You can blur, cover with a smiley, crop off your head if you want. But without a photo, your profile had better be *amazing* for me to keep reading past the first couple lines.
You're on the app to make connections, right? Eye contact is an important part of that.
Yeah, that is a good point. It’s just the nature of the app? I don’t want my boss or my kids PE teacher seeing me on there, would make life awkward to say the least!
If they see you, that means they are on the app too! I say face pic but perhaps don’t be as explicit about specific desires or kinks until you connect with someone if privacy is a concern.
I reject all profiles without face pics or blurred out face pics and know I’m not alone in that decision.
Like QuietRemarkable said, the only way your boss would see your photo is if they're on the app too!
Being on dating apps at all has some risks, sure. I've been on dating apps since 2015 and I live near a big city. In all that time, I can count the times I've spotted someone that I knew IRL on one hand.
Two. The number is two. Three if you want to count the swinger party where I bumped into someone I'd met in the wild.
Not really! I had a client (boudoir photos for an OF account) get outed anonymously when someone took screenshots of her and sent them to her work with a throw-away Gmail account.
Yes but that is unusual behaviour tbh and would point to the sender having an axe to grind. If I see someone I know IRL on an app I'm already using, I'll either block them immediately or drop them a like or message depending on how I feel about them. It would never cross my mind to want to make trouble for them unless they'd murdered my pet or something equally foul, by which point it's basically karma biting them in the ass. And even then I'd have to give it some very careful thought because I'm not the vindictive type anyway.
Thing is, if you live in fear of that happening, you'll miss out on so much good stuff, and it may not happen anyway. And if it does happen, it might mean some short term embarrassment but people will move on soon enough and the offending party may well find themselves in a similar or worse situation.
It's not like being on a dating site is particularly shocking in today's society even if it is poly/casual relationship focused anyway. We're not breaking any laws.
For that matter there's enough plausible deniability to be able to say 'that's my picture cut and pasted into something I've never seen before'. Which will give you enough time to hide/delete your account. It'd be an odd world indeed where your boss signs up to the app just to stalk for your profile based on an anonymous email.
I spotted a pretty senior guy at work on there…and a few days later got a Like from him - which I ignored, but definitely got me seeing him and our office interactions in a bit of a different light!
The only way round it I have found is to be incognito, then you can have face pics and only the people you like will see them (and your profile, so you can be open about your desires and stuff too).
You have to pay for that though.
Something to keep in mind is that even if you make matches, you might have a higher than average rate of being ghosted if you eventually show someone privately. You're not allowing them to make a decision based on your looks ahead of time. Just be prepared for that potential extra level of rejection.
Hadn’t thought of this either, that would be pretty brutal over time? I need a middle ground pic or I need to just stop caring about people knowing I have sex
Yes, that second sentiment, not caring people know you have sex, is something to get comfortable with if you’re looking to have a sex positive experience with others!
As a few people have noted, I very very rarely swipe to match on people with no face photo, and if I do I expect them to be prepared to share one immediately, and be ultimately okay with polite rejection based on looks. Either be prepare your ego for that, and unmatching after face photo sharing, ghosting, and maybe otherwise potentially hurtful interactions - or show your face and know that whomever matched with you is actually into you. You -could- make your face pic a private pic, so that people see once they match with you, but again, there may be people who don’t respond or engage after you match.
That happens so frequently anyway, that it may not matter, but to reduce then chance of that, sharing your face bridges the gap much sooner.
I swipe away anyone without a clear photo of themselves. We're all in the same boat and if someone saw you on the site, they are there for the same thing.
Are you up to share pics after the match? Better to put in the description, although I think it's weird the ones don't want to share neither in the profile nor at the beginning of a conversation.
Yes, definitely. I’ve got more private profile pics but you decide who sees those?
It’s control in a new environment, maybe it’s made me feel a bit vulnerable, idk but someone raised a good point about the quality of likes an anonymous profile gets so I think I’m just gonna put a proper pic up and style it out!
Well, if you are a woman, show something except the face (fade or smile), and/or nice description, I think it will still work well.
About men, I'm not sure if it would.
That’s a good idea, actually. I wouldn’t even mind like a half face, close up?
Would that work, not instantly recognisable if you know me but enough for someone to see if I’m their type?
