Look. I have lived with PTSD for almost half my life now. It's just reality that you can't avoid triggers everywhere. You have to remember the world does not revolve around you. Sometimes you have to realise that an app widget making a reference to a meme is just an app widget making a reference to a meme. It'll get slightly easier each time you're exposed to something that reminds you of it - you won't notice whilst it's happening, but one day it'll hit you that you've come a long way.
Yeah I have to agree with this. Also OP my house burned down so I get you, it's freaking traumatic. But honestly I think the worst part is the dog dying. So I don't know your mum, but for me personally I didn't care about that, I was only happy that everyone was safe. The worst part is feeling bad for those who lost everything. For myself I was fine. Often it can hurt more to feel for others. It's possible that your mum is sad about the dog and stressed about the house. Sorry for the long ramble, what I'm trying to say is that sympathy can really hurt. Sorry I just woke up, brain not working.
Losing her dog is 110% the worst part. My dad died suddenly when I was a kid, so losing a lot of things related to him is also really tough, but we’d give all of that stuff up if we could have Duke back. I know I’m just being overly sensitive right now because it’s just so fresh in my mind and so I just got rid of the widget. I think last night when I saw it I was just in a bad spot.
You’re not being overly sensitive. You and your mother experienced something traumatic with added trauma from losing your dog and things that were your fathers.
It’s ok to not be ok. It’s ok to need time. It’s ok to need to get rid of the widget. You can always get the widget back later if you do choose.
I’m so sorry for you and your mother’s loss of the dog and of irreplaceable sentimental items that belonged to your father. Give yourself time and be patient with yourself. Grieving is not an over night process. It will get easier with time, not necessarily better but easier.
But everyone wasn't safe. "It's possible your mom is sad about the dog"? What is this, rage bait?
Of course she is sad that her family member died in a fire!
I 100 percent did not mean to imply that it's ok that the dog died, I was referring to my situation in which everyone including my dog came out of the fire safely. I was also expressing my belief that while op's mom experienced something traumatic the house fire itself is probably more of a stressful event compared to the tragic event of the dog dying. Like I said my brain wasn't working so likely I didn't express myself well.
But also OP, I hope your mum will recover, and feeling sympathy for others is also painful so I hope you recover too.
It's not about immediate relief. OP will learn to deal the fact, that some things in life just suck. It sometimes helps to know that things will be alright later on, even if they arent now
I was in therapy for ptsd for over a decade (no longer qualify for that diagnosis!) but everything we always learned about triggers was that we should know them so we can be prepared for when we inevitably encounter them in life. It’s weird how the whole thing was co-opted online. It’s healthier and builds independence, resilience, and a sense of empowerment to learn to deal with them than to expect other people to help you avoid them.
Also, in the end triggers are usually a lot more nuanced. Like to compare to how I felt, if my trauma was a house fire, it wouldn’t be seeing fictional house fires that trigger me. It would be more catching the smell of burning wood, for example. Everyone is different, of course, but through all the learning I’ve done and experience I’ve had with other people, most people tend to find the small things they never would’ve thought of to be what brings the feelings back long term.
But yeah, OP is just a week out so obviously I would expect them to still be dealing with the direct effects of this incident, never mind the long term mental fallout. It’s understandable the meme might seem upsetting right now, but hopefully OP (and their mom!) has emotional support to go along with help for the physical loss they’ve experienced too
I’ve been in therapy on and off since I was a kid (to add to the trauma, my dad died suddenly when I was a kid and we lost a lot of things related to him, but we’d trade it all if we could have Duke back) and I’m going to definitely work on handling this in therapy. I have a bachelors in psych, so I know logically this isn’t anyone else’s responsibility, it was just upsetting in the moment and needed to vent a bit, I think.
Sorry you've been through all that, and I think it's totally understandable that in the midst of what you're dealing with that something like this would be upsetting. I think it's more long term that people should focus on overcoming their own triggers. It feels powerful for me that my traumas don't derail my life anymore, but that took a lot of time! In the midst of crisis, most of us would probably feel the same as you do. Obviously duolingo can't prevent any possible scenario someone is going through, but that doesn't mean someone has to just suck it up and deal with it. You can still feel bad because of it. You're human.
Of course nothing matters as much as your dog, but losing all the material possessions matters too, I think. I have things I would be upset to lose. I think losing your house generally (or your parent's house/your childhood house) could lead to a profound feeling of insecurity and instability in life because our home is the one place we generally feel most safe and secure. Luckily it sounds like you're in a good position to deal with all this long term, though. Good luck to you and your mom <3
I agree and I know I was just being overly sensitive because it was fresh in my mind last night. I’m just really missing her dog. We lost a lot of things related to my dad (he died suddenly when I was a kid) and that sucks, but I just can’t stop thinking about her dog. I delete the widget for now cause obviously that’s the easiest solution, but I guess last night this just messed with me right before bed.
