Daydreaming about your own funeral and how your corpse would look, during the meeting is never a good sign, especially if it brings you some sort of comfort to do so. Don't stay so long that you start planning your own death.
Looking back, the meetings for me were like attending weekly funerals. I stayed far too long and didn't leave until I started having panic attacks and depression. All that disappeared in a matter of days, once I finally left.
Before I ran away I’d had dreams every night of a hooded man trying to shoot & kill me for neatly 20 yrs.
The depression was unbearable. As soon as I left my JW marriage & JW nonsense the nightmares stopped. Have never had another one.
I used to dream about my parents dying just so I had a way to escape 🙃 I never wanted that. I still don't. But in my mind, that was the point way to get out of the cult.
An old sister in our hall threw herself a party. She said it was her funeral so that when she died they didn't need to have one. It was the best jw funeral ever. 🤣🤣
https://preview.redd.it/f9wr4rxwp8ad1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a92639807f4b8a3e6b4b0dccf3c7a835b7151df8
THATS TOO GOOD 💀 This is what i imagine the party was like
https://preview.redd.it/nyheeiu7r8ad1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5d64cf6636d8ec7af6786d2914be18932a7ae281
Maybe I should’ve edited my idea 😂 but this is more what I was imagining. But yes I did think of the food and dancing too, she sounds fun!
I had a similar story with a wonderful sister I knew. There was no formal memorial at the kingdom hall, and of course, a DYING woman and her husband were judged for that. She had her celebration of life before she passed. All she wanted to do was drink Jello out of cups with the ones she loved. So we took our weird little jello shots and sipped them through a straw. 💓
Another person who was like an uncle or grandfather to me died of prostate cancer. His very devout wife refused a JW memorial because they're so generic and feel meaningless. The love of her life? He deserved more than that.
This beautiful woman printed out a life-sized cardboard cut out of her love, put it next to his old blue and black Harley so we could all take a picture on it with him. We weren't as sad because of her. Whike she had lost everything. She spent a week making a slide show of their lives together. ❤️
I want to add that the way he was treated by the elders while he was sick was just.... revolting. The cancer spread to his face. He was very insecure about it, so he grew a beard. They wouldn't let him attend meetings for the last year of his life because he had facial hair... and now those fuckers just up and changed that rule like it meant nothing. Because it does mean nothing. It sickens me.
In the name of God Jah where is the christ like compassion and ❤️ love for this poor man,we're supposed to be Christian people, that rule is pure Nonsense never ever a Bible command, they truly are like their father Satan, where is the humanity ,has Jesus left this organization and its rules
There should never be shame in therapy or taking care of your mental health. It doesn't mean you are crazy, and who cares if you are, talking to trained professionals is so much more beneficial and comforting than any clown elder.
Don't wait till your escape! Plan a day for yourself now. A spa day, a movie, a cake, going out with friends, splurge on something, whatever makes you feel special. Celebrate yourself!
Take an Uber to a restaurant/bar. Start with bfast and screwdrivers (or libation of pref), continue on to lunch with drinks. Take an Uber home for a nap then get up for happy hour and start back up again. Uber home. Nighty-night on your special day. My mother used that expression on the 2 oldest in out family (girls) us boys never heard that. Mom knew how to raise girls but not boys.
I honestly think about the same thing fairly often and not once did I think why I thought that way.
Legit I think about who would be sad, who would show up, and who would be devastated for days, weeks or months.
Yess! I’ll be like “I wonder who my mom will invite :D” or “sister J will definitely get over it 20 minutes after finding out but brother E will be devastated since he watched me grow up.. right?”
Reality: none of them besides maybe family will think about it for more than the time it takes for the funeral recruitment talk.
JW do not often mourn their dead normally. They speak of “seeing them again soon” and don’t get to grieve in a typical manner because it’s secretly (and not so secretly) frowned upon to be sad because you have The Truth and aren’t like those worldly people with no everlasting life hope.
Get out there and live a real life, it’s so worth it! I hope you get a big ole birthday cake of your dreams soon.
