Thats really rough, i wouldnt consider that very healthy because its pushing you constantly to be more feminine and probably heightening insecuities you already have. a bf should accept every part of you and reassure you rather then shying away from the parts they dont find attractive.
He does accept me for who I am and he says he loves all parts of me not just the feminine. It’s just that I can’t help but think his brain is subconsciously shying away from the masculine parts of me :(
Yeh I’ve spoken to him and he says that preferring girls and loving me aren’t mutually exclusive. And I get that, I’m bi too. But idk just the way he worded it before and the fact he changes the subject when I bring up masculine hobbies and stuff. Just makes me feel a bit off
The second part here is where I completely agree with you and see the issue. He can say he loves and desired you for who you are but his actions are not reflecting that in that regard. He's flat out ignoring you and that's negligence. You deserve someone who embraces you! 🩷💛🩷💛🩷💛🩷
But I don’t wanna be loved despite being a boy. I wanna be loved regardless and being a boy is just a fact about me. I’m just scared that one day I’ll experience twink death and be much less feminine and then he won’t love me anymore :(
If you did then you'd know that some femboys (not saying all) know that they're a guy and just like being fem, other femboys will feel a lot different and more dysphoric towards it. I was one of the latter femboys who wanted to be more comfortable as a woman than as a man.
I'm sorry dude but you aren't correct. Also I don't think OP going to HRT would make the relationship better and we don't know if they're comfortable going down that route or not.
No medical discussion.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/feminineboys) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I prefer effeminate men, but all my partners are masc. even my T-Boyfriend is masc.
Preference is just what makes you pleased visually and perhaps sexually.
But it seems like there may be some issues here that can only be solved with an honest talk about love and intimacy.
Talk to him, explain your feelings and then you’ll know how you both feel.
As a bisexual who prefers women to men, I make sure to reassure my male partner at every moment but I don't do it through reminding him that despite being into girls more, I chose him, no, that makes him feel like a second option. Be honest with your partner and ask him how he feels. Truth of the matter is he may prefer women but he really, really likes you. But it would be really upsetting if he was shying away from your true self and only seeing your times of femininity and I hate to break it to you , that's a unconditionally loving relationship you'd have there
Honestly talk with him, you should always feel comfortable to dress how you like, and if your dressing for him it should always make you happy, not a feeling of doing it to make him happy only. But that goes to everything, your fears are not unfounded, and every emotion the human experiences is warranted, it’s not until you talk about these feelings with your partner will you understand for yourself how you feel about the situation. Its not for him to fix it either, feelings we learn are sometimes to be amended or fixed so it doesnt bring ourselves and others down. But how do you understand this feeling until you understand if talking with your partner will help for you to be able to work through what you’re experiencing. It’s almost when we laugh at wine testers who take a glass and wave the scent to their nose, tilt the glass to the light and observe, take a sip but then purses their lips together and swishes the wine around their mouth, letting it rest before they swallow. We laugh at the process until that same individual tells you a season date and year, if the berries were harvested early or later time, how long they were aged, the process they went through, and perfectly describe a warm spring wine chateau with winters last frost in the fields of canada for a white wine picked in the early morning with hints of rose and chamomile for a fruity melancholy flavor. In order to understand how your feeling, no matter how you feel about it, whether it should be warranted or not, perhaps you should explore the feeling to understand it best. Communication is like any wine process, you’ll know if the feelings are good or bad depending on the sour burnt after taste or the fruity spring after taste.
That's a hard one, like I definitely have preferences myself and the partner I'm with currently is NOTHING I felt I'd be attracted to however I fell in love, and we've been together for 8 years, and I couldn't be happier
sometimes we "settle" for what our heart wants, I don't know how old you are but I'm 27 currently as is my partner and he isn't necessarily into femme type characteristics, however he said on me it looks....well I won't repeat verbatim but he's very happy with how I can make myself look,
he's being honest with you which means he cares about you and I wouldn't think that you're doomed to fail just based on those things but if you're really young and haven't done a whole lot yet it might be good to see what's out there just for yourself
whatever happens I want you to remember that you shouldn't ever feel wrong for just being yourself, and that anyone who tries to dilute your personality isn't really there for you and probably doesn't deserve your beautiful soul.
