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> cluster headaches
Hoooooo fucking boy. Those bad boys are also known as suicide headaches because it feels like you're getting stabbed in the brain with a red hot poker. I knew one person that had them, and when he got them he just straight up cried for an hour.
"But you might have children"
Lol get fucked
That pos needs to lose his licence and his degree. He/she is in no way fit to be a doctor. I might have sometimes made pregnant women wait a couple of hours to wait for a senior, so that we can discuss a relatively safe plan of treatment, but I can't deny care to anyone.
Not to mention this woman was not even pregnant she was just of reproductive age which is 15 to 50 years.
i like what another woman on Twitter once said:
"Dr woudnt tie my tubes cuz i wasnt married and maybe somday my huband might want kids. Medically, my body belongs to a man i have never met."
I was begging for a hysterectomy in my 20s. My old white male dr refused to even work me up. Kept saying I will change my mind about kids. Never did and finally got my hysterectomy in my early 40s when I went to a female OBGYN. I’m to the point I don’t think men should even be OBGYNs. Sad but they just don’t have the understanding of what we go through.
The *only* reason a doc agreed to tie my tubes was because I’d had two kids and five miscarriages (all while on different forms of birth control). They couldn’t figure out the problem, so I demanded the obvious solution.
My sister had multiple complications with her 2 pregnancies. They were worse with the second. The doctor told her that if she had a 3rd, it would probably kill her. She said “that’s ok. We have 2 together and he has 2 from his first, we are done anyway. Let’s tie my tubes!” And they told her no, because she might want another kid.
I’ve been in the same situation with 2 complicated pregnancies, each involving a surgery and both ending in C-section. My Texas OBGYN (male) was the one saying next pregnancy may end up a total disaster for my body and recommended tubal ligation. Especially, he added, considering the talks (back then) about abortion ban. And that’s exactly what we did - c-section + tubal ended in a peace of mind for me during these dark times. Grateful for my doc and furious every time I hear stories like your sister’s. Female health is no joke, neither is female life on stake, and yet here we are 😡
Sweet mercy... All these horrific stories. This is partly why I (36m) got my tubes tied for my partner who very much doesn't want kids and couldn't take them to term anyway due to the risks. Try and get around that you mysogonistic goobers
Smart decision my friend. The religious groups and their advocates can say whatever they want, but for some women pregnancy is not that much of a natural and easy-peasy process. It’s never risk free, even for generally really healthy individuals, as I am, there are so many variables in the process from getting pregnant to giving birth and postnatal period. That is why abortion is healthcare! That is why it’s up for women to decide.
“If you have a third child, it will probably kill you.”
“Then let’s just get our tubes tied to prevent any risk.”
“No, you might want children later on.”
“But you said that having kids again would kill me?”
“Yes but you’re stupid and will want them anyway.”
10/10 doctor, would recommend /s
>The doctor told her that **if she had a 3rd, it would probably kill her.** She said “that’s ok. We have 2 together and he has 2 from his first, we are done anyway. Let’s tie my tubes!” **And they told her no, because she might want another kid.**
Dafuq?
Yeah same here. I have had 5 pregnacies and 3 living children my last was 18 years ago. It was my 3rd C-section and I said whilst you are in there do a sterilisation as well please. They said no because I might want more kids. Told them I was done at 43 and please! Tie s knot in it! I was on my 3rd section and had already been told not to have any more,but they still wouldn't do it! 18 years later I still have no more kids so why the hell can't they take a woman's word for it,I just don't know! My mom was just as bad,kept telling me not to have anymore and not believing that I wasn't going to?! Wth mom?!!! 🤷🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
I live in MA. I had a tubal ligation after my 2nd child. I was 36. I had to write a letter that I understood that this would make me unable to have more children, then I and my husband had to sign it.
Around that time, a woman we know had a tubal ligation after she turned 30. She and her husband didn't want children, but she couldn't find any doctor willing to do a ligation on a childless woman under 30.
Decades later, my DIL asked for one after her c section with a female OB. All she had to sign was a surgical consent for it as well as the c section.
My friend was told she could never carry a viable pregnancy, and trying to do so would only worsen her already poor health. So she chose to get a hysterectomy. She went under for the procedure, and when she awoke….she still had her uterus. They decided not to remove it after all, just in case. FUCK these people!!!
😡😡🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
"If you have another kid, you could die, based on my medical expertise, I advise you not do that. "
"OK doc, let's make sure that doesn't happen."
"Noooooo...if you decide you want to end your life in the future, this is the easiest way to go about it, as long as you bring a future orphan (and your existing kids lose their mom) into it."
#Whattheactualf***?!
My wife wanted to get a partial hysterectomy. She has horrible periods/cramps on 1 side.
The first OBGyn - a woman in Texas - looked at me and said "well do you want any more kids".... I looked her straight in the eye and said " that's not gonna be possible since I have a vasectomy over a year ago"....
Removing only 1 Ovary/Fallopian tube. My wife has severe endometriosis. It took a while to even find a doctor willing to perform an Ablation to alleviate her period pain. She now has a 7cm tumor in her Ovary that we tried to get removed over 5 years ago... so now they are going to take the Ovary on that side...
I’m sorry…fucking what??!?!
“It might kill you if you have another kid, but you might want one so I can’t protect you from the possibility of death.”
What the fuck happened to Hippocratic Oath? I would say that shit flew out the window, but honestly, I don’t even know it was ever in the room to begin with.
The best OBGYN I’ve had was a man, worst by far was a woman.
In my late teens I was dealing with horrible periods. The cramps were so bad I couldn’t stand up straight and would throw up from the pain. My OBGYN at that point was a woman and she told me I was being overdramatic and just needed to power through the pain like every other woman has to. She said women like me were why men look down on us and make period jokes so often. I told her about my family’s extensive history with endometriosis and she said I was too skinny to have that.
Found a male OBGYN when I moved away for college. When I told him about my pain, he was sympathetic and believed me. He diagnosed me with endometriosis and got me on birth control that actually helped with the symptoms.
(I have had good female OBGYN’s since then, but women in conservative areas can have horrific levels of internalized misogyny)
Had to comment in solidarity because I had a somewhat similar experience when I was about 15. Throughout the first 2-3 days of my period, I would have migraines and horrible cramps that would cause me to throw up from the pain. Midol and other OTC medications didn't help with the pain, and between the cramps & migraines, it was so debilitating that I was having to miss 2-3 days of school (and sports practices, etc.) every month because all I could do was lay in my bed with the lights off.
My mom was eventually convinced to let me talk to an OBGYN about going on birth control, but the first doctor we went to decided to explain that cramps are just a normal part of having periods & that I probably wasn't having migraines, just normal headaches, and even went so far as to suggest to my mom that I was just exaggerating everything in order to get out of going to school.
Fortunately, my mom was like "fuck this doctor" and took me to a different OBGYN who promptly put me on birth control pills, which were extremely effective in reducing my symptoms.
Both of the OBGYNs I discuss here are women, and I always thought it was particularly surprising/baffling that another woman, who presumably has firsthand experience with the shittiness of having a menstrual cycle, could be so dismissive of the symptoms I was describing.
There's been a lot of reporting on the exact opposite effect: There's a problem with some providers downplaying symptoms because they have similar symptoms and think you're just complaining.
How about we just say that the medical field gets burned out dealing with suffering people and need to remember to listen to their patients and not just mentally lump them together into statistics.
The whole pain level thing historically is tainted as well. For years men couldn't admit how bad something hurt , for fear of being seen as weak. The whole walk it off mentally.
There's still medical schools teaching things like basically white men feel the most pain even if they say they're not, that white women are exaggerating their pain, and that Black people physically do not really feel pain. Like literally slavery justification shit.
I read a recent study that a disturbing percentage of medical students believed that African Americans have thicker skin than whites, so that injections, IVs and such didn't hurt them as much! The students were taught that this was incorrect.
Wouldn’t that make it hurt more? Like, you’re doing the equivalent of giving a shot vs getting an IV starter. Puncturing more skin would trigger more nociceptors (pain nerves), which would lead to more overall pain. Or am I misunderstanding human anatomy?
Right? It’s insane how this is still a belief. Until around 1999, so waaaay too recently, they didn’t give babies pain medication or anesthesia for procedures because the belief was babies under one year old couldn’t feel pain. They’d just immobilize them without anything else. A lot of medicine is still operating off of “white only” diagnoses to the point that a doctor of color published a reference book showing what various rashes and ailments look like on melanated skin because it didn’t exist before the 2020s. Even now it’s believe by some that POC, especially WOC, do not feel pain as deeply as white people. Just gross.
This happened to me in 1996. I had two kids, and I knew (with certainty) I was done. “WHaT IF yOu reMarRy soMe DaY aNd WaNt MoRe?” What I wanted was relief from the fibroid knives in my uterus so I could fucking parent the actual children I already had. Assholes.
