Please don't witch hunt in the comments. I've removed witch-hunty comments here. Admins ban subreddits for that. I don't want this subreddit banned.
I won't lock the comments, but another mod might.
Thanks and I hope you have a great day.
I found it, it was a comment reply, on another post. It did take longer than 30s to find.
https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/w9iyxx/comment/ihvfqly/
I divorced a selfish cheater - it was one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. Looking back, he did me a favor in giving me the push I needed to leave him.
I wish you as much happiness in leaving this loser as I found after leaving mine!
Same to me, I am glad things went the way they did because it got me the fuck outta there and with someone so much better. Made me realize even more how toxic the relationship was after meeting someone better
Feel like I’m in a similar position. I’m excited to see the blatant differences in A future relationship that will happen when it decides to happen. Until then it’s Me Myself & I and I’m super happy atm
Cheating has always and will always astound me. It's so unfathomably difficult to find love in this world. And then you go and fuck it up once you actually find someone that reciprocates feelings and with whom you're compatible.
People are so foolish. We all make mistakes, but blatant cheating is just bonkers.
Right? I can’t even imagine hurting my wife in such a way, and frankly I don’t think cheating is a mistake.
You make a decision to cheat. It is a choice and an active one. Hell, it’s a series of choices.
Agreed. Cheating is not a mistake. It is poor judgment. There is a difference.
A mistake is putting on two different white socks because you thought they were the same in the morning, only to find out they are different styles later. It’s a momentary thing.
Poor judgment is not using better decision-making, ignoring signs, ignoring consequences, risking needless harm, choosing a series of actions that will lead to harm. Cheating is in this category.
People wish it was a “mistake” so they can ask for forgiveness “everyone makes mistakes” but the fact is, it’s not a mistake.
This is truth. People see the warning signs with every little micro decision they make that ultimately leads to cheating. You don’t just trip and fall into a vagina and suddenly profess your feelings. No, it’s a deliberate decision follows by another and another DELIBERATE decision. It’s a chicken shit way to throw a grenade into your existing relationship rather than maturely confronting your partner and dealing with that first. It is purely narcissistic.
If you’re unhappy enough in a relationship to be looking, then you’re unhappy enough to leave the relationship. Breaking up sucks, but it’s a hell of a lot better than cheating on someone else. It’s super selfish to wait until you have something lined up because breaking it off too.
Yeah, one of the most important things I need in a friend or partner is loyalty. I won’t open up to you and we’ll have just a surface level relationship if I don’t think you’re loyal. One of my best friends is a piece of shit, but he’s loyal so he’s still one of my best friends. He’s become a somewhat better person as he’s aged, which is good.
Right? So there’s this story of a guy who sends his family down to Brazil, think East Indian company times, whole family but wife dies in a crazy accident but he keeps searching for her and finally finds her in a village ten years later. That’s love to me. Never give up stuff.
Same. He now swears he didn’t cheat when he was constantly at this woman’s house for hours at a time. While I was with our child.
Thankfully, he did me the favor I was too scared to do. Now I have an amazing spouse who is a great parent and life is better than ever. Unfortunately I think a lot of people assume I did the cheating, since I’m bisexual and he is straight. But that’s between them and God. I know I was faithful and I know my life is beautiful now
My ex also swore he didn't cheat...while living with her on weekdays... I was living a couple hours away taking care of my grandmother at the time, and he came home on weekends.
Hang in there and stay grounded. Focus on yourself for a while, meditate and get plenty of fresh air and exercise. The things other people say and do are not your responsibility and have no reflection on you at all. Let your husband suffer the consequences of his actions, but don't let his actions cause you suffering. Be your best self and if you have children, make sure they are the priority.
You are SO not wrong!!! This was the ultimate betrayal from both parties, i am mildly sick myself over it just knowing you’re currently in a tailspin about all of it. I just wish for fast passage of time for you, this is a doozy, and i find time is the best healer for these kinds of blows 😩🧡🍀
Holy moley this is such an awful way to find out you were cheated on. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Sending good vibes your way hoping you one day you can find a silver lining in the clouds of this shitstorm.
Geez he is so lame. I’m so sorry for all that you’re going through OP. I hope that you have a good person to hug you, but in lieu of that, my heart is with you. Whatever you do — admitting yourself or not — you’ll be on my mind. Be strong but it’s also ok to grieve. It’s a long road ahead, but you’re gonna make it.
Chicken Nugget unfortunately ran away a few months ago… we have another cat Mara and the malamute Luke. He will most likely keep them as I am essentially homeless.
Unless you leave voluntarily he would have to have you evicted. And if you both own the property he can’t do anything to make you leave except maybe make you miserable. My ex and I shared and apartment for a year after we decided to divorce, we just camped in our halves of the house passing each other in the hall. It wasn’t fun but it was necessary.
IANAL: Unless you have NO equity into the home whatsoever, infidelity tends to default towards the side of the victim. Keep your chin up through this horrible time, gather everything you can for evidence, and speak to a lawyer. Sleep in a seperate room from here out so they cannot claim you have forgiven him and get mitigation if not the separation thrown out entirely. You have the weight of evidence and his idiotic actions, don't let yourself be victimized any further by this.
This is good advice. This happened to me and I left with nothing because I just wanted to get away from seeing him but I should have never left the house. Even if he leaves if his income has been paying the bills he will be compelled legally to continue maintaining your standard of living until the divorce. You'll have to get an injunction so that he cannot drain the accounts or sell anything.
Just so you know, you can’t trust anything he’s saying right now. He’s probably in damage control mode and is likely trying to keep you from releasing his and his mistress’s information or something. So whether he’s proclaiming love and remorse or claiming he will ruin your life if you do anything, he simply can’t be trusted.
girl, keep the home and the pets. why should you lose them? you're not the one who broke your vows. stand your ground, call your best friends and family for support, and if you don't have them, use some people from here because there are so many who have gone through what you're going through and came out the other side with a much better life! Don't run away from what's YOURS because of his fuck up. Do what you would advise a best friend or sister to do in the same situation. Don't let him give you any more shit than he already has!
"Haven't felt so connected to someone in my entire life"
Ouch. I know how bad it hurts to read your partner saying stuff like that about someone else. Felt like the ground bellow me collapsed and I landed in hell itself.
