What places are you getting the impression that trans people hate femboys and think they're racist? I've literally never gotten that impression at all.
May be good to disconnect for a bit. Sometimes the internet can feel tailor-made for us to see nothing but negativity.
It's twitter. I dig through the replies of these things and there will be comments such as "erase all femboys" with 100 likes and "the sooner we erase all femboys the better" all liked by trans people and big names in the trans community. Its everywhere, and the big names in the community either condemn us or say they dont care for us. It feels terrible and i just feel like the fact im expressing myself and being gay is seen as just a way to safisfy myself sexually as i go on a random bigotry spree. So many jokes flying around on how most femboys end up racist and some end up trans and then they get angry when someone says that isnt true. I feel like im being pushed away.
However i think youre right. A good break from the internet is probably what i need.
I'm sorry. I doubt it's news to you, but yeah Twitter is just such a toxic place for anyone and I don't think it reflects reality. It's easy to get caught up in the doomscrolling.At the end of the day, be true to yourself and don't let anyone dictate what your identity is and how it makes you happy.
I started off as a femboy before realizing I was trans, and I have a lot of respect for the boys out there like you challenging our shitty outdated gender roles. It's also silly to think that every femboy is just a future trans girl in denial. Again, I'm sorry about this and the shitty people out there.
That idea that feminine-ish guys are all closeted trans girls is what made me leave r/egg_irl
Great community, but I just didn’t like how any non-conforming guy or girl was pigeonholed as trans or enby.
I think it should be taken in context though. The memes in that subreddit are more in retrospect and many trans girls (like myself) started as femboys. Naturally their background will be similar to femboys so memes about their “signs” line up with being a femboy. They are effectively saying trans girls (though the memes are personal, not really in general) used to be feminine boys, not the other way around.
yeah, that egg shit is mad annoying. it especially sucks beecause if someone is actually closeted trans, coming out is a big deal & to have crowds of people yelling it around is really hard to deal with.
Yeah, I hate that subreddit because of that very reason.
r/egg_irl in a nutshell:
Cis male: ***behaves and/or dresses slightly feminine***
The sub: *"Wouldn't that make you TRANS?!"*
Please don't use "big names on twitter" to make up your mind about trans people. We are not a community that are represented by trans internet celebrities. Real-world interactions and communities are so much more meaningful and representative of trans people as a whole. Discourse on twitter is always more negative and exaggerated than anything happening in day to day life.
Ye im so sorry about that, This probably stems from my lack of experience with the trans community, i was being more ignorant than anything and just letting my paranoia get the better of me.
Thank you for realizing that! I hope you can also feel better knowing that many trans people ARE femboys so we are not totally separate communities either.
Try asking about femboys on a major transfem subreddit like r/MtF. It's been done before, and everyone that I've seen, and this is something I as a trans woman agree with, says that femboys are our allies and we should protect you and stuff. I mean, a lot of trans women were actually femboys for a while, I know I was.
The "big names" are sadly the one who yell the most but it doesn't represent us. its okay don't be sorry
I m just sadden that you are down because of these persons who are just mean in general
You don't need to apologise for that, they're not criticising you, or offended at you, they're mearly explaining that "big trans name" on twitter are not representative of the community as a whole.
You're not in the wrong here.
okay? twitter sucks. everyone already knows that. also plenty of trans people ARE femboys so like a lot of us also don't like whatever ridiculous discourse random people on twitter say.
Twitter is designed to get a rise out of you to keep you engaged with the content as often as possible. Simply click on the three dots -> Not interested in this tweet. problem solved.
100 people out of 7 billion on Earth is is 0.00000001%. A negligible amount.
Delete twitter. Seriously just delete twitter. It's a vile place meant to hurt you so you'll keep scrolling that tailor-makes feeds to distort your vision of reality and spark anger and conflict.
On Reddit, your feed is only subreddits you subscribe to. On Tumblr, your feed is only people you follow. You can curate your own experience and entirely avoid the vortex of bullshit that is guaranteed to swallow you in an algorithm-based system like most social media websites have, most notably Twitter's. Not saying they're great for you or anything, but Twitter is a lot worse.
Yeah that's you're problem. Get off Twitter lol. I kinda stung reading this cus I and multiple other people on this sub are trans or some other part of lgbt . I know I try to defend both sides when arguments over characters come up cus yeah trans rep is cool but not all characters who are gnc are trans .
There are always at least two sides to any community. The bad one is on twitter. If you meet people IRL that are trans or GNC or GLBT then that is your community. The idea that all of us are one community or even a few communities is just really convenient for people who can use that for some other end.
Twitter is not the place to edit positive vibes people who use Twitter are mostly 16-22 yearolds thinking there doing the right thing there not though (they really aren’t)
Idk most big names on twitter are criticizing the people who like to fetishize femboys and misgender trans people.
They are also criticizing the people that say x or y character can’t be trans because in the anime they are referred to thier agab.
This is mostly a non issue. Trans people and femboys on twitter interact mostly positively.
Posts like this only serve to try and wedge the communities apart
(Ie I am part of these communities on twitter)
Its Twitter.
I got called a racist for informing someone to wear a face mask on a train.
Confidentiality the person was black and had the typical twitter mindset.
What I want to say is that you shouldn’t care about twitter.
Yeah you're probably right. Sorry its just i couldnt help but feel like they had a genuine distaste for us because of some idealogies that the people who fetishise us tend to put onto trans people
I completely agree with that too. I don't think having something be a joke should discount how hurtful it is. I just think it would probably be better to see it as a joke rather than an actual though
Dude you're on Twitter, there are zoophiles and dreamsexuals there, and if you even have an opinion in Twitter, prepare yourself for a load of death threats..
I don't think you should use Twitter for posting things as it's a toxic place
Hang in there 🙏. Being fem isn't easy (I'm a full-time CD), we have a lot more support than you think! I don't know anything about trans persons rejecting fem boys, but I know it's very common in gay male circles (which are easily avoided), but even many of them support us.
But at the end of the day, I'm loved by the most important person: me! 💕
But I also have the love of God, my family, my friends, my coworkers, and my godparents.
I'm at a point in my self-care journey where I avoid things online that bring me down or disturb my peace.
I really think you should try it.
Oh! Nothing cheers you up like a manicure and a new pair of lashes 😍.
Hang in there love
1. Stay off Twitter, permanently. Honestly, it's horrible for mental health
2. All the racist femboys they are talking about are on Twitter. They are in a Twitter bubble and are setting their opinion of all femboys based on that handful.
3. If 100 people's opinion sets your opinion of the entire LGBTQ community, you are also in a Twitter bubble
4. PLEASE get off that shit site it is sooo bad I'm so happy I ditched it years ago.
If I were you I'd delete Twitter. The nice stuff isn't worth dealing with the negative shit for. I remember forgetting it existed for a week, then one day I checked it and instantly felt like shit again, that's when it hit me that Twitter was a problem for me and wasn't worth having
Yeah twitter is just a cesspit, don‘t take em seriously, it‘s a plattform built on toxicity and bullying. I‘ve seen the posts with them addressing femboys/tomboys as "eggs".
Dont act as if it doesnt happen because it does, i've seen it.
Hell, i've seen trans people pretending femboys are just trans people who cant accept themselves or some bullshit.
Shitty people exist in every community.
Hmm my experiences on r/egg_irl have been positive so far.
Lots of rather understanding people.
And those I know in reallife are all very positive towards femboys. One is even making an art-commision for me\^\^
Imso glad to hear that honestly. This is what i want to hear, granted the reason it relieves me so much may be because of some coping. But i am glad to hear that it isn't just a collective thought.
Twitter is kinda like that one kid who clearly whacks you, doesn't get told off. Then you slap it upside the head and all of a sudden *you're* the one in trouble.
It's fine if use it to follow people for their art (or other hobbies), then unfollow immediately once unpleasant things show up in your timeline. But I agree that you should absolutely not use it for anything more than that.
Don't take the opinions of redditors seriously, they're some of the dumbest people on the planet. Talk to any person in real life and you'll realize most people generally don't care about what you identify as, and will show you respect if you show it in return
Hey, trans woman here!
What you’re saying simply isn’t the case. Overwhelming trans people, and more broadly the LBGTQIA+ community, absolutely supports femboys and any other identities that follow under the GNC umbrella.
There are some people, like myself, that get sad when characters that very easily could have been written as trans are instead given a traumatic backstory that is tied to them being a femboy that they “need to overcome”.
But that is in no way calling femboy identities invalid. It’s simply a critique that many portrayals of femboys in anime and video games implicitly phrase gender nonconformity as a barrier to overcome, which harms peoples views of femboys. And then people apply those same principles to trans people to make them feel like they’re broken and need to just “overcome” being trans.
As someone who’s a very vocal and wide read advocate and member of the trans community, I PROMISE you that we support femboys. Anything that comes across as otherwise is just a product of dealing with transphobia (i.g. trans women don’t want to be called femboys because they’re not femboys, etc.)
So don’t let a small group of people on Twitter warp your perspective on the wider trans community. Many of us are former femboys (why can’t reddit change my name? lmao) and we just wanna support yall the same way yall support us! :3
Transfeminine person here. I love all of y'all femboys. I enjoy seeing you being able to express yourself and finding ways to be comfortable. You're helping rip down societal expectations of how someone is allowed to dress or act. Some of you have outfits and makeup that's so on point I'm jealous with how well you make it look good!
Please Don't hide who you are!
