This depends on a lot of factors and no one can for sure say either way. How you carry, how much weight you gain, do you have a short/long torso etc.
Do you continue to work on your fitness after baby? Etc
I have a short torso, I carry all belly and show very early. My first gave me a million stretch marks on my stomach despite excessive moisturizing bc I constantly felt like my skin was being ripped apart. I felt like it took 2 years to get back to somewhat feeling normal but I also breastfed up until 18mths so I think that played a role. My boobs definitely ended up looking deflated but you’d only notice if I was naked. Just all the upper fullness got shifted to the bottom of my breasts. Blaming pregnancy/breastfeeding for that one.
I definitely have loose skin on my lower stomach which my husband has told me if it really bothers me after this kiddo (#3 and last) we can do the whole tummy tuck thing but I’m not sure I want to deal with the recovery for that 😆
All of that being said, my husband still loves me and has a high sex drive despite all the physical changes over our 16years together. I also wouldn’t choose to not have our kiddos.
Go ahead and splurge on the nice suit :) worst case you only wear it one summer and can donate it. (Personally I wear my two pieces at home but don’t in public just not personally confident enough for that but if you are going to for it!)
People’s bodies are different, but get the swimsuits. Don’t live in the zone of I might be pregnant any day. It sucks. I spent 2+ years not doing things while trying to conceive and I have so much regret around that.
I’m now pregnant and gloriously happy, but I just feel like I wasted 2 years saying no thank you because I might be pregnant any day.
People tried to scare me about all sorts of things when I was I first married and then pregnant. I would no longer have a fit body, a clean house, a gym routine, or find time to cook healthy meals.
All of the above weren’t true. People love to blame their lack of effort or prioritization on having kids rather than what it really is. The first 6 months were wild but after that things started looking more and more like my life before kids, just with a kid added to the mix. I still work out, my body still looks mostly the same (took over a year to feel this way), my house is just as clean, and I cook the same amount as before.
If you are someone who really prioritizes these things before pregnancy and you are motivated to continue, you can do it.
Absolutely this. Fitness is really important to my husband and I, and it has been our entire lives, even before we met each other.
My SIL’s friend (who has never really been kind to me in the first place) told us one day while on a group vacation that once you get married and have kids and have a house that things will change.
I got frustrated pretty quickly and told her that people prioritize what is important to them—and reminded her that I already had a son so I was no stranger to kids and fitness balancing.
If watching television or playing on your phone is important to you, it’s what you’re going to do. It’s up to you to choose what’s important.
And truthfully—I was thinner and in better shape after I had my son than before. My body just held weight differently, and it was awesome.
Ditto this! If it's important to you, you'll make it work. I started counting macros 9 months postpartum and ended up getting well below my pre baby weight by eating healthy and exercising. You will most certainly be able to wear your bikinis again. Enjoy your honeymoon!
Your post was removed due to our rule against exact weight numbers. Weight gain during pregnancy can vary greatly person to person and we don't want people to try and compare to someone else's journey. Putting your weight gain and loss as a percentage is fine, (ie I lost 25% of what I gained in the first two weeks PP.) Things like 'gained more than expected' or 'I'm aiming to hit my doctor's recommended weight' are also fine.
Please edit or repost without the exact weight numbers.
Your defensiveness is a you problem, not a me problem. Where did I say anything about boobs changing being anyone’s fault or any of the other nonsense you are extrapolated from my post in this response? I said I prioritized things such as working out before kids and kept doing so after kids and that it’s possible for others to do the same.
I don’t owe you any sort of explanation but I was 35 when I had my first with an emergency c-section that knocked me on my ass, a colicky baby allergic to a dozen things, and had a very difficult 11 month long breastfeeding journey. But that’s not what OP was asking about. She was asking if it’s inevitable that she will have an incredibly different body and I gave her an anecdote that it isn’t. This was someone looking for reassurance not a measurement stick of who had the hardest pregnancy and postpartum. Read the room and chill the f^ck out.
