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🤣 she can't claim all 6 pronouns with a serious face

🤷‍♂️

She has no idea what she wants or who she is. She claims to be non-binary while pushing the derogatory label as “fruity” on you for liking her. She is, like many young people, obsessed with her sexual orientation in pursuit of hyper individualism.

The irony here is that by calling you "fruity" she's the one who's expressing homophobic beliefs. You're open to dating an NB person but she's trying to tell other people how to identify and that's a big massive red flag on her part. You're straight. You're dating a female-presenting NB person who's okay with she/her pronouns. Your sexuality is still straight.

I mean you could ask her what actually who she thing would be the difference of her defining als non-binary or a girl. she might tell you some differences and then you can decide if that is something you want in your relationship, but if she actually has no idea what this definition means for her there's probably no harm in just acting as if she would be a girl, because it wouldn't matter anyway.

Haha. Welcome to the twilight zone. I give it.. 6 months before you're either dead inside or have been left due to racism, bigotry, insensbility to her unique self. Or she's just gonna flip it on you and go full AH and call you less of a man. She's already started pushing you down after a week. Honestly. Dump animal kingdom and rejoin the real world outside Campus where anyone can be w/e they want as long as they don't force it upon others. I believe we're referred to as "the silent majority" in the media.

1. You're partner is nonbinary, regardless of how you "see" them. We don't get to choose someone else's gender expression. 2. Dating someone nonbinary doesn't make you "fruity". Does it make you queer. Technically yes, but why does it matter?

1. Yes I totally understand I can’t control how she feels and express herself I’m not trying to accomplish that I just see her as girl 2. The reason why it matters is because I simply don’t want to be queer or seen as queer to others that’s why I asked

My dude, it's 2024. No one fucking cares if you're queer or dating someone non-binary or w/e. And in the off chance someone does, that's a them problem and they got their own shit to deal with. What do you have against being queer? I feel like you have an assumption of what that word means when it doesn't mean that at all. All queer means is "not straight". It doesn't' mean "gay".

I don’t have a problem with being queer I just don’t want to be queer I wanna be straight

Why? What's the difference? Why does it matter?

Think of it this way if I went to a person part of the lgbtq community and said “Hey want to be straight?” and they said no then I said “What's wrong with straight people“Would I be the correct person in the conversation? It's all just a preference I prefer to be straight just like how my girlfriend prefers to be called any pronoun

I think this disconnect is we're thinking of sexual preference as something that you **choose** vs something that you **are**. Ppl don't choose to be straight or gay or queer or w/e. It's depending on what we're attracted to. So if this person and you find them attractive, by definition that's not a straight attraction and you're not in a straight relationship. (Also not ever LGBTQ is queer, which is a conversation for another time...) I too am a man. If I started dating another man I can't call him my gf and say that I'm straight because I'm in a gay relationship. I think you should just date someone else. I don't think you guys are in the same place of this whole thing and it's only gonna put strain on your relationship as a whole. If you wish to be straight, you can only date women.

Sure I guess I don’t expect this relationship to last anyway she’s head off to collage multiple states away soon and I don’t think long distance relationships are her thing. I’m just trying to live life to its fullest ya know? I just can’t help but to keep thinking about it hence this post.

i think you’re conflating the idea of being attracted to a different gender and being queer. non-binary is not a different or separate gender it’s not on the binary.  you can date a non-binary person and still be straight, especially if they’re more feminine presenting. being queer entails being attracted romantically and sexually to the same gender, which non-binary is not in this case bcs it isn’t a gender.