Please continue to dress in a way that makes you feel comfortable!
God it's tough but please keep putting good into the world, we'd be worse off if you left!
Hey, I’m a trans guy (ftm) and I love femboys and support them wholeheartedly. I also love trans women and the rest of the LGBTQ+ community. I’ve been involved in a lot of LGBTQ+ groups over the years, and overall (at least in my experience) I think there’s a lot more love and support for each other in these spaces than negativity. It can be much more positive than online spaces.
Keep in mind, social media and the internet is not real life. There are lots of online trolls posing as LGBTQ+ people and trying to spur up hate and infighting in the LGBTQ+ community. There are also bots trying to spread hateful propaganda.
I hope you can find spaces that feel accepting and supportive, both online and in person.
Twitter discourse is just bots and the terminally online screaming at each other in an endless loop over literally anything. If you're having fun, then that's all that matters. A stranger's anger isn't your problem and you shouldn't let them make you think it is.
Guilty Gear is cool, Bridget is cool, you're cool.
I am quite fond of femboys. I’m AMAB but my gender identity is demigirl so more often then not I’ll walk up to people and say “hey I’m aster trans demigirl femboy” and one could say it all applies ya know?
Probably gonna get downvoted to the floor because this but at least hear me out before downvoting. The LGBTQ community is full of great people but some of the smaller circles are really hostile and the reasonable people are often outspoken. I've been attacked for not having an extremist ideology and it's quite saddening.
I'm a trans person and I love the femboy community. I don't like the people who say that making a character in media is "femboy erasure" though.
If you want to talk to a trans person about this, I'm free.
Yeah, Twitter is the most negative space, I don't trust most stuff there to be unbiased or representative of communities large communities. I'm not a full femboy or anything, but one of my biggest supporters in doing a lot of more feminine styles is trans. Some people just have hate, but it's trust me, the LGBT+ community does not hate you. There will always be people with hate in their hearts, but the majority want you to express yourself and be you.
Sincerely,
A member of the LGBT+ community
I’m trans and I don’t hate you. I came to find my transness from first stumbling around here. I made a few friends here and still try to provide whatever help I can when I can.
WHAT!?! trans people love femboys, at least I do and plus many trans people used to be femboys before realizing they were trans, where are you getting this sure some do but that's always going to happen the thing is most don't and sometimes small groups can seem bigger if they are more vocal about their opinion
Fuck thoese shitty trans people, im trans and i 100% love that femboys exist :)
Trans people dont have a monopoly on gender expression everyone can and should express themselves how they want :)
Just remember theres always going to be shitty people in every group do your best to ignore them and look for the good people :)
Through the discourse about Bridget on Twitter I’ve seen some absolutely abhorrent takes somehow get thousands of likes, shit about how femboys aren’t a group of people that need representation in media, the femboy community apparently not being a real thing and based purely around a fetish, I’ve seen people say that femboys are a minority or marginalized in any way (despite numerous studies and lgbt orgs with evidence pointing to housing, workplace and social discrimination, higher likelihood of being a victim of violent crime, the very large number of posts in this very subreddit related to people being afraid of very serious social repercussions to their gender nonconformity, not to mention countries other than America where in some places gender nonconformity is full on banned) I’ve seen people say that femboys are “gas lighted into believing they are still cis-gendered” and that cishet femboys are all reactionary, but it’s like Idk at this point seeing someone pro-lgbt just out of nowhere spout the most anti-gnc shit imaginable doesn’t even catch me off my guard anymore. Remember a while ago saw a meme on Twitter that a bunch of people who I followed at the time liked and retweeted that said something like “feminine men have to be trans and it’s okay to push them to identify as such” and like I get that it’s a joke but it’s still a joke made specifically about invalidating gnc peoples identity’s, and when I saw a qrt explain how jokes like that are hurtful especially considering many gnc people have trauma specifically related to people invalidating their identity with their gender and then the top reply getting more likes to them was calling them an egg, after that happened and messed me up for a couple days I unfollowed a load of people and now very specifically moderate who I follow and interact with and stuff, but like in the end Twitter sucks, the internet in general sucks really, over my years being openly gnc on the internet across several social media I can’t say that Twitter is the worst there is at least. Honestly just try not to let negative shit on the internet get to you, and try not really to interact with it either. Algorithm does this thing where you start interacting with something l, even if you’re reacting negatively to it or are just simply on the page for a while it’ll start recommending you more shit that’s gonna make you feel worse, can get you going on a real downward spiral sometimes.
Something I do sometimes when shit on the internet getting me stressed is I just detach myself from the internet for a good few hours, sometimes i do meditation or journaling or stuff, sometimes it’s as simple as turning on airplane mode and playing single player games. It helps me, might help you
as a trans person, the loudest people on tiktok and twitter are who have a problem with you. look on discord and reddit and like a quarter of the trans girls used to identify as femboys before they realized it wasnt who they were, and theres femboys who used to identify as trans before realizing it just wasnt who they are. if one community pushes out another it just is a negative experience for everyone and trans and gender nonconforming people need each other because even though we are different both communities break standard gender norms and are attacked by similar people because of it
I really don't think this is true. As a trans person and a femboy, the spaces I've been that center around both groups tend to be very welcoming of the other. I think it's much more likely that you're just in toxic spaces.
I’ve never heard about people thinking we are racist but I have had trans people dm me some hateful messages for being a femboy and I’ve been called sexist by them too
Not to say anything on one side or the other, but I definitely *have* seen people calling femboys racists. There's a very common stereotype of all femboys being racists or Nazis.
Coming from a femboy - now trans woman, i dont hate femboys at all, it just makes it very hard for both sides to coexist because generally dumb ppl with confuse and demean both sides because they both exist, i feel like men having femininity is great! I just know that the line between femboy and trans is VERY thin and i wish there were more ppl enforcing the fact that we're different
Hang in there.... be who you are and rest can kiss your as*...Life is a bowl you come into life with it empty. You put in it what you want. You want good it fills with good and if bad tgen tge sams occurs.
Do you like you, that is what matters. Most people know who they are and where they are headed. You need to find that spot yourself.
Never mind looking for others approvals and or being alone. Sometimes when your not looking mr.right will fall on your lap or if lucky you'll fall on his 😉.
I don't see how the trans community doesn't like femboys. Most love and understand femboys because a ton of trans girls were former femboys.
I'm a Femboy who realized I was actually trans, and people are welcoming on both sides, find the good people! 🥰
As a nonbinary bisexual I get this feeling, it sucks to feel like both straight and gay people seeing my sexuality as fake, and both cis and binary trans people thinking my gender is fake. I guess in the same way that I don't want people to make assumptions about me I don't want to make assumptions about them though because I have straight, gay, binary trans, and cis friends who all accept me so on an individual level. I definitely know not all people don't believe in my existence.
Thank you, it's honestly nice to be reminded. I know im valid. I just also know a lot of people have a problem with my existence and as a person that has to exist in public and society it sucks to know people are around me thinking this stuff all the time. It's definitely a scary part of having a nonbinary transition because I know the more I come to to look like my self the more I put my life/future in danger.
As a person who is probably going to transition i totaly get what you are talking about. with all the recent controversy with the charachter I honestly get both sides but don’t get the amount of hate towards each other. I mean it’s a person that doesnt exist from a fictional game and people act like their life’s depend on whether or not they win the argument.
yeah I know I’m bad at English not sorry
I completely agree, and I've felt the same way!
FTR #1:
To the people that are telling OP to just "go outside and find people". It's not that easy! In my experience i pretty much have to remain closeted to pretty much everyone. People like me are pretty much only left with the option to go online where we can find EXACTLY the right community that you want. Now idk the OP but I'd bet they are in a similar situation than me. There's a level of anonymity in the internet so people will generally speak what they actually feel. For example if i met a Twitter user that is trans and heavily preaches against femboy culture in real life. I would bet that the person likely would not antagonize me as a femboy in front of my face because in the situation we have more in common than the environment around us. But in internet discourse since you can find more people SPECIFICALLY alligned with you to the exact detail then they are more likely to antagonize people who aren't. That's just basic human interaction idk why I went off Abt it but you get what I mean.
FTR #2:
OP stated they were generalizing! I've met a bunch of people that thought it was cool that in a femboy whether they were straight, lgbtq and whatever in-between.
The thing is, when I've personally interacted with specifically the transfem community to i assume that i have a lot in common. But that's not the case. I get this like "you can't sit at our table" vibe or the opposite where I'm being forced into being trans. I was pretty much gaslit (by someone i considered an actual friend) to thinking i was trans and i didn't know it. Like i would "grow out of it" or that me wanting to be a feminine guy made no sense.
It was quite disheartening since I was pretty much solid in my identity at that point. And the worse thing is as i browse communities, etc, i see that same retoric to be pretty common! If you don't believe me then pls look closely more closely before disregarding it as unimportant.
If you want a specific example, a big one is that the literal word "femboy" is considered a fucking slur to a chunk of the trans community. Or maybe that they think femboy is the fetishization of trans people. As a literal person, that is super dehumanizing!
And i actually thought everyone that was trans to be super brave and I admired them, i rly do. I made friends and rly cool people. But it's a shame that I'm just afraid to interact with the trans community.
If i had to quantify my experiences I'd say like 25-35% of trans folk I've met either indoctrinate me to be trans or regarded me as transphobic or against their cause.
if i had to rlly gauge where I've seen this kinda dumb baby nonsense would be in like MTF advice channels or accs and similar stuff to this.