So I live on a tiny island that gets a constant flow of tourists. The local people I mostly recognize on the app including friends, former dates and acquaintances, as well as including at least 10+ well known abusers and rapists. We have a huge problem with domestic violence here so it makes me feel cautious to openly show my face since I’ve already had a stalker previously and it’s incredibly easy to find out where someone lives.
I’ve tried blurring my face which still got tons of likes even from quality men since it’s slim pickings for men here. I’ve tried buying Majestic so I can be in incognito and have a mix of private photos and blurred so they have to match to see my face. I rarely got rejected after they saw my face since let’s be real this app is more in favor to women since it’s a sausage fest. I also tried incognito with pictures fully displayed so when I liked someone only they could see it. That worked well and next time I reactive my account I probably would do that again since it felt more empowering. Recently had a half view of my face smiling with sunglasses and that seemed like a happy medium since they get a decent view that I’m not at least ugly lol. I also had a bio that men frequently commented that they found really intriguing and exciting which I’m sure helped. Hopefully this helps you a bit!
I would at least suggest to show your body up to your smile. As a girl, I find the body and jaw and smile the most attractive on a man.
If you want I could help you chose the right picture
Do what you're comfortable with. Everyone does this differently. I'm the man half of a MF couple we have body pics with faces obscured and we do just fine. We show pics when we determine there's a real local adult chatting with us. Feeld doesn't do any screening at all. It's a free app. Just because someone is matching doesn't mean they're in the same boat as you. In addition to bots, scammers, etc, around here teenagers download the app as a joke just to screw with people.
Also people screenshot and steal pics and post them.
I don't want mine or my wifes face out there to be stolen by bots and reused or blackmailing us either.
Have a clear profile with all your intentions.
This is a part-time hobby, it's not my full time job.
I don't want everyone around here to know all my business.
Everyone's on the same boat, don't understand why someone wouldn't want to show their faces but you do you.
What particularly triggers me are profiles that justify not showing their faces for "professional reasons". Like I'm sorry you're not the only person with a job here
For many people, if not most, a faceless profile is an automatic no. I’ve sometimes swiped yes for a compelling profile and then asked for a photo. I think every single time, the photo is disappointing and I am not attracted.
Much better to show your face and be vague about your kinks if that’s what you’re being discrete about. That being said, I find shame and secrecy about sex to be very unattractive, and haven’t had much luck with people who take this approach either
If you're a cis woman, or femme presenting nonbinary, you should be OK. Crop your head out of the picture and explain you will send face pictures as soon as you match. You will get some fewer matches but still plenty of interest.
If you're a man, masculine presenting nonbinary, or transgender you probably won't get a lot of attention sadly. Can still try it though.
Either way you're just going to get interest for sex/hookups (most poly folks won't be interested if you're that nervous about showing your face, it's a good indication people aren't ready for polyamory) so focus on pictures that show that side of you- wearing sexy clothes or lingerie, or shirtless and flexing. Pose with kink gear if that's what you're looking for.
Consider the quality of those likes though. They're basically setting themselves up for a blind date. For the majority of those men the qualifications they're looking for are:
* Breathing
* ≥1 hole
* Looks more like a woman than a man
The point above is a very good one, most people who swipe without knowing what someone looks like are generally more thirsty or desperate, and that may or may not work in your favor, it depends what you want here. But transparency is a huge green flag, while being discreet can often include less savory elements of connection, in my experience anyway. People could be cheating, for example, and say “professional reasons” as a cover for that. And i, and many others, don’t like to deal with drama.
Lol I mean some will definitely unmatch if they see your face and decide they are not into you. It's more that men don't have the same fears that you might be dangerous
Here's an idea I've had but I haven't done it yet. You can get those AI photo. Generators, you upload 10 of your own photos and it makes one of you and some funny outfit or whatever it is.... In my experience. Experience they don't look 100% like me, but it's close enough I think for an app
What are you looking for on the app? If you're unmarried, why do you care who sees you on the app? It's a dating app. It's not a big deal unless your profile says "Show up at my house anytime and dick me down, no reservation necessary."
You’ve seen it then?
No, there isn’t anything like that on there so that’s ok but I might remove a couple of the preferences!
