I was lucky because I was smart enough to realize that santa existing wasn't realistic. So I mentioned it to my dad and he was like "yeah, no. He doesn't exist. You're right son." He was still one of the more hardcore mormons, but he got even worse when he married my cow of a step mother. I will forever dislike her. Fuck that bitch. Love my dad though, even if he is a cunt.
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The week after my niece got baptized, her parents said she wasn't ready to commit to a new activity. Yet she's supposedly ready to commit to their religion for the rest of her life. 8 isn't even old enough to legally stay home alone in my state.
Yeah your kid has the right outlook for sure. Not freaking out about it will hopefully make the mormon kid look at you guys as more sane and help him down the line, whereas spazzing on the mormon parents will let them say "see, these people are satanic loonies we are protecting you from"
Youāre absolutely right. I was the one that was pissed and my son was literally nonplussed. āHis loss.ā Proud of my kids. Even living here in Utah, this is the first time we have (at least openly) faced this kind of situation. Most people have been totally cool.
At least they were up front about it. For my kids, it was the ghosting that stung. Some kids continued to hang out at school, because their parents didn't know. I felt bad for those kids and just tried to be kind. Some kids told me they just lied to their parents and said we were members, if they lived in another ward. Haha. Sneaky little buggers. I am amazed at the trust of the parents who think we are Mormon. They will just drop their kids without meeting us.
Crazy that parents think Mormon = safe... especially after all the sexual abuse cover ups that have come to light! I couldn't believe how many parents just dropped their kids off and left for my daughter's 4 yr old birthday party...many had never even met me!!
We are moving to Weber County soon and I was a little worried about this...I lived in Weber County as a kid and there were definitely kids that weren't allowed to play at my house because my Dad wasn't a member... I was hoping things weren't the same since that was a smaller town and 30 years ago..
I mentioned this in another response, but this is really the first time somebody has openly told one of my kids that they canāt hang out because we arenāt members. There are tons of very cool people up this way. I think anywhere you go, youāre going to have to deal with the overly dogmatic people as well.
Yeah I commented somewhere else on this thread about my experience but I experienced kids not being able to hang out both because I wasn't Mormon and then because I was...in completely different States... I'm hoping my kids can make good friends
Enjoy! I guess it depends on the where but Weber county has improved a lot of areas and brought in a lot more progressive folk. Most people I know that are from here, are now on this sub or been out for over ten years :)
That is great to know...I grew up in Plain City...folks weren't progressive, but that was the 80's-90's ..
South Ogden seems less remote ... I don't really care what anyone's beliefs are as long as they don't try to shove them down my throat, or try and judge me based off of their belief system..I'm looking forward to meeting new people :)
I grew up in weber as well and it wasn't extremely bad. You had your fair share of mormon lunatics but there where a lot more nevermos and exmos in the area, especially as I got older. The Roy/Syracuse/clinton/west haven area is becoming less and less dominated by Mormons. My TBM parents, who still live in the area, just had a huge reorganizing of the stake. I think they lost something like 2-3 wards.
Plus, when I was in high school (TBM at the time, on seminary counsel), one of the seminary teachers let slip in front of me that my high school had the worst attendance to member ratios in the whole state. That was only 7/8 years ago so I imagine it's only gotten worse for them, better for us, in recent years.
I was in Plain City in the 80's-90's it was pretty Mormon at the time...but it was a long time ago...I'm in Sandy now and a neighbor told me that over 50% of the people that were in the ward here didn't ever come back after Covid...
They were building Fremont High School just down the road from me right before I moved...last time I was there the town didn't look like it had physically changed much
I wouldn't be surprised if there were still a high concentration of Mormons over that way, but in the more suburbs and city parts of weber County, it seems to be less and less concentrated at least. I wouldn't know personally in the last 3 years though since I moved to Minnesota. I'm just going off of what I remember and what my family tell me lol
This resonates with me very much. The only difference is that the parents that donāt allow their children to come into our home is my brother and sister in law. The children are my nieces and nephews, my childrenās cousinsāwith whom they want to see and have friendships with. We left a handful of years ago and since then they have been cut off. Whatās worse is they live a few streets over and our kids go to the same school. They have conditioned their children to treat my children like strangers.
How can they claim to follow Christ and yet act so unlike him? Breaks my heart and I feel for my children. I wish I could brush it off as ātheir lossā, but in this instance I feel like we all lose.
> How can they claim to follow Christ and yet act so unlike him? Breaks my heart and I feel for my children. I wish I could brush it off as ātheir lossā, but in this instance I feel like we all lose.
Tribalism > Actual Morals
My brother and his wife "home schools" his 7 kids because he's afraid they would be bullied at school like he was at public school. Their kids are not allowed friends outside of church or family. Oddly enough, he was bullied because he was the kid that talked about church and how wonderful it was to everyone at school all the time. His oldest son still got bullied by other kids at church.
I, sorry you and your family has to go through that. This is exactly what Iām worried will happen with my family. We left the church and donāt talk about it much with my sister. Our oldest is trans though and looking to get on HRT in the near future. I worry that will be the breaking point and something my sister and her husband wonāt be able to get behind. My BIL is extreme right leaning and follows whatever his extreme parents tell him too. I just have a feeling things are going to go poorly and I lose my sister and her kids.
We had the same sort of thing and my TBM refused to use the childās new name. He , the trans boy, fought mental health issues all through his teens! The family tried to accept him but he really withdrew from all of us. Now he is 20 and doing pretty well! But he really keeps a big space between himself and all the rest of the familyās teens.
It is crazy that this is the church that claims to have so many family values, yet destroys so many families because they reject anyone who uses their brain or doesn't fit their little mold.
To be fair, "Blood is thicker than water" is a misquote that has come to mean the opposite of its original.
The original quote is "The blood of battle is thicker than water of the womb."
Ironically I've found the opposite to be true. Many kids see through the crap. Many of my favorite exmo friends were raised by strict bishops or stake presidents that essentially were so un-christlike at home that their kids learned early on that there was no way their dads were called of god. The house of cards falls apart quickly when you realize they're just playing church. I suspect the child in this case will resent his parents and be frustrated that he can't hang out with other nice kids because his parents are closed-minded bigots.
I went to Catholic school for awhile and they did more to kill my faith than almost anything else.
Why sure 7th grade teacher, itās totally believable and sane that god spoke to you specifically and told you to pick a certain kid to play Jesus in our Christmas play.
Now about all of those kids dying by themselves in Africaā¦
I was in a church play and showed up for first rehearsal wanting so badly to be a Roman soldier and said so. They needed a young Jesus and to my consternation they chose me. I was furious.
Yes! My Step Dad was a High Council member... super strict ... abusive and very un Christ like ... when I figured things out it all fell apart very fast!
The inspired callings never made sense to me with him as a teenager...like didn't God know he was an angry controlling abusive husband and father at home...even if church leaders didn't know...why would God call him?? Sadly I learned later many church leaders knew and called him anyway... they didn't care.