TLDR:
As a femboy, a lot of the time we aren't accepted in cis spaces (which is like, whatever) but we aren't accepted in LGBTQ spaces either because of this complex that has been label into femboys. Cuz we are like expected to be gay or transfem and expected to be hypersexualized and it's not like there's a community of femboys either cuz femboy as a concept is very complicated...
Bruh i just wanna wear my gfs clothes, there's too much nonsense going on everywhere smh
Sorry if this text is absolute nonsense i lost my train if thought halfway thru this.
Did you don't want others to incorrectly generalize about your group, don't incorrectly generalize about others' groups
LGBTQ community as a whole adores femboys, please try to take a different perspective on this: you've been seeing a place where LGBTQ people have only seen the racist femboy places, so you therefore think all LGBTQ people think this, and they think all femboys think *that*. Now if we all took a step back here, we'd realize neither of these things are true and we're generalizing about millions of people based on a handful of comments on Reddit. Quite a silly thing to do friend. <3
Dude as a trans femboy we do not dislike femboys. A lot of trans people (including me to an extent) are a bit uncomfortable around cis femboys and cis femboy-likers because it can bridge into weird fetishization, even though there are 1000% respectful cis femboys and femboy-likers. Just as a lot of trans gays, for example, are a bit sus of cis gays because they tend to center their oppression and ignore our experiences (ex- cis queers freaking out over "gay rights being next" after the roe v wade shit when trans rights have been under attack months before, years before, and they said nothing. Yk. That.)
I get your point but I don't want to talk about this. You don't have to take all of this just for you and think that you are guilty for that !! Don't ruin your mental health for something you didn't commit please, you are talking abt killing yourself this is serious. Please don't take all of those drama on you ! It's not your fault if some people have bad habit! Even tho they maybe identify the same has you, you don't have to assume what they do ! So please don't think about killing yourself especially for something your didn't commit.
(Hope you understand my English is awful)
>Don't ruin your mental health for something you didn't commit please,
It's hard to do that when people make such broad generalizations that you end up being included in something you are not a part of. I understand where you're coming from and I agree, but reshaping your thinking process to acknowledge the fact that you have nothing to do with it is pretty hard. What OP should do is uninstall Twitter. I used to be in that same situation, but when I uninstalled Twitter, my life started to gradually become better. I'm not saying that only good things happened to me, but I certainly started viewing myself less negatively.
Gonna be honest, I'm kinda in the same boat as you. All day I've been seeing people constantly shitting on femboys for this reason or the other all over some character I've literally never heard of before. It's seriously fucked up my day and I don't blame you for being upset or mad.
I know there are a lot of really great people out there, particularly trans women, who support us fully. But it's difficult to find them to say the least
First time I met a trans girl irl, they asked me if I was a cross dresser and called me a fa**ot funniest thing ever.
Look people are either awful or nice there are millions of people and guess what no one cares about what you do yh they may think it’s weird okay cool.
They just aren’t important to you go make new friends if your alone socialise, Ik it’s hard god I don’t even talk to people cause I’m terrified. But it is easy if each party wants to communicate never force yourself or your interests on others. People who want to be friends with you will show interest in who you are.
Worse comes to worse you literally have the internet where people who are like you are around. These labels people use all the time are pain all they deffo is create Barriers. At least that’s my opinion I don’t think labels matter but I’m very accepting
Making generalizations about groups of people based on what you read on Twitter, especially after a controversy just happened is prolly not the best play.
I'm sorry you're in the dumps right now but I can guarantee that most of us at worst, don't care and would want you to be able to live however you wish.
Right now is probably the worst time to come to a conclusion like this, there are so many bad actors without a horse in the game coming out the woodwork to spew shit, like I've been told to go hang myself 10+ times in the past 2 days. It's just not worth paying attention to, take a break from Twitter.
They're trying to pit us against each other but I love you and hope you feel better soon
I think it's only a minority tho. I may be a little biased (cus I was a femboy for a while) but I love you guys! This community is just awesome except for a couple rotten apples, just like in the trans community! Don't beat yourself up, if they don't appreciate you as you are or push their own beliefs of what you are on to you, they don't deserve you anyway :)
Stay strong <3
Hey! As someone who is an egg, you're 100% accepted and valid. Go live your happiest life and do whatever you want to do so long as you don't hurt others.
There's definitely going to be weird people everywhere, and I agree with other commenters that disconnecting a bit is probably a good idea to reorient a bit.
it's ok to feel this way, not being accepted by a community you generally support sucks, but if that's your experience, that's your experience, I just hope you know it doesn't reflect on the entirety of the community, or even most of it
Would a genuine hug from someone wanting to share that expression make you feel better? Maybe, just a little? My heart sympathize with your pain and you are welcome to it… don’t give up, please.
This has never been my experience. I am active in trans communties online, and of the few trans people I know in real life (possibly including myself), neither group has a wide reaching issue with femboys, as far as I can tell.
Bro if anyone is offended by this let them because as I see it the ones who do get offended are the aholes who think we’re sex trolls all because they have nothing better to do in there life then make assumptions about other people even know they are the sex trolls.
Edit: also thank you for bringing this out, I have been thinking on how to tackle this for a while, should I do ads or post about it, these were the thoughts I mainly had but then you brought this out, I feel like things are going to get more public from here on. Thx
I get it, I'm a trans man but like to go out in femboy every once in a while, not femboy enough to look female, but enough to look andro or something. The amount of hate I see when people see me as a trans man and then going out in a crop top and skirt or something...
First off, please join a community of femboys. Communities exist, even on discord. You do not need to be alone.
Second, I have a long list of trans friends and not one has any animosity towards femboys.
Please let me know if I can help you.
Hey bro, this shit must be rlly difficult yeah but you might've fell into a toxic rabbit hole of shitty people or something like that bcs ive never in my life heard trans people saying stuff like that about femboys. You are totally valid and dont deserve to go trough this shit
trans girl here: just know that you’ll find a lot of hate online regardless of the topic. I think femboys are awesome and I love seeing people be themselves, especially if societal norms n whatnot make that harder. You’re probably just hearing a small hateful group that happens to be the loudest, because I don’t understand why someone would hate another group of people for no reason, especially if they face similar struggles. Just remember that anyone who doesn’t love you for who you are isn’t worth your time or energy, because there are people out there who will love you for who you are (even if finding them can seem hard rn).
Honestly, just ditch Twitter. So much shit gets stirred up there and all the negativity isn’t healthy. I’m really sorry that you’ve been exposed to all those hateful comments. I promise they’re just a minority. Most of us are pretty cool with femboys.
Listen, it sounds like you’re digging through twitter. You can find people just spouting ridiculous beliefs on there and it’s easier to find people the more ridiculous their views. Level headed people aren’t gonna hate you for being a femboy. Reading those opinions shouldn’t make you feel unloved and unaccepted because love and acceptance matters when it comes from people important to you. It’s good that you’re venting but I want you to know that things can seem like a way bigger deal than they are sometimes. Other peoples opinions of you don’t actually mean shit in their own right. Let alone random people on the internet’s opinions about a group that you so happen to be a part of. You define who you are and your worth.
I think this is something you run into more online. I am a trans woman, and have a decent sized group of trans friends, and we are all of the opinion that femboys are awesome.
I'm glad i'm not the only one who felt like this when i saw it on my timeline, which is a shame cause i'm so happy my main is back in the game
I think its just the current bridget discourse is bringing out the worst in people and its a hot topic, give it a week or to and this will have blown over. Twitter will forget and the bridget tag will just go back to cute fan art
Lgbt communyties are hiding (or not) an incredible amount of ostracism. Not every community, everytime, but I'm Always surprised to see people suffering from stupid people, becoming exactly the same, sometimes even worse. There is mostly adorable people (femboy communities are the best ❤️) but Still some lost one waiting for justice warriors time (the truth is they just want to take their revenge on innocent unknown and far away people)
Twitter is a garbage dump, it’ll probably be good to get away for a bit. And trans Twitter discourse by no means represent real trans people and communities. I’m trans and love femboys and I’ve literally never gotten the impression from anyone that they hate femboys. If anything we should celebrate you for going outside of gender norms and being your true self.
Just saw below where ya said its twitter. Twitter is the part of the sewer where even the shit doesnt wanna go. Twitter is just the worst. Saw a heartwarming post on FB about the little league world series where a kid hit a batter in the helmet with a pitch that put him on the ground for a while. The pitcher was so upset he was struggling on the mound. The kid who got his walked over from first base to give him a hug and tell him You are doing just fine. One of the best cases of sportsmanship Ive seen lately. Twitters response? Nothing but mockery. Disgusting.
Something you gotta realize about the world is that everyone is an individual, regardless of what groups they associate with. Yes, there are people from all sections of society that dislike us, just like how there are people from every group that hate transgender people and the like (trans rights btw I don’t want my message to be misinterpreted). However, that doesn’t mean the majority of any given group hates femboys. The silent majority doesn’t care much, most people say ‘do what you like, just don’t infringe on others rights’
The best thing you can do is just ignore them, no matter who they are. Femboys, and everyone for that matter, can dress, act, and exist the way they want, as is part of life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness.
Edit: yeah I’ve been reading other comments and reddit doesn’t necessarily have the best opinions. Just do what you like, dress the way you want, you’re not hurting anyone else. Women used to wear dresses as a societal norm before 2nd wave feminism in the 1960s-80s, they fought society to wear pants. Maybe men wearing dresses or something similar would be the next big thing.
