Well what do you Identify as? if you say male then male, if female then female. But just to be safe you would want to look at your states law on that and whatever you do remember to be comfortable with your choice because this will change a lot of things that you may not be ready for
I don't think you need to worry about the law referring to style of dress, but I would check about rules regarding restrooms and the like. Some places do have ordinances that require you to use your 'Actual Gender' meaning if you have a penis, you're using the men's room or facing possible legal action.
Not too silly unless we're talking about individual public bathrooms. But those aren't too convenient, so that's why we've stuck with the typical gendered ones.
Hm? Not really, by definition you have to be male to be a feminine boy. Even if you're genderfluid, you're only a femboy when you're in boy mode. If you're non binary but not genderfluid, you're not a femboy, you're a femby. I think that covers everything.
To me, a femboy is specifically a "male identifying person who prefers to present themselves in a conventionally feminine way". I think this is a definition we can all get behind.
Labels help us describe things, they aren't a strict rule or an end all be all. I think anyone who identifies as at least partially non woman in some way is allowed to identify with femboy as well. Gender is a strange and personal experience, not even two cis men will identify as "man" in the same way, the label "man" exists for people to share under a similar experience rather than have to meet arbitrary rules that dictate what a man is or isn't. Femboy exists as a community for people to express themselves, there's not really strict regulations on what it means to qualify to be a femboy. There's no femboy police.
I honestly agree. Because it's a simple concept that doesn't need to be broken in any way. It's FemBOY. So, anybody who is a biological male but dresses and acts fem have the right to go into the male bathrooms just like they always have their entire lives. FemBY's will use the bathroom their BIOLOGY inclines them to use. And Trans male individuals who identify as a femboy will stick to, ofcourse, their biologically inclined gendered bathroom unless they have already fully transitioned and have "a green card" to get inside.
Not just anybody should be using these bathrooms because anybody can be assaulted or harassed. Even femboys run danger for encounters in male restrooms, which is worrysome. But since the trans movement started to take place, so many biological men who haven't even bothered transitioning in anything, sneak into the bathrooms, claiming they're a woman and demanding rights after traumatizing certain individuals. And I specify this for biological men because it's what I mostly hear. But a biological woman can definitely do the same.
So, I believe that, no matter what you dress like, stick to your biology for the most part.
I am trans, im in a community, intersex is extremely rare that is irrelevant in normal conversations. Hence why is not asked by doctors when prescribing or in diagnostics when sex is relevant.
It is a stupid argument, but it's an actual thing that happens. Like, even with well known athletes who haven't fully transitioned and use the woman's locker room making everyone uncomfy.
And ungendered bathrooms I think is better for when they're for a person at a time. Because the bathroom won't be full all the time, so it CAN lead to harassment.
Ik but people seem to think some guy can’t already walk into the girls room and I’m sure a lot of transitioned trans men would scare women and we would have the same situation caused by them, there should just be unisex toilets everywhere
Maybe too much info but to make it seem more fair technically you can buy a silicone funnel as a woman to piss standing but of course you need some watertight bag and a microfiber cloth to soak up the piss drops left...so it's not really that fair but
Huh interesting I'm a guy so I don't know too much about the process of using it I just know my mom bought one and still found it useful to bring occasionally for events so it's interesting people can use it more often in their life!
Edit: NVM read a /AskReddit and they explain it in a way that makes sense... One drunk lady does some weird shit... And makes it visibly shit looking and then all the other women have to hover over the seat while taking a piss and even if they don't miss the splashing from higher heights causes more mess...
REALLY how the fuck do they do it??? BUT i guess guys can use them and miss... But women using it for normal purposes and missing!?
Well not to get too descriptive but women can't hold it as well as men can and you are also forgetting about periods and discharges the smell was.... blegh I'd rather clean dude bathrooms any day
Mens bathroom, it would be a lot worse if someone realized a guy was in a girl’s bathroom even if you looked feminine. Someone might try and call security for that. It’s better to just go to the men’s. Besides, if it’s an event in a public space, some people probably saw some other cosplayers and figure there’s something going on for why you dressed like that. You won’t see anyone in that bathroom ever again anyway
I use the men’s room
I think it’s funny how awkward some men are when I’m in there lol
But 99% of them don’t even care
The only times I’ve used the women’s room was at the club back in the day
You can stick with your biological genders appointed restroom as it’s cosplay, there are men and women who will be wearing more feminine/masculine clothing than you will by wearing a maid outfit. It would also benefit you to stick to your biological genders restroom, due to the fact of going into the opposite genders restroom might ruin your image making you look like a creep.