Hopefully he comes around eventually. But in this case, the Mormon kid has anti-Christ like attributes that heās learned from his parents. Hopefully he wonāt be like this when heās older.
No itās for real. Not letting your kids play with someone for being the āwrong religion ā (or no religion) is anti-Christ-like behavior. Which is ironic because Mormons claim to be like Christ. But nothing could be further from the truth. They are NOT like Christ.
The hero kid in this story is the non-member kid who forgave the atrocious behavior from the judgmental Mormon kid. Who is only that judgmental because his parents are.
āHey my son mentioned to me that so-and-so said he wasnāt allowed to come over to our house because we arenāt Mormon. Wanted to see if that was the case or if there was something more going on. We think so-and-so is a good kid and feel sad that he wonāt get to participate in get togethers with his friend group over here.ā
We should write that letter.
Since your family is a member of the Mormon faith who your own prophet has admitted that even saying the name is a victory for Satan. I whole heartedly agree that your child should not participate in the band. I feel your lack of Christian values is not in keeping with our family high moral standards. I was willing to let your son participate as an act of Christian charity and so that he could witness the light of Christ acting in our lives. May Christ speak to your heart and lead you out of spiritual captivity as members of Satans church.
Know that you are loved and valued.
( how is that for a starter? )
Hate to say it, christ may have taught that, but I was taught never to have non-mormon friends. So were most of my age group (raised in Bountiful Utah). I'll agree that people need to set examples of tolerance and kindness, but this kind of behavior should be met with shunning, and personally, I've met more if these kinds of people inside the Mormon church than outside of it.
āBut this kind of behavior should be met with shunning.ā
When has shunning (a negative behavior) ever bought on a positive result? Abuse someone to get them to coming around to your belief? Sounds like torture intended to break someone.
Or alternatively, it means, keep your twisted beliefs away from me as I don't need that negative behavior in my life. I'm all for letting them believe their beliefs, but I wouldn't want any child of mine to learn that it's ok to discriminate against someone because of their religion. Parents who encourage that should be shunned, which is the word I used because I can't think of a more fitting one BTW, into learning that their BS behavior is wrong (highly unlikely but hey anything is possible in theory)
Personally I have chosen to go a more active route. Even though I'm childless I have nieces, and honorary nieces and nephews. When I've seen that happen, I tell the kid doing it that he's not being very christlike and he should strive to do better. It's nice to see them start questioning whether or not I'm right, and on the singular occasion their parents tried picking a fight with me, one reference of "Odin give me strength" sent them running.
I won't fight the church, I'm not a multi billion dollar company with lawyers out the wazoo, but I will never stop trying to wake up any member of it I am forced to interact with. People deserve better.
I feel so bad for that kid that can't come bond with friends, and play music. His parents are making him miss out on experiences in life and he going to resent them for it.
Serious question: Is this really a thing? Mormons aren't supposed to go hangout with non-mormons? What about date/marriage? I ask, because when I was kid, our little circle had a mormon. He hung out with us all time.
Itās more there are certain families that are very afraid of any worldly influences on themselves and their children. Your buddyās parents were cool. I had tons of non-Mormon friends, but my biggest crush through junior high and high school (and one of my best friends) was Catholic and I straight up told her we couldnāt date because she wasnāt Mormon. I regret that a lot.
It's more a utah (valley) thing. When 80% of your neighbors are mormon, you can act like elitist douchebags and tell your kids they can only play with other mormons.Ā
When mormons live out of state suddenly it's ok to play with whoever.
Totally a Utah thing. I grew up outside of Utah and it was never even remotely how any mormons I knew acted. There was no suddenly. It just wasnāt - ever.
Dating non members wasnāt a problem either. I dated very few members and none seriously. My parents were very active and were completely cool with it. Such a jacked up attitude to forbid your kids from having a diverse group of friends.
Absolutely. I grew up with a Jack Mo and an ExMo parent. When I didn't get baptized at 8 I lost friends. Not only could they not come to my house, I couldn't go to their house either. Then they start telling an 8 year old kid that they're going to go to hell. Good times.
Oh yes, it is certainly a thing. It was my very first shelf item because I just could not wrap my head around it. My parents were TBM but military, so they had a better understanding that non Mos can be good people too, they never had a problem with me being friends with a nonmember.
We live in Washington (state). When my daughter was in middle school, her circle of friends included a Catholic, Lutheran, another denomination (I can't remember now) and a non-religious girl. We were happy that she had friends of other faiths and that they could share their similar and different beliefs with each other. My daughter is now almost 30 and is comfortable having friends of any faith (oh and my daughter left Mormonism a few years ago š).
Unfortunately, it IS a thing. I grew up in Layton, Utah in the 70's. (Lived in the Vae View subdivision). We had neighbors on the other side of the fence who weren't LDS, and we were told we couldn't go to their house to play or have them over to our house.
There are plenty of very well-behaved non-member boys, but they are often snubbed and skipped over when it comes to the LDS dating scene. Young Women are deeply indoctrinated and taught that they must date other members, and that they must marry a returned missionary.
At some of the meet-ups I've gone to, there have been a couple of recently divorced guys who have left the church, and they sometimes talk about what a joke the dating scene is in Utah. If they're not an active church-goer, or haven't served a mission, they often get skipped over. It's sad.
Definitely a thing. I can imagine the parents were probably thinking their kid was going to see a coffee maker, a bottle of beer in the fridge maybe even someone in a tank top
I think the commonality of it depends on where you live. Probably more common in Utah where there is a sinful amount of pride for being a member of the church but less common in the Midwest where wards are much farther apart.
Try to think of it the other way around. I dont want to be around Mormons if I can help it, I think they are delusional and dangerous so if my kid was suddenly bffs with a Mormon Id be watching them like a hawk. Especially with how prevalent sex abuse is in the church, kids often expose each other to things that have been done to them. Its rampant in youth groups, scout camps etc. Same feelings, but they are just delusional about right and wrong.
I'm so petty this would have me texting the parents myself saying my kid isn't welcome in their home either, and their son is welcome back in the band when his parents get the angel moroni out of their asses.
āĀ My dad said I canāt go to your house because you belong to a gerontocratic polygamist sex cult.ā
That actually happened several times in my childhood. Neighborhood parents didnāt want their kids around us in some cases. Ā
I burned my Mormon scriptures and posted the video on my exmo tt. Thatās when my Mormon friends discovered it and the parents of my daughterās closest friend said she couldnāt hang out with my daughter anymore.
This will make a great story after the band signs a big recording contract and does a world tour. They can talk about the āFifth Beatleā who came so close to wealth and fame.
I'm proud of your son. It's a weird feeling for a kid to be excluded because of religion.Ā
My twelve year old was in swimming lessons with a kid from our ward boundaries. The swim teacher asked my son to explain to the class how to do some swimming stroke. The member kid said, "my mom says I don't ever need to listen to you since you left the church. Your mom is going to hell and I bet you do too." My son was so embarrassed because there aren't a lot of members around where we live and nobody else in the class is a Mormon. I told him afterwards that it's okay, we're going to hell together and there won't be annoying mormons in hell, at least. He laughed about it, but I know it still bothered him to be told that by a former "friend."Ā
And his mom is the RS pres which made it more funny that she is full of judgement for me, not charity that never faileth lol.
