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snafoomoose

On the application just write "I am qualified to run for President".


killian1208

Over 35, male, and Christian?


XRT28

>Over ~~35~~ 75, male, and Christian FTFY


ISV_VentureStar

>Over ~~35~~ 75, male, and ~~Christian~~ rich FTFTFY


Direspark

Cause you know damn well he hasn't prayed to anyone except himself


EyeAmKnotABot

Yeah, but he’s preyed on quite a few people. No one has preyed on more people in the entire bigly world.


Akenero

"I'm the best preyer in the country, no, the world, nobody preys like I do. I think if anyone else here were to try and prey they'd find themselves hard pressed to do like I do" -proceeds to ramble about washing machines or something


Watts300

“Probableeeeeee equal.” https://youtu.be/ERUngQUCsyE?si=4QPaZg_Hc-fDdX8D


Djslender6

> Over ~~35~~ 75, male, ~~Christian~~ rich, and allergic to truth FTFTFTFY


SpaceToot

"Christian"


_Ocean_Machine_

I call it "Pray for Pay"


Echinodermis

Prayola?


_Ocean_Machine_

Damn, I haven't thought about payola since music school a decade ago lol


Minute-Wrap-2524

And everyone is above the law…laws just get in the way


purrcthrowa

Maybe the question should be amended to "have you even been convicted of 35 felonies?".


oxidezblood

"So, i noticed on your resume that youve only commited 23 felonies?" *yes* "Rookie numbers. Get outta my office you virgin."


LumpyCapital

![gif](giphy|YmQLj2KxaNz58g7Ofg)


Sweaty-Pizza

It needs a pic from the gentleman lol I a to pissed to find it lol


HucHuc

Sounds like a normal day at Wall Street to me.


MrLanesLament

*sniffs uncontrollably* gimme an hour I can do more


FamousTransition1187

Bro, how in the world are you going to get the Judicial System to do ANYTHING USEFUL in an hour?


tboykov

"if you work at it and commit more felonies, one day you could even be president"


Dark_Magicion

"Bless your heart, we commit 23 felonies every morning before lunch, I'm afraid you're not going to be a good fit here. Come back when you have at least a solid triple digit count sweetie".


leyla00

No please! I’ve commited way more! I’ve just only been CONVICTED of 23!


ThoughtAdditional212

34+


OkFineIllUseTheApp

And we shall dub this new hiring law: rule 34.


ThoughtAdditional212

Look up Donald Trump rule 34 to find out about the changes in the requirements to run for presidency


nicknamesas

God i hope that isnt a thing


ThoughtAdditional212

If it exists, there is p*rn of it


nicknamesas

I know i just... ehhh. Humans were a mistake


Aardvark120

Lmao! Massive mistake.


FreddieCaine

It's ok, we won't be around for long


Naked-Jedi

Not if we keep kicking that little robot.


bwaredapenguin

I mean we've got people out there wearing diapers in support of this piece of actual shit. In right wing comics and AI shit he's always depicted as jacked. Of course these fucking cultists are rubbing it out to him on the daily, and surely some artists have sold their soul and cashed in on this.


billthebuttstuffer

Dont say that, then rule 35 kicks in


Intelligent_Ebb4887

It'll be like age choices- 1-17, 18-24, 25-39, 40-64, 65+


Cold-dead-heart

Poor Donald can’t tick the 1-17 box anymore


funnystuff79

I think he's had several 1-17 boxes


dentendre

This.


vivalaibanez

"How many of those felonies were 'official acts'?"


Hemiak

No it needs to be exactly 34. Anything less is still bad, and more is… actually he probably has more coming. /S


ozzyman31495

The same people who want a felon to be president, don’t want felons to vote. Seems a bit hypocritical to me.


HotLandscape9755

One street i saw two political signs. “Vote Republican, law and order party” And “Im voting for the felon” Like fucking christ


leni710

That's so confusing in a goofy, idiotic sort of way. No wonder young voters often times don't care to participate, they're up against this type of nonsense. Not to mention, some kids are actually taught right from wrong but then simultaneously have family and/or community members telling them to vote for the felon like it's a badge of honor. Well, then don't tell kids not to commit felonies, because they just learned it's fine and don't have the nuanced insight (thanks to gutting real education) to understand the multi-tiered system of "justice" in the U.S.