My female OB refused to tie my tubes after my second c-section because "something might happen to one of the babies," and I would want "options." Babies = lego pieces. Smfh
I mean, I get them having a solid discussion on it - when I got a vasectomy (I already had kids even) the doctor talked to me for 15 minutes to make sure I understood what was happening was mostly irreversible. But after their discussion and explaining the consequences (as they should in any elective medical procedures…) it should 100% be your choice
Unfortunately in the medical field your level of care is greatly dictated by three things.
Your wealth, your gender, and your race.
Poor black woman in pain? Must be just trying to score some drugs.
White or Asian woman, make sure you have a permission slip from your ~~master~~ husband.
What’s that, you’re suffering from severe headaches and neck pain? Have you tried exercising more?
Your periods are causing debilitating pain that interferes with your ability to do your job? Have you tried dieting?
Your past injuries cause tremendous pain during and after any physical activity? Clearly you should go jogging, even though that exacerbates the problem. What fun.
It's not his gender that is the issue, it's his outlook... doctors treat patients with ailments and conditions they haven't experienced EVERY SINGLE DAY, unfortunately, complete scum can belong to any profession....
The only doctor who took my pcos seriously was a man. All the female GYN's I went to after I was diagnosed dismissed my concerns because I wasn't trying to get pregnant right away.
They not only do not understand. They don’t believe we’re accurate reporters of our own symptoms & conditions. Older white men who are Christians are the least compassionate, and exhibit the most misogyny.
The only doctor that agreed to my hysterectomy was a male doctor. He’s incredible and I refer everyone to him. I had multiple female gynos refuse bc I might want kids. I was married at the time and even my ex husband was telling them “no, we don’t ever want kids!” We’re divorced but I still never want kids. I had hormonal headaches and an issue with my uterus that the hysterectomy cured and I’d do it all over again despite menopause.
My wife has had the same female OBGYN for 20 years plus, and they have an understanding, either ya do this or I’ll go elsewhere.
One was tubes tied, hysterectomy, the other was taking out this black boxed birth control deal she had up her tubes I think it was.
Don't worry, we are working on that. Soon enough the man won't be hypothetical, you will be assigned to a man for reproduction. The even better news is you will get plenty of reminders to smile more and a sweet bonnet and red cloak as well.
YUP!! I said the same thing as soon as Roe was overturned! The signs are all there... we're just too stupid to listen as a country and keep electing these misogynistic old white men (mostly) who will not be happy until every woman has to ask her husband for permission to go buy groceries and kids my daughter's age (19) are barefoot and pregnant!! 😞😡🤦♀️
Yes, i have seen that post multiple times. Honestly i am lacking enough abuses to describe what i feel about those doctors. I may advise in favour of or against a particular procedure from my point of view as a doctor, { not my own religious beliefs} but ultimately it should be patient's decision if they want that procedure or not.
Saw that reposted on Reddit. It's absolutely bonkers to me.
Some of the responses were trying to justify it as "oh but you might change your mind later in life", as if people in the world don't make permanent life altering choices every day
> reproductive age
We can't have reproduction be halted, guys between ages 15-50 will also need to be denied medical treatment at the doctor's discretion. /s
I remember getting one once as a kid. Lasted the whole day, eyes were watering uncontrollably. Felt like someone was drilling into one specific part of my head. Parents took me to a doctor and they didn’t believe it was a cluster headache because I was a 10 year old girl, and they’re more common for older men or smokers, told my parents to give me paracetamol.
I suffered cluster headaches from 9 until 50. Suicide was a thought far too many times to count. Only butalbital and later, midrin saved my life. I'm certain I would not have survived much past 27 if not for those two drugs.
Side note: all the doctors I would see from 9 until 23-ish kept prescribing Tylenol 3. What a joke that crap was. I basically destroyed my liver taking 12 500mg Tylenol caps at least twice a week before I found a more educated doctor. Most people simply have no clue about this pain. I was lucky to find him and I often thought about those that did not find an understanding and educated doctor.
I used to get cluster headaches and stabbed in the brain with a red hot poker is as accurate as it gets. I would hide under a comforter with an ice pack around the back of my head, shielding out sound and light which were excruciating. It’s completely understandable why they are called suicide headaches, your brain wants to get out of that situation in any way possible.
I get migraines from any headache if I don't take medication. You really don't wanna cry when it gets bad because crying makes it so much worse. If he was crying it was definitely at the point he couldn't hold it back anymore. Also I have had a migraine cause me to throw up a few times and it felt like my head was gonna explode each time I did.
I suffer from chronic migraines and when they first became chronic the doctor was reluctant to give me a certain preventative because I'm "a woman of childbearing age". I shut that down immediately. I'm lucky that I was able to get my tubes tied while my second was born by c section, otherwise it might have been more of a battle.
The medication didn't even work.
Preventatives didn't work for me either. Please have a look at fioranol/fioracet/butalbital or midrin. When I first discovered butalbital, it was like magic.
The hope from a new med, followed by the first migraine it doesn't prevent. Brutal.
I found out I'm completely intolerant of opioids during a migraine. Like a regular migraine, but somehow with *more* brain fog, crawling skin and somehow more unstoppable vomiting. After that it was sedation.
Don't treat for the pain, Put. Me. Out.
Finally found an anti-epileptic that prevents most of them, good luck I hope you find relief.
I also get migraines so I'm with you so far. But cluster headaches are a different thing entirely and a full step up in terms of intensity. It's full on torture levels of pain.
I started with migrains at 9, graduated to tension leading to migraines at 17 (3x as bad, but at least you get a warning). At 22, I finally graduated to the big time with cluster headaches and suicide was a viable option every single time (this was 10x my migraines as they sometimes came with a warning and other times wacked me on the back of my head with a hammer then clawed their way around the right side of my head until they reached my eye). Oh, younger Kenny thinks, it won't get worse than this, will it? My younger self had no clue and the doctors he consulted had even less of a clue. I had always sought out older, more experienced docs because I incorrectly assumed they would have the answer, but it was a very young doctor that eventually came to my rescue. I never thanked him enough.
I suffered from cluster headaches before. It would wake me up the same time every night. I would have to go into the bathtub and use a towel like a tourniquet tying it around my head as tight as possible. I’d wet the towel with scalding hot water from be faucet. Rinse and repeat. These headaches would last 2 hours. Everything I did was to try and make the 2 hours bearable.
Interesting. Mine were eventually surmised to be a genetic issue. They always and I mean always lasted 24 hours. I had a very good friend long ago and her clusters lasted 5 days exactly. Even with midrin, she took her life and I understand.
My husband had cluster headaches start happening when he got Lyme disease about 8 years ago.
They’re so absolutely horrible and nothing really helps. He would be unable to do anything….just lay in bed with lights off, quiet house as much as possible and he’d just lay there and moan or cry. The sound of the ceiling fan would be too much. Or my cat jumping off a table in a different room.
They lasted on and off for a few years but he hasn’t had one in about 3-4 years.
> feels like you're getting stabbed in the brain with a red hot poker.
I used to describe it like a red hot ice pick being shoved in the inner corner of my right eye. The pain intensifies and then pops like a bubble, but repeat that cycle for 15-20 minutes. It was so painful that doctors thought I was drug seeking until my doctor figured out what was wrong.
It is absolutely the worst pain I've ever experienced.
I saw her post appointment car freak out and I am so mad for her. I’ve had cluster style migraines since I can remember (they are migraines but come in clusters like cluster headaches) and I have entertained the idea of washing my mouth out with a revolver over them. It really is that bad. However you imagine it, but way worse.
I hope she wins.
Adding: To the concerned redditor who reported my post - I am fine lol
I have heard that high flow oxygen is a very helpful with cluster headaches. I am a paramedic and treated a man with them. He was in agony and hated even calling 911 cause drugs don’t work, but he couldn’t cope. I can’t remember why it came up. But we gave him oxygen for about 20 min and he ended up staying home.
Can be worth a google and talk to a doctor for you
Yes. If you suffer from clusters, buy a large O2 tank from a welding supply company. They'll also probably be able to build you a nice rig for it for a few bucks. The gas they use for welding is pure, you can breathe it. This has saved my life. But technique is important, so go to the cluster headache forum and learn.
Male, but suffered clusters off and on through the 90s, can attest to how brutally painful they are. Tried multiple doctors/neurologists…my Uncle read somewhere that one theory was Melatonin deficiency caused them. I started taking it nightly before bed, and I’ve not had them since. Can’t speak for others, and this woman’s story w the doctor is obscene, but if you read this as a cluster sufferer you might try melatonin.
My boss had terrible migraines every week. He had a customer ask him how much red meat he ate. Maybe 3-4 times a week. Customer suggested he just cut it from his diet and see if it helps. No migraines after that.
Even after I discovered butalbital and midrin, I whet thru a plethora of diets and preventative meds in an attempt to curtail then. Nothing worked. I'm convinced that migrains/clusters/tensions are from a very broad range of causes and what works for one person may not work for another.