I don’t think you’re being overly sensitive. You’re reacting to a reminder of a recent traumatic situation in which you suffered real loss. I am really sorry for your loss OP, both of the dog and your dad’s things, that’s really rough.
I second this, I had a car accident, it gets better. My dad has been pushing me into driving my car again and go faster and faster every time by now, it has been round about 4 years and the only thing that still hurts is what my dad has said when I've been home from the hospital. He said " if I would've seen your car before you, I would've picked out a gravestone"
While I agree, it's probably better to have an opt in to alternate icons rather than it being the default. Especially if they are going to have the icon be objectively violent.
Yeah, but this was LAST WEEK.
I have PTSD as well, but there’s a difference between how I reacted to being triggered a week after I was traumatised vs now, 7 years afterwards. I’ve had 7 years to learn how to self-soothe and deal with my trauma (not always easy though, lol), this person has had barely a week to make sense of what they’re going through.
This comment just seems really insensitive and slightly aggressive.
People who are obsessed with the “dose of reality” shit in regards to people who have gone through life-altering events always come off as pompous and rude
That’s true but the company doesn’t know that.
It’s fine to find something triggering and be upset at the bad fortune that delivered such an unfortunate image to you. But Duo have no way of controlling for that.
Did I say the company knew that?
Can someone point me to where OP said “duolingo need to get rid of this RIGHT NOW because I was upset by it!!!!!” Because literally nowhere in the original post was that said.
Not at all what I was going for. I was just pointing out that they're always gonna come across things that remind them of it, and you can't expect people or companies to avoid referencing entire topics because a small amount of people may be upset by it. Not sure where I was aggressive. All I did was share my experience and said that it'll get easier over time.
Maybe it was the bit where I said "the world doesn't revolve around you" that you felt was wrong? But personally I've found this thought to help with healing and processing reality. Perhaps it's tough love. But things can become a lot less upsetting when you remind yourself that it's not all a personal attack against you, not everybody knows your situation, they aren't saying or doing things specifically to upset you. It's just happening and you happen to be there.
OP didn’t even say anything about the company avoiding certain topics because they were upset by it. This is something that you have made up in your head.
"Yeah, but this was LAST WEEK."
Excellent point. Duo should consult all people about current events in their life prior to releasing any kind of material. Just in case.
I think the duo-team is trying to play off the famous meme. I’m sorry for your mom house. The team might look into opt in/out option for creative widgets.
Playing devils advocate so please bear with me as I’m not trying to create hate.
People get sensitive over the stupidest things. Unfortunate? Yes. Does Duolingo need to apologize and change their icon over this? Absolutely not.
No matter what people create someone will have an issue with it. Forbid a company show character for once to keep us engaged.
This rationale is fine until it strikes YOU.
Duolingo thrives on its idea to be a little controversial because it's theatrically attractive and engaging for most of us, most of the time, helps a lot to be on course of learning, while rest of them don't bring down the market capitalization.
There are other good apps for language learning without drama, probably even better than duolingo for some languages, but less engaging.
Choose what suits you the best.
To be fair.. the “controversy” creates enough emotional shock to be memorable.. to make whatever is that you learn - memorable. Lots of people that are good in memorising huge random amount of data share this trick - imagine something outrageously offensive/ bizarre/ weird /funny etc and insert whatever you want to remember in that picture .. and your brain will store it long term. ;)
I agree, repetition on failure and emotional shocks are the best effective ways. But for this particular case, it's being used for engagement rather than a lesson learning.
> This rationale is fine until it strikes YOU.
no. what makes you think it would be any different? do you think everyone is just hypocritical like that?
True. Yet we are all emotional beings and get our feelings hurt somehow/somewhere. If I’d be on Duolingo team - giving an option not to see what ever is triggering, even for minority of customers, would mean only win/win.
It’s a nice idea but do you think it could realistically be implemented? Like even if Duo stuck in a toggle switch for content warning about a burning house image, would you remember to toggle that one after a burnt house situation? Would trying to remember which apps have which toggles perhaps be even more triggering because it forces you to engage repeatedly with the situation?
I know it’s just a joke and they weren’t targeting me or something. I deleted the widget for now cause I’m obviously not ready to handle jokes about houses burning down. That’s not anyone else’s problem or responsibility. I think last night was just bad and I needed to vent.
I am so sorry for your loss. It is not easy to deal with unexpected triggers across the internet. Trust me, I know from my own experience. You just have to push through it. In the 1.5 years since I lost my husband, it hasn't gotten easy at all. I have just gotten better at pushing away images/triggers or at expecting them.
As for the solution, if that is what you were hoping for, it really is to remove the widget for now, since you know to expect this doodle again.
I don't think you came in here expecting solutions from people or Duolingo. You just wanted to talk about it. I am sorry so many people here don't get it, or maybe it's a good thing, we don't need more traumatized people on this earth.
