to another issue. I have a boyfriend of a pretty long time and he watches porn, he knows he will never sleep with a porn star and I know he will never sleep with a porn star, he also recognizes the difference between normal people and people who are paid to preform. the way your boyfriend approaches your concerns is a major red flag and u should break up with him right away. He’s stupid for blaming you for something he’s doing. Signs of a narcissist.
I know from my own weakness to porn that he's gravely mistaken. It's healthy if both people enjoy it together but if it's one-sided then it creates that rift. I have ruined relationships because of this and he's going to, also. It's a real problem and creates that sexual distance and intimacy.
Not all but I'd be willing to bet it's like 90% of men from early teens to mid twenties
Not literally everyone does it, but it's basically everyone unless you're a puritan
EVERYONE watches Porn but it shouldn't be an addiction!!! Your Boyfriend is crazy that he prefers porn rather than you and you should probably leave him!
It all depends on what that addiction is a coping mechanism for. If it's a coping mechanism for like, loneliness, than maybe a relationship might make that desire go away, but if it's for something like general stress, anxiety, etc., then maybe not.
>He says “its a guy thing, you would never understand- all guys do it. Go find your prince charming who doesnt watch it in a perfect world”
Not even true, way way more women engage in porn than a lot of people, especially Christians, might assume, but I know that's a common misconception in the Christian community, as a Christian myself.
people who watch porn and jackoff to it i dont think are helping their relationships. i def feel like most people watch porn. it’s highly addictive. leave this loser. 5 years in tho so we all know you will do nothing and this is just one of your many ways to vent and your friends are probably so sick of hearing the same shit
Pornography is no substitute for sex. If you have a real connection with this guy he should want you. Don’t get snowed by that bullshit line. All guys don’t do it or care for it.
No not every guy watches porn. Every guy has at some point in their life. But not everyone does. Some of us like myself quit for their sanity and health combined with the fact that they met the right girl.
On top of that some girls aren't comfortable with it so there are men who stop watching to respect the boundary of their partner.
Additionally, you as a woman or girl are entitled to feel uncomfortable with it and ask for your partner to respect you and your body by not watching it. Getting sexual gratification from the bodies and faces of other women is not something that a lot of women are happy with and your partner should be able to respect that.
If he doesn't and insists on his right to do that then he can find a new girl. Save yourself the trouble and find someone who will respect you or who's values align more closely. Do you want the father of your children to be someone who is watching porn where the kids might find it?
Yes? No? Maybe? Uhhh so sounds fucked up.
However there's nothing wrong with sex or porn my wife and I watch it together while we fuck 🤷♂️
Your situation you described does sound fucked though. Best of luck! Hope ya'll figure it out.
Porn is a terrible addiction. I did research most of the principles starts end their own lives get in car accidents or overdoses. I've seen that more than actually passing away from STDs. There are some mysterious deaths too. Porn sucks men and women in but itals extremely evil. Many former prin stars regret ever doing it. I'm a Christian I got sucked in on and off for years even after I became one. I kept trying to stop but God helped me get over it now I refuse to go to it or click on it. It tears people up and destroyed a lot of marriages.
Man, religion looking down on what is a natural safe and healthy activity between two consenting adults is one of the problems here. But the other is his blaming you and him having intercourse for making his addiction worse is another.
The “desire” for porn has nothing to do with you, or what you provide or do not provide sexually. Watching porn and masturbating is normal and healthy. However if he is watching so much porn that he can’t function normally in bed, or if it is affecting his professional, financial and social life that could be an addiction.
It sounds like you’re frustrated because neither of you have sex together enough over this religious stuff. When he watches porn it makes you feel uncomfortable, unwanted and undesirable. I would get right over not having sex before marriage stuff first. Second, him watching porn is normal. It has nothing to do with his desire for you. No, desire to watch porn is not correlated to how much sex you’re having.
If I were you, I would try to open a dialogue about maybe watching some porn TOGETHER. Put some on and invite him in to watch. Now have fun and make out and do oral and masturbate one another etc. now you can both have fun together with no “sex”. And neither is feeling guilty or undesirable.
If you don't like him watching porn then leave him then. If my woman asked me to stop watching porn, I would hope that she can replace each time that I would have decided to watch porn by fucking me every time instead. I'll cum 3x a day with her.
Actually the reason he has a porn addiction is because he isn't haven't alot of sex lmao this is why I don't like the whole restraint thing in religion you pick up worst habits than if you just do what you gotta do also him blaming you? Dude it is on him he doesn't want to stop watching porn because he likes it and he doesn't have enough self control to stop
Porn conditions the mind to incentivize the instant gratifying spectacle of most pornographic settings. It is easy to view the most specific and erotic things imaginable over the internet. When men and women relinquish inhibition and supplement their personal needs for porn, we can desensitize ourselves from normal sexual encounters. It is to the individual but your partner has irresponsibly conditioned himself for porn over you. It's not a rational thing like "I'm not aroused by my girlfriend, therefore I like porn". It's more neuroeconomical such as "I like porn. I like my girlfriend. I'm used to porn. I love my girlfriend. I'll have a porn addiction and a relationship without balance for no good reason".
A beautiful woman don't need to fix anything if she's with the right person.
To answer your main question no, not all men watch porn but I assume plenty do but here's the silver lining some are trying their best to overcome the addiction, some do it occasionally cause they got no partner, some don't want to but since they got a high libido and their partner isn't giving them sex they resort to porn for relief. One thing is for sure it's not something to be proud of but you know the addiction is as powerful as cocaine and it's readily available for free so people struggle with it, the same goes with girls. Some even don't find an issue with it and watch with their partners so the real answer is, it's complicated.
Men don't watch porn cause they attracted to the girl emotionally, they do it to satisfy this addiction the the porn stars are the tools they use to get to their addiction. Think of the pornstars as the bus and the addiction as the destination, they using the bus to get to their destination aka orgasm.
Now in your bf case he's seems to be proud of it and generalizing his issue with all men was a distasteful approach. My advice would be to leave him if he has no desire to stop cause that doesn't align with your values. Why would you want to settle if you can find a better option that will value your boundaries and built your self esteem instead of tearing it down into pieces and inserting in you false beliefs that you got no hope in finding a man that doesn't do it so he manipulates you into believing that you should deal with it or he's trying to forcefully make you break your values so he can get away with something you don't agree with.
