Oh, man. *Wish* hits me in the feels. Took the kids to see *Inside Out 2* a few weeks ago and found myself stifling sobs inside the theater because it also hit me in the feels (hard) in regard to everything I’ve personally gone through in recently leaving.
Not a movie, but a TV show: The Good Place. The processing of “what happens next,” especially in the context of what we once believed as Mormon, hits hard that last season. It’s also just a forking hilarious show.
Moana. First songs are all about how the island is perfect and there’s no reason to leave, but Moana can’t make herself fit in no matter how hard she tries. Moana’s journey off the island, including her conversations with her grandmother about how things used to be, is very poignant. After years of trying to make the church work for me, this one got me in the feels
What’s interesting is that The Village has resonated with me even since I was a pre-teen. It’s one of my favorite movies. The concepts and morals are really complex.
I’ve been suspicious of Mormonism all my life even though it was buried really, really deep.
Her hidden gift was healing the family. She was unlike the others (such shame!) but was exactly what was needed for their safe space & healing.
I saw my TBM oldest sister in the strong one, Louisa. So much anxiety hidden under doing everything for everyone else. That “fun” song made me cry for her.
Practicing Perfect Poses is a perfect Mormon person who deeeep down doesn’t want to be Mormon, but knows the expectation is to continue to look and act and only make “approved” choices. PIMO for sure. She would even marry the wrong person (5 kids!!) if it made the family happy.
The abuela is stuck in the system, unable to stop hurting others with the blunt end of “tradition” = my grandparents. What worked before isn’t working anymore - but she doesn’t know how to change it besides digging in harder. All the kids trying to get a word of praise, a sign of any love being unconditional. But abuela is conditional love. Like Nelson says Christ’s love is…Holding the family home/safety/wealth/approval over their heads to make them act their parts.
And then the healing at the end for SURE. That’s post-Mormon therapy.
Don’t forget poor Bruno that everyone pretends never existed. How many of us have that one family member who left the church first and disappeared from the family photos? Far, far too many!
This is actually a fantastic point. And with how much he still loves his family, and wants to be with them, but is so sure they’ll turn him out . . .
Welp. Gonna be seeing that differently now.
For me the song at the end about rebuilding a new home that could be for everyone felt really relevant to me. The focus before was on everyone fulfilling their role no matter how bad it was for them. When they sing about needing a new foundation it makes me tear up every time.
Smallfoot. It's not Disney (Warner Bros. I think) but it talks a lot about groupthink, institutional gaslighting, cognitive dissonance, etc. It's a little corny but well worth the watch
Not a movie, but the book Educated by Tera Westover. She was raised in rural Idaho by anti-government prepper Mormons, with very little education, but ends up getting into BYU then Cambridge. It’s a great story of deconstructing family, religion, and political ideology. Highly recommended!
The Island, Severance (TV series), The Adjustment Bureau, Cast Away, Tangled, The Village, Stranger Than Fiction, Pam’s Labyrinth, The Barbie Movie, Shutter Island, The Matrix, Oblivion.
And the granddaddy of them all: The Truman Show
Severance hit me right in the middle of my deconstruction! Unquestioning obedience, dogmatic thinking, surrendering your identity to the group, and holding onto false beliefs. “Who am I? What is this system that I’m in?”
It’s all there.
…which is taking foreverrrrrr to get here.
Severance was a massive part of my son’s deconstruction. I watched him connect the dots with great interest.
I ugly cried in a certain part of Inside 2 - it really made the point of how we need to accept all parts of ourselves, even the messy, imperfect parts, to truly embrace our humanity.
Yes! I said the same!!
When the credits were rolling, I thought I was in the clear with crying, but we stayed for the post-credit scene. Up pops the movie dedication:
“This film is dedicated to our kids. We love you just the way you are.”
Yeah. Set off another round.
Right??? Little me would have given anything to have heard that message, rather than my family’s unspoken message of “don’t you dare ever do anything that would embarrass us among the Church members.” 😭
I brought up the movie to my therapist yesterday and she said the filmmakers actually had leading minds in these fields of therapy consult on it. I’m grateful they did their research and I hope it inspires more thoughtful parenting all the way around.
I watched "Turning Red" recently, and I feel like it expressed a lot of what it was like to leave the church, especially when the rest of your family are TBMs
I swear an Exmo was a involved as a screenplay writer or other art director for “Silo” on AppleTV.
The original novel has strong defend-the-tribe, anti-truth, compliance and order and other culty vibes that when watched recently in my deconstruction felt strongly of the deconstruction process. The show is amazing, one of the best ever. The society that lives in the silo kills people for wanting to leave, kills people for exposing truth, and has a caste system where the elites live a privileged life and the others live in poverty.
