Yeah, like most of the time when people ask how you are, its not the type where a close friend is concerned (which i appreciate), its just the superficial one where they get freaked out if you say anything else than "no im fine" so it feels annoying and unnecessary.
My resting face is apparently extremely arrogant. Many times coworkers eventually told me, 'I thought you were really stuck up when I met you, but you're actually a goofy weirdo.'
Why thank you. I think.
I used to think this too about me... but I've kinda reframed it in my mind since...
Cuz something NTs do a lot... lots of them are insecure... and when they encounter a blank expression, they start projecting their fears. Like if they're calling you arrogant, they're afraid that they're being seen as arrogant, or they fear that they are (sometimes both). Or, they're afraid that you're arrogant and so they see it.
I noticed this as a child and would force myself to smile, even if it was fake as hell, cuz it would put people's minds to rest. Anytime I didn't "put on" some sort of expression, they'd always seem to think the worst and project that onto me.
Then I saw them do exactly this with completely inanimate humanoid objects (and sometimes non-humanoid ones). Watch people interact with androids, even primitive ones and especially primitive ones in fact.
It's (IMHO) why they so often see them as "evil". Um... they're not alive.
It also seems (to me) to be a big part of why people freak the hell out on acid and shrooms... cuz they start projecting that shit everywhere.
Maybe you're just a blank canvas, or a mirror?
this happens to me always . I think its sort of funny but id actually appreciate it if they sat down with me in silence instead of giving me puppy eye bullshit then walking away to go talk to their friends
Me intensely thinking about some cute happy scene in a story I’m planning and am obsessed with.
“What’re you mad about?”
“Nothing.”
“Oh come on, you can talk about it.”
“I’m not mad though.” Well I am because it’s always the exact same fucking people who have yet to realize I’m never mad when I look mad.
Cue back and forth until I eventually snap and tell them I wasn’t mad until they started harassing me over nothing instead of actually listening to me repeatedly telling them that I’m not mad and want to be left alone. I’d probably told them multiple times what I was thinking about in a naive attempt to get them to stop by the time I get really pissed off, but they never believe me.
(This is a weekly occurrence with the same 4 people)
Lemme put one small yellow flag up for you
People said this about me for my whole teenage years and I never understood why, I felt perfectly fine- but as an adult, turns out I was going through a long dissociative phase due to being trans/autistic/adhd and not knowing it, so I was basically blocking out all of reality without realizing it in order to cope
Just sayin'- I believe you totally, but also, do a quick check. Have you been feeling isolated or separated from things that you think you should feel close to? Got a bit of a 'dim' or 'greyish' filter on your world? Richer inner life than outer? Those are big signs you might be dealing with something similar to what I was, and you'll be better off in the long run if you figure it out earlier than your thirties, LOL
If not- fuck em all, being still and reflective in the moment is awesome
I dont think i dissociate. At most, I just think about stuff to pass time and occupy my mind in dull moments. The most recent time someone asked me about being sad, i was just listening to music and reading on my own.
Thanks for your concern, though. I appreciate it 🙌
I was fine before I was asked, now I'm just pissed. Lol
Often tell hubby, "I will look at your meme, but I will not have the reaction you want me to have."
I'm about to just say "I'm fine, just autistic" and then let them figure it out from there. So tired of having to quickly think of an excuse to get them to fuck off lol
Worse when it's people close to you that are *supposed* to know you're autistic and yet they don't know shit about autism at all, much less how it affects you, the person they're supposed to be close to.
I can't fully relate to this because my friends only jokingly comment on my expression and how it's out of place sometimes, but I can imagine your frustration! There might be resources online you could send to your friends?
Seems you have resting sad face. My condolences 🤣
If people's reaction to you determines what your resting face is, I must have resting helpful face. I swear I get picked out of crowds by people who need help.
usually no one asks cus im either neutral face or have the biggest smile ever cus my brain is full of special intereasts and hyperfixations
like DESTINY 2 FINAL SHAPE YEAH-
I was "ok" before you asked.
Real. And even when I *am* miserable, I don’t want people asking me about it? Go away???
Yeah, like most of the time when people ask how you are, its not the type where a close friend is concerned (which i appreciate), its just the superficial one where they get freaked out if you say anything else than "no im fine" so it feels annoying and unnecessary.
Literally just trying to exist here
When you drop the mask bc you’re relaxed or just straight chillin 😭 but for me they think I’m angry bc of my rbf
My resting face is apparently extremely arrogant. Many times coworkers eventually told me, 'I thought you were really stuck up when I met you, but you're actually a goofy weirdo.' Why thank you. I think.