To end it I want you to know there's more substance to a woman than how big her boobs or lips are so don't attach your self worth to attaining validation for your looks. If you was with the right guy, your mental state would be in a much better place so what does that tell you about this guy when you feel like shit and you self worth is deteriorating.
Culturally, porn seems a hugely accepted issue overall, however, I agree with the standpoint that it's damaging to women and men alike. If interested you, I would recommend that he seek counseling. There are licensed counselors thar can help with this just like any other addiction.
I’d say watching porn is ok as long as he’s not addicted to it. Men do become addicted to it. When it becomes more important than you, there’s a question of the morality or reason behind it.
I also believe that when you commit to being in a relationship, you should stop watching porn end of discussion, it’s disrespectful to the partner and also just not a healthy thing to be involved with in general.
I do not watch porn when in a relationship because I consider it being unfaithful to my partner. It is taking the attention I would be giving to my partner and placing it elsewhere.
I'll be honest I used to watch alot of it then it just kinda fucked my head up ngl. But that was when I was when I was just young and dumb and hadn't had sex before now. I can't really relate to it, ya know it's just all so fake. Now, I just masterbate without it, but I'll sometimes read some erotic literature instead or listen to an erotic audio once in a blue moon. But if I'm seeing someone, I just focus on them. Personally, I've never really watched porn while in a relationship
It's complicated.
No, not everyone, men or women, watch porn.
Some do, some don't.
Some feel it destroys relationships. Others think it's kinky.
There's no shortage of FWBs, ONSs, ENMs, Hotwivss, Cucking, etc. But this emerging prevalence of these lifestyles are often directly tied to sex addictions and/or are common in people who've experienced sexual abuse, especially as children. Ultimately, the majority are left feeling an emotional void; empty, confused, and unsatisfied in their relationships.
Studies have shown that in the long run, porn has negative, lasting affects on the individual and relationships.
It can become an insatiable addiction that both directly and indirectly affects intimacy. Porn is arguably about lust, not love.
It becomes a progressive, insatiable obsession with no limits since the supply is endless, wide and varied. It also takes it's toll on a person's self-esteem.
There's no religion that condones porn while objecting to premarital sex, so that's a cop-out; and to put the burden if his choices on your conscience is toxic and dysfunctional.
there are two reasons why a nan watch’s pornography.
1. the man is not getting sexually satisfied and needs a more sexually intense experience. ( cares more about his own sexual satisfaction than his woman’s satisfaction)
2. the man feels that he is not sexually knowledgeable enough to satisfy his wife / girlfriend; and believes that he well learn techniques to make him a vip for pleasuring the woman that he is responsible for giving the maximum sexual satisfaction to. (he care and loves his woman)
or a combination of both !
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What religion condones porn and forbids sex?
I think none, but in my opinion, he wants to wait until they get married.
I think they need not to wait anymore lol
None , but in Islam for example , Sex off-marriage is a major sin and almost impossible to be forgiven , porn and masturbation are big sins too , but not major ones
They didn’t say his religion condones porn. It seems like he views it as a bad thing but can’t help it.
Reddit
There’s no consequences to watching porn, there are to having kids and especially the social pressure of not being married. Sounds like he might come from an abusive or a toxic religious background where they have shame you for desire and “sin”. He should be lusting after you and giving you the love you deserve. That’s where his attention should be
>There’s no consequences to watching porn I mean, there are consequences. But they are different than the ones you wrote out here
Oh yeah, I definitely agree. This guy is taking his girl for granted and not giving her all his love and attention. He’s scared of what others are doing and being compulsive and opening up to his girl who’s there for him but they need to do something to bond and he can break out of it. I would suggest therapy but really just having an honest adult conversation would do too
He also just sounds like an addict and is keeping her around because she's accepting the situation. I hope OP gets the help she needs.
There are way too many issues here. Let's try to break them down. First: yes, mostly every guy has or does watch porn. But just like anything else: hobbies, gaming, golf, a garage band, etc. moderation is key and as long as whatever this is is NOT more important than the relationship, then is not a big deal. Him trying to not have sex because of his religion but watching porn instead DOES NOT MAKE SENSE IN ANY RELIGION. But religion or not, porn SHOULD NEVER be more important than the person you are with. Most of us watched porn at one point or another because we weren't getting any, but once we do, the porn sorta fades or comes back if we are not getting enough or if we just want to distract ourselves when someone else is not available but is NEVER INSTEAD OR THE PRIORITY.
> watching porn instead DOES NOT MAKE SENSE IN ANY RELIGION Even more correct would be "religion does not excuse bad behaviour in a relationship". Some religious people have their forte in mental gymanstics. And this one seems to be a prime example. Your explanation is on point, except that women also watch porn. Besides this you pointed out it can be normal. That normal sex and intimacy should stand above porn (does not mean it negates each other) and only when one person neglects the other person, will it become a problem. Which menas that it takes effort from both sides and tackle unrealistic expectations from both sides, like in a dead bedroom. You encapsulated the important things perfectly. I think OP has two problems with her BF: 1. They are sexually incomaptible 2. Him saying he "lusts after other women" is disgusting and the words only a cheater can puke. The rest about surgery and "it's a guy thing"... hell no. No normal man or woman will say this to their partner. That's a him problem. He doesn not belong in a relationship. He is a bad person. I think it's time for OP to find a guy that respects her and is sexually compatible.
Yes... correctly stated.
>Him trying to not have sex because of his religion but watching porn instead DOES NOT MAKE SENSE IN ANY RELIGION. You can probably make it work with a little bit of mental gymnastics. Most religious people will do mental gymnastics to help with their cognitive dissonance anyway, so it doesn't seem completely off based on how many people practice religion. He may legitimately think it makes sense, but it should indeed never take precedence over relationship, and if it causes an incompatibility (perfectly fine for OP to want sex!), then being together might not be the best idea
Thisssss
"Do all men watch porn?" should be "why does my boyfriend of 5 years keep watching porn?"
My thoughts exactly, but OPs afraid to ask, so she generalized "all men." Women watch porn too.