Thank you, I promise I’m not doing it for the karma. Just need some help processing as I lost my best friend/ husband AND my friend who he cheated on me with.
Honestly, that sub can get pretty toxic. I would browse for advice on how to proceed, but not get deeply involved in it for any period of time. A lot of the users there just want to wallow, and want everyone else to stay miserable with them.
DO NOT GO TO THAT SUB unless you want to end up as the worst version of yourself.
The supportive people leave and the bitter undeveloped people stay. Nobody should be around those people.
If you have kids, please don't go nuclear. Protect yourself, get lawyers, do what you need to do, but remember to be the adult no matter how much of a shithead your husband is. Focus on what will get you the life you want for you and your kids, not what feels good in the moment.
One of my male friends would come over and sleep on the couch, while my husband was working out of state. He slept with the dog - the only cheating going on was my dog leaving me for him.
He's a friend, that's it. My husband never questioned me once.
I hope they have a short mistrustful relationship that tanks and burns. He will likely try to come back when it predictably fails - do not entertain it for a second.
I mean, you should always trust your partner to be alone with the opposite sex, you aren’t in the wrong for trusting either, they just both betrayed your trust. I’m sorry friend, but if he would do that, it’s best he’s outta your life.
Well boys and girls. I’ll be headed to the psych ward now. My doctor is concerned for me. For those of you that want “proof” maybe I’ll post pictures of my patient wristband when I get out or the divorce papers will be enough. The hateful and funny comments hurt worse than the helpful ones help. I’m so done with the internet and people in general.
I’m really scared right now, I’m waiting to go to the hospital so this will be my last post. To those who wondered why I would post it online… I truly don’t have friends, except I had his friend, including her. And my best friend, him.
To make things worse I consoled her when her daughter was going inpatient and helped her get her there.
To those to say I deserved it for being mentally ill and disabled and poor him for that being so hard to deal with… he could have just left. Yeah it would hurt but not like this.
I’m done. There is your update. Believe it or not.
I hope you're okay. It hurts to have someone you love stomp on your heart like this. I've been there. Even worse to have him declare it as a proud moment on the internet. I was cheated on and he and his sister joked about it right in front of me.
It fucking hurts, but you'll get some semblance of normalcy. No time soon. But the pain will very slowly fade. The day it starts to fade may be weeks or months from now but it *will* happen.
Good luck, and please know there are people who want nothing but the best for you. ❤
I will say that you’ve now got a lot of people on here who are emotionally invested in you and we hope you take care of yourself. Really sorry you’re going through this
I just wanted to say that I had a psychotic break a couple of years ago for similar but different reasons. It was a very scary and surreal experience for me that I will not share on here. But if you need someone to talk to who has been there done that and genuinely needs a friend please reach out. I have never had any girlfriends so we can relate on a couple different situations. For the psych ward: go in, get the help you need and make sure they don’t over medicate or miss any of the medications you’re already on. Bring some notebooks and puzzles and some let you bring your own shampoo. The one I was at I had to have it delivered by someone else, though :( I wouldn’t tell them anything if you wanna get out after the 72 hour hold however that’s what I did and I was hospitalized a second time. Psych wards are sometimes not the best way to get help for long term, but will prevent you from the current damage you may do to yourself. Go in there and clear your head and create a plan. It’s definitely necessary. Good luck!!! I’m counting on you to make it out on the other end of this girl. I’ll be waiting till I hear back! You have friends!!!! Also to edit: I don’t want to be one of those people that tells you everything is fine. It’s not fine. It’s gonna fucking suck rn. But I was in your shoes and I can say that it got better. It will get better ❤️🩹 I promise. And if it doesn’t u can hold me to it.
From one human to another, internet hugs to you. You'll get through this and we'll all be here standing beside you the whole way. I can't even begin to imagine the pain you feel but I can absolutely understand. You did nothing wrong. Please don't forget that.
You don’t have to explain yourself to the trolls. Please ignore them and talk to us, the people that empathize with you and want to support you. It’s okay to do what feels right to you, and you are really smart for going to the hospital to get help. So many people would never figure that out so fast. You’re doing the right thing. Those of us who empathize with you and support you will still be here if and when you return.
You don’t deserve what you’re going through, and you didn’t do anything to feel guilty about. You have a lot of good qualities I am sure. Without knowing you I can tell you’re articulate, self aware, and thoughtful. He doesn’t have those qualities. I know he may have had them at one time but he lost himself. He’s no longer a good person, if he ever even was. Not just because he cheated, but also because of how he reacted as well. Everyone makes mistakes but not everyone digs their heels in or brags about it like that.
That weird chick he cheated with isn’t the love of his life because he isn’t currently capable of understanding what love is. There’s a lot of reasons for that. But none are your fault.
If there’s something you need, tell us. There are people here who do want to help you and who believe in you.
There's nothing wrong using the internet as a vent. There are many trolling incels who never left mommys basement but there's also a lot of wholesome comments here that support you. Try to focus on them. Hang in there! You'll get trough this! :)
It's not your fault, will never be your fault and he's proving that by saying it is. He made a choice, multiple choice even which led to this. It was never you and I hope that if you have any doubt on that, someday you'll see it eventually.
They both deserve a nice spot in hell. As for the trolls it was bound to happen and I'm so sorry people can't see that being a smartass or a troll can sometimes hurt so much. You're strong for taking care of your mental health and getting the help you need. Don't give up just yet. If you ever need to talk, the stranger I am is here
I know I’m a random person, but can I tell you something? You’re going to be ok. It’s going to suck. Life is going to have some weird ups and downs but I promise you that you’ll be ok. Keep your head up, good luck.
Wow, i can't believe this happened to you. How are you handling it? I would completely devastated if i knew my husband was cheating on me and felt a "special connection" with someone other than me.
What hate is he getting? They’ll always blame you - for their unsatisfcation with their life and the pain that comes to them after the stability of you leaves. Let him be in pain, I wish you the best!!
His username is very, very easy to find
I think someone dug up his email too, as of right now they've got a lot and he's being harassed even though his reddit was deleted
Fuck'm his dumbass brought it upon himself
He posted it in a thread about “the coolest thing you’ve done recently”, love. Don’t blame yourself for any of it. He did it himself, he thought it was cool, and the only thing he regrets now is getting caught in the act.