Yeah, I removed the widget for now cause while I normally really enjoyed the widget, it’s clearly too much for me right now. I know it’s just a joke and I’m not expecting everyone to cater to my trauma, but I think I just needed to vent last night. It’s just still very fresh.
I also was a bit vague when I made the post cause I was tired, but I really don’t expect folks to understand and I realize folks will make jokes and whatnot because it’s Reddit. I mean, I made a memorial post for Duke and someone tried to say we should have done more to save him. From what the fire investigator has found so far, it appears the fridge exploded. My mom has 4 acres and was in the other side of one of the other buildings and was only outside for 10 mins when someone saw the smoke from the road and came running up. She opened the door to try and run in to save Duke and the smoke and heat was already so bad that the guy there (we found out later he was an off duty cop) literally grabbed my mom and held her back. She kept saying “I’ll crawl, I have to find him, he’s scared.” I just still can’t believe how quickly it happened, but there’s an outdoor camera and we can see the time things happened.
Edit: sorry, I forgot to add that I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband. I know loss gets easier, but that’s recent enough that it’s still a very fresh wound.
Oh so *that's* why!! Thanks, I need to turn that off too!
https://preview.redd.it/c3kxb4rwuaad1.jpeg?width=539&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=195b49f019f73952e9e2216a84aaf6118c657388
The two yellow things at the bottom left are the talons, I meant the green circle to the right, and the thing that extends out under the second face. I really don't understand what it's supposed to depict.
Your post has been removed for violating our community rules against bullying, trolling, and bigotry, which includes but is not limited to linguistic discrimination, homophobia, transphobia, and xenophobia. Continued violations may result in being muted or banned from this subreddit.
Please review our community guidelines to understand the types of conduct that are unacceptable here. Thank you for your understanding.
After going through a fire myself, I understand this initial knee-jerk reaction. The day after our fire I was staying with my parents and my mom was making cookies. We were chatting and she innocently sniffed the air, noticing the smell of the cookies, and said “I think something is burning”. I had an absolute falling-down-on-the-ground, sobbing and hyperventilating panic attack. Now, 20 years down the line, someone could say the same thing and it wouldn’t even remind me of our fire.
It’s fresh for you. I am really sorry your mom is dealing with the grief of losing everything. It is a very very difficult, stressful, life-changing event. However, it’s just the freshness of the event that is making this painful for you. You surely cannot expect a multinational corporation be able to anticipate that a certain number of their clients might have just had their homes burned down. Give it some time. There will be triggers you see everywhere, but it will get better with time. Hang in there for your mom and I hope she can get the help she needs to rebuild her life. Best of luck to you and especially your poor mom.
Yeah, I don’t expect Duolingo to know our situation and cater to every possible situation. I just deleted the widget for now. It was just the initial shock of it last night that kind of got to me.
I think it's already been said by a lot of people, but I saw something about PTSD a while ago that has helped me with some things.
A person with PTSD over experiencing gun violence might be set off by the sounds of fireworks. A person setting off fireworks in their neighborhood might trigger a response. It's a willful act taken by the second person but the goal wasn't to hurt the first person. Hurt still happens though, even if no one did anything wrong.
Duolingo didn't do anything wrong with the reference, but the reference still hurt you. You're not wrong to feel hurt or to be reminded of the trauma.
I'm sorry for the loss of your mom's home and friend. I hope you and her will be okay
My now-husband's house burnt down last year. He lost everything including his car and we were making fun of it within the week. It's okay to feel hurt. My heart still breaks thinking about everything he lost, but we have never let stuff like this get to us. It's okay to feel your feelings, but don't let them rule you. It's an app. Brush it off and move on. And I'm sorry for the loss your family experienced. I truly do understand.
I really was more venting. I know they can’t know and I don’t expect everyone to suddenly cater to me, I think just seeing this when I was tired just messed with me a bit.
This was my first thought as well. I’m not trying to be in the trauma Olympics but my family’s house burnt down a week before Christmas and then my mother’s house burnt down almost 2 months to the day after. Seeing this widget posted several times in the past week and I didn’t even think about mine and my mother’s house fires. Losing everything in a fire is a very traumatic experience but this shouldn’t upset anyone enough to post about it online
I’m sorry for your loss. I think if her dog had made it, I’d be doing a lot better. My dad died suddenly when I was a kid and losing stuff related to him sucks, but I just loved that dog so much and I’d trade all of it if he could have been ok. It’s not Duo’s fault and I don’t expect them to change for me and removing the widget was obviously the easy solution, but I think last night I just needed to vent.
Im sorry for your loss as well and you know what, I really respect that. Coming back on this thread to say that after so many disagreed with you says a lot about you. I completely understand how hard it can be. My kids and I lost everything but the clothes on our back and I don’t know what we would have done without the help of our community pulling together to make sure we had everything we needed. All that to say, you’re allowed to have emotional days after trauma. I hope time will help you and your mother heal.