I feel ya!
Watching porn while in a relationship is okay if you communicate with your partner, like anything in a relationship, both people should feel comfortable and respected. It’s very insensitive and disrespectful the way he talks to you. I think if he has an addiction he’s trying to get rid of, he should get counselling, not act like it’s your job to manage his addiction. He shouldn’t act like you forced him to have sex with you if you both consented. This man does not sound like he should be in a relationship. Bordering on, if not just plain out emotional abuse.
I agree. Me and mine watch it, but we make use of it, not hiding it from each other. We've even laughed at some together before and joke around like we can do it better. If it's an addiction, it needs to be addressed...i couldn't stay with sowmone who put that above me. Im sorry....
I do, but I certainly deem it quite shameful. When I'm in a relationship, I do my absolute best to save my 'energy' for my GF - or if I have to self satisfy, think of my GF. I do feel like it's kinda disrespectful to your partner to be thinking of other women - even in the context of porn. But definitely being open and defensive about it, shame. He is giving out to the sin of lust and indulging in degenerate behaviour. haram. Think God would be more sympathetic if he was having sex before marriage with a real woman, rather than sitting in a dark room fapping to some video of random strangers - nasty ass.
Yeah, just about every guy I know watches porn. Do we really want to. Not so much. Most of the time it's just a means to an end because we're pent up and need to "release". Sure, every now and then we might get into it, but 99% of the time, we just need some visual stimulation to get the job done. Your guy sounds like he might have a problem though. Anyone that's replacing their partner with porn has some issues they need to work out IMO. Any time I've been seeing someone, that need pretty much goes away for me.
Wow seriously? That’s… kind of a bummer. As a straight woman it makes me feel like I can’t compete because I’m very vanilla. Like every man does? I’ve never watched porn and never had really any desire to at all. It seems like gross voyeurism. Is it just all y’all’s testosterone or??
Sometimes a guy wants to bust a nut but he doesn’t really want to work for it lol.
A lot of guys will not care what you do, as long as you're naked 😂.
So I read your profile. Girl, it's time you start doing things for you. How the fuck are you going to make someone happy if youre not happy? So 5 years on and off was my first clue that you should not be with this guy. Let me guess, he hasn't changed, but yet there you are right back with him. Just like your faith people, tell them all to fuck off. Take a deep breath and go find You. Do what makes you happy. Because at the end of the day, it's going to be you with you. And when you find your happiness, guess what? You will attract happiness since you're doing the things you love, and you find the right man who loves doing the things you love. And for the porn, yes a lot of men watch porn. But if he were to come up to you and you up to him and ask each other, "What do you need from me sexually?" And no matter how nasty it is, crazy it may sound, dirty as it may look, and freaky with no peaky then do it for each other. Of course you can have limits and boundaries for both people, but if you can do it, just do it. Or put porn on and whatever they do, yall do. The openness and willingness to try what your partner needs and wants in bed will allow the connection to become strong. You only have 1 life and its fucking over before you know it. So if this dude is not putting a smile on your face after 5 years, if someone is trying to tell you about the relationship you and God have and if someone wants to change your body for their pleasure. Tell them all to fuck off and you do you.
There’s a lot to unpack here but the fact he blames you for contributing to him watching porn is wrong. It’s not an addiction it’s a choice.
Your first sentence is correct, but your second sentence is very, very wrong. Lots of people are addicted to porn.
Most guys do, but for me personally, since I'm in a healthy, functioning relationship, I really don't ever feel the need to watch it. Why would I watch people do what someone else will do with me?
No, I don't. But there are a lot who do.
You are receiving responses that are all over the place, and many of them are missing the obvious. You are in an unfulfilling relationship with a man who is manipulative, devious, and dishonest with you. Things are not going to go better for you if you stick with him. His behavior is not universal among men. His using religion as an excuse to avoid intimate relations with you and blaming you for aggravating his addiction to porn - a ludicrous accusation - is the worst kind of emotional manipulation. Your BF is a classic addict and if he is not a narcissist, he is pretty damn close to being one. An emotionally mature woman would have left him long ago or not taken up with him at all. The fact that you are still with him and writing to Redditers for advice on what is going in and what to do is an indication that you should seek professional counseling or a find a support group to assist you in sorting your relationship problems out. Facebook has a Victims of Narcissistic Abuse Group (MyNARA) you can check out. You can find an online support group here https://www.narcissisticabusesurvivors.org. There are good self-help books that will help you understand your BF's destructive behavior, too. Finally, you have the specific problem of your BF's specific addiction. Yes, most men can enjoy porn but not all men who do are addicts. Most men who look at porn are NOT addicts. Your BF is. He has an addiction that is just as destructive emotionally as addictions to alcohol and drugs and gambling. The destruction is not only to him but to you. You can't fix him. Only he can. You can help him by telling him to quit or you will leave him. Then, when he doesn't quit, you can further motivate him by leaving. Nothing else will work. If you stay with him, you will be in for a life of perpetual misery.
I'm a guy and I've been porn free for 7 years
Holy cow that’s attractive
Thank you, it was hard but I'm glad I did it. Porn honestly disgusts me now and it gets easier with time to avoid it.
Hard to find anyone like that nowadays, hope both sides of ur pillows are always cold
A lot of guys are trying to, there really is an addiction crisis. It can be done though. I really do feel horrible for women who have to wade through a literal army of men addicted to porn and think it represents reality.
I have been porn free for 12 years. But it's been 17 years now since I broke that spell. Turning 30 soon.
Congratulations man!
Porn has utterly destroyed now two generations of young men, as seen by the comments of the OP's boyfriend
I have a question. Did you just decide not to do it anymore or did you go to SA or what?
