I think it’s what they think they are supposed to say. Mormon pressure to say what is expected is so great! I said the same thing for many years. I never gave myself permission to consider “do I really”? What do I like about the temple?
Great point - for young people especially, I just find it so hard to believe it’s the one place they would rather be above anywhere else. It does come across as a conditioned response.
Good point on Mormon pressure to say the expected thing. Thinking also of the debacle from the women's conference and push back from TBM women that they never felt marginalized. They are just sayin the expected thing.
As a TBM, I loved going. I travel for work, and in took my stuff with me and visited probably 30 temples. Collected the schedule cards!
Fact is, I was mostly bored in there. Once I checked out the room, I remember thinking about what would have for dinner, what I had going on with work, what was on TV later, etc.
Just curious of your perspective now..Did you not let yourself believe you were bored at the time? Or what made you think that you loved going exactly?
I think I dismissed the boredom. It was more the idea that I was going to so many temples. I was also really focusing on the person I did the session for. I’m a recovering addict, so I felt that I was helping someone else unselfishly and making amends.
That’s why finding out about the origins of the temple and the polygamy ties wrecked me. It was about the deepest betrayal I’ve felt.
I would really focus on the person I did the endowment for. As a recovering addict this helped me get outside myself and serve unselfishly.
Probably the worst betrayal I felt was finding out it was all crap.
When I was a newly endowed TBM, I absolutely loved the temple. I would wake up early on Saturdays to drive across town and go to the early morning sessions.
I loved the peace and quiet there, I had always understood that the temple was as close to heaven as we could get on Earth, so naturally my brain wanted to experience that.
Now, I have to restrain myself from flipping the bird when I pass by the temple. Now I see it as a monument to greed and deception from a dishonest organization masquerading as a church.
I can get the peace and quiet there as being something people would enjoy. In reality, if you could just go to the temple and hang out in a cool, quiet place to meditate and get away from things it might be something that could be loved. But the fact that you have to go through the session, which is so horribly boring, and give all the stupid signs, change robes, etc. to be able to get to the quiet place. Then they only want you to hang out there for 10 minutes and then pressure you out.
Someday they'll have removed the session part and created a meditation space and it'll be a whole different experience. And, of course, the eternal, unchanging temple will be the same yesterday, today, and forever.
Full on mental gymnastics course is included.
Every Wednesday when I passed the temple in my area, I flipped it off, worked through all my anger, that took about a year. Now I can drive past it and just think of how grateful I am that I not doing that anymore. I’ve come a long way!
Knowing what I know now, I can’t understand why my parents had date once a month at the temple. Especially since it was a 3 hour round trip from where we lived
Not church related, but one of my husband's and my favorite places to be was in the car, driving somewhere. Maybe the temple was the excuse, but the date was actually in the car?
the temple was my favorite place when the young women’s leaders would bring us to the cafeteria after doing baptisms and let us pile up chocolate chips and sprinkles onto soft serve
now that they’ve removed temple cafeterias, i no longer see the appeal
Before I told my wife I no longer believe in Mormonism, she used to complain regularly about the temple. She said it made her feel stifled and claustrophobic. She rarely went. After I “came out,” she changed her assessment of the temple. Now she says it is a place of peace, learning, and inspiration. She “learns something” every time. She is rejuvenated. Strangely, she still rarely goes.
Going to the temple caused more stress than peace. I never liked it from the first day - which was in 1987. It was boring. I went infrequently so never fully memorized the whole thing so "going to the veil" to recite phrases caused anxiety. I never understood how people found it enlightening, educational or inspirational. I fought to stay awake. It didn't improve my relationship with my spouse. Oh, and I felt self conscious wearing such ridiculous clothing. Knowing I would not be going back to the temple? Talk about relief.
1985 for me, hated it from that very first day…one week from getting married. I’m like what the crappity crap was THAT!!!
Still married since 1985 but GRATEFULLY we are both out, out and out!!! we are so happy
Glad to hear you are both out! Unfortunately, my spouse is not out and not willing to really look at the issues, despite always being a bit on the nuanced/relaxed side from the beginning.
All 4 of our kids and the spouses of the 2 that are married are out so hopefully someday my spouse will join the rest of us on the outside.
Never give up! My husband was 62 when he figured it out and decided enough was enough. If someone told me 2 years ago he would be out, I would never have believed them.
Same. The temple was traumatic the first time I went. I forced myself to get through it because I was getting married soon after. My temple wedding was awful and impersonal. Nobody told me I’d be wearing the ugly robes on top of my dress or have polygamous vows. The short veil ceremony where my husband-to-be was god really fucked with my head (and was the first clue that the Mormon god *doesn’t* value his daughters as highly as his sons). I forced myself to go back every few years and it was never a positive experience. The last time (10 years after the first) was…neutral. I was less emotionally charged because I’d already started my faith transition. I left with an assurance that there was nothing there that was positive for me and it was ok to never go back.
Agreed. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I loved it, but it was a peaceful place for reflection that I could go to for pondering big choices. But it also felt like an obligation and I would feel guilty if I missed a month. So it was complicated.