At the end, (without spoiling anything too much) there is some content that is discovered that has “Canadaigua” labeled on it, which is a neighboring city of Palmyra NY. I picked up on it as peculiar because I was reading “Early Mormonism and the Magical Worldview” and that city had been mentioned plenty of times as a place JS visited for treasure digging or other purposes. Maybe I’m over thinking it on this detail, but at the time it kind of stuck out to me as potentially subtle detail an exmo put into the show somehow.
The entire premise is about controlling truth, suppressing it, and covering it up.
Heck, “Judicial” is straight up the Strengthening Members Committee!!
Nope, this absolutely applies. I was actually a little bummed when my recently deconstructing husband didn’t get hit more in the feels when he watched it.
Check out "Dogville" by Lars Von Trier. It's quite depressing to see how flawed yet seemingly kind and innocent people become cruel and so small-minded.
Christopher Robin, the one with Ewan McGregor
It really helped me find myself again.
Interestingly, it was given to us by a church leader whom I've always expected is PIMO.
I may get some flak for this, but Fight Club was a spark of an intellectual awakening for me as an early teenager. No, I'm not one of those fight club chodes*. The movie focuses its ire towards consumerism in a post-modern society. If you haven't seen it, I highly encourage you to watch it, even just once.
Fight Club Chodes - the people who take any message this movie/book says literally. It's okay to take the story in a literal sense, but it is a commentary, not a manifesto.
Hazbin Hotel interesting enough. It was very healing in a way, when you leave the church, you almost feel like a horrible person, but the show reminded me that those who believe are "good" (those still in the church) may not be the best of people. I
From the perspective of a female LDS SA and CSA survivor in which the Church absolutely bungled the handling of the situation and any confidentiality was absolutely compromised.
Spitfire Grill (1996),
Courage Under Fire (1996),
The Piano (1993),
Origin (2023),
Mansfield Park (1999),
Jane Eyre (1996),
Nicholas Nickleby (2002),
Hounddog (2007),
The Secret Life of Bees (2008),
The Color Purple (1985),
The Help (2011),
Harriet (2019),
Les Miserables (2012),
Barbara (2012),
Memoirs of a Geisha (2005),
Blue Eye Samurai (Netflix animated miniseries),
His Dark Materials (HBO miniseries),
Saving Grace (miniseries),
Top of the Lake (miniseries),
Frozen II (2019, animated)
The Willoughbys (2020, animated)
Elemental (2023, animated)
Big Little Lies (miniseries),
Mare of Easttown (crime miniseries),
Unforgotten (crime miniseries),
Hanna (Amazon miniseries),
Humans (Amazon miniseries)
Agree with films others have suggested too, like Smallfoot, Tangled, Encanto, Pleasantville, The Truman Show, The Village, Wish…
Honorable mention goes to Queen Seondeok, a 2009 South Korean historical drama. I didn’t know how the sausages were made - how to recognize priestcraft- until it was staring me in the face in the character of Mishil.
Okay, I have to put on my content criticism hat for just a minute:
*Wish* is a bland film with the dullest score of anything Disney has ever produced. That goat was a waste of Alan Tudyk, who did better as a chicken when his only directions/lines were (*makes mentally impeded squawking sound*).
The main character is one-note, and that note is off pitch. The plot ties itself in a knot pretending to have stakes. Chris Pratt made a more convincing villain as douchey "We bought a Captain Kirk on Temu" in the Star Trek reboots. I can't even make that a Wish.com joke, lest this movie accidentally get residual laughs by association.
But (*critic hat off*) hot damn was I holding back tears when they were talking/singing about not being able to go back to the way things used to be, knowing what they know now.
Hasn't been mentioned yet, but...
Electrick Children
Writer/director is an ExMo and the story is about an FLDS girl who is impregnated by her brother but believes she was impregnated by God through listening to some contraband cassette tapes. Leaving the compound and encountering the world ensues.
It's very indie, but it's part of the ExMo canon and needs more shout outs.
The Bad Batch (Star Wars) hit me hard. I definitely resonated with the idea that after the war was over, the conditioned soldiers were so hollow and struggled with identity problems. The parallel of “serving the empire” or “serving the church” hit me so hard too.
It’s now a staple comfort show and it made me cry so much.
Funnily enough imo alot of Tom Hanks movies are very symbolic about secular humanism, the human experience with theism, etc....my favorites are Cast Away and The Toy Story franchise.
Interstate 60 was a good movie for me. Definitely an offbeat movie about the journey of a young man looking to differentiate his own life from his father's desires. (Streamable on Peacock.)