I just did it
That's really cool. I did that was cigarettes. Been a smoker for decades and decided to finish the pack. Most people can't do that though
Congratulations
You have a real life
No, all men do not watch porn. So now if you compare one man who doesn’t watch porn to another who does watch porn and also creates ultimatums for others that allow him to keep porn in his life, you can see he is on the extreme end of the spectrum of people who watch porn. Hyper sexuality in boys and men is unfortunately overlooked as a symptom of childhood sexual abuse. It is often confused for being a guy thing. Girls of abuse also exhibit hyper sexuality, but due to our society’s belief in sexual moralism for women and girls, we are more easily able to identify a traumatized girl. The sexual part of him was introduced to him at an age when he couldn’t intellectually process it, and it is now overactive and stagnant in the age where he first saw it. He would benefit from balancing his energy elsewhere. Some boys and men don’t recognize what they’ve been through as abuse, and this may not be the case with him, but it’s important to bring it up because it is, in reality, a possibility. Something as small as being shown porn at too early of an age can cause hyper sexuality like porn addiction.
>if you found the right person, shouldn’t that porn desire go away?? I also thought that but failed to find the right person. Anyways what this guy is doing is manipulating you to have self doubt to eventually make your self esteem so low that you will think this asshole is doing you a favour by being with you.
Men and women both can enjoy p***, it depends on the person. Not “everyone”, that’s way too far of a generalization, but I’d say a good high percentage. I’m sure some Couples like watching it together. It’s when they are hiding it bc they think you’ll get mad or they’re ashamed bc they know they literally are doing it too much and NEED it, it’s an issue to be addressed.
He is full of shit if he doesnt have sex and watches porn. No religoon comdones in that. So I would mpve on. You need to discuss this boundry in the begfining of a relationship. State you will give no chances either. You put your standards up with what you want then you will have what you want. Yes many watch porn while they are single. Please dont thibk your not good enough either stop thinkibg that. Porn has pros and cons. Yes it seems dusgustibg but ut gives ideas of what to do sexualy and yet its seen as beung gross in others eyes. Its fantasy and kbkwledge. Nkt tryi g to deffebd porn just putting my input. Not saying you have to accept it but, lay the rules out and understand not all men and women watch porn but some do. You don't have to do it lije the porn stars but it gives you ideas of what to do with your significant other. Hope i made some clarity.
He has a lot of shame with this and he’s blaming you. That’s super, not healthy.
Yes, but all means and take him at his word. Go find your prince because he sure as he'll is as conflicted, lessed up and abusive as they come. Why would you invest 5 years in a guilt ridden, religious, abusive head case. RUN ! RUN ! KEEP RUNNING !!!
As a woman the way I see it is men are inevitably gonna watch porn. The vast majority anyway. But like other people have said, it’s about moderation more than anything. If you’re being replaced or not given what you deserve because he’s busy watching porn then that’s a problem. As long as he loves you and accepts you that’s what matters to me more than anything.
No all guys don't watch porn. The watching porn but not wanting sex due to religion is a red flag. Honestly it might be hard to hear but he sounds like he's just not into you based on what you're saying. He is getting his sexual desire fix anywhere but you. His "weak" moments could just be feeling bad. Sad to say in my younger past when I lost interest in exes I had sex sometimes just to do it. But in reality I had lost interest and wasn't mature enough yet to talk about it seriously. If you set up the boundary of no porn if he really likes you enough he can do it. But it is a form of addiction so he may need additional help.
ok there is a lot going on here. yes most guys have watched or watches porn..Porn is extremely addictive, it's always available and in copious quantities that you cannot imagine and most people don't even realize how much they consume and it ends up that it can hurt your sex life in many ways including escalations within porn to cheating and even porn induced erectile dysfunction. there are also guys who can watch porn once in a while and have no ill side effects or issues with it. His excuse that having sex makes his porn addiction worse is the stupidest thing i have heard. He lusts after other women because of porn watching / mentality not because he has sex with you. he's being extremely cruel in his words, the reality is that it's a HIM problem, he needs to get his porn under control and if he wants help with that you can offer that.. but he has to realize he has a problem first of all if it starts affecting his relationships. I would recommend for starters he takes an online quiz on it and then try to challenge himself to not watch porn for 30 days and see how far he gets with that. plenty of resources to help curb it and what it does to his brain if he wants to know.
I’ve watched it like 5 times in over 10 years. There are better and healthier things than watching that. To answer your question, not all men watch porn.
This one has too many red flags. Once you are in a relationship, watching porn is fine but it shud be helping ur sex life by keeping it more spicy not by no sex at all. Also if he still lusts after other women means thts a huge red flag for sure. Even after 5 years he is still watching porn means he is not at all sexually attracted to u. Also its a guy's responsibility to respect ur opinions as well And its not a guy's thing like he said and not all watches porn. Most of then drops it once they are in a serious relationship.
your man is confused and fucked up. He brings that confusion to your mind. Stop playing his fucking games and start doing what you want
I don't watch porn, never really worked for me, always had more success remembering actual activities I've participated in than watching other folk perform.
So I'll give you my opinion. 42 y/o male here. Yes I truly believe if you find the right person the urge to watch porn will go away. You'll find someone who'll turn you on more than any porn could. While you still maybe a habitual masturbater you will not have the porn urge. Just my opinion
You also came from a generation where it wasnt available at your fingertips as much
Porn is entertainment, like any other form of entertainment, but suited for adults. Sex is something between two people. Not the same thing.
Most people watch porn. Every woman I've lived with has either watched it in front of me or didn't delete their search history. It's not just men. People need to quit pretending like women aren't horny too.
Watch it with him....he will quit.
It is normal to watch porn and it is normal to want to have sex. Even if you find the “right” person, many people still want to see other people naked. I wouldn’t take it personally; be confident in yourself since you’re a real live person and he’s been with you for 5 years. Maybe watch it with him?
Idk, I think every boyfriend I’ve had watches porn. It doesn’t bother me honestly.
most adults (regardless of gender) watch porn
Ok, why don't you both just masterbait together? Problem solved
I kinda get not wanting to have sex because of religion, but at the same time then again, you guys are in a committed relationship, that should make it easier on him. But then again i can’t wrap my mind around people who follow the abrahamic religions. For me personally, if I was in a committed relationship with a woman that was fully compatible with me sexually, I would have zero need for porn. I would view all other women in a completely non sexual light.
Yea most men watch porn
Most guys do, it's not a personal thing, it's just part of masturbation for them,which is healthy in moderation
Avoid men at all costs who’s addicted to porn. You deserve better.
Fuck this guy he sucks
Obviously he's screwed
Find yourself your prince charming and abandon this guy who doesn't even want to try to understand you. He does not deserve you.