Yes! I’m not sure I *loved* the temple per se, but it was a place of peace and quiet and I culturally expected to feel that. I enjoyed sitting next to my husband in the celestial room and not talk- just be. Now I’m pretty certain I’d feel the same in any place of meditation.
Or horrible since you have to publicly act out weird shit in weird clothes while temple workers are watching you to make sure you do it the right way. And heaven forbid you forget what you’re supposed to say at the veil and need the temple worker to give you your lines.
If the temple were a place I could just go sit in the quiet with nobody talking to me or looking for me *that* would have been restorative. The actual temple induced nothing but anxiety.
They love the _idea_ of what a temple represents, not the temple itself. This is what makes it so hard to engage in conversations about the temple with active members - you’re criticizing reality, and they are defending an ideal.
I absolutely loved the temple! It was a refuge from the turmoil, and one of the few places I didn’t feel overwhelmed. When I was TBM, I admired the elderly workers for their dedication, and found meaning in the ritual.
Yeah it’s what you’re supposed to say as a TBM. It’s a version of virtue signaling to your friends and family about how righteous you are. I didn’t hate it but I didn’t enjoy it either. I did love closing my eyes when we were told to because I could try to catch a quick nap. I found it much like a visit to the dentist, not a fan of going but I went because it’s what you need to do to maintain your spiritual health.
Yep. My first thought: virtue signaling.
That couple in the ward: "We love the temple so much! We spent all day Saturday there! We did baptisms in the morning and then stayed to do three sessions back to back! The Temple President greeted us and asked us to do sealings! We felt the spirit so strong!"
Meanwhile, the kids were at home - with a babysitter maybe? These folks did nothing for themselves or their family or their community. But boy, did we ever feel badly on Sunday when these people humble-bragged about how spiritual they are because of temple worship.
I think the temple, much like a mission, is a way to continually brainwash members with a low-key reinforcement of the internal persecution complex by making them do something extraordinarily boring, time consuming, isolated and inconvenient. Then, the only people that can relate to having to do "temple work" are other members. So you feel comforted by the admiration of other members when you virtue signal about your time spent at the temple, thus reinforcing your connection to the faith.
I think this is what is happening because, boy, as a former temple worker (see my virtue?) I can tell you there is no room for actual worship or quiet contemplation in the temple. It's just another boring mormon job where you check boxes and lose out on time with loved ones and give your life to Joseph Smith's cult.
I loved doing baptisms as a YSA. I went at least once a month, if not weekly. I loved the smell of the font, the whole quiet ritual of it. I went by myself or with my ward, I didn’t care. I wasn’t endowed til I was 27, and it was like a switch was flipped. I fucking HATED endowments. I went a total of three times before leaving.
I also loved baptisms. It’s a ritual that was already familiar and in scripture and done in public (when it’s for a living person). After I was endowed I *loathed* the temple.
I completely lost my faith after going through the temple. I hated everything about it. And I don’t think I’ll ever recover from the embarrassment of defending the church from my friends and family all those years to find out I had fallen for the biggest con of all time.
As a missionary, you get to watch a movie that isn’t the district or the first vision and maybe catch a nap, and don’t have to talk to random strangers. Winning as far as mission entertainment goes.
My (retired) parents live about 35 min from me. I needed someone to watch my kiddos for a couple hours on two different days this week and asked them. They said no to both because they had temple plans at both times and asked if I could reschedule my appointments for later in the day when they were free
My MIL admitted had acknowledged a lot of the problems with the church and with most of them. The only exception being the temple. She loves it and it's the only thing keeping her in, unfortunately.
It can be a truly wonderful place if you’re a dumbass and can’t understand what is being taught. Women are objects to be controlled and owned. Women must reproduce to be forgive for eves sins. Women hearkening to their husbands. Women give themselves to their husbands and the men receive them in marriage. Women answer to men who then answer to god. Women become queens and priestesses unto their husbands. Ya. lol. It’s a wonderful place.
I toured the Manti Temple today and, yes, it was certainly beautiful…
But damn if there wasn’t just an inescapable feeling of emptiness amongst all the opulence.
I felt nothing as I walked through the halls and stood in the rooms that were gilded in gold and decorated with all the finest crystal.
Soooooo much money spent on things that don’t really mean anything.
It was exactly what I had expected.
I toured the Manti temple in the 80's when it was last renovated. Then I attended the live endowment session (complete with penalties) before my mission. Was last there for my friends wedding in grad school (30+ years ago).
No desire to ever go back. 😁
Yep… I did a sesh at the Manti Temple 20 years ago that got me to YEET THE FUCK OUT for good!
It was that good ole fashioned feeling of being molested by your own pet Llama that really did it for me.
When my daughter and I went on the tour we were fantasizing about doing a cannonball into the baptismal font.
I can believe that some people really do bliss-out in a temple. For myself, even in my most TBM years, it was a painful experience. The best moment was when I walked out the front door.
People who like Marriott hotel lobbies will love the LDS temple. Besides, it's fun if you study the esoteric origins of the temple ceremony which is mostly derived from Freemasonry. I recommend reading "Method Infinite - Freemasonry and the Mormon Restoration" which discussed the similarities in detail. It also shows the Masonic origin of the Relief Society and of the silly handkerchief hosanna thing (which Oaks ruined with his left shark parody ⬅️🦈).
