Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to:
* Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights.
* All advice given must be good, ethical advice.
* [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules)
* Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users.
If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Another dude. Agreed
With the caveat that she’s not having sex with others. I’ve seen that before but outside of that, as a dude that gets a lot of attention from women, I highly encourage women to be highly selective with who they sleep with. You stand out in such a good way to good people
If you tell them no once and they keep bringing it up, break it off completely. Even if you gave in and had sex, the sex would be so bad.
If they don’t respect your boundaries outside the bedroom, they won’t respect them inside.
And if he can’t get the topic of sex off the table for a week, all he is after is a pump and dump.
Time to move on. Pressuring is gross and sounds like he's one of those to treat a woman like a piece of meat. Steer clear! The double red flag is up. Don't get in the water!
Had a guy do that to me upon meeting first time in a cafe after we had been texting a few days. Then when i got home he messaged to say come over his mum wasn’t home. The guy was in his 30’s. Again i said no. He then ignored me for weeks right through Christmas and New Year then hits me up for sex three times in two days. The first being 11pm on a Friday night. I said no all three times. He replies “Too easy”. I deleted him after and i can tell you that was a great decision. He was awful and i can do so much better and so can you.
I doubt the sex would be very good and especially not for you with such an immature and self centered partner.
I know right? He treated me like some hooker or late night bootie call girl. Plenty of nicer guys around. If you get with that guy because he wants it, you will feel so awful about yourself after.
Yeah i suspect he had some sort of Aspergers or something that doesn’t allow him to ‘read the room’ type of thing. Even though i said no each time and even told him why, he would just say “Too easy” and ask again the next day.
27m here. Dump his ass, he hasn’t respected your boundaries that you’ve set over and over and for that he doesn’t deserve you ever. If he can’t listen to a no now what about when he’s in the mood? Sounds like a predator to me
Okay hold on there buddy, she should for sure dump the guy because their morals clearly don’t align but a guy trying to convince a woman in her 20s (that he’s in the talking stage with) to have sex with him is not rape in any sense of the word. Don’t just throw that word around willy nilly dude, it’s mad disrespectful to victims and softens the reality of what actual rapists have done to people.
Maybe you’re right but if he keeps asking for it, that is coercion isn’t it? If he forces her in any way, it’s definitely rape but if he keeps bothering her with the same question, it probably is coercion. And coercion is considered a form of rape in some legal systems I believe. It definitely isn’t as heinous as the actual act of rape itself but still isn’t something that should be taken too lightly. I do feel you have a point as well though.
if that were the case, i would have been raped too many times to count.
i feel stupid at the end, sure. but at the end of the day- i am the one who agreed and allowed something to happen that i did not want to because i couldnt say no. solution: learn to say no.
i couldnt blame anyone but myself.
however, you come from a kind place.
and i appreciate you.
I disagree… what you are saying invalidates woman who have fought for the right to say “no” when they were pushed into situations where saying “no” meant losing your job. A man or a woman pressuring you continuously to have sex when you have already said, “no”, is wrong. Woman have been taught by society to be giving and to listen. Often times it takes woman years as they get older and learn to navigate a situation to say, “no” and mean it. If its not an enthusiastic “yes” it is rape.
i agree with you 100%.
i feel i need to downplay it for my own mental well-being because as much as that is how it should be, thats not the world we live in.
and the times i did speak up- i was swiftly shot down.
IS RAPE ! The same thing happened to me. He just did it to me and I didn’t know how to stop him because I was so naive and scared, because sex is scary ! What he is doing is A LOT of things…all of them bad ! Anyway the man KNOWS what he is doing. Get away from him…he is slime ! I would also be worried that he has been treating women like this his entire life and that he also probably has diseases !
What he is doing sounds like a red flag. The coercion would be in a more intimate setting and other variables would need to be present for it to count in court. My worry is that he seems like the type that would try a date rape drug on her. He seems to have no respect for boundaries.
I agree, it’s a red flag and as a woman you should always be aware of intentions and safety. That said, with the information that’s been provided and not filling in any of the blanks with the worst words. It’s unfair to suggest that he’s a date rapist or capable of something so heinous. I think most people test boundaries to see what’s on the table physically, everybody’s guilty of it.
What I personally think is that he’s a 25 year old man and he’s never dated a girl who placed boundaries on sex and he’ll either adjust to celibacy in a relationship and jerk off more or he’ll move on. (None of this means he’s evil or capable of evil just because he’s a man)
It’s equally possible that she said she doesn’t want to have penetrative sex and he respected that boundary, then walked back a couple steps to the oral boundary and tried there, next will probably be the handjob boundary lol. If he keeps trying to convince her she should leave because he cares more about sex than the relationship (which is the red flag) but if he’s testing her physical boundaries in the talking stages of a relationship, I can’t really blame him for that and we really shouldn’t string him up.
All that said, I’d be willing to bet she never vocalized her discomfort or set crystal clear boundaries to him in person to the extent she did it here on Reddit. She should just look him in the face and say “Look, when I feel it’s the right time to have sex I will initiate that sex, until then I am not ready and if you try to initiate something physical beyond kissing or cuddling it will make me incredibly uncomfortable and and hurt my feelings”
Which I understand completely, everyone has a habit of comparing everyone to the worst person they’ve ever encountered as a defense mechanism. It’s totally normal and I have a tendency to do it too.