Communicate your feelings with your bf. Honest communication is the pillar of any relationship. I'm sorry he said that, tho, but to be sure about your relationship, you need to talk to him open and honestly. Those hurt feelings are valid, especially if he does act distant when you act more masculine. Please, for the love of love, talk to your bf
Yeah, being told someone likes just parts of you hurts a fuckin ton. It's definitely not an overreaction. You should probably talk it out, ask him if he sees himself accepting you for you. Communication, especially in cases like these, is absolutely neccesary. Best of luck to both of you.
Love isn't a pretty thing for movies. It takes work. He loves you for you. Don't leave a good thing over your own insecurities. There is a reason he chooses to stay with you. Work on this relationship and try to see what he sees in you thar makes him stay. You might bring stuff to the table you don't even realize. That will definitely boost your confidence and self worth.
See ya I get that and that’s what I’m thinking. What I’m worried about most is when we get older.
I’m 21 and twink death is looming, there’s no issues rn cause he likes me rn, but I’m worried when I get to like late 20s and can’t present as femme as I can rn that he might lose interest or at the very least, attraction :(
I think most girls look/act more masculine nowadays than some boys. Like femboys. So even though I'm straight I think femboys are more feminine than girls find far cuter.
your feelings are valid we are humans we feel diffrent things than and think diffrent things just have a talk with him couse that is what people in healthy relationship do and find a sulotion for both of you weather it is you becoming more feminie or him accepting this and this both can go right in a healthy relationship
Your feeling a 100% valid hun im sorry your going through that and honestly if he can’t handle your feminine and masculine and love you for you it might just not be your person, and that’s alright not saying you should break up or anything but if he is making you feel insecure for being yourself he might not be your person<3 /pos
I'm sorry to hear that and I think you are not overreacting and I think most of people would feel the same in that situation. I think you should ask him and talk about that you feel like he's not interasted that much anymore or something, I wish you all best.
I'd say you're jumping to conclusions. Just cuz he typically goes for cis girls doesn't mean he only likes his girls. Plus, the fact that he's even with you means he likes you, right? I'd sit him down and talk to him about it and work through it. I'm sure he didn't mean to make you feel insecure or unloved :3
Your feelings are valid and understandable. When I came out to my friends, I didn't get the unconditional acceptance that I was hoping I would. Instead, I was "accepted" out of their desire to maintain a 15+ year-long relationship, despite some of them hating lgbt+ people.
At first, I was happy to salvage what I could from such a long relationship, but eventually, I realized that I was never going to feel comfortable around them again if that's what they really thought of me. A part of me would always feel unwanted, and around the same time, I was making new friends who accepted me effortlessly and unconditionally. Those people are so much more enjoyable to be around just because I never feel that anxiety with them.
My advice is, if you really can't shake that feeling of not being accepted completely, it might be time to consider new possibilities. There is absolutely someone out there who will love all of you and be happy to embrace both your masc and fem sides.
There is nothing wrong with you, and it's okay to feel the way you do. The connections we form and nurture are one of the most valuable things in life. There's no sense in pouring yourself into a connection that no longer feels right for you. It's worthwhile to feel like you're nurturing flowers instead of weeds.
Sad, but don't force yourself to change to become someone who you do not want to be. Do not change, aspecially your personality, for someone other (if you are not toxic or anything). Happy femboy friday :3
I like the mix of femininity and masculinity in everyone. I love tomboys and femboys. It's very cool to see someone who doesn't adhere to the traditional gender norms.
I would give it some time and in the meantime try to act some more masculine. If the relationship would go wrong after it unfortunately I would consider ending it as it could slowly destroy you from inside. You cannot be someone that you're not.
Your feelings are 100% valid. Unfortunately sometimes things just don’t go as planned.
To me it sounds as if your current boyfriend has some issues he needs to deal with.
Going forward, he needs to think about if this is the right situation for him. You are who you are, and that includes yours sometime masculine self.