Well I suggest maybe staying offline, don’t watch a tv show or even the news because that could be triggering. I have empathy and compassion for A LOT of things but getting upset over a widget that is meant to be a play on a famous meme and then posting online is a bit much to me 🤦🏽♀️
I'm really sorry and I know just what you are going through. I went through the same thing a few months ago and I'm still recovering. Over time, things will be easier. Give your mom a big hug 🫂 I'm sure she could use one.
I was just venting, I know they are just making a joke, but I think seeing that right before bed was just a bit shocking. There’s no way they can know and I know I can’t expect everyone to suddenly stop that meme, that’s beyond unreasonable; world doesn’t revolve around my trauma.
Yeah after having duos bullshit after a death in the family I canceled my super subscription and switched to Babel. I'd stopped learning by that point anyway cause this app is just concerned about your screentime on the app and no actual progress.
If we must have devices that listen to us 24/7, they can at least listen for clues that someone’s house just burned down - and then not allow apps to threaten to burn down their houses.
Bro thinks duo is actually spying on our every move & companies have active stalkers to stalk their users. All companies can collect is login info, user data, & whatever any other firm sells them
OP, I’m so sorry. That’s a fucked up coincidence.
Also, I don’t care what people are saying here—this is not funny, and that *is* insensitive. Duo shouldn’t go as far as (passive)aggressively threatening his users for potentially losing their game streak.
Are you going to report it? You could share this Reddit post in your report ticket. Let us know if you want extra help.
I hope your Mom is okay. And I hope you’re getting help… Fires are extremely traumatic. Make sure you don’t rush your healing. RIP your Mom’s dog ♥
If they tried to avoid every trigger for everyone they wouldn't be able to do anything humorous. As someone with past childhood trauma I find the weirdest things intensely triggering, such as being a passenger in a car, but I don't expect the whole world to avoid talking about taxis or whatever.
I think you are right. The more aggressive widget animations are probably fun for a lot of people, but the team must know that this frightens/upsets some users. I'm really sorry about your mom's house.
You recognize that you're not handling it well, and that's a good thing. Recognizing that will help you overcome it eventually. While I understand this is a horrible time for your mom, I do find it difficult to understand why this is causing you so much distress. I might have missed the fact that you were in the house when the fire happened. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It must have been really traumatizing.
Look. I have lived with PTSD for almost half my life now. It's just reality that you can't avoid triggers everywhere. You have to remember the world does not revolve around you. Sometimes you have to realise that an app widget making a reference to a meme is just an app widget making a reference to a meme. It'll get slightly easier each time you're exposed to something that reminds you of it - you won't notice whilst it's happening, but one day it'll hit you that you've come a long way.
Yeah I have to agree with this. Also OP my house burned down so I get you, it's freaking traumatic. But honestly I think the worst part is the dog dying. So I don't know your mum, but for me personally I didn't care about that, I was only happy that everyone was safe. The worst part is feeling bad for those who lost everything. For myself I was fine. Often it can hurt more to feel for others. It's possible that your mum is sad about the dog and stressed about the house. Sorry for the long ramble, what I'm trying to say is that sympathy can really hurt. Sorry I just woke up, brain not working.
Losing her dog is 110% the worst part. My dad died suddenly when I was a kid, so losing a lot of things related to him is also really tough, but we’d give all of that stuff up if we could have Duke back. I know I’m just being overly sensitive right now because it’s just so fresh in my mind and so I just got rid of the widget. I think last night when I saw it I was just in a bad spot.
You’re not being overly sensitive. You and your mother experienced something traumatic with added trauma from losing your dog and things that were your fathers. It’s ok to not be ok. It’s ok to need time. It’s ok to need to get rid of the widget. You can always get the widget back later if you do choose. I’m so sorry for you and your mother’s loss of the dog and of irreplaceable sentimental items that belonged to your father. Give yourself time and be patient with yourself. Grieving is not an over night process. It will get easier with time, not necessarily better but easier.
It's ok, it's a horrible thing to experience
But everyone wasn't safe. "It's possible your mom is sad about the dog"? What is this, rage bait? Of course she is sad that her family member died in a fire!
I 100 percent did not mean to imply that it's ok that the dog died, I was referring to my situation in which everyone including my dog came out of the fire safely. I was also expressing my belief that while op's mom experienced something traumatic the house fire itself is probably more of a stressful event compared to the tragic event of the dog dying. Like I said my brain wasn't working so likely I didn't express myself well. But also OP, I hope your mum will recover, and feeling sympathy for others is also painful so I hope you recover too.