Lol the only person he has to blame is himself. He’s mad about being called out for being a piece of shit? Maybe he shouldn’t be a piece of shit. That’s on him, not you. The best thing you can do is get what’s yours and get out.
I sent a message to his family just saying good bye and that I would miss them. I did mention his infidelity but not in a mean way just FYI. His sister posted in a group chat she thought I was not in pretty much saying I was crazy and “if he was ok” or “needed anything”
Get as much evidence you can if you live in a [fault state or a state that allows kind of "fault" reasons for divorce](https://southdenverlaw.com/case/divorce-no-fault-states/)
> Fault States: Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, Connecticut, Delaware, Georgia, Maryland, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, South Carolina, Vermont, Virginia, and DC.
> No Fault States: Wisconsin, Oregon, Washington, Nevada, Nebraska, Montana, Missouri, Minnesota, Michigan, Kentucky, Kansas, Iowa, Indiana, Hawaii, Florida, Colorado, and California
The rest have concessions that can help in custody and other divorce disputes so still get evidence ( texts message him from now on or [record calls if you live in a single party consent state](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Telephone_call_recording_laws) )
> Thirty-three U.S. states offer persons undergoing a divorce the option of no-fault divorce, but these states can also be considered “fault states” as persons can choose to file for divorce in the traditional way of casting blame. Fault typically includes grounds for divorce including **adultery** , abandonment, inability to engage in sexual intercourse, being in jail, or cruelty.
Fuck ‘em, let them talk their shit, ultimately the family is gonna end up arguing over this and it will always boil down to your ex-husband looking like a fuckin toolbag. Just make sure that at least one of them has the screenshot of his Reddit comment so there is irrefutable proof, and they’ll probably argue about this for years.
I sent a message to his family just saying good bye and that I would miss them. I did mention his infidelity but not in a mean way just FYI. His sister posted in a group chat she thought I was not in pretty much saying I was crazy and “if he was ok” or “needed anything”
Did you reply with a mic drop? You seem to be coming out swinging and good on you! But sorry for the shit you have to deal with seems like a real pos blaming you as if he only just started to have those feelings and couldn’t tell you before planning a weekend away
Just imagine keeping quiet in that chat while everybody unloads just in case nobody remember she's actually in that group. Then after everybody has shown their true colors just leave the group, giving everybody the notification. Douche chill.
I’m so sorry - specifically for if your husband ever gaslit you during the times leading up to this when you were feeling suspicious. In case you need to hear it today: you were never “paranoid,” you are not untrusting, you are rational, and you deserve your dignity and respect. Time to end things, and thank god this POS won’t be wasting any more of your precious life energy.
Daaamn wtf was he thinking? Congratulations for losing about 180-200 pounds of useless weight on your shoulders!
Edit-these nice guys are really butt hurt over this comment that was meant to be light hearted for op. Reading these comments and laughing my ass off. Keep it coming r/niceguys
It’s the fact that he gloated on Reddit about it. So self-centred that he decided to find out if the best friend was interested before leaving his wife. Just in case she wasn’t he had a backup plan to “keep” the wife.
It’s alarming that someone with no empathy and care is a friggin nurse of all things.
OP you deserve so much better than this POS.
You’re not dumb. You put trust into your husband, not knowing he would take that trust and stomp all over it. You’re so far from dumb OP… you’re human.
He’s dumb. He cheated, then was dumb enough to make a post about it on Reddit on an account that you were able to find, *that’s* dumb. I know it won’t help in this current moment (I’m sure you’re still going through the motions), but just know in the future, you’ll find someone way better who is loyal and respects you, and someday you’ll look back at all this and realize he did you a favour. He revealed who he really is, and he can’t turn back now.
100% this. Relationships, especially marriages, should be based on trust. You should not have to worry or try to avoid your SO being away or out with other people. The only version of a healthy relationship is one where those situations have no risk what so ever.
If they cheat, you're not an idiot for trusting them. If you feel the need to restrict their movement and "protect yourself" from situations that might "make" your SO cheat, you're either in the wrong relationship or you need to work on your trust issues before they damage a good thing.
It's not your responsibility to keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn't cheat. That's no way to live. It's his responsibility to not cheat. You did absolutely nothing wrong.
i went through an entire rollercoaster of emotions in the past 15 seconds from “oh man good for you dude!” to “that’s the perfect reply lmao” to “wait why is this on r/facepalm with 60k+ upvotes?” to “OH SHIT”
Probably doesn't mean much coming from a random on the internet, but please be honest with the staff about everything and anything, they'll make sure you're ok and that you'll get through this if you be honest. I know because I had to go into inpatient psych. The part of going in is the hardest part, from there they'll make sure you're ok and have the resources you need. And don't ever blame yourself for this, you did nothing wrong. Just please be safe
Hey Taylor my mom went in patient psych after her second husband left her (they had a 10 year essentially love less relationship, a lot of cheating) and before she met my dad. She went thru in patient a few more times but it’s like ~30 years later and I thankfully still have her with me.
I’m sending the best vibes ever to you. ❤️
Edit: she met my dad maybe a year or two after the ex left her. They had an amazing love story and my dad was great to her thru all her mental health struggles and she was great to him thru his battles with cancer. She didn’t want kids but my dad did. They accidentally got pregnant with me (around 40 yo) and decided to keep me - thank God. I think it all worked out for the best in the end. I lost my daddy but I still have my mom. She’s my hero
I've done inpatient psych twice, and the first time was right after a brutal end to a relationship not dissimilar to yours (they're now married, yay! 😥). I've been there before so I know there isn't a goddamn thing I can say to make you feel better right now, so I won't even try, but I hope you can find your reasons to keep going and that you can eventually have the last laugh. Also, since you seem to still legally be married, make sure you do what you need to before checking in to make sure he has no control over your healthcare decisions while you're in the hospital.
Listen, this is not the happily ever after for them that you’re seeing in your nightmares. People who cheat never do it to one person. When he gets bored with her (and he will) or when parts of her personality are revealed that he doesn’t like (and they will), he will get roaming eyes again. “Everything you do comes back to you” is something a wise person once told me, and the older I get the more I realize how true it is. It may not happen in the timeframe you want, but they will get theirs one way or another. The best revenge is getting through this and living well. You will be ok.