Hey, they can't control you, and you're not alone. Pretty sure Trans who are like that don't believe in non-binary or other genders either. They like to mess with people but they don't know how strong and nice this community is, your always welcomed in here
Well, I for one am trans and love my femboys ( I identified as one for 20 years). There are people who want to exclude me from the trans community because I don’t plan to have srs, there are terfs who seek to entirely exclude trans people from the feminist and gay rights movements:
Fuck ‘em
Don’t listen to people like that, just do you and don’t change yourself because some assholes are going to hate you.
Shit, trans women hate femboys now? Dang, I'll have to tell my girlfriend. She'll be so sad about having to dump me.
(A few people online are deranged enough to say stuff like "the femboys should just come out as trans already!!!" but most trans people I know are very friendly towards gender-nonconformity.)
I mean this in the nicest way possible. Go outside. I’m honestly getting sick of this
“all I’ve seen towards me is toxicity and hatred”
“Where’d you look”
“Twitter”
Are you serious? As a trans gal I don’t appreciate this idea that “we” hate femboys because that’s the impression some toxic cesspool of a website gave you of an entire group of people. Would you like it if my entire perception of how you felt was shaped by what I saw from femboys on 4chan?
Im very sorry for putting an entire community under one roof just based on these experiences, but it felt like more of a gradual build up of me being obsessed over looking into femboy hate all across the internet rather than me just getting it all from twitter alone.
Even then though saying the word internet probably proves your point on how i probably shouldnt be basing my thoughts on people who speak for themselves.
Again i am sorry that i was so quick to assume things about you and the people like you, i really was just consumed by this sick feeling in my stomach that came up in this overwhelming feeling of stress that i just vented about it in the most blatant way i could. I hope that i don't come across as too presumptious, i was stuck in a state of panic that still hasn't gone away just yet.
As someone who deals with the usual death threats, groomer, predator, rapist, and pedophile accusations, calls to off myself, and every manner of dysphoria inducing hate speech under the sun that comes with the trans experience, we aren’t your enemies here. Shitty people exist everywhere and on basically every one of these websites there’s an algorithm that propels content meant to make you mad/upset/hopeless, whatever strong emotion to you repeatedly for the sake of riling you up and getting more clicks. There are harmful generalizations made about femboys floating all over the internet, and there are shitty people in every group ofc queer, gnc or otherwise. Not to be insensitive, but that type of hate and ignorance will pretty much always exist, in every group, just look at transmedicalists and terfs! The best thing you can do besides educating people around you, is just carrying on with your life. Curate your online experience so you’re not delving into digital self harm, surround yourself, online especially, with people that support you and(most importantly) are capable of the critical thinking required to realize that we’re all each other’s ally’s. And besides, wayyy more queer people would rather support you and your self expression than hate you over a goddamn videogame character tf
Hey im sorry you fell on some awful voices on twitter, and I know that can make things be tough. In reality tho the vast majority of the trans community supports and respects femboys and other GNC people. Especially transfemmes since many of them used femboy spaces to explore themselves and are still attached to the culture of them. There also has been an uptick in transmasc people who present as femboys and therefore even cause a crossover of the communities. Check out r/ftmfemininity (I don’t remember the correct spelling) if you wanna know about that. And from my personal opinion, femboys are wonderful, valid and I wish they would find more acceptance in society
Im literally a trans femboy if people hating on you making you feel unwelcome im here to say u valid I understand the desire to dress feminine but still identify as male
The loudest people are the smallest minority. Plus trolls intentionally stirring shit. From experience, trans people love all forms of gender expression.
Please don’t apologize for offending someone. You’re just talking about a group of assholes so if they’re offended then that’s on them. It’s true that much of the more radical transgender supporters and persons dislike femboys because the idea goes against their beliefs. To fully understand this you have to understand what they espouse, it is a widely held belief in at least the more publicly known sphere of transgender culture that if one is inclined towards actions more traditional of the opposite gender then they are the opposite gender. They usually confuse gender and temperament, however many advocates of transgenderism also do not believe in gender stereotypes. The way they most commonly explain this is that gender is simply a way of marking and recognizing someone’s identity, that gender is at the same time paramount and almost completely useless. The most common reason for transgender individuals to dislike femboys is that they believe if you act feminine you therefore the opposite gender and if you say no then you’re neglecting your true identity. Please don’t kill yourself, many people worked their fucking ass of to keep you alive and in well enough condition to post something on Reddit. Strangers don’t like you online? Don’t give a shit. You have no friends? Fuck friends. You aren’t accepted by others? So fucking what. The culture is against you? Change it. Society is ass? Then live long enough to make your change. Just, please don’t die. There are definitely people who care about you, some strangers online being annoying should not make you lose faith in those you love. Not everyone at every corner hates you, that might have been the case 30 years ago but not now. There’s an entire community behind you and all of us femboys. I think that the LGBTQIA2S community saying that femboys are sexualized losers is quite hypocritical. If some edgy kid said some shit I would take it personally and beat his ass. Also not all conservative dislike femboys, most of them don’t give a shit and just don’t like trans people. Stay well, focus on yourself.
If that's what you see from trans twitter you're digging in a pretty bad spot. I, as a part of trans twitter, have seen predominantly positivity, with most criticism being directed at right wingers who don't like that Bridget is a girl now.
Femboy and trans discourse can be tricky to navigate, and I also don't doubt that there are some trans people who have used this as an opportunity to harp on femboys, but don't be fooled.
Femboys are an integral part of the trans and lgbtq community as a whole. Trans women, trans men and trans nonbinaries have consistently been supportive of femboys and will continue to be supportive of them.
The things some upset people say on the internet don't define you and they're certainly not something to throw your life over!
Just take a deep breath and take a break from twitter. It'll be ok.
Any trans person who dislikes femboys in general are hypocritical idiots. I'm transfem and I love femboys, because you guys not only are super cute, but you guys help me. Many things I learnt early on in my transition and even recently has been from femboys. Additionally, femboys are arguing for the same thing trans people want, the destruction of strict gender roles to allow anyone to identify and present however they want.
Im trans. I really like femboys. People who just break gender roles with the way they dress and live their lives like that.
I am really uncomfortable with crossdressing people however. With that I mean guys that just dress like women for fun on weekends and never do it if they don't go out eating or to a party or whatever. I'm not even sure why, I just really don't like that.
The Bridget stuff really brought out the worst of people.
Transphobes crying that she is a woman now,
Weebs screaming that "it does not fit the lore",
Trans woman being mad at both former groups and somehow bashing femboys for it,
And femboys screaming they lost their representation.
Like I get it's exiting to see actual Trans woman in anime, but God damn.
i’m trans and i love femboys and still kinda think of myself as one, you guys are great and i’ve literally barely ever heard anything negative towards femboys in the community
I know a lot of it was mostly just attacking back towards the people that wanted bridget to remain femboy and saying its femboy genocide. A lot of trans people still like and support femboys they just don’t like the bigotry when they are said to be forcing femboys to be trans is all
Most of the negative comments are probably from RW troll farms run by very sexually conflicted and frustrated people that actually get off to trans/sissy/femboy/gay content, which is how they came to those forums and sites in the first place. That said...
The world is becoming a bitchier place, but that's more online than in person. In reality, most people are just trying to get on with their lives.
And there's nothing wrong with being alone for a while. Take that time to know yourself. They say it takes being comfortable with your own company before you can truly be comfortable with another, if relationships are your issue. But it sounds more like you're taking on all that emotional garbage that the internet is full of.
You'll be fine, but for goodness sake, take a break from social media. If there's specific forums or sites that you know you'll be safe (here?) then stick to them. But cut all the crap off. You don't need that darkness- it needs You.
xx
What places are you getting the impression that trans people hate femboys and think they're racist? I've literally never gotten that impression at all. May be good to disconnect for a bit. Sometimes the internet can feel tailor-made for us to see nothing but negativity.
Yeah I’m curious where OP got this from. I’ve never heard of a trans person hatin femboys. Ffs a lot of trans girls are former femboys myself included
It's twitter. I dig through the replies of these things and there will be comments such as "erase all femboys" with 100 likes and "the sooner we erase all femboys the better" all liked by trans people and big names in the trans community. Its everywhere, and the big names in the community either condemn us or say they dont care for us. It feels terrible and i just feel like the fact im expressing myself and being gay is seen as just a way to safisfy myself sexually as i go on a random bigotry spree. So many jokes flying around on how most femboys end up racist and some end up trans and then they get angry when someone says that isnt true. I feel like im being pushed away. However i think youre right. A good break from the internet is probably what i need.
I'm sorry. I doubt it's news to you, but yeah Twitter is just such a toxic place for anyone and I don't think it reflects reality. It's easy to get caught up in the doomscrolling.At the end of the day, be true to yourself and don't let anyone dictate what your identity is and how it makes you happy. I started off as a femboy before realizing I was trans, and I have a lot of respect for the boys out there like you challenging our shitty outdated gender roles. It's also silly to think that every femboy is just a future trans girl in denial. Again, I'm sorry about this and the shitty people out there.
Yeah, I realized that the whole design of how Twitter works just encourages people to rage at randos. It's not a healthy place for anyone to be.
That idea that feminine-ish guys are all closeted trans girls is what made me leave r/egg_irl Great community, but I just didn’t like how any non-conforming guy or girl was pigeonholed as trans or enby.