Your comment and the poster above you have probably not provided OP with any comfort or relief. Congratulations on commenting for your own ego! :)
It's not about immediate relief. OP will learn to deal the fact, that some things in life just suck. It sometimes helps to know that things will be alright later on, even if they arent now
I was in therapy for ptsd for over a decade (no longer qualify for that diagnosis!) but everything we always learned about triggers was that we should know them so we can be prepared for when we inevitably encounter them in life. It’s weird how the whole thing was co-opted online. It’s healthier and builds independence, resilience, and a sense of empowerment to learn to deal with them than to expect other people to help you avoid them. Also, in the end triggers are usually a lot more nuanced. Like to compare to how I felt, if my trauma was a house fire, it wouldn’t be seeing fictional house fires that trigger me. It would be more catching the smell of burning wood, for example. Everyone is different, of course, but through all the learning I’ve done and experience I’ve had with other people, most people tend to find the small things they never would’ve thought of to be what brings the feelings back long term. But yeah, OP is just a week out so obviously I would expect them to still be dealing with the direct effects of this incident, never mind the long term mental fallout. It’s understandable the meme might seem upsetting right now, but hopefully OP (and their mom!) has emotional support to go along with help for the physical loss they’ve experienced too
I’ve been in therapy on and off since I was a kid (to add to the trauma, my dad died suddenly when I was a kid and we lost a lot of things related to him, but we’d trade it all if we could have Duke back) and I’m going to definitely work on handling this in therapy. I have a bachelors in psych, so I know logically this isn’t anyone else’s responsibility, it was just upsetting in the moment and needed to vent a bit, I think.
Sorry you've been through all that, and I think it's totally understandable that in the midst of what you're dealing with that something like this would be upsetting. I think it's more long term that people should focus on overcoming their own triggers. It feels powerful for me that my traumas don't derail my life anymore, but that took a lot of time! In the midst of crisis, most of us would probably feel the same as you do. Obviously duolingo can't prevent any possible scenario someone is going through, but that doesn't mean someone has to just suck it up and deal with it. You can still feel bad because of it. You're human. Of course nothing matters as much as your dog, but losing all the material possessions matters too, I think. I have things I would be upset to lose. I think losing your house generally (or your parent's house/your childhood house) could lead to a profound feeling of insecurity and instability in life because our home is the one place we generally feel most safe and secure. Luckily it sounds like you're in a good position to deal with all this long term, though. Good luck to you and your mom <3
I agree and I know I was just being overly sensitive because it was fresh in my mind last night. I’m just really missing her dog. We lost a lot of things related to my dad (he died suddenly when I was a kid) and that sucks, but I just can’t stop thinking about her dog. I delete the widget for now cause obviously that’s the easiest solution, but I guess last night this just messed with me right before bed.
I don’t think you’re being overly sensitive. You’re reacting to a reminder of a recent traumatic situation in which you suffered real loss. I am really sorry for your loss OP, both of the dog and your dad’s things, that’s really rough.
I second this, I had a car accident, it gets better. My dad has been pushing me into driving my car again and go faster and faster every time by now, it has been round about 4 years and the only thing that still hurts is what my dad has said when I've been home from the hospital. He said " if I would've seen your car before you, I would've picked out a gravestone"
While I agree, it's probably better to have an opt in to alternate icons rather than it being the default. Especially if they are going to have the icon be objectively violent.
Yeah, but this was LAST WEEK. I have PTSD as well, but there’s a difference between how I reacted to being triggered a week after I was traumatised vs now, 7 years afterwards. I’ve had 7 years to learn how to self-soothe and deal with my trauma (not always easy though, lol), this person has had barely a week to make sense of what they’re going through. This comment just seems really insensitive and slightly aggressive.
The comment does not seem insensitive/aggressive at all to me. Just a dose of reality on how to deal with life.
People who are obsessed with the “dose of reality” shit in regards to people who have gone through life-altering events always come off as pompous and rude
I do not share your views.
Good thing I didn’t ask.
That’s true but the company doesn’t know that. It’s fine to find something triggering and be upset at the bad fortune that delivered such an unfortunate image to you. But Duo have no way of controlling for that.
Did I say the company knew that? Can someone point me to where OP said “duolingo need to get rid of this RIGHT NOW because I was upset by it!!!!!” Because literally nowhere in the original post was that said.
Not at all what I was going for. I was just pointing out that they're always gonna come across things that remind them of it, and you can't expect people or companies to avoid referencing entire topics because a small amount of people may be upset by it. Not sure where I was aggressive. All I did was share my experience and said that it'll get easier over time. Maybe it was the bit where I said "the world doesn't revolve around you" that you felt was wrong? But personally I've found this thought to help with healing and processing reality. Perhaps it's tough love. But things can become a lot less upsetting when you remind yourself that it's not all a personal attack against you, not everybody knows your situation, they aren't saying or doing things specifically to upset you. It's just happening and you happen to be there.
OP didn’t even say anything about the company avoiding certain topics because they were upset by it. This is something that you have made up in your head.
"Yeah, but this was LAST WEEK." Excellent point. Duo should consult all people about current events in their life prior to releasing any kind of material. Just in case.
I’m not saying that. Don’t put words in my mouth,
THIS
I think the duo-team is trying to play off the famous meme. I’m sorry for your mom house. The team might look into opt in/out option for creative widgets.
Yeah it’s the disaster girl meme that he’s recreating.
