You're not alone, a lot (me included) of people feel this way too. Here's the thing, when you see these people in public, you're only seeing a small fraction of their actual life, chances are, behind that smile they may be hiding their own pain just like you are, nobody is ever 100% happy, something like that would be unnatural. All I can say is instead of focusing on how other people's happiness, you should focus on how you can work on yours. Hell, even try to make friends with some of these people if you can
i know. i know. happy people also feel sad sometimes. but i hate that their default baseline mood is still of positive emotion and thoughts. they feel happy most of the time, and sad sometimes. whereas its the opposite for me (or us). i have friends who i consider 'happy people' but i feel like if i ever tell them I'm sad, or share my feelings, they'll feel sad. and i dont think someone should ever feel sad because of me. I've hurt enough people already.
>All I can say is instead of focusing on how other people's happiness, you should focus on how you can work on yours.
tried that. but failed miserably at it. i dont think the next day will be any different from today, but like to believe that one day i miraculously wont be depressed anymore
I wouldn't even say that that's their baseline, for some people it's just a mask. And yeah, it would be nice if depression just suddenly went away, but unfortunately that's not the world that we live in. Coming from my experience with mental illness; talk to a therapist and look into getting some medication, I know you probably hear this a lot to the point where it's a cliche, but it really does help. Look into diet (diet can actually have a small effect in brain chemistry, though this does not mean it should be used to replace medication) and exercise (exercise can actually give you a dopamine boost), feeling good physically can help a little mentally. Pick up some hobbies too, like music, yoga, drawing, hiking, poetry, cooking, whatever your interested in. And try to put yourself out there little by little, join a group based on stuff you're into. It can be anything from an anime club, book club, cooking classes, painting classes, ECT..
You got this
That's why i have become into an anti-social nihilist, I hate the majority of people, who are hypocrites, egocentric and materialists. The majority of people do not really care about others unless they are rich. If you are not rich and don't have nice clothes and nice vehicles people will tend to reject you, to ignore you. But since i am an introvert, i don't care about others anymore
well I'll disagree with you there. i love people. i love the human race. i just hate myself. i dont believe that the majority of people are hypocrites, egocentric and materialists, but even if they are - so are you, dont you think?
Same here. That's the best reason to get rid of social media. I got so heated seeing people find love, have kids and having the success that I won't have. My depression has made me so bitter that I don't like seeing people happy or successful.
wish i could abandon social media. but so many friends in my life would disappear if i quit social media. i know its a shallow friendship, but i hate being alone
I understand. Most of my friends never really kept in touch anyways so I didn't really lose anything. Only two of my friends have talked to me in the past three years. If being or feeling alone makes it worse, then keep it. But if seeing them happy does even more damage, then I'd get rid of it. I went to a major college so a lot of the friends I had were going on and doing amazing things that I wish I could do, so it was better for me to just delete everything.
This might be a good insight for you but.
I am easily the happiest person in my friend group. Why? Because other people make me happy.
Once I get home?
It's anxiety
Self deletion thoughts and wishing I was dead.
I am only truly happy when I am with my friends.
The rest of the time?
I'm miserable, scared for the future, and lonely.
relate to that to the very core. moment I'm with people, all my negative thoughts become very passive. almost silent. like they never existed. moment I'm left alone, hell.
idk if people make me happy. but by some force of nature my negative thoughts go sushhh when I'm with my friend(s)
I don’t really mind peoples personalities so long as it doesn’t hurt anyone or make someone feel uncomfortable. If someone tried to make me be as extroverted as they were or be more social I wouldn’t like it. There has been situations like that before.
"This perpetual sadness that engulfs me"
Yup. I feel this. All of this. Even when im watching movies or tvs shows ill scream out loud things like "well good for fucking you" "must be nice thatll never be me"
Edit for wrong word
yup. totally. i can almost never watch a romantic movie. there was one time where i was watching one, and the couple started getting intimate or something, and i said "yup,, that's it" and shut my laptop and immediately started sobbing. heh.
First of all. Happy Birthday 💪🏼🌸💐
Also im with you. I live with a boyfriend who always gets excited about everyone's birthday. He gets gifts for the plug, tattoo artist, old friends that he only sees ooce a year, and family. And yet for the past 3 years he has complete forgotten about my birthday 😞. No gifts or cake. For Valentine's and Christmas he always says my gift on the way and i never get anything. But for everyone else he be spending weeks ahead of time.