I live in a place where everyone either knows or wants to know your business and I’d just really rather they didn’t.
No, in all honesty, and a few local people have liked my tinder profile. A regional manager where I work liked it at the weekend but I’m not bothered by that, I’m embarrassed for him because it’s weird that he did that?
But they’d know why I’m on Feeld and I think I need to work out why that makes me cringe!
I’m looking for fwb but on a regular basis, I’m not really into ONS but don’t want a commitment either.
Which is extremely tame in the circumstances but if next door’s cousin saw me on it then the school run gossip for the next year would be about all bukkake parties and BDSM gangbangs I attend, wouldn’t it?
If your profile just says you're looking for a FWB, why? The average person doesn't know what Feeld is. If someone asked you could be like "the guys on Tinder are gross, I'm just looking for a guy to spend time with who won't give me an STD."
I feel seen, that’s exactly why I’m there. At least on Feeld, both parties are aware it’s an open relationship!
I don’t even have a bio yet, just preferences. So,so bad at this!
When we first started out we had face pictures but blacked out our faces. Shortly we went to just blacking out our eye area. Then just normal pictures. All this was at my wife's insistence, despite my job being much higher risk.
The very first couple we matched and played with we knew through a mutual friend. We had met the couple a week ago at a brunch.
You don’t have to show your face and yes you can crop or blur BUT people with no face pics on their profiles have less engagement
You can blur, cover with a smiley, crop off your head if you want. But without a photo, your profile had better be *amazing* for me to keep reading past the first couple lines. You're on the app to make connections, right? Eye contact is an important part of that.
Yeah, that is a good point. It’s just the nature of the app? I don’t want my boss or my kids PE teacher seeing me on there, would make life awkward to say the least!
If they see you, that means they are on the app too! I say face pic but perhaps don’t be as explicit about specific desires or kinks until you connect with someone if privacy is a concern. I reject all profiles without face pics or blurred out face pics and know I’m not alone in that decision.
Like QuietRemarkable said, the only way your boss would see your photo is if they're on the app too! Being on dating apps at all has some risks, sure. I've been on dating apps since 2015 and I live near a big city. In all that time, I can count the times I've spotted someone that I knew IRL on one hand. Two. The number is two. Three if you want to count the swinger party where I bumped into someone I'd met in the wild.
Not really! I had a client (boudoir photos for an OF account) get outed anonymously when someone took screenshots of her and sent them to her work with a throw-away Gmail account.
Yes but that is unusual behaviour tbh and would point to the sender having an axe to grind. If I see someone I know IRL on an app I'm already using, I'll either block them immediately or drop them a like or message depending on how I feel about them. It would never cross my mind to want to make trouble for them unless they'd murdered my pet or something equally foul, by which point it's basically karma biting them in the ass. And even then I'd have to give it some very careful thought because I'm not the vindictive type anyway.
totally get that...and I would be the same way but some people are just really petty.
Thing is, if you live in fear of that happening, you'll miss out on so much good stuff, and it may not happen anyway. And if it does happen, it might mean some short term embarrassment but people will move on soon enough and the offending party may well find themselves in a similar or worse situation. It's not like being on a dating site is particularly shocking in today's society even if it is poly/casual relationship focused anyway. We're not breaking any laws. For that matter there's enough plausible deniability to be able to say 'that's my picture cut and pasted into something I've never seen before'. Which will give you enough time to hide/delete your account. It'd be an odd world indeed where your boss signs up to the app just to stalk for your profile based on an anonymous email.
The last line on my profile is "If you know me, then swipe right and let's make it awkward" Just stopped giving a f. Took a while to get there tho.
Did it work..? 👀
Define work 😂
I mean, did anyone you know meaage you, was it anyone you were pleased to hear from etc etc?
No one who I knew but I got a couple matches who said it was funny. Took it as a win
I spotted a pretty senior guy at work on there…and a few days later got a Like from him - which I ignored, but definitely got me seeing him and our office interactions in a bit of a different light!
I always swipe left on profiles like this. It’s a massive red flag.
If you are a woman, you can get by without a face photo. If you are a man, you will not get many or any matches.
The only way round it I have found is to be incognito, then you can have face pics and only the people you like will see them (and your profile, so you can be open about your desires and stuff too). You have to pay for that though.