I just like to try and put it in check when I can by being analytical so that I’m not assuming the worst and seeing things that aren’t there which in turn makes it worse because it’s like seeing the worst person I’ve ever met in everyone I meet or filling in the blanks with the worst case scenario when in reality most people are like me or you ya know? Just tryna get by lol
Consent is enthusiastic, non coerced, it can't occur if either party is too inebriated, it is ongoing in that you have to obtain it but it can be revoked at any time for any reason. Consent to one act is not consent to all acts. Consent to something one time is not consent to something all times. If you coerce that's non-con, that's assault.
Sounds like he has one thing on his mind and it is certainly NOT that he should respect you. Which he should. I’m sorry for that.
Speaking from experience, if he gets what he wants he will leave you afterwards. Don’t do it babe. Save yourself the trauma and the future therapy fees.
You've k own him "almost a week" and he's badgeringbyou for sex? You have said you're not ready and he still does it? He's a manipulative e asshole. Block him and move on.
Run honey. He wants only one thing and he will either keep asking, begin demanding it, find someone else to give it or take it from you anyways. He doesn't value you. You can find SOOO much better. Someone who will value you for you.
Absolutely, stop talking. You two clearly are not at the same place. You seem to want to develop some more substantial and he just wants sex. Stop wasting your time.
If his constant sex-asking pushiness is that insistent even though you've tried telling him your not ready over and over, then I'm guessing it's time to stop talking to him. Hopefully he'll then get finally get the hint and leave you alone.
One of the worst dating deal breakers is complete clueless pushiness and how it uncomfortable it makes the other person feel.
It's pretty clear that he has absolutely no respect for your boundaries. I just cut off a guy that was like this too. Would not leave me alone no matter how many times I said to leave me alone. I yelled at him several times and then it got to the point where I felt like his mom. Very unattractive.
Yeah girl I think you should definitely move on to the next one. If you told him you weren't ready. he should not bring it up let alone push that matter onto you again. especially so soon after you just told him No! he's got red flags. This move is like a textbook fuckboy move. When he talks to you like this where he's persistent and pushy regardless of what or how you feel means he does it to other girls as well and he just applies pressure and or guilt until somebody caves in. Then he uses them however many times he feels and typically either goes ghost or gets really cold and pushes the girl away.
You're too pretty! Don't waste your time on the lame ones. Spend your time with the ones that take you to do things and experience different kind of stuff. The ones that want to get you out of the house and show you off not get into your house and take your pants off
Girl move on, if his not willing to respect your boundaries. Even if you aren't a virgin his not entitled to your body (to clarify im not saying he is) a real man would really be interested you than just sex.
Ditch him! any decent man will not be so pushy, he’s like the bad sales man who will keep pushing and pushing to wear down your defenses in hopes you’ll eventually say ‘yes’
Trust your feelings. If you don’t want to have sex with this guy, DON’T! Also, dump him because all he wants from you is sex. You know your worth. He does not respect you nor care about you. That’s the least you deserve from any man you choose to date.
Dudes worthless and obviously after one thing. Don't give it, it will only leave you feeling empty and sad, unless your into casual, non-caring hook-ups just for fun. Try to find another guy to talk to before you get in any deeper.
He just need SEX desperately. He will leave you once you have sex with him. If you are looking for love, just leave him and concentrate on your future. Going forward, you won’t have opportunity to fulfill your goals, just taking care of your partner & children
Girl... Leave him, he's an IDIOT. I know in your heart you feel there is something wrong with him. Every woman knows, but we choose to ignore it because we believe in good and the feeling doesn't help. Don't let men take advantage of you. He is noticing that even though he INSISTS, you are not leaving. He doesn't care about you. I'm sorry and no matter how difficult this is, impose yourself. We women are taught to accept a lot of things and unfortunately the world is not that good. His behavior is a BIG red flag. Please start respecting YOURSELF right now and have the ATTITUDE to get out of these situations and impose your limits. What he does is ABUSE. He behaves like a rapist!!!!! Sorry for my English, it's not my native language. My dream now is you dump him and post a print here for us. Don't feel sorry for a man like that, listen to me. Don't let this become a pattern of behavior. Take the reins, you're the damn boss! Your future self will thank you.
Listen to your body and your gut! Use and trust your initiuative. The guilt tripping, attempts at self doubt, the disregard, is all an annoyance that he's causing should make you just wanna get the hell away from him and leave! I have such an aversion to people who don't respect my boundaries.
He doesn't care what you. Can't control his impulses so you should probably end it tbh. In my case, I have never pressured a woman for sex whilst being sorta addicted to it myself so yeah he just doesn't care what you want. He should go pay to play somewhere or find a good porn site he likes. You are an actual person and you didn't come to this world to please him.
>. should i stop talking to him?
yes..
move on, find someone who actually shows interest in you rather then constantly talking about sex..
good lord... its not that hard
When I was 25, I had to deal with the same situation. I keep asking for sex and I didn’t get it, once I stopped pursuing for it, I got it. I learned this lesson by getting blocked, dumped, you name it. You seem like somebody who is gonna teach this dude a lesson. Good luck
If he just wants a warm body he should find a legitimate escort (ie not someone being sex trafficked). Sounds like he has no interest in any kind of genuine connection. No interest in getting to know you. A prostitute is all he’s good for. I mean seriously. If it were me and some dude insulted me with that kind of behavior and tested my patience I’d be like Nah, last time I checked this ain’t a brothel. SMH.