I wondered this as well! I never once said any of those things when I was in the church. I really don't understand how people can feel uplifted there with all the weird stuff going on. I can't believe I paid 10 percent to enter. I wouldn't go now even if someone paid me. haha
My brother in law is obsessed with the temple. He came to visit us with his family and he ditched them half the week because he kept going to the temple. I guess his reasoning was that he was the bishop or something.
I felt guilty as a kid for thinking it was underwhelming aesthetically and very boring as far as content. The most exciting part was flirting with the girls on the ride to the temple for youth trips and stopping for pizza on the way back. I never got endowments or married in the temple, sounds like a freakshow.
My husband and I didn’t go very often. In the 12 years after we got married there and before we left the church we went to maybe 5 endowment sessions. I was always falling asleep and needing to be woken up by old ladies to do the next handshake practice or accessory zhuzh. Then when we finally got to the celestial room where I’d want to hang out and quietly chat together my husband would always rush us out because he wanted to get home and take a dump. EVERY TIME! 💩🤦🏻♀️
Also I super hated that we were a young married couple just starting out and had to pay 10% of our meager income to go there. We wanted to buy a house and pay off student loans, and money was too tight to do that. One year we paid $8000 in December to be able to claim being full tithe payers and go to a family sealing. I’m glad I’m not brainwashed like that anymore.
A while back, I went on a business trip with my business partner who is very very mormon. We went to phoenix Arizona around 2014 to look at some machinery for our business.
We were driving down the road and he pointed to a building still under construction that was over a mile away from where we were. He said "that's the new Phoenix temple, isn't it just beautiful".
Talk about saying a trained response... From where we were at the time he said that, we were over a mile away and the temple was the size of a postage stamp and still under construction. . but it was "just beautiful". Sheesh?
It’s the only “socially approved date night” for when you’re numb and lack gumption to suggest anything remotely interesting.
I’m ashamed of how milquetoast I became when I only did “approved” activities on “approved” days. Like, who really cares what I do? I should care the MOST!
The fatal question to Mormonism is, “I know what’s expected, but what do I REALLY think about that?”
As a TBM I really, really tried to love the temple. I went at least once a week. I was never "at peace" at the temple. I was dealing with the onset of severe depression and anxiety at the time, and the perfectionism of mormonism really exasperated it.
However, I told everyone that I loved the temple, even though going made me anxious and want to throw up.
I, like many people here, ended up having a full on trauma response after going through the endowment. I passed out half a dozen times at the temple because of how much I was trying to tell myself I wasn't creeped out and that I was feeling something. (I couldn't admit that I wasn't because that would mean something was wrong with me).
After moving to Europe and spending a lot more time in cathedrals, small white farm chapels and then temples in Asia I began to realize how wrong it felt to claim the sterile Celestial room as God's living room. I was told some lesser version of his spirit were in the other places of worship but I just couldn't believe it anymore. I sat in a church that had been completely incinerated and rebuilt, with each catalogued brick after WWII and wondered how anyone could think the prayers made there could endear anyone to God less than in the temple. And I could go sit in any church anytime I wanted for that peace.
As a missionary, it was one of my favorite places.
Why? Because I got to hang out with my friends.
I didn’t have to see anyone who would “reject” my religion
Because I got to leave my normal boring area and get to travel and explore the main city
I think if you were a newish Mormon mum with a tribe of toddlers and a husband who isn't around with work and Mormon make-work, the temple would be an oasis where there aren't nappies, washing up and a horde of toddlers needing your attention and demands on your time.
they’re brainwashed to “love to see the temple” from an early age. It’s not surprising that they like a quiet place that “confirms” all their beliefs and doesn’t allow non-mormons who might question those beliefs.
But if they weren't in the club house wearing their costumes and doing their dances, they'd be raping and murdering people *after* they gay-orgyed high on liberal drugs, right? The risks of freedom are too great to face without a cult security blanket.
It is my understanding that some of the newer temples will have food courts in the basement of them. This will be done to appeal to the younger temple goers. The church already has franchise rights to use Popeyes, Costa Vida and several others.
My parents both volunteer at the temple at least once a week. I only ever went inside for baptizing the dead (weird, I know). So I don't know what goes on but from what I've heard (or seen in documentaries) is that weird, boring ass shit happens in there. I just learned about the hats today (I was born Mormon and left when I was 24, 39 now) My parents must be truly bored.
I think in some cases people are just performing (ie: saying what they think they are expected to).
But in other cases, I think some people have a desire to do what they see as right, or to be (or feel like they are being) "righteous", and they interpret the ritual of going to the temple as doing what is right. (I won't open that particular can of worms here, except to say that there really are people who believe - for one reason or another.)
I genuinely enjoyed going to the temple. Looking back it was probably because it was like meditation. Or an ego boost. Or a much needed nap when I was a sleep deprived college student lol.
I never liked it enough to be a temple worker though, I thought my roommates were crazy for going *that* much!
