I'm not sure I'd be the biggest fan of any friend that *eavesdropped on my therapy session*. Even if your walls were paper thin, a GOOD friend would put on headphones, run an errand, do something noisy in the kitchen/laundry, etc. I'd start with that, though it might be hard to say that neutrally as possible.
That was my first response. My fiancee (who lives with us) told me that they didn't realize it was therapy and thought I was chatting with a friend? And then that it's natural to be curious and I would've done the same (I was in their room the previous day to chat with them and saw their therapy notes and IMMEDIATELY looked as far away as possible, even though I'm sure I'm in the notes). Not cool that they eavesdropped, and I've decided to discontinue therapy as a result-- I already didn't love doing it, and now it's blown up my life and feels entirely unsafe.
I’ve had the same feelings about therapy - I’m not currently doing it, but I struggle and I wonder if it would help. I love wfh and I’m glad that telehealth options are available but I also worry about having a place to have those conversations. I can totally relate to your aversion now after this incident - and you alone know the ratio of value of risk/cost/and ultimately whether it’s worth it for you or not to continue. I just wanted to brainstorm a few alternatives to quitting just in case they are helpful!
In a car, in a random parking lot. Ideally - a nice solo hike into the woods where you know you won’t run into anyone (a little nature therapy in itself!)! Scheduling appointments when you know your housemates are at work.
But to address your roommate I would just be as honest as you were here that it was a therapy session, you were asked to vent, and you vented. And then kindly as you can, tell them to their face why their actions make you feel so frustrated. Best case scenario they simply are so involved in their own mental woes that they didn’t realize how it was making you feel. Worst case you guys don’t see eye to eye and you need to consider moving out and cutting ties. All of these scenarios are doable and require some effort but you will make it through op.
My condolences to you as well, my dad’s death anniversary of 2 years was last month and this week would have been his 74th birthday and I’m a fucking mess. I wish you all of the good energy as you navigate this stuff. ❤️🌻
Honestly, the whole conversation was me apologizing for feeling that I think are valid, and them telling me it was "violent" that I expressed how I felt in a private conversation. I don't ever ever ever want to do therapy again. I've had a lot of really bad therapy experiences and I was back in it because they had asked me to, as a concerned friend. Now that it's "violent" to be honest in therapy, I can't imagine moving past the feeling of judgement and surveillance, and I just don't feel safe. It doesn't matter where, now. I feel judgement about what I say in what's supposed to be a private space and it's just not going to feel safe again.
I'm so sorry about your dad. I hope his birthday passes as easily as it can, and you're able to celebrate him. Nobody understands what it's like to experience such profound loss until they're there, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
It feels unsafe because you’re not used to it. In fact, standing your ground and settings boundaries is definitely what you need. Maybe find a new therapist or different type of therapy. Don’t stop working on yourself because someone else is being an ass
I've been in therapy for 11 years now and have had bad experience after bad experience. It was already quite sour, through no fault of this (new to me) therapist, and now I just feel like being told I am hostile and horrible is gonna stick with me :( idk :(
Hey there - this sounds hard.
You didn’t mean for them to hear what you were saying to your therapist. Their hurt feelings are valid, but that wasn’t your intention.
In terms of getting your frustrations out and being honest with them, it may be really difficult in the moment, but it will help you in the long term very much. Think of this conversation as an investment in your long term happiness.
Another plus is every time you have one of these shitty “feelings” conversations, you get better at it. So the next time you have to do it, it will be a little easier. It’s like you’re going into a really difficult workout that will make you so much stronger in the end.
Setting boundaries is hard, but necessary! You got this!
This is so, so kind. Thank you. You're right, making it through a scary conversation without the world catching on fire will probably improve my distress tolerance overall, and all subsequent confrontations may be a bit easier. You're also right that this is gonna be a shitty 2 hours and hopefully will lead to a more comfortable life afterwards.
It sucks. It sucks so bad. I didn't want to hurt them like this, and I'm selfishly glad they know how shitty I've been feeling. But we'll all probably be better off after this terrible conversation. Thank you for this perspective. I hate it. It's gonna be okay.