They could be a trans girl for all we know, even if they’re not going into the men’s bathroom can be scary when dressed fem so it’s not a bad question to ask
Im actually a boy (gay) :3 but it’s just my first time dressing feminine in the public like this, so im kinda worried, especially about this bathroom problem
Unless you have a gender identity that is partly girl. Then stick to the men's restroom. But a 'family restroom' is the best option if available.
Side rant. Semi-Private gendered bathrooms are a terrible idea. The best design I've ever seen for public facilities was a bunch of porta potties with a public trough sink. Seriously, why can't we have fully private non-gender specific toilets, and a public sink in the hallway to access them? Any crime other than drug use would be obvious. The safety of such an arrangement would be better. And you never have to worry about running out of stalls in a gendered restroom, when the restroom isn't gendered. It baffles me.
I know what's like to be in that kind of moment where you have to choose to go in a girls bathroom and a boys bathroom but you can choose the boys bathroom they wouldn't mind
I would go with your biological gender. If you're look like a woman, then just explain it to anybody that asks. If people stare, that's what you want if you're wearing a maid outfit to a cosplay fest
i regularly attend cosplay events dressed as men or women (i'm nonbinary) and with my femboy boyfriend who also will dress as a woman. the real answer is: whichever you feel safest in.
Whichever you feel safest. No matter how femme, I use the mens. Never had any issues. And as has been said, a little gender presentation mixup is kinda expected at cosplay events.
Okay, in this case, you in Maid seems similar to me in bikini, which is when I did not see a point in going to the gents'. Just be polite, don't bother anyone, and without urinals, there is more privacy overall, so who is to tell for sure?
I'd see if there are some family/disabled/all abilities/etc toilet facilities to use if you're completely on the fence when you arrive. Other than that, I'd gauge the crowd & see how welcoming they are. Women's bathrooms, everyone gets their own lil cubicles, unless there's a line up, you're not going to be able to be noticed by many people as it's simply, in the door, straight to a cubicle. Out the cubicle via the wash basin & back out the door. Vs standing next to 3-15 guys at the row of urinals or walking past them to a free cubicle... personally I'd play it by ear on the day. If you're "a guy in a dress" "unpassable" etc, I'd go male/disabled toilet. If you're "passable" and comfortable, go the ladies. These are just my thoughts & at the end of it, I'd play it by ear on the day & judge the crowd personally. Either way, have fun 🙂
I’d say men’s bathroom because in all honesty 85% of men don’t care about that age it’s a toilet we go there ahit and piss unless is boomer hillbilly but most woman wouldn’t like it
Your going to a cosplay festival just use the men’s there gonna be many other cosplayers and think this way just have the thought that I don’t know these people and they don’t know me so why would I be embarrassed or shy I openly express myself irl and online once your in that mindset you will have even more freedom and less stress at Least that’s how I feel
Bro, there are so many dudes that cosplay in maid outfits and even some other female outfits at cosplay events, your almost definitely not gonna be the only one doing it. But you should use the men's cuz if you use the women's and someone realizes your a guy, you could get kicked out of the event, or even get charges. So I recommend using the men's. And I also include that recommendation for trans ppl that haven't been on the opposite gender hormones long enough and still have features that make you still be easily noticed as your bio gender. Just to avoid legal problems, and avoid causing someone to panic, like a woman seeing someone they think is a man in the women's wouldn't go well at all. But if you have been on hormones for a good long while and especially if you have had the surgery(s) done, I'd say it may be fine to use your transitioned genders bathrooms. I'm not against trans or anything, but there are still laws and stuff that need to be worked out for these types of things. I also think ppl that claim to be trans women just to use the women's bathroom are more common than many ppl think, so if you don't look like a woman, I wouldn't suggest trying to use the restroom, (same for trans men) but especially if you see a kid walk into the bathroom, with or without a parent as that could easily end up very bad with accusations and stuff cuz of how some chomo'shave been caught faking being trans to do bad things
Use the bathroom that you identify as if allowed, and don’t worry about what other people think, you’ll likely never see them again and if you did they probably wouldn’t recognize you. It takes 2 to 3 run ins with someone to be able to confidently recognize them especially after seeing them in different outfits.