I think it should be taken in context though. The memes in that subreddit are more in retrospect and many trans girls (like myself) started as femboys. Naturally their background will be similar to femboys so memes about their “signs” line up with being a femboy. They are effectively saying trans girls (though the memes are personal, not really in general) used to be feminine boys, not the other way around.
yeah, that egg shit is mad annoying. it especially sucks beecause if someone is actually closeted trans, coming out is a big deal & to have crowds of people yelling it around is really hard to deal with.
Yeah, I hate that subreddit because of that very reason. r/egg_irl in a nutshell: Cis male: ***behaves and/or dresses slightly feminine*** The sub: *"Wouldn't that make you TRANS?!"*
So true. Twitter became an extension of the chan space long ago. It mainly exists to spread hate and division.
The only part of "femboy twitter" where there isn't homophobia there's pedophilia and chasers. Twitter is just not a good place for anyone to be.
Please don't use "big names on twitter" to make up your mind about trans people. We are not a community that are represented by trans internet celebrities. Real-world interactions and communities are so much more meaningful and representative of trans people as a whole. Discourse on twitter is always more negative and exaggerated than anything happening in day to day life.
Anyone who's a big name on Twitter sounds insufferable tbh. You shouldn't base any of your views off them
Ye im so sorry about that, This probably stems from my lack of experience with the trans community, i was being more ignorant than anything and just letting my paranoia get the better of me.
Thank you for realizing that! I hope you can also feel better knowing that many trans people ARE femboys so we are not totally separate communities either.
Try asking about femboys on a major transfem subreddit like r/MtF. It's been done before, and everyone that I've seen, and this is something I as a trans woman agree with, says that femboys are our allies and we should protect you and stuff. I mean, a lot of trans women were actually femboys for a while, I know I was.
The "big names" are sadly the one who yell the most but it doesn't represent us. its okay don't be sorry I m just sadden that you are down because of these persons who are just mean in general
You don't need to apologise for that, they're not criticising you, or offended at you, they're mearly explaining that "big trans name" on twitter are not representative of the community as a whole. You're not in the wrong here.
Actually I would consider them in the wrong for their evaluation of the trans community and appreciated their apology.
Fair enough
Sure, but that doesn't seem to stop tHeY'R rOsEbOyS aCtUaLlY every two fucking seconds
okay? twitter sucks. everyone already knows that. also plenty of trans people ARE femboys so like a lot of us also don't like whatever ridiculous discourse random people on twitter say.
I would prescribe a healthy dose of _get off of twitter._ Nobody is served on twitter, only hurt. Please take care of yourself.
Twitter is designed to get a rise out of you to keep you engaged with the content as often as possible. Simply click on the three dots -> Not interested in this tweet. problem solved. 100 people out of 7 billion on Earth is is 0.00000001%. A negligible amount.
Delete twitter. Seriously just delete twitter. It's a vile place meant to hurt you so you'll keep scrolling that tailor-makes feeds to distort your vision of reality and spark anger and conflict.
Seconded.
>Delete twitter. Seriously just delete twitter. Evergreen advice.
That's every social media
On Reddit, your feed is only subreddits you subscribe to. On Tumblr, your feed is only people you follow. You can curate your own experience and entirely avoid the vortex of bullshit that is guaranteed to swallow you in an algorithm-based system like most social media websites have, most notably Twitter's. Not saying they're great for you or anything, but Twitter is a lot worse.
Yeah that's you're problem. Get off Twitter lol. I kinda stung reading this cus I and multiple other people on this sub are trans or some other part of lgbt . I know I try to defend both sides when arguments over characters come up cus yeah trans rep is cool but not all characters who are gnc are trans .
There are always at least two sides to any community. The bad one is on twitter. If you meet people IRL that are trans or GNC or GLBT then that is your community. The idea that all of us are one community or even a few communities is just really convenient for people who can use that for some other end.
Number one rule of the internet is to not let Twitter bozos get to your head. Don’t listen to anything they say, they’re just the vocal minority.
Get off of Twitter, nothing good has ever come from that site, I made the descision to leave years ago and I'll never regret it
delete twitter and never use it for that ever again, it will never end well.
Twitter is not the place to edit positive vibes people who use Twitter are mostly 16-22 yearolds thinking there doing the right thing there not though (they really aren’t)
Sounds like you are reading some horrible transmedicalist junk. Im so sorry
“its twitter” aka hell-hole on a hell-hole(planet)
I think you need to turn off the internet for a while and maybe do some extra-curricular activities
Idk most big names on twitter are criticizing the people who like to fetishize femboys and misgender trans people. They are also criticizing the people that say x or y character can’t be trans because in the anime they are referred to thier agab. This is mostly a non issue. Trans people and femboys on twitter interact mostly positively. Posts like this only serve to try and wedge the communities apart (Ie I am part of these communities on twitter)
Its Twitter. I got called a racist for informing someone to wear a face mask on a train. Confidentiality the person was black and had the typical twitter mindset. What I want to say is that you shouldn’t care about twitter.
Well there’s your problem, you’re listening to opinions on Twitter
There’s your issue. Twitter.
Twitter is a cess pool and not representative of the trans community as a whole by a long shot
Get off Twitter bro
its very obvious satire
Yeah you're probably right. Sorry its just i couldnt help but feel like they had a genuine distaste for us because of some idealogies that the people who fetishise us tend to put onto trans people
it still makes people feel uncomfortable and those kinds of jokes still shouldn’t be made tho???
I completely agree with that too. I don't think having something be a joke should discount how hurtful it is. I just think it would probably be better to see it as a joke rather than an actual though
Dude you're on Twitter, there are zoophiles and dreamsexuals there, and if you even have an opinion in Twitter, prepare yourself for a load of death threats.. I don't think you should use Twitter for posting things as it's a toxic place
Hang in there 🙏. Being fem isn't easy (I'm a full-time CD), we have a lot more support than you think! I don't know anything about trans persons rejecting fem boys, but I know it's very common in gay male circles (which are easily avoided), but even many of them support us. But at the end of the day, I'm loved by the most important person: me! 💕 But I also have the love of God, my family, my friends, my coworkers, and my godparents. I'm at a point in my self-care journey where I avoid things online that bring me down or disturb my peace. I really think you should try it. Oh! Nothing cheers you up like a manicure and a new pair of lashes 😍. Hang in there love
The "erase all femboys" thing is riffing on people calling Bridget "femboy erasure". It isn't serious.
1. Stay off Twitter, permanently. Honestly, it's horrible for mental health 2. All the racist femboys they are talking about are on Twitter. They are in a Twitter bubble and are setting their opinion of all femboys based on that handful. 3. If 100 people's opinion sets your opinion of the entire LGBTQ community, you are also in a Twitter bubble 4. PLEASE get off that shit site it is sooo bad I'm so happy I ditched it years ago.
If I were you I'd delete Twitter. The nice stuff isn't worth dealing with the negative shit for. I remember forgetting it existed for a week, then one day I checked it and instantly felt like shit again, that's when it hit me that Twitter was a problem for me and wasn't worth having
“It’s Twitter “ ohhh there the issue.
Yeah twitter is just a cesspit, don‘t take em seriously, it‘s a plattform built on toxicity and bullying. I‘ve seen the posts with them addressing femboys/tomboys as "eggs".
Dont act as if it doesnt happen because it does, i've seen it. Hell, i've seen trans people pretending femboys are just trans people who cant accept themselves or some bullshit. Shitty people exist in every community.
Go outside. This is just online discourse. Find a community in real life
Yeah redditors are not real people as far as I'm concerned
Oh you got me... seriously tho
Can confirm, I and all other people who use Reddit should be second-class citizens.
Yes
Hmm my experiences on r/egg_irl have been positive so far. Lots of rather understanding people. And those I know in reallife are all very positive towards femboys. One is even making an art-commision for me\^\^
Imso glad to hear that honestly. This is what i want to hear, granted the reason it relieves me so much may be because of some coping. But i am glad to hear that it isn't just a collective thought.
Quick tip Don't use twitter. It's a toxic cesspool, that just makes one miserable
Twitter is kinda like that one kid who clearly whacks you, doesn't get told off. Then you slap it upside the head and all of a sudden *you're* the one in trouble.
It's fine if use it to follow people for their art (or other hobbies), then unfollow immediately once unpleasant things show up in your timeline. But I agree that you should absolutely not use it for anything more than that.
Don't take the opinions of redditors seriously, they're some of the dumbest people on the planet. Talk to any person in real life and you'll realize most people generally don't care about what you identify as, and will show you respect if you show it in return
I am a Redditor :( u didn’t have to insult me that way
Hey, trans woman here! What you’re saying simply isn’t the case. Overwhelming trans people, and more broadly the LBGTQIA+ community, absolutely supports femboys and any other identities that follow under the GNC umbrella. There are some people, like myself, that get sad when characters that very easily could have been written as trans are instead given a traumatic backstory that is tied to them being a femboy that they “need to overcome”. But that is in no way calling femboy identities invalid. It’s simply a critique that many portrayals of femboys in anime and video games implicitly phrase gender nonconformity as a barrier to overcome, which harms peoples views of femboys. And then people apply those same principles to trans people to make them feel like they’re broken and need to just “overcome” being trans. As someone who’s a very vocal and wide read advocate and member of the trans community, I PROMISE you that we support femboys. Anything that comes across as otherwise is just a product of dealing with transphobia (i.g. trans women don’t want to be called femboys because they’re not femboys, etc.) So don’t let a small group of people on Twitter warp your perspective on the wider trans community. Many of us are former femboys (why can’t reddit change my name? lmao) and we just wanna support yall the same way yall support us! :3
Transfeminine person here. I love all of y'all femboys. I enjoy seeing you being able to express yourself and finding ways to be comfortable. You're helping rip down societal expectations of how someone is allowed to dress or act. Some of you have outfits and makeup that's so on point I'm jealous with how well you make it look good! Please Don't hide who you are! Please continue to dress in a way that makes you feel comfortable! God it's tough but please keep putting good into the world, we'd be worse off if you left!