Mormons are indoctrinated to fear any disobedience. Put a list of primary songs on a dartboard, and you're almost guaranteed to hit something about obeying parents, choosing the one right way, following the prophet, being pure, and finding Jesus only through Mormon milestone ordinances. This includes Do As I'm Doing for the youngest Mormons and a plethora of reverence songs.
It's emotional conditioning. Obey, and you have safety, peace, and connection to God and family. Choose another way, and Satan will continue tempting you until you're like the wicked Laban or Laman and Lemuel. Any disagreement, discomfort, or desire outside the bounds the Lord (a.k.a. Mormon tradition/current Mormon leadership) has set--they all lead to physical and spiritual destruction.
This conditioning gets Mormon youth to the end of the covenant path: being sealed in the temple. But what comes next? Enduring to the end of your life while protecting your conditioned worldview from the reality of your experience. That, and raising more obedient Mormon children so they don't fall away and make your own heaven into a lonely hell.
The Mormons who lean into this conditioning end up with a lot on their shelf, especially when trying to filter out the good parts of life that pull their focus away from the finest points of Mormonism. Gotta think celestial, after all.
I was one of these, fearing the smallest disobedience to the point of policing every thought. I loved temple sessions where I could feel like I was helping someone else reach an important spiritual milestone while knowing I was accepted and safe.
When my shelf broke, though, that peace turned to cognitive dissonance, knowing I wasn't up to celestial standard, feeling a discontent that I could no longer deaden with the rest of my traitorous worldly emotions.
This young missionary has yet to reach this point. He can still buy into the idea of a static, peaceful happily-ever-after with the hot wife he's earning through good mission numbers. I hope his landing is softer than mine was.
Dunno what motivates members to say they love the temple but I hated it. Went once before getting married in the temple and was shocked! It seemed so culty and nothing like what I expected. I went one more time after getting married, mainly to see the live one in the SL temple and same. I hated it.
I had mixed feelings about it. I loved the feeling of peace and quiet. But now I've learned to create that same feeling pretty much anywhere.
I loved the feeling of being "righteous" dressed up in the robes of the holy priesthood. But now that's just 🤢
I enjoyed the spacey and nature parts of the movies but now I heard it's just a power point presentation.
I loved being the quickest person to change robes & being the first one in the room to sit back down in my seat. One trick was to take the slippers off at the end then immediately put them back on. It gives you a headstart standing up to change robes & it makes it looks like you're done before you really are🤣
I hated the cognitive dissonance it created. Every time I went, I'd notice things that didn't make rational sense. I'd go to have a spiritual experience & strengthen my testimony only to leave with more confusion & frustration.
The cognitive dissonance got so bad that I made the decision to stop going because I didn't want it to keep damaging my testimony 🤣
When I was a TBM, the celestial room was my favorite place to go when life was hectic and I needed to turn off everything. The rest of the temple, absolutely not. I was always weirded out my the rituals and that feeling never went away. But being able to go someplace where it was completely silent always felt like a special place.
Looking at it now, it reminded me of snow which is why I loved it. That absolute silence that happens when it snows where all the noise of daily life goes away was what I sought in the temple.
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I got to where I loved everything about it. It was this cosmic mystery my brain wanted/needed to solve. It fascinated me when I would hear apostles/prophets say stuff along the lines of "I think I aaaalmost understand the endowment now."
If THEY didn't understand it and were pals with JC then I clearly don't understand it. I'd analyze stupid stuff and try to make sense of it. I'd run across books from dead Mormons who would drop hints about "the truth". I'd listen to old people ramble on about their thoughts. I'd get a dopamine hit every time I had an "ah ha" moment. It was great!
In the end it was clearly all made up. I now see them as tools to get people into paying more money to the Corp. They'll drop one pretty much anywhere in order to boost tithing.
I married outside the temple, so I never did the endowments thing, but BFtD scared the shit out of me. I never had a good experience, someone always yelled at me for something, and in the SLC temple, there’s a marble hallway that you cross thru that just gave me the willies so bad that I would have to close my eyes and run. I hated it and only did it maybe four times total.
Never really enjoyed the temple but enjoyed telling people I went!!! Made me feel so much better than those who didn't. PIMO now...I did flip the temple off a couple weeks ago as I drove by. Made me feel great!! I no longer judge people like that.
I think it’s what they think they are supposed to say. Mormon pressure to say what is expected is so great! I said the same thing for many years. I never gave myself permission to consider “do I really”? What do I like about the temple?
Great point - for young people especially, I just find it so hard to believe it’s the one place they would rather be above anywhere else. It does come across as a conditioned response.
Good point on Mormon pressure to say the expected thing. Thinking also of the debacle from the women's conference and push back from TBM women that they never felt marginalized. They are just sayin the expected thing.
As a TBM, I loved going. I travel for work, and in took my stuff with me and visited probably 30 temples. Collected the schedule cards! Fact is, I was mostly bored in there. Once I checked out the room, I remember thinking about what would have for dinner, what I had going on with work, what was on TV later, etc.
Just curious of your perspective now..Did you not let yourself believe you were bored at the time? Or what made you think that you loved going exactly?