HotLandscape9755

My dad taught me right from wrong, and was a great man up until 2016. Now all he talks about is 150,000,000 illegals crossing the border every day, anti vac shit, rigged elections and china shipping 17 tonnes of fenty across the border every day. It genuinely feels like trump has taken my dad from me and made him someone I cannot stand being around. Idk if he was ready to be this person and trump was just the catalyst to underlying problems but… yeah. I cant spend 15 minutes with him without just getting sad that his entire brain is consumed by this fear mongering own the lib shit. Car covered in joe and the hoe gotta go stickers, im voting for the felon sign in yard… new trump flag every time he loses and they need to change the years on the flag..


BenFlightMusic

Thats really sad. I watched people in real time vote for him just to take the piss as a joke and then double down on the delusion when they realized it wasn't a joking matter. It went from "i like him, i think he's funny, he pisses off the liberals" to drinking the kool aid real quick. I lost friends over this shit. To me that's the most dangerous thing about him, not the shit he did in office but what he did to people's heads.


Status_Basket_4409

Exactly right, and that’s how cults are formed. By honeyed dangerous words


peppermintesse

They are a cult now, without question


gregn8r1

I kind of completely forgot about how people treated him when he first ran... He was a joke, some kind of goofy caricature who was over-the top far right, people joked but nobody seemed serious about voting for him. But then those opinion polls showed him rising until suddenly the joke candidate was on top.


SEND_MOODS

Most didn't see it as a joke. Most Trump voters heard "drain the swamp," "repeal Obamacare," "build a wall and make mexico pay for it," "suspend immigration," and "cut taxes," and they believed it and believed it to be good for them. They trusted him and thought "all politicians are swindlers, so why not anyone else. And hey the government is basically a business!" It wasn't a joke to mannnyyyy Republican voters.


Medryn1986

Trump did take my dad from me with shitty covid policies that he passed to his base


radarneo

I’m really sorry. I can’t imagine being in that situation. The closest I have is my great aunt falling down the trumpy rabbit hole, but your dad? Jeez man. That’s rough.


Interesting_Sign_373

Oh hi we have the same parents. I don't know if I can ever forgive them for how they've changed and what they've done.


mano-beppo

Check out “The Brainwashing of my Dad.” It’s a good documentary. 


gmishaolem

They believe in good and bad people, not good and bad acts. Thus if their priest is a rapist, it's just a moment of weakness, but if a member of the opposite political party builds houses for poor people, it's virtue signalling.


thedankening

"Law and order" has always been nothing but a conservative dog whistle for the state beating down minorities and leftists so it still tracks for them.


Bardsie

Don't worry. If the felon becomes president, there won't be any voting for anyone going forward. Edit: lol. my joke seems to have triggered so many snowflakes.


The_Clarence

> 139 more replies This should be interesting


Dbob4

Many a true word spoken in jest


KyleShanaham

177 replies on a one hour old comment lol truth always hurts a little bit more


HippoPebo

The joke landed just right with the sane ones. Sing it, Bardsie!


MyBllsYrChn

What do you mean? They still vote in Russia...


MaximumKnow

Interesting the same man has been re elected so many times.


MyBllsYrChn

Putin is such a manly man his opponents cheers him with tea and throw themselves out of windows to honor his greatness.


aXeOptic

Dont forget that they commit suicide with 7 bullets to the head too.


Bob_Sacamano7379

And poison themselves!


furcryingoutloud

To be more precise, to the back of the head. FTFY


DoubleResponsible276

What can I say, he’s a people’s person. FOR THE PEOPLE!!!!!!


BisexualCaveman

And those people are all Vladimir Putin.


DoubleResponsible276

Well he is the people


Scuzzbag

He's just very popular, it's all about the charisma with that guy


Paradoxbox00

115% approval rating!


PsychoticMessiah

Rizz as the kids say.


ihaxr

134% voter turnout!


EntropyKC

An overwhelming landslide of 114% votes for Putin, and only 8% against (rest undecided)


beardicusmaximus8

Reminds me of a very old joke about how corrupt the US politics were a hundred years ago. It was said you could take the local voter registration and walk through the local graveyard and the names would match the tombstones and be in the same order


EntropyKC

In Putin's Russia it's the same but in reverse... They vote, then get their tombstone.