Echoing some of the folks here: she brought that on herself. She should not have been listening. But now it’s out and you can talk about it. But I say this because I hope you do not approach this with any apologies. You did nothing wrong and your feelings are valid. You said in a comment of yours that you go out of your way NOT to intrude on her the way she intruded on you. Do not forget that.
woof. this is gonna suck. i’m glad you’re smoking a bit before to help relax you going into it.
for me with hard conversations, i like to write things down beforehand. it’s not so much giving myself a script as it it making sure i know everything i want to discuss because i forget things when i get upset/anxious.
i’m sure it was hard for them to hear about your frustrations through listening to your conversation with your therapist but honestly that conversation was none of their business and while they’re entitled to their feelings, causing problems based on something they shouldn’t have been listening to is unreasonable. you’re also entitled to your feelings and deserve better than a one-sided friendship.
i hope this conversation goes well, better than you expect. i’m proud of you, confronting friends is hard.
Thank you so, so much. "while they’re entitled to their feelings, causing problems based on something they shouldn’t have been listening to is unreasonable" feels like the thesis statement for me here. Like all of that stuff is how I feel, and if they had given me the chance to communicate it in a kinder way, I would've, but I wasn't saying it for them to hear and it's unfair that they intruded on my therapy space and are upset I didn't package my upset better for them. They can have feelings about me being mad at them, but they can't be hurt at the way I expressed being mad at them in a closed therapeutic environment where they weren't supposed to be eavesdropping.
POST CONVERSATION UPDATE: my roommate is very, very stuck on the anger in my voice with what they overheard from my therapy appt, and it doesn't matter to them that it was therapy, they cannot see a friendship with me knowing how much anger I hold.
I apologized a lot for them overhearing (not for having a feeling in a private therapy session, tho!!! It's not like I'm gossiping to friends!), I apologized for treating them with frustration in our home. I tried to discuss the ways their behavior hurts me, why I would be discussing them in therapy in preparation for a real conversation between us but that was shut down.
As it stands, they said we aren't friends anymore, they'll try to cohabit with me peacefully, and if I wanted to break the lease and leave early, they'd support that.
I feel like a wrung out washcloth.
I didn't consent to the only part of the conversation that seems to matter for them. The part of this situation that was a total breach of my privacy is the most relevant piece, the highest evidence.
I don't know I'd want this friendship anymore. I'm so tired. I'm so depressed.
I just saw all of this and it sounds like this person is super duper toxic and manipulative. You have done nothing wrong, but they’re never going to admit it. I’m so sorry you live with this person, but if it helps, I don’t think you lost a friend .. you have to *be* a friend to *have* a friend. You have been a friend and you deserve one in turn!
Idk, I’m glad you have your fiancé there but is there any way yall can kick her out? Find someone less 🍌s?
Regardless, sending healing vibes!
They're staying in the apartment for a year after I leave, so I can't kick them out. They kept saying I was manipulative for being hurt by them listening to my therapy appointment. But you're right, that's not fucking friendship. If hearing my honest feelings is something we can't move past, we're not really friends anyway.
I try so hard to be kind and empathetic and caring and loving and therapy was an hour where I got out the anger I carry from trying to be so good. It's awful that an hour that was supposed to be private outweighs three years of face to face action, but like, what the fuck am I supposed to do? I'm not sorry for having private feelings.
This "friend" doesn't sound like a friend. Their behavior and their unwillingness to listen is not good friendship. I agree with other commenters, they DO sound toxic and I'm also getting narcissist vibes if all they ever want to talk about is themselves. They have no interest in seeing the situation from your perspective, and it sounds like they just want you around as a punching bag for their feelings. This isn't healthy, and you deserve so much better.
I'm sorry it's been anxiety inducing and stressful, and must also be so hurtful to be treated this way, and not heard at all. I hope you're able to move forward eventually seeing that you're better off without this person in your life.
To reiterate: you have nothing to apologize for. Not your tone, not them overhearing your feelings, not the way they found out how you feel (that's on them). And from the sounds of it all they want to do is make you feel less than. The fact that they couldn't realize they were being a bad friend way before it got to this point would indicate to me that they just didn't really care.
Out of curiosity, how has your fiancee felt, about how they've treated you, how they handled the conversation, etc? Sounds like all 3 of you share a living space, and I'm sure there's a desire to keep the peace, but I hope you also feel supported.❤️
Wanted to come back to this-- originally my fiancee felt (to me) like she sided with our roommate, though she was silent during the discussion/altercation/reading me to filth without letting me speak. We had a discussion a day later and she clarified that I'm in the right 100% and she'll stand by me, even though this whole thing is awkward and hard and painful.
I wish I could revoke my apologies. I'm not sorry. I'm a hard person to love but I love really hard, and I deserve the same amount of care and intention and grace as I give everyone around me. I'm not sorry for privately processing difficult feelings, and it is manipulative as fuck to have told me my private therapy venting was violent. Thank you for your kindness, it helped me realize all this toxicity.