Your feelings are valid but seems like you guys are not on the same wavelength about the topic maybe. Ask him how much the personality is important to him
It doesn’t sound like a quite healthy relationship. Honestly, I would tell him what you think and if it doesn’t for the two of you maybe that would be the best. Cause one feeling bad so the other doesn’t is not good, especially not over time.
I can understand your side of the situation well. See, while I'm a attracted to the femininity of people, I am attracted to men. The masculine trait they have male the feminine traits more appealing and apparent. Whereas when I see a woman with masculine traits it has the opposite effect on me. Not to say it disgusts me but rather its not what attracts me to a person.
You sound like an awesome femboy, be yourself and if he can't handle that, you deserve better
That's a massively dickish thing to say and I'd say a massive red flag... If he can't even shut up about a trivial thing that's unlikely to come up to spare your feelings, then I dunno if he's worth it.
Thats really rough, i wouldnt consider that very healthy because its pushing you constantly to be more feminine and probably heightening insecuities you already have. a bf should accept every part of you and reassure you rather then shying away from the parts they dont find attractive.
He does accept me for who I am and he says he loves all parts of me not just the feminine. It’s just that I can’t help but think his brain is subconsciously shying away from the masculine parts of me :(
Ah i see, have you tried talking to him about it? if you dont it will probably stick around as an insecurity.
Ah i see, have you tried talking to him about it? if you dont it will probably stick around as an insecurity.
Yeh I’ve spoken to him and he says that preferring girls and loving me aren’t mutually exclusive. And I get that, I’m bi too. But idk just the way he worded it before and the fact he changes the subject when I bring up masculine hobbies and stuff. Just makes me feel a bit off
The second part here is where I completely agree with you and see the issue. He can say he loves and desired you for who you are but his actions are not reflecting that in that regard. He's flat out ignoring you and that's negligence. You deserve someone who embraces you! 🩷💛🩷💛🩷💛🩷
Just transition
Bro what- Do you...do you realize how serious that is? You don't "just transition".
troon wanting others to be a fr3ak like them
[удалено]
Being rude
Honesty is preferable, and you being loved in spite of something you didn't choose, means you're great in other ways such that he loves you regardless
But I don’t wanna be loved despite being a boy. I wanna be loved regardless and being a boy is just a fact about me. I’m just scared that one day I’ll experience twink death and be much less feminine and then he won’t love me anymore :(
I think this is a worry you can bring up with him; communication is important and he should get what you mean by this argument
[удалено]
You clearly don't know what you're talking about and you shouldn't ever give trans people or femboys advice
I do, it’s not just a fashion trend for most of them, it’s their intrinsic ontological difference between the typical man
please stop, no more out of you
If you did then you'd know that some femboys (not saying all) know that they're a guy and just like being fem, other femboys will feel a lot different and more dysphoric towards it. I was one of the latter femboys who wanted to be more comfortable as a woman than as a man. I'm sorry dude but you aren't correct. Also I don't think OP going to HRT would make the relationship better and we don't know if they're comfortable going down that route or not.
No medical discussion. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/feminineboys) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I prefer effeminate men, but all my partners are masc. even my T-Boyfriend is masc. Preference is just what makes you pleased visually and perhaps sexually. But it seems like there may be some issues here that can only be solved with an honest talk about love and intimacy. Talk to him, explain your feelings and then you’ll know how you both feel.