GitmoGrrl1

We're capitalists. We produce the best politicians money can buy.


FullMetal_55

I read that in Yakov smirnoffs voice.


FloydDangerBarber

Especially Illinois. *Source: Am Illinois resident*


Bob_Sacamano7379

Coincidentally, 8% of the population has been relocated to the Arctic Circle.


ZombieBarney

Vote early and vote often, comrade!


OpusAtrumET

They vote. The votes don't matter.


KwisatzSazerac

Sure they matter. Putin hasn’t needed to buy toilet paper in years. 


Clean_Student8612

And like 95% just happen to vote for Putin every time since the late 90s/early 2000s! He's THAT loved.


Maleficent_Sir_7562

They still vote in North Korea too!


krastevitsa

With 100,% turnover


bigg_bubbaa

102%


Graingy

But who listens? The FSB, I’m sure.


Livid_Advertising_56

"Vote" fify


MyBllsYrChn

![gif](giphy|xT9IgHCTfp8CRshfQk)


RebaKitt3n

I think you’re right. Treat this election like it may be the last.


Ok_Airline_9031

Exactly. We'll never have to worry about voting again.


Detective_Soulhex129

Can't have voter fraud if we eliminate voting


Dakkel-caribe

You do have a fair grasp of where this is going. Lol


Glittering-Wonder576

You’re right, Bardsie.


MediaDad

Unfortunately, your statement is not a joke. Trump would, indeed, make himself President (Dictator) for life.


Shuizid

He's also a pedophile rapist and appreantly that doesn't bother the "protect the chidlren and family values" party.


Individual-Bell-9776

Trump proves that everyone who raised a big stink about values only ever cared about platitudes.


glue2music

You already lost the MAGAts by using “platitudes”….their brains froze right there.


Top-Mycologist-7169

Trump raising the big stink too from all the poop sitting in his diapers at any given moment.


Individual-Bell-9776

Internal consistency isn't needed as long as you worship Jebus Crapst.


ReturnedFromExile

He also habitually refuses to pay contractors, and yet many blue color contractor types love him.


OldAd5925

They want to "protect the children" against what exactly?


TootBreaker

The woke mind virus, of course! Dang kids these days gettin' too uppity, saying 'no' to all the old ways...


Ramtamtama

He's divorced and had affairs, but that doesn't bother the "Bible and Constitution are the only books I need" crowd, who have usually read neither.


Kage-Oni

That only bothers Republicans when the pedophile rapist is not white or rich.


[deleted]

Because these people don't want to protect the children or family values at all. Their only goal is to torment queer people.


[deleted]

You forgot nazi, Donald j Hitler is a nazi and Project 2025 proves it


TheDarkCobbRises

You can't be a felon, and have a security clearance. How is he supposed to be the president if he can't legally hold a clearance?


nismo2070

Hell, there is a LONG list of countries that won't let you in if you are a convicted felon. Most maga owned businesses wouldn't even hire him!!! Party of law and order......lol


lileebean

You can't cross into Canada with a dui...


Amelaclya1

Unfortunately, the president is the ultimate arbiter of who can have security clearance. Kushner actually had his clearance denied at the beginning of Trump's presidency because of all of his overseas business dealings. And Trump overrode it and gave it to him anyway.


ReturnedFromExile

because the the president is not subject to security clearance protocol. Presumably the American people would never elect a security threat( haha, i know. ). . And the real reason is because they don’t want some national security bureaucrat eliminating someone from the ballot.


thisisfreakinstupid

They don't actually believe he's been charged with or is guilty of anything, which is why they're fine with the hypocrisy. When it hurts their own party, it's a which hunt, but when it hurts the other side, it's justice. There's no reasoning with them because they never reasoned themselves into this position to begin with.


255001434

And you can be sure that even if they believe that he was wrongfully convicted, they won't consider that the same thing likely happened to many other convicted felons and that maybe it isn't fair to exclude them from jobs and take away rights on that factor alone. They'll want to overlook it this one time only.


Jonaz17

People who believe the justice system is crooked and corrupt are the same people who are all for the death penalty


versace_drunk

Almost like the people voting for him are giant hypocrites…


East_Ad9822

It’s because they think Trump is an innocent angel sent by god.