Something to keep in mind is that even if you make matches, you might have a higher than average rate of being ghosted if you eventually show someone privately. You're not allowing them to make a decision based on your looks ahead of time. Just be prepared for that potential extra level of rejection.
Hadn’t thought of this either, that would be pretty brutal over time? I need a middle ground pic or I need to just stop caring about people knowing I have sex
Yes, that second sentiment, not caring people know you have sex, is something to get comfortable with if you’re looking to have a sex positive experience with others! As a few people have noted, I very very rarely swipe to match on people with no face photo, and if I do I expect them to be prepared to share one immediately, and be ultimately okay with polite rejection based on looks. Either be prepare your ego for that, and unmatching after face photo sharing, ghosting, and maybe otherwise potentially hurtful interactions - or show your face and know that whomever matched with you is actually into you. You -could- make your face pic a private pic, so that people see once they match with you, but again, there may be people who don’t respond or engage after you match. That happens so frequently anyway, that it may not matter, but to reduce then chance of that, sharing your face bridges the gap much sooner.
No advice, but good luck. Faceless profile is an automatic swipe left for a lot of people. I'd assume you were a bot.
I swipe away anyone without a clear photo of themselves. We're all in the same boat and if someone saw you on the site, they are there for the same thing.
Are you up to share pics after the match? Better to put in the description, although I think it's weird the ones don't want to share neither in the profile nor at the beginning of a conversation.
Yes, definitely. I’ve got more private profile pics but you decide who sees those? It’s control in a new environment, maybe it’s made me feel a bit vulnerable, idk but someone raised a good point about the quality of likes an anonymous profile gets so I think I’m just gonna put a proper pic up and style it out!
Well, if you are a woman, show something except the face (fade or smile), and/or nice description, I think it will still work well. About men, I'm not sure if it would.
That’s a good idea, actually. I wouldn’t even mind like a half face, close up? Would that work, not instantly recognisable if you know me but enough for someone to see if I’m their type?
I think it would.
So I live on a tiny island that gets a constant flow of tourists. The local people I mostly recognize on the app including friends, former dates and acquaintances, as well as including at least 10+ well known abusers and rapists. We have a huge problem with domestic violence here so it makes me feel cautious to openly show my face since I’ve already had a stalker previously and it’s incredibly easy to find out where someone lives. I’ve tried blurring my face which still got tons of likes even from quality men since it’s slim pickings for men here. I’ve tried buying Majestic so I can be in incognito and have a mix of private photos and blurred so they have to match to see my face. I rarely got rejected after they saw my face since let’s be real this app is more in favor to women since it’s a sausage fest. I also tried incognito with pictures fully displayed so when I liked someone only they could see it. That worked well and next time I reactive my account I probably would do that again since it felt more empowering. Recently had a half view of my face smiling with sunglasses and that seemed like a happy medium since they get a decent view that I’m not at least ugly lol. I also had a bio that men frequently commented that they found really intriguing and exciting which I’m sure helped. Hopefully this helps you a bit!
I would at least suggest to show your body up to your smile. As a girl, I find the body and jaw and smile the most attractive on a man. If you want I could help you chose the right picture
Lots of people blur their faces or just put body shots. You’re a woman, you’ll be fine!
Do what you're comfortable with. Everyone does this differently. I'm the man half of a MF couple we have body pics with faces obscured and we do just fine. We show pics when we determine there's a real local adult chatting with us. Feeld doesn't do any screening at all. It's a free app. Just because someone is matching doesn't mean they're in the same boat as you. In addition to bots, scammers, etc, around here teenagers download the app as a joke just to screw with people. Also people screenshot and steal pics and post them. I don't want mine or my wifes face out there to be stolen by bots and reused or blackmailing us either. Have a clear profile with all your intentions. This is a part-time hobby, it's not my full time job. I don't want everyone around here to know all my business.
I just put up a picture of a painting. Still ended up with several real women.
Of Dorian Gray?
It's a picture that has a house in it, lol. Water color. My imagined happy place.
Lol it was a joke. Picture of Dorian Gray.
Argh...
