It is never selfish to live your life and be open about it. If they have issues with it, it is their problem and it's something they need to work on for themselves.
My first marriage was to a pastor's daughter. Her older brother came out to his family (apart from my ex and me because he told my ex when they were still in high school) when he was 26 when they were visiting. His father said only "you know what we think about that," and then his parents left and drove 3 hours home. My ex and I split up about 6 months after that, so I can't tell you about whether that story has a happy ending or not, unfortunately.
I can tell you that regardless of how his parents and siblings reacted, it was a massive weight off his shoulders to be able to live his life authentically and not to hide that his "roommate" was his partner of several years.
You cannot control your parents and how they choose to behave, but you can set the terms on which you will have (or not have) a relationship with them. If you're still dependent on them for something - if you're living at home, or they're paying your rent, or you don't have access to health insurance without them - it might be harder and more dangerous to make the choice to live authentically. Whatever choice you make, though, it is *your* choice, not theirs.
I know this is a very difficult position to be in. Be kind to yourself; the shame and repression comes at a cost, too, and if you try to pretend it doesn't, it will hurt you even worse.
I have yet to tell anyone except a close friend and my wife. There hasn't been an absolute need. If they really demanded with real consequences, I'd prolly tell them but letting life go the way it is has been fine.
It could be an entirely neutral thing to not reveal what you believe. This all depends on if it is possible to keep things neutral and just keep living life. I have found this to be true for me. I deconverted, no one has the need to know, so I interact with them as I did before.
Your revelation could send them into a tizzy but this has more to do with them than you. It is not your obligation to do anything if you have moved the fuck out and whatnot. Absolutely: if someone becomes enraged or off-kilter because someone else doesn't believe the same, it is their problem with their life-long expectations, namely, riding off into the sunset as a good Xtian family n' shit.
Then again, per your last few sentences, the only way to find out is to go kick some ass. The initial hit causes the big to-do, but then time wears on.
I wish you the best but for now, put your mind at ease and enjoy what is today.
Taking care of yourself isn't selfish. The people who say otherwise are trying to control you for selfish reasons.
It is never selfish to live your life and be open about it. If they have issues with it, it is their problem and it's something they need to work on for themselves.
My first marriage was to a pastor's daughter. Her older brother came out to his family (apart from my ex and me because he told my ex when they were still in high school) when he was 26 when they were visiting. His father said only "you know what we think about that," and then his parents left and drove 3 hours home. My ex and I split up about 6 months after that, so I can't tell you about whether that story has a happy ending or not, unfortunately. I can tell you that regardless of how his parents and siblings reacted, it was a massive weight off his shoulders to be able to live his life authentically and not to hide that his "roommate" was his partner of several years. You cannot control your parents and how they choose to behave, but you can set the terms on which you will have (or not have) a relationship with them. If you're still dependent on them for something - if you're living at home, or they're paying your rent, or you don't have access to health insurance without them - it might be harder and more dangerous to make the choice to live authentically. Whatever choice you make, though, it is *your* choice, not theirs. I know this is a very difficult position to be in. Be kind to yourself; the shame and repression comes at a cost, too, and if you try to pretend it doesn't, it will hurt you even worse.
"You know what we have to think about that...."
I have yet to tell anyone except a close friend and my wife. There hasn't been an absolute need. If they really demanded with real consequences, I'd prolly tell them but letting life go the way it is has been fine. It could be an entirely neutral thing to not reveal what you believe. This all depends on if it is possible to keep things neutral and just keep living life. I have found this to be true for me. I deconverted, no one has the need to know, so I interact with them as I did before. Your revelation could send them into a tizzy but this has more to do with them than you. It is not your obligation to do anything if you have moved the fuck out and whatnot. Absolutely: if someone becomes enraged or off-kilter because someone else doesn't believe the same, it is their problem with their life-long expectations, namely, riding off into the sunset as a good Xtian family n' shit. Then again, per your last few sentences, the only way to find out is to go kick some ass. The initial hit causes the big to-do, but then time wears on. I wish you the best but for now, put your mind at ease and enjoy what is today.