Now i cry cause my birthday coming up and the past 2 birthdays all he gave me was black eyes.
Cheer up! Im happy for your birthday💕
hey. that's terrible what he does. that is very very pathetic behavior. he's been doing this and you're fine with it? did you not raise a concern or face him? why are you still with this person??
also, i see you're pregnant; is he the father?
Yes he is the father, we been together 3+ years. But honestly i stay with him because he slowly showing changes.
I had a bad childhood and past relationships where i was a sex object or treated like i wasn't anything. My self steem really low. Out of the people I've been with despite the random beatings he been the best. 🤕
girl, you deserve better. wtf! i understand that you had a rough past - and i sympathize with you - but you still don't deserve to be treated like that! random beatings you say? NO. doesn't seem like a good person to me. please tell him to progress and change himself faster. you wouldn't want a man like that to be your kid's father. the next thing you know, he'll traumatize your kid too and they also will land with a toxic partner and the cycle will continue generationally.
Thanks. Im like slowly saving money and after giving birth if he keeps being abusive. Imma dip with the baby. I already told him that i rather be a single mom than to deal with the random anger outburst. Plus my hormones sooo high and its making me more vulnerable, emotional and depressed.
i **am** an extrovert. not the chatterbox that keeps speaking all the time and annoys people. I'm an extrovert and i speak in balance, not too much, not too little. only thing I'm unable to talk about is my feelings
Well, then, you should be one of the happy ones, because the world is pretty kind to extroverts! But if you're not loud and obnoxious, maybe you're mistyped or not the typical one.
People fake happiness though. A coworker once told me I'm one of the most cheerful people she's met! I've been depressed for ages no one knows I sob in my car.
Also birthdays are hard. They're a reminder of everything that should've been. Maybe a miracle will happen and next year it will hurt less
I've definitely felt this way as well. Depression really sucks.
Have you tried counseling at all? It's helped me a little bit, although I still have work to do.
sucks too bad man. i don't even know what's wrong or what's causing it. there was incidents in my life which i think are causing it, but they're minor. which happen in everyone's lives. nothing like trauma or abuse. still i feel what i feel and i have no explanation why.
yeah i've tried therapy and even took antidepressants for a year - after which i was totally normal until i wasn't normal again. therapy was shit.
I don’t know if this will help but I struggle with recurring episodes of severe depression. I won’t socialize much when they happen but when I really have to I mask. A TON. People will see me as a happy person… and then I’ll crash out from the drain of masking so hard. a reminder to not compare your insides to other people’s (carefully crafted) outsides.
Happy Belated Birthday.
Now this is where hopefully we can all help each other. Get a pen and paper and list all the things you have done in your past which has been fun. Then with that list pick at least one that is realistic, even if it is something as simple as reading a book. Now you are going to write down positive things about yourself that you will pin up in your home or if you share a house with friends or family your room is good enough. Now every morning when you wake up you are going to read and repeat these phrases. Now here comes the hard part, you need to seek professional medical help. And quite possibly delete all your social media if need be, and find groups of people interested in the same hobbies as you but are also positive people.
Now remember this important thing is to be kind to yourself! You are amazing in your own unique way, as everyone is special.
idk man. i hate myself too much to be putting effort into *me*. its counterintuitive, i know. but it is what it is, and i have no motivation to do any basic tasks. if i could, i'd just lay in my bed all day. but if i did that - i'll be anxious that i'm not being productive. it's like- if i'm in my bed, i'm anxious. if i'm not, i'm depressed. unproductive in both. i hate myself so much that even if something good happens to me, i'll feel like i didn't deserve it. or at least didn't earn it, i got it purely by chance or a miracle. and all the times i've tried helping myself, i've failed miserable. so now i'm at a point where i don't see the point in trying anymore.
This is why you need to go seek professional medical advice. There is no miracle cure and it is a long process that isn't a case of here's a pill and you suddenly are better. But you need to make that 1st step and ask the doctor for help.