I remember Midrin! I had debilitating migraines from about 5th or 6th grade through about 8th or 9th grade and then they just kind of tapered off and went away. I still get normal tension headaches and I still get fairly severe sinus headaches due to my allergies but I don't really get migraines anymore can't even remember the last time I got one thankfully.
The issue with headaches is they are a very common symptom, my whole family gets them when there's sudden pressure changes like storms or temperature changes if they are fast enough.
I wonder if his headaches were in part a function of high blood pressure. I have blood pressure issues which I've spent the last two years getting a handle on, through medication, diet and lifestyle changes. When my pressure got REAL high, I would get a persistent, aching, throbbing headache. Red meat consumption is one of the biggest single contributors to high blood pressure (with salt, stress and obesity being the other three).
They put me on melatonin too.
What a lot of people don't realize about cluster headaches is that, unlike migraines which can last for days, cluster headaches are relatively quick. If you took a pain killer (or whatever) when the headache set in, it would be over in 15 minutes before the drugs could actually do anything. You pretty much have to rip apart your life to see if you can find whatever is causing it--and good luck with that because doctors aren't sure what causes them--or take whatever preventatives they give you.
Mine just went away one day, but I'm terrified they're going to come back. Easily the worst pain I've ever experienced.
[Found](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/new-york-hospital-childbearing-age-b2425613.html) the news article, it gets worse from the headline.
JFC. That was a roller coaster of a read. That woman is suffering so much because of people beliefs and opinions. Your opinion shouldn't fucking matter in a medical emergency. Facts are facts. That woman needed medical intervention and was refused it because of people's egos and personal opinions.
Thank you for sharing the article link.
I'm not sure if I want children or not but if anyone teated me like that I would decide against it out of pure pettiness tbh. It feels dehumanizing and humiliating when people put your not-even-existing children over your needs.
Excellent choice of words! Better wording then me!
I have known since my teenage years I do not want children. My go to response when someone asks me is "children shouldn't have children". I 100% know I am NOT suited to be a parent. For many, many, reasons I know without a doubt I am not suited for it.
Oh, that was after she made him read that Cellcept has side effects, which he patently denied it having, then taking the moral high ground when she proved him wrong.
Jesus fucking christ... that poor woman. Screw every single person who worked against her, in clear disregard for her health and safety. They should all lose their licenses and have to pay her substantial payouts.
Pfft, she just doesn't realize that having children IS the cure to her problems.
Depression? Just have a baby!
Ovaries hurting? Uterus causing you so much pain you can't get out of bed? Have a baby!
Mental health issues so severe you actually considering the suicisideways? Have a baby!
Headaches, toothaches, broken foot, sinus infection, arm cut off from a car accident, or a weird lump in your breast? Babies are the cure!
/S
I know you’re being sarcastic, but my last obgyn literally told me this. It was more for my endometriosis, but he was like “getting pregnant will help!” and I just stared at him. Am I supposed to be pregnant until I go through menopause? I asked if there was something HE could do to help me and he was like “oh, we can’t prove you even have it, so no. Anyways, did you want a refill of your birth control?”
Also he refused to prescribe me any form of birth control that could help with the debilitating pain, because that may cause iNFeRtiLity... but he's still the best reviewed obgyn in my city, since he allegedly provides the best prenatal care
I forced my doctor to do an investigative laparascopy for the endo. It took 5 years of being in constant pain before they would do it and diagnose me, and laser the tissue out. Then the dr pushed me off on another dr cause she didn't want to deal with me anymore.
Then, I was unable to take birth control to manage the endo due to other health issues. Back to horrible pain. Finally found a reasonable dr - went to appointment almost crying with research to prove I needed a hysterectomy. She just said ok, when you want to do it? Soooo happy I found her.
Good.
And I hope it got some eyes on her case to get her headaches treated properly. That shit messes up your life. I never had kids because of mine and I had that same BS done to me till my 40's
Or the imaginary next partner/husband who may not even exist! Can't forget about HIS rights... they MUST be considered and come before hers! Priorities people... /s 🤦♀️
Sometimes it baffles me how people this dumb can even get doctorate…
Like what is a point of “ChIlD bEaRiNg AgE” when she commits suicide due to pain, long before she can even give birth…?
Sometimes the pursuit of an advanced degree will reinforce to people that they “know better” than everyone else because they’ve been to school and have that degree. I used to work with doctors and it’s insane the number of them who will straight up ignore what other people say, even if the thing they’re saying is clearly beneficial, because they don’t want to do it or because they think they know better. I can’t imagine how that translates to patient care
I had to demand a longer-term monitor (I’d gotten a 24-hour one previously) for heart palpitations because “it’s just your ADHD meds and your anxiety causing palpitations.” I was given a one-month monitor. I had it for less than 2 weeks before they determined I needed surgery.
Im too lazy to look up the exact number but I came across a stat a while back that says women often go to something like 7-8 doctors before being prescribed proper care. My wife had to go to 3 doctors before she was able to get an MRI to confirm that the lump she was feeling was cancer. It’s disgusting that women are so often just blown off because people don’t believe them. I don’t know your gender but it really sucks that you also had to go through something like that needlessly.
I work with doctors, but outside a clinic setting where conversations are often about business plans, etc.
They fall into the expertise trap a lot- “I’m an expert on this, so I can figure anything out.” It can lead to some profoundly stupid ideas. Some are polymaths, and they tend to be the ones who are critical thinkers and recognize where they aren’t the right subject matter expert to answer a question.
After being in this job for 10 years, my theory is that a lot of our education system, even higher ed, teaches procedures rather than critical thinking. You can do a lot of intricate and important work with procedures alone - “if a patient has x indication and y comorbidity, I should recommend z procedure.” It’s a lot of knowledge to master just learning these procedures, but it doesn’t make you into a polymath. That kind of broader thinking requires you to master logic and reason, research methods, and have interest in other fields.
Just my observations. Some of the docs I’ve worked with have been the brightest people I know and others have such poor judgment I wonder how they haven’t gotten themselves killed yet.
It's the same with lawyers. The same person who effectively analyzes a client's constitutional rights in litigation, might be completely unable to apply the same thinking when it comes to a social or political issue.
Or, once in a while when there's a big change in precedent, they'll get stuck in the old way of doing things. Like, they'll know that they're using a strategy that doesn't make sense anymore, but it's like they can't help themselves.
>Sometimes it baffles me how people this dumb can even get doctorate…
Christian *medical* colleges exist...and a lot of those people come out more Christian than doctor.
This was kind of a problem we used to have in Ireland up until we decriminalised abortion six years ago.
Women "of childbearing age" would routinely be required to take pregnancy tests before they were "allowed" to undergo procedures or being prescribed medication that was known to cause spontaneous miscarriage or birth defects.
If they refused, they would be denied access to the healthcare.
Ireland's constitution permitted limited abortion where the woman's life was in danger\*, with jail time for doctors and women of up to 7 years for carrying out an illegal abortion. So yeah, doctors couldn't/wouldn't give women healthcare if there was the slightest chance at all that they might be pregnant.
"I'm a lesbian", "I'm a virgin", "I'm 12"; made no difference. All had to do it.
^(\*But even then you basically had to be nearly dead before you could get one)
So, you came in for a knife in your leg I see. Hmmm, I think your best option would be to leave it in so men can more easily prey on you and give you their seed. I wouldn’t mind doing that myself, but I have to be a professional at my job. Damnit!
In the age of "political correctness" and progress, I never thought I would get to experience a Western society where women are once again reduced to being nothing more than a womb. I'm not surprised if women will be declared incompetent again. Awful stuff.
I've had one of those. It feels like you're dying. It lasted for hours. These so-called doctors are insane.
edit: kindly refrain from giving unqualified "medical advice" to a stranger who didn't ask for it. I am under no obligation to describe my medical history to you.
I don’t go to older, male doctors, because they are the worst about not treating women for pain. They’re not the only doctors who do this, but they’re worse about it. They usually don’t even give us a reason. If these men are Christians, they are often the most merciless practitioners. They’ll pray for me, but they won’t prescribe me anything for pain. They are useless & clueless. They must teach them misogyny in medical school.
I have a friend with severe uterine issues. Im not really sure of exact issues. But she is anemic, had pretty much constant bleeding, and is always in pain.
She has no plans to ever have children as she has a few medical and mental health issues she doesnt want to pass on. Not to mention that she just never has been interested to become a parent.
Shes mid 20's capable of making a decision. Doctors routinely neglect and downplay her reproductive issues. She has no idea the cause. Only knowledge she has is her mother had hysterectomy around 40 because of endometrial or ovarian cancer.
they say she cant have hysterectomy now because her future husband might want kids.
A man she hasnt even met is in charge of her healthcare. And the most laughable part; shes a lesbian. She doesnt even like men.
I had these, some of these attacks lasted for weeks with ups and downs.
The only "medicine" that was working for me against cluster headaches was pure oxygen, so I still have a few bottles at home. For a migraine injections of imigran/sumatriptan are working for me.