Growing up Mormon I had friends that would let me go to their house but werenāt allowed to come to mine. So it does go both ways. Both are narrow minded and wrong.
My cousinās daughter had a āI canāt hang out with you because your mom is divorcedā moment. My cousin was still an active mormon and yet being ostracized still happened.
I grew up in Davis county and Salt Lake City in the 1940s and 1950s. We were not church members, but the majority of our friends and relatives were LDS , with varying degrees of involvement. I've been surprised in recent years to hear about so many cases of Mormon families shunning non-members. I was never conscious of this kind of thing while growing up. In the back of one's mind, everybody was certainly aware of who is a faithful member, who is a Jack Mormons, and who are the "something elses"; you might say that we all knew who drank Coca-Cola and who didn't. But it didn't seem to make a difference with regard to cordial relations. I can't recall anyone just being cut off.
In my own family's case, it may have made a difference that we were very much "ethnic Mormons", though not religious Mormons. Maybe this gave us some kind of honorary status. (ha ha)
Have the times changed, or was I just naive and not aware of people being shunned and excluded back then? Was I just too dumb to recognize what was going on, even in my high school years? If there's anybody here who remembers that era it would be interesting to hear your thoughts.
I think theyāre always those who are open and accepting of others and those who are closed off to others. I think you find that in any group. Religious or not. Iām glad you had a great experience, and I was a Coke drinking Mormon, lol. Not the decaffeinated stuff either, we went for the hard stuff!
The sad thing is what those TBM parents are doing to their own son who probably really wants to be in the band and have fun. Those parents are robbing their son of the joys he has a right to experience with his friends. Can you imagine what he'll go through when they all go to school and talk about the fun they're having and he can't be with his friends? I'd say can you call that kid's parents? Tell them what they're doing to their own son. That his chances of leaving the church bc of them just increased exponentially
One of the reasons Iām glad we left Utah not long after we quit going to church. I knew that would happen.
Funnily enough, we lived in small town Texas for a few years. One neighbor kid said my kids had horns because they were Mormon and they were going to hell. That was lovely.
I have no idea.
I know one of my nephews had a hard time dating in high school since he wasnāt active and all the girls wanted a RM.
Iām 50. Missions werenāt as common when I grew up in Salt Lake Valley. Now, itās a requirement practically.
According to the handbook updates, it's "Hello, fellow rising generation."
The more a shelf sags, the more parts of life TBMs have to cut out to feel secure in their testimony.
Dude, walk out one day and tell your kid and his friends to play louder, they will love it.
Secondly, thank you for the word GERONTOCRATIC. Super cool word I've never heard or seen before.
+10pts
Well then Jesus should have restricted his associates to the clergy, Pharisees, sadducees and scribes and not with whores, polys, former murderers and thieves.
I recall being taught that āloud musicā, metal, and rave environments drive The Spirit away. I heard stories where young people who went to concerts were possessed by demons.
Does anyone have references for such stories?
No references, but I heard the exact same stuff. My dad was so against rock music that when I first heard some legitimate rock ānā roll and felt amazing, it put a lot of weight on my shelf. To this day, I still listen to heavy music and I get that same feeling I used to getāthe feeling I associated with the spirit. Turns out Holy the Ghost loves him some really heavy music, lol
The "spirit" needs to man up. I thought spirits were supposed to scare US, not the other way around!
There was some guy named Lynn Bryson who went around speaking at firesides, and would talk about the so-called evils of rock music. There's a youtube clip called "The rock and roll" fireside that he did.
Love how you handled this! Our kids arenāt as entrenched/indoctrinated in it as we were. We stopped being active 1 year ago and my husband and I will occasionally talk about stuff and my kids will say āStop talking about it and move on with your life. Itās not that big of a deal.ā Itās a process and Iām happy my kids are doing well.
Moved to Bountiful Utah in the late 70ās as a nevermo at 8 years old. Neighbors played with me until they realized I wouldnāt convert. One morning 6 of them came over and said their bishop told them they couldnāt play with me. Today only one of them is still in the church.
Actually that happened to me several times as a kid growing up in a SLC suburb in the 1970s. My parents were called to pick me up or were told that I wasnāt allowed to play with the nonMormon and Exmormon kids I befriended at school
Ā My parents were LDS but totally cool with me hanging out with people from other religions and many of their own good friends werenāt Mormon either. They never even asked about my friendsā religious backgrounds unless they got one of those parental messagesĀ
We let our 14 year old go to a movie with her best friend, non-Mormon, no problem. But found out the next day it was R-rated. I know I should have asked in advance what movie but in the rush of life I didnāt.
I know I need to be more careful and ask more questions. I donāt even know which movie it was. Both girls are gone for the week. This parenting gig is tough! I guess I will just have to try harder! I do not fear the judgement of her friend, wait I do not want to be judged by the friendās mother or one the other hand by her member friends parents when they find out! And I am sure they will. Our whole family may be on the āoutā list before we are ready!
Thatās super gross. Iām sorry!
We have had pretty good luck in our neighborhood: there are a lot of ex, never Mo, and LQBTQ families, and there hasnāt been much discrimination against my kids. However, one kid told my kid āyouāre not going to Star because you donāt go to church!ā He meant celestial kingdom. They were like 1st grade, and we still laugh about it now, especially since that kid turned out to be a bit of a neāer-do-well.
It seems like most good parents would want their kids to learn lots of ideas & be around diverse people but I guess not! My brother wonāt even send his kids to school because they might learn non-Mormon and worldly ideas.
To be fair, I grew up in the Midwest. Two different times in high school boys told me their parents said we had to break up because I was Mormon. One was a Methodist preacherās son, and the other was from a devout Lutheran family. Religion, man.
Yeah, one of my greatest regrets is that I did the same to my high school crush because she was Catholic. We were such a goods match and we both knew it. I was so proud of myself for doing the right thing. Fast forward and my now ex and I married in the temple but were so incompatible that we finally divorced. No use thinking about what might have been, but those decisions were made because of religion.
wow this very sad to hear i absolutely hate hearing these types of stories itās so sad for the kids bc they didnāt have much of an understanding of whatās going on. they feel like they did something wrong it almost feels like a popularity contest the were too cool to be around you you canāt sit with us type of shit. itās a religion thatās very cliquish mormons typically only hang out with other members only they typically end up marrying people that are also of their same faith. they typically only watch things that are considered appropriate for their standards and follow other mormon influencers only. itās something that gets drilled into their heads from very early on. it does become more extreme over the years once kids enter middle school is the time you really start to see leaders drill this shit in their heads.
I am sorry your kid has to experience this. I haaaate this part of living in Utah so much. I grew up in a part-member family and was the only one going to church for years. I was, of course, praised and love-bombed for it. However, when anyone's parents would learn that our house had a coffee maker, they could no longer come over.