Anyway now they want me to be out of the house this summer and like NOPE. I pay rent! I live here!
> “They kept saying I was manipulative for being hurt by them listening to my therapy appointment.”
so… YOU are “being manipulative” … by being **justifiably angry** … that THEY did something horrible?!?
# 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
I'm sorry your friendship broke this way, sorry for your discomfort & distress — but holy moly, with “friends” like this, who needs enemies?
You deserve better. They're a user and THEY need therapy!
You've now wrung out the emotional burden you'd absorbed. Enjoy that weightlessness and be super selective about anything else you take on.
It's unfortunate things didn't end in a better way, but it doesn't sound like it ever actually would've improved. If she's unwilling to even discuss any aspect besides *how* you said it (including her violation of your privacy), she doesn't care to change her actions, she's just upset you're no longer her emotional support animal.
You deserve freedom from this relationship with this alleged "friend". Frankly they sound like a black hole of a person, eager to absorb your time, light, and energy while giving nothing back.
Take your time. Spend time by yourself. Keep at the therapy and maybe this nosey mf will learn another valuable lesson. Center your thoughts and feelings and quit giving the friend the time of day.
If they won't honor you then honor yourself and completely decenter them from your life.
sometimes the trash takes itself out mama.
but seriously, this person was draining your energy daily. this situation is now very uncomfortable but it will not last forever. you have the opportunity before you to actually focus in yourself now. my mama always tells me the best "revenge" is a life well lived.
your roommate sounds very immature. emotionally healthy adults can understand and work through being angry at each other. it might be for the best that you're having space apart.
find something that feels good and do it. it sounds like you've been shoving yourself to the side
for others for awhile.
You don't actually have to have this conversation at all.
You don't have to clarify anything you said about her to your therapist. That was a private conversation she has no right to confront you about.
Therapy isn't the problem here. Your roommate is.
This 👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻you don't have to do anything you don't consent to in situations like these. If she has a problem it sounds like she should figure out a solution to her problem 🤷♀️
i am so sorry you are going through this. but the conversation needs to be had and i guarantee you will feel better once it is over and done with. at least things will all be out in the open. this is a chance to clear the air, even though the circumstances are fraught with hurt all around.
however, the bottom line is your friend eavesdropped on your conversation. the problem with eavesdropping, which i consider a form of snooping, is that when you go down that road you often find out things you don’t want to know. and that you wouldn’t have known had you not intruded into someone else’s privacy.
i had a similar experience when my hex husband read my diaries. for me, his hurt over what he read was less important to me then the violation i felt for him having intruded into my private thoughts which is basically what your friend did.
i understand their hurt feelings but to me that’s on them. you feel badly that their feelings got hurt but that is kind of their fault. they should be embarrassed for listening but it doesn’t sound like they are. it sounds like they are laying the blame on you which really isn’t fair. i would very nicely let them know that they shouldn’t have listened and it feels like a violation to you.
i hope things work out and you can feel like you are in a safe place again. i hope your friendship can survive this. best of luck 💜
I'm smelling gaslighting. She wanted you to get therapy because she didn't want to listen to your issues so she pushed you to tell them to someone else and then didn't like that one of the issues you have to work through is how your friend doesn't listen to you.
This is SO apt. Their issue here is that they can't control my feelings, and that's manipulative AF. Saying me having a feeling privately is violent is gaslighting. Thank you.
Highly encourage what the therapist says. Let it all out. I spent years of my life waiting for the right moment to tell people stuff. It never comes. You just feel empty and unheard. Once I started hashing stuff out asap, I started finding my problems get resolved so much faster.
Let this be a lesson in not holding things in anymore.
The friendship still may have eventually ended bc she is a shitty, dramatic person who eavesdrops on medical appointments.
But next time feelings start to creep up in relationships, voice your concerns immediately. Good friends will lay off when you tell them they’re dumping on you too much and you can’t handle it.
I'm so sorry this happened 😭 it sounds so awkward on top of already being painful. Conflicts are bound to haappen with the people we love and handling them together is a way to strengthen your bond. I know in my house, you wouldn't have to try to listen in on someone to be listening in on someone - just being in a hallway or adjacent room would be enough. Good luck/hope it went well ❤️ and cute bowl!!