It seems really infantilizing to me that doctors in this country won’t let women make medical decisions for themselves because the consequences might be that they won’t be able to have children. Same shit as women who want to be medically sterilized because they don’t want children but can’t. No one but the woman in question should be able to make that call, that’s what informed consent is about
Blame the people with a high position of power that have it in their heads that only THEY know what's right or wrong when it comes to other peoples bodies
I’ve been there for years where I live (Bible Belt) even though I have PCOS, Endometriosis and don’t ovulate properly. Since there is a 0.001% chance I could get pregnant no one will give me a hysterectomy…. Even though I’ve repeatedly said I’m trans, I don’t like or want kids. I am not even healthy enough to raise kids lol. And I’ve had 3 miscarriages. That was pre wade turnover… heaven help us all.
This isn't the first time this has happened, and it won't be the last. Not long ago, a 14 yr old girl in Arizona was denied medication for her arthritis because she was childbearing age.
Is it just me, or is there a *really* big push amongst Far Right Conservatives to start telling women to get back in the kitchen with their mouths shut and knowing their place...
That is...that is un-American to me. Everyone has a seat at the table. That's just like...LAW i think.
Edit - Law in my head...obviously not actual law
this is super common, my roommate took ages to be able to find a doctor that would let her get a partial hysterectomy because she's of childbearing age, despite being nearly wheelchair bound from a disability (that would almost certainly render any pregnancy either nonviable or fatal) and separated from her husband no less than four doctors demanded her husband consent and the last one before the current one wanted *her father to give permission*
*she is 27 years old*
That’s verbatim what my old PCP told me when I asked for treatment for my dangerously high cholesterol. I have a horrible family history of cardiac disease/death due to cardiac issues. Both the NP and MD refused to treat me because I am “of child bearing age.”
Didn’t bother to ask if I planned on having kids or not. They were adamant that I could harm a hypothetical potential fetus with a statin.
I got a new doctor, and likely will send the post-op report to the first practice after I get my tubes removed at the end of the summer. How dare they try to police my body.
My wife was repeatedly denied any sort of medications for depression and anxiety due to being “child bearing age” by her PCP (who was a woman surprisingly). Switched PCPs and now can get them. We don’t have children.
My wife hasn’t had a period for 7 months (not pregnant obviously and also not menopausal) the white male doctor was like “sweet, doesn’t that make your life easier?”
Like, ‘no you fucking idiot, something is wrong!’
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I mean, if only we had some sort of test that was cheap and readily available so they could ensure a woman of "childbearing age" isn't currently carrying a child. /s
And stories like these are why most people choose to just keep suffering rather than find help.
I thought Obama Care and single payer systems were supposed to create death boards? Turns out it’s actually the Christian fundamentalist influenced for profit system that has death boards.
I swear to fucking Christ I want to sterilize every single person who thinks fertility is the single most important fucking function of the human body. I only suffer from the occasional ocular migraine, but if I could fix it by sterilizing myself, I'd make that trade in a fraction of a heartbeat. And if anyone tried to stand in my way because they THINK I might regret it 20 years from now... I mean, I can't even say what I'd do cuz it'd easily result in my account getting banned.
My GYN won’t even give me a pap without paying for a pregnancy test. I’m on Nexplanon AND I haven’t had sex in over a year… but as a lying woman, I have to pay extra for tests to prove that I am not a liar.
I decided not to take the one really strong acne medicine but there was a rule that ALL females had to be on birth control when taking it. I’m a lesbian. Zero chance of me getting pregnant. No exceptions though. And I would have been forced to pay for the birth control.
Wanna know the worst part?
She said she wouldn't have children and would avoid sex if it meant she could take the meds.
"What if you're raped?" Is apparently how her doctor responded.
Oh, it's okay. The doctor is probably just Barnabas Collins from *Dark Shadows*. After that, he met another patient and told her to put her birthing hips to use.
I always wonder how much of this sort of thing is due to medical professionals themselves being assholes who want to push their beliefs onto others, and how much is due to healthcare companies demanding that medical professionals deny every treatment possible in order to save money? I'm sure there's some of both, I just wonder what that pie chart would look like.
Cluster headaches, AKA suicide headaches due to how desperate some poor souls become to make the pain stop. I hope she found someone who would actually help her, and I hope she won the lawsuit.
I feel for her.
I was denied pain medication for lupus/fibromyalgia for the same fucking reason! Here’s where it gets ridiculous:
1) I’m 43 goddamn years old. I don’t need to be having any babies. Never wanted to get pregnant. If anything, adoption was my plan.
2) I was already in the depo shot.. was seeing a man when I got the last one.. which brings in…
3) currently dating a WOMAN (I’m pansexual) who had her own kids..
4) I have PCOS, so getting pregnant and/or carrying a baby to full term (and having a healthy baby) is highly unlikely to begin with..
5) I’m also a type 1 diabetic.. a powerful trifecta of genetic diseases that I would not want to pass on to a kid
So yeah.. there’s all that. But I’m sure all of us are just “overreacting” when they overturned Roe and started allowing this sort of shit to happen.
And I get the cluster fuck migraines too. They’re the type of fuckery that make you in so much pain that suicide is actually an option.
Man I’ve had extreme migraines that left me crying in my bed in the dark for days at a time. No medicine I could get fixed them and if a doctor told me there was one and that I couldn’t have it for some dumb shit like that… I’d be in prison.
We respect the feminine and masculine nature we each have sure. We don’t protect it for fuck sake.
It’s amazing women can make life inside of them, but be damned if don’t want to go through the hell of birthing it. Nah fuck that
This is the world Republican want. This is the world that religious people want. We must fight against these groups to have a decent world for all people.
I can’t remember if it was here on reddit or fb. A woman was trying to give someone her extra breast milk because when she tried to donate it for the nicu babies, but was denied. This was due to her taking a migraine medicine 1-2x a month
Back in 2022 I found a lump in my breast. My primary called in a mammogram. The hospital denied it because I was "within child bearing age." (They love that damn phrase). I ended up getting an ultrasound instead (came back all clear thankfully).
I guess the IDEA of maybe one day being pregnant is more important than cancer prevention 🤷
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> cluster headaches Hoooooo fucking boy. Those bad boys are also known as suicide headaches because it feels like you're getting stabbed in the brain with a red hot poker. I knew one person that had them, and when he got them he just straight up cried for an hour. "But you might have children" Lol get fucked
That pos needs to lose his licence and his degree. He/she is in no way fit to be a doctor. I might have sometimes made pregnant women wait a couple of hours to wait for a senior, so that we can discuss a relatively safe plan of treatment, but I can't deny care to anyone. Not to mention this woman was not even pregnant she was just of reproductive age which is 15 to 50 years.
i like what another woman on Twitter once said: "Dr woudnt tie my tubes cuz i wasnt married and maybe somday my huband might want kids. Medically, my body belongs to a man i have never met."
Correction, your/our body belongs to a man that may not even exist. A hypothetical man. Schrödinger s man, one might say.
I was begging for a hysterectomy in my 20s. My old white male dr refused to even work me up. Kept saying I will change my mind about kids. Never did and finally got my hysterectomy in my early 40s when I went to a female OBGYN. I’m to the point I don’t think men should even be OBGYNs. Sad but they just don’t have the understanding of what we go through.
The *only* reason a doc agreed to tie my tubes was because I’d had two kids and five miscarriages (all while on different forms of birth control). They couldn’t figure out the problem, so I demanded the obvious solution.
My sister had multiple complications with her 2 pregnancies. They were worse with the second. The doctor told her that if she had a 3rd, it would probably kill her. She said “that’s ok. We have 2 together and he has 2 from his first, we are done anyway. Let’s tie my tubes!” And they told her no, because she might want another kid.
I’ve been in the same situation with 2 complicated pregnancies, each involving a surgery and both ending in C-section. My Texas OBGYN (male) was the one saying next pregnancy may end up a total disaster for my body and recommended tubal ligation. Especially, he added, considering the talks (back then) about abortion ban. And that’s exactly what we did - c-section + tubal ended in a peace of mind for me during these dark times. Grateful for my doc and furious every time I hear stories like your sister’s. Female health is no joke, neither is female life on stake, and yet here we are 😡
Sweet mercy... All these horrific stories. This is partly why I (36m) got my tubes tied for my partner who very much doesn't want kids and couldn't take them to term anyway due to the risks. Try and get around that you mysogonistic goobers
Smart decision my friend. The religious groups and their advocates can say whatever they want, but for some women pregnancy is not that much of a natural and easy-peasy process. It’s never risk free, even for generally really healthy individuals, as I am, there are so many variables in the process from getting pregnant to giving birth and postnatal period. That is why abortion is healthcare! That is why it’s up for women to decide.