Yessss please leave!!!!He’s already pushing your boundaries and no matter how long you’ve talked to him if you’re not ready, you’re not ready simple as that. At this point it seems like he’s pressuring you. If you’re wanting something out of this don’t be expecting a serious relationship, it’s giving more fwb.
He doesn’t want you at all unfortunately. He’s treating you like anything already within a week.. he does not value you. Move on.. with all due respect.
Yes. Stop talking to him. If someone breaks your boundaries more than the first time (accidents happen), break it off. He's not going to suddenly respect you. He's going to keep breaking boundaries till he gets what he wants, and then he'll leave you. Not worth your time.
If you are not ready, please do not do it …
Because that might be the only thing he wants.
It's important to prioritize your comfort in any relationship. If you've clearly communicated that you're not ready for sex and he continues to pressure you, it's a sign of disrespect. You deserve to be with someone who respects your boundaries. He definitely does not want you as much as you think and neither the relationship. He is more interested into in the sex.
If you are looking for a relationship, it is best to stop talking to him.
Maybe tell him you’ll only ever peg him if he keeps pushing you lol
Seriously just move on, tell him you felt he was being too sexually persistent and it made you feel kinda gross.
Tell him he needs to not push people in the future because that’s cringy, but inquiring once, or just leading up to it naturally by flirting and feeling out the vibe is chiller and more respectful
Hopefully he won’t push other women around in the future then.
Say okay and then smash two frying pans together on his penis like one of those little monkeys with the cymbals
I bet he doesn't ask again for at least a month
Are you for real... I'm a guy and I woiuldn't push any of that at all. It should happen organically several dates in as you are kissing and hugging and progressing at the woman's comfort level.
But it always gets awkward when I pull out authorization forms for consent. Gotta do it though, step by step, move by move because I might run for congress some day. I suppose equally awkward is my attorney off to the side taking notes and getting initials on forms... kinda low key creeps me out too.
But I digress. He should be kicked to the curb unless you were on a hookup site and then you should exit stage left.
YES!!!! Most definitely!!! He's not interested in you. He only wants sex. Someone who likes you wouldn't keep pressing the issue. Move on...since you've only been seeing him for a short time, it should be easy to let him go. Don't waste your time any further; he's not the one.
If a girls not ready then shes not ready, one thing i will say tho is if youve been on 5 dates or been dating for a month wichever comes first, its time for sex and if the other partner is still not ready after that then they need a good reason, like they were abused or something that constitutes that lvl of mistrust of sex.
If you dont want sex period never ever in a relationship, you are considered asexual and need to disclose that you are asexual on the first date so not to get into a relationship with someone who considers sex a priority in a relationship.
The fisrt date is literally a get to know you, disclose your thoughts on marrage/kids/sex and anything else thats going to be apart or not apart of the relationship instead of trying to change someone later.
THAT MEANS HE IS ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND ALSO HAS NO IMAGINATION, THUS YOUR SEX LIFE LONG TERM WOULD BE VERY UNSATISFYING FOR YOU ANYWAY.
I ONCE WAITED A WHOLE YEAR FOR A GIRL, AND IT WAS WELL WORTH IT TO US BOTH.
He honestly sounds immature, desperate, and possibly even mentally ill. You need someone that matches your emotional energy and works on your schedule.
This guy is not in wrong seems to me yall just not on the same level. Ask your self what is the hold up? Is it lack of trust or something? Don't listin to the bitter men hatters on here. Find the deeper problem and come to a conclusion.
Even me as a much experienced man says "yes he's dating you for the wrong reasons. If I'm somebody asking that platform like dating website, then you do because you don't want sex after 3 or 4 days, that's absolutely normal to not feeling comfortable with it. And the fact he's still trying to find any way to have sexual activity with You, he seems not to care very much of your feelings or how you feel with the situation. So I'd also say he's lacking in showing empathy. So if that's important to you. He's for sure not the right one. If you want quick sex, he's the right one.....
Ladies yes it is up to gm the OP if not ready then wait . If he will not send him packing .
Now that being said men will tell other men if she is not putting out by the 3rd date she is using you .
So the pressure starts on him as well as you .
Women will tell women to wait . But men tell men she needs to put out .
Put men want a woman that has say not a lot of men in their woman s life .
It is crazy but it is what it is .
If continue pressure tell him you need a break from him as he is putting pressure on you . And you are not good with that .
Now with that being said .
Is he someone you would want in your life for the next 21 years .
I raised a niece and that is what I told her . One day she told me it was weird when I said that . But when she went out with a guy she thought about what I said .
Stop talking to him immediately. He is showing you exactly what his priorities are and isn’t respecting any of your boundaries. What do you think he will do when you’re alone? Run.
You’re still very young and from 20-25 is a big difference in terms of maturity.
My best advice is to respect yourself and call it off. Find you a young man that has respect for you.
A self-centered immature person like that will never be a good lover in my opinion.
Good luck!
Im a guy and I had the same situation, a girl made me wait for 6months. Was it hard, hell yah but at the end it was worth it. Even though she kept denying me of sex, I was still interested in her because she made me realized how strong I was. I didnt just want her body, but ai wanted her mind to.
Stop talking to him immediately he's only out for his own self gratification he does not care about you sweetheart not one bit he only cares about himself get away from him and stay away from him
Don’t do anything you don’t want.