I'm not sure I'd be the biggest fan of any friend that *eavesdropped on my therapy session*. Even if your walls were paper thin, a GOOD friend would put on headphones, run an errand, do something noisy in the kitchen/laundry, etc. I'd start with that, though it might be hard to say that neutrally as possible.
That was my first response. My fiancee (who lives with us) told me that they didn't realize it was therapy and thought I was chatting with a friend? And then that it's natural to be curious and I would've done the same (I was in their room the previous day to chat with them and saw their therapy notes and IMMEDIATELY looked as far away as possible, even though I'm sure I'm in the notes). Not cool that they eavesdropped, and I've decided to discontinue therapy as a result-- I already didn't love doing it, and now it's blown up my life and feels entirely unsafe.
I’ve had the same feelings about therapy - I’m not currently doing it, but I struggle and I wonder if it would help. I love wfh and I’m glad that telehealth options are available but I also worry about having a place to have those conversations. I can totally relate to your aversion now after this incident - and you alone know the ratio of value of risk/cost/and ultimately whether it’s worth it for you or not to continue. I just wanted to brainstorm a few alternatives to quitting just in case they are helpful! In a car, in a random parking lot. Ideally - a nice solo hike into the woods where you know you won’t run into anyone (a little nature therapy in itself!)! Scheduling appointments when you know your housemates are at work. But to address your roommate I would just be as honest as you were here that it was a therapy session, you were asked to vent, and you vented. And then kindly as you can, tell them to their face why their actions make you feel so frustrated. Best case scenario they simply are so involved in their own mental woes that they didn’t realize how it was making you feel. Worst case you guys don’t see eye to eye and you need to consider moving out and cutting ties. All of these scenarios are doable and require some effort but you will make it through op. My condolences to you as well, my dad’s death anniversary of 2 years was last month and this week would have been his 74th birthday and I’m a fucking mess. I wish you all of the good energy as you navigate this stuff. ❤️🌻
Honestly, the whole conversation was me apologizing for feeling that I think are valid, and them telling me it was "violent" that I expressed how I felt in a private conversation. I don't ever ever ever want to do therapy again. I've had a lot of really bad therapy experiences and I was back in it because they had asked me to, as a concerned friend. Now that it's "violent" to be honest in therapy, I can't imagine moving past the feeling of judgement and surveillance, and I just don't feel safe. It doesn't matter where, now. I feel judgement about what I say in what's supposed to be a private space and it's just not going to feel safe again. I'm so sorry about your dad. I hope his birthday passes as easily as it can, and you're able to celebrate him. Nobody understands what it's like to experience such profound loss until they're there, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
It feels unsafe because you’re not used to it. In fact, standing your ground and settings boundaries is definitely what you need. Maybe find a new therapist or different type of therapy. Don’t stop working on yourself because someone else is being an ass
I've been in therapy for 11 years now and have had bad experience after bad experience. It was already quite sour, through no fault of this (new to me) therapist, and now I just feel like being told I am hostile and horrible is gonna stick with me :( idk :(
Yeah this is a massive invasion of your privacy.
Hey there - this sounds hard. You didn’t mean for them to hear what you were saying to your therapist. Their hurt feelings are valid, but that wasn’t your intention. In terms of getting your frustrations out and being honest with them, it may be really difficult in the moment, but it will help you in the long term very much. Think of this conversation as an investment in your long term happiness. Another plus is every time you have one of these shitty “feelings” conversations, you get better at it. So the next time you have to do it, it will be a little easier. It’s like you’re going into a really difficult workout that will make you so much stronger in the end. Setting boundaries is hard, but necessary! You got this!
This is so, so kind. Thank you. You're right, making it through a scary conversation without the world catching on fire will probably improve my distress tolerance overall, and all subsequent confrontations may be a bit easier. You're also right that this is gonna be a shitty 2 hours and hopefully will lead to a more comfortable life afterwards. It sucks. It sucks so bad. I didn't want to hurt them like this, and I'm selfishly glad they know how shitty I've been feeling. But we'll all probably be better off after this terrible conversation. Thank you for this perspective. I hate it. It's gonna be okay.