That just made me think, after I left mentally a friend of mine died rather tragically, I cried so hard during his funeral. It was during covid so it was online and we had our screen on. I got so many messages saying all they could focus on was me crying quietly in the back of our living room. It confused me because yeah I was sad my friend died???
Two very kind elders in my hall passed during Covid as well. One cancer and the other old age. Both zoom meetings some MS’ texted me to turn off my camera bc they could see me sobbing. Like.. yeah I’m crying 🤨 why aren’t YOU crying?
It is very messed up. It means we can't just buy any to sleep in, we need to get them custom made. And a good custom made casket can put you back a whole months worth of rent on a half decent old castle.
Whoa that is WILD! You just gave me an epiphany as well.. I used to think about that all the time, or like what people would do if I died right now.. I haven’t thought about it at all since I’ve been fully out 🤯
Then go! I feel that this org is a death cult. They read death, preach death and long for death. This also may be the reason as to always thinking about your own funeral. Get out while you can and have that special day for yourself.
Once you have a job or education i promise leaving is the best choice for happiness even if you louse everyone you ever cared for(sans kids) , crazy kinda sad thing is people are 100% replaceable even though we dont want to believe that fact. you will find new friends and family if you try and probably even if you don’t try. Your young you have time. Until then have a silly funeral party, make it a jw trend haha
… and in my mind I suddenly have Celebrating Nothing by Phantogram playing. As some sort of ironic movie daydream montage lol.
Ugh, I’m so sorry. If you have to stay PIMO for awhile, please make plans to go somewhere on a day trip for your birthday to celebrate it! A restaurant… a bar if you’re old enough — it doesn’t have to be fancy. But do it for you. Life should be celebrated. Even if it’s as simple as buying yourself a cupcake, going on YouTube and searching a celebrity you like to sing happy birthday to you. Hang in, and all the best.
In advance ❤️ hope you’re a Jack Black fan. If not, well at least it’s funny
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=13S-bcyHkzM&pp=ygUhaGFwcHkgYmlydGhkYXkgY2VsZWJyaXR5IHNpbmdpbmcg
Prepare for A5 song sheets to be printed, one with a brief eulogy / synopsis of your life, the other with the song *He Will Call* on the other side, directions to the ~~wake~~ short gathering of refreshments at a local home afterwards, and one of the PIMIs has printed the JW QR code on the back to encourage your unbelieving relatives 😵 Thankfully as you passed just before Memorial season, the speaker can weave that line into his brief talk to encourage some to attend the upcoming Special Talk 😉
Seriously though, don't die before you've lived... I know meetings are that sombre but to think of something so grim isn't a good sign. I think it's because as a JW the emphasis is on "the real life" so everything is just about getting to the end of this existence. Think of it. The only "celebration" is of the death of someone, never about celebrating a birthday of a child or something positive that can build up. Always in a negative loop.
Do something useful with your time OP, Zoom Fade or use the meeting night for a hobby or pastime at 💰😊
This is definitely a sign to get the hell out of the bOrg.
Look around at the hall next time you’re there. They’re like programmed robots. They all speak the same. Dress the same. Even walk the same.
It’s the mind control. And that ain’t really living. It’s just existing. Moving to the rhythm someone else dictates.
Please don’t feel too bad. I’ve always liked the kind of dark side and have often thought of my own funeral just in exactly the same ways you do!! However, like the first commenter said, don’t let it get to the point you’re planning the death part. Please!
You know? I think you just may be right. *Everything* people do started with *some* kind of tradition, and how many of those were JWs?
Besides, think about it:
"Let's take the dead body, gut it, dress it, put make up on it and have people walk by this."
Kind of sounds like Egypt?
Exactly! And the fact they make the coffin look comfy so they have a place to rest. It’s giving after life vibes, but you know. That’s a dangerous game to play
Take yourself on a date. Treat yourself. Go somewhere nice, get a nice meal, maybe catch a movie or an art gallery, something you wouldn't normally do. Get away, even if it's only for a few hours. It's good for the soul.