Happy birthday we almost born on the same day,tomorrow is my birthday :)
Depression is not a curse i see it as a blessing regular people go to work return home and feel almost same every single day they dont care about others or whats happening around us.When you are feeling sad it either makes you a kind person you become someone trying to do the right thing or you get bitter you hate everyone and everything.Please choose the first one because we do not have that type of people a lot.Being bad is a easy choice and it makes it harder for everyone it creates more [miseray.You](http://miseray.You) cannot cure a disease by spreading it right?
I am probably one of those people who you hate to be happy,people who knows me always thinks omg how can someone be so positive and hopeful but they dont know how i am doing when i am in the shower or before going to bed when people are not around you dont need to keep the fake smile...You can never know when someone is happy or just faking it dont hate people if they look happy you can never know how much they have suffered to reach that point or if they are actually happy at all.Just be happy for them postivity trully spreads be happy with them.
If you have a steam account i can buy you a indie game as a birthday gift
No one should be crying at their birthday
happy birthday to you in advance!
i think the contrary. happy people follow the same routine and be happy, but depressed people also follow a routine but are unhappy. its not about a routine.
i consider myself being a fairly modest and kind person, but that's got nothing to do with my mood or state of depression. in fact, when I'm depressed and someone bothers me, I'm likely to snap or shout at them.
i do the same thing as you. put up a fake smile. i dont want to bother someone or be a burden.
thanks for the offer, but I'll pass on that. if you could, donate a few dollars to charity or organisations that feed the hungry in war struck countries. I'd be more than happy if you did that.
>No one should be crying at their birthday
well, here i am. lol.
thank you for reaching out though. means a lot.
I guarantee you "happy people" are not actually happy all the time. That's just impossible. No way a human being can be happy 24/7. And those who seem the happiest are actually the saddest alone.
not claiming that. just that they're happy majority of the time and sad sometimes. whereas its the opposite for me. heck, i consider myself not-sad as being happy
I just find them so draining.
more like envious. or hopeless that i wont ever feel what they feel
You're not alone, a lot (me included) of people feel this way too. Here's the thing, when you see these people in public, you're only seeing a small fraction of their actual life, chances are, behind that smile they may be hiding their own pain just like you are, nobody is ever 100% happy, something like that would be unnatural. All I can say is instead of focusing on how other people's happiness, you should focus on how you can work on yours. Hell, even try to make friends with some of these people if you can
i know. i know. happy people also feel sad sometimes. but i hate that their default baseline mood is still of positive emotion and thoughts. they feel happy most of the time, and sad sometimes. whereas its the opposite for me (or us). i have friends who i consider 'happy people' but i feel like if i ever tell them I'm sad, or share my feelings, they'll feel sad. and i dont think someone should ever feel sad because of me. I've hurt enough people already. >All I can say is instead of focusing on how other people's happiness, you should focus on how you can work on yours. tried that. but failed miserably at it. i dont think the next day will be any different from today, but like to believe that one day i miraculously wont be depressed anymore
I wouldn't even say that that's their baseline, for some people it's just a mask. And yeah, it would be nice if depression just suddenly went away, but unfortunately that's not the world that we live in. Coming from my experience with mental illness; talk to a therapist and look into getting some medication, I know you probably hear this a lot to the point where it's a cliche, but it really does help. Look into diet (diet can actually have a small effect in brain chemistry, though this does not mean it should be used to replace medication) and exercise (exercise can actually give you a dopamine boost), feeling good physically can help a little mentally. Pick up some hobbies too, like music, yoga, drawing, hiking, poetry, cooking, whatever your interested in. And try to put yourself out there little by little, join a group based on stuff you're into. It can be anything from an anime club, book club, cooking classes, painting classes, ECT.. You got this
That's why i have become into an anti-social nihilist, I hate the majority of people, who are hypocrites, egocentric and materialists. The majority of people do not really care about others unless they are rich. If you are not rich and don't have nice clothes and nice vehicles people will tend to reject you, to ignore you. But since i am an introvert, i don't care about others anymore
well I'll disagree with you there. i love people. i love the human race. i just hate myself. i dont believe that the majority of people are hypocrites, egocentric and materialists, but even if they are - so are you, dont you think?