As a bisexual who prefers women to men, I make sure to reassure my male partner at every moment but I don't do it through reminding him that despite being into girls more, I chose him, no, that makes him feel like a second option. Be honest with your partner and ask him how he feels. Truth of the matter is he may prefer women but he really, really likes you. But it would be really upsetting if he was shying away from your true self and only seeing your times of femininity and I hate to break it to you , that's a unconditionally loving relationship you'd have there
Honestly talk with him, you should always feel comfortable to dress how you like, and if your dressing for him it should always make you happy, not a feeling of doing it to make him happy only. But that goes to everything, your fears are not unfounded, and every emotion the human experiences is warranted, it’s not until you talk about these feelings with your partner will you understand for yourself how you feel about the situation. Its not for him to fix it either, feelings we learn are sometimes to be amended or fixed so it doesnt bring ourselves and others down. But how do you understand this feeling until you understand if talking with your partner will help for you to be able to work through what you’re experiencing. It’s almost when we laugh at wine testers who take a glass and wave the scent to their nose, tilt the glass to the light and observe, take a sip but then purses their lips together and swishes the wine around their mouth, letting it rest before they swallow. We laugh at the process until that same individual tells you a season date and year, if the berries were harvested early or later time, how long they were aged, the process they went through, and perfectly describe a warm spring wine chateau with winters last frost in the fields of canada for a white wine picked in the early morning with hints of rose and chamomile for a fruity melancholy flavor. In order to understand how your feeling, no matter how you feel about it, whether it should be warranted or not, perhaps you should explore the feeling to understand it best. Communication is like any wine process, you’ll know if the feelings are good or bad depending on the sour burnt after taste or the fruity spring after taste.
Include paragraph breaks. I ain't reading allat
Mood
doom
that's too much words too bad ain't reading allat
That's a hard one, like I definitely have preferences myself and the partner I'm with currently is NOTHING I felt I'd be attracted to however I fell in love, and we've been together for 8 years, and I couldn't be happier sometimes we "settle" for what our heart wants, I don't know how old you are but I'm 27 currently as is my partner and he isn't necessarily into femme type characteristics, however he said on me it looks....well I won't repeat verbatim but he's very happy with how I can make myself look, he's being honest with you which means he cares about you and I wouldn't think that you're doomed to fail just based on those things but if you're really young and haven't done a whole lot yet it might be good to see what's out there just for yourself whatever happens I want you to remember that you shouldn't ever feel wrong for just being yourself, and that anyone who tries to dilute your personality isn't really there for you and probably doesn't deserve your beautiful soul.
Communicate your feelings with your bf. Honest communication is the pillar of any relationship. I'm sorry he said that, tho, but to be sure about your relationship, you need to talk to him open and honestly. Those hurt feelings are valid, especially if he does act distant when you act more masculine. Please, for the love of love, talk to your bf
He a punk. I wanna date a femboy top (as a fellow femboy). He doesn’t get it.
Yeah, being told someone likes just parts of you hurts a fuckin ton. It's definitely not an overreaction. You should probably talk it out, ask him if he sees himself accepting you for you. Communication, especially in cases like these, is absolutely neccesary. Best of luck to both of you.
Love isn't a pretty thing for movies. It takes work. He loves you for you. Don't leave a good thing over your own insecurities. There is a reason he chooses to stay with you. Work on this relationship and try to see what he sees in you thar makes him stay. You might bring stuff to the table you don't even realize. That will definitely boost your confidence and self worth.
See ya I get that and that’s what I’m thinking. What I’m worried about most is when we get older. I’m 21 and twink death is looming, there’s no issues rn cause he likes me rn, but I’m worried when I get to like late 20s and can’t present as femme as I can rn that he might lose interest or at the very least, attraction :(
I think most girls look/act more masculine nowadays than some boys. Like femboys. So even though I'm straight I think femboys are more feminine than girls find far cuter.
Im so sorry abt that my bf did the excact same to.em
Sorry to hear you deserve better
your feelings are valid we are humans we feel diffrent things than and think diffrent things just have a talk with him couse that is what people in healthy relationship do and find a sulotion for both of you weather it is you becoming more feminie or him accepting this and this both can go right in a healthy relationship
Ain't a game without a joystick.
Lol
Your feeling a 100% valid hun im sorry your going through that and honestly if he can’t handle your feminine and masculine and love you for you it might just not be your person, and that’s alright not saying you should break up or anything but if he is making you feel insecure for being yourself he might not be your person<3 /pos
Whys he dating you if he prefers girls and doesn't like masculine people
You deserve better
Be you, and cut out those who try and prevent that
Ur my bf now
I'm sorry to hear that and I think you are not overreacting and I think most of people would feel the same in that situation. I think you should ask him and talk about that you feel like he's not interasted that much anymore or something, I wish you all best.