Luca was our Disney deconstruction. On the adult side, V for Vendetta. Going Clear was the documentary that was big for me. For some lighter comedy: Don VerDean and Plan 10 From Outer Space, are both great :)
I cannot recommend it enough. The Lobster by also Lanthismos could fit to the theme of deconstruction, although personally for me to that was more about deconstructing heteronormativity. Someone on the aromantic subreddit thought The Lobster was more of a horror movie, and now I can't unthink that :D.
Oh, man. *Wish* hits me in the feels. Took the kids to see *Inside Out 2* a few weeks ago and found myself stifling sobs inside the theater because it also hit me in the feels (hard) in regard to everything I’ve personally gone through in recently leaving. Not a movie, but a TV show: The Good Place. The processing of “what happens next,” especially in the context of what we once believed as Mormon, hits hard that last season. It’s also just a forking hilarious show.
The Good Place is such a good way to start imagining a different mindset to the afterlife.
Yeah, The Good Place helped me see how absurd eternal punishment is.
Same for inside out 2. But if you want to revel in masonic nonsense while still being patriotic there's always national treasure
Moana. First songs are all about how the island is perfect and there’s no reason to leave, but Moana can’t make herself fit in no matter how hard she tries. Moana’s journey off the island, including her conversations with her grandmother about how things used to be, is very poignant. After years of trying to make the church work for me, this one got me in the feels
Tangled.
Pleasantville, the first Matrix, The Truman Show
My tbm mom has always hated Pleasantville, and I wonder if it makes her face too many uncomfortable truths.
Hahaha I'll bet you're right
The Village
This movie reminds me so much of fundamental Mormonism.
This is the one that hit me too. I saw it when I was still very much a TBM and I was like, wow, you mean its all just bullshit? Ok.
What’s interesting is that The Village has resonated with me even since I was a pre-teen. It’s one of my favorite movies. The concepts and morals are really complex. I’ve been suspicious of Mormonism all my life even though it was buried really, really deep.
Encanto, Truman Show
How so with Encanto? I think I know but curious of the perspective
It shows how self-righteousness and arrogance can turn people abusive and eventually tear up their family.
Her hidden gift was healing the family. She was unlike the others (such shame!) but was exactly what was needed for their safe space & healing. I saw my TBM oldest sister in the strong one, Louisa. So much anxiety hidden under doing everything for everyone else. That “fun” song made me cry for her. Practicing Perfect Poses is a perfect Mormon person who deeeep down doesn’t want to be Mormon, but knows the expectation is to continue to look and act and only make “approved” choices. PIMO for sure. She would even marry the wrong person (5 kids!!) if it made the family happy. The abuela is stuck in the system, unable to stop hurting others with the blunt end of “tradition” = my grandparents. What worked before isn’t working anymore - but she doesn’t know how to change it besides digging in harder. All the kids trying to get a word of praise, a sign of any love being unconditional. But abuela is conditional love. Like Nelson says Christ’s love is…Holding the family home/safety/wealth/approval over their heads to make them act their parts. And then the healing at the end for SURE. That’s post-Mormon therapy.
You did a much better job explaining it than me😂❤️ when Abuela sings at the end “the miracle is you, not some gift, just you!”😭😭😭
Don’t forget poor Bruno that everyone pretends never existed. How many of us have that one family member who left the church first and disappeared from the family photos? Far, far too many!
This is actually a fantastic point. And with how much he still loves his family, and wants to be with them, but is so sure they’ll turn him out . . . Welp. Gonna be seeing that differently now.
For me the song at the end about rebuilding a new home that could be for everyone felt really relevant to me. The focus before was on everyone fulfilling their role no matter how bad it was for them. When they sing about needing a new foundation it makes me tear up every time.
Encanto was a big one for me. The abuela is much like my mother.
Omg I looove Encanto and never connected it with deconstruction! Brb, off to go re-watch it again…
Smallfoot. It's not Disney (Warner Bros. I think) but it talks a lot about groupthink, institutional gaslighting, cognitive dissonance, etc. It's a little corny but well worth the watch
This 100%
YES.
Not a movie, but the book Educated by Tera Westover. She was raised in rural Idaho by anti-government prepper Mormons, with very little education, but ends up getting into BYU then Cambridge. It’s a great story of deconstructing family, religion, and political ideology. Highly recommended!
That one gutted me.
This was a hard read. Very triggering… but it did take me down the road of deconstruction
Yes, it’s worth mentioning that abuse in the family is a major theme.