Same here. That's the best reason to get rid of social media. I got so heated seeing people find love, have kids and having the success that I won't have. My depression has made me so bitter that I don't like seeing people happy or successful.
wish i could abandon social media. but so many friends in my life would disappear if i quit social media. i know its a shallow friendship, but i hate being alone
Take that risk and quit social media if you despise happy people. Maybe social media is the reason
I understand. Most of my friends never really kept in touch anyways so I didn't really lose anything. Only two of my friends have talked to me in the past three years. If being or feeling alone makes it worse, then keep it. But if seeing them happy does even more damage, then I'd get rid of it. I went to a major college so a lot of the friends I had were going on and doing amazing things that I wish I could do, so it was better for me to just delete everything.
This might be a good insight for you but. I am easily the happiest person in my friend group. Why? Because other people make me happy. Once I get home? It's anxiety Self deletion thoughts and wishing I was dead. I am only truly happy when I am with my friends. The rest of the time? I'm miserable, scared for the future, and lonely.
relate to that to the very core. moment I'm with people, all my negative thoughts become very passive. almost silent. like they never existed. moment I'm left alone, hell. idk if people make me happy. but by some force of nature my negative thoughts go sushhh when I'm with my friend(s)
You don't hate happy people. You envy them. I am them only when I am with people like you. Then I am you.
that's one way to put it. >You don't hate happy people. You envy them. correct.
I made the same post some time ago. I feel exactly the same. I'm 20 too. I can't even comfort you. Living sucks.
honestly wish it gets better for both of us. wanna connect personally?
We can but I'm just pathetic guy
I don’t really mind peoples personalities so long as it doesn’t hurt anyone or make someone feel uncomfortable. If someone tried to make me be as extroverted as they were or be more social I wouldn’t like it. There has been situations like that before.
"This perpetual sadness that engulfs me" Yup. I feel this. All of this. Even when im watching movies or tvs shows ill scream out loud things like "well good for fucking you" "must be nice thatll never be me" Edit for wrong word
yup. totally. i can almost never watch a romantic movie. there was one time where i was watching one, and the couple started getting intimate or something, and i said "yup,, that's it" and shut my laptop and immediately started sobbing. heh.
First of all. Happy Birthday 💪🏼🌸💐 Also im with you. I live with a boyfriend who always gets excited about everyone's birthday. He gets gifts for the plug, tattoo artist, old friends that he only sees ooce a year, and family. And yet for the past 3 years he has complete forgotten about my birthday 😞. No gifts or cake. For Valentine's and Christmas he always says my gift on the way and i never get anything. But for everyone else he be spending weeks ahead of time. Now i cry cause my birthday coming up and the past 2 birthdays all he gave me was black eyes. Cheer up! Im happy for your birthday💕
hey. that's terrible what he does. that is very very pathetic behavior. he's been doing this and you're fine with it? did you not raise a concern or face him? why are you still with this person?? also, i see you're pregnant; is he the father?
Yes he is the father, we been together 3+ years. But honestly i stay with him because he slowly showing changes. I had a bad childhood and past relationships where i was a sex object or treated like i wasn't anything. My self steem really low. Out of the people I've been with despite the random beatings he been the best. 🤕
girl, you deserve better. wtf! i understand that you had a rough past - and i sympathize with you - but you still don't deserve to be treated like that! random beatings you say? NO. doesn't seem like a good person to me. please tell him to progress and change himself faster. you wouldn't want a man like that to be your kid's father. the next thing you know, he'll traumatize your kid too and they also will land with a toxic partner and the cycle will continue generationally.
Thanks. Im like slowly saving money and after giving birth if he keeps being abusive. Imma dip with the baby. I already told him that i rather be a single mom than to deal with the random anger outburst. Plus my hormones sooo high and its making me more vulnerable, emotional and depressed.
I am just envious of them
I, too, find forever-smiling loud extroverts SO annoying!!!
i **am** an extrovert. not the chatterbox that keeps speaking all the time and annoys people. I'm an extrovert and i speak in balance, not too much, not too little. only thing I'm unable to talk about is my feelings
Well, then, you should be one of the happy ones, because the world is pretty kind to extroverts! But if you're not loud and obnoxious, maybe you're mistyped or not the typical one.
People fake happiness though. A coworker once told me I'm one of the most cheerful people she's met! I've been depressed for ages no one knows I sob in my car. Also birthdays are hard. They're a reminder of everything that should've been. Maybe a miracle will happen and next year it will hurt less
I've definitely felt this way as well. Depression really sucks. Have you tried counseling at all? It's helped me a little bit, although I still have work to do.
sucks too bad man. i don't even know what's wrong or what's causing it. there was incidents in my life which i think are causing it, but they're minor. which happen in everyone's lives. nothing like trauma or abuse. still i feel what i feel and i have no explanation why. yeah i've tried therapy and even took antidepressants for a year - after which i was totally normal until i wasn't normal again. therapy was shit.