Playing devils advocate so please bear with me as I’m not trying to create hate. People get sensitive over the stupidest things. Unfortunate? Yes. Does Duolingo need to apologize and change their icon over this? Absolutely not. No matter what people create someone will have an issue with it. Forbid a company show character for once to keep us engaged.
This rationale is fine until it strikes YOU. Duolingo thrives on its idea to be a little controversial because it's theatrically attractive and engaging for most of us, most of the time, helps a lot to be on course of learning, while rest of them don't bring down the market capitalization. There are other good apps for language learning without drama, probably even better than duolingo for some languages, but less engaging. Choose what suits you the best.
To be fair.. the “controversy” creates enough emotional shock to be memorable.. to make whatever is that you learn - memorable. Lots of people that are good in memorising huge random amount of data share this trick - imagine something outrageously offensive/ bizarre/ weird /funny etc and insert whatever you want to remember in that picture .. and your brain will store it long term. ;)
I agree, repetition on failure and emotional shocks are the best effective ways. But for this particular case, it's being used for engagement rather than a lesson learning.
I’m genuinely asking here, but what are you talking about? Controversial in what way?
https://preview.redd.it/1u0qbg4at9ad1.jpeg?width=574&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3aaefac9d261fe68dadd1ed9b67d9ff469199677
That is a fake post from iFunny, I think they were looking for real examples.
https://preview.redd.it/ou3i47t2laad1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fc79bf824bbd42775f444925ca4982a55bb664e9
Sorry - your example is a five year old fake tweet…?
Just look above.. and that was for obvious /s.. 🙄
There's no such thing as "obvious sarcasm" on the internet.
Ah, yeah i'm not on twitter and don't generally follow businesses on some, so that stuff would go over my head
> This rationale is fine until it strikes YOU. no. what makes you think it would be any different? do you think everyone is just hypocritical like that?
Maybe people should grow up an realise a mobile app isn't out to get them?
True. Yet we are all emotional beings and get our feelings hurt somehow/somewhere. If I’d be on Duolingo team - giving an option not to see what ever is triggering, even for minority of customers, would mean only win/win.
It’s a nice idea but do you think it could realistically be implemented? Like even if Duo stuck in a toggle switch for content warning about a burning house image, would you remember to toggle that one after a burnt house situation? Would trying to remember which apps have which toggles perhaps be even more triggering because it forces you to engage repeatedly with the situation?
I’m thinking more of “classic widget” with green owl& strike number or the “creative widgets” with everything else in the package.
I know it’s just a joke and they weren’t targeting me or something. I deleted the widget for now cause I’m obviously not ready to handle jokes about houses burning down. That’s not anyone else’s problem or responsibility. I think last night was just bad and I needed to vent.
Chin-up mate, bad time will pass. You got a great streak btw 👌
I am so sorry for your loss. It is not easy to deal with unexpected triggers across the internet. Trust me, I know from my own experience. You just have to push through it. In the 1.5 years since I lost my husband, it hasn't gotten easy at all. I have just gotten better at pushing away images/triggers or at expecting them. As for the solution, if that is what you were hoping for, it really is to remove the widget for now, since you know to expect this doodle again. I don't think you came in here expecting solutions from people or Duolingo. You just wanted to talk about it. I am sorry so many people here don't get it, or maybe it's a good thing, we don't need more traumatized people on this earth.
Yeah, I removed the widget for now cause while I normally really enjoyed the widget, it’s clearly too much for me right now. I know it’s just a joke and I’m not expecting everyone to cater to my trauma, but I think I just needed to vent last night. It’s just still very fresh. I also was a bit vague when I made the post cause I was tired, but I really don’t expect folks to understand and I realize folks will make jokes and whatnot because it’s Reddit. I mean, I made a memorial post for Duke and someone tried to say we should have done more to save him. From what the fire investigator has found so far, it appears the fridge exploded. My mom has 4 acres and was in the other side of one of the other buildings and was only outside for 10 mins when someone saw the smoke from the road and came running up. She opened the door to try and run in to save Duke and the smoke and heat was already so bad that the guy there (we found out later he was an off duty cop) literally grabbed my mom and held her back. She kept saying “I’ll crawl, I have to find him, he’s scared.” I just still can’t believe how quickly it happened, but there’s an outdoor camera and we can see the time things happened. Edit: sorry, I forgot to add that I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband. I know loss gets easier, but that’s recent enough that it’s still a very fresh wound.
[удалено]
Oh so *that's* why!! Thanks, I need to turn that off too! https://preview.redd.it/c3kxb4rwuaad1.jpeg?width=539&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=195b49f019f73952e9e2216a84aaf6118c657388
Wait, what is that supposed to be? Conjoined twins?
[удалено]
What's that almost-circle at the bottom? Legs? Arms? Wings?
Owls famously has two talons located near the bottom of their body when standing (:
The two yellow things at the bottom left are the talons, I meant the green circle to the right, and the thing that extends out under the second face. I really don't understand what it's supposed to depict.
