I can do both but nothing beats the IRL chemistry. Most of my romantic relationships developed over just being able to talk for long hours without feeling awkward or guilty about anything I or they wanted to discuss.
You nailed the safety part. There’s a level of vulnerability I need to have with the person where I cannot feel judged or questioned about it. Sometimes is just being able to share the quiet, sometimes it’s just being allowed to have those intrusive thoughts be verbally explored.
I have realized that the connection with someone can grow from a distance even, I believe that nowadays it's much easier than ever to develop a strong connection with someone you don't see often or even at all (LDR),
Personally, connections grow more when the other person hints interest first, then it all goes from there and it continues to grow whether it is in person or through the phone or any other way... Finding something to bond over is also really important to me!
Also about the night time... I feel like during the night I become more emotionally sensitive and maybe at that point I might a bit more open about my feelings however as I said, it mostly depends on the other person and how they speak to me!
Usually the feelings take me when im off guard, when ive gotten comfortable with someone, i get sort of a first glimmer and then it blossoms. Very similar to what you describe.
Its only happened a handful of times, and sadly its only ever been unrequited. Theres so much grief around it, because theres a real feeling of scarcity around specialness. Ofc the person is « only » made special because of how our hormones affect us, but knowing we dont get that often with people does sting.
My solution is time, time to grieve, and working to be as authentically myself as I can, so I can cultivate intimacy in many places.
I'm terrible at managing long distance relationships, to the point that I cannot develop feelings for someone in such a way. Dating someone is the best way I have found to encourage feelings to grow. Obviously that's not always ideal, because there's no guarantee they *will* grow, and it's super awkward if they don't, but it can work.
I can do both but nothing beats the IRL chemistry. Most of my romantic relationships developed over just being able to talk for long hours without feeling awkward or guilty about anything I or they wanted to discuss. You nailed the safety part. There’s a level of vulnerability I need to have with the person where I cannot feel judged or questioned about it. Sometimes is just being able to share the quiet, sometimes it’s just being allowed to have those intrusive thoughts be verbally explored.
I have realized that the connection with someone can grow from a distance even, I believe that nowadays it's much easier than ever to develop a strong connection with someone you don't see often or even at all (LDR), Personally, connections grow more when the other person hints interest first, then it all goes from there and it continues to grow whether it is in person or through the phone or any other way... Finding something to bond over is also really important to me! Also about the night time... I feel like during the night I become more emotionally sensitive and maybe at that point I might a bit more open about my feelings however as I said, it mostly depends on the other person and how they speak to me!
Wow. I’m in this comment. Lol
Usually the feelings take me when im off guard, when ive gotten comfortable with someone, i get sort of a first glimmer and then it blossoms. Very similar to what you describe. Its only happened a handful of times, and sadly its only ever been unrequited. Theres so much grief around it, because theres a real feeling of scarcity around specialness. Ofc the person is « only » made special because of how our hormones affect us, but knowing we dont get that often with people does sting. My solution is time, time to grieve, and working to be as authentically myself as I can, so I can cultivate intimacy in many places.
I'm terrible at managing long distance relationships, to the point that I cannot develop feelings for someone in such a way. Dating someone is the best way I have found to encourage feelings to grow. Obviously that's not always ideal, because there's no guarantee they *will* grow, and it's super awkward if they don't, but it can work.