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unused_candles

And now they're contaminated with whatever is on your counter. Throw them out.


YeGingerCommodore

It's OK, they're on a single use, hermetically sealed piece of paper. I'm a little concerned that I exposed them to completely natural light though, that stuff is filthy.


Fun-Lobster-7672

You don't have single use granite countertops? Amateur. I do a complete kitchen remodel after every shot to remove variables.


YeGingerCommodore

I don't have the time for new metamorphic rock to form between shots, unfortunately. I have to work on an old-growth sequoia timescale.


King_Spamula

But is your paper made from tracable, cruelty free, rainforest alliance-certified, single origin trees?


YeGingerCommodore

Fuck no it's cruel as hell.


King_Spamula

noooo :'o


XavvenFayne

I can be pro-environment sometimes too but my recent experiments have shown that my shots pull better in direct proportion to how many species were displaced by the papers' manufacture. If you want to make an omelet you have to break some eggs. 🤷‍♂️


Dismal_Discipline_76

you have exposed the left half to light, don't jump to conclusions!


HotChoc64

The counter is also contaminated with inferior beans. Destroy immediately


Large-Bag-6256

The media needs to hear about this


Incipiente

if you look closely you'll see many are also cracked


e_pilot

You ground them too coarse for one


YeGingerCommodore

They're on the table, not the ground, silly


Dismal_Discipline_76

you have light on the left half case closed 🕵️


mrnude778

Biracial beans ❤️


notorious_orange

I think you should email the farmers and give them a know-how on coffee production. Also, for sure sue the roaster too.


winrarsalesman

Ah yes. The Harvey Dent blend.


Safeword-is-banana

You should improve your photoshopping, remove the shade on the right background.


skylinegtrr32

Nah you have to throw them out. One half has entered the shadow realm and they cannot be brought back to the light sadly :(


CaveManta

They're not vacuum sealed at absolute zero. You're never going to get crema with those stale, old beans.


BentonD_Struckcheon

The left is sinister, so it being lighter than the right is absolutely against gawd & naitchah. I'd sue.


jamestom44

The left side just need to go in the oven to even them out.


TiggySmitts

It’s called a blend you plebeian


mattc2x4

This is what the counter of a poor person who didn’t have a precessional interior designer and a lighting engineer work together in the design. The home of a person who probably only has a la morzacca instead of a bespoke.


DPGF81

I think that’s discrimination


Shittyusernameguy

I love this sub so much.


thelauryngotham

*turns off your light* NOW IT'S STARBUCKS!!!!


Rothsteh

Soak them all in the grinder and they will be fine(s).


adampiezano

Third wave coffee roaster hate this one trick.


South_Highlight_6574

Your supposed to shake the bag first


Professional_Fly8241

It's an infringement on your constitutional rights! It's outrageous, egregious, preposterous. I'd call Jackie Chiles if I were you.


XDXkenlee

New blend just dropped


JbJbJb44

Fine grinder


Phlowerboi

Is that not just being in a shadow?


YeGingerCommodore

No they're roasted wrong. The ones on the right are darker than the ones on the left. Happens every time I pour them.


Bluegill15

nice


FasterAppleCore

😂😂😂😂


Dismal_Discipline_76

you've got light on the left half and shadow on the right silly!


YeGingerCommodore

No you can clearly see that they're roasted wrong by the way they is.


Dismal_Discipline_76

I am positive it is the light and shadow. 🕵️


YeGingerCommodore

Yes the lighter beans are on the left and the darker beans are on the right. This is often caused by roasters using drums that turn clockwise above the equator, or counterclockwise below it. I'll be pursuing legal action.


Dismal_Discipline_76

what if they say "bean there, done that, bought the t-shirt" and the t-shirt says 'NOT LIABLE'