Every_Preparation_56

 He's their golden calf


Strict-Childhood-629

Gives off antichrist vibes to me.


Bulky_Mix_2265

This is the most in point possible thing for a person with conservative political values. Their entire ethos is based on hypocrisy.


jcnastrom

I’m only commenting because of your Xana pfp and I don’t see that out in the wild very often


Lumpy_Staff_2372

Agreed. Also cool Code Lyoko pfp.


RedMephit

If they have served their time in prison, then they should have all of their rights immediately restored. Voting, 2nd amendment rights, etc. Maybe we would see a shift toward rehabilitation instead of punishment if that were the case.


No-Product-8827

It's not hypocritical to them though, the charges are made up by a political opponent, it's the swamp acting in its best interest.


santamonicayachtclub

*Did you know if you were caught when you were smoking crack / McDonald's wouldn't even wanna take you back / But you could always just run for mayor of D.C.* - Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, Good Charlotte, 2002. Time is a flat fucking circle.


KawaiSenpai

It’s crazy how I never actually realized the lyrics as a kid


bTOhno

Crazy to me that a lot of the music I listened to as a kid had pretty big social or political messages that I didn't catch until I was older. Honestly understanding the deeper meaning of music has made listening to my childhood jams that much more rewarding.


ataxia2

*A street kid gets arrested, gonna do some time / He got out three years from now just to commit more crime / A businessman is caught with 24 kilos / He’s out on bail and out of jail / And that’s the way it goes, raah!* - White Lines (Don't Don't Do It), Melle Mel, 1983


Striking_Zombie_8640

If you are a Felon in the USA, good luck finding a job, can't even rent an apartment. But, you can be a President of a Country. 🤣🤣🤣


Rocky4296

This is insanity. Convicted Sexual assaulter, 88 mill Hush money Bribery Conviction Fraud on property in NY, 464 mill. Convicted Being investigated for 100 mill in taxes for fraud on Chicago hotel. Stole classified docs showing them to people Hid documents. Obstruction refused to give em back Prob sold them Involved in Epstein crimes. Was Epstein buddy Shaking down oil billionaires... His people imprisoned. Shame On America Shame shame shame We cannot control Trump and jail him


westbee

Add his court cases where he got blowjobs from 12 and 13 year olds and raped one of them which pissed of epstein because he wanted to deflower her first. 


Rocky4296

And no news outlet will mention the Epstein rapes. We see him hanging with Epstein and whispering something to him. Trump knew Epstein very well. But nothing from media. Trump is dangerous. But he hangs out with people, and commit crimes. But.... Trump never gets locked up. Ghislaine, Epstein, Bannon,Cohen, Navarro, and many others go to prison. But not Trump .


slytherinwitchbitch

dont forget the hundreds of thousand or possibly a million deaths he could have prevented if he had taken the covid pandemic seriously. At one point was more than 4,000 daily deaths from covid. Also think of millions of Americans that have long covid. That fucker told us that injecting bleach would cure it.


Mammoth-Mud-9609

All around the world the one factor which differentiates criminals, from the rest of the population; is that on average criminals have a far lower standard of educational achievement, than the general members of society. So by politicians providing more funding and targeted funding for education they can reduce crime and criminal reoffending, boost the economy and make people safer. https://youtu.be/5IzcdWEnMRE


leeryplot

And yet they want to abolish the Department of Education


Mammoth-Mud-9609

Some people will do anything to get votes even if it wrecks the country in the process.


Solkre

Educated people don’t buy their bullshit.


SecretAgentVampire

It drives up crime, and slavery in the USA is completely legal as long as the slave is a felon. >The 13th Amendment to the United States Constitution provides that "Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, **except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted,** shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction." It's called "The Exception Clause", and deleting it from our constitution would rapidly change the USA for the better. The right have always been obsessed with gaining illegitimate power, whether through idiotic double think (like white supremacy) or plain ol'-fashioned oppression. Go read up about the white flight after Brown Vs. Board of Education passed and you'll understand why the right is so obsessed with private schools.


PancakeProfessor

But my uncle says collidge turns people into libruls.


oyasumi_juli

Calvin Collidge is my favorite president


Elitepikachu

But then they'll learn how the government works and vote blue and we can't have that.