“If you have a third child, it will probably kill you.” “Then let’s just get our tubes tied to prevent any risk.” “No, you might want children later on.” “But you said that having kids again would kill me?” “Yes but you’re stupid and will want them anyway.” 10/10 doctor, would recommend /s
>The doctor told her that **if she had a 3rd, it would probably kill her.** She said “that’s ok. We have 2 together and he has 2 from his first, we are done anyway. Let’s tie my tubes!” **And they told her no, because she might want another kid.** Dafuq?
Yeah same here. I have had 5 pregnacies and 3 living children my last was 18 years ago. It was my 3rd C-section and I said whilst you are in there do a sterilisation as well please. They said no because I might want more kids. Told them I was done at 43 and please! Tie s knot in it! I was on my 3rd section and had already been told not to have any more,but they still wouldn't do it! 18 years later I still have no more kids so why the hell can't they take a woman's word for it,I just don't know! My mom was just as bad,kept telling me not to have anymore and not believing that I wasn't going to?! Wth mom?!!! 🤷🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
I live in MA. I had a tubal ligation after my 2nd child. I was 36. I had to write a letter that I understood that this would make me unable to have more children, then I and my husband had to sign it. Around that time, a woman we know had a tubal ligation after she turned 30. She and her husband didn't want children, but she couldn't find any doctor willing to do a ligation on a childless woman under 30. Decades later, my DIL asked for one after her c section with a female OB. All she had to sign was a surgical consent for it as well as the c section.
What if your husband decides he’d rather you die having a kid? Clearly it’s his right to make that decision and they can’t get in his way! /s
Sounds like an unnecessarily complicated way to end her life.
My friend was told she could never carry a viable pregnancy, and trying to do so would only worsen her already poor health. So she chose to get a hysterectomy. She went under for the procedure, and when she awoke….she still had her uterus. They decided not to remove it after all, just in case. FUCK these people!!!
That is a very straight forward malpractice case. I hope your friend got $$$$
Then what the hell did they do?
😡😡🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬 "If you have another kid, you could die, based on my medical expertise, I advise you not do that. " "OK doc, let's make sure that doesn't happen." "Noooooo...if you decide you want to end your life in the future, this is the easiest way to go about it, as long as you bring a future orphan (and your existing kids lose their mom) into it." #Whattheactualf***?!
My wife wanted to get a partial hysterectomy. She has horrible periods/cramps on 1 side. The first OBGyn - a woman in Texas - looked at me and said "well do you want any more kids".... I looked her straight in the eye and said " that's not gonna be possible since I have a vasectomy over a year ago"....
What’s a partial hysterectomy?
Removing only 1 Ovary/Fallopian tube. My wife has severe endometriosis. It took a while to even find a doctor willing to perform an Ablation to alleviate her period pain. She now has a 7cm tumor in her Ovary that we tried to get removed over 5 years ago... so now they are going to take the Ovary on that side...
Fucking excuse me?
I’m sorry…fucking what??!?! “It might kill you if you have another kid, but you might want one so I can’t protect you from the possibility of death.” What the fuck happened to Hippocratic Oath? I would say that shit flew out the window, but honestly, I don’t even know it was ever in the room to begin with.
I'm sorry what
The best OBGYN I’ve had was a man, worst by far was a woman. In my late teens I was dealing with horrible periods. The cramps were so bad I couldn’t stand up straight and would throw up from the pain. My OBGYN at that point was a woman and she told me I was being overdramatic and just needed to power through the pain like every other woman has to. She said women like me were why men look down on us and make period jokes so often. I told her about my family’s extensive history with endometriosis and she said I was too skinny to have that. Found a male OBGYN when I moved away for college. When I told him about my pain, he was sympathetic and believed me. He diagnosed me with endometriosis and got me on birth control that actually helped with the symptoms. (I have had good female OBGYN’s since then, but women in conservative areas can have horrific levels of internalized misogyny)
Self loathing women are very dangerous for the rest of us.
Had to comment in solidarity because I had a somewhat similar experience when I was about 15. Throughout the first 2-3 days of my period, I would have migraines and horrible cramps that would cause me to throw up from the pain. Midol and other OTC medications didn't help with the pain, and between the cramps & migraines, it was so debilitating that I was having to miss 2-3 days of school (and sports practices, etc.) every month because all I could do was lay in my bed with the lights off. My mom was eventually convinced to let me talk to an OBGYN about going on birth control, but the first doctor we went to decided to explain that cramps are just a normal part of having periods & that I probably wasn't having migraines, just normal headaches, and even went so far as to suggest to my mom that I was just exaggerating everything in order to get out of going to school. Fortunately, my mom was like "fuck this doctor" and took me to a different OBGYN who promptly put me on birth control pills, which were extremely effective in reducing my symptoms. Both of the OBGYNs I discuss here are women, and I always thought it was particularly surprising/baffling that another woman, who presumably has firsthand experience with the shittiness of having a menstrual cycle, could be so dismissive of the symptoms I was describing.
To be fair, being a self-absorbed asshole with zero emotional intelligence or empathy outside of your own experience transcends gender 😂
There's been a lot of reporting on the exact opposite effect: There's a problem with some providers downplaying symptoms because they have similar symptoms and think you're just complaining. How about we just say that the medical field gets burned out dealing with suffering people and need to remember to listen to their patients and not just mentally lump them together into statistics.
The whole pain level thing historically is tainted as well. For years men couldn't admit how bad something hurt , for fear of being seen as weak. The whole walk it off mentally.
There's still medical schools teaching things like basically white men feel the most pain even if they say they're not, that white women are exaggerating their pain, and that Black people physically do not really feel pain. Like literally slavery justification shit.
I read a recent study that a disturbing percentage of medical students believed that African Americans have thicker skin than whites, so that injections, IVs and such didn't hurt them as much! The students were taught that this was incorrect.
Wouldn’t that make it hurt more? Like, you’re doing the equivalent of giving a shot vs getting an IV starter. Puncturing more skin would trigger more nociceptors (pain nerves), which would lead to more overall pain. Or am I misunderstanding human anatomy?
I really hope potential Drs in 2024 are hearing that and knowing it's a lie.... Like... Please dear lord.
Right? It’s insane how this is still a belief. Until around 1999, so waaaay too recently, they didn’t give babies pain medication or anesthesia for procedures because the belief was babies under one year old couldn’t feel pain. They’d just immobilize them without anything else. A lot of medicine is still operating off of “white only” diagnoses to the point that a doctor of color published a reference book showing what various rashes and ailments look like on melanated skin because it didn’t exist before the 2020s. Even now it’s believe by some that POC, especially WOC, do not feel pain as deeply as white people. Just gross.
This happened to me in 1996. I had two kids, and I knew (with certainty) I was done. “WHaT IF yOu reMarRy soMe DaY aNd WaNt MoRe?” What I wanted was relief from the fibroid knives in my uterus so I could fucking parent the actual children I already had. Assholes.
My female OB refused to tie my tubes after my second c-section because "something might happen to one of the babies," and I would want "options." Babies = lego pieces. Smfh
I mean, I get them having a solid discussion on it - when I got a vasectomy (I already had kids even) the doctor talked to me for 15 minutes to make sure I understood what was happening was mostly irreversible. But after their discussion and explaining the consequences (as they should in any elective medical procedures…) it should 100% be your choice
Unfortunately in the medical field your level of care is greatly dictated by three things. Your wealth, your gender, and your race. Poor black woman in pain? Must be just trying to score some drugs. White or Asian woman, make sure you have a permission slip from your ~~master~~ husband.
Don’t forget your weight! Doctors will blame every symptom on being overweight, even when it’s clearly not a factor.
I broke my back in the army. Put on some weight from it. Have you tried exercising more?
What’s that, you’re suffering from severe headaches and neck pain? Have you tried exercising more? Your periods are causing debilitating pain that interferes with your ability to do your job? Have you tried dieting? Your past injuries cause tremendous pain during and after any physical activity? Clearly you should go jogging, even though that exacerbates the problem. What fun.
It's not his gender that is the issue, it's his outlook... doctors treat patients with ailments and conditions they haven't experienced EVERY SINGLE DAY, unfortunately, complete scum can belong to any profession....
What do you call the person who graduates at the bottom of their class in med school? "Doctor".
The only doctor who took my pcos seriously was a man. All the female GYN's I went to after I was diagnosed dismissed my concerns because I wasn't trying to get pregnant right away.
They not only do not understand. They don’t believe we’re accurate reporters of our own symptoms & conditions. Older white men who are Christians are the least compassionate, and exhibit the most misogyny.
The only doctor that agreed to my hysterectomy was a male doctor. He’s incredible and I refer everyone to him. I had multiple female gynos refuse bc I might want kids. I was married at the time and even my ex husband was telling them “no, we don’t ever want kids!” We’re divorced but I still never want kids. I had hormonal headaches and an issue with my uterus that the hysterectomy cured and I’d do it all over again despite menopause.
My wife has had the same female OBGYN for 20 years plus, and they have an understanding, either ya do this or I’ll go elsewhere. One was tubes tied, hysterectomy, the other was taking out this black boxed birth control deal she had up her tubes I think it was.