Queer is an umbrella term that describes all non-straight hetero normative attraction and sexual expression. You're thinking of gay. Gay and queer are not the same thing. "2 denoting or relating to a sexual or gender identity that does not correspond to established ideas of [sexuality](https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=9945b695c42a0987&rlz=1CACNAW_enUS1074&sxsrf=ADLYWIJ8WM2SncchohTaQuzalFBG9a2wTg:1714846276811&q=sexuality&si=ACC90nxMSPeZfdJJjQgDsdZJuFuJeKIcvSxEI6Qa1yPH4yybVif76ugJE9sdEgkXdpYX0ZrcId9HnxlrQD8s6zM4GT7s_KKcNvSK342OUXORsHNHqFTEYI0%3D&expnd=1&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjEy7GZzPSFAxXmle4BHaq_COsQyecJegUIFhD-AQ) and gender, especially [heterosexual](https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=9945b695c42a0987&rlz=1CACNAW_enUS1074&sxsrf=ADLYWIJ8WM2SncchohTaQuzalFBG9a2wTg:1714846276811&q=heterosexual&si=ACC90nxkzgN-KbLuTWKT81WCi4_nb3fSV6t80miwXubaOKzYVIHNereA3Isi7xnZXhw53qNe2k6O2Waf7oo03FosH3_WtNOTB4WfIE29tkgz3LqwBUG--p4%3D&expnd=1&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjEy7GZzPSFAxXmle4BHaq_COsQyecJegUIFhD_AQ) [norms](https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=9945b695c42a0987&rlz=1CACNAW_enUS1074&sxsrf=ADLYWIJ8WM2SncchohTaQuzalFBG9a2wTg:1714846276811&q=norms&si=ACC90nyrPgcbTBsFIq03NzrKCa0gPSnv61AANskEfMku40HUiTQNm4861eNIElYdK8wyuFRxpmSD_7qDtzVIh442JVO5UeoYJA%3D%3D&expnd=1&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjEy7GZzPSFAxXmle4BHaq_COsQyecJegUIFhCAAg)." OP is a man. So them being attracted to anything other than a woman would be queer. Even if that other person is not a man.

yes, queer’s umbrella. gay can be as well. but being attracted to someone who is feminine presenting doesn’t make a man queer if they don’t want to label themselves as such. they should definitely re-evaluate whether they should be in a relationship with that person for the nb persons sake, but it doesn’t change their sexuality. if someone wants to say they’re straight and not queer even if they’re attracted to a non-binary person i don’t see why it’s a big deal. plus by your definition op is corresponding to heterosexual norms by being attracted to someone feminine. 

>eing attracted to someone who is feminine presenting doesn’t make a man queer if they don’t want to label themselves as such. plus by your definition op is corresponding to heterosexual norms by being attracted to someone feminine.  Sexuality is taking both folks gender into account. Not just how they "present". If 2 men are in a realtionship, that doesn't make it a straight relationship if one is "femme presenting". I'm done with this conversation. You clearly have no idea wtf you're even talking about.

If someone like that told me something like dating them was "a little fruity" my response would be: >You say that like it's a bad thing 😏

Hi I'm nonbinary. Let's address this. If your partner clearly had interest in transitioning and displays in all ways as a woman, no you are not fruity. If she doesn't have dysphoria, she isn't nonbinary. If she did have dysphoria she would change something other than her pronouns. Now, dating an actual nonbinary person would make you just a little fruity. Only bisexuals can be fully attracted to a nonbinary body post-transition. There are two kinds of nonbinary person. Nullsex people, who get their sex characteristics removed and nullified, and duosex people, who get a mixture of male and female sex characteristics. If you don't view these people as nonbinary you would cause real Dysphoria and that is harmful. You shouldn't persue them in that case.

Thanks this helps out quite a bit I’m unsure if she is actually interested in transitioning at all. I did just text her asking why she has multiple pronouns and it’s so people can call her what they prefer to call her which is why most refer to her as she/her

I would say she's likely not non-binary and probably just gender nonconforming. Which is it's own thing, and still very cisgender.

What's wrong with being fruity? I'm not nonbinary, nor do I even know someone that is (that I know of), but I can pretty confidently say that dating one nonbinary person wouldn't necessarily be the same as dating another. They're not all clones. I'm sure they didn't mean much of anything by it though. Maybe just by the fact they can go by he/him pronouns is what makes you "fruity".

so she doesn't prefer any pronouns then?  then she uses a gay slur to insult you?  and she presents totally female and girly?  dude it sounds like she has a lot of ideas floating around in her head (very common these days with all this gender stuff) and it is causing her to come off as confusing and insulting. tell her to let you know when she figures out what she is. 

Yes she prefers to be called any of them. She definitely didn’t mean to insult me when saying I was fruity her intentions were not bad in any way. And yea she does present as feminine.

yeah thats no excuse to use slurs

[удалено]

I guess but isn’t life about being one’s own self, live the life you want to live?