Hey, I’m a trans guy (ftm) and I love femboys and support them wholeheartedly. I also love trans women and the rest of the LGBTQ+ community. I’ve been involved in a lot of LGBTQ+ groups over the years, and overall (at least in my experience) I think there’s a lot more love and support for each other in these spaces than negativity. It can be much more positive than online spaces. Keep in mind, social media and the internet is not real life. There are lots of online trolls posing as LGBTQ+ people and trying to spur up hate and infighting in the LGBTQ+ community. There are also bots trying to spread hateful propaganda. I hope you can find spaces that feel accepting and supportive, both online and in person.
Twitter discourse is just bots and the terminally online screaming at each other in an endless loop over literally anything. If you're having fun, then that's all that matters. A stranger's anger isn't your problem and you shouldn't let them make you think it is. Guilty Gear is cool, Bridget is cool, you're cool.
I am quite fond of femboys. I’m AMAB but my gender identity is demigirl so more often then not I’ll walk up to people and say “hey I’m aster trans demigirl femboy” and one could say it all applies ya know?
Probably gonna get downvoted to the floor because this but at least hear me out before downvoting. The LGBTQ community is full of great people but some of the smaller circles are really hostile and the reasonable people are often outspoken. I've been attacked for not having an extremist ideology and it's quite saddening.
I’m so sorry! I totally agree!
I'm a trans person and I love the femboy community. I don't like the people who say that making a character in media is "femboy erasure" though. If you want to talk to a trans person about this, I'm free.
Yeah, Twitter is the most negative space, I don't trust most stuff there to be unbiased or representative of communities large communities. I'm not a full femboy or anything, but one of my biggest supporters in doing a lot of more feminine styles is trans. Some people just have hate, but it's trust me, the LGBT+ community does not hate you. There will always be people with hate in their hearts, but the majority want you to express yourself and be you. Sincerely, A member of the LGBT+ community
I’m trans and I don’t hate you. I came to find my transness from first stumbling around here. I made a few friends here and still try to provide whatever help I can when I can.
WHAT!?! trans people love femboys, at least I do and plus many trans people used to be femboys before realizing they were trans, where are you getting this sure some do but that's always going to happen the thing is most don't and sometimes small groups can seem bigger if they are more vocal about their opinion
Fuck thoese shitty trans people, im trans and i 100% love that femboys exist :) Trans people dont have a monopoly on gender expression everyone can and should express themselves how they want :) Just remember theres always going to be shitty people in every group do your best to ignore them and look for the good people :)
Through the discourse about Bridget on Twitter I’ve seen some absolutely abhorrent takes somehow get thousands of likes, shit about how femboys aren’t a group of people that need representation in media, the femboy community apparently not being a real thing and based purely around a fetish, I’ve seen people say that femboys are a minority or marginalized in any way (despite numerous studies and lgbt orgs with evidence pointing to housing, workplace and social discrimination, higher likelihood of being a victim of violent crime, the very large number of posts in this very subreddit related to people being afraid of very serious social repercussions to their gender nonconformity, not to mention countries other than America where in some places gender nonconformity is full on banned) I’ve seen people say that femboys are “gas lighted into believing they are still cis-gendered” and that cishet femboys are all reactionary, but it’s like Idk at this point seeing someone pro-lgbt just out of nowhere spout the most anti-gnc shit imaginable doesn’t even catch me off my guard anymore. Remember a while ago saw a meme on Twitter that a bunch of people who I followed at the time liked and retweeted that said something like “feminine men have to be trans and it’s okay to push them to identify as such” and like I get that it’s a joke but it’s still a joke made specifically about invalidating gnc peoples identity’s, and when I saw a qrt explain how jokes like that are hurtful especially considering many gnc people have trauma specifically related to people invalidating their identity with their gender and then the top reply getting more likes to them was calling them an egg, after that happened and messed me up for a couple days I unfollowed a load of people and now very specifically moderate who I follow and interact with and stuff, but like in the end Twitter sucks, the internet in general sucks really, over my years being openly gnc on the internet across several social media I can’t say that Twitter is the worst there is at least. Honestly just try not to let negative shit on the internet get to you, and try not really to interact with it either. Algorithm does this thing where you start interacting with something l, even if you’re reacting negatively to it or are just simply on the page for a while it’ll start recommending you more shit that’s gonna make you feel worse, can get you going on a real downward spiral sometimes. Something I do sometimes when shit on the internet getting me stressed is I just detach myself from the internet for a good few hours, sometimes i do meditation or journaling or stuff, sometimes it’s as simple as turning on airplane mode and playing single player games. It helps me, might help you
as a trans person, the loudest people on tiktok and twitter are who have a problem with you. look on discord and reddit and like a quarter of the trans girls used to identify as femboys before they realized it wasnt who they were, and theres femboys who used to identify as trans before realizing it just wasnt who they are. if one community pushes out another it just is a negative experience for everyone and trans and gender nonconforming people need each other because even though we are different both communities break standard gender norms and are attacked by similar people because of it
I really don't think this is true. As a trans person and a femboy, the spaces I've been that center around both groups tend to be very welcoming of the other. I think it's much more likely that you're just in toxic spaces.
I’ve never heard about people thinking we are racist but I have had trans people dm me some hateful messages for being a femboy and I’ve been called sexist by them too
Not to say anything on one side or the other, but I definitely *have* seen people calling femboys racists. There's a very common stereotype of all femboys being racists or Nazis.
I’m not denying that people believe that I’ve just never experienced that myself
Coming from a femboy - now trans woman, i dont hate femboys at all, it just makes it very hard for both sides to coexist because generally dumb ppl with confuse and demean both sides because they both exist, i feel like men having femininity is great! I just know that the line between femboy and trans is VERY thin and i wish there were more ppl enforcing the fact that we're different
Hang in there.... be who you are and rest can kiss your as*...Life is a bowl you come into life with it empty. You put in it what you want. You want good it fills with good and if bad tgen tge sams occurs. Do you like you, that is what matters. Most people know who they are and where they are headed. You need to find that spot yourself. Never mind looking for others approvals and or being alone. Sometimes when your not looking mr.right will fall on your lap or if lucky you'll fall on his 😉.
I relate to this so much.
I don't see how the trans community doesn't like femboys. Most love and understand femboys because a ton of trans girls were former femboys. I'm a Femboy who realized I was actually trans, and people are welcoming on both sides, find the good people! 🥰
What?
may members of the femboy community including myself are trans. some people are over sensitive ngl
People on Twitter remembering that trans femboys exist challenge (difficulty:impossible)
As a nonbinary bisexual I get this feeling, it sucks to feel like both straight and gay people seeing my sexuality as fake, and both cis and binary trans people thinking my gender is fake. I guess in the same way that I don't want people to make assumptions about me I don't want to make assumptions about them though because I have straight, gay, binary trans, and cis friends who all accept me so on an individual level. I definitely know not all people don't believe in my existence.
You are valid. Ignore transmedicalists. They are literally phobes
Thank you, it's honestly nice to be reminded. I know im valid. I just also know a lot of people have a problem with my existence and as a person that has to exist in public and society it sucks to know people are around me thinking this stuff all the time. It's definitely a scary part of having a nonbinary transition because I know the more I come to to look like my self the more I put my life/future in danger.
As a person who is probably going to transition i totaly get what you are talking about. with all the recent controversy with the charachter I honestly get both sides but don’t get the amount of hate towards each other. I mean it’s a person that doesnt exist from a fictional game and people act like their life’s depend on whether or not they win the argument. yeah I know I’m bad at English not sorry
I completely agree, and I've felt the same way! FTR #1: To the people that are telling OP to just "go outside and find people". It's not that easy! In my experience i pretty much have to remain closeted to pretty much everyone. People like me are pretty much only left with the option to go online where we can find EXACTLY the right community that you want. Now idk the OP but I'd bet they are in a similar situation than me. There's a level of anonymity in the internet so people will generally speak what they actually feel. For example if i met a Twitter user that is trans and heavily preaches against femboy culture in real life. I would bet that the person likely would not antagonize me as a femboy in front of my face because in the situation we have more in common than the environment around us. But in internet discourse since you can find more people SPECIFICALLY alligned with you to the exact detail then they are more likely to antagonize people who aren't. That's just basic human interaction idk why I went off Abt it but you get what I mean. FTR #2: OP stated they were generalizing! I've met a bunch of people that thought it was cool that in a femboy whether they were straight, lgbtq and whatever in-between. The thing is, when I've personally interacted with specifically the transfem community to i assume that i have a lot in common. But that's not the case. I get this like "you can't sit at our table" vibe or the opposite where I'm being forced into being trans. I was pretty much gaslit (by someone i considered an actual friend) to thinking i was trans and i didn't know it. Like i would "grow out of it" or that me wanting to be a feminine guy made no sense. It was quite disheartening since I was pretty much solid in my identity at that point. And the worse thing is as i browse communities, etc, i see that same retoric to be pretty common! If you don't believe me then pls look closely more closely before disregarding it as unimportant. If you want a specific example, a big one is that the literal word "femboy" is considered a fucking slur to a chunk of the trans community. Or maybe that they think femboy is the fetishization of trans people. As a literal person, that is super dehumanizing! And i actually thought everyone that was trans to be super brave and I admired them, i rly do. I made friends and rly cool people. But it's a shame that I'm just afraid to interact with the trans community. If i had to quantify my experiences I'd say like 25-35% of trans folk I've met either indoctrinate me to be trans or regarded me as transphobic or against their cause. if i had to rlly gauge where I've seen this kinda dumb baby nonsense would be in like MTF advice channels or accs and similar stuff to this. TLDR: As a femboy, a lot of the time we aren't accepted in cis spaces (which is like, whatever) but we aren't accepted in LGBTQ spaces either because of this complex that has been label into femboys. Cuz we are like expected to be gay or transfem and expected to be hypersexualized and it's not like there's a community of femboys either cuz femboy as a concept is very complicated... Bruh i just wanna wear my gfs clothes, there's too much nonsense going on everywhere smh Sorry if this text is absolute nonsense i lost my train if thought halfway thru this.