Well, I think the biggest thing is porn is a big thing in society for all genders. It’s just a largely in surveys and studies that men can develop a porn addiction or just not realize the porn isn’t real. It is an magic thing. It’s scripted active a lot of the women on there can be natural, but a lot of them have had cosmetic surgery or just enhancements. Sad thing about porn is you know it’s not real so not everybody looks the same way even the men or women just in general. If he said that he has an app porn addiction he can definitely seek online resources on the Internet or through counseling or therapeutic services or therapy. There’s definitely nothing wrong with how you’re feeling, but he might need to look into services.
Yee
Not all, but a lot, and a lot of women too. it’s normal and ok.👌
I watch the nba but play basketball in a couple rec leagues. I don’t think one is connected to the other. Dudes like porn.
No, it's not a guy thing and it's actually very harmful thing to relationships... it's not the healthiest thing, but I could understand if somebody's like not in a relationship and they are not abusing it, but when it comes to gaslighting about their behavior... I mean if you guys already had sex, then he should just continue having sex with you lot of this as you can see his mental and unfortunately alot of men today develop porn addictions
Dump his ass!!!
24 yr old male here, when I started dating my gf, my urge to watch porn went to zero
Yes and also every one else
i told my bf i wasnt okay with him watching porn a few weeks into our relationship, which was perfectly fine with him since he had stopped as soon as we started talking. good men exist, your bf sounds like he just kinda sucks. there’s definitely an addiction issue involved, but he can’t blame that on you for having sex with him.
Leave that lilbro sis, find better. He’s a walking red flag and i can smell too.
Men and women watch porn. More men watch than women. It sounds you two should be having sex with each other. Not anyone else and no porn. If he’s got some religious beliefs that forbid sex…his religion probably doesn’t like porn either. The issue sounds more religious…maybe he’s contemplating which is the lesser sin? The lesser sin is premarital sex with a loving partner - in my opinion. And! He should NOT be blaming you for his inability to withhold himself from temptation! Point blank! That’s ground for dismissal. I’d get a man like that OUT of my life immediately! That tells me is a psycho.
In my opinion there’s nothing wrong with porn I watch it and when I’m in a committed relationship I still watch it there’s nothing wrong with it. You got to be more secure and confident with your self and doing that he’ll like you even more I’m mean I would. Now if porn became an obsession and started affecting your relationship then that might be problem. But the fact that he’s blaming you for his watching it and lusting after other woman is just a lame ass excuse take the blame of him cause if he’s serious about you then he wouldn’t be lusting after other woman and porn would be just for fun!!
Vast majority, but not all.
Assiste junto e entra na brincadeira.
I know that ever since I’ve been with my fiancée now. I don’t watch porn at all. Unless it involves me and her.
No all guys don’t watch porn.
My partner has watched porn when he was single and in other relationships but seeing as we have an active and fulfilling sex life, he hasn’t watched it while we’re together. Mostly because he hasn’t really masturbated since moving in so there’s no “reason” to watch prob either: He also respects my boundaries around porn. If he ever feels the need to watch it or he starts feeling unfulfilled it’s something we would discuss. We are in our 40s though so he’s probably not as sexually driven as when he was in his 20s.
Girl… run. Far away.
I agree with others here, but I’ll play devils advocate for a moment. he has a “porn addiction”… so this isn’t just you typical guy or girl who watches porn and masturbates to release tension here and there.. admitting that isn’t bad, provided he’s actually taking steps to recover. And I’m not sure it’s reasonable to compare his porn addiction to sex with you. the addiction is likely more complicated than that. But here’s the thing.. if you are not getting what you want out of this relationship, and he’s not willing to comprise. Then go find yourself a new man.. period. ps. Not all men watch porn, and most that do kinda stop or slow down when they get into a relationship.. I know I do.. mostly cuz I’m satisfied.. but like, being a relationship also increases my sex drive, so i often do still masturbate when I’m in the mood and she’s not available, and usually to memories of her, or pics of her, and if I do watch porn it’s prob of women that remind me of her lol.
I think porn is new and our grandparents didn't have the tools to teach our parents how to deal with porn and our parents the first to have it on video didnt have what we needed as we got it on demand and easily accessed.. the human race is going through some growing pains. And then theres the fact that not everyone has your sensibilities and that goes for everyone right? For some ppl it's not a big deal so that also makes it harder for people who don't like it because it will never be a 100% concrete bad thing not to do like stealing killing rape etc.. andeven those things happen smh Humans ain't shit but we can control our own behaviors and try and be better by leading by example. But also remember your example ain't shit to some. Yes a lot of men watch porn I think. But how much I think varies a lot between each guy. I don't think many watch as much as your bf does. It might be that you guys aren't compatible in this regard. Especially with that selfish reaction saying it's a normal thing you should get used to with that "go find prince charming-" bullshit. What you asked is a normal question/hopeful expectation from a partner to know if porn is still used/needed to be used when the partnership is being sexual. I do see often pairings where one or both watch porn and they're fine. I also see those who are just fine with themseleves/no porn.. I think the ladder is less frequent amongst my peers here in miami.
He sounds like a jerk. Did you ever try to talk it out or couples counseling?
Sounds like he has some issues. Religious, ok. Sex bad but porn good? He's delusional. And I'm just as surprised as you with how many guys watch it, with how common it is. I'm a straight man who has never watched and has no desire to watch. Despite people saying it's normal, I think it's very harmful, especially in a relationship. It's honestly creepy too. Why would you want to watch other people have sex?
First there is nothing wrong with watching porn most men and women watch it quite often. Secondly if he has an addiction he needs therapy or couples counselling Third if he is saying these things to you dump his ass that's bang out of order you don't deserve to be compared to anyone else or told to change your appearance Also those girls do not act like that in real life You deserve better
Yo, this dude seems toxic AF. You need to get a real man girly. Don't settle for treatment like that, a lot of what you listed are red flags. You deserve better & to be respected. Porn is NOT real sex or love making for that matter. It really disconnects what intimacy should be. Please don't EVER compare yourself to that or them. It is NOT real intimacy or connection. Maybe people like to spice things up in that way from time to time sure. But again, real love, real sex & intimacy is FAR from anything porn will show you. EDIT - Also don't accept his comment about it just being a guy thing & you wouldn't understand. Honestly that's BS & he sounds like an uneducated boy or a piece of sht dude. & I'm not trying to offend you or anyone either. I've just been through enough toxic people & learned how important it is to say NO or walk away from people that are not aligned with you, share the same values for the most part, or simply they don't have the best interest for you. You may love those people but you cannot change ir fix them. Helping only goes so far & requires work on the other end as well as the desire to change. Don't wait on potential when there are no real changes or mature conversations.