Echoing some of the folks here: she brought that on herself. She should not have been listening. But now it’s out and you can talk about it. But I say this because I hope you do not approach this with any apologies. You did nothing wrong and your feelings are valid. You said in a comment of yours that you go out of your way NOT to intrude on her the way she intruded on you. Do not forget that.
woof. this is gonna suck. i’m glad you’re smoking a bit before to help relax you going into it. for me with hard conversations, i like to write things down beforehand. it’s not so much giving myself a script as it it making sure i know everything i want to discuss because i forget things when i get upset/anxious. i’m sure it was hard for them to hear about your frustrations through listening to your conversation with your therapist but honestly that conversation was none of their business and while they’re entitled to their feelings, causing problems based on something they shouldn’t have been listening to is unreasonable. you’re also entitled to your feelings and deserve better than a one-sided friendship. i hope this conversation goes well, better than you expect. i’m proud of you, confronting friends is hard.
Thank you so, so much. "while they’re entitled to their feelings, causing problems based on something they shouldn’t have been listening to is unreasonable" feels like the thesis statement for me here. Like all of that stuff is how I feel, and if they had given me the chance to communicate it in a kinder way, I would've, but I wasn't saying it for them to hear and it's unfair that they intruded on my therapy space and are upset I didn't package my upset better for them. They can have feelings about me being mad at them, but they can't be hurt at the way I expressed being mad at them in a closed therapeutic environment where they weren't supposed to be eavesdropping.
POST CONVERSATION UPDATE: my roommate is very, very stuck on the anger in my voice with what they overheard from my therapy appt, and it doesn't matter to them that it was therapy, they cannot see a friendship with me knowing how much anger I hold. I apologized a lot for them overhearing (not for having a feeling in a private therapy session, tho!!! It's not like I'm gossiping to friends!), I apologized for treating them with frustration in our home. I tried to discuss the ways their behavior hurts me, why I would be discussing them in therapy in preparation for a real conversation between us but that was shut down. As it stands, they said we aren't friends anymore, they'll try to cohabit with me peacefully, and if I wanted to break the lease and leave early, they'd support that. I feel like a wrung out washcloth. I didn't consent to the only part of the conversation that seems to matter for them. The part of this situation that was a total breach of my privacy is the most relevant piece, the highest evidence. I don't know I'd want this friendship anymore. I'm so tired. I'm so depressed.
I just saw all of this and it sounds like this person is super duper toxic and manipulative. You have done nothing wrong, but they’re never going to admit it. I’m so sorry you live with this person, but if it helps, I don’t think you lost a friend .. you have to *be* a friend to *have* a friend. You have been a friend and you deserve one in turn! Idk, I’m glad you have your fiancé there but is there any way yall can kick her out? Find someone less 🍌s? Regardless, sending healing vibes!
They're staying in the apartment for a year after I leave, so I can't kick them out. They kept saying I was manipulative for being hurt by them listening to my therapy appointment. But you're right, that's not fucking friendship. If hearing my honest feelings is something we can't move past, we're not really friends anyway. I try so hard to be kind and empathetic and caring and loving and therapy was an hour where I got out the anger I carry from trying to be so good. It's awful that an hour that was supposed to be private outweighs three years of face to face action, but like, what the fuck am I supposed to do? I'm not sorry for having private feelings.
This "friend" doesn't sound like a friend. Their behavior and their unwillingness to listen is not good friendship. I agree with other commenters, they DO sound toxic and I'm also getting narcissist vibes if all they ever want to talk about is themselves. They have no interest in seeing the situation from your perspective, and it sounds like they just want you around as a punching bag for their feelings. This isn't healthy, and you deserve so much better. I'm sorry it's been anxiety inducing and stressful, and must also be so hurtful to be treated this way, and not heard at all. I hope you're able to move forward eventually seeing that you're better off without this person in your life. To reiterate: you have nothing to apologize for. Not your tone, not them overhearing your feelings, not the way they found out how you feel (that's on them). And from the sounds of it all they want to do is make you feel less than. The fact that they couldn't realize they were being a bad friend way before it got to this point would indicate to me that they just didn't really care. Out of curiosity, how has your fiancee felt, about how they've treated you, how they handled the conversation, etc? Sounds like all 3 of you share a living space, and I'm sure there's a desire to keep the peace, but I hope you also feel supported.❤️
Wanted to come back to this-- originally my fiancee felt (to me) like she sided with our roommate, though she was silent during the discussion/altercation/reading me to filth without letting me speak. We had a discussion a day later and she clarified that I'm in the right 100% and she'll stand by me, even though this whole thing is awkward and hard and painful. I wish I could revoke my apologies. I'm not sorry. I'm a hard person to love but I love really hard, and I deserve the same amount of care and intention and grace as I give everyone around me. I'm not sorry for privately processing difficult feelings, and it is manipulative as fuck to have told me my private therapy venting was violent. Thank you for your kindness, it helped me realize all this toxicity. Anyway now they want me to be out of the house this summer and like NOPE. I pay rent! I live here!