I think I dismissed the boredom. It was more the idea that I was going to so many temples. I was also really focusing on the person I did the session for. I’m a recovering addict, so I felt that I was helping someone else unselfishly and making amends. That’s why finding out about the origins of the temple and the polygamy ties wrecked me. It was about the deepest betrayal I’ve felt.
Proud of you for your recovery! I hope you’ve found other meaningful things to replace the temple stuff.
Congratulations on your recovery. My BIL is going thru this now and it is rough but he will make it!
It’s one day at a time. Progress not perfection. My best to you and your BIL!!
Thank you! He is on 30 days sober. He hid it very well. I understand that addiction runs in his side of the family.
What was it that made you love going? The times I went, which were pretty much forced, I couldn’t wait to be done and get out of there. So boring!
I would really focus on the person I did the endowment for. As a recovering addict this helped me get outside myself and serve unselfishly. Probably the worst betrayal I felt was finding out it was all crap.
When I was a newly endowed TBM, I absolutely loved the temple. I would wake up early on Saturdays to drive across town and go to the early morning sessions. I loved the peace and quiet there, I had always understood that the temple was as close to heaven as we could get on Earth, so naturally my brain wanted to experience that. Now, I have to restrain myself from flipping the bird when I pass by the temple. Now I see it as a monument to greed and deception from a dishonest organization masquerading as a church.
I can get the peace and quiet there as being something people would enjoy. In reality, if you could just go to the temple and hang out in a cool, quiet place to meditate and get away from things it might be something that could be loved. But the fact that you have to go through the session, which is so horribly boring, and give all the stupid signs, change robes, etc. to be able to get to the quiet place. Then they only want you to hang out there for 10 minutes and then pressure you out.
Someday they'll have removed the session part and created a meditation space and it'll be a whole different experience. And, of course, the eternal, unchanging temple will be the same yesterday, today, and forever. Full on mental gymnastics course is included.
Yup, my experience exactly.
Every Wednesday when I passed the temple in my area, I flipped it off, worked through all my anger, that took about a year. Now I can drive past it and just think of how grateful I am that I not doing that anymore. I’ve come a long way!
Knowing what I know now, I can’t understand why my parents had date once a month at the temple. Especially since it was a 3 hour round trip from where we lived
Not church related, but one of my husband's and my favorite places to be was in the car, driving somewhere. Maybe the temple was the excuse, but the date was actually in the car?
When I used to go I had to leave my wrist watch in the locker so I wasnt checking it every three seconds and saying, "is it almost over" like a child
I went to the temple twice while I was on my mission, it was awesome because I didn’t have to direct any tours or knock on any doors. Relativity.
I came here to say that.
the temple was my favorite place when the young women’s leaders would bring us to the cafeteria after doing baptisms and let us pile up chocolate chips and sprinkles onto soft serve now that they’ve removed temple cafeterias, i no longer see the appeal
I was pissed when they charged me for food. I was 12. Baptizisms for the dead is so fucking weird!!!
Before I told my wife I no longer believe in Mormonism, she used to complain regularly about the temple. She said it made her feel stifled and claustrophobic. She rarely went. After I “came out,” she changed her assessment of the temple. Now she says it is a place of peace, learning, and inspiration. She “learns something” every time. She is rejuvenated. Strangely, she still rarely goes.
Going to the temple caused more stress than peace. I never liked it from the first day - which was in 1987. It was boring. I went infrequently so never fully memorized the whole thing so "going to the veil" to recite phrases caused anxiety. I never understood how people found it enlightening, educational or inspirational. I fought to stay awake. It didn't improve my relationship with my spouse. Oh, and I felt self conscious wearing such ridiculous clothing. Knowing I would not be going back to the temple? Talk about relief.
1985 for me, hated it from that very first day…one week from getting married. I’m like what the crappity crap was THAT!!! Still married since 1985 but GRATEFULLY we are both out, out and out!!! we are so happy
Glad to hear you are both out! Unfortunately, my spouse is not out and not willing to really look at the issues, despite always being a bit on the nuanced/relaxed side from the beginning. All 4 of our kids and the spouses of the 2 that are married are out so hopefully someday my spouse will join the rest of us on the outside.
Never give up! My husband was 62 when he figured it out and decided enough was enough. If someone told me 2 years ago he would be out, I would never have believed them.
I hated the temple experience from day 1. I love NOT going. Outside those temple walls I find peace. Inside I find stress and unhappiness.
Same. The temple was traumatic the first time I went. I forced myself to get through it because I was getting married soon after. My temple wedding was awful and impersonal. Nobody told me I’d be wearing the ugly robes on top of my dress or have polygamous vows. The short veil ceremony where my husband-to-be was god really fucked with my head (and was the first clue that the Mormon god *doesn’t* value his daughters as highly as his sons). I forced myself to go back every few years and it was never a positive experience. The last time (10 years after the first) was…neutral. I was less emotionally charged because I’d already started my faith transition. I left with an assurance that there was nothing there that was positive for me and it was ok to never go back.
It can be a great place if you are an introvert.
Agreed. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I loved it, but it was a peaceful place for reflection that I could go to for pondering big choices. But it also felt like an obligation and I would feel guilty if I missed a month. So it was complicated.