Did you don't want others to incorrectly generalize about your group, don't incorrectly generalize about others' groups LGBTQ community as a whole adores femboys, please try to take a different perspective on this: you've been seeing a place where LGBTQ people have only seen the racist femboy places, so you therefore think all LGBTQ people think this, and they think all femboys think *that*. Now if we all took a step back here, we'd realize neither of these things are true and we're generalizing about millions of people based on a handful of comments on Reddit. Quite a silly thing to do friend. <3
Dude as a trans femboy we do not dislike femboys. A lot of trans people (including me to an extent) are a bit uncomfortable around cis femboys and cis femboy-likers because it can bridge into weird fetishization, even though there are 1000% respectful cis femboys and femboy-likers. Just as a lot of trans gays, for example, are a bit sus of cis gays because they tend to center their oppression and ignore our experiences (ex- cis queers freaking out over "gay rights being next" after the roe v wade shit when trans rights have been under attack months before, years before, and they said nothing. Yk. That.)
I get your point but I don't want to talk about this. You don't have to take all of this just for you and think that you are guilty for that !! Don't ruin your mental health for something you didn't commit please, you are talking abt killing yourself this is serious. Please don't take all of those drama on you ! It's not your fault if some people have bad habit! Even tho they maybe identify the same has you, you don't have to assume what they do ! So please don't think about killing yourself especially for something your didn't commit. (Hope you understand my English is awful)
>Don't ruin your mental health for something you didn't commit please, It's hard to do that when people make such broad generalizations that you end up being included in something you are not a part of. I understand where you're coming from and I agree, but reshaping your thinking process to acknowledge the fact that you have nothing to do with it is pretty hard. What OP should do is uninstall Twitter. I used to be in that same situation, but when I uninstalled Twitter, my life started to gradually become better. I'm not saying that only good things happened to me, but I certainly started viewing myself less negatively.
Not only Twitter just your phone leave it sometimes for more than a day and connect with reality
I'm a trans femboy, if that helps.
Gonna be honest, I'm kinda in the same boat as you. All day I've been seeing people constantly shitting on femboys for this reason or the other all over some character I've literally never heard of before. It's seriously fucked up my day and I don't blame you for being upset or mad. I know there are a lot of really great people out there, particularly trans women, who support us fully. But it's difficult to find them to say the least
Trans woman here who supports you. So sorry sweetheart
First time I met a trans girl irl, they asked me if I was a cross dresser and called me a fa**ot funniest thing ever. Look people are either awful or nice there are millions of people and guess what no one cares about what you do yh they may think it’s weird okay cool. They just aren’t important to you go make new friends if your alone socialise, Ik it’s hard god I don’t even talk to people cause I’m terrified. But it is easy if each party wants to communicate never force yourself or your interests on others. People who want to be friends with you will show interest in who you are. Worse comes to worse you literally have the internet where people who are like you are around. These labels people use all the time are pain all they deffo is create Barriers. At least that’s my opinion I don’t think labels matter but I’m very accepting
Making generalizations about groups of people based on what you read on Twitter, especially after a controversy just happened is prolly not the best play. I'm sorry you're in the dumps right now but I can guarantee that most of us at worst, don't care and would want you to be able to live however you wish. Right now is probably the worst time to come to a conclusion like this, there are so many bad actors without a horse in the game coming out the woodwork to spew shit, like I've been told to go hang myself 10+ times in the past 2 days. It's just not worth paying attention to, take a break from Twitter. They're trying to pit us against each other but I love you and hope you feel better soon
OP literally stated that he isn’t generalising
I think it's only a minority tho. I may be a little biased (cus I was a femboy for a while) but I love you guys! This community is just awesome except for a couple rotten apples, just like in the trans community! Don't beat yourself up, if they don't appreciate you as you are or push their own beliefs of what you are on to you, they don't deserve you anyway :) Stay strong <3
Hey! As someone who is an egg, you're 100% accepted and valid. Go live your happiest life and do whatever you want to do so long as you don't hurt others. There's definitely going to be weird people everywhere, and I agree with other commenters that disconnecting a bit is probably a good idea to reorient a bit.
it's ok to feel this way, not being accepted by a community you generally support sucks, but if that's your experience, that's your experience, I just hope you know it doesn't reflect on the entirety of the community, or even most of it
Would a genuine hug from someone wanting to share that expression make you feel better? Maybe, just a little? My heart sympathize with your pain and you are welcome to it… don’t give up, please.
umm trans girl here, femboys are valid and i love them <3
This has never been my experience. I am active in trans communties online, and of the few trans people I know in real life (possibly including myself), neither group has a wide reaching issue with femboys, as far as I can tell.
As a Trans femme femboy I feel like I have failed you dear
Bro if anyone is offended by this let them because as I see it the ones who do get offended are the aholes who think we’re sex trolls all because they have nothing better to do in there life then make assumptions about other people even know they are the sex trolls. Edit: also thank you for bringing this out, I have been thinking on how to tackle this for a while, should I do ads or post about it, these were the thoughts I mainly had but then you brought this out, I feel like things are going to get more public from here on. Thx
I get it, I'm a trans man but like to go out in femboy every once in a while, not femboy enough to look female, but enough to look andro or something. The amount of hate I see when people see me as a trans man and then going out in a crop top and skirt or something...
First off, please join a community of femboys. Communities exist, even on discord. You do not need to be alone. Second, I have a long list of trans friends and not one has any animosity towards femboys. Please let me know if I can help you.
Hey bro, this shit must be rlly difficult yeah but you might've fell into a toxic rabbit hole of shitty people or something like that bcs ive never in my life heard trans people saying stuff like that about femboys. You are totally valid and dont deserve to go trough this shit
trans girl here: just know that you’ll find a lot of hate online regardless of the topic. I think femboys are awesome and I love seeing people be themselves, especially if societal norms n whatnot make that harder. You’re probably just hearing a small hateful group that happens to be the loudest, because I don’t understand why someone would hate another group of people for no reason, especially if they face similar struggles. Just remember that anyone who doesn’t love you for who you are isn’t worth your time or energy, because there are people out there who will love you for who you are (even if finding them can seem hard rn).
Honestly, just ditch Twitter. So much shit gets stirred up there and all the negativity isn’t healthy. I’m really sorry that you’ve been exposed to all those hateful comments. I promise they’re just a minority. Most of us are pretty cool with femboys.
Listen, it sounds like you’re digging through twitter. You can find people just spouting ridiculous beliefs on there and it’s easier to find people the more ridiculous their views. Level headed people aren’t gonna hate you for being a femboy. Reading those opinions shouldn’t make you feel unloved and unaccepted because love and acceptance matters when it comes from people important to you. It’s good that you’re venting but I want you to know that things can seem like a way bigger deal than they are sometimes. Other peoples opinions of you don’t actually mean shit in their own right. Let alone random people on the internet’s opinions about a group that you so happen to be a part of. You define who you are and your worth.
What? We trans girls LOVE you femboys 💗
I think this is something you run into more online. I am a trans woman, and have a decent sized group of trans friends, and we are all of the opinion that femboys are awesome.
I'm glad i'm not the only one who felt like this when i saw it on my timeline, which is a shame cause i'm so happy my main is back in the game I think its just the current bridget discourse is bringing out the worst in people and its a hot topic, give it a week or to and this will have blown over. Twitter will forget and the bridget tag will just go back to cute fan art
Huh? I'm mtf and I have nothing but love for femboys. I want to say this is not the case idk xx
Lgbt communyties are hiding (or not) an incredible amount of ostracism. Not every community, everytime, but I'm Always surprised to see people suffering from stupid people, becoming exactly the same, sometimes even worse. There is mostly adorable people (femboy communities are the best ❤️) but Still some lost one waiting for justice warriors time (the truth is they just want to take their revenge on innocent unknown and far away people)
Twitter is a garbage dump, it’ll probably be good to get away for a bit. And trans Twitter discourse by no means represent real trans people and communities. I’m trans and love femboys and I’ve literally never gotten the impression from anyone that they hate femboys. If anything we should celebrate you for going outside of gender norms and being your true self.