Not to even mention the fact that giant sweeping generalizations like “love of my life” made WHILE ON MUSHROOMS may be a little…suspect, to say the least. Like, folks on mushrooms feel amazing connections to the carpet and the ceiling fan.
I think the divorce hearings will be pretty quick with this particular piece of evidence.
P.S. sorry for the unfortunate way you found out about this, I wish you nothing but happiness after the dust settles.
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I’ve been there and know how hard it can be. As difficult as it’s going to be you need to move on. It won’t seem like it’s possible at first but someday you’ll look back and know that you made the right choice by leaving. He obviously is looking for something else that the two of you don’t have. Don’t blame yourself, it takes two people for these things to happen. Stay strong and someday you’ll find happiness way beyond what you’ve known in your life so far. I promise.
I have a rule now after going through a cheating relationship. If it happened once, it'll happen again, move on, find someone who cares and wants you for you, not a mushroom binged retreat. I've done shrooms, you can feel connected to an ant, which seems to be this dudes emotional level.
E: next time lace this dudes shrroms with ayahuasca.
> a little power getting into a reddit mods head
Reddit really needs to change its permabanning policy as it's become far too abused by the mods. Maybe only allow admins to permaban or require a random 2nd mod to agree with the ban. Also reddit need to start paying for professional mods for the top 25 subs as the current unpaid system only attracts the worst losers who can't or won't get a job and who can stay at home all day abusing what little power they have over people as a mod.
https://www.reddit.com/r/modsbeingdicks/
Do. Not. Forgive. Him.
Looks like you guys have no kids and you’re still young. I know you’re goin’ through it, but you are gonna be SO much better off without this man-baby in your life (man-baby said with confidence after a look into his Reddit history).
And do not blame this on yourself. Plenty of us struggle with our mental and physical health—we still deserve good, loyal and caring partners. Problems arise in any relationship and sometimes people grow apart, but anyone who does something like this is absolutely, most definitely, 100% NOT worth building more of a life with.
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
I was like wow not cool OP did not blur the wife's username, but then I saw OP's username.... oh my oh my... I feel so sorry for you to learn it that way
Comment from the wife:
That it’s my fault for letting myself go this past year I haven’t been working (which he told me would be ok). BTW I’m disabled and still trying to mentally recover from an un aliving (sp?) attempt a year and a couple months ago that left me in the ICU.
Please don't witch hunt in the comments. I've removed witch-hunty comments here. Admins ban subreddits for that. I don't want this subreddit banned. I won't lock the comments, but another mod might. Thanks and I hope you have a great day.
This is gonna end up on buzzfeed
With an article that pretty much sounds like an AI wrote it after explaining it the plot. Screenshot a few reddit replies to spice it up
Probably with a minecraft or GTA parkour video in the background
text to speech tiktok accounts will repost it with subway surfers gameplay
And then those tiktok accounts will be screen recorded and put on your Reddit videos page, or on r/tiktokcringe
Quick, drop a top-level comment with a clever quip and you might be cited in the "article!"
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I'm sorry to hear that happened to you.
I thought this was a joke until I saw your username jfc I'm so sorry.
Same! I was like “Oopsie, LOL” and then… “what the what?!”
I never would have noticed! That sucks all the shit, Op. my condolences
Condolence 5. Up top 🤚
You always know just what to say, Todd.
I was thinking why OP hid the man's id but not hers but your reply made it make sense.
Did you....find out through reddit, or did you just check reddit later?
Later. See other post.
What other post? Help me out here, I'm invested in this now
I found it, it was a comment reply, on another post. It did take longer than 30s to find. https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/w9iyxx/comment/ihvfqly/
From someone 8 minutes in the future, you saved me 30seconds. I spent them writing this thank you.
Woa. Your 8 minutes in the future? How far am i?
30 minutes. Geeze, can you find someone who can relay the lottery numbers to me?
I divorced a selfish cheater - it was one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. Looking back, he did me a favor in giving me the push I needed to leave him. I wish you as much happiness in leaving this loser as I found after leaving mine!
Same to me, I am glad things went the way they did because it got me the fuck outta there and with someone so much better. Made me realize even more how toxic the relationship was after meeting someone better
Feel like I’m in a similar position. I’m excited to see the blatant differences in A future relationship that will happen when it decides to happen. Until then it’s Me Myself & I and I’m super happy atm
Why do people decide to get married but never want to be committed? Just to try it?
They want the security and benefits of having a partner but aren’t actually capable of caring about the partner. To sum up in one word - narcissists
Exactly! If this story is true. Dude is a narcissist. And he was bragging about it on reddit lol
Cheating has always and will always astound me. It's so unfathomably difficult to find love in this world. And then you go and fuck it up once you actually find someone that reciprocates feelings and with whom you're compatible. People are so foolish. We all make mistakes, but blatant cheating is just bonkers.
Right? I can’t even imagine hurting my wife in such a way, and frankly I don’t think cheating is a mistake. You make a decision to cheat. It is a choice and an active one. Hell, it’s a series of choices.
Agreed. Cheating is not a mistake. It is poor judgment. There is a difference. A mistake is putting on two different white socks because you thought they were the same in the morning, only to find out they are different styles later. It’s a momentary thing. Poor judgment is not using better decision-making, ignoring signs, ignoring consequences, risking needless harm, choosing a series of actions that will lead to harm. Cheating is in this category. People wish it was a “mistake” so they can ask for forgiveness “everyone makes mistakes” but the fact is, it’s not a mistake.
This is truth. People see the warning signs with every little micro decision they make that ultimately leads to cheating. You don’t just trip and fall into a vagina and suddenly profess your feelings. No, it’s a deliberate decision follows by another and another DELIBERATE decision. It’s a chicken shit way to throw a grenade into your existing relationship rather than maturely confronting your partner and dealing with that first. It is purely narcissistic.
If you’re unhappy enough in a relationship to be looking, then you’re unhappy enough to leave the relationship. Breaking up sucks, but it’s a hell of a lot better than cheating on someone else. It’s super selfish to wait until you have something lined up because breaking it off too.
Yeah, one of the most important things I need in a friend or partner is loyalty. I won’t open up to you and we’ll have just a surface level relationship if I don’t think you’re loyal. One of my best friends is a piece of shit, but he’s loyal so he’s still one of my best friends. He’s become a somewhat better person as he’s aged, which is good.