People love to scare new moms about everything. "Enjoy your sleep while you can!" "You'll never have alone time ever again!" "Your body is going to be forever changed!" And sure, sometimes those things are all true, but they're definitely not always true or true all the time or true for everyone. Take it all with a grain of salt!
As far as swimsuits go, it's up to you! I could wear the same swim suits that I wore before kids, but for the most part I do not because they're just not practical. I don't enjoy wearing a cheeky bikini bottom while I am playing with my toddler in the pool and my baby will try to pull my top down if I am not wearing something really secure/fuller coverage on top.
I’m working on taking these things with a grain of salt! Not sure if you saw in my post, but I’ve heard this “just wait” crap for *years* even when I was single! So I’m conditioned to believe that my life is over.
I love your kindness and your honesty. I also love that you’re going for a skimpier bottom :) Thank you!
Yeah I definitely haven’t bought any jeans since getting pregnant juuuust in case but my whole wardrobe is the same size so I am very motivated to fit back into it
Your post was removed due to our rule against exact weight numbers. Weight gain during pregnancy can vary greatly person to person and we don't want people to try and compare to someone else's journey. Putting your weight gain and loss as a percentage is fine, (ie I lost 25% of what I gained in the first two weeks PP.) Things like 'gained more than expected' or 'I'm aiming to hit my doctor's recommended weight' are also fine.
Please edit or repost without the exact weight numbers.
There seems to be a lot more negativity around pregnancy, motherhood, etc. these days and not just in regard to the physical impact on a mother’s body.
I don’t have personal experience with your question because I’m currently pregnant with our first. But I had the same worries and came to the conclusion that my body is going to change with age regardless. So I’d rather not walk on eggshells worrying about it.
Buy the swimsuit. Take nice pictures in it. You are worth the splurge even if it doesn’t fit in a year or two.
2.5 months postpartum I fit comfortably into the bikini that I had worn 6 years earlier on my honeymoon. I also ended up buying another bikini that was a little cheekier than I’d usually wear just because this is probably the last year I won’t be chasing after a toddler and doing lots of bending etc.
I say do whatever you want to do and don’t let people scare you! I was terrified because of all of the things people told me would happen to my body. I wish I hadn’t listened because it caused all kinds of unnecessary extra stress. People love to say “just you wait…” about everything when you’re pregnant. Whether it’s about how your body will change, how your free time will change, or your relationship, just try to let it go in one ear and out the other ❤️
If you have loose skin on your stomach, will you not want to wear a cute swimsuit? Your body will probably change, yeah, but it's up to you to decide whether you'll feel "destroyed" and like you need to cover up, or you'll just feel that your body looks different but still want to wear the same swimwear. I had a lot of weight loss when I was younger and have always had loose skin on my stomach and a saggy frowny belly button but I wear two piece suits anyway
Hey OP. I’ve struggled with body images issues and disordered eating habits my whole entire life. I am currently 33 weeks pregnant and this is the most positive I’ve ever felt about my body. Has it changed? Yes of course. My areolas are dark and large. My stomach has some stretch marks, I have cellulite now which I havnt before and my face/jawline is much less defined. My hips have widened, my boobs are about 2 sizes bigger. This is all very normal. Something in my brain switched when I became pregnant, I’m THANKFUL that my body can do this. I love that I’m growing my son. There’s so much more to life than worrying about a perfect body or fitting into a prepartum swim suit or clothes. Don’t let it deter you from having babies. Your partner should also be understanding that your body will change and some changes permanently but he should see it as beautiful and honestly inspiring. It’s nice to look at your body in a new light. For me it’s almost healing, Ive always been hypercritical of myself. My body may not be on a cover of a magazine, but it’s growing my son and that’s so beautiful. I hope the thinking for you will be the same and I’m sorry people say their body was destroyed and it’s affected you. The way I see it, my body is different, but it’s okay. As long as I eat healthy and try to be active when I’m healed and ready that’s all I should focus on. I don’t expect to go back into my pre partum clothes and I think putting that on yourself can be really harmful