Don't worry, we are working on that. Soon enough the man won't be hypothetical, you will be assigned to a man for reproduction. The even better news is you will get plenty of reminders to smile more and a sweet bonnet and red cloak as well.
YUP!! I said the same thing as soon as Roe was overturned! The signs are all there... we're just too stupid to listen as a country and keep electing these misogynistic old white men (mostly) who will not be happy until every woman has to ask her husband for permission to go buy groceries and kids my daughter's age (19) are barefoot and pregnant!! 😞😡🤦♀️
Pretty accurate for Idaho.
Works for the Supreme Court, apparently.
LOL fantastic. He may exist or maybe not We must open your box to know, so we can’t treat the headaches.
Doctor wouldn't tie mine and I am married but he said if something happens to my husband my theoretical second husband might want kids.
1. “Then he should marry another theoretical woman.” 2. “I talked to him, he said he doesn’t mind.”
Medically speaking, your body belongs to your 2nd husband you might never have.
just insult the shit out of him and remind him that it's none of his fucking business.
Yes, i have seen that post multiple times. Honestly i am lacking enough abuses to describe what i feel about those doctors. I may advise in favour of or against a particular procedure from my point of view as a doctor, { not my own religious beliefs} but ultimately it should be patient's decision if they want that procedure or not.
Saw that reposted on Reddit. It's absolutely bonkers to me. Some of the responses were trying to justify it as "oh but you might change your mind later in life", as if people in the world don't make permanent life altering choices every day
> reproductive age We can't have reproduction be halted, guys between ages 15-50 will also need to be denied medical treatment at the doctor's discretion. /s
Women are cattle in some states
I remember getting one once as a kid. Lasted the whole day, eyes were watering uncontrollably. Felt like someone was drilling into one specific part of my head. Parents took me to a doctor and they didn’t believe it was a cluster headache because I was a 10 year old girl, and they’re more common for older men or smokers, told my parents to give me paracetamol.
I suffered cluster headaches from 9 until 50. Suicide was a thought far too many times to count. Only butalbital and later, midrin saved my life. I'm certain I would not have survived much past 27 if not for those two drugs. Side note: all the doctors I would see from 9 until 23-ish kept prescribing Tylenol 3. What a joke that crap was. I basically destroyed my liver taking 12 500mg Tylenol caps at least twice a week before I found a more educated doctor. Most people simply have no clue about this pain. I was lucky to find him and I often thought about those that did not find an understanding and educated doctor.
I used to get cluster headaches and stabbed in the brain with a red hot poker is as accurate as it gets. I would hide under a comforter with an ice pack around the back of my head, shielding out sound and light which were excruciating. It’s completely understandable why they are called suicide headaches, your brain wants to get out of that situation in any way possible.
TIL I get cluster headaches, not migraines. I do the exact same things when I get one.
Similarly I think I'm firmly on the migraine side thankfully. I thought these were as bad as it got but I guess not...
I get migraines from any headache if I don't take medication. You really don't wanna cry when it gets bad because crying makes it so much worse. If he was crying it was definitely at the point he couldn't hold it back anymore. Also I have had a migraine cause me to throw up a few times and it felt like my head was gonna explode each time I did.
I suffer from chronic migraines and when they first became chronic the doctor was reluctant to give me a certain preventative because I'm "a woman of childbearing age". I shut that down immediately. I'm lucky that I was able to get my tubes tied while my second was born by c section, otherwise it might have been more of a battle. The medication didn't even work.
Preventatives didn't work for me either. Please have a look at fioranol/fioracet/butalbital or midrin. When I first discovered butalbital, it was like magic.
ketoprofen is a straight fucking godsend. I'd gladly pay free rounds for life to whoever discovered that molecule.
The hope from a new med, followed by the first migraine it doesn't prevent. Brutal. I found out I'm completely intolerant of opioids during a migraine. Like a regular migraine, but somehow with *more* brain fog, crawling skin and somehow more unstoppable vomiting. After that it was sedation. Don't treat for the pain, Put. Me. Out. Finally found an anti-epileptic that prevents most of them, good luck I hope you find relief.
I also get migraines so I'm with you so far. But cluster headaches are a different thing entirely and a full step up in terms of intensity. It's full on torture levels of pain.
I started with migrains at 9, graduated to tension leading to migraines at 17 (3x as bad, but at least you get a warning). At 22, I finally graduated to the big time with cluster headaches and suicide was a viable option every single time (this was 10x my migraines as they sometimes came with a warning and other times wacked me on the back of my head with a hammer then clawed their way around the right side of my head until they reached my eye). Oh, younger Kenny thinks, it won't get worse than this, will it? My younger self had no clue and the doctors he consulted had even less of a clue. I had always sought out older, more experienced docs because I incorrectly assumed they would have the answer, but it was a very young doctor that eventually came to my rescue. I never thanked him enough.
As a side note my mate suffers these regularly he gets some relief by doing magic mushrooms 🍄
I suffered from cluster headaches before. It would wake me up the same time every night. I would have to go into the bathtub and use a towel like a tourniquet tying it around my head as tight as possible. I’d wet the towel with scalding hot water from be faucet. Rinse and repeat. These headaches would last 2 hours. Everything I did was to try and make the 2 hours bearable.
Interesting. Mine were eventually surmised to be a genetic issue. They always and I mean always lasted 24 hours. I had a very good friend long ago and her clusters lasted 5 days exactly. Even with midrin, she took her life and I understand.
My husband had cluster headaches start happening when he got Lyme disease about 8 years ago. They’re so absolutely horrible and nothing really helps. He would be unable to do anything….just lay in bed with lights off, quiet house as much as possible and he’d just lay there and moan or cry. The sound of the ceiling fan would be too much. Or my cat jumping off a table in a different room. They lasted on and off for a few years but he hasn’t had one in about 3-4 years.
I have barometric pressure headaches, not as bad as when I was a kid but still bad enough. I'll keep them rather than have cluster headaches, thanks.
> feels like you're getting stabbed in the brain with a red hot poker. I used to describe it like a red hot ice pick being shoved in the inner corner of my right eye. The pain intensifies and then pops like a bubble, but repeat that cycle for 15-20 minutes. It was so painful that doctors thought I was drug seeking until my doctor figured out what was wrong. It is absolutely the worst pain I've ever experienced.
I saw her post appointment car freak out and I am so mad for her. I’ve had cluster style migraines since I can remember (they are migraines but come in clusters like cluster headaches) and I have entertained the idea of washing my mouth out with a revolver over them. It really is that bad. However you imagine it, but way worse. I hope she wins. Adding: To the concerned redditor who reported my post - I am fine lol
Man, if someone refused to treat my migraines i'd be washing *their* mouthes. Then plead temporary insanity due to the migraine's pain.
The necessary next step in our National Healthcare drama
Lol! Right?!
Especially the ones where you can't stop puking from the pain. Fuck that shit.
I have heard that high flow oxygen is a very helpful with cluster headaches. I am a paramedic and treated a man with them. He was in agony and hated even calling 911 cause drugs don’t work, but he couldn’t cope. I can’t remember why it came up. But we gave him oxygen for about 20 min and he ended up staying home. Can be worth a google and talk to a doctor for you
If only I had insurance coverage
Ugh. What about going to a first aid store? They sell all the supplies you’d need
Yes. If you suffer from clusters, buy a large O2 tank from a welding supply company. They'll also probably be able to build you a nice rig for it for a few bucks. The gas they use for welding is pure, you can breathe it. This has saved my life. But technique is important, so go to the cluster headache forum and learn.
Did this once when I worked around aviators oxygen (92%). Just hooked myself up with a bottle with a nasal cannula. Worked really well tbh.
Male, but suffered clusters off and on through the 90s, can attest to how brutally painful they are. Tried multiple doctors/neurologists…my Uncle read somewhere that one theory was Melatonin deficiency caused them. I started taking it nightly before bed, and I’ve not had them since. Can’t speak for others, and this woman’s story w the doctor is obscene, but if you read this as a cluster sufferer you might try melatonin.
My boss had terrible migraines every week. He had a customer ask him how much red meat he ate. Maybe 3-4 times a week. Customer suggested he just cut it from his diet and see if it helps. No migraines after that.
Even after I discovered butalbital and midrin, I whet thru a plethora of diets and preventative meds in an attempt to curtail then. Nothing worked. I'm convinced that migrains/clusters/tensions are from a very broad range of causes and what works for one person may not work for another.
I remember Midrin! I had debilitating migraines from about 5th or 6th grade through about 8th or 9th grade and then they just kind of tapered off and went away. I still get normal tension headaches and I still get fairly severe sinus headaches due to my allergies but I don't really get migraines anymore can't even remember the last time I got one thankfully.
The issue with headaches is they are a very common symptom, my whole family gets them when there's sudden pressure changes like storms or temperature changes if they are fast enough.
I missed work yesterday because of a migraine brought on by a sudden temp increase and a storm system. I feel your pain.