Mammoth-Mud-9609

Learning to think for themselves so they want a say in how government runs rather than being accepting of being ruled over and told what to do.


oddministrator

Then they'll also know we should be allowed to elect felons for president. Fuck Trump. He hates democracy. I'll never vote Republican for the rest of my life. There's no such thing as a good Republican politician when they choose to put that R next to their name, knowing how bad the party is. **BUT** We should be allowed to elect felons. Assume there's an unjust law. A person is convicted of this law, becoming a felon. When they get out, they convince a lot of people that the law is unjust and, in order to change that law, this felon chooses to run for office. Citizens should be allowed to vote for felons, for the above reason. A hypothetical example could be someone who was convicted in Nevada in the 80s for growing pot, for personal use, in their back yard. That person then becomes an activist later in life and runs on a platform for legalization. Voters should be able to decide if the felonies a candidate is convicted of are enough to prohibit them from taking office.


XTH3W1Z4RDX

Yes but stupid people are easier to manipulate, AND in the U.S. slavery is legal as punishment for crimes (it's in the Constitution). Therefore those in power benefit from having a large population of uneducated criminals


Perfect_Bench_2815

You can become the President of the USA and get access to top secret documents and steal them again without repercussions!


Every_Preparation_56

150 million Russians like that


Fakenerd791

*as long as your rich and part of the social elite you can


needtotradesocks

Alright, felons, let's all run for president cajse its omly way of getting a house now🗣


Curious_Yesterday421

The only problem with that is the discrimination against felons. They served their time and earned back all their rights. They have literally no motivation to be better people because we take everything from them. Right to vote, right to bear arms, chance at a job, housing. We leave them with no reason at all to improve themselves. I'll blame someone for a first offense, but repeat offenders only continue criminal behavior because they're excluded from most of society. Rehabilitation doesn't exist in this country.


Xomns_13

There's a difference in felony between the powerful and the poor.


Due-Foundation-8853

Ya right ? And we’re talking about democracy here. I’d loose faith on USA citizens if they choose this much poorly 🥸


wiseroldman

There’s no faith left my friend.


N_0_N_A_M_E

Animal Farm: All animals are equals. Some are more equal.


[deleted]

If you're rich enough, you can fly privately, live on an estate so well stocked you never have to leave. essentially shrug off all elements of life as we know it. you could get all drugs, art, therapy...anything. where you live would have no police presence whatsoever, just private security and lawyers everywhere. it is truly a different society.


pornaddiction247

Seems fair to me


thewanderingfrog2

I guess I don’t want felons with sexual abuse crimes to be around vulnerable people. Or having felons with financial fraud to manage finances. But sure, let’s do it this way and see what happens


AUnknownVariable

Those are really specific though. Don't people with sexual abuse crimes go on the registry (actual question, idk if it's circumstantial or not). Then finances is also specific, would make sense as a question for a finance job


BloodAndSpit36

Those are specific categories, they can apply to specific jobs.


Civil_Pain_453

Having 34 convictions and still walking around a free man...and not standing in front of a wall means that being a criminal is now a plus


Btankersly66

For Pirates By Pirates


Flux_resistor

One response: just a quick rape of 13 year old, nothing worth mentioning


Apollo_the_G0D

Sexual assualt victims hate this one simple trick….


Rocky4296

I never believed Epstein committed suicide. Too perfect. Under Trump administration he is seized, imprisoned, and died. C'mon


MrMsWoMan

Let me get this straight felons can’t vote but they can run for office. Got it.


CheckeredZeebrah

This is a feature, not a bug. It prevents situations where somebody in power frames/jails political opponents in order to disqualify them, which had been done in the past by other politicians in other countries. Unfortunately it's a double edged sword, because it also allows for actual criminals to run for office. :')


nonbinary_finery

Well having a prior history shouldn't disqualify anyone anyways. That's not the issue. The issue is felons can't vote.


Dreams_From_Beyond

I'll say it again: All I have is a Minor in Possession and some 20 year old facebook posts that could be dug up mostly about my prior alcoholism. I want healthcare for all, women's right to their own bodies, kids to have paid for lunches in the schools system, and a competent police force that is held accountable for their actions. Edit: Guess I'll run next cycle since the bar is so low.


godikus

A minor in possession? Shit you can be in possession of a minor these days and it’s all good.