Right? So there’s this story of a guy who sends his family down to Brazil, think East Indian company times, whole family but wife dies in a crazy accident but he keeps searching for her and finally finds her in a village ten years later. That’s love to me. Never give up stuff.
Same. He now swears he didn’t cheat when he was constantly at this woman’s house for hours at a time. While I was with our child. Thankfully, he did me the favor I was too scared to do. Now I have an amazing spouse who is a great parent and life is better than ever. Unfortunately I think a lot of people assume I did the cheating, since I’m bisexual and he is straight. But that’s between them and God. I know I was faithful and I know my life is beautiful now
My ex also swore he didn't cheat...while living with her on weekdays... I was living a couple hours away taking care of my grandmother at the time, and he came home on weekends.
Your username is my reaction to the post
This goes beyond facepalm. Yikes. Sorry
Imagine outing yourself and only two other people upvote it.
Hardly anyone saw it, but they see it now!
Also one is from your wife for making it a little easier to leave your dumb ass
I know it doesn't help but im sorry.
It does help. I’m doing everything I can to hold myself together and knowing I’m not wrong helps.
Look at the plus side of all this, you get an opportunity to leave a cheating loser! Yay! Congratulations!
on the plus side, so much Karma\* \*for legal reasons this is a joke.
She should store all of her Karma in a hidden account so that he doesn't get it in the divorce.
Dividing Reddit Karma is this decade’s Beanie Baby divorce
This comment is hilarious
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He’s probably already done that with his feelings. I’m willing to bet OP suspected there were feelings between the 2 for a while.
*Kazoo sounds\**
Hang in there and stay grounded. Focus on yourself for a while, meditate and get plenty of fresh air and exercise. The things other people say and do are not your responsibility and have no reflection on you at all. Let your husband suffer the consequences of his actions, but don't let his actions cause you suffering. Be your best self and if you have children, make sure they are the priority.
You are SO not wrong!!! This was the ultimate betrayal from both parties, i am mildly sick myself over it just knowing you’re currently in a tailspin about all of it. I just wish for fast passage of time for you, this is a doozy, and i find time is the best healer for these kinds of blows 😩🧡🍀
For a second i thought you were the husband XD
I was happy for him and then shit took a sharp left!
Maybe he’s still on shrooms and all of this, including us, is some kind of delusional experience he’s having out of guilt.
He believes himself to be his own wife, nice plot twist, his best friend is also his wife, but with a separate personality…
I’m Brian and so’s my wife!
His right hand is his wife. Left hand is his shroom buddy.
His middle hand is his tent pole.
And his wife's account is his other one he uses to make up cool stories
Wait im just a mushroom hallucination of some random cheating dude? Fuck
You better get what you want to do done because he's gonna sober up any minute n
Did you just disappear?! You didn’t finish the sentence and now I’m starting to worry I might be ne
I dont feel so good Whats hap
Mr Stark?
...oh sh
I like that my entire life and all of my personal and profound experiences have led to this.
Yeah, this is fine
He made both of those accounts while high
TRIPLE CAUTION
Then got run over by a fucking lawn mower 
Are you ok OP?
I’m really not
Holy moley this is such an awful way to find out you were cheated on. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Sending good vibes your way hoping you one day you can find a silver lining in the clouds of this shitstorm.
Get well OP, take care of yourself.
Geez he is so lame. I’m so sorry for all that you’re going through OP. I hope that you have a good person to hug you, but in lieu of that, my heart is with you. Whatever you do — admitting yourself or not — you’ll be on my mind. Be strong but it’s also ok to grieve. It’s a long road ahead, but you’re gonna make it.
100% fuck this guy. Hang in there, OP.
No, don't fuck him, leave him. Fucking would send the wrong impression.
Of course. Fuck his dad instead
This is why my SO and I always say, "fuck that guy, but don't fuck that guy."
What a smug prick asshole.
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So what happens with Chicken Nugget and the Malamute? :(
Chicken Nugget unfortunately ran away a few months ago… we have another cat Mara and the malamute Luke. He will most likely keep them as I am essentially homeless.
Unless you leave voluntarily he would have to have you evicted. And if you both own the property he can’t do anything to make you leave except maybe make you miserable. My ex and I shared and apartment for a year after we decided to divorce, we just camped in our halves of the house passing each other in the hall. It wasn’t fun but it was necessary.
IANAL: Unless you have NO equity into the home whatsoever, infidelity tends to default towards the side of the victim. Keep your chin up through this horrible time, gather everything you can for evidence, and speak to a lawyer. Sleep in a seperate room from here out so they cannot claim you have forgiven him and get mitigation if not the separation thrown out entirely. You have the weight of evidence and his idiotic actions, don't let yourself be victimized any further by this.
This is good advice. This happened to me and I left with nothing because I just wanted to get away from seeing him but I should have never left the house. Even if he leaves if his income has been paying the bills he will be compelled legally to continue maintaining your standard of living until the divorce. You'll have to get an injunction so that he cannot drain the accounts or sell anything.
Just so you know, you can’t trust anything he’s saying right now. He’s probably in damage control mode and is likely trying to keep you from releasing his and his mistress’s information or something. So whether he’s proclaiming love and remorse or claiming he will ruin your life if you do anything, he simply can’t be trusted.
girl, keep the home and the pets. why should you lose them? you're not the one who broke your vows. stand your ground, call your best friends and family for support, and if you don't have them, use some people from here because there are so many who have gone through what you're going through and came out the other side with a much better life! Don't run away from what's YOURS because of his fuck up. Do what you would advise a best friend or sister to do in the same situation. Don't let him give you any more shit than he already has!
No girl, gather up all the proof you found. It will help you in the end.
you’re married, ur entitled to half. if u have a home don’t leave it let him leave
"Haven't felt so connected to someone in my entire life" Ouch. I know how bad it hurts to read your partner saying stuff like that about someone else. Felt like the ground bellow me collapsed and I landed in hell itself.
Damn! That was a rollercoaster ride of emotions for a 🤦♂️ hope you're doing ok tho OP. That really sux.
Thank you, I promise I’m not doing it for the karma. Just need some help processing as I lost my best friend/ husband AND my friend who he cheated on me with.