Now, as an exmo, my 14 year old is experiencing the same kind of thing. We moved back to Utah after 20 years in Colorado, and making friends has proven difficult here.
As a sidenote, my kid plays guitar, too. We're in Davis county, and I bet he'd totally be game to hang out with the band, if they need someone.š¤
I hope your son can find lots of amazing friends that arenāt ran by a billion dollar church! But seriously itās so funny that in a just a few years those parents will beg their kid to harass non-members at their houses. Good on your boy for knowing who he is and not caring about some cult members!!
My best friend has lived in Vegas since 1980. She is amazingly kind, smart, and loving. When her kids were in school, they found out very quickly how excluded the non Mormons are. My family in Idaho discovered the same thing.
Now, I live in AZ and can see for myself how strangely bizarre things are with this group. Think- VISIONS OF GLORY and Ruby Franke- so much weirdness.
Your son is a smart kiddo!
After I learned the truth about the church and all the sexual abuse I became worried about my kids being friends with church members...so glad your son had a good attitude about it - I would've been pissed, but at the same time wouldn't want my kids anywhere near that kids' parents.
My 1st 13 years of life I lived in Utah and kids weren't allowed to play with us because my Dad wasn't Mormon, my Mom was but my Dad wasn't and wouldn't let us get baptized...so we went to church and activities l, but us kids weren't technically members so other kids weren't allowed to come to our house...then my parents got divorced and we moved to SE TX with my Mom and there were kids that weren't allowed to come to our house because we were Mormon cult members! Luckily that specific parent came around and eventually let me and her daughter become friends...I didn't know at the time, but I was a bridesmaid at my friends wedding years later and her Mom told me that she was so glad that they decided to let us be friends, that when we first moved there they had told her she couldn't be my friend because we were cult members...turns out they were right...
Tbh I agree with your son, if thatās the reason then wouldnāt want to be friends with them anyway. Itās funny as a non religious person that religious people follow Jesus and he preached acceptance but they love to be non accepting
We were in the Salt Lake valley since my kids were born. Middle school is when my oldest was pushed to the "bad kids" crowd because he isn't Mormon. By the time he got to highschool he had been told by his peers he was bad so often he started to act bad, and had bad anxiety. We moved to the Bible belt and now he has completely turned round. Even though there are very religious people here, there are several denominations and they don't really shun people in the same way. He said he is happy for the first time since he was a kid. It broke my heart, but also made me happy that he is now happy.
According to MFing Bednar...Ā Free agency, personal opinionsĀ and individualism are mere myths.Ā Ā Ā
**YOU SIGNED ON WHEN YOU WERE BAPTIZED AT EIGHT, GODDAMMIT!!!**
Welcome to the club. We live in the south. My two teenage children have two dads and have been on the receiving end of this type of exclusion. Consider it a gift. You and your kids can quickly identify the jerks in your world to avoid. Ā whatās left are the cool people that you want in your life.
Congrats!
This is a good lesson to your son about how people actually are. His response was very mature, it really is his friendās loss, not his friendās fault mind you. Thatās the parents, Iām sure they think they are āprotectingā him but they are handicapping him instead.
As a practicing Catholic, I grew up in Monticello, Utah back in the 80s. I was told I was a heathen by one of my Mormon classmates. As a young kid I had no clue what that word meant. My parents didnāt teach me to call others that nor judge people on their religion. I had a close call with conversion to Mormonism when I was 15. When I backed out of becoming baptized I became ostracized by all of my āfriendsā. After graduating and leaving Monticello I continued to have one good Mormon friend throughout my lifeāthough he again tried to convert me this last year. I told him I wasnāt interested. Since then he rarely keeps in touch. Guess I was always a target for conversion.
Wow. This is awful. Please don't shun the kid and say, "Oh well. It's his loss." It's not his fault. He has sucky parents. He probably wants to be included. I would feel bad for him. Lead by example, try to include him where you can, don't shun him because his parents are idiots. Perhaps the parents can chat together about the situation and come up with a solution,, or find another place to meet. It may not be possible to reason with them, but it might be worth a try. At least then, the kid would know that you want to include him, and that you are not the idiots.
Funny how 8 is old enough to choose a religion, but not your friends. Age of accountability my ass, Mormons don't even believe that shit.
Sooooo true
And do a poll to see how many 8 year olds still believe in Santa!
I was lucky because I was smart enough to realize that santa existing wasn't realistic. So I mentioned it to my dad and he was like "yeah, no. He doesn't exist. You're right son." He was still one of the more hardcore mormons, but he got even worse when he married my cow of a step mother. I will forever dislike her. Fuck that bitch. Love my dad though, even if he is a cunt.
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Wait... What? š š
The week after my niece got baptized, her parents said she wasn't ready to commit to a new activity. Yet she's supposedly ready to commit to their religion for the rest of her life. 8 isn't even old enough to legally stay home alone in my state.
And 18 is old enough to go to other countries to tell them how the universe works bc they have all the answers right
What are you talking about? EVERYONE gets accountability to be used for making the right choices!!
Iād never thought of it that way (grew up fully committed), but looking at things now, youāre so right.
What would happen if you asked to be baptized in the Baptist church?
Yeah your kid has the right outlook for sure. Not freaking out about it will hopefully make the mormon kid look at you guys as more sane and help him down the line, whereas spazzing on the mormon parents will let them say "see, these people are satanic loonies we are protecting you from"
Youāre absolutely right. I was the one that was pissed and my son was literally nonplussed. āHis loss.ā Proud of my kids. Even living here in Utah, this is the first time we have (at least openly) faced this kind of situation. Most people have been totally cool.
At least they were up front about it. For my kids, it was the ghosting that stung. Some kids continued to hang out at school, because their parents didn't know. I felt bad for those kids and just tried to be kind. Some kids told me they just lied to their parents and said we were members, if they lived in another ward. Haha. Sneaky little buggers. I am amazed at the trust of the parents who think we are Mormon. They will just drop their kids without meeting us.
Crazy that parents think Mormon = safe... especially after all the sexual abuse cover ups that have come to light! I couldn't believe how many parents just dropped their kids off and left for my daughter's 4 yr old birthday party...many had never even met me!!
Utah county?
Weber county
We are moving to Weber County soon and I was a little worried about this...I lived in Weber County as a kid and there were definitely kids that weren't allowed to play at my house because my Dad wasn't a member... I was hoping things weren't the same since that was a smaller town and 30 years ago..
I mentioned this in another response, but this is really the first time somebody has openly told one of my kids that they canāt hang out because we arenāt members. There are tons of very cool people up this way. I think anywhere you go, youāre going to have to deal with the overly dogmatic people as well.
Yeah I commented somewhere else on this thread about my experience but I experienced kids not being able to hang out both because I wasn't Mormon and then because I was...in completely different States... I'm hoping my kids can make good friends
Lol Weber is great come join the fun!