My wife had her best friend pass away unexpectedly 2 weeks ago. Mid 50’s healthy.
We were talking about funerals and what should be done for each of us.
I told her I want all of “Crack the Skye” album by mastodon played in its entirety. Along with the visualizer.
The album description
“There is a paraplegic and the only way that he can go anywhere is if he astral travels. He goes out of his body, into outer space and a bit like Icarus, he goes too close to the sun, burning off the golden umbilical cord that is attached to his solar plexus. So he is in outer space and he is lost, he gets sucked into a wormhole, he ends up in the spirit realm and he talks to spirits telling them that he is not really dead. So they send him to the Russian cult, they use him in a divination and they find out his problem. They decide they are going to help him. They put his soul inside Rasputin's body. Rasputin goes to usurp the czar and he is murdered. The two souls fly out of Rasputin's body through the crack in the sky(e) and Rasputin is the wise man that is trying to lead the child home to his body because his parents have discovered him by now and think that he is dead. Rasputin needs to get him back into his body before it's too late. But they end up running into the Devil along the way and the Devil tries to steal their souls and bring them down ... there are some obstacles along the way.”
I want JW’s to run for the door, screaming, pushing each other out of the way.
It warms my cold dead heart just thinking about it.
Dark as in a macabre way. I know woodturner who got a piece of wood from a buddy of his who wanted him to turn it into his urn. I thought that was macabre. I also read an obit in the paper that the person wrote herself. It started out: "Well, I guess if you're reading this, i'm gone. ..." That was out there, but at least she was in control of what was said. I guess you could say, she had the last word.
I turned 32 last December. i ordered some Drink Glasses from Amazon and opened them on my Birthday got a bottle of Southern Comfort and had a chilled evening best part was it was on Meeting night 🤣
>Just as I was beginning to accept that I might never escape this place,
Don't feel bad,. From my observation, a lot of PIMO on this sub will never make it out
Thank you for sharing your experience. I stayed too long..but as a child you can’t get out. I became consumed with my own death or the idea I’d be ok when other people around me died.
Please leave as soon as you can. I hate JwS for taking over 20 years of my life… I’ll never, you will never get the time you spend in association with this organization BACK.
Try to think forward… about building the life you would like to live.👩🏼🌾📖
Oh my god! I celebrated my first birthday last year and it was super basic. Because I have no one but my boyfriend, all we did was go out to dinner and then we went to a few places that offer free items on your birthday. But I did wear a big sash that said "Birthday Girl" -- lol. All evening, random strangers kept saying "Happy Birthday!" As I walked by and I was NOT prepared for how happy it made me!!
I never felt like I had missed much not celebrating birthdays and I felt silly even going to dinner for mine now because indidnt think I cared all that much, but OMG -- it was SO much fun. So absolutely go celebrate your birthday or "treat yoself!" To a spa day or whatever you can do.
We were never taught to prioritize ourselves! That doing anything for ourselves was selfish and sinister! It's not! As long as you're not hurting anyone else, go have a day for yourself!
Has anyone ever seen a casket in a Kingdom Hall? I remember seeing an infant one once. Do they allow caskets? Or was that another made up rule in my screwball congregation I grew up in?
Just a reminder crying at a funeral or memorial shows you are spiritually week. Maybe that’s why my family cried at dad’s JW funeral. We never fit in. Sorry off subject but what a waste of my life.
Nope, not one scripture, says Don't celebrate the birth of a child, but I do know one that glorified a child's birth, 😉 and if I am not mistaken the angels glorified his birth,,
Honestly i totally understand and i know how hard it is to feel like you could never leave. Im 19 and turning 20 on july 8th, going with my not jw boyfriend to Disneyland in tokyo, traveling and every single day i thank god whatever gods there are or maybe not thanking god at all but something that i am not a Jehovah’s Witness anymore. It is a life of torture and a shell of myself where i am not alive. I believe in you and i just want to say it is possible to leave. Even if you lose everything you gain everything by leaving. You rediscover yourself and can feel human and alive for the first time and you only have this life to live. Please dont waste it by living in a shell of yourself. I really try hard to “spread the good news” of how awful and dangerous this cult is and i really hope to help people i know wake up and if not gain the courage and strength to leave and do something for themselves and their own well being because that is all that matters no matter how difficult that might be
Your funeral and your birthday are both things you don't want to spend too much time focused on. Hold the feeling and let them go. It's good to celebrate someone's life and their birth. But it's what is in between those two that really matters. Breathe, hold, release.