Yes! I’m not sure I *loved* the temple per se, but it was a place of peace and quiet and I culturally expected to feel that. I enjoyed sitting next to my husband in the celestial room and not talk- just be. Now I’m pretty certain I’d feel the same in any place of meditation.
Or horrible since you have to publicly act out weird shit in weird clothes while temple workers are watching you to make sure you do it the right way. And heaven forbid you forget what you’re supposed to say at the veil and need the temple worker to give you your lines. If the temple were a place I could just go sit in the quiet with nobody talking to me or looking for me *that* would have been restorative. The actual temple induced nothing but anxiety.
They love the _idea_ of what a temple represents, not the temple itself. This is what makes it so hard to engage in conversations about the temple with active members - you’re criticizing reality, and they are defending an ideal.
I absolutely loved the temple! It was a refuge from the turmoil, and one of the few places I didn’t feel overwhelmed. When I was TBM, I admired the elderly workers for their dedication, and found meaning in the ritual.
Yeah it’s what you’re supposed to say as a TBM. It’s a version of virtue signaling to your friends and family about how righteous you are. I didn’t hate it but I didn’t enjoy it either. I did love closing my eyes when we were told to because I could try to catch a quick nap. I found it much like a visit to the dentist, not a fan of going but I went because it’s what you need to do to maintain your spiritual health.
Yep. My first thought: virtue signaling. That couple in the ward: "We love the temple so much! We spent all day Saturday there! We did baptisms in the morning and then stayed to do three sessions back to back! The Temple President greeted us and asked us to do sealings! We felt the spirit so strong!" Meanwhile, the kids were at home - with a babysitter maybe? These folks did nothing for themselves or their family or their community. But boy, did we ever feel badly on Sunday when these people humble-bragged about how spiritual they are because of temple worship. I think the temple, much like a mission, is a way to continually brainwash members with a low-key reinforcement of the internal persecution complex by making them do something extraordinarily boring, time consuming, isolated and inconvenient. Then, the only people that can relate to having to do "temple work" are other members. So you feel comforted by the admiration of other members when you virtue signal about your time spent at the temple, thus reinforcing your connection to the faith. I think this is what is happening because, boy, as a former temple worker (see my virtue?) I can tell you there is no room for actual worship or quiet contemplation in the temple. It's just another boring mormon job where you check boxes and lose out on time with loved ones and give your life to Joseph Smith's cult.
I loved doing baptisms as a YSA. I went at least once a month, if not weekly. I loved the smell of the font, the whole quiet ritual of it. I went by myself or with my ward, I didn’t care. I wasn’t endowed til I was 27, and it was like a switch was flipped. I fucking HATED endowments. I went a total of three times before leaving.
I also loved baptisms. It’s a ritual that was already familiar and in scripture and done in public (when it’s for a living person). After I was endowed I *loathed* the temple.
I completely lost my faith after going through the temple. I hated everything about it. And I don’t think I’ll ever recover from the embarrassment of defending the church from my friends and family all those years to find out I had fallen for the biggest con of all time.
Just bow your head and say Yes.
As a missionary, you get to watch a movie that isn’t the district or the first vision and maybe catch a nap, and don’t have to talk to random strangers. Winning as far as mission entertainment goes.
I dunno. I always found it boring, but now that I have toddlers it sounds like the most peaceful place on earth.
My (retired) parents live about 35 min from me. I needed someone to watch my kiddos for a couple hours on two different days this week and asked them. They said no to both because they had temple plans at both times and asked if I could reschedule my appointments for later in the day when they were free
My parents missed the birth of their first grandchild over temple attendance BS
[удалено]
My MIL admitted had acknowledged a lot of the problems with the church and with most of them. The only exception being the temple. She loves it and it's the only thing keeping her in, unfortunately.
It can be a truly wonderful place if you’re a dumbass and can’t understand what is being taught. Women are objects to be controlled and owned. Women must reproduce to be forgive for eves sins. Women hearkening to their husbands. Women give themselves to their husbands and the men receive them in marriage. Women answer to men who then answer to god. Women become queens and priestesses unto their husbands. Ya. lol. It’s a wonderful place.
I toured the Manti Temple today and, yes, it was certainly beautiful… But damn if there wasn’t just an inescapable feeling of emptiness amongst all the opulence. I felt nothing as I walked through the halls and stood in the rooms that were gilded in gold and decorated with all the finest crystal. Soooooo much money spent on things that don’t really mean anything. It was exactly what I had expected.
I toured the Manti temple in the 80's when it was last renovated. Then I attended the live endowment session (complete with penalties) before my mission. Was last there for my friends wedding in grad school (30+ years ago). No desire to ever go back. 😁
Yep… I did a sesh at the Manti Temple 20 years ago that got me to YEET THE FUCK OUT for good! It was that good ole fashioned feeling of being molested by your own pet Llama that really did it for me. When my daughter and I went on the tour we were fantasizing about doing a cannonball into the baptismal font.
I can believe that some people really do bliss-out in a temple. For myself, even in my most TBM years, it was a painful experience. The best moment was when I walked out the front door.