You are smart to know yourself. Not a good plan to change yourself for someone else. I tried that. Be authentically who you are.
Be a girl 👍
I'd say you're jumping to conclusions. Just cuz he typically goes for cis girls doesn't mean he only likes his girls. Plus, the fact that he's even with you means he likes you, right? I'd sit him down and talk to him about it and work through it. I'm sure he didn't mean to make you feel insecure or unloved :3
Your feelings are valid and understandable. When I came out to my friends, I didn't get the unconditional acceptance that I was hoping I would. Instead, I was "accepted" out of their desire to maintain a 15+ year-long relationship, despite some of them hating lgbt+ people. At first, I was happy to salvage what I could from such a long relationship, but eventually, I realized that I was never going to feel comfortable around them again if that's what they really thought of me. A part of me would always feel unwanted, and around the same time, I was making new friends who accepted me effortlessly and unconditionally. Those people are so much more enjoyable to be around just because I never feel that anxiety with them. My advice is, if you really can't shake that feeling of not being accepted completely, it might be time to consider new possibilities. There is absolutely someone out there who will love all of you and be happy to embrace both your masc and fem sides. There is nothing wrong with you, and it's okay to feel the way you do. The connections we form and nurture are one of the most valuable things in life. There's no sense in pouring yourself into a connection that no longer feels right for you. It's worthwhile to feel like you're nurturing flowers instead of weeds.
Sad, but don't force yourself to change to become someone who you do not want to be. Do not change, aspecially your personality, for someone other (if you are not toxic or anything). Happy femboy friday :3
I like the mix of femininity and masculinity in everyone. I love tomboys and femboys. It's very cool to see someone who doesn't adhere to the traditional gender norms.
I’d dump him and get a better boyfriend as he’ll probably end up cheating on you with a girl
I would give it some time and in the meantime try to act some more masculine. If the relationship would go wrong after it unfortunately I would consider ending it as it could slowly destroy you from inside. You cannot be someone that you're not.
Your feelings are 100% valid. Unfortunately sometimes things just don’t go as planned. To me it sounds as if your current boyfriend has some issues he needs to deal with. Going forward, he needs to think about if this is the right situation for him. You are who you are, and that includes yours sometime masculine self.
I mean then date me then femboys are the best
Probably nut clarity
Ur disgusting
I'm just saying haha
Your not over reacting
Your feelings are valid but seems like you guys are not on the same wavelength about the topic maybe. Ask him how much the personality is important to him
No your feelings are so valid. I have the same issues sometimes. Us femboys gotta stick together. You'll find someone perfect for you 😍
maybe he's not mentally ill now
Kill him ( jk not rlly only if u wanna tho)
tell the boy bye
It doesn’t sound like a quite healthy relationship. Honestly, I would tell him what you think and if it doesn’t for the two of you maybe that would be the best. Cause one feeling bad so the other doesn’t is not good, especially not over time.
I can understand your side of the situation well. See, while I'm a attracted to the femininity of people, I am attracted to men. The masculine trait they have male the feminine traits more appealing and apparent. Whereas when I see a woman with masculine traits it has the opposite effect on me. Not to say it disgusts me but rather its not what attracts me to a person. You sound like an awesome femboy, be yourself and if he can't handle that, you deserve better
Maybe it’s just not meant to be. Its fine to have preferences tho
Womp womp 🤷🏽♀️
Aren’t you just a ray of sunshine☺️
Ok
Gynesexual? A little bit of gyno! 😂
Dump him ASAP HES NO GOOD FOR YOU AND YOU DESERVE BETTER!
Woah slow down there jeez
He's an idiot
He's an idiot for being attracted to a certain demographic?
Yes I agree
How so?
Since when is it ok to insult or belittle people for their sexual preferences?
Bonk him >~<
That's a massively dickish thing to say and I'd say a massive red flag... If he can't even shut up about a trivial thing that's unlikely to come up to spare your feelings, then I dunno if he's worth it.
Leave him pls
drop that zero and get with a hero
Breakup 🗣️‼️🚨