Hang in there kiddo. The internet is a sewer. Dont take anything you read online too much to heart.
Just saw below where ya said its twitter. Twitter is the part of the sewer where even the shit doesnt wanna go. Twitter is just the worst. Saw a heartwarming post on FB about the little league world series where a kid hit a batter in the helmet with a pitch that put him on the ground for a while. The pitcher was so upset he was struggling on the mound. The kid who got his walked over from first base to give him a hug and tell him You are doing just fine. One of the best cases of sportsmanship Ive seen lately. Twitters response? Nothing but mockery. Disgusting.
there are people who are insane like that for some reason. legit just leave twitter and tiktok the brainrot is held there the strongest its unreal
Something you gotta realize about the world is that everyone is an individual, regardless of what groups they associate with. Yes, there are people from all sections of society that dislike us, just like how there are people from every group that hate transgender people and the like (trans rights btw I don’t want my message to be misinterpreted). However, that doesn’t mean the majority of any given group hates femboys. The silent majority doesn’t care much, most people say ‘do what you like, just don’t infringe on others rights’ The best thing you can do is just ignore them, no matter who they are. Femboys, and everyone for that matter, can dress, act, and exist the way they want, as is part of life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness. Edit: yeah I’ve been reading other comments and reddit doesn’t necessarily have the best opinions. Just do what you like, dress the way you want, you’re not hurting anyone else. Women used to wear dresses as a societal norm before 2nd wave feminism in the 1960s-80s, they fought society to wear pants. Maybe men wearing dresses or something similar would be the next big thing.
Hey, they can't control you, and you're not alone. Pretty sure Trans who are like that don't believe in non-binary or other genders either. They like to mess with people but they don't know how strong and nice this community is, your always welcomed in here
Well, I for one am trans and love my femboys ( I identified as one for 20 years). There are people who want to exclude me from the trans community because I don’t plan to have srs, there are terfs who seek to entirely exclude trans people from the feminist and gay rights movements: Fuck ‘em Don’t listen to people like that, just do you and don’t change yourself because some assholes are going to hate you.
Shit, trans women hate femboys now? Dang, I'll have to tell my girlfriend. She'll be so sad about having to dump me. (A few people online are deranged enough to say stuff like "the femboys should just come out as trans already!!!" but most trans people I know are very friendly towards gender-nonconformity.)
I mean this in the nicest way possible. Go outside. I’m honestly getting sick of this “all I’ve seen towards me is toxicity and hatred” “Where’d you look” “Twitter” Are you serious? As a trans gal I don’t appreciate this idea that “we” hate femboys because that’s the impression some toxic cesspool of a website gave you of an entire group of people. Would you like it if my entire perception of how you felt was shaped by what I saw from femboys on 4chan?
Im very sorry for putting an entire community under one roof just based on these experiences, but it felt like more of a gradual build up of me being obsessed over looking into femboy hate all across the internet rather than me just getting it all from twitter alone. Even then though saying the word internet probably proves your point on how i probably shouldnt be basing my thoughts on people who speak for themselves. Again i am sorry that i was so quick to assume things about you and the people like you, i really was just consumed by this sick feeling in my stomach that came up in this overwhelming feeling of stress that i just vented about it in the most blatant way i could. I hope that i don't come across as too presumptious, i was stuck in a state of panic that still hasn't gone away just yet.
As someone who deals with the usual death threats, groomer, predator, rapist, and pedophile accusations, calls to off myself, and every manner of dysphoria inducing hate speech under the sun that comes with the trans experience, we aren’t your enemies here. Shitty people exist everywhere and on basically every one of these websites there’s an algorithm that propels content meant to make you mad/upset/hopeless, whatever strong emotion to you repeatedly for the sake of riling you up and getting more clicks. There are harmful generalizations made about femboys floating all over the internet, and there are shitty people in every group ofc queer, gnc or otherwise. Not to be insensitive, but that type of hate and ignorance will pretty much always exist, in every group, just look at transmedicalists and terfs! The best thing you can do besides educating people around you, is just carrying on with your life. Curate your online experience so you’re not delving into digital self harm, surround yourself, online especially, with people that support you and(most importantly) are capable of the critical thinking required to realize that we’re all each other’s ally’s. And besides, wayyy more queer people would rather support you and your self expression than hate you over a goddamn videogame character tf
Hey im sorry you fell on some awful voices on twitter, and I know that can make things be tough. In reality tho the vast majority of the trans community supports and respects femboys and other GNC people. Especially transfemmes since many of them used femboy spaces to explore themselves and are still attached to the culture of them. There also has been an uptick in transmasc people who present as femboys and therefore even cause a crossover of the communities. Check out r/ftmfemininity (I don’t remember the correct spelling) if you wanna know about that. And from my personal opinion, femboys are wonderful, valid and I wish they would find more acceptance in society
Im literally a trans femboy if people hating on you making you feel unwelcome im here to say u valid I understand the desire to dress feminine but still identify as male
The loudest people are the smallest minority. Plus trolls intentionally stirring shit. From experience, trans people love all forms of gender expression.
Please don’t apologize for offending someone. You’re just talking about a group of assholes so if they’re offended then that’s on them. It’s true that much of the more radical transgender supporters and persons dislike femboys because the idea goes against their beliefs. To fully understand this you have to understand what they espouse, it is a widely held belief in at least the more publicly known sphere of transgender culture that if one is inclined towards actions more traditional of the opposite gender then they are the opposite gender. They usually confuse gender and temperament, however many advocates of transgenderism also do not believe in gender stereotypes. The way they most commonly explain this is that gender is simply a way of marking and recognizing someone’s identity, that gender is at the same time paramount and almost completely useless. The most common reason for transgender individuals to dislike femboys is that they believe if you act feminine you therefore the opposite gender and if you say no then you’re neglecting your true identity. Please don’t kill yourself, many people worked their fucking ass of to keep you alive and in well enough condition to post something on Reddit. Strangers don’t like you online? Don’t give a shit. You have no friends? Fuck friends. You aren’t accepted by others? So fucking what. The culture is against you? Change it. Society is ass? Then live long enough to make your change. Just, please don’t die. There are definitely people who care about you, some strangers online being annoying should not make you lose faith in those you love. Not everyone at every corner hates you, that might have been the case 30 years ago but not now. There’s an entire community behind you and all of us femboys. I think that the LGBTQIA2S community saying that femboys are sexualized losers is quite hypocritical. If some edgy kid said some shit I would take it personally and beat his ass. Also not all conservative dislike femboys, most of them don’t give a shit and just don’t like trans people. Stay well, focus on yourself.
If that's what you see from trans twitter you're digging in a pretty bad spot. I, as a part of trans twitter, have seen predominantly positivity, with most criticism being directed at right wingers who don't like that Bridget is a girl now. Femboy and trans discourse can be tricky to navigate, and I also don't doubt that there are some trans people who have used this as an opportunity to harp on femboys, but don't be fooled. Femboys are an integral part of the trans and lgbtq community as a whole. Trans women, trans men and trans nonbinaries have consistently been supportive of femboys and will continue to be supportive of them. The things some upset people say on the internet don't define you and they're certainly not something to throw your life over! Just take a deep breath and take a break from twitter. It'll be ok.
? what a weird way to think
Any trans person who dislikes femboys in general are hypocritical idiots. I'm transfem and I love femboys, because you guys not only are super cute, but you guys help me. Many things I learnt early on in my transition and even recently has been from femboys. Additionally, femboys are arguing for the same thing trans people want, the destruction of strict gender roles to allow anyone to identify and present however they want.
Im trans. I really like femboys. People who just break gender roles with the way they dress and live their lives like that. I am really uncomfortable with crossdressing people however. With that I mean guys that just dress like women for fun on weekends and never do it if they don't go out eating or to a party or whatever. I'm not even sure why, I just really don't like that.
Just don’t give a fuck. Embrace it.
The Bridget stuff really brought out the worst of people. Transphobes crying that she is a woman now, Weebs screaming that "it does not fit the lore", Trans woman being mad at both former groups and somehow bashing femboys for it, And femboys screaming they lost their representation. Like I get it's exiting to see actual Trans woman in anime, but God damn.
Hi, trans girl who barley uses Reddit. I love and acknowledge your existence.
the second paragraph is just simply not true at all lol
as a trans person, I love femboys!! They're great :3
i’m trans and i love femboys and still kinda think of myself as one, you guys are great and i’ve literally barely ever heard anything negative towards femboys in the community
I know a lot of it was mostly just attacking back towards the people that wanted bridget to remain femboy and saying its femboy genocide. A lot of trans people still like and support femboys they just don’t like the bigotry when they are said to be forcing femboys to be trans is all
Most of the negative comments are probably from RW troll farms run by very sexually conflicted and frustrated people that actually get off to trans/sissy/femboy/gay content, which is how they came to those forums and sites in the first place. That said... The world is becoming a bitchier place, but that's more online than in person. In reality, most people are just trying to get on with their lives. And there's nothing wrong with being alone for a while. Take that time to know yourself. They say it takes being comfortable with your own company before you can truly be comfortable with another, if relationships are your issue. But it sounds more like you're taking on all that emotional garbage that the internet is full of. You'll be fine, but for goodness sake, take a break from social media. If there's specific forums or sites that you know you'll be safe (here?) then stick to them. But cut all the crap off. You don't need that darkness- it needs You. xx
Being liked and feeling welcome is overrated.
i'm transmasc and still a femboy