> “They kept saying I was manipulative for being hurt by them listening to my therapy appointment.” so… YOU are “being manipulative” … by being **justifiably angry** … that THEY did something horrible?!? # 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ I'm sorry your friendship broke this way, sorry for your discomfort & distress — but holy moly, with “friends” like this, who needs enemies? You deserve better. They're a user and THEY need therapy!
You've now wrung out the emotional burden you'd absorbed. Enjoy that weightlessness and be super selective about anything else you take on. It's unfortunate things didn't end in a better way, but it doesn't sound like it ever actually would've improved. If she's unwilling to even discuss any aspect besides *how* you said it (including her violation of your privacy), she doesn't care to change her actions, she's just upset you're no longer her emotional support animal.
You deserve freedom from this relationship with this alleged "friend". Frankly they sound like a black hole of a person, eager to absorb your time, light, and energy while giving nothing back. Take your time. Spend time by yourself. Keep at the therapy and maybe this nosey mf will learn another valuable lesson. Center your thoughts and feelings and quit giving the friend the time of day. If they won't honor you then honor yourself and completely decenter them from your life.
sometimes the trash takes itself out mama. but seriously, this person was draining your energy daily. this situation is now very uncomfortable but it will not last forever. you have the opportunity before you to actually focus in yourself now. my mama always tells me the best "revenge" is a life well lived. your roommate sounds very immature. emotionally healthy adults can understand and work through being angry at each other. it might be for the best that you're having space apart. find something that feels good and do it. it sounds like you've been shoving yourself to the side for others for awhile.
You don't actually have to have this conversation at all. You don't have to clarify anything you said about her to your therapist. That was a private conversation she has no right to confront you about. Therapy isn't the problem here. Your roommate is.
This 👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻you don't have to do anything you don't consent to in situations like these. If she has a problem it sounds like she should figure out a solution to her problem 🤷♀️
i am so sorry you are going through this. but the conversation needs to be had and i guarantee you will feel better once it is over and done with. at least things will all be out in the open. this is a chance to clear the air, even though the circumstances are fraught with hurt all around. however, the bottom line is your friend eavesdropped on your conversation. the problem with eavesdropping, which i consider a form of snooping, is that when you go down that road you often find out things you don’t want to know. and that you wouldn’t have known had you not intruded into someone else’s privacy. i had a similar experience when my hex husband read my diaries. for me, his hurt over what he read was less important to me then the violation i felt for him having intruded into my private thoughts which is basically what your friend did. i understand their hurt feelings but to me that’s on them. you feel badly that their feelings got hurt but that is kind of their fault. they should be embarrassed for listening but it doesn’t sound like they are. it sounds like they are laying the blame on you which really isn’t fair. i would very nicely let them know that they shouldn’t have listened and it feels like a violation to you. i hope things work out and you can feel like you are in a safe place again. i hope your friendship can survive this. best of luck 💜
I'm smelling gaslighting. She wanted you to get therapy because she didn't want to listen to your issues so she pushed you to tell them to someone else and then didn't like that one of the issues you have to work through is how your friend doesn't listen to you.
This is SO apt. Their issue here is that they can't control my feelings, and that's manipulative AF. Saying me having a feeling privately is violent is gaslighting. Thank you.
oooh THIS. ↖️⬆️↗️ This is the nugget I was feeling but couldn't articulate.
Highly encourage what the therapist says. Let it all out. I spent years of my life waiting for the right moment to tell people stuff. It never comes. You just feel empty and unheard. Once I started hashing stuff out asap, I started finding my problems get resolved so much faster.
Let this be a lesson in not holding things in anymore. The friendship still may have eventually ended bc she is a shitty, dramatic person who eavesdrops on medical appointments. But next time feelings start to creep up in relationships, voice your concerns immediately. Good friends will lay off when you tell them they’re dumping on you too much and you can’t handle it.
That’s a really shitty thing for a so called friend to do. I’m sorry OP, I hope it goes well! ☺️
I'm so sorry this happened 😭 it sounds so awkward on top of already being painful. Conflicts are bound to haappen with the people we love and handling them together is a way to strengthen your bond. I know in my house, you wouldn't have to try to listen in on someone to be listening in on someone - just being in a hallway or adjacent room would be enough. Good luck/hope it went well ❤️ and cute bowl!!