Mammoth-Register-669

Depending where you are, sure. Use your past to show that you have become a better person. Due to this, you believe that this beautiful country can change for the better


Dreams_From_Beyond

Texas, but I'm not Christian so I wouldn't win. I'd be lumped in the category of "people who don't deserve a voice." Our Green Party candidate wasn't even given the time to speak in public setting. Edit: Clarity


Erotic_Platypus

I wouldn't call minor in possession being a bad person


No_Maybe5293

This is no facepalm this is truth and facts


LookAtMeNow247

America is the facepalm


peppermintesse

The reverse is what *should* happen. If we don't allow felons to get certain types of jobs, felons should be disallowed from *running for president*.


[deleted]

America is broken if they want Trump to be their leader as a convicted felon. Actually, it already is broken, you can get a gun at 18, but not buy drink until 21


cat-daddy777

Felons can't vote but this felon is allowed to be president Make Prison Great Again! Obi-Wan 2024 He's our only hope


notRadar_

would unironically vote obi-wan


ElCocoLoco11

Unpopular opinion: it shouldn't be there to begin with. You served your time. You're supposed to be considered rehabilitated and your full rights should be restored. It's crazy even arrests without even being indicted or arraigned can still haunt you forever. The system needs a lot of work


DFMRCV

Your terms are acceptable.


TerryB604

How 'bout just adding can't be a felon to the Presidential job requirement list?


Winther89

I'm sure people who say this don't know why the law that felons can run for office exists, and if it didn't, would wish that it did.


Unlikely_can877

I’ll bite why does the law that felons can run for office exist?


Cicero912

A tactic of less-than democratic nations (or straight up authoritarian ones) leaders is to slap criminal charges against opposition leaders. Think with Navalny and Putin.


waltjrimmer

For a hypothetical, I'd vote for someone for office that was running on a platform of reforming our justice system if they were put in prison thirty years ago for a 20 year sentence because they had some weed or something like that, assuming that they otherwise appeared to be a good, solid candidate. For a real example, Nelson Mandela was a political felon in South Africa. They made political activism a criminal offense (some places are doing that here in the states, trying to make almost every form of protest illegal and even putting restrictions on workers' right to strike, for instance) in the country and arrested people who were trying to initiate change in the political system. If you did something similar here in the US and had a law on the books that anyone with a felony history couldn't run for office, it would be really easy to just arrest up-and-comers who haven't made it to any form of elected office yet but obviously have the ambition and cut them off before they really get started. There is probably some middle ground, but the truth is that you can never create a perfect system. There will always be ways it can be manipulated or broken. All these systems run on the assumption that more actions than not are taken in good faith, even if they have attempts to reduce the amount of good faith needed to function properly.


The_Stank__

Rules for thee, not for me.


Seargeoh

A felon, traitor, pedophile, rapist, adulterer


Doublestack2411

This, seems odd that a fast food joint has higher standards than being the President of the United States.


Cicero912

The standards for being President of the United States are set by the voters (well, outside of the time the establishment got terrified of what FDR did and put in undemocratic term limits)


realhmmmm

No, it doesn’t. The fact that a felon can become the president is solely a result of the fact that even our founding fathers didn’t think we’d be stupid enough to let one do so. Also, he lost me at “Bishop”.


Lithl

>The fact that a felon can become the president is solely a result of the fact that even our founding fathers didn’t think we’d be stupid enough to let one do so. If felons couldn't run for president, then any incumbent could prevent the opposition party from winning an election by jailing their nominee. Allowing felons to run for president is very intentional.


mcnhred

You can also drive drunk and kill your passenger by driving into the water and still be voted into the senate.


rydan

Most people on the left actually agree with this sentiment. Not sure where the facepalm is here.


Misswinterseren

True but the fact that he’s also a child rapist means he shouldn’t get any job anywhere he should be in prison


Glazing555

They can’t worry about “criminals” coming across the border either


InvictusPro7

This is not a facepalm. The fact America can elect someone like Trump is but this post is a good suggestion.


AltruisticHopes

Glad someone said it, was wondering what this was doing here, seems a valid discussion point.


Jude30

In 2016 I took a quiz on who should vote for. The ONLY answer I got answered in line with trump was “should the felony question be removed from job applications.” He knew what he was the whole time.