People who like Marriott hotel lobbies will love the LDS temple. Besides, it's fun if you study the esoteric origins of the temple ceremony which is mostly derived from Freemasonry. I recommend reading "Method Infinite - Freemasonry and the Mormon Restoration" which discussed the similarities in detail. It also shows the Masonic origin of the Relief Society and of the silly handkerchief hosanna thing (which Oaks ruined with his left shark parody ⬅️🦈).
I wondered this as well! I never once said any of those things when I was in the church. I really don't understand how people can feel uplifted there with all the weird stuff going on. I can't believe I paid 10 percent to enter. I wouldn't go now even if someone paid me. haha
Genuinely loving the temple is the point of no return, I think. You have to be sold hook, line, and sinker to make it a date night.
My brother in law is obsessed with the temple. He came to visit us with his family and he ditched them half the week because he kept going to the temple. I guess his reasoning was that he was the bishop or something.
Sounds to me like maybe he's obsessed with getting away from his family.
Probably.
I felt guilty as a kid for thinking it was underwhelming aesthetically and very boring as far as content. The most exciting part was flirting with the girls on the ride to the temple for youth trips and stopping for pizza on the way back. I never got endowments or married in the temple, sounds like a freakshow.
My husband and I didn’t go very often. In the 12 years after we got married there and before we left the church we went to maybe 5 endowment sessions. I was always falling asleep and needing to be woken up by old ladies to do the next handshake practice or accessory zhuzh. Then when we finally got to the celestial room where I’d want to hang out and quietly chat together my husband would always rush us out because he wanted to get home and take a dump. EVERY TIME! 💩🤦🏻♀️ Also I super hated that we were a young married couple just starting out and had to pay 10% of our meager income to go there. We wanted to buy a house and pay off student loans, and money was too tight to do that. One year we paid $8000 in December to be able to claim being full tithe payers and go to a family sealing. I’m glad I’m not brainwashed like that anymore.
A while back, I went on a business trip with my business partner who is very very mormon. We went to phoenix Arizona around 2014 to look at some machinery for our business. We were driving down the road and he pointed to a building still under construction that was over a mile away from where we were. He said "that's the new Phoenix temple, isn't it just beautiful". Talk about saying a trained response... From where we were at the time he said that, we were over a mile away and the temple was the size of a postage stamp and still under construction. . but it was "just beautiful". Sheesh?
It’s the only “socially approved date night” for when you’re numb and lack gumption to suggest anything remotely interesting. I’m ashamed of how milquetoast I became when I only did “approved” activities on “approved” days. Like, who really cares what I do? I should care the MOST! The fatal question to Mormonism is, “I know what’s expected, but what do I REALLY think about that?”
As a TBM I really, really tried to love the temple. I went at least once a week. I was never "at peace" at the temple. I was dealing with the onset of severe depression and anxiety at the time, and the perfectionism of mormonism really exasperated it. However, I told everyone that I loved the temple, even though going made me anxious and want to throw up.
V I R T U E S I G N A L I N G
God tells me to stick needles under my fingernails. Because that is what God commands, and I'm content with that. It's my favorite thing.
I, like many people here, ended up having a full on trauma response after going through the endowment. I passed out half a dozen times at the temple because of how much I was trying to tell myself I wasn't creeped out and that I was feeling something. (I couldn't admit that I wasn't because that would mean something was wrong with me). After moving to Europe and spending a lot more time in cathedrals, small white farm chapels and then temples in Asia I began to realize how wrong it felt to claim the sterile Celestial room as God's living room. I was told some lesser version of his spirit were in the other places of worship but I just couldn't believe it anymore. I sat in a church that had been completely incinerated and rebuilt, with each catalogued brick after WWII and wondered how anyone could think the prayers made there could endear anyone to God less than in the temple. And I could go sit in any church anytime I wanted for that peace.
Everyone has a “favorite” temple…until you realize all the temples are the exact same
It's just virtue signalling from a poor, brainwashed child at the height of his spiritual conditioning. Forgive him.
As a missionary, it was one of my favorite places. Why? Because I got to hang out with my friends. I didn’t have to see anyone who would “reject” my religion Because I got to leave my normal boring area and get to travel and explore the main city
I think if you were a newish Mormon mum with a tribe of toddlers and a husband who isn't around with work and Mormon make-work, the temple would be an oasis where there aren't nappies, washing up and a horde of toddlers needing your attention and demands on your time.
they’re brainwashed to “love to see the temple” from an early age. It’s not surprising that they like a quiet place that “confirms” all their beliefs and doesn’t allow non-mormons who might question those beliefs.
But if they weren't in the club house wearing their costumes and doing their dances, they'd be raping and murdering people *after* they gay-orgyed high on liberal drugs, right? The risks of freedom are too great to face without a cult security blanket.
It is my understanding that some of the newer temples will have food courts in the basement of them. This will be done to appeal to the younger temple goers. The church already has franchise rights to use Popeyes, Costa Vida and several others.