I always wanted a day to be about me. When i was a child. And I have wondered about being narcissistic because of that but it's pretty normal actually. My parents always recognized my birthday though. No we didn't do a traditional celebration with candles and singing. But the day was acknowledged and I think that the witnesses get so caught up in not celebrating that they go to the opposite extreme. The GB never said we can't acknowledge and enjoy the day. It's the same thing with a witness wedding. They just have you stay away from customs that have strange origins but they don't say you can't have a wedding. I always remember that everyone in my area made a big deal out of high-school graduation parties, weddings, anniversaries, and other things so they could have their day in the spotlight. One thing I realized is that so many ex JWs left because of people's opinions or because they wanted to celebrate holidays and do stuff they weren't allowed to do. That's a horrible reason to use in deciding your belief system. I left because I truely don't know if I believe in their teachings and had a crisis of faith. Now 15 years and alot of research and learning later and I still think they are the closest to having it right as far as Bible teachings and translation. If I ever go back I will just keep my personal life to myself. The Bible said make the truth your own. The witnesses say that quote constantly. That's what you should do. Make the truth your own and understand it and take the people and the organization out of the equation. Getting butt hurt because people gossip and get in your business isn't the same as a crisis in belief. Pouting because you can't celebrate your birthday is a silly reason to walk away from God. I am a grown adult that is not a witness and I still don't celebrate my birthday. It is just a day. I feel like I may be the only ex JW that isn't bitter against the people and organization. They are just people. I have had all of the same problems with people and groups out in world backstabbing gossip and the like. Did anyone else just leave to go and learn or is everyone here just mad at the elders and old people in the congregation for being busybodies? I heard an interesting quote from a non JW person the other day that said Satan won't ever tempt you to serve him over God blatantly... of course we would reject that. He tricks into serving ourselves over God. That's where we stumble. Stay humble folks!
My epiphany came during a meeting as well and I left halfway through to handle things with my parents, they were in a different congregation so had different meeting times.
Meetings do give a lot of time to think about things and then the love bombing is triggering so it helps push things over the edge.
Honestly I’ve been out for a few years but this year a friend had me around for a fancy lunch and gave me gifts and just made me feel so special, I burst into tears. There is absolutely no reason someone shouldn’t be made to feel special on their birthday. Freedom is the best. 🎈
Daydreaming about your own funeral and how your corpse would look, during the meeting is never a good sign, especially if it brings you some sort of comfort to do so. Don't stay so long that you start planning your own death. Looking back, the meetings for me were like attending weekly funerals. I stayed far too long and didn't leave until I started having panic attacks and depression. All that disappeared in a matter of days, once I finally left.
Before I ran away I’d had dreams every night of a hooded man trying to shoot & kill me for neatly 20 yrs. The depression was unbearable. As soon as I left my JW marriage & JW nonsense the nightmares stopped. Have never had another one.
I used to dream about my parents dying just so I had a way to escape 🙃 I never wanted that. I still don't. But in my mind, that was the point way to get out of the cult.
An old sister in our hall threw herself a party. She said it was her funeral so that when she died they didn't need to have one. It was the best jw funeral ever. 🤣🤣
https://preview.redd.it/f9wr4rxwp8ad1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a92639807f4b8a3e6b4b0dccf3c7a835b7151df8 THATS TOO GOOD 💀 This is what i imagine the party was like
Or there was a potluck and line dancing. It was a JW gathering 😅
https://preview.redd.it/nyheeiu7r8ad1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5d64cf6636d8ec7af6786d2914be18932a7ae281 Maybe I should’ve edited my idea 😂 but this is more what I was imagining. But yes I did think of the food and dancing too, she sounds fun!