But when a he eventually stop asking you for sex, don’t complain about that too wondering what’s wrong with you and if he’s into you anymore.
Speaking as a man, once you have told him that you are not ready, for him to continue to press the subject is incredibly arrogant and selfish on his part. If he doesn't or can't understand the fact that you are not ready for a sexual relationship, perhaps you should break up with him and find a guy who can understand
I think you already know the answer. You’ve already told him where you said, and it’s made no difference, sadly. It shows that he cares far more about having sex with you, then you sticking around. If he seen a future between you two, then he’d be too fearful to risk it by continually asking.
You don't need this reply yet I want to support you. I'm a man. This person doesn't respect you. He doesn't see you as a whole person and all that is good and exciting about you, with his clothes on and yours too.
There will be guys like thus, as you know, in the world. Not all men but too many. Hopefully he'll not prove to be dangerous after you blocked him.
He needs to see women differently and put time in to get to know them first so they can decide if they have physical attraction and sexual attraction.
He needs to back off, he keeps pushing and pushing despite you saying no; I wouldn't suggest cutting ties already, but put your foot down and stay firm, if he can't handle that, then maybe he's not the one
You need to stop talking to him asap. It's clear that this guy only cares about sex. And it's stupid that you know this but continuing to talk to him but then come to us when you know your answer already.
It’s okay that he wants that,but you have to put you in the first place,if you don’t want that and he keeps asking for that,maybe the best option will be to move on
Can't be clear enough here, if someone doesn't respect consent they are either going to assault someone, have assaulted someone or both. If it's safe make it very clear to this person that coercion is not consent and that you never want them to pressure anyone ever again, and then remove yourself from the situation or if it's not safe to speak up, just remove yourself from the situation.
So glad you blocked him.
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This guy is pushing your boundaries. I highly suggest moving on because people who do this aren’t worth the time of day.
He’s here for one thing & once he gets it you’re just another notch on his belt, sorry to break it to you bby girl !
Agreed, if they're already pushing your buttons this negatively after just one week, that's some major 🚩 🚩 🚩
You probably should move on. Seems like he is only after 1 thing.
If he is pressuring and pestering you for intimacy when you've made it clear you're not ready yet, he gots to go, girlfriend. Giving major red flags!
A week and this is happening already? Just drop him
I don’t understand why she’s still talking to him. Gross.
*Drops his pants instead *
Sends the wrong message to the pushy jerk I do think this does.
One of the best ways to weed out garbage guys is to make them wait. He'll leave eventually if he doesn't care for you.
Yeep! As a dude I second this! To me it shows a man without discipline.
Exactly
FACTS
Another dude. Agreed With the caveat that she’s not having sex with others. I’ve seen that before but outside of that, as a dude that gets a lot of attention from women, I highly encourage women to be highly selective with who they sleep with. You stand out in such a good way to good people
If you tell them no once and they keep bringing it up, break it off completely. Even if you gave in and had sex, the sex would be so bad. If they don’t respect your boundaries outside the bedroom, they won’t respect them inside. And if he can’t get the topic of sex off the table for a week, all he is after is a pump and dump.
I can solve this problem in two simple steps: Block and delete.
dude just wants his dick wet drop him
Time to move on. Pressuring is gross and sounds like he's one of those to treat a woman like a piece of meat. Steer clear! The double red flag is up. Don't get in the water!
Definitely just trying to use you definitely should leave him
Had a guy do that to me upon meeting first time in a cafe after we had been texting a few days. Then when i got home he messaged to say come over his mum wasn’t home. The guy was in his 30’s. Again i said no. He then ignored me for weeks right through Christmas and New Year then hits me up for sex three times in two days. The first being 11pm on a Friday night. I said no all three times. He replies “Too easy”. I deleted him after and i can tell you that was a great decision. He was awful and i can do so much better and so can you. I doubt the sex would be very good and especially not for you with such an immature and self centered partner.
I’m so happy you got yourself out of that situation. He’s disgusting and does NOT deserve your time or efforts.
I know right? He treated me like some hooker or late night bootie call girl. Plenty of nicer guys around. If you get with that guy because he wants it, you will feel so awful about yourself after.
Dang girl I'm so sorry you put up with that for so long. What a bum he is
In his 30s living with his mom? Losers always got the most audacity
Man he's pathetic!
Yeah i suspect he had some sort of Aspergers or something that doesn’t allow him to ‘read the room’ type of thing. Even though i said no each time and even told him why, he would just say “Too easy” and ask again the next day.
Yes, you should stop talking to him. He’s not a good guy.
BYE. No need to waste your time
oh what a gentleman
27m here. Dump his ass, he hasn’t respected your boundaries that you’ve set over and over and for that he doesn’t deserve you ever. If he can’t listen to a no now what about when he’s in the mood? Sounds like a predator to me
Dump him. Sex through coercion is rape!
Okay hold on there buddy, she should for sure dump the guy because their morals clearly don’t align but a guy trying to convince a woman in her 20s (that he’s in the talking stage with) to have sex with him is not rape in any sense of the word. Don’t just throw that word around willy nilly dude, it’s mad disrespectful to victims and softens the reality of what actual rapists have done to people.