And he did it with your friend? Fuck that guy.
Post in /r/survivinginfidelity. It's a really supportive community who knows how to go nuclear on a wayward spouse.
Honestly, that sub can get pretty toxic. I would browse for advice on how to proceed, but not get deeply involved in it for any period of time. A lot of the users there just want to wallow, and want everyone else to stay miserable with them.
DO NOT GO TO THAT SUB unless you want to end up as the worst version of yourself. The supportive people leave and the bitter undeveloped people stay. Nobody should be around those people.
>It’s a really supportive community Great! >who knows how to go nuclear on a wayward spouse Uh… that’s not the way to work through it
lol, had us in the first half
Fuck it! Staying for the second half, too!
If you have kids, please don't go nuclear. Protect yourself, get lawyers, do what you need to do, but remember to be the adult no matter how much of a shithead your husband is. Focus on what will get you the life you want for you and your kids, not what feels good in the moment.
OP, would you reveal to us what he said he was doing over that camping trip? I know the trauma is fresh, but this is the internet
I knew they were going. Did not know it was a one bedroom cabin and I trusted her. That’s the stupidest thing to say but it’s true.
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One of my male friends would come over and sleep on the couch, while my husband was working out of state. He slept with the dog - the only cheating going on was my dog leaving me for him. He's a friend, that's it. My husband never questioned me once. I hope they have a short mistrustful relationship that tanks and burns. He will likely try to come back when it predictably fails - do not entertain it for a second.
Silly you, you're supposed to not exist, because some weird assholes think bi people don't exist and are just "fence sitting".
Trust in a relationship isn’t stupid, it’s the foundation of any one that works. You did not do anything wrong.
I mean, you should always trust your partner to be alone with the opposite sex, you aren’t in the wrong for trusting either, they just both betrayed your trust. I’m sorry friend, but if he would do that, it’s best he’s outta your life.
Well boys and girls. I’ll be headed to the psych ward now. My doctor is concerned for me. For those of you that want “proof” maybe I’ll post pictures of my patient wristband when I get out or the divorce papers will be enough. The hateful and funny comments hurt worse than the helpful ones help. I’m so done with the internet and people in general.
I’m really scared right now, I’m waiting to go to the hospital so this will be my last post. To those who wondered why I would post it online… I truly don’t have friends, except I had his friend, including her. And my best friend, him. To make things worse I consoled her when her daughter was going inpatient and helped her get her there. To those to say I deserved it for being mentally ill and disabled and poor him for that being so hard to deal with… he could have just left. Yeah it would hurt but not like this. I’m done. There is your update. Believe it or not.
I hope you're okay. It hurts to have someone you love stomp on your heart like this. I've been there. Even worse to have him declare it as a proud moment on the internet. I was cheated on and he and his sister joked about it right in front of me. It fucking hurts, but you'll get some semblance of normalcy. No time soon. But the pain will very slowly fade. The day it starts to fade may be weeks or months from now but it *will* happen. Good luck, and please know there are people who want nothing but the best for you. ❤
I will say that you’ve now got a lot of people on here who are emotionally invested in you and we hope you take care of yourself. Really sorry you’re going through this
I just wanted to say that I had a psychotic break a couple of years ago for similar but different reasons. It was a very scary and surreal experience for me that I will not share on here. But if you need someone to talk to who has been there done that and genuinely needs a friend please reach out. I have never had any girlfriends so we can relate on a couple different situations. For the psych ward: go in, get the help you need and make sure they don’t over medicate or miss any of the medications you’re already on. Bring some notebooks and puzzles and some let you bring your own shampoo. The one I was at I had to have it delivered by someone else, though :( I wouldn’t tell them anything if you wanna get out after the 72 hour hold however that’s what I did and I was hospitalized a second time. Psych wards are sometimes not the best way to get help for long term, but will prevent you from the current damage you may do to yourself. Go in there and clear your head and create a plan. It’s definitely necessary. Good luck!!! I’m counting on you to make it out on the other end of this girl. I’ll be waiting till I hear back! You have friends!!!! Also to edit: I don’t want to be one of those people that tells you everything is fine. It’s not fine. It’s gonna fucking suck rn. But I was in your shoes and I can say that it got better. It will get better ❤️🩹 I promise. And if it doesn’t u can hold me to it.
From one human to another, internet hugs to you. You'll get through this and we'll all be here standing beside you the whole way. I can't even begin to imagine the pain you feel but I can absolutely understand. You did nothing wrong. Please don't forget that.
Focus on you. It sucks now but things will be better. Also, he’s a dick. You got this! <3
You don’t have to explain yourself to the trolls. Please ignore them and talk to us, the people that empathize with you and want to support you. It’s okay to do what feels right to you, and you are really smart for going to the hospital to get help. So many people would never figure that out so fast. You’re doing the right thing. Those of us who empathize with you and support you will still be here if and when you return. You don’t deserve what you’re going through, and you didn’t do anything to feel guilty about. You have a lot of good qualities I am sure. Without knowing you I can tell you’re articulate, self aware, and thoughtful. He doesn’t have those qualities. I know he may have had them at one time but he lost himself. He’s no longer a good person, if he ever even was. Not just because he cheated, but also because of how he reacted as well. Everyone makes mistakes but not everyone digs their heels in or brags about it like that. That weird chick he cheated with isn’t the love of his life because he isn’t currently capable of understanding what love is. There’s a lot of reasons for that. But none are your fault. If there’s something you need, tell us. There are people here who do want to help you and who believe in you.
I hope you get the help you deserve
There's nothing wrong using the internet as a vent. There are many trolling incels who never left mommys basement but there's also a lot of wholesome comments here that support you. Try to focus on them. Hang in there! You'll get trough this! :)
It's not your fault, will never be your fault and he's proving that by saying it is. He made a choice, multiple choice even which led to this. It was never you and I hope that if you have any doubt on that, someday you'll see it eventually. They both deserve a nice spot in hell. As for the trolls it was bound to happen and I'm so sorry people can't see that being a smartass or a troll can sometimes hurt so much. You're strong for taking care of your mental health and getting the help you need. Don't give up just yet. If you ever need to talk, the stranger I am is here
Report the assholes abusing you. Fuck them. I hope you'll be ok. And you have a large, bearded Aussie friend.