Omg we had to do the line dancing forgot about that!
I had a similar story with a wonderful sister I knew. There was no formal memorial at the kingdom hall, and of course, a DYING woman and her husband were judged for that. She had her celebration of life before she passed. All she wanted to do was drink Jello out of cups with the ones she loved. So we took our weird little jello shots and sipped them through a straw. 💓 Another person who was like an uncle or grandfather to me died of prostate cancer. His very devout wife refused a JW memorial because they're so generic and feel meaningless. The love of her life? He deserved more than that. This beautiful woman printed out a life-sized cardboard cut out of her love, put it next to his old blue and black Harley so we could all take a picture on it with him. We weren't as sad because of her. Whike she had lost everything. She spent a week making a slide show of their lives together. ❤️ I want to add that the way he was treated by the elders while he was sick was just.... revolting. The cancer spread to his face. He was very insecure about it, so he grew a beard. They wouldn't let him attend meetings for the last year of his life because he had facial hair... and now those fuckers just up and changed that rule like it meant nothing. Because it does mean nothing. It sickens me.
OMG! Those bastards
I would be so pissed if I was her. Look how they treated him wrong, all for nothing.
That was just f***ING wrong, how SAD!
Those elders don’t even deserve to be called people. They are disgusting, vile, heartless creatures.
In the name of God Jah where is the christ like compassion and ❤️ love for this poor man,we're supposed to be Christian people, that rule is pure Nonsense never ever a Bible command, they truly are like their father Satan, where is the humanity ,has Jesus left this organization and its rules
If you are day dreaming about therapy it might be time to go see one for real.
*sigh* yeahhh 😀 you right
There should never be shame in therapy or taking care of your mental health. It doesn't mean you are crazy, and who cares if you are, talking to trained professionals is so much more beneficial and comforting than any clown elder.
Don't wait till your escape! Plan a day for yourself now. A spa day, a movie, a cake, going out with friends, splurge on something, whatever makes you feel special. Celebrate yourself! 
Take an Uber to a restaurant/bar. Start with bfast and screwdrivers (or libation of pref), continue on to lunch with drinks. Take an Uber home for a nap then get up for happy hour and start back up again. Uber home. Nighty-night on your special day. My mother used that expression on the 2 oldest in out family (girls) us boys never heard that. Mom knew how to raise girls but not boys.
I honestly think about the same thing fairly often and not once did I think why I thought that way. Legit I think about who would be sad, who would show up, and who would be devastated for days, weeks or months.
Yess! I’ll be like “I wonder who my mom will invite :D” or “sister J will definitely get over it 20 minutes after finding out but brother E will be devastated since he watched me grow up.. right?”
Reality: none of them besides maybe family will think about it for more than the time it takes for the funeral recruitment talk. JW do not often mourn their dead normally. They speak of “seeing them again soon” and don’t get to grieve in a typical manner because it’s secretly (and not so secretly) frowned upon to be sad because you have The Truth and aren’t like those worldly people with no everlasting life hope. Get out there and live a real life, it’s so worth it! I hope you get a big ole birthday cake of your dreams soon.
That just made me think, after I left mentally a friend of mine died rather tragically, I cried so hard during his funeral. It was during covid so it was online and we had our screen on. I got so many messages saying all they could focus on was me crying quietly in the back of our living room. It confused me because yeah I was sad my friend died???
Two very kind elders in my hall passed during Covid as well. One cancer and the other old age. Both zoom meetings some MS’ texted me to turn off my camera bc they could see me sobbing. Like.. yeah I’m crying 🤨 why aren’t YOU crying?
So bizarre, like it's so normal and human to cry during funerals. That's how people mourn. I guess the brainwashing runs deep with these ones.
So have your next birthday in a casket. Problem solved.
Hmm, your definitely onto something 🤔
But warning: I worked at a funeral home in college. Caskets look comfy. They are not.
That is so messed up! The whole point is to spend eternity comfortable.