We should be there in a month or 2...we have been building a house in So Ogden for like 8 years now...its almost done lol
Enjoy! I guess it depends on the where but Weber county has improved a lot of areas and brought in a lot more progressive folk. Most people I know that are from here, are now on this sub or been out for over ten years :)
That is great to know...I grew up in Plain City...folks weren't progressive, but that was the 80's-90's .. South Ogden seems less remote ... I don't really care what anyone's beliefs are as long as they don't try to shove them down my throat, or try and judge me based off of their belief system..I'm looking forward to meeting new people :)
I grew up in weber as well and it wasn't extremely bad. You had your fair share of mormon lunatics but there where a lot more nevermos and exmos in the area, especially as I got older. The Roy/Syracuse/clinton/west haven area is becoming less and less dominated by Mormons. My TBM parents, who still live in the area, just had a huge reorganizing of the stake. I think they lost something like 2-3 wards. Plus, when I was in high school (TBM at the time, on seminary counsel), one of the seminary teachers let slip in front of me that my high school had the worst attendance to member ratios in the whole state. That was only 7/8 years ago so I imagine it's only gotten worse for them, better for us, in recent years.
I was in Plain City in the 80's-90's it was pretty Mormon at the time...but it was a long time ago...I'm in Sandy now and a neighbor told me that over 50% of the people that were in the ward here didn't ever come back after Covid... They were building Fremont High School just down the road from me right before I moved...last time I was there the town didn't look like it had physically changed much
I wouldn't be surprised if there were still a high concentration of Mormons over that way, but in the more suburbs and city parts of weber County, it seems to be less and less concentrated at least. I wouldn't know personally in the last 3 years though since I moved to Minnesota. I'm just going off of what I remember and what my family tell me lol
This resonates with me very much. The only difference is that the parents that donāt allow their children to come into our home is my brother and sister in law. The children are my nieces and nephews, my childrenās cousinsāwith whom they want to see and have friendships with. We left a handful of years ago and since then they have been cut off. Whatās worse is they live a few streets over and our kids go to the same school. They have conditioned their children to treat my children like strangers. How can they claim to follow Christ and yet act so unlike him? Breaks my heart and I feel for my children. I wish I could brush it off as ātheir lossā, but in this instance I feel like we all lose.
> How can they claim to follow Christ and yet act so unlike him? Breaks my heart and I feel for my children. I wish I could brush it off as ātheir lossā, but in this instance I feel like we all lose. Tribalism > Actual Morals
My brother and his wife "home schools" his 7 kids because he's afraid they would be bullied at school like he was at public school. Their kids are not allowed friends outside of church or family. Oddly enough, he was bullied because he was the kid that talked about church and how wonderful it was to everyone at school all the time. His oldest son still got bullied by other kids at church.
I, sorry you and your family has to go through that. This is exactly what Iām worried will happen with my family. We left the church and donāt talk about it much with my sister. Our oldest is trans though and looking to get on HRT in the near future. I worry that will be the breaking point and something my sister and her husband wonāt be able to get behind. My BIL is extreme right leaning and follows whatever his extreme parents tell him too. I just have a feeling things are going to go poorly and I lose my sister and her kids.
We had the same sort of thing and my TBM refused to use the childās new name. He , the trans boy, fought mental health issues all through his teens! The family tried to accept him but he really withdrew from all of us. Now he is 20 and doing pretty well! But he really keeps a big space between himself and all the rest of the familyās teens.
Kudos for being a mom that protects your children and allows them to be their authentic selves.
I mean, Jesus did saying that we have to hate our family if we want to follow him.
That's fucken rude
It is crazy that this is the church that claims to have so many family values, yet destroys so many families because they reject anyone who uses their brain or doesn't fit their little mold.
That is rough! We taught blood was thicker than water (even baptism) Family is family for life!
To be fair, "Blood is thicker than water" is a misquote that has come to mean the opposite of its original. The original quote is "The blood of battle is thicker than water of the womb."
Thatās when you know itās a cult.
Anti-Christ like parents raise Anti-Christ like kids.
Ironically I've found the opposite to be true. Many kids see through the crap. Many of my favorite exmo friends were raised by strict bishops or stake presidents that essentially were so un-christlike at home that their kids learned early on that there was no way their dads were called of god. The house of cards falls apart quickly when you realize they're just playing church. I suspect the child in this case will resent his parents and be frustrated that he can't hang out with other nice kids because his parents are closed-minded bigots.
I went to Catholic school for awhile and they did more to kill my faith than almost anything else. Why sure 7th grade teacher, itās totally believable and sane that god spoke to you specifically and told you to pick a certain kid to play Jesus in our Christmas play. Now about all of those kids dying by themselves in Africaā¦
I was in a church play and showed up for first rehearsal wanting so badly to be a Roman soldier and said so. They needed a young Jesus and to my consternation they chose me. I was furious.
Yea. I told my dad if he had taken me to burning man when I was a kid instead of church I probably would have married a pastor by now.Ā
Yes! My Step Dad was a High Council member... super strict ... abusive and very un Christ like ... when I figured things out it all fell apart very fast! The inspired callings never made sense to me with him as a teenager...like didn't God know he was an angry controlling abusive husband and father at home...even if church leaders didn't know...why would God call him?? Sadly I learned later many church leaders knew and called him anyway... they didn't care.
Hopefully he comes around eventually. But in this case, the Mormon kid has anti-Christ like attributes that heās learned from his parents. Hopefully he wonāt be like this when heās older.
The username makes me think this is a sarcastic comment lol
Or compliment š¤
Lmao, exactly
No itās for real. Not letting your kids play with someone for being the āwrong religion ā (or no religion) is anti-Christ-like behavior. Which is ironic because Mormons claim to be like Christ. But nothing could be further from the truth. They are NOT like Christ. The hero kid in this story is the non-member kid who forgave the atrocious behavior from the judgmental Mormon kid. Who is only that judgmental because his parents are.
Oooohhhh I see
āHey my son mentioned to me that so-and-so said he wasnāt allowed to come over to our house because we arenāt Mormon. Wanted to see if that was the case or if there was something more going on. We think so-and-so is a good kid and feel sad that he wonāt get to participate in get togethers with his friend group over here.ā
Itās a good way to hold them accountable. If a person is going to be shitty, they need to be responsible for their shit and own it.
Ya itās one of those things a Mormon parent would say and then flop right over when confronted about it.
Exactly. I love calling people on shit so they have to own shirty behavior.
Masterfully said
We should write that letter. Since your family is a member of the Mormon faith who your own prophet has admitted that even saying the name is a victory for Satan. I whole heartedly agree that your child should not participate in the band. I feel your lack of Christian values is not in keeping with our family high moral standards. I was willing to let your son participate as an act of Christian charity and so that he could witness the light of Christ acting in our lives. May Christ speak to your heart and lead you out of spiritual captivity as members of Satans church. Know that you are loved and valued. ( how is that for a starter? )
Perfect!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Thatās why itās a joke , itās kind of like using the uno reverse card on them trying to exclude his son.