OK so everyone else clearly live in very safe places (not a criticism) I'm not a femboy but I have crossdressed and was very close to having the shit kicked out of me by multiple midle age men if i hadnt immediately left the bathroom and the pub, and im 6 4 and built like a fridge. The women's bathroom is a much safer place to b in, some random woman being uncomfortable for the 2 minutes is much better than u being beaten up by fascists
If you piss like a girl use the girls if you piss standing then you have to use the men's bathroom... Common decency to not piss on toilets that women generally keep cleaner because they usually sit properly is good enough reason to overcome your anxiety and keep to the males bathroom and if you miss trying to lift the dress or skirt in a way to avoid pissing on it while standing you aren't the only one and not as much of an asshole as long as you still lift the seat up to piss standing
Well what do you Identify as? if you say male then male, if female then female. But just to be safe you would want to look at your states law on that and whatever you do remember to be comfortable with your choice because this will change a lot of things that you may not be ready for
The law says nothing about dressing based on gender so i guess im good to go :3
If you still identify as a dude while wearing a maid's outfit then its clear you should take the men's room. Otherwise people might it creepy
Even if he identified as a woman he should still use mens bathroom
I agree
Always important to do your research and like I said make sure you are comfortable and confident
I don't think you need to worry about the law referring to style of dress, but I would check about rules regarding restrooms and the like. Some places do have ordinances that require you to use your 'Actual Gender' meaning if you have a penis, you're using the men's room or facing possible legal action.
Femboys are male so ofc we'll use the male bathroom.
Not necessarily trans femboys exist
Transboys use the male bathroom right? Or at least they would want to even if they may not always be allowed to do so by society.
Yeah I would think they would, but the whole concept of separate bathrooms is a little silly
Yeah but regardless, if they had to choose one, they'd use the male one
Probably
Not too silly unless we're talking about individual public bathrooms. But those aren't too convenient, so that's why we've stuck with the typical gendered ones.
Well bathrooms with separate stalls are fine but I mean separate for genders or sexes don't really seem needed
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Hm? Not really, by definition you have to be male to be a feminine boy. Even if you're genderfluid, you're only a femboy when you're in boy mode. If you're non binary but not genderfluid, you're not a femboy, you're a femby. I think that covers everything. To me, a femboy is specifically a "male identifying person who prefers to present themselves in a conventionally feminine way". I think this is a definition we can all get behind.
Labels help us describe things, they aren't a strict rule or an end all be all. I think anyone who identifies as at least partially non woman in some way is allowed to identify with femboy as well. Gender is a strange and personal experience, not even two cis men will identify as "man" in the same way, the label "man" exists for people to share under a similar experience rather than have to meet arbitrary rules that dictate what a man is or isn't. Femboy exists as a community for people to express themselves, there's not really strict regulations on what it means to qualify to be a femboy. There's no femboy police.
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Bad faith politics
I honestly agree. Because it's a simple concept that doesn't need to be broken in any way. It's FemBOY. So, anybody who is a biological male but dresses and acts fem have the right to go into the male bathrooms just like they always have their entire lives. FemBY's will use the bathroom their BIOLOGY inclines them to use. And Trans male individuals who identify as a femboy will stick to, ofcourse, their biologically inclined gendered bathroom unless they have already fully transitioned and have "a green card" to get inside. Not just anybody should be using these bathrooms because anybody can be assaulted or harassed. Even femboys run danger for encounters in male restrooms, which is worrysome. But since the trans movement started to take place, so many biological men who haven't even bothered transitioning in anything, sneak into the bathrooms, claiming they're a woman and demanding rights after traumatizing certain individuals. And I specify this for biological men because it's what I mostly hear. But a biological woman can definitely do the same. So, I believe that, no matter what you dress like, stick to your biology for the most part.
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Bad faith politics
non-binary femboys exist
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Being rude
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I am trans, im in a community, intersex is extremely rare that is irrelevant in normal conversations. Hence why is not asked by doctors when prescribing or in diagnostics when sex is relevant.
It litteraly is the name bro, if there is no dong it's not a femboy
don't forget trans men femboys exist
That's less in the spirit imo since I have the monster can in my mind for femboy, but yeah for sure and they are effeminate boys ofc
Boy does not mean you have a penis. Boy means you want to be a boy and called a boy
Yes they are lol it's in the name bro
God I just wish non gendered bathrooms were more standard
Absolutely, would solve a lot of problems like this.
Fr, it’d also make the argument “trans ppl are just creeps trying to go in bathrooms they shouldn’t” even more stupid than it already is
It is a stupid argument, but it's an actual thing that happens. Like, even with well known athletes who haven't fully transitioned and use the woman's locker room making everyone uncomfy. And ungendered bathrooms I think is better for when they're for a person at a time. Because the bathroom won't be full all the time, so it CAN lead to harassment.