He needs to get his house in order, either he wants you or not , God's not the author of confusion
I’d say every man that says they don’t watch it is a liar
He can’t and won’t stop because it is an addiction, it is not okay and it causes problems in any relationship. There are men who don’t watch it and I only say this because I personally know one, you should not be with someone who thinks this is okay, if it bothers you he should care and respect that and if he doesn’t with this he won’t respect you in other ways or with other things.
Hell nah. Porn is poison
No not all men watch porn, dump this guy, he doesn’t love you and he is not the right person for you.
Porn is ADDICTION & MUST BE TREATED LIKE ANY OTHER Addiction
Everyone (both gender) has a madness. His madness is not sleeping with women for so called religion and idk which religion asked him to watch porn then (I totally hate this part). Apart from ranting religion, he has a mental modal built on how everything works. We're non monogamous creatures and that's what the sign of being a human. Well women might say I don't have the same etc. Understand that sex is the no. 1 fav thing for men, for women it's like no. 6 or 7. So men thinks like a non monogamous and because of social and religious conditioning he wants only you. So yes obviously every men is attracted to some women other than his partner. But men are very clever in differentiating who's a entertainment and who's a keeper. You're his keeper and porn is his entertainment. To be precise, 99% of men watched porn and other 1% lie. Yes porn is bad and he should stay away from it and that's his choice and you can insist him that's it. The more he watches, the more precise he gets in porn category which can never be replicated in real life with you. When you guys sleep, he'll be thinking like she knows how to give a good bj but you as a newbie have no idea about it. That's bad for his mind and your sexual relationship. One thing i would personally say, he's a screwed jerk justifying all his actions and believing that the world revolves around him. RUN tutututuutututu....
No
sigh, used to be in this exact same dilemma. Lost the love of my life. Never tried to get rid of an addiction that quick. Still suffering though, but have patience. If he loves you, his pornography consumption should reduce. Since it really disturbs you then communicate about it, things should get better.
The problem with porn is that it create fantasy. And that fantasy is extremely tempted. And not many ppl can beat the fantasy porn created. Hence your bf has a serious issue here. He need professional advices.
yikes
Porn has nothing to do with love. It is fantasmaric. Even if you do it all, it will never be the same as the theater of the mind.
Reducing or eliminating porn will help him and your relationship. The benefits there are nothing compared to the value that ditching religion will have for him and for your relationship. If you can get him to use the internet to learn about his ingrained belief system instead of looking at nudes then 2 birds one stone!
No prude men exist, sadly. 😔 If his religion stops him from having sex then I am pretty sure it stops him from watching porn as well. But he did admit to being an addict. So you need to distract him any way you can from the porn or just ruin porn for him by telling him nothing in porn can be reenacted in real life. 😆😅🤣😂👍
other woman in non sexual light is the monogamy-paradigm that you repeat.
Yes almost every guy does it but telling you to change to look like a different woman is very wrong
Nope.
Yes.
i think so💋
I can behind a religion that celebrates porn! Just sayin’🤪
" He tries not to have sex bc his religion makes him feel guilty " Head case, dump him. Too much confused 💩 and issues going on. Blaming you for things and his problems also sucks. Move on, nothing here but misery and abuse.
He’s right that you shouldn’t change yourself, he’s probably attracted to you just also attracted to the porno girls, so don’t take it personally against your looks, however if I was with a girl I loved I would be cutting that shit, obviously not all men watch porn, lots of men on no fap/ sr and have cut it off because there’s a lot wrong with it.
WHY do men watch porn is what needs to be discussed. Yes in moderation but why even at all. We need to talk about that and be 100% honest and come to terms with each other.
EEEEEK there's so many things wrong here.. especially him saying you need a boob job and fix your face, WTF???!!!?! >So here’s my question: if you found the right person, shouldn’t that porn desire go away?? For me, no. I still like to self pleasure and watch porn (I'm a female).
My boundaries in my relationship is neither watch porn as well porn has so many cons and in a relationship I don’t need it, I’ve been with my fiancé for two years now no issues even if we’re cold in the bedroom, if your not comfy with it set boundaries if he’s not willing to compromise I would leave before the addiction starts/gets worse
Yes, saving money instead of buying a call girl
No, not all. I have been male every day of my life and have always found pornography to be at best boring and at worst absolutely disgusting. I am asexual, and find sex in general to be at best boring and at worst absolutely disgusting. My attraction to women is romantic and aesthetic.
sex isnt okay in his religion but porn is?
No, but the vast majority does. You guys should start a regular sexual relationship and quit the bullshit. You're already not virgins. Now, you enter the zone of telling him that how he masturbates is your business. If that's a hill you choose to die on, break it off now. That's your only card.
Always did. Even before the internet they all had dirty mags and porn stashes.
Sometimes, you cannot fix what is broken. When that happens, you replace it. Your guy is seriously broken. Replace him, with someone new. He is getting his religious understanding mixed up. Look for a fellow who is not as connected to religion. Then you might hear him, your sexy female charms, is causing me to want to have sex. I really like hanging out with you.
Me and my gf watch porn together lol everyone's different.
It’s like asking people if they masturbate or eat food, yes we all do it at some point, some more than others.
This is just dumb for so many reasons. Short answer is men want sexual variety and porn is the most socially acceptable way to get it. Also don't let him gaslight you by saying it's your fault. I have a lot to say on this but I'll keep it short 😵💫
Well the way I see it he’s basically telling you that your not enough for him because if you have someone who loves you why do you need to watch porn that’s how I feel about it because when I have been in relationships I stop watching porn I only watch porn when am single
hes settling for u becuz he wants better but cant get it. porn is a way for him to escape momentarily.