Each critical comment is unmerited. No one deserves to find out something so painful, in so cruelly of a way. Wishing you truly the best of luck.
You will get through this <3
I know I’m a random person, but can I tell you something? You’re going to be ok. It’s going to suck. Life is going to have some weird ups and downs but I promise you that you’ll be ok. Keep your head up, good luck.
Wow, i can't believe this happened to you. How are you handling it? I would completely devastated if i knew my husband was cheating on me and felt a "special connection" with someone other than me.
Cuts like a searing knife to the chest and he is blaming me for all the hate he is getting.
What hate is he getting? They’ll always blame you - for their unsatisfcation with their life and the pain that comes to them after the stability of you leaves. Let him be in pain, I wish you the best!!
His username is very, very easy to find I think someone dug up his email too, as of right now they've got a lot and he's being harassed even though his reddit was deleted Fuck'm his dumbass brought it upon himself
He's being a hurt little bitch because he got caught out. Not your fault at all.
He posted it in a thread about “the coolest thing you’ve done recently”, love. Don’t blame yourself for any of it. He did it himself, he thought it was cool, and the only thing he regrets now is getting caught in the act.
Fuck him. Baby needs to learn to accept the consequences of his decisions.
Lol the only person he has to blame is himself. He’s mad about being called out for being a piece of shit? Maybe he shouldn’t be a piece of shit. That’s on him, not you. The best thing you can do is get what’s yours and get out.
Girl, I am loving this color on you. Make sure this goes on all social media and tag his entire damn family. You look fucking great today, btw.
I sent a message to his family just saying good bye and that I would miss them. I did mention his infidelity but not in a mean way just FYI. His sister posted in a group chat she thought I was not in pretty much saying I was crazy and “if he was ok” or “needed anything”
Get as much evidence you can if you live in a [fault state or a state that allows kind of "fault" reasons for divorce](https://southdenverlaw.com/case/divorce-no-fault-states/) > Fault States: Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, Connecticut, Delaware, Georgia, Maryland, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, South Carolina, Vermont, Virginia, and DC. > No Fault States: Wisconsin, Oregon, Washington, Nevada, Nebraska, Montana, Missouri, Minnesota, Michigan, Kentucky, Kansas, Iowa, Indiana, Hawaii, Florida, Colorado, and California The rest have concessions that can help in custody and other divorce disputes so still get evidence ( texts message him from now on or [record calls if you live in a single party consent state](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Telephone_call_recording_laws) ) > Thirty-three U.S. states offer persons undergoing a divorce the option of no-fault divorce, but these states can also be considered “fault states” as persons can choose to file for divorce in the traditional way of casting blame. Fault typically includes grounds for divorce including **adultery** , abandonment, inability to engage in sexual intercourse, being in jail, or cruelty.
Fuck ‘em, let them talk their shit, ultimately the family is gonna end up arguing over this and it will always boil down to your ex-husband looking like a fuckin toolbag. Just make sure that at least one of them has the screenshot of his Reddit comment so there is irrefutable proof, and they’ll probably argue about this for years.
Family will believe his lies and stick with him no matter what. Trust me, it’s a waste of time, just leave them all like hot garbage.
It sounds like the whole family is a piece of shit. I'm sorry.
I sent a message to his family just saying good bye and that I would miss them. I did mention his infidelity but not in a mean way just FYI. His sister posted in a group chat she thought I was not in pretty much saying I was crazy and “if he was ok” or “needed anything”
Did you reply with a mic drop? You seem to be coming out swinging and good on you! But sorry for the shit you have to deal with seems like a real pos blaming you as if he only just started to have those feelings and couldn’t tell you before planning a weekend away
Just imagine keeping quiet in that chat while everybody unloads just in case nobody remember she's actually in that group. Then after everybody has shown their true colors just leave the group, giving everybody the notification. Douche chill.
Nah take screenshots before leaving
I would have to say something like ‘thanks all that feels great to hear I should probably leave you to it’ before leaving.
His sister is a terrible person. You’re lucky to be away from that entire family.
Get a lawyer, ASAP.
Oof, i'm so sorry.
I'm here for the Oof. That one is pretty rough. Love her attitude about it though (the wife), she woke up and chose violence.
Imagine ruining your marriage and only getting 3 upvotes
I'm sorry dude. Been cheated on, it fucking sucks. Also lost best friends and I dunno, that felt worse to me. Lonely horrible feeling.
You're blasting this everywhere and I appreciate it. I hope you move forward with ease and as little stress as possible, call this POS out!
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Gawd this is so true
I’m so sorry - specifically for if your husband ever gaslit you during the times leading up to this when you were feeling suspicious. In case you need to hear it today: you were never “paranoid,” you are not untrusting, you are rational, and you deserve your dignity and respect. Time to end things, and thank god this POS won’t be wasting any more of your precious life energy.
Daaamn wtf was he thinking? Congratulations for losing about 180-200 pounds of useless weight on your shoulders! Edit-these nice guys are really butt hurt over this comment that was meant to be light hearted for op. Reading these comments and laughing my ass off. Keep it coming r/niceguys
It’s the fact that he gloated on Reddit about it. So self-centred that he decided to find out if the best friend was interested before leaving his wife. Just in case she wasn’t he had a backup plan to “keep” the wife. It’s alarming that someone with no empathy and care is a friggin nurse of all things. OP you deserve so much better than this POS.
Well this is awkward. Were you on the camping trip too?
Haha no. I’m dumb and didn’t go. Just the two of them in what I later found out was a one bed cabin.
You’re not dumb. You put trust into your husband, not knowing he would take that trust and stomp all over it. You’re so far from dumb OP… you’re human. He’s dumb. He cheated, then was dumb enough to make a post about it on Reddit on an account that you were able to find, *that’s* dumb. I know it won’t help in this current moment (I’m sure you’re still going through the motions), but just know in the future, you’ll find someone way better who is loyal and respects you, and someday you’ll look back at all this and realize he did you a favour. He revealed who he really is, and he can’t turn back now.