Ik but people seem to think some guy can’t already walk into the girls room and I’m sure a lot of transitioned trans men would scare women and we would have the same situation caused by them, there should just be unisex toilets everywhere
Me on my way to the gender neutral bathroom to take the biggest she/it of my life
I just view them as sit or stand rooms at this point.
Holy based af! Mens is quick and dirty and women's is slow but clean...Good for cosplays you want a bit more cleaner or if you got to shit
Maybe too much info but to make it seem more fair technically you can buy a silicone funnel as a woman to piss standing but of course you need some watertight bag and a microfiber cloth to soak up the piss drops left...so it's not really that fair but
Urinella, the product was called at my place. Some gals I knew swore to it, if only to tet down to business faster
Huh interesting I'm a guy so I don't know too much about the process of using it I just know my mom bought one and still found it useful to bring occasionally for events so it's interesting people can use it more often in their life!
As someone who cleaned bathrooms at my first job I can safely say female bathrooms are far more dirty then mens.
Edit: NVM read a /AskReddit and they explain it in a way that makes sense... One drunk lady does some weird shit... And makes it visibly shit looking and then all the other women have to hover over the seat while taking a piss and even if they don't miss the splashing from higher heights causes more mess... REALLY how the fuck do they do it??? BUT i guess guys can use them and miss... But women using it for normal purposes and missing!?
Well not to get too descriptive but women can't hold it as well as men can and you are also forgetting about periods and discharges the smell was.... blegh I'd rather clean dude bathrooms any day
If there is a gender neutral take that, if not go males, Im sure they will understand when you just put on a masc voice
Mens bathroom, it would be a lot worse if someone realized a guy was in a girl’s bathroom even if you looked feminine. Someone might try and call security for that. It’s better to just go to the men’s. Besides, if it’s an event in a public space, some people probably saw some other cosplayers and figure there’s something going on for why you dressed like that. You won’t see anyone in that bathroom ever again anyway
I use the men’s room I think it’s funny how awkward some men are when I’m in there lol But 99% of them don’t even care The only times I’ve used the women’s room was at the club back in the day
At fur cons nobody bats an eye when I'm at the urinal in a mini skirt and fishnets it's fucking hilarious.
They should be checking you out 😘
I mean they probably are, haha
Well, I'd take the men's bathroom. That's gonna be a bit less uncomfortable for the others
You can stick with your biological genders appointed restroom as it’s cosplay, there are men and women who will be wearing more feminine/masculine clothing than you will by wearing a maid outfit. It would also benefit you to stick to your biological genders restroom, due to the fact of going into the opposite genders restroom might ruin your image making you look like a creep.
Big agree. From my experience there have been creeps who were caught doing that
biological gender dont exist the correct is "biological sex"
😑 whatever
Naaaah
Use the men’s bathroom to avoid all trouble
A man asking if he whether he should take the men’s or women’s bathroom… I wonder which one lol.
They could be a trans girl for all we know, even if they’re not going into the men’s bathroom can be scary when dressed fem so it’s not a bad question to ask
Im actually a boy (gay) :3 but it’s just my first time dressing feminine in the public like this, so im kinda worried, especially about this bathroom problem
What does you being gay have to do with you being a boy?
Unless you have a gender identity that is partly girl. Then stick to the men's restroom. But a 'family restroom' is the best option if available. Side rant. Semi-Private gendered bathrooms are a terrible idea. The best design I've ever seen for public facilities was a bunch of porta potties with a public trough sink. Seriously, why can't we have fully private non-gender specific toilets, and a public sink in the hallway to access them? Any crime other than drug use would be obvious. The safety of such an arrangement would be better. And you never have to worry about running out of stalls in a gendered restroom, when the restroom isn't gendered. It baffles me.
I know what's like to be in that kind of moment where you have to choose to go in a girls bathroom and a boys bathroom but you can choose the boys bathroom they wouldn't mind
I would go with your biological gender. If you're look like a woman, then just explain it to anybody that asks. If people stare, that's what you want if you're wearing a maid outfit to a cosplay fest
i regularly attend cosplay events dressed as men or women (i'm nonbinary) and with my femboy boyfriend who also will dress as a woman. the real answer is: whichever you feel safest in.
Men even when i look more “femme”. Ill just be like “sup bro” to anyone that stares
I've been mistaken so many times , the labels stopped having meaning to me. I just use the one that's open/has no line.