Everyone's on the same boat, don't understand why someone wouldn't want to show their faces but you do you. What particularly triggers me are profiles that justify not showing their faces for "professional reasons". Like I'm sorry you're not the only person with a job here
Agreed, and makes me think they don’t understand that professional people are also kinky and enm. We aren’t -only- a bunch of clowns.
For many people, if not most, a faceless profile is an automatic no. I’ve sometimes swiped yes for a compelling profile and then asked for a photo. I think every single time, the photo is disappointing and I am not attracted. Much better to show your face and be vague about your kinks if that’s what you’re being discrete about. That being said, I find shame and secrecy about sex to be very unattractive, and haven’t had much luck with people who take this approach either
If you're a cis woman, or femme presenting nonbinary, you should be OK. Crop your head out of the picture and explain you will send face pictures as soon as you match. You will get some fewer matches but still plenty of interest. If you're a man, masculine presenting nonbinary, or transgender you probably won't get a lot of attention sadly. Can still try it though. Either way you're just going to get interest for sex/hookups (most poly folks won't be interested if you're that nervous about showing your face, it's a good indication people aren't ready for polyamory) so focus on pictures that show that side of you- wearing sexy clothes or lingerie, or shirtless and flexing. Pose with kink gear if that's what you're looking for.
Yes, straight female so I’m getting likes anyway. Men aren’t particularly fussy, are they?
Consider the quality of those likes though. They're basically setting themselves up for a blind date. For the majority of those men the qualifications they're looking for are: * Breathing * ≥1 hole * Looks more like a woman than a man
Excellent point! God, I’m so bad at this! I’m new, does it show?
The point above is a very good one, most people who swipe without knowing what someone looks like are generally more thirsty or desperate, and that may or may not work in your favor, it depends what you want here. But transparency is a huge green flag, while being discreet can often include less savory elements of connection, in my experience anyway. People could be cheating, for example, and say “professional reasons” as a cover for that. And i, and many others, don’t like to deal with drama.
Lol I mean some will definitely unmatch if they see your face and decide they are not into you. It's more that men don't have the same fears that you might be dangerous
Here's an idea I've had but I haven't done it yet. You can get those AI photo. Generators, you upload 10 of your own photos and it makes one of you and some funny outfit or whatever it is.... In my experience. Experience they don't look 100% like me, but it's close enough I think for an app
It is a dating app. Show your face. You can blur if you want but you will then complain you don't get matches.
I don't even have a photo of myself and I have more matches than I can handle.
I'm guessing you're female...
Yes, I should have included that in my original reply. I imagine that changes things.
What are you looking for on the app? If you're unmarried, why do you care who sees you on the app? It's a dating app. It's not a big deal unless your profile says "Show up at my house anytime and dick me down, no reservation necessary."
You’ve seen it then? No, there isn’t anything like that on there so that’s ok but I might remove a couple of the preferences! I live in a place where everyone either knows or wants to know your business and I’d just really rather they didn’t.
Would you feel the same if they saw you on tinder?
No, in all honesty, and a few local people have liked my tinder profile. A regional manager where I work liked it at the weekend but I’m not bothered by that, I’m embarrassed for him because it’s weird that he did that? But they’d know why I’m on Feeld and I think I need to work out why that makes me cringe!
If you're comfortable saying, why are you on it?
I’m looking for fwb but on a regular basis, I’m not really into ONS but don’t want a commitment either. Which is extremely tame in the circumstances but if next door’s cousin saw me on it then the school run gossip for the next year would be about all bukkake parties and BDSM gangbangs I attend, wouldn’t it?
If your profile just says you're looking for a FWB, why? The average person doesn't know what Feeld is. If someone asked you could be like "the guys on Tinder are gross, I'm just looking for a guy to spend time with who won't give me an STD."
I feel seen, that’s exactly why I’m there. At least on Feeld, both parties are aware it’s an open relationship! I don’t even have a bio yet, just preferences. So,so bad at this!
When we first started out we had face pictures but blacked out our faces. Shortly we went to just blacking out our eye area. Then just normal pictures. All this was at my wife's insistence, despite my job being much higher risk. The very first couple we matched and played with we knew through a mutual friend. We had met the couple a week ago at a brunch.
If there is no face, that’s the first thing I ask for if it’s match - and it better be a great profile.