I don’t know if this will help but I struggle with recurring episodes of severe depression. I won’t socialize much when they happen but when I really have to I mask. A TON. People will see me as a happy person… and then I’ll crash out from the drain of masking so hard. a reminder to not compare your insides to other people’s (carefully crafted) outsides.
>a reminder to not compare your insides to other people’s (carefully crafted) outsides. hey, that's a nice insight. thanks for sharing.
It’s been a mantra for me for years, really helps to counteract some of the lies that depression tells us. Good luck in your fight, friend.
Happy Belated Birthday. Now this is where hopefully we can all help each other. Get a pen and paper and list all the things you have done in your past which has been fun. Then with that list pick at least one that is realistic, even if it is something as simple as reading a book. Now you are going to write down positive things about yourself that you will pin up in your home or if you share a house with friends or family your room is good enough. Now every morning when you wake up you are going to read and repeat these phrases. Now here comes the hard part, you need to seek professional medical help. And quite possibly delete all your social media if need be, and find groups of people interested in the same hobbies as you but are also positive people. Now remember this important thing is to be kind to yourself! You are amazing in your own unique way, as everyone is special.
idk man. i hate myself too much to be putting effort into *me*. its counterintuitive, i know. but it is what it is, and i have no motivation to do any basic tasks. if i could, i'd just lay in my bed all day. but if i did that - i'll be anxious that i'm not being productive. it's like- if i'm in my bed, i'm anxious. if i'm not, i'm depressed. unproductive in both. i hate myself so much that even if something good happens to me, i'll feel like i didn't deserve it. or at least didn't earn it, i got it purely by chance or a miracle. and all the times i've tried helping myself, i've failed miserable. so now i'm at a point where i don't see the point in trying anymore.
This is why you need to go seek professional medical advice. There is no miracle cure and it is a long process that isn't a case of here's a pill and you suddenly are better. But you need to make that 1st step and ask the doctor for help.
Same with my my birthday sucks ass never feel happy anymore
Happy birthday we almost born on the same day,tomorrow is my birthday :) Depression is not a curse i see it as a blessing regular people go to work return home and feel almost same every single day they dont care about others or whats happening around us.When you are feeling sad it either makes you a kind person you become someone trying to do the right thing or you get bitter you hate everyone and everything.Please choose the first one because we do not have that type of people a lot.Being bad is a easy choice and it makes it harder for everyone it creates more [miseray.You](http://miseray.You) cannot cure a disease by spreading it right? I am probably one of those people who you hate to be happy,people who knows me always thinks omg how can someone be so positive and hopeful but they dont know how i am doing when i am in the shower or before going to bed when people are not around you dont need to keep the fake smile...You can never know when someone is happy or just faking it dont hate people if they look happy you can never know how much they have suffered to reach that point or if they are actually happy at all.Just be happy for them postivity trully spreads be happy with them. If you have a steam account i can buy you a indie game as a birthday gift No one should be crying at their birthday
happy birthday to you in advance! i think the contrary. happy people follow the same routine and be happy, but depressed people also follow a routine but are unhappy. its not about a routine. i consider myself being a fairly modest and kind person, but that's got nothing to do with my mood or state of depression. in fact, when I'm depressed and someone bothers me, I'm likely to snap or shout at them. i do the same thing as you. put up a fake smile. i dont want to bother someone or be a burden. thanks for the offer, but I'll pass on that. if you could, donate a few dollars to charity or organisations that feed the hungry in war struck countries. I'd be more than happy if you did that. >No one should be crying at their birthday well, here i am. lol. thank you for reaching out though. means a lot.
I guarantee you "happy people" are not actually happy all the time. That's just impossible. No way a human being can be happy 24/7. And those who seem the happiest are actually the saddest alone.
not claiming that. just that they're happy majority of the time and sad sometimes. whereas its the opposite for me. heck, i consider myself not-sad as being happy
I’m more jealous and mystified
there's a difference between jealousy and envy though. i don't want people to be sad if i'm sad