Your post has been removed for violating our community rules against bullying, trolling, and bigotry, which includes but is not limited to linguistic discrimination, homophobia, transphobia, and xenophobia. Continued violations may result in being muted or banned from this subreddit. Please review our community guidelines to understand the types of conduct that are unacceptable here. Thank you for your understanding.
I'm really sorry to hear that. I hope your mom and everything will be ok soon 🙏
After going through a fire myself, I understand this initial knee-jerk reaction. The day after our fire I was staying with my parents and my mom was making cookies. We were chatting and she innocently sniffed the air, noticing the smell of the cookies, and said “I think something is burning”. I had an absolute falling-down-on-the-ground, sobbing and hyperventilating panic attack. Now, 20 years down the line, someone could say the same thing and it wouldn’t even remind me of our fire. It’s fresh for you. I am really sorry your mom is dealing with the grief of losing everything. It is a very very difficult, stressful, life-changing event. However, it’s just the freshness of the event that is making this painful for you. You surely cannot expect a multinational corporation be able to anticipate that a certain number of their clients might have just had their homes burned down. Give it some time. There will be triggers you see everywhere, but it will get better with time. Hang in there for your mom and I hope she can get the help she needs to rebuild her life. Best of luck to you and especially your poor mom.
Yeah, I don’t expect Duolingo to know our situation and cater to every possible situation. I just deleted the widget for now. It was just the initial shock of it last night that kind of got to me.
I'm just gonna leave you and your Mum a hug from a random internet Grandma. What happened to you all is awful and I'm truly sorry.
How's Duolingo supposed to know every user's story and adapt their widgets accordingly?
I’d be more scared if they did do this tbh
Using advanced AI features obviously
It was more me just being in a bad way last night and needing to vent. It’s not Duo’s fault and they can’t know everyone’s exact situation.
I really don’t know why some people downvoted this comment
Maybe vent somewhere else? This is a pretty entitled post.
Using their advanced intelligence networks
this
Collect all their info from Meta, Google & TikTok lol
[удалено]
Funny bro, funny
This post seems like something you’d see in a British sketch show
Duo showed us he means business
given their social media posts, I’d believe it 😭
Yes bro, yes
[удалено]
Why is bro and the comment under getting downvoted 💀
They can't take a joke? (And they're not even op. "💀")
Not bro, not
Can’t handle lightening up the mood?
Should I have put a /j after my joke?
Oh
That was my reaction too 
I think it's already been said by a lot of people, but I saw something about PTSD a while ago that has helped me with some things. A person with PTSD over experiencing gun violence might be set off by the sounds of fireworks. A person setting off fireworks in their neighborhood might trigger a response. It's a willful act taken by the second person but the goal wasn't to hurt the first person. Hurt still happens though, even if no one did anything wrong. Duolingo didn't do anything wrong with the reference, but the reference still hurt you. You're not wrong to feel hurt or to be reminded of the trauma. I'm sorry for the loss of your mom's home and friend. I hope you and her will be okay
hurry up and extend your streak!
Sorry that happened to your mom, But, 1.6k almost congrats! I thought my 124 days was impressive.
I'm sorry for your Mom, hope she's okay. Clearly Duolingo can't know this. It's just a really bad coincidence since it's supposed to be an old meme.
That’s what he wants you to think so he can get away with it. Hiding in plain sight
God, accidental triggering is the worst. Hope everything will be ok and you and your family will recover
Should have done your lessons
Fr
My now-husband's house burnt down last year. He lost everything including his car and we were making fun of it within the week. It's okay to feel hurt. My heart still breaks thinking about everything he lost, but we have never let stuff like this get to us. It's okay to feel your feelings, but don't let them rule you. It's an app. Brush it off and move on. And I'm sorry for the loss your family experienced. I truly do understand.
I'm so sorry for your mom's (and I'm guessing your too) loss. That's just beyond horrible.
So sorry to hear. Nice streak, by the way.
Sending my love. May her dog rest in peace <3
[удалено]
God has a sense of humor huh?
Bruh how is the app meant to know this? Like what do you expect it to have a detailed list of everything going on in your life?
Pretty sure OP just wanted to vent and doesn’t actually expect duolingo to change their app icon just for them
I really was more venting. I know they can’t know and I don’t expect everyone to suddenly cater to me, I think just seeing this when I was tired just messed with me a bit.
Better post it to reddit and see it more times.
This was my first thought as well. I’m not trying to be in the trauma Olympics but my family’s house burnt down a week before Christmas and then my mother’s house burnt down almost 2 months to the day after. Seeing this widget posted several times in the past week and I didn’t even think about mine and my mother’s house fires. Losing everything in a fire is a very traumatic experience but this shouldn’t upset anyone enough to post about it online
I’m sorry for your loss. I think if her dog had made it, I’d be doing a lot better. My dad died suddenly when I was a kid and losing stuff related to him sucks, but I just loved that dog so much and I’d trade all of it if he could have been ok. It’s not Duo’s fault and I don’t expect them to change for me and removing the widget was obviously the easy solution, but I think last night I just needed to vent.