I used to think this too about me... but I've kinda reframed it in my mind since... Cuz something NTs do a lot... lots of them are insecure... and when they encounter a blank expression, they start projecting their fears. Like if they're calling you arrogant, they're afraid that they're being seen as arrogant, or they fear that they are (sometimes both). Or, they're afraid that you're arrogant and so they see it. I noticed this as a child and would force myself to smile, even if it was fake as hell, cuz it would put people's minds to rest. Anytime I didn't "put on" some sort of expression, they'd always seem to think the worst and project that onto me. Then I saw them do exactly this with completely inanimate humanoid objects (and sometimes non-humanoid ones). Watch people interact with androids, even primitive ones and especially primitive ones in fact. It's (IMHO) why they so often see them as "evil". Um... they're not alive. It also seems (to me) to be a big part of why people freak the hell out on acid and shrooms... cuz they start projecting that shit everywhere. Maybe you're just a blank canvas, or a mirror?
Its cus my resting face is like : 🙁
this happens to me always . I think its sort of funny but id actually appreciate it if they sat down with me in silence instead of giving me puppy eye bullshit then walking away to go talk to their friends
Seriously. Even my children have asked me what’s wrong. I’ve started saying I’m fine, my face is just like this.
Me intensely thinking about some cute happy scene in a story I’m planning and am obsessed with. “What’re you mad about?” “Nothing.” “Oh come on, you can talk about it.” “I’m not mad though.” Well I am because it’s always the exact same fucking people who have yet to realize I’m never mad when I look mad. Cue back and forth until I eventually snap and tell them I wasn’t mad until they started harassing me over nothing instead of actually listening to me repeatedly telling them that I’m not mad and want to be left alone. I’d probably told them multiple times what I was thinking about in a naive attempt to get them to stop by the time I get really pissed off, but they never believe me. (This is a weekly occurrence with the same 4 people)
"what are you mad about" "the fact that you don't listen to me when I tell you I'm not mad, and you proceed to harass me about it until I AM mad"
Lemme put one small yellow flag up for you People said this about me for my whole teenage years and I never understood why, I felt perfectly fine- but as an adult, turns out I was going through a long dissociative phase due to being trans/autistic/adhd and not knowing it, so I was basically blocking out all of reality without realizing it in order to cope Just sayin'- I believe you totally, but also, do a quick check. Have you been feeling isolated or separated from things that you think you should feel close to? Got a bit of a 'dim' or 'greyish' filter on your world? Richer inner life than outer? Those are big signs you might be dealing with something similar to what I was, and you'll be better off in the long run if you figure it out earlier than your thirties, LOL If not- fuck em all, being still and reflective in the moment is awesome
I dont think i dissociate. At most, I just think about stuff to pass time and occupy my mind in dull moments. The most recent time someone asked me about being sad, i was just listening to music and reading on my own. Thanks for your concern, though. I appreciate it 🙌
My face does not correctly display the emotion I am feeling unless I tell it to do so. No point doing that if im not talking to anyone
Yeah! What is there to express if there's nobody to express it to??
No literally, I definitely have "resting sad face" cuz I've been asked too often if I'm okay when I'm just. Sitting there relaxing like huh?
My face does not correctly display the emotion I am feeling unless I tell it to do so. No point doing that if im not talking to anyone
This has happened to me SO MANY TIMES. I just like sitting alone and look depressed and angry most of the time.
I was fine before I was asked, now I'm just pissed. Lol Often tell hubby, "I will look at your meme, but I will not have the reaction you want me to have."
I'm about to just say "I'm fine, just autistic" and then let them figure it out from there. So tired of having to quickly think of an excuse to get them to fuck off lol Worse when it's people close to you that are *supposed* to know you're autistic and yet they don't know shit about autism at all, much less how it affects you, the person they're supposed to be close to.
I can't fully relate to this because my friends only jokingly comment on my expression and how it's out of place sometimes, but I can imagine your frustration! There might be resources online you could send to your friends?
Why I still cannot stop masking ...
Why I still cannot stop masking
YES. This happened all the time at Christian summer camp when I was a kid and I hated it!! Let me read Percy Jackson in peace you cretins!
Seems you have resting sad face. My condolences 🤣 If people's reaction to you determines what your resting face is, I must have resting helpful face. I swear I get picked out of crowds by people who need help.
usually no one asks cus im either neutral face or have the biggest smile ever cus my brain is full of special intereasts and hyperfixations like DESTINY 2 FINAL SHAPE YEAH-