Maybe you’re right but if he keeps asking for it, that is coercion isn’t it? If he forces her in any way, it’s definitely rape but if he keeps bothering her with the same question, it probably is coercion. And coercion is considered a form of rape in some legal systems I believe. It definitely isn’t as heinous as the actual act of rape itself but still isn’t something that should be taken too lightly. I do feel you have a point as well though.
if that were the case, i would have been raped too many times to count. i feel stupid at the end, sure. but at the end of the day- i am the one who agreed and allowed something to happen that i did not want to because i couldnt say no. solution: learn to say no. i couldnt blame anyone but myself. however, you come from a kind place. and i appreciate you.
I disagree… what you are saying invalidates woman who have fought for the right to say “no” when they were pushed into situations where saying “no” meant losing your job. A man or a woman pressuring you continuously to have sex when you have already said, “no”, is wrong. Woman have been taught by society to be giving and to listen. Often times it takes woman years as they get older and learn to navigate a situation to say, “no” and mean it. If its not an enthusiastic “yes” it is rape.
i agree with you 100%. i feel i need to downplay it for my own mental well-being because as much as that is how it should be, thats not the world we live in. and the times i did speak up- i was swiftly shot down.
IS RAPE ! The same thing happened to me. He just did it to me and I didn’t know how to stop him because I was so naive and scared, because sex is scary ! What he is doing is A LOT of things…all of them bad ! Anyway the man KNOWS what he is doing. Get away from him…he is slime ! I would also be worried that he has been treating women like this his entire life and that he also probably has diseases !
What he is doing sounds like a red flag. The coercion would be in a more intimate setting and other variables would need to be present for it to count in court. My worry is that he seems like the type that would try a date rape drug on her. He seems to have no respect for boundaries.
I agree, it’s a red flag and as a woman you should always be aware of intentions and safety. That said, with the information that’s been provided and not filling in any of the blanks with the worst words. It’s unfair to suggest that he’s a date rapist or capable of something so heinous. I think most people test boundaries to see what’s on the table physically, everybody’s guilty of it. What I personally think is that he’s a 25 year old man and he’s never dated a girl who placed boundaries on sex and he’ll either adjust to celibacy in a relationship and jerk off more or he’ll move on. (None of this means he’s evil or capable of evil just because he’s a man) It’s equally possible that she said she doesn’t want to have penetrative sex and he respected that boundary, then walked back a couple steps to the oral boundary and tried there, next will probably be the handjob boundary lol. If he keeps trying to convince her she should leave because he cares more about sex than the relationship (which is the red flag) but if he’s testing her physical boundaries in the talking stages of a relationship, I can’t really blame him for that and we really shouldn’t string him up. All that said, I’d be willing to bet she never vocalized her discomfort or set crystal clear boundaries to him in person to the extent she did it here on Reddit. She should just look him in the face and say “Look, when I feel it’s the right time to have sex I will initiate that sex, until then I am not ready and if you try to initiate something physical beyond kissing or cuddling it will make me incredibly uncomfortable and and hurt my feelings”
Agree, I think I painted a picture in my head that went to safety and paranoia. Thank you for your level headed analytical skills.
Which I understand completely, everyone has a habit of comparing everyone to the worst person they’ve ever encountered as a defense mechanism. It’s totally normal and I have a tendency to do it too. I just like to try and put it in check when I can by being analytical so that I’m not assuming the worst and seeing things that aren’t there which in turn makes it worse because it’s like seeing the worst person I’ve ever met in everyone I meet or filling in the blanks with the worst case scenario when in reality most people are like me or you ya know? Just tryna get by lol
Consent is enthusiastic, non coerced, it can't occur if either party is too inebriated, it is ongoing in that you have to obtain it but it can be revoked at any time for any reason. Consent to one act is not consent to all acts. Consent to something one time is not consent to something all times. If you coerce that's non-con, that's assault.
It better you move on, that guy who you met, have no respect on women decision. Remember you have the power to say NO.
This guy is not respecting your boundaries. I’d break up with him. It sounds like all he is after is sex.
Sounds like he has one thing on his mind and it is certainly NOT that he should respect you. Which he should. I’m sorry for that. Speaking from experience, if he gets what he wants he will leave you afterwards. Don’t do it babe. Save yourself the trauma and the future therapy fees.
RUN . he’ll keep insisting until u do it, and then u’ll regret it, and hate him for it and it’ll make disgusted
You've k own him "almost a week" and he's badgeringbyou for sex? You have said you're not ready and he still does it? He's a manipulative e asshole. Block him and move on.
Yes please stop talking to him. It’s only been a week… he’s only going to get worse.
Tell him to go masturbate.
Leave and block. No good loser.
Get rid of him! He’s making it very obvious that’s all he wants. Borderline sexual harassment.
Run honey. He wants only one thing and he will either keep asking, begin demanding it, find someone else to give it or take it from you anyways. He doesn't value you. You can find SOOO much better. Someone who will value you for you.
He is coercing you. I’m sorry he’s being horrible and move on before you get convinced to do something you don’t want to do
Yes, stop talking to him
Absolutely, stop talking. You two clearly are not at the same place. You seem to want to develop some more substantial and he just wants sex. Stop wasting your time.
RUN
If his constant sex-asking pushiness is that insistent even though you've tried telling him your not ready over and over, then I'm guessing it's time to stop talking to him. Hopefully he'll then get finally get the hint and leave you alone. One of the worst dating deal breakers is complete clueless pushiness and how it uncomfortable it makes the other person feel.
It's pretty clear that he has absolutely no respect for your boundaries. I just cut off a guy that was like this too. Would not leave me alone no matter how many times I said to leave me alone. I yelled at him several times and then it got to the point where I felt like his mom. Very unattractive.