Im sorry for your loss as well and you know what, I really respect that. Coming back on this thread to say that after so many disagreed with you says a lot about you. I completely understand how hard it can be. My kids and I lost everything but the clothes on our back and I don’t know what we would have done without the help of our community pulling together to make sure we had everything we needed. All that to say, you’re allowed to have emotional days after trauma. I hope time will help you and your mother heal.
He lost his fucking dog in the fire. Not just inanimate objects. The dog being lost is what I & maybe OP really care about
Well I suggest maybe staying offline, don’t watch a tv show or even the news because that could be triggering. I have empathy and compassion for A LOT of things but getting upset over a widget that is meant to be a play on a famous meme and then posting online is a bit much to me 🤦🏽♀️
I'm really sorry and I know just what you are going through. I went through the same thing a few months ago and I'm still recovering. Over time, things will be easier. Give your mom a big hug 🫂 I'm sure she could use one.
Is Duo behind all of this? (I am sorry, I had to ask it)
Maybe next time your mom will remember to keep her streak going! Sorry to hear about the fire, hope your mom and family are doing ok!
I’m so sorry.
Are you asking for Duolingo to remove the image or are you just venting
Just venting. He turned off widgets
Just venting, I know logically they are just making a joke and I’m being overly sensitive because this just happened.
It's just bad luck that you got that one while still having a fresh wound. Does your family at least have a temporary home until it resolves?
I think they are just venting, there's nothing indicating OP is mad at the app itself.
I'm so very sorry. 🤍🤍 It sounds like the shock is still very fresh. Please be gentle with yourself.
I'm sorry for your mom's loss but what exactly do you want Duo to do? They can't know what's happening in everyone's life and it's a famous meme.
I was just venting, I know they are just making a joke, but I think seeing that right before bed was just a bit shocking. There’s no way they can know and I know I can’t expect everyone to suddenly stop that meme, that’s beyond unreasonable; world doesn’t revolve around my trauma.
I think it’s not a good meme anyway.
This is kind of a “womp womp” scenario for OP. Duo doesn’t know nor cares
Ew. Gen alpha immaturity.
🫶
Not funny duolingo bird 😒
Yeah after having duos bullshit after a death in the family I canceled my super subscription and switched to Babel. I'd stopped learning by that point anyway cause this app is just concerned about your screentime on the app and no actual progress.
I mean… you can’t exactly progress if you don’t open the app and use it.
If we must have devices that listen to us 24/7, they can at least listen for clues that someone’s house just burned down - and then not allow apps to threaten to burn down their houses.
Bro thinks duo is actually spying on our every move & companies have active stalkers to stalk their users. All companies can collect is login info, user data, & whatever any other firm sells them
Super happy here 😊 that my little joke flew so high and hard above your head. Made my day 😊
it's a well-known meme 🙂
Sorry for your loss. But I think the meme is okay.
OP, I’m so sorry. That’s a fucked up coincidence. Also, I don’t care what people are saying here—this is not funny, and that *is* insensitive. Duo shouldn’t go as far as (passive)aggressively threatening his users for potentially losing their game streak. Are you going to report it? You could share this Reddit post in your report ticket. Let us know if you want extra help. I hope your Mom is okay. And I hope you’re getting help… Fires are extremely traumatic. Make sure you don’t rush your healing. RIP your Mom’s dog ♥
Sorry that happened to you but unfortunately our triggers are for us to deal with.
I'd file a complaint with them. Judging from other comments here, you're not the only one that really doesn't like seeing this.
It's just a Duolinguo reminder Please don't fall apart
I need to keep my streak more carefully
i think duo might’ve been involved😱😳😭🙏
That's because Duo knows everything
If they tried to avoid every trigger for everyone they wouldn't be able to do anything humorous. As someone with past childhood trauma I find the weirdest things intensely triggering, such as being a passenger in a car, but I don't expect the whole world to avoid talking about taxis or whatever.
[удалено]
I think you are right. The more aggressive widget animations are probably fun for a lot of people, but the team must know that this frightens/upsets some users. I'm really sorry about your mom's house.
Just don't use the widget? Problem solved.
They don't have to use the widget.
[удалено]
Widgets are indeed optional. OP already said somewhere that he turned it off. The post is just his initial reaction
You recognize that you're not handling it well, and that's a good thing. Recognizing that will help you overcome it eventually. While I understand this is a horrible time for your mom, I do find it difficult to understand why this is causing you so much distress. I might have missed the fact that you were in the house when the fire happened. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It must have been really traumatizing.
It is very insensitive for Duo to have that meme. You should let them know. So sorry this happened to your family. 💐
You had to be better...
Whoooo says if yooooou needed or nooooot?