Hate to say it, christ may have taught that, but I was taught never to have non-mormon friends. So were most of my age group (raised in Bountiful Utah). I'll agree that people need to set examples of tolerance and kindness, but this kind of behavior should be met with shunning, and personally, I've met more if these kinds of people inside the Mormon church than outside of it.
āBut this kind of behavior should be met with shunning.ā When has shunning (a negative behavior) ever bought on a positive result? Abuse someone to get them to coming around to your belief? Sounds like torture intended to break someone.
Or alternatively, it means, keep your twisted beliefs away from me as I don't need that negative behavior in my life. I'm all for letting them believe their beliefs, but I wouldn't want any child of mine to learn that it's ok to discriminate against someone because of their religion. Parents who encourage that should be shunned, which is the word I used because I can't think of a more fitting one BTW, into learning that their BS behavior is wrong (highly unlikely but hey anything is possible in theory) Personally I have chosen to go a more active route. Even though I'm childless I have nieces, and honorary nieces and nephews. When I've seen that happen, I tell the kid doing it that he's not being very christlike and he should strive to do better. It's nice to see them start questioning whether or not I'm right, and on the singular occasion their parents tried picking a fight with me, one reference of "Odin give me strength" sent them running. I won't fight the church, I'm not a multi billion dollar company with lawyers out the wazoo, but I will never stop trying to wake up any member of it I am forced to interact with. People deserve better.
Ohhhhā¦ lots of TBM here to day. I can tell by the down votes. Keep the down votes coming.
I feel so bad for that kid that can't come bond with friends, and play music. His parents are making him miss out on experiences in life and he going to resent them for it.
I feel the same. If anything, these measures backfire in the end. Heāll most likely reach a point where he just stops listening to his parents.
Serious question: Is this really a thing? Mormons aren't supposed to go hangout with non-mormons? What about date/marriage? I ask, because when I was kid, our little circle had a mormon. He hung out with us all time.
Itās more there are certain families that are very afraid of any worldly influences on themselves and their children. Your buddyās parents were cool. I had tons of non-Mormon friends, but my biggest crush through junior high and high school (and one of my best friends) was Catholic and I straight up told her we couldnāt date because she wasnāt Mormon. I regret that a lot.
Interesting. Thank you for the reply.
Dating and marriage with non-Mormons is usually discouraged. Banning kids from having non-Mormon friends is rare, though.
It's more a utah (valley) thing. When 80% of your neighbors are mormon, you can act like elitist douchebags and tell your kids they can only play with other mormons.Ā When mormons live out of state suddenly it's ok to play with whoever.
Totally a Utah thing. I grew up outside of Utah and it was never even remotely how any mormons I knew acted. There was no suddenly. It just wasnāt - ever. Dating non members wasnāt a problem either. I dated very few members and none seriously. My parents were very active and were completely cool with it. Such a jacked up attitude to forbid your kids from having a diverse group of friends.
I grew up in the 80s/90s. My parents and I were members but not active, and even that meant that some mormon kids weren't allowed to play with me.
Absolutely. I grew up with a Jack Mo and an ExMo parent. When I didn't get baptized at 8 I lost friends. Not only could they not come to my house, I couldn't go to their house either. Then they start telling an 8 year old kid that they're going to go to hell. Good times.
Oh yes, it is certainly a thing. It was my very first shelf item because I just could not wrap my head around it. My parents were TBM but military, so they had a better understanding that non Mos can be good people too, they never had a problem with me being friends with a nonmember.
Itās a Utah thing. Where did you grow up?
California.
Makes sense. When Mormons are the minority, itās different.
We live in Washington (state). When my daughter was in middle school, her circle of friends included a Catholic, Lutheran, another denomination (I can't remember now) and a non-religious girl. We were happy that she had friends of other faiths and that they could share their similar and different beliefs with each other. My daughter is now almost 30 and is comfortable having friends of any faith (oh and my daughter left Mormonism a few years ago š).
Unfortunately, it IS a thing. I grew up in Layton, Utah in the 70's. (Lived in the Vae View subdivision). We had neighbors on the other side of the fence who weren't LDS, and we were told we couldn't go to their house to play or have them over to our house. There are plenty of very well-behaved non-member boys, but they are often snubbed and skipped over when it comes to the LDS dating scene. Young Women are deeply indoctrinated and taught that they must date other members, and that they must marry a returned missionary. At some of the meet-ups I've gone to, there have been a couple of recently divorced guys who have left the church, and they sometimes talk about what a joke the dating scene is in Utah. If they're not an active church-goer, or haven't served a mission, they often get skipped over. It's sad.
I remember this being a "sunday only" rule for some of my mormon friends. Along with not being allowed to swim on Sunday.
As a nevermo that grew up in small town, Utah, this is šÆ a thing
Definitely a thing. I can imagine the parents were probably thinking their kid was going to see a coffee maker, a bottle of beer in the fridge maybe even someone in a tank top
I think the commonality of it depends on where you live. Probably more common in Utah where there is a sinful amount of pride for being a member of the church but less common in the Midwest where wards are much farther apart.
One wonders how the get converts if no one will hang with heathens?
Try to think of it the other way around. I dont want to be around Mormons if I can help it, I think they are delusional and dangerous so if my kid was suddenly bffs with a Mormon Id be watching them like a hawk. Especially with how prevalent sex abuse is in the church, kids often expose each other to things that have been done to them. Its rampant in youth groups, scout camps etc. Same feelings, but they are just delusional about right and wrong.
This is a great point! Thanks š
I'm so petty this would have me texting the parents myself saying my kid isn't welcome in their home either, and their son is welcome back in the band when his parents get the angel moroni out of their asses.
Out of their asses and sitting in with the band on trumpet.
Maybe you should send that text message to the parents and see what happens.
āĀ My dad said I canāt go to your house because you belong to a gerontocratic polygamist sex cult.ā That actually happened several times in my childhood. Neighborhood parents didnāt want their kids around us in some cases. Ā
"Gerontocratic Polygamist Sex Cult". A great characterization! Suddenly it's obvious why all new McTemples MUST have a phallic spire.
"...because your prophets have secretly raped teenagers in the name of their god"
I burned my Mormon scriptures and posted the video on my exmo tt. Thatās when my Mormon friends discovered it and the parents of my daughterās closest friend said she couldnāt hang out with my daughter anymore.
This will make a great story after the band signs a big recording contract and does a world tour. They can talk about the āFifth Beatleā who came so close to wealth and fame.
I told him that maybe they shouldnāt have named their band āThroat Punching Jesus.ā (J/k, they have yet to choose a name)
Unfortunately, I've seen this happen a lot where I live. Sad.
I'm proud of your son. It's a weird feeling for a kid to be excluded because of religion.Ā My twelve year old was in swimming lessons with a kid from our ward boundaries. The swim teacher asked my son to explain to the class how to do some swimming stroke. The member kid said, "my mom says I don't ever need to listen to you since you left the church. Your mom is going to hell and I bet you do too." My son was so embarrassed because there aren't a lot of members around where we live and nobody else in the class is a Mormon. I told him afterwards that it's okay, we're going to hell together and there won't be annoying mormons in hell, at least. He laughed about it, but I know it still bothered him to be told that by a former "friend."Ā And his mom is the RS pres which made it more funny that she is full of judgement for me, not charity that never faileth lol.