My youngest kid thought Daddy's headaches *made* thunderstorms when she was little.
Well, I can't do that! I guess I'll try the melatonin 🤣
I wonder if his headaches were in part a function of high blood pressure. I have blood pressure issues which I've spent the last two years getting a handle on, through medication, diet and lifestyle changes. When my pressure got REAL high, I would get a persistent, aching, throbbing headache. Red meat consumption is one of the biggest single contributors to high blood pressure (with salt, stress and obesity being the other three).
They put me on melatonin too. What a lot of people don't realize about cluster headaches is that, unlike migraines which can last for days, cluster headaches are relatively quick. If you took a pain killer (or whatever) when the headache set in, it would be over in 15 minutes before the drugs could actually do anything. You pretty much have to rip apart your life to see if you can find whatever is causing it--and good luck with that because doctors aren't sure what causes them--or take whatever preventatives they give you. Mine just went away one day, but I'm terrified they're going to come back. Easily the worst pain I've ever experienced.
Under his eye
May the Lord open.
Blessed be the fruit.
[Found](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/new-york-hospital-childbearing-age-b2425613.html) the news article, it gets worse from the headline.
JFC. That was a roller coaster of a read. That woman is suffering so much because of people beliefs and opinions. Your opinion shouldn't fucking matter in a medical emergency. Facts are facts. That woman needed medical intervention and was refused it because of people's egos and personal opinions. Thank you for sharing the article link.
Imagine sitting there not being able to do anything until you can start that long process of trying to get some justice from this bull crap.
I'm not sure if I want children or not but if anyone teated me like that I would decide against it out of pure pettiness tbh. It feels dehumanizing and humiliating when people put your not-even-existing children over your needs.
And it wouldn’t even prevent her from having future children!! She would have to stop the meds, but she could make that choice!!
Excellent choice of words! Better wording then me! I have known since my teenage years I do not want children. My go to response when someone asks me is "children shouldn't have children". I 100% know I am NOT suited to be a parent. For many, many, reasons I know without a doubt I am not suited for it.
Doctor: "Cellcept does not have side effects on pregnant women." Also doctor: "Think deeply on the side effects of using cellcept."
Oh, that was after she made him read that Cellcept has side effects, which he patently denied it having, then taking the moral high ground when she proved him wrong.
Jesus fucking christ... that poor woman. Screw every single person who worked against her, in clear disregard for her health and safety. They should all lose their licenses and have to pay her substantial payouts.
I hope she ends up owning doctor Braimans house. Take him to the cleaners
I hope she sues them for everything they’re worth
Pfft, she just doesn't realize that having children IS the cure to her problems. Depression? Just have a baby! Ovaries hurting? Uterus causing you so much pain you can't get out of bed? Have a baby! Mental health issues so severe you actually considering the suicisideways? Have a baby! Headaches, toothaches, broken foot, sinus infection, arm cut off from a car accident, or a weird lump in your breast? Babies are the cure! /S
I know you’re being sarcastic, but my last obgyn literally told me this. It was more for my endometriosis, but he was like “getting pregnant will help!” and I just stared at him. Am I supposed to be pregnant until I go through menopause? I asked if there was something HE could do to help me and he was like “oh, we can’t prove you even have it, so no. Anyways, did you want a refill of your birth control?”
My doctor told me this too when I was 19!!!
Exactly! I was told that having 2-3 children should fix things, I was barely sixteen!
What. The actual. Fuck!? 🤦♀️
Also he refused to prescribe me any form of birth control that could help with the debilitating pain, because that may cause iNFeRtiLity... but he's still the best reviewed obgyn in my city, since he allegedly provides the best prenatal care
Seems like he just cares about delivering babies and none of the other issues
I forced my doctor to do an investigative laparascopy for the endo. It took 5 years of being in constant pain before they would do it and diagnose me, and laser the tissue out. Then the dr pushed me off on another dr cause she didn't want to deal with me anymore. Then, I was unable to take birth control to manage the endo due to other health issues. Back to horrible pain. Finally found a reasonable dr - went to appointment almost crying with research to prove I needed a hysterectomy. She just said ok, when you want to do it? Soooo happy I found her.
Decapitated? Have a baby! /s
Good. And I hope it got some eyes on her case to get her headaches treated properly. That shit messes up your life. I never had kids because of mine and I had that same BS done to me till my 40's
They care so much about making women have kids but don't give a shit about them or the kid they force them to have.
BINGO! 🎯
It's the American way
"Oh you have a debilitating medical condition that you want treatment for? But think of the children you may never have or even want!"
Her partner had had a vasectomy already.
But think of the children! /s
Or the imaginary next partner/husband who may not even exist! Can't forget about HIS rights... they MUST be considered and come before hers! Priorities people... /s 🤦♀️
Let's get really dark... She might want to keep the child of her rapist.
Sometimes it baffles me how people this dumb can even get doctorate… Like what is a point of “ChIlD bEaRiNg AgE” when she commits suicide due to pain, long before she can even give birth…?
Sometimes the pursuit of an advanced degree will reinforce to people that they “know better” than everyone else because they’ve been to school and have that degree. I used to work with doctors and it’s insane the number of them who will straight up ignore what other people say, even if the thing they’re saying is clearly beneficial, because they don’t want to do it or because they think they know better. I can’t imagine how that translates to patient care
I had to demand a longer-term monitor (I’d gotten a 24-hour one previously) for heart palpitations because “it’s just your ADHD meds and your anxiety causing palpitations.” I was given a one-month monitor. I had it for less than 2 weeks before they determined I needed surgery.
Im too lazy to look up the exact number but I came across a stat a while back that says women often go to something like 7-8 doctors before being prescribed proper care. My wife had to go to 3 doctors before she was able to get an MRI to confirm that the lump she was feeling was cancer. It’s disgusting that women are so often just blown off because people don’t believe them. I don’t know your gender but it really sucks that you also had to go through something like that needlessly.
I work with doctors, but outside a clinic setting where conversations are often about business plans, etc. They fall into the expertise trap a lot- “I’m an expert on this, so I can figure anything out.” It can lead to some profoundly stupid ideas. Some are polymaths, and they tend to be the ones who are critical thinkers and recognize where they aren’t the right subject matter expert to answer a question. After being in this job for 10 years, my theory is that a lot of our education system, even higher ed, teaches procedures rather than critical thinking. You can do a lot of intricate and important work with procedures alone - “if a patient has x indication and y comorbidity, I should recommend z procedure.” It’s a lot of knowledge to master just learning these procedures, but it doesn’t make you into a polymath. That kind of broader thinking requires you to master logic and reason, research methods, and have interest in other fields. Just my observations. Some of the docs I’ve worked with have been the brightest people I know and others have such poor judgment I wonder how they haven’t gotten themselves killed yet.
It's the same with lawyers. The same person who effectively analyzes a client's constitutional rights in litigation, might be completely unable to apply the same thinking when it comes to a social or political issue. Or, once in a while when there's a big change in precedent, they'll get stuck in the old way of doing things. Like, they'll know that they're using a strategy that doesn't make sense anymore, but it's like they can't help themselves.
>Sometimes it baffles me how people this dumb can even get doctorate… Christian *medical* colleges exist...and a lot of those people come out more Christian than doctor.
How very republican of the doctor…
Putting the fun back into fundamentalism
What is with people trying to push thier birthing fetish on to women and denying them any proper treatment
Gotta keep the population growing for cheap labor /S
-Doctor, my head really hurts -h a v e y o u t r i e d g e t t i n g p r e g n a n t ?
This was kind of a problem we used to have in Ireland up until we decriminalised abortion six years ago. Women "of childbearing age" would routinely be required to take pregnancy tests before they were "allowed" to undergo procedures or being prescribed medication that was known to cause spontaneous miscarriage or birth defects. If they refused, they would be denied access to the healthcare. Ireland's constitution permitted limited abortion where the woman's life was in danger\*, with jail time for doctors and women of up to 7 years for carrying out an illegal abortion. So yeah, doctors couldn't/wouldn't give women healthcare if there was the slightest chance at all that they might be pregnant. "I'm a lesbian", "I'm a virgin", "I'm 12"; made no difference. All had to do it. ^(\*But even then you basically had to be nearly dead before you could get one)
So, you came in for a knife in your leg I see. Hmmm, I think your best option would be to leave it in so men can more easily prey on you and give you their seed. I wouldn’t mind doing that myself, but I have to be a professional at my job. Damnit!
The next question would surely have been "And when was the date of your last period?"
In the age of "political correctness" and progress, I never thought I would get to experience a Western society where women are once again reduced to being nothing more than a womb. I'm not surprised if women will be declared incompetent again. Awful stuff.
Lets just say that those headaches stops any childmaking activity dead cold, so get her the treatment and treat her like an actual human.
Does it cause erectile difficulty in her Commander?
I've had one of those. It feels like you're dying. It lasted for hours. These so-called doctors are insane. edit: kindly refrain from giving unqualified "medical advice" to a stranger who didn't ask for it. I am under no obligation to describe my medical history to you.