He’s after 1 thing. And you can say no and dump him!
Dump him. The pool is fill with fishes
Yes, date other men
Yeah girl I think you should definitely move on to the next one. If you told him you weren't ready. he should not bring it up let alone push that matter onto you again. especially so soon after you just told him No! he's got red flags. This move is like a textbook fuckboy move. When he talks to you like this where he's persistent and pushy regardless of what or how you feel means he does it to other girls as well and he just applies pressure and or guilt until somebody caves in. Then he uses them however many times he feels and typically either goes ghost or gets really cold and pushes the girl away. You're too pretty! Don't waste your time on the lame ones. Spend your time with the ones that take you to do things and experience different kind of stuff. The ones that want to get you out of the house and show you off not get into your house and take your pants off
red flag, dump him
Girl move on, if his not willing to respect your boundaries. Even if you aren't a virgin his not entitled to your body (to clarify im not saying he is) a real man would really be interested you than just sex.
He’s showing you exactly what he wants from you…..believe him.
Ditch him! any decent man will not be so pushy, he’s like the bad sales man who will keep pushing and pushing to wear down your defenses in hopes you’ll eventually say ‘yes’
There is no respect for you or your boundaries. Dump this guy like a bad habit. Never compromise yourself!
Trust your feelings. If you don’t want to have sex with this guy, DON’T! Also, dump him because all he wants from you is sex. You know your worth. He does not respect you nor care about you. That’s the least you deserve from any man you choose to date.
Move on, all he wants is sex.
Move on please. Especially if this is the only topic he‘s interested in. Do you have other things to do / talk about that he‘s invested in?
You've been only talking a week and he keeps bugging you about this? Yeah major red flag, especially since you always said your not ready.
Dudes worthless and obviously after one thing. Don't give it, it will only leave you feeling empty and sad, unless your into casual, non-caring hook-ups just for fun. Try to find another guy to talk to before you get in any deeper.
He just need SEX desperately. He will leave you once you have sex with him. If you are looking for love, just leave him and concentrate on your future. Going forward, you won’t have opportunity to fulfill your goals, just taking care of your partner & children
I think it's pretty wild you are still even entertaining a guy who clearly has no respect for you. Thank god you blocked him
Ditch him he clearly only wants one thing and isn't respecting your boundaries
Who the fuck "asks" for sex. Can't think of many things more cringe than that. Why are you still talking to him?
Stay away from him. Smells like trash 🗑️
Girl... Leave him, he's an IDIOT. I know in your heart you feel there is something wrong with him. Every woman knows, but we choose to ignore it because we believe in good and the feeling doesn't help. Don't let men take advantage of you. He is noticing that even though he INSISTS, you are not leaving. He doesn't care about you. I'm sorry and no matter how difficult this is, impose yourself. We women are taught to accept a lot of things and unfortunately the world is not that good. His behavior is a BIG red flag. Please start respecting YOURSELF right now and have the ATTITUDE to get out of these situations and impose your limits. What he does is ABUSE. He behaves like a rapist!!!!! Sorry for my English, it's not my native language. My dream now is you dump him and post a print here for us. Don't feel sorry for a man like that, listen to me. Don't let this become a pattern of behavior. Take the reins, you're the damn boss! Your future self will thank you.
Listen to your body and your gut! Use and trust your initiuative. The guilt tripping, attempts at self doubt, the disregard, is all an annoyance that he's causing should make you just wanna get the hell away from him and leave! I have such an aversion to people who don't respect my boundaries.
He doesn't care what you. Can't control his impulses so you should probably end it tbh. In my case, I have never pressured a woman for sex whilst being sorta addicted to it myself so yeah he just doesn't care what you want. He should go pay to play somewhere or find a good porn site he likes. You are an actual person and you didn't come to this world to please him.
Good job on the block and sorry that happened sounds toxic you did good
Great call blocking him! There are plenty of men out there who are respectful and will be happy to wait until you’re comfortable.
>. should i stop talking to him? yes.. move on, find someone who actually shows interest in you rather then constantly talking about sex.. good lord... its not that hard
When I was 25, I had to deal with the same situation. I keep asking for sex and I didn’t get it, once I stopped pursuing for it, I got it. I learned this lesson by getting blocked, dumped, you name it. You seem like somebody who is gonna teach this dude a lesson. Good luck
Dont have intercourse before marriage, so stay away from him.
Yeah I would stop talking to that guy. Lack of respect for you, not a good start to relationship
Time to move on...
Time for him to go! He sounds creepy.
If he just wants a warm body he should find a legitimate escort (ie not someone being sex trafficked). Sounds like he has no interest in any kind of genuine connection. No interest in getting to know you. A prostitute is all he’s good for. I mean seriously. If it were me and some dude insulted me with that kind of behavior and tested my patience I’d be like Nah, last time I checked this ain’t a brothel. SMH.
Yessss please leave!!!!He’s already pushing your boundaries and no matter how long you’ve talked to him if you’re not ready, you’re not ready simple as that. At this point it seems like he’s pressuring you. If you’re wanting something out of this don’t be expecting a serious relationship, it’s giving more fwb.
How does all of this make you feel? That is your answer.
Move on
He doesn’t want you at all unfortunately. He’s treating you like anything already within a week.. he does not value you. Move on.. with all due respect.
Yes.