It is very messed up. It means we can't just buy any to sleep in, we need to get them custom made. And a good custom made casket can put you back a whole months worth of rent on a half decent old castle.
won't ask how u know that. Does that include the deluxe model?
you slept in one?
I laid in some. They all just have very thin “padding” over big metal straps that can raise or lower the body height.
oooh that's interesting. you busted a myth
Whoa that is WILD! You just gave me an epiphany as well.. I used to think about that all the time, or like what people would do if I died right now.. I haven’t thought about it at all since I’ve been fully out 🤯
Same! Grew up planning my funeral, stopped doing this when i left lol
That’s so crazy and honestly weirds me out so much now 😂
Then go! I feel that this org is a death cult. They read death, preach death and long for death. This also may be the reason as to always thinking about your own funeral. Get out while you can and have that special day for yourself.
If you are in northern CA, USA for your next birthday, let me know. We can celebrate it together!
Unfortunately I’m in the Bible Belt 🫠but I am trying to convince my POMI brother to take me to NY for my 21st b-day next year :D
Once you have a job or education i promise leaving is the best choice for happiness even if you louse everyone you ever cared for(sans kids) , crazy kinda sad thing is people are 100% replaceable even though we dont want to believe that fact. you will find new friends and family if you try and probably even if you don’t try. Your young you have time. Until then have a silly funeral party, make it a jw trend haha
… and in my mind I suddenly have Celebrating Nothing by Phantogram playing. As some sort of ironic movie daydream montage lol. Ugh, I’m so sorry. If you have to stay PIMO for awhile, please make plans to go somewhere on a day trip for your birthday to celebrate it! A restaurant… a bar if you’re old enough — it doesn’t have to be fancy. But do it for you. Life should be celebrated. Even if it’s as simple as buying yourself a cupcake, going on YouTube and searching a celebrity you like to sing happy birthday to you. Hang in, and all the best. In advance ❤️ hope you’re a Jack Black fan. If not, well at least it’s funny https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=13S-bcyHkzM&pp=ygUhaGFwcHkgYmlydGhkYXkgY2VsZWJyaXR5IHNpbmdpbmcg
Thank you, that actually did make me feel better 🥹
Prepare for A5 song sheets to be printed, one with a brief eulogy / synopsis of your life, the other with the song *He Will Call* on the other side, directions to the ~~wake~~ short gathering of refreshments at a local home afterwards, and one of the PIMIs has printed the JW QR code on the back to encourage your unbelieving relatives 😵 Thankfully as you passed just before Memorial season, the speaker can weave that line into his brief talk to encourage some to attend the upcoming Special Talk 😉 Seriously though, don't die before you've lived... I know meetings are that sombre but to think of something so grim isn't a good sign. I think it's because as a JW the emphasis is on "the real life" so everything is just about getting to the end of this existence. Think of it. The only "celebration" is of the death of someone, never about celebrating a birthday of a child or something positive that can build up. Always in a negative loop. Do something useful with your time OP, Zoom Fade or use the meeting night for a hobby or pastime at 💰😊
This is definitely a sign to get the hell out of the bOrg. Look around at the hall next time you’re there. They’re like programmed robots. They all speak the same. Dress the same. Even walk the same. It’s the mind control. And that ain’t really living. It’s just existing. Moving to the rhythm someone else dictates.
Please don’t feel too bad. I’ve always liked the kind of dark side and have often thought of my own funeral just in exactly the same ways you do!! However, like the first commenter said, don’t let it get to the point you’re planning the death part. Please!
I actually think funerals are more pagan than birthdays, somehow we are allowed to have funerals 🫣
You know? I think you just may be right. *Everything* people do started with *some* kind of tradition, and how many of those were JWs? Besides, think about it: "Let's take the dead body, gut it, dress it, put make up on it and have people walk by this." Kind of sounds like Egypt?
Exactly! And the fact they make the coffin look comfy so they have a place to rest. It’s giving after life vibes, but you know. That’s a dangerous game to play
Take yourself on a date. Treat yourself. Go somewhere nice, get a nice meal, maybe catch a movie or an art gallery, something you wouldn't normally do. Get away, even if it's only for a few hours. It's good for the soul.