I don’t go to older, male doctors, because they are the worst about not treating women for pain. They’re not the only doctors who do this, but they’re worse about it. They usually don’t even give us a reason. If these men are Christians, they are often the most merciless practitioners. They’ll pray for me, but they won’t prescribe me anything for pain. They are useless & clueless. They must teach them misogyny in medical school.
I have a friend with severe uterine issues. Im not really sure of exact issues. But she is anemic, had pretty much constant bleeding, and is always in pain. She has no plans to ever have children as she has a few medical and mental health issues she doesnt want to pass on. Not to mention that she just never has been interested to become a parent. Shes mid 20's capable of making a decision. Doctors routinely neglect and downplay her reproductive issues. She has no idea the cause. Only knowledge she has is her mother had hysterectomy around 40 because of endometrial or ovarian cancer. they say she cant have hysterectomy now because her future husband might want kids. A man she hasnt even met is in charge of her healthcare. And the most laughable part; shes a lesbian. She doesnt even like men.
I had these, some of these attacks lasted for weeks with ups and downs. The only "medicine" that was working for me against cluster headaches was pure oxygen, so I still have a few bottles at home. For a migraine injections of imigran/sumatriptan are working for me.
It seems really infantilizing to me that doctors in this country won’t let women make medical decisions for themselves because the consequences might be that they won’t be able to have children. Same shit as women who want to be medically sterilized because they don’t want children but can’t. No one but the woman in question should be able to make that call, that’s what informed consent is about
Blame the people with a high position of power that have it in their heads that only THEY know what's right or wrong when it comes to other peoples bodies
I’ve seen far too many of these types of stories where Drs will refuse care for women should she might one day want to have kids.
I’ve been there for years where I live (Bible Belt) even though I have PCOS, Endometriosis and don’t ovulate properly. Since there is a 0.001% chance I could get pregnant no one will give me a hysterectomy…. Even though I’ve repeatedly said I’m trans, I don’t like or want kids. I am not even healthy enough to raise kids lol. And I’ve had 3 miscarriages. That was pre wade turnover… heaven help us all.
The r/childfree sub has a list of doctors who are willing to do it. Listed in the sidebar by state.
This isn't the first time this has happened, and it won't be the last. Not long ago, a 14 yr old girl in Arizona was denied medication for her arthritis because she was childbearing age.
Is it just me, or is there a *really* big push amongst Far Right Conservatives to start telling women to get back in the kitchen with their mouths shut and knowing their place... That is...that is un-American to me. Everyone has a seat at the table. That's just like...LAW i think. Edit - Law in my head...obviously not actual law
this is super common, my roommate took ages to be able to find a doctor that would let her get a partial hysterectomy because she's of childbearing age, despite being nearly wheelchair bound from a disability (that would almost certainly render any pregnancy either nonviable or fatal) and separated from her husband no less than four doctors demanded her husband consent and the last one before the current one wanted *her father to give permission* *she is 27 years old*
That’s verbatim what my old PCP told me when I asked for treatment for my dangerously high cholesterol. I have a horrible family history of cardiac disease/death due to cardiac issues. Both the NP and MD refused to treat me because I am “of child bearing age.” Didn’t bother to ask if I planned on having kids or not. They were adamant that I could harm a hypothetical potential fetus with a statin. I got a new doctor, and likely will send the post-op report to the first practice after I get my tubes removed at the end of the summer. How dare they try to police my body.
My wife was repeatedly denied any sort of medications for depression and anxiety due to being “child bearing age” by her PCP (who was a woman surprisingly). Switched PCPs and now can get them. We don’t have children.
My wife hasn’t had a period for 7 months (not pregnant obviously and also not menopausal) the white male doctor was like “sweet, doesn’t that make your life easier?” Like, ‘no you fucking idiot, something is wrong!’
Ah yes, women being denied health care and control of their own body because men see them as dumb, broodmares. Classic.
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I mean, if only we had some sort of test that was cheap and readily available so they could ensure a woman of "childbearing age" isn't currently carrying a child. /s And stories like these are why most people choose to just keep suffering rather than find help.
How are we paying so much for the health care system when the service is so horrible?
OMG. Cluster headaches are horrific. People have literally unalived themselves over them. Just treat her, ffs.
I thought Obama Care and single payer systems were supposed to create death boards? Turns out it’s actually the Christian fundamentalist influenced for profit system that has death boards.
Ah god wtf
My wife has Endo and could not get treatment beyond pain medication because she does not have any children yet. Fuck private hospitals
I swear to fucking Christ I want to sterilize every single person who thinks fertility is the single most important fucking function of the human body. I only suffer from the occasional ocular migraine, but if I could fix it by sterilizing myself, I'd make that trade in a fraction of a heartbeat. And if anyone tried to stand in my way because they THINK I might regret it 20 years from now... I mean, I can't even say what I'd do cuz it'd easily result in my account getting banned.
Well, she's a just an adult woman and these are hypothetical future fetuses were talking about. Fetuses that could be boys! /s
they don't care about a woman's health, they only care about us being incubators 👍
My GYN won’t even give me a pap without paying for a pregnancy test. I’m on Nexplanon AND I haven’t had sex in over a year… but as a lying woman, I have to pay extra for tests to prove that I am not a liar.
I decided not to take the one really strong acne medicine but there was a rule that ALL females had to be on birth control when taking it. I’m a lesbian. Zero chance of me getting pregnant. No exceptions though. And I would have been forced to pay for the birth control.
Wanna know the worst part? She said she wouldn't have children and would avoid sex if it meant she could take the meds. "What if you're raped?" Is apparently how her doctor responded.
Oh, it's okay. The doctor is probably just Barnabas Collins from *Dark Shadows*. After that, he met another patient and told her to put her birthing hips to use.
whattt?? 😳 WTAF man!!
Good! More women should start suing. Maybe then they'd take our pain seriously.
I always wonder how much of this sort of thing is due to medical professionals themselves being assholes who want to push their beliefs onto others, and how much is due to healthcare companies demanding that medical professionals deny every treatment possible in order to save money? I'm sure there's some of both, I just wonder what that pie chart would look like.
Cluster headaches, AKA suicide headaches due to how desperate some poor souls become to make the pain stop. I hope she found someone who would actually help her, and I hope she won the lawsuit.
I’m fully convinced some men don’t see women as people. Just walking baby making machines for cooking dinner and for them to fuck
I feel for her. I was denied pain medication for lupus/fibromyalgia for the same fucking reason! Here’s where it gets ridiculous: 1) I’m 43 goddamn years old. I don’t need to be having any babies. Never wanted to get pregnant. If anything, adoption was my plan. 2) I was already in the depo shot.. was seeing a man when I got the last one.. which brings in… 3) currently dating a WOMAN (I’m pansexual) who had her own kids.. 4) I have PCOS, so getting pregnant and/or carrying a baby to full term (and having a healthy baby) is highly unlikely to begin with.. 5) I’m also a type 1 diabetic.. a powerful trifecta of genetic diseases that I would not want to pass on to a kid So yeah.. there’s all that. But I’m sure all of us are just “overreacting” when they overturned Roe and started allowing this sort of shit to happen. And I get the cluster fuck migraines too. They’re the type of fuckery that make you in so much pain that suicide is actually an option.
So cis women and afabs 13-50 years of age shouldn’t have access to medication? Yeah and we DEFINITELY don’t need equal rights in this country/s/
Looks like she let the case expire but that the nurse probably lost her license at least.
What is childbearing age, is it a defined age group they have because it would be different for different people.
Man I’ve had extreme migraines that left me crying in my bed in the dark for days at a time. No medicine I could get fixed them and if a doctor told me there was one and that I couldn’t have it for some dumb shit like that… I’d be in prison.
At first I thought it was because she was pregnant and thought it made sense and then I realized she wasn't and i just couldn't even.
We respect the feminine and masculine nature we each have sure. We don’t protect it for fuck sake. It’s amazing women can make life inside of them, but be damned if don’t want to go through the hell of birthing it. Nah fuck that
This is the world Republican want. This is the world that religious people want. We must fight against these groups to have a decent world for all people.
I can’t remember if it was here on reddit or fb. A woman was trying to give someone her extra breast milk because when she tried to donate it for the nicu babies, but was denied. This was due to her taking a migraine medicine 1-2x a month
I’m a man and I get those. They are miserable. Someone here described them as a red hot poker to the brain and that is accurate. Fuck that doctor.
Back in 2022 I found a lump in my breast. My primary called in a mammogram. The hospital denied it because I was "within child bearing age." (They love that damn phrase). I ended up getting an ultrasound instead (came back all clear thankfully). I guess the IDEA of maybe one day being pregnant is more important than cancer prevention 🤷
So from like 16 to 45 a hospital would just tell her no? That's fucking stupid.
“Hi are you 18-45? Then SUCK IT UP AND ENJOY YOUR HEADACHE!”