The girl's bathroom you'll most likely find very annoying Karen's. You're well in the men's bathroom. You can assert your dominance.
avoid complications just go in the males bathroom
Go in the men’s room. It’ll be funny to see dudes get a confused boner when they’re using the urinal next to you :)
Do you know the cartoon "mens bathroom on Cosplay/animie convention"?
Whichever you feel safest. No matter how femme, I use the mens. Never had any issues. And as has been said, a little gender presentation mixup is kinda expected at cosplay events.
The shorter line
Okay, in this case, you in Maid seems similar to me in bikini, which is when I did not see a point in going to the gents'. Just be polite, don't bother anyone, and without urinals, there is more privacy overall, so who is to tell for sure?
I'd see if there are some family/disabled/all abilities/etc toilet facilities to use if you're completely on the fence when you arrive. Other than that, I'd gauge the crowd & see how welcoming they are. Women's bathrooms, everyone gets their own lil cubicles, unless there's a line up, you're not going to be able to be noticed by many people as it's simply, in the door, straight to a cubicle. Out the cubicle via the wash basin & back out the door. Vs standing next to 3-15 guys at the row of urinals or walking past them to a free cubicle... personally I'd play it by ear on the day. If you're "a guy in a dress" "unpassable" etc, I'd go male/disabled toilet. If you're "passable" and comfortable, go the ladies. These are just my thoughts & at the end of it, I'd play it by ear on the day & judge the crowd personally. Either way, have fun 🙂
I think I would just own it and go in the men's.
Look for a unisex, possibly disabled toilet. Usually at least a few wheelchair or baby changing toilets that are unisex.
I’d say men’s bathroom because in all honesty 85% of men don’t care about that age it’s a toilet we go there ahit and piss unless is boomer hillbilly but most woman wouldn’t like it
Your a femboooyyyyy. Go to the mens. Girls get girls room
Your going to a cosplay festival just use the men’s there gonna be many other cosplayers and think this way just have the thought that I don’t know these people and they don’t know me so why would I be embarrassed or shy I openly express myself irl and online once your in that mindset you will have even more freedom and less stress at Least that’s how I feel
It’s a cosplay event, you’ll be fine in the men’s bathroom
Ez answer if you have male genitals then go into the male bathroom duh
I would say man's bathroom. Guys couldn't careless who enters the bathroom
Bro, there are so many dudes that cosplay in maid outfits and even some other female outfits at cosplay events, your almost definitely not gonna be the only one doing it. But you should use the men's cuz if you use the women's and someone realizes your a guy, you could get kicked out of the event, or even get charges. So I recommend using the men's. And I also include that recommendation for trans ppl that haven't been on the opposite gender hormones long enough and still have features that make you still be easily noticed as your bio gender. Just to avoid legal problems, and avoid causing someone to panic, like a woman seeing someone they think is a man in the women's wouldn't go well at all. But if you have been on hormones for a good long while and especially if you have had the surgery(s) done, I'd say it may be fine to use your transitioned genders bathrooms. I'm not against trans or anything, but there are still laws and stuff that need to be worked out for these types of things. I also think ppl that claim to be trans women just to use the women's bathroom are more common than many ppl think, so if you don't look like a woman, I wouldn't suggest trying to use the restroom, (same for trans men) but especially if you see a kid walk into the bathroom, with or without a parent as that could easily end up very bad with accusations and stuff cuz of how some chomo'shave been caught faking being trans to do bad things
Where are you in the hon spectrum? Using washrooms safely ultimately depends on whether you're passing or not
Use the bathroom that you identify as if allowed, and don’t worry about what other people think, you’ll likely never see them again and if you did they probably wouldn’t recognize you. It takes 2 to 3 run ins with someone to be able to confidently recognize them especially after seeing them in different outfits.
OK so everyone else clearly live in very safe places (not a criticism) I'm not a femboy but I have crossdressed and was very close to having the shit kicked out of me by multiple midle age men if i hadnt immediately left the bathroom and the pub, and im 6 4 and built like a fridge. The women's bathroom is a much safer place to b in, some random woman being uncomfortable for the 2 minutes is much better than u being beaten up by fascists
If you piss like a girl use the girls if you piss standing then you have to use the men's bathroom... Common decency to not piss on toilets that women generally keep cleaner because they usually sit properly is good enough reason to overcome your anxiety and keep to the males bathroom and if you miss trying to lift the dress or skirt in a way to avoid pissing on it while standing you aren't the only one and not as much of an asshole as long as you still lift the seat up to piss standing
Piss was referenced a lot here...
😳😳😳
When in doubt, get the catheter out
Women
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???? a better method would be to simply use the men's if their gender identity is male, which dicks are not the determiner of.