Great idea!*!*!
My wife had her best friend pass away unexpectedly 2 weeks ago. Mid 50’s healthy. We were talking about funerals and what should be done for each of us. I told her I want all of “Crack the Skye” album by mastodon played in its entirety. Along with the visualizer. The album description “There is a paraplegic and the only way that he can go anywhere is if he astral travels. He goes out of his body, into outer space and a bit like Icarus, he goes too close to the sun, burning off the golden umbilical cord that is attached to his solar plexus. So he is in outer space and he is lost, he gets sucked into a wormhole, he ends up in the spirit realm and he talks to spirits telling them that he is not really dead. So they send him to the Russian cult, they use him in a divination and they find out his problem. They decide they are going to help him. They put his soul inside Rasputin's body. Rasputin goes to usurp the czar and he is murdered. The two souls fly out of Rasputin's body through the crack in the sky(e) and Rasputin is the wise man that is trying to lead the child home to his body because his parents have discovered him by now and think that he is dead. Rasputin needs to get him back into his body before it's too late. But they end up running into the Devil along the way and the Devil tries to steal their souls and bring them down ... there are some obstacles along the way.” I want JW’s to run for the door, screaming, pushing each other out of the way. It warms my cold dead heart just thinking about it.
It's time to leave dear brother... Your mind knows already.. trying to convince you
Holy shit this is dark. I love it!...in a dark humor kind of way. Anyway, hope your ok buddy.
Dark as in a macabre way. I know woodturner who got a piece of wood from a buddy of his who wanted him to turn it into his urn. I thought that was macabre. I also read an obit in the paper that the person wrote herself. It started out: "Well, I guess if you're reading this, i'm gone. ..." That was out there, but at least she was in control of what was said. I guess you could say, she had the last word.
I used to think like this all the time too! I’ve totally stopped since I stopped going to meetings and I didn’t even realize it! Thanks for this post.
Happy belated/early birthday!
I turned 32 last December. i ordered some Drink Glasses from Amazon and opened them on my Birthday got a bottle of Southern Comfort and had a chilled evening best part was it was on Meeting night 🤣
Can I join, sounds like great Crack, enjoy that comfort, 👍
I'm sad to say that even a FUNERAL is not about you...it's preaching to the audience about how they better stay faithful for the resurrection....
>Just as I was beginning to accept that I might never escape this place, Don't feel bad,. From my observation, a lot of PIMO on this sub will never make it out
Why?
You have to ask them for the various reasons they can't/won't leave. I'm sure they'll provide many.
Simply put, family, always family, no family in walk away, to freedom
Celebrate your birthday EVERY DAY if the cult is making you daydream about your own death. Get out there and live. Good luck.
Yeah, leave.
I like the way you wrote this. Took me back my day dreaming at meetings years ago.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I stayed too long..but as a child you can’t get out. I became consumed with my own death or the idea I’d be ok when other people around me died. Please leave as soon as you can. I hate JwS for taking over 20 years of my life… I’ll never, you will never get the time you spend in association with this organization BACK. Try to think forward… about building the life you would like to live.👩🏼🌾📖
Oh my god! I celebrated my first birthday last year and it was super basic. Because I have no one but my boyfriend, all we did was go out to dinner and then we went to a few places that offer free items on your birthday. But I did wear a big sash that said "Birthday Girl" -- lol. All evening, random strangers kept saying "Happy Birthday!" As I walked by and I was NOT prepared for how happy it made me!! I never felt like I had missed much not celebrating birthdays and I felt silly even going to dinner for mine now because indidnt think I cared all that much, but OMG -- it was SO much fun. So absolutely go celebrate your birthday or "treat yoself!" To a spa day or whatever you can do. We were never taught to prioritize ourselves! That doing anything for ourselves was selfish and sinister! It's not! As long as you're not hurting anyone else, go have a day for yourself!
I had an obsession with death growing up a JW. I wonder how common that is.