Yes. Stop talking to him. If someone breaks your boundaries more than the first time (accidents happen), break it off. He's not going to suddenly respect you. He's going to keep breaking boundaries till he gets what he wants, and then he'll leave you. Not worth your time.
If you are not ready, please do not do it … Because that might be the only thing he wants. It's important to prioritize your comfort in any relationship. If you've clearly communicated that you're not ready for sex and he continues to pressure you, it's a sign of disrespect. You deserve to be with someone who respects your boundaries. He definitely does not want you as much as you think and neither the relationship. He is more interested into in the sex. If you are looking for a relationship, it is best to stop talking to him.
Bro thirsty after a week, drop him
He's a boundary pusher he's basically a rapist that doesn't care about you at all Block him
Maybe tell him you’ll only ever peg him if he keeps pushing you lol Seriously just move on, tell him you felt he was being too sexually persistent and it made you feel kinda gross. Tell him he needs to not push people in the future because that’s cringy, but inquiring once, or just leading up to it naturally by flirting and feeling out the vibe is chiller and more respectful Hopefully he won’t push other women around in the future then.
If he doesn't respect your boundaries move along.
No is a complete sentence. If he can't respect that then dump the guy. He clearly doesn't respect your wishes. Move on.
Leave him
You should leave him. A guy who is really into you will never open topics like this especially when you are just talking for a week.
Say okay and then smash two frying pans together on his penis like one of those little monkeys with the cymbals I bet he doesn't ask again for at least a month
Are you for real... I'm a guy and I woiuldn't push any of that at all. It should happen organically several dates in as you are kissing and hugging and progressing at the woman's comfort level. But it always gets awkward when I pull out authorization forms for consent. Gotta do it though, step by step, move by move because I might run for congress some day. I suppose equally awkward is my attorney off to the side taking notes and getting initials on forms... kinda low key creeps me out too. But I digress. He should be kicked to the curb unless you were on a hookup site and then you should exit stage left.
BIG RED FLAGS ARE WAVING WILDLY!! RUN! No! Run HIM off! What a disrespectful jerk he is to ignore your boundaries!!
Yes stop, a typical douchebag
Absolutely. What are you waiting for?
Yes.
YES!!!! Most definitely!!! He's not interested in you. He only wants sex. Someone who likes you wouldn't keep pressing the issue. Move on...since you've only been seeing him for a short time, it should be easy to let him go. Don't waste your time any further; he's not the one.
You’re not a match. He has a high sex drive. You do not. Move on.
If a girls not ready then shes not ready, one thing i will say tho is if youve been on 5 dates or been dating for a month wichever comes first, its time for sex and if the other partner is still not ready after that then they need a good reason, like they were abused or something that constitutes that lvl of mistrust of sex. If you dont want sex period never ever in a relationship, you are considered asexual and need to disclose that you are asexual on the first date so not to get into a relationship with someone who considers sex a priority in a relationship. The fisrt date is literally a get to know you, disclose your thoughts on marrage/kids/sex and anything else thats going to be apart or not apart of the relationship instead of trying to change someone later.
No boundaries. Dumb him immediately 😇
He doesn't respect your boundaries. This is just the beginning if he's that bad already. Run.
He does not respect you, get rid of him
That’s a red flag 🚩 Find someone else that respects you.
RUN
sex within a week? that quick.. 🤣
A nice throat punch will solve that problem. 👊🏿👊🏿👊🏿 Block him!!! ASAP!!!!
He just wants you for your body I know I was one of those guys until I wised up
TALKING for a week and you're asking this? Are you serious?
Yesss!!! Don't be stupid
Move on girl, he is only joking l looking for sex
Block him, now
Yeah... it's time to move on. If he can't respect your boundaries and is trying to pressure you, stop speaking to him.
Wanting sex is fine. Manipulating or playing with boundaries for sex… is not. Get rid of this chump.
THAT MEANS HE IS ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND ALSO HAS NO IMAGINATION, THUS YOUR SEX LIFE LONG TERM WOULD BE VERY UNSATISFYING FOR YOU ANYWAY. I ONCE WAITED A WHOLE YEAR FOR A GIRL, AND IT WAS WELL WORTH IT TO US BOTH.
Intentions always speak the agenda! Take care.
He honestly sounds immature, desperate, and possibly even mentally ill. You need someone that matches your emotional energy and works on your schedule.
He’s a punk find a real man
Yeah, you should stop all this and don't come back to him ever again, and always protect yourself because a guy who does these things will affect you
Dump his ass
His pushing your boundaries is a red flag.
Obviously! Why are you wasting time asking when you already know what to do?
Say no one more time. If he persists, dump him, and block him everywhere.
I would stop talkin he's clearly just out for sex and then wants to bounce
Yes stop talking to him. He will likely leave or cheat after he gets sex. He’s not talking with you for the right reasons.
Too pushy; if I really wanted sex and my date wasn't feeling down, I would have just moved on after the first no.
This guy is not in wrong seems to me yall just not on the same level. Ask your self what is the hold up? Is it lack of trust or something? Don't listin to the bitter men hatters on here. Find the deeper problem and come to a conclusion.
Even me as a much experienced man says "yes he's dating you for the wrong reasons. If I'm somebody asking that platform like dating website, then you do because you don't want sex after 3 or 4 days, that's absolutely normal to not feeling comfortable with it. And the fact he's still trying to find any way to have sexual activity with You, he seems not to care very much of your feelings or how you feel with the situation. So I'd also say he's lacking in showing empathy. So if that's important to you. He's for sure not the right one. If you want quick sex, he's the right one.....