The Island, Severance (TV series), The Adjustment Bureau, Cast Away, Tangled, The Village, Stranger Than Fiction, Pam’s Labyrinth, The Barbie Movie, Shutter Island, The Matrix, Oblivion. And the granddaddy of them all: The Truman Show
Severance hit me right in the middle of my deconstruction! Unquestioning obedience, dogmatic thinking, surrendering your identity to the group, and holding onto false beliefs. “Who am I? What is this system that I’m in?” It’s all there.
Such a great show. Looking forward to Season 2!
Feels like waiting for the second coming.
Probably my favorite TV show ever.
…which is taking foreverrrrrr to get here. Severance was a massive part of my son’s deconstruction. I watched him connect the dots with great interest.
Love The Island
Everything Everywhere All at Once
Yes! This made me cry like a baby relating it to my early phases of my faith crisis
I ugly cried in a certain part of Inside 2 - it really made the point of how we need to accept all parts of ourselves, even the messy, imperfect parts, to truly embrace our humanity.
Yes! I said the same!! When the credits were rolling, I thought I was in the clear with crying, but we stayed for the post-credit scene. Up pops the movie dedication: “This film is dedicated to our kids. We love you just the way you are.” Yeah. Set off another round.
Right??? Little me would have given anything to have heard that message, rather than my family’s unspoken message of “don’t you dare ever do anything that would embarrass us among the Church members.” 😭 I brought up the movie to my therapist yesterday and she said the filmmakers actually had leading minds in these fields of therapy consult on it. I’m grateful they did their research and I hope it inspires more thoughtful parenting all the way around.
I watched "Turning Red" recently, and I feel like it expressed a lot of what it was like to leave the church, especially when the rest of your family are TBMs
Oh interesting! I watched that a while back and was half awake 😂 going to watch again with this in mind
Dune lol
lol wasn’t expecting this one… how so?
Just shows the dangers of people who have a cult like following
I think this is more evident in Dune 2
The Life of Brian, more so Christianity in general, not specific to mormonism, but quite funny
Good Omens. The book is great as is season 1 of the series.
Just here to second the Truman show. It’s wild to watch it after leaving the church.
I swear an Exmo was a involved as a screenplay writer or other art director for “Silo” on AppleTV. The original novel has strong defend-the-tribe, anti-truth, compliance and order and other culty vibes that when watched recently in my deconstruction felt strongly of the deconstruction process. The show is amazing, one of the best ever. The society that lives in the silo kills people for wanting to leave, kills people for exposing truth, and has a caste system where the elites live a privileged life and the others live in poverty. At the end, (without spoiling anything too much) there is some content that is discovered that has “Canadaigua” labeled on it, which is a neighboring city of Palmyra NY. I picked up on it as peculiar because I was reading “Early Mormonism and the Magical Worldview” and that city had been mentioned plenty of times as a place JS visited for treasure digging or other purposes. Maybe I’m over thinking it on this detail, but at the time it kind of stuck out to me as potentially subtle detail an exmo put into the show somehow.
Came here to say this. The Silo series is a great representation of a shelf cracking and the deconstruction that follows.
The entire premise is about controlling truth, suppressing it, and covering it up. Heck, “Judicial” is straight up the Strengthening Members Committee!!
Tangled. Especially her song as she leaves the tower.
Barbie was one of those movies for me, I told my wife and she said can you stop bringing church into everything??
Nope, this absolutely applies. I was actually a little bummed when my recently deconstructing husband didn’t get hit more in the feels when he watched it.
Under the banner of heaven is a good one if you want something focused on Mormonism specifically, though it's a show rather than a movie
Check out "Dogville" by Lars Von Trier. It's quite depressing to see how flawed yet seemingly kind and innocent people become cruel and so small-minded.
Christopher Robin, the one with Ewan McGregor It really helped me find myself again. Interestingly, it was given to us by a church leader whom I've always expected is PIMO.
I may get some flak for this, but Fight Club was a spark of an intellectual awakening for me as an early teenager. No, I'm not one of those fight club chodes*. The movie focuses its ire towards consumerism in a post-modern society. If you haven't seen it, I highly encourage you to watch it, even just once. Fight Club Chodes - the people who take any message this movie/book says literally. It's okay to take the story in a literal sense, but it is a commentary, not a manifesto.
I love fight club, never looked at it through this lease though
Me either! But I watch that movie every couple of years. That and V is for Vendetta. I need to watch it again with that lens.