My parents both volunteer at the temple at least once a week. I only ever went inside for baptizing the dead (weird, I know). So I don't know what goes on but from what I've heard (or seen in documentaries) is that weird, boring ass shit happens in there. I just learned about the hats today (I was born Mormon and left when I was 24, 39 now) My parents must be truly bored.
I think in some cases people are just performing (ie: saying what they think they are expected to). But in other cases, I think some people have a desire to do what they see as right, or to be (or feel like they are being) "righteous", and they interpret the ritual of going to the temple as doing what is right. (I won't open that particular can of worms here, except to say that there really are people who believe - for one reason or another.)
I genuinely enjoyed going to the temple. Looking back it was probably because it was like meditation. Or an ego boost. Or a much needed nap when I was a sleep deprived college student lol. I never liked it enough to be a temple worker though, I thought my roommates were crazy for going *that* much!
Mormons are indoctrinated to fear any disobedience. Put a list of primary songs on a dartboard, and you're almost guaranteed to hit something about obeying parents, choosing the one right way, following the prophet, being pure, and finding Jesus only through Mormon milestone ordinances. This includes Do As I'm Doing for the youngest Mormons and a plethora of reverence songs. It's emotional conditioning. Obey, and you have safety, peace, and connection to God and family. Choose another way, and Satan will continue tempting you until you're like the wicked Laban or Laman and Lemuel. Any disagreement, discomfort, or desire outside the bounds the Lord (a.k.a. Mormon tradition/current Mormon leadership) has set--they all lead to physical and spiritual destruction. This conditioning gets Mormon youth to the end of the covenant path: being sealed in the temple. But what comes next? Enduring to the end of your life while protecting your conditioned worldview from the reality of your experience. That, and raising more obedient Mormon children so they don't fall away and make your own heaven into a lonely hell. The Mormons who lean into this conditioning end up with a lot on their shelf, especially when trying to filter out the good parts of life that pull their focus away from the finest points of Mormonism. Gotta think celestial, after all. I was one of these, fearing the smallest disobedience to the point of policing every thought. I loved temple sessions where I could feel like I was helping someone else reach an important spiritual milestone while knowing I was accepted and safe. When my shelf broke, though, that peace turned to cognitive dissonance, knowing I wasn't up to celestial standard, feeling a discontent that I could no longer deaden with the rest of my traitorous worldly emotions. This young missionary has yet to reach this point. He can still buy into the idea of a static, peaceful happily-ever-after with the hot wife he's earning through good mission numbers. I hope his landing is softer than mine was.
Dunno what motivates members to say they love the temple but I hated it. Went once before getting married in the temple and was shocked! It seemed so culty and nothing like what I expected. I went one more time after getting married, mainly to see the live one in the SL temple and same. I hated it.
I had mixed feelings about it. I loved the feeling of peace and quiet. But now I've learned to create that same feeling pretty much anywhere. I loved the feeling of being "righteous" dressed up in the robes of the holy priesthood. But now that's just 🤢 I enjoyed the spacey and nature parts of the movies but now I heard it's just a power point presentation. I loved being the quickest person to change robes & being the first one in the room to sit back down in my seat. One trick was to take the slippers off at the end then immediately put them back on. It gives you a headstart standing up to change robes & it makes it looks like you're done before you really are🤣 I hated the cognitive dissonance it created. Every time I went, I'd notice things that didn't make rational sense. I'd go to have a spiritual experience & strengthen my testimony only to leave with more confusion & frustration. The cognitive dissonance got so bad that I made the decision to stop going because I didn't want it to keep damaging my testimony 🤣
When I was a TBM, the celestial room was my favorite place to go when life was hectic and I needed to turn off everything. The rest of the temple, absolutely not. I was always weirded out my the rituals and that feeling never went away. But being able to go someplace where it was completely silent always felt like a special place. Looking at it now, it reminded me of snow which is why I loved it. That absolute silence that happens when it snows where all the noise of daily life goes away was what I sought in the temple.
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I got to where I loved everything about it. It was this cosmic mystery my brain wanted/needed to solve. It fascinated me when I would hear apostles/prophets say stuff along the lines of "I think I aaaalmost understand the endowment now." If THEY didn't understand it and were pals with JC then I clearly don't understand it. I'd analyze stupid stuff and try to make sense of it. I'd run across books from dead Mormons who would drop hints about "the truth". I'd listen to old people ramble on about their thoughts. I'd get a dopamine hit every time I had an "ah ha" moment. It was great! In the end it was clearly all made up. I now see them as tools to get people into paying more money to the Corp. They'll drop one pretty much anywhere in order to boost tithing.
I never thought it was spiritual. It was just "do this", "say that", "over here now", "slice your throat"...yuck.
FIL says the same. We should put his hospital bed there so he will be happy
I married outside the temple, so I never did the endowments thing, but BFtD scared the shit out of me. I never had a good experience, someone always yelled at me for something, and in the SLC temple, there’s a marble hallway that you cross thru that just gave me the willies so bad that I would have to close my eyes and run. I hated it and only did it maybe four times total.
Never really enjoyed the temple but enjoyed telling people I went!!! Made me feel so much better than those who didn't. PIMO now...I did flip the temple off a couple weeks ago as I drove by. Made me feel great!! I no longer judge people like that.