Ladies yes it is up to gm the OP if not ready then wait . If he will not send him packing . Now that being said men will tell other men if she is not putting out by the 3rd date she is using you . So the pressure starts on him as well as you . Women will tell women to wait . But men tell men she needs to put out . Put men want a woman that has say not a lot of men in their woman s life . It is crazy but it is what it is . If continue pressure tell him you need a break from him as he is putting pressure on you . And you are not good with that . Now with that being said . Is he someone you would want in your life for the next 21 years . I raised a niece and that is what I told her . One day she told me it was weird when I said that . But when she went out with a guy she thought about what I said .
Always a bad omen when someone can't take no for an answer. You deserve someone that would respect your boundaries.
Hit me up eight zero eight four five nine two six two four
Stop talking to him immediately. He is showing you exactly what his priorities are and isn’t respecting any of your boundaries. What do you think he will do when you’re alone? Run.
Yes, you should stop talking to him
You’re still very young and from 20-25 is a big difference in terms of maturity. My best advice is to respect yourself and call it off. Find you a young man that has respect for you. A self-centered immature person like that will never be a good lover in my opinion. Good luck!
Im a guy and I had the same situation, a girl made me wait for 6months. Was it hard, hell yah but at the end it was worth it. Even though she kept denying me of sex, I was still interested in her because she made me realized how strong I was. I didnt just want her body, but ai wanted her mind to.
Haha I am afraid to even talk directly to a girl. Meanwhile, a man asks a girl for sex. His courage must be acknowledged
Stop talking to him immediately he's only out for his own self gratification he does not care about you sweetheart not one bit he only cares about himself get away from him and stay away from him
You've been talking to him for a week and he's asking for this and you haven't dropped him on his ass yet? Half some self respect
Don’t do anything you don’t want. But when a he eventually stop asking you for sex, don’t complain about that too wondering what’s wrong with you and if he’s into you anymore.
He is probably looking for sex, otherwise there are a lot of things to do without sex or anything related.
Seems like he's looking for Ons. Move on girl.
Yeah ditch the guy. It’ll get worse, he’s not respecting your boundaries. And will keeping pushing until you give in. Dump the loser.
*You* don't want to have *sex* with *him*. That's fine. *You* can *tell him he* can either wait or find a woman that is willing.
Speaking as a man, once you have told him that you are not ready, for him to continue to press the subject is incredibly arrogant and selfish on his part. If he doesn't or can't understand the fact that you are not ready for a sexual relationship, perhaps you should break up with him and find a guy who can understand
Clearly no respect cut bait!
His mummy was not home and 30 yo?????Loser! Run run run!!!
I think you already know the answer. You’ve already told him where you said, and it’s made no difference, sadly. It shows that he cares far more about having sex with you, then you sticking around. If he seen a future between you two, then he’d be too fearful to risk it by continually asking.
Already a red flag. Leave him. If you don’t, you might give in to his pestering and regret it.
Only a week! You know he only wants one thing & when he gets it, he'll move on.
To be honest. If you dont wanna jump him for sex, ya should probably keep it movin. Yall are probably not compatible.
Dump the loser. He’s the type that dates younger so he can take advantage since a grown woman will tell him no.
Tell him you have menstrual issue won’t go away
He too old for u. He tryna coerce u into sex. That shit is traumatizing. RUN
You don't need this reply yet I want to support you. I'm a man. This person doesn't respect you. He doesn't see you as a whole person and all that is good and exciting about you, with his clothes on and yours too. There will be guys like thus, as you know, in the world. Not all men but too many. Hopefully he'll not prove to be dangerous after you blocked him. He needs to see women differently and put time in to get to know them first so they can decide if they have physical attraction and sexual attraction.
A good partner listens. And sex isn't meant for harassment. It's for enjoyment and should be done upon each other's agreement
He needs to back off, he keeps pushing and pushing despite you saying no; I wouldn't suggest cutting ties already, but put your foot down and stay firm, if he can't handle that, then maybe he's not the one
He sounds soo fucking corny lmao. Fucking lame ahh mf begging after a few days like stfu big weirdo
Just walk. He wants to control you by making you go back on your word.
You need to stop talking to him asap. It's clear that this guy only cares about sex. And it's stupid that you know this but continuing to talk to him but then come to us when you know your answer already.
It’s okay that he wants that,but you have to put you in the first place,if you don’t want that and he keeps asking for that,maybe the best option will be to move on
The first time he pushes it after you established the boundary - should be the last. Dump him - he's not respecting what you want in the relationship.
Can't be clear enough here, if someone doesn't respect consent they are either going to assault someone, have assaulted someone or both. If it's safe make it very clear to this person that coercion is not consent and that you never want them to pressure anyone ever again, and then remove yourself from the situation or if it's not safe to speak up, just remove yourself from the situation. So glad you blocked him.
It's suppose to come natural not nagging . Sounds like someone just wants sex not a relationship
He will fuck you and forget you. Will only remember you when he wants some action. Don’t invest your emotions!
You don't have genuine desire for him, so it's not going to work out. Might as well end it now.
oh, leave him! you would have let him know from the get go if you wanted that or not.
Do him a favour and dump him
he'll just go find it somewhere else