Wow. Seriously, a heaven full of people like that would be hell. Good on you and your son. Weāll be in hell with you š
Growing up Mormon I had friends that would let me go to their house but werenāt allowed to come to mine. So it does go both ways. Both are narrow minded and wrong.
I'm guessing their parents did it because of their religion. I would consider that the same way, not both ways.
NOT A CULT!
I'm proud of your son, too. It seriously brought a tear to my eye.
My cousinās daughter had a āI canāt hang out with you because your mom is divorcedā moment. My cousin was still an active mormon and yet being ostracized still happened.
Geez, seriously? If thatās the case, I would get double dinged, lol.
I grew up in Davis county and Salt Lake City in the 1940s and 1950s. We were not church members, but the majority of our friends and relatives were LDS , with varying degrees of involvement. I've been surprised in recent years to hear about so many cases of Mormon families shunning non-members. I was never conscious of this kind of thing while growing up. In the back of one's mind, everybody was certainly aware of who is a faithful member, who is a Jack Mormons, and who are the "something elses"; you might say that we all knew who drank Coca-Cola and who didn't. But it didn't seem to make a difference with regard to cordial relations. I can't recall anyone just being cut off. In my own family's case, it may have made a difference that we were very much "ethnic Mormons", though not religious Mormons. Maybe this gave us some kind of honorary status. (ha ha) Have the times changed, or was I just naive and not aware of people being shunned and excluded back then? Was I just too dumb to recognize what was going on, even in my high school years? If there's anybody here who remembers that era it would be interesting to hear your thoughts.
I think theyāre always those who are open and accepting of others and those who are closed off to others. I think you find that in any group. Religious or not. Iām glad you had a great experience, and I was a Coke drinking Mormon, lol. Not the decaffeinated stuff either, we went for the hard stuff!
The sad thing is what those TBM parents are doing to their own son who probably really wants to be in the band and have fun. Those parents are robbing their son of the joys he has a right to experience with his friends. Can you imagine what he'll go through when they all go to school and talk about the fun they're having and he can't be with his friends? I'd say can you call that kid's parents? Tell them what they're doing to their own son. That his chances of leaving the church bc of them just increased exponentially
One of the reasons Iām glad we left Utah not long after we quit going to church. I knew that would happen. Funnily enough, we lived in small town Texas for a few years. One neighbor kid said my kids had horns because they were Mormon and they were going to hell. That was lovely.
Donāt you love how even young kids learn how to weaponize the idea of hell?
I have no idea. I know one of my nephews had a hard time dating in high school since he wasnāt active and all the girls wanted a RM. Iām 50. Missions werenāt as common when I grew up in Salt Lake Valley. Now, itās a requirement practically.
According to the handbook updates, it's "Hello, fellow rising generation." The more a shelf sags, the more parts of life TBMs have to cut out to feel secure in their testimony.
Dude, walk out one day and tell your kid and his friends to play louder, they will love it. Secondly, thank you for the word GERONTOCRATIC. Super cool word I've never heard or seen before. +10pts
Iām totally going to do that!!! Thanks for the idea to get instant ācool dadā points!
Didnāt know this crap was still happening in 2024.
Well then Jesus should have restricted his associates to the clergy, Pharisees, sadducees and scribes and not with whores, polys, former murderers and thieves.
I recall being taught that āloud musicā, metal, and rave environments drive The Spirit away. I heard stories where young people who went to concerts were possessed by demons. Does anyone have references for such stories?
No references, but I heard the exact same stuff. My dad was so against rock music that when I first heard some legitimate rock ānā roll and felt amazing, it put a lot of weight on my shelf. To this day, I still listen to heavy music and I get that same feeling I used to getāthe feeling I associated with the spirit. Turns out Holy the Ghost loves him some really heavy music, lol
Holy the Ghost š Please don't edit this
The "spirit" needs to man up. I thought spirits were supposed to scare US, not the other way around! There was some guy named Lynn Bryson who went around speaking at firesides, and would talk about the so-called evils of rock music. There's a youtube clip called "The rock and roll" fireside that he did.
Love how you handled this! Our kids arenāt as entrenched/indoctrinated in it as we were. We stopped being active 1 year ago and my husband and I will occasionally talk about stuff and my kids will say āStop talking about it and move on with your life. Itās not that big of a deal.ā Itās a process and Iām happy my kids are doing well.
Kudos to you and your son.ā”
I would shame the shit outta those parents.....
Moved to Bountiful Utah in the late 70ās as a nevermo at 8 years old. Neighbors played with me until they realized I wouldnāt convert. One morning 6 of them came over and said their bishop told them they couldnāt play with me. Today only one of them is still in the church.
Some actually apologized
Iām willing to bet they feel bad about how they treated you now.
Actually that happened to me several times as a kid growing up in a SLC suburb in the 1970s. My parents were called to pick me up or were told that I wasnāt allowed to play with the nonMormon and Exmormon kids I befriended at school Ā My parents were LDS but totally cool with me hanging out with people from other religions and many of their own good friends werenāt Mormon either. They never even asked about my friendsā religious backgrounds unless they got one of those parental messagesĀ
Your son handled this perfectly! This says something about how youāre raising him. Good job!
We let our 14 year old go to a movie with her best friend, non-Mormon, no problem. But found out the next day it was R-rated. I know I should have asked in advance what movie but in the rush of life I didnāt. I know I need to be more careful and ask more questions. I donāt even know which movie it was. Both girls are gone for the week. This parenting gig is tough! I guess I will just have to try harder! I do not fear the judgement of her friend, wait I do not want to be judged by the friendās mother or one the other hand by her member friends parents when they find out! And I am sure they will. Our whole family may be on the āoutā list before we are ready!
This happens too much in the church. Sadly the people have ruined it for everyone. Sorry this happened to your son.
Thatās super gross. Iām sorry! We have had pretty good luck in our neighborhood: there are a lot of ex, never Mo, and LQBTQ families, and there hasnāt been much discrimination against my kids. However, one kid told my kid āyouāre not going to Star because you donāt go to church!ā He meant celestial kingdom. They were like 1st grade, and we still laugh about it now, especially since that kid turned out to be a bit of a neāer-do-well. It seems like most good parents would want their kids to learn lots of ideas & be around diverse people but I guess not! My brother wonāt even send his kids to school because they might learn non-Mormon and worldly ideas.
Points for using neāer-do-well!
Is this Utah?
Yeah
My brothers and I had a few of those when we were kids. Guess who wants to get bears with us now. Let your son know It means nothing.
Your son has enough self esteem to see through the b.s. Well done. My fear would be that the others in the band may follow.
Cutting out friends due to apostates. That's a real smart way to parent š!