Maybe he deliverance from a sexual spirit. Checkout Noah Hines deliverance. Try having him call him up for 1 on 1 (website) or try one of his videos online. Also it's not your fault.
I did when I was younger and living by myself. live with my girl, and I really don't have a need to.
Now what religion allows porn but not sex? That is definitely made up
Short answer... yes! Long answer... yes, watch it with him while having sex. It's great! The only red flag I see in this situation is him not wanting sex with you. That is the real question you need to figure it out. No relationship is healthy without sexual satiafaction. If he keeps not wanting you... dump him!
I used to watch porn until I hit about 29 years old and ended up cheating and ruining a relationship and I had a kid with someone else. I realized I had a massive porn addiction and it made my sex insatiable. I felt like nothing could satisfy me sexually even multiple partners and fetishes. I no longer watch any porn at all and I still feel damaged from it, but I don’t have the urges to cheat or masturbate at all. Everyone is different tho. I won’t have the same experience as the next man, but for me it was toxic
He literally told you to go find someone else, there is your answer.
I don't think so. At my college, a good number of men have stopped watching and are against watching it frequently. The argument is that it harms sexual performance and is unethical. I am genuinely surprised by the number... my fiancé is one of them. When I mentioned that I sometimes watched it when I was starting to date him, he seemed to find it sexy but was concerned about the health issues related to it.
Been 18 years since I've watched any porn of any type.
Well, it depended on actually having sex. If we weren't having sex then yes I would sometimes watch porn. But I far preferred not watching it and being with my gf. And no, I don't mean that if she didn't want to rightnthen that I'd just watch porn. I mean if we were apart for awhile, or in one relationship she was ignoring me.
I think any man would reduce or fully stop watching porn after having someone they are sexually attracted to. I think this guy is full of red flags.
It might be sounds lie but I haven’t watched porn in my life, and the only reason is that I’m 24/7 horny for the girl I love. I only get horny for her! Ahhhh She’s perfect 😍 Every man should only love the girl they’re with and should enjoy whatever they like with only her, This will make their relationship stronger. ☺️ Eventually the girl I’m talking about is now married with some other guy and we broke up because of her mother but that’s true that I still just love her even I haven’t spoken to her for almost an year now and haven’t seen her pictures either. I still love her ❤️
He is an incredible hypocrite I would get rid of this guy fast. Blaming it on you and expecting you to be celibate while he can go jerk off. And than the religious garbage. LMFAO. I'm sorry because I know what this is like but I put my foot down and left so now he can sit home alone with his pornography because he's not dating and I am. But I'm not giving them sex they've got their pornography they can be happy with that.
I think if it bothers you this much then maybe it is alluding to another issue. I have a boyfriend of a pretty long time and he watches porn, he knows he will never sleep with a porn star and I know he will never sleep with a porn star, he also recognizes the difference between normal people and people who are paid to preform. the way your boyfriend approaches your concerns is a major red flag and u should break up with him right away. He’s stupid for blaming you for something he’s doing. Signs of a narcissist.
I know from my own weakness to porn that he's gravely mistaken. It's healthy if both people enjoy it together but if it's one-sided then it creates that rift. I have ruined relationships because of this and he's going to, also. It's a real problem and creates that sexual distance and intimacy.
Not all but I'd be willing to bet it's like 90% of men from early teens to mid twenties Not literally everyone does it, but it's basically everyone unless you're a puritan
😭😭 makes me feel like complete shit! Here! your Your words...your reason to find yourself and Leave this fool.
EVERYONE watches Porn but it shouldn't be an addiction!!! Your Boyfriend is crazy that he prefers porn rather than you and you should probably leave him!
It all depends on what that addiction is a coping mechanism for. If it's a coping mechanism for like, loneliness, than maybe a relationship might make that desire go away, but if it's for something like general stress, anxiety, etc., then maybe not. >He says “its a guy thing, you would never understand- all guys do it. Go find your prince charming who doesnt watch it in a perfect world” Not even true, way way more women engage in porn than a lot of people, especially Christians, might assume, but I know that's a common misconception in the Christian community, as a Christian myself.
*Do all (wo)men-* # no.
NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT ALL MEN !
people who watch porn and jackoff to it i dont think are helping their relationships. i def feel like most people watch porn. it’s highly addictive. leave this loser. 5 years in tho so we all know you will do nothing and this is just one of your many ways to vent and your friends are probably so sick of hearing the same shit
Pornography is no substitute for sex. If you have a real connection with this guy he should want you. Don’t get snowed by that bullshit line. All guys don’t do it or care for it.
No not every guy watches porn. Every guy has at some point in their life. But not everyone does. Some of us like myself quit for their sanity and health combined with the fact that they met the right girl. On top of that some girls aren't comfortable with it so there are men who stop watching to respect the boundary of their partner. Additionally, you as a woman or girl are entitled to feel uncomfortable with it and ask for your partner to respect you and your body by not watching it. Getting sexual gratification from the bodies and faces of other women is not something that a lot of women are happy with and your partner should be able to respect that. If he doesn't and insists on his right to do that then he can find a new girl. Save yourself the trouble and find someone who will respect you or who's values align more closely. Do you want the father of your children to be someone who is watching porn where the kids might find it?
Girl, run. He’s not into you and you deserve better!
Yes? No? Maybe? Uhhh so sounds fucked up. However there's nothing wrong with sex or porn my wife and I watch it together while we fuck 🤷♂️ Your situation you described does sound fucked though. Best of luck! Hope ya'll figure it out.
Porn is a terrible addiction. I did research most of the principles starts end their own lives get in car accidents or overdoses. I've seen that more than actually passing away from STDs. There are some mysterious deaths too. Porn sucks men and women in but itals extremely evil. Many former prin stars regret ever doing it. I'm a Christian I got sucked in on and off for years even after I became one. I kept trying to stop but God helped me get over it now I refuse to go to it or click on it. It tears people up and destroyed a lot of marriages.