Has anyone ever seen a casket in a Kingdom Hall? I remember seeing an infant one once. Do they allow caskets? Or was that another made up rule in my screwball congregation I grew up in?
Yeah I’ve seen open caskets in the kh since I was little. Also urns
Just a reminder crying at a funeral or memorial shows you are spiritually week. Maybe that’s why my family cried at dad’s JW funeral. We never fit in. Sorry off subject but what a waste of my life.
There is nothing in the scriptures about not having a birthday party. Just like, oh, I don't know...Beards Happy Birthday!
Nope, not one scripture, says Don't celebrate the birth of a child, but I do know one that glorified a child's birth, 😉 and if I am not mistaken the angels glorified his birth,,
That's a very profound revelation, no pun intended. Keep those wheels turning, it's part of what motivates you leave
Honestly i totally understand and i know how hard it is to feel like you could never leave. Im 19 and turning 20 on july 8th, going with my not jw boyfriend to Disneyland in tokyo, traveling and every single day i thank god whatever gods there are or maybe not thanking god at all but something that i am not a Jehovah’s Witness anymore. It is a life of torture and a shell of myself where i am not alive. I believe in you and i just want to say it is possible to leave. Even if you lose everything you gain everything by leaving. You rediscover yourself and can feel human and alive for the first time and you only have this life to live. Please dont waste it by living in a shell of yourself. I really try hard to “spread the good news” of how awful and dangerous this cult is and i really hope to help people i know wake up and if not gain the courage and strength to leave and do something for themselves and their own well being because that is all that matters no matter how difficult that might be
Your funeral and your birthday are both things you don't want to spend too much time focused on. Hold the feeling and let them go. It's good to celebrate someone's life and their birth. But it's what is in between those two that really matters. Breathe, hold, release.
I always wanted a day to be about me. When i was a child. And I have wondered about being narcissistic because of that but it's pretty normal actually. My parents always recognized my birthday though. No we didn't do a traditional celebration with candles and singing. But the day was acknowledged and I think that the witnesses get so caught up in not celebrating that they go to the opposite extreme. The GB never said we can't acknowledge and enjoy the day. It's the same thing with a witness wedding. They just have you stay away from customs that have strange origins but they don't say you can't have a wedding. I always remember that everyone in my area made a big deal out of high-school graduation parties, weddings, anniversaries, and other things so they could have their day in the spotlight. One thing I realized is that so many ex JWs left because of people's opinions or because they wanted to celebrate holidays and do stuff they weren't allowed to do. That's a horrible reason to use in deciding your belief system. I left because I truely don't know if I believe in their teachings and had a crisis of faith. Now 15 years and alot of research and learning later and I still think they are the closest to having it right as far as Bible teachings and translation. If I ever go back I will just keep my personal life to myself. The Bible said make the truth your own. The witnesses say that quote constantly. That's what you should do. Make the truth your own and understand it and take the people and the organization out of the equation. Getting butt hurt because people gossip and get in your business isn't the same as a crisis in belief. Pouting because you can't celebrate your birthday is a silly reason to walk away from God. I am a grown adult that is not a witness and I still don't celebrate my birthday. It is just a day. I feel like I may be the only ex JW that isn't bitter against the people and organization. They are just people. I have had all of the same problems with people and groups out in world backstabbing gossip and the like. Did anyone else just leave to go and learn or is everyone here just mad at the elders and old people in the congregation for being busybodies? I heard an interesting quote from a non JW person the other day that said Satan won't ever tempt you to serve him over God blatantly... of course we would reject that. He tricks into serving ourselves over God. That's where we stumble. Stay humble folks!
My epiphany came during a meeting as well and I left halfway through to handle things with my parents, they were in a different congregation so had different meeting times. Meetings do give a lot of time to think about things and then the love bombing is triggering so it helps push things over the edge.
Honestly I’ve been out for a few years but this year a friend had me around for a fancy lunch and gave me gifts and just made me feel so special, I burst into tears. There is absolutely no reason someone shouldn’t be made to feel special on their birthday. Freedom is the best. 🎈
I celebrate me and my daughters birthday as pimo. We just do it privately.