I mean I am honestly sus of letting my kid go over to Mormon families' houses
Eh, who wants a TBM in their band anyhow?
Apocalyptic Death and Sexual Control Cult
I knew people who did this growing up. My mom didn't do that so I had tons of non momo friends in southern Utah County.
Blessing in disguise. Bravo to your son.... he apparently can think for himself.
Thank you! Heās a pretty awesome kid, for sure.
Soooo unchristian like. His friend forgot about the primary song Iām trying to be like Jesus.
aw
To be fair, I grew up in the Midwest. Two different times in high school boys told me their parents said we had to break up because I was Mormon. One was a Methodist preacherās son, and the other was from a devout Lutheran family. Religion, man.
Yeah, one of my greatest regrets is that I did the same to my high school crush because she was Catholic. We were such a goods match and we both knew it. I was so proud of myself for doing the right thing. Fast forward and my now ex and I married in the temple but were so incompatible that we finally divorced. No use thinking about what might have been, but those decisions were made because of religion.
wow this very sad to hear i absolutely hate hearing these types of stories itās so sad for the kids bc they didnāt have much of an understanding of whatās going on. they feel like they did something wrong it almost feels like a popularity contest the were too cool to be around you you canāt sit with us type of shit. itās a religion thatās very cliquish mormons typically only hang out with other members only they typically end up marrying people that are also of their same faith. they typically only watch things that are considered appropriate for their standards and follow other mormon influencers only. itās something that gets drilled into their heads from very early on. it does become more extreme over the years once kids enter middle school is the time you really start to see leaders drill this shit in their heads.
I am sorry your kid has to experience this. I haaaate this part of living in Utah so much. I grew up in a part-member family and was the only one going to church for years. I was, of course, praised and love-bombed for it. However, when anyone's parents would learn that our house had a coffee maker, they could no longer come over. Now, as an exmo, my 14 year old is experiencing the same kind of thing. We moved back to Utah after 20 years in Colorado, and making friends has proven difficult here. As a sidenote, my kid plays guitar, too. We're in Davis county, and I bet he'd totally be game to hang out with the band, if they need someone.š¤
Thatās the right age group! Weāre in Weber County.
What does a coffee maker have to do with it??
It should be meaningless, but mormons are afraid of coffee drinkers.
Wha???Ā Sheesh, bad enough I'm a lesbian, but now I'm even worse for coffee drinking?? š¤£š¤£š¤£ Is tea ok at least?
No, actually. š¤£ Your tea is evil, too, though some say that herbal teas are acceptable. There are enough arbitrary rules to make your head spin.
Oooh, give me some more! I need a laugh!
This is why I'm glad that I grew up outside Utah. Most of my friends weren't Mormon by necessity, and who were weren't that judgy.
I hope your son can find lots of amazing friends that arenāt ran by a billion dollar church! But seriously itās so funny that in a just a few years those parents will beg their kid to harass non-members at their houses. Good on your boy for knowing who he is and not caring about some cult members!!
My best friend has lived in Vegas since 1980. She is amazingly kind, smart, and loving. When her kids were in school, they found out very quickly how excluded the non Mormons are. My family in Idaho discovered the same thing. Now, I live in AZ and can see for myself how strangely bizarre things are with this group. Think- VISIONS OF GLORY and Ruby Franke- so much weirdness. Your son is a smart kiddo!
After I learned the truth about the church and all the sexual abuse I became worried about my kids being friends with church members...so glad your son had a good attitude about it - I would've been pissed, but at the same time wouldn't want my kids anywhere near that kids' parents.
My 1st 13 years of life I lived in Utah and kids weren't allowed to play with us because my Dad wasn't Mormon, my Mom was but my Dad wasn't and wouldn't let us get baptized...so we went to church and activities l, but us kids weren't technically members so other kids weren't allowed to come to our house...then my parents got divorced and we moved to SE TX with my Mom and there were kids that weren't allowed to come to our house because we were Mormon cult members! Luckily that specific parent came around and eventually let me and her daughter become friends...I didn't know at the time, but I was a bridesmaid at my friends wedding years later and her Mom told me that she was so glad that they decided to let us be friends, that when we first moved there they had told her she couldn't be my friend because we were cult members...turns out they were right...
I call that Utah Mormon Privilege. Growing up in California, I would have had zero friends if my parents had that BS rule.
The adults do the same thing. TBM adult was told not to talk to me, a coworker, as I'm an apostate.
Tbh I agree with your son, if thatās the reason then wouldnāt want to be friends with them anyway. Itās funny as a non religious person that religious people follow Jesus and he preached acceptance but they love to be non accepting
Itās the exact same across all cults. IM an x-jw and itās like that too
We were in the Salt Lake valley since my kids were born. Middle school is when my oldest was pushed to the "bad kids" crowd because he isn't Mormon. By the time he got to highschool he had been told by his peers he was bad so often he started to act bad, and had bad anxiety. We moved to the Bible belt and now he has completely turned round. Even though there are very religious people here, there are several denominations and they don't really shun people in the same way. He said he is happy for the first time since he was a kid. It broke my heart, but also made me happy that he is now happy.
According to MFing Bednar...Ā Free agency, personal opinionsĀ and individualism are mere myths.Ā Ā Ā **YOU SIGNED ON WHEN YOU WERE BAPTIZED AT EIGHT, GODDAMMIT!!!**
Welcome to the club. We live in the south. My two teenage children have two dads and have been on the receiving end of this type of exclusion. Consider it a gift. You and your kids can quickly identify the jerks in your world to avoid. Ā whatās left are the cool people that you want in your life. Congrats!
This is a good lesson to your son about how people actually are. His response was very mature, it really is his friendās loss, not his friendās fault mind you. Thatās the parents, Iām sure they think they are āprotectingā him but they are handicapping him instead.
As a practicing Catholic, I grew up in Monticello, Utah back in the 80s. I was told I was a heathen by one of my Mormon classmates. As a young kid I had no clue what that word meant. My parents didnāt teach me to call others that nor judge people on their religion. I had a close call with conversion to Mormonism when I was 15. When I backed out of becoming baptized I became ostracized by all of my āfriendsā. After graduating and leaving Monticello I continued to have one good Mormon friend throughout my lifeāthough he again tried to convert me this last year. I told him I wasnāt interested. Since then he rarely keeps in touch. Guess I was always a target for conversion.
My ex said the same thing
Those other parents aināt being christ like, they should lose their membership to that shit
Wow. This is awful. Please don't shun the kid and say, "Oh well. It's his loss." It's not his fault. He has sucky parents. He probably wants to be included. I would feel bad for him. Lead by example, try to include him where you can, don't shun him because his parents are idiots. Perhaps the parents can chat together about the situation and come up with a solution,, or find another place to meet. It may not be possible to reason with them, but it might be worth a try. At least then, the kid would know that you want to include him, and that you are not the idiots.
Your son should have been like yeah I go to church the church of Rock and Roll so let's create an awesome band LOL
Hell yeah!