Man, religion looking down on what is a natural safe and healthy activity between two consenting adults is one of the problems here. But the other is his blaming you and him having intercourse for making his addiction worse is another. The “desire” for porn has nothing to do with you, or what you provide or do not provide sexually. Watching porn and masturbating is normal and healthy. However if he is watching so much porn that he can’t function normally in bed, or if it is affecting his professional, financial and social life that could be an addiction. It sounds like you’re frustrated because neither of you have sex together enough over this religious stuff. When he watches porn it makes you feel uncomfortable, unwanted and undesirable. I would get right over not having sex before marriage stuff first. Second, him watching porn is normal. It has nothing to do with his desire for you. No, desire to watch porn is not correlated to how much sex you’re having. If I were you, I would try to open a dialogue about maybe watching some porn TOGETHER. Put some on and invite him in to watch. Now have fun and make out and do oral and masturbate one another etc. now you can both have fun together with no “sex”. And neither is feeling guilty or undesirable.
If you don't like him watching porn then leave him then. If my woman asked me to stop watching porn, I would hope that she can replace each time that I would have decided to watch porn by fucking me every time instead. I'll cum 3x a day with her.
lol religious
Actually the reason he has a porn addiction is because he isn't haven't alot of sex lmao this is why I don't like the whole restraint thing in religion you pick up worst habits than if you just do what you gotta do also him blaming you? Dude it is on him he doesn't want to stop watching porn because he likes it and he doesn't have enough self control to stop
get rid of him, he's a fucking asshole. I'm just gonna tell it to you straight
YES! All men watch porn, and if they don’t then they are WEIRD. Every normal male in the modern world watches porn
Porn is mostly an addiction relating to oxytocin with no performance requirement.
Porn conditions the mind to incentivize the instant gratifying spectacle of most pornographic settings. It is easy to view the most specific and erotic things imaginable over the internet. When men and women relinquish inhibition and supplement their personal needs for porn, we can desensitize ourselves from normal sexual encounters. It is to the individual but your partner has irresponsibly conditioned himself for porn over you. It's not a rational thing like "I'm not aroused by my girlfriend, therefore I like porn". It's more neuroeconomical such as "I like porn. I like my girlfriend. I'm used to porn. I love my girlfriend. I'll have a porn addiction and a relationship without balance for no good reason".
A beautiful woman don't need to fix anything if she's with the right person. To answer your main question no, not all men watch porn but I assume plenty do but here's the silver lining some are trying their best to overcome the addiction, some do it occasionally cause they got no partner, some don't want to but since they got a high libido and their partner isn't giving them sex they resort to porn for relief. One thing is for sure it's not something to be proud of but you know the addiction is as powerful as cocaine and it's readily available for free so people struggle with it, the same goes with girls. Some even don't find an issue with it and watch with their partners so the real answer is, it's complicated. Men don't watch porn cause they attracted to the girl emotionally, they do it to satisfy this addiction the the porn stars are the tools they use to get to their addiction. Think of the pornstars as the bus and the addiction as the destination, they using the bus to get to their destination aka orgasm. Now in your bf case he's seems to be proud of it and generalizing his issue with all men was a distasteful approach. My advice would be to leave him if he has no desire to stop cause that doesn't align with your values. Why would you want to settle if you can find a better option that will value your boundaries and built your self esteem instead of tearing it down into pieces and inserting in you false beliefs that you got no hope in finding a man that doesn't do it so he manipulates you into believing that you should deal with it or he's trying to forcefully make you break your values so he can get away with something you don't agree with. To end it I want you to know there's more substance to a woman than how big her boobs or lips are so don't attach your self worth to attaining validation for your looks. If you was with the right guy, your mental state would be in a much better place so what does that tell you about this guy when you feel like shit and you self worth is deteriorating.
I do
Culturally, porn seems a hugely accepted issue overall, however, I agree with the standpoint that it's damaging to women and men alike. If interested you, I would recommend that he seek counseling. There are licensed counselors thar can help with this just like any other addiction.
I’m a guy and do not watch it
I’d say watching porn is ok as long as he’s not addicted to it. Men do become addicted to it. When it becomes more important than you, there’s a question of the morality or reason behind it.
I also believe that when you commit to being in a relationship, you should stop watching porn end of discussion, it’s disrespectful to the partner and also just not a healthy thing to be involved with in general.
I don't watch it much but when I was with my gf we usually watched it together. Spiced things up
I do not watch porn when in a relationship because I consider it being unfaithful to my partner. It is taking the attention I would be giving to my partner and placing it elsewhere.
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Nah, the right person won't disrespect your boundaries and will understand that lusting for other naked people is cheating and just wrong.
I'll be honest I used to watch alot of it then it just kinda fucked my head up ngl. But that was when I was when I was just young and dumb and hadn't had sex before now. I can't really relate to it, ya know it's just all so fake. Now, I just masterbate without it, but I'll sometimes read some erotic literature instead or listen to an erotic audio once in a blue moon. But if I'm seeing someone, I just focus on them. Personally, I've never really watched porn while in a relationship
It's complicated. No, not everyone, men or women, watch porn. Some do, some don't. Some feel it destroys relationships. Others think it's kinky. There's no shortage of FWBs, ONSs, ENMs, Hotwivss, Cucking, etc. But this emerging prevalence of these lifestyles are often directly tied to sex addictions and/or are common in people who've experienced sexual abuse, especially as children. Ultimately, the majority are left feeling an emotional void; empty, confused, and unsatisfied in their relationships. Studies have shown that in the long run, porn has negative, lasting affects on the individual and relationships. It can become an insatiable addiction that both directly and indirectly affects intimacy. Porn is arguably about lust, not love. It becomes a progressive, insatiable obsession with no limits since the supply is endless, wide and varied. It also takes it's toll on a person's self-esteem. There's no religion that condones porn while objecting to premarital sex, so that's a cop-out; and to put the burden if his choices on your conscience is toxic and dysfunctional.
No, some men are liars.
there are two reasons why a nan watch’s pornography. 1. the man is not getting sexually satisfied and needs a more sexually intense experience. ( cares more about his own sexual satisfaction than his woman’s satisfaction) 2. the man feels that he is not sexually knowledgeable enough to satisfy his wife / girlfriend; and believes that he well learn techniques to make him a vip for pleasuring the woman that he is responsible for giving the maximum sexual satisfaction to. (he care and loves his woman) or a combination of both !