100% this. Relationships, especially marriages, should be based on trust. You should not have to worry or try to avoid your SO being away or out with other people. The only version of a healthy relationship is one where those situations have no risk what so ever. If they cheat, you're not an idiot for trusting them. If you feel the need to restrict their movement and "protect yourself" from situations that might "make" your SO cheat, you're either in the wrong relationship or you need to work on your trust issues before they damage a good thing.
This comment needs to be pinned.
It's not your responsibility to keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn't cheat. That's no way to live. It's his responsibility to not cheat. You did absolutely nothing wrong.
i went through an entire rollercoaster of emotions in the past 15 seconds from “oh man good for you dude!” to “that’s the perfect reply lmao” to “wait why is this on r/facepalm with 60k+ upvotes?” to “OH SHIT”
Hey Taylor, u ok?
Nope. I’m going inpatient psych and he has the love of his life.
Probably doesn't mean much coming from a random on the internet, but please be honest with the staff about everything and anything, they'll make sure you're ok and that you'll get through this if you be honest. I know because I had to go into inpatient psych. The part of going in is the hardest part, from there they'll make sure you're ok and have the resources you need. And don't ever blame yourself for this, you did nothing wrong. Just please be safe
Hey Taylor my mom went in patient psych after her second husband left her (they had a 10 year essentially love less relationship, a lot of cheating) and before she met my dad. She went thru in patient a few more times but it’s like ~30 years later and I thankfully still have her with me. I’m sending the best vibes ever to you. ❤️ Edit: she met my dad maybe a year or two after the ex left her. They had an amazing love story and my dad was great to her thru all her mental health struggles and she was great to him thru his battles with cancer. She didn’t want kids but my dad did. They accidentally got pregnant with me (around 40 yo) and decided to keep me - thank God. I think it all worked out for the best in the end. I lost my daddy but I still have my mom. She’s my hero
I've done inpatient psych twice, and the first time was right after a brutal end to a relationship not dissimilar to yours (they're now married, yay! 😥). I've been there before so I know there isn't a goddamn thing I can say to make you feel better right now, so I won't even try, but I hope you can find your reasons to keep going and that you can eventually have the last laugh. Also, since you seem to still legally be married, make sure you do what you need to before checking in to make sure he has no control over your healthcare decisions while you're in the hospital.
Listen, this is not the happily ever after for them that you’re seeing in your nightmares. People who cheat never do it to one person. When he gets bored with her (and he will) or when parts of her personality are revealed that he doesn’t like (and they will), he will get roaming eyes again. “Everything you do comes back to you” is something a wise person once told me, and the older I get the more I realize how true it is. It may not happen in the timeframe you want, but they will get theirs one way or another. The best revenge is getting through this and living well. You will be ok.
Not to even mention the fact that giant sweeping generalizations like “love of my life” made WHILE ON MUSHROOMS may be a little…suspect, to say the least. Like, folks on mushrooms feel amazing connections to the carpet and the ceiling fan.
I think the divorce hearings will be pretty quick with this particular piece of evidence. P.S. sorry for the unfortunate way you found out about this, I wish you nothing but happiness after the dust settles.
Unfortunately the "no fault" divorce system doesn't care if someone was cheating.
Jesus christ already people thirsting in the comments. Life isn’t a porn video dudes. Hang in there OP. I’m sorry you have to deal with this situation
Bruh
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I’ve been there and know how hard it can be. As difficult as it’s going to be you need to move on. It won’t seem like it’s possible at first but someday you’ll look back and know that you made the right choice by leaving. He obviously is looking for something else that the two of you don’t have. Don’t blame yourself, it takes two people for these things to happen. Stay strong and someday you’ll find happiness way beyond what you’ve known in your life so far. I promise.
I have a rule now after going through a cheating relationship. If it happened once, it'll happen again, move on, find someone who cares and wants you for you, not a mushroom binged retreat. I've done shrooms, you can feel connected to an ant, which seems to be this dudes emotional level. E: next time lace this dudes shrroms with ayahuasca.
This is probably the first time I've seen a cheating post where I didn't see any "she deserved it." Comments. Good job facepalm.
Check the other subs OP posted this in. I saw it in mildly infuriating and there were a few along those lines before it got locked
Yeah I got banned from there. Makes you feel really supported.
That is mildly infuriating. Jokes aside, don't let a little power getting into a reddit mods head make you feel unsupported.
> a little power getting into a reddit mods head Reddit really needs to change its permabanning policy as it's become far too abused by the mods. Maybe only allow admins to permaban or require a random 2nd mod to agree with the ban. Also reddit need to start paying for professional mods for the top 25 subs as the current unpaid system only attracts the worst losers who can't or won't get a job and who can stay at home all day abusing what little power they have over people as a mod. https://www.reddit.com/r/modsbeingdicks/
Don't let it get to you. They'll ban you for anything on that sub.
Yeah, those mods are emotionally stunted assholes. Getting banned there is almost telling people that they’re normal 😂
I don’t think r/mildlyinfuriating is where you should go for support.
Ya boy 'hit back' in r/self but he just ended up looking like more of a fuckin clown
I saw this same post on mildly infuriating from the same person. This lady is (rightfully) destroying the man on every corner of the internet.
Do. Not. Forgive. Him. Looks like you guys have no kids and you’re still young. I know you’re goin’ through it, but you are gonna be SO much better off without this man-baby in your life (man-baby said with confidence after a look into his Reddit history). And do not blame this on yourself. Plenty of us struggle with our mental and physical health—we still deserve good, loyal and caring partners. Problems arise in any relationship and sometimes people grow apart, but anyone who does something like this is absolutely, most definitely, 100% NOT worth building more of a life with. “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
Wow. I’d be absolutely heartbroken. 🥺
Oh this happened to me years ago on r/offmychest How I found out the real reason my bf of 7 years dumped me.
I was like wow not cool OP did not blur the wife's username, but then I saw OP's username.... oh my oh my... I feel so sorry for you to learn it that way
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Comment from the wife: That it’s my fault for letting myself go this past year I haven’t been working (which he told me would be ok). BTW I’m disabled and still trying to mentally recover from an un aliving (sp?) attempt a year and a couple months ago that left me in the ICU.
Hi! I’m the last person the cheater commented to on Reddit, and I’m a Pornstar! (Proof in my comments) 🤣 AMA!
LMAOOOOOO! I was just creeping your comments due to the whole cheater thing. Anyway congrats on your newfound fame! :p