"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything." TD
Hazbin Hotel interesting enough. It was very healing in a way, when you leave the church, you almost feel like a horrible person, but the show reminded me that those who believe are "good" (those still in the church) may not be the best of people. I
🎶If hell is forever then heaven must be a lie🎵
🎶If angels can do whatever and remain in the sky🎶
From the perspective of a female LDS SA and CSA survivor in which the Church absolutely bungled the handling of the situation and any confidentiality was absolutely compromised. Spitfire Grill (1996), Courage Under Fire (1996), The Piano (1993), Origin (2023), Mansfield Park (1999), Jane Eyre (1996), Nicholas Nickleby (2002), Hounddog (2007), The Secret Life of Bees (2008), The Color Purple (1985), The Help (2011), Harriet (2019), Les Miserables (2012), Barbara (2012), Memoirs of a Geisha (2005), Blue Eye Samurai (Netflix animated miniseries), His Dark Materials (HBO miniseries), Saving Grace (miniseries), Top of the Lake (miniseries), Frozen II (2019, animated) The Willoughbys (2020, animated) Elemental (2023, animated) Big Little Lies (miniseries), Mare of Easttown (crime miniseries), Unforgotten (crime miniseries), Hanna (Amazon miniseries), Humans (Amazon miniseries) Agree with films others have suggested too, like Smallfoot, Tangled, Encanto, Pleasantville, The Truman Show, The Village, Wish… Honorable mention goes to Queen Seondeok, a 2009 South Korean historical drama. I didn’t know how the sausages were made - how to recognize priestcraft- until it was staring me in the face in the character of Mishil.
Hopefully recommend the Good Place, but it's a TV show. Also Battlestar Galactica! The way they depict religion is pretty phenomenal.
The Truman Show, Megamind, Nimona
Nimona was a huge shift in my already shifting viewpoint. Especially having kids in the church, that one hit hard.
Omg Megamind! That’s so true!!
What Dreams May Come Synecdoche New York Sense 8 if you're Queer
Bolt, Toy Story 1&2
Bolt made me cry! It’s “The Village” for kids!
Okay, I have to put on my content criticism hat for just a minute: *Wish* is a bland film with the dullest score of anything Disney has ever produced. That goat was a waste of Alan Tudyk, who did better as a chicken when his only directions/lines were (*makes mentally impeded squawking sound*). The main character is one-note, and that note is off pitch. The plot ties itself in a knot pretending to have stakes. Chris Pratt made a more convincing villain as douchey "We bought a Captain Kirk on Temu" in the Star Trek reboots. I can't even make that a Wish.com joke, lest this movie accidentally get residual laughs by association. But (*critic hat off*) hot damn was I holding back tears when they were talking/singing about not being able to go back to the way things used to be, knowing what they know now.
Hasn't been mentioned yet, but... Electrick Children Writer/director is an ExMo and the story is about an FLDS girl who is impregnated by her brother but believes she was impregnated by God through listening to some contraband cassette tapes. Leaving the compound and encountering the world ensues. It's very indie, but it's part of the ExMo canon and needs more shout outs.
The Bad Batch (Star Wars) hit me hard. I definitely resonated with the idea that after the war was over, the conditioned soldiers were so hollow and struggled with identity problems. The parallel of “serving the empire” or “serving the church” hit me so hard too. It’s now a staple comfort show and it made me cry so much.
Martin Scorcese’s Silence hits
Funnily enough imo alot of Tom Hanks movies are very symbolic about secular humanism, the human experience with theism, etc....my favorites are Cast Away and The Toy Story franchise.
Interstate 60 was a good movie for me. Definitely an offbeat movie about the journey of a young man looking to differentiate his own life from his father's desires. (Streamable on Peacock.)
Luca was our Disney deconstruction. On the adult side, V for Vendetta. Going Clear was the documentary that was big for me. For some lighter comedy: Don VerDean and Plan 10 From Outer Space, are both great :)
DOGMA was one for me. As well as The Divinchi Code movis.
Wizard of oz and Sausage party. Also, not a movie but the arbiter missions in halo 2
Yellowjackets :D
Dogtooth, if you're okay with a little incest.
Oooo this looks interesting
I cannot recommend it enough. The Lobster by also Lanthismos could fit to the theme of deconstruction, although personally for me to that was more about deconstructing heteronormativity. Someone on the aromantic subreddit thought The Lobster was more of a horror movie, and now I can't unthink that :D.
Sausage party
I second this
My name is practical sector and I approve this comment
Equilibrium hits me every damn time
The movie Stigmata
SILO. Tv show. Couldn’t say it louder!!!
I love the show The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt on Netflix
Brigsby Bear Surrogates Midnight special Oblivion Patema Inverted The boy and the beast Martin Chuzzelwit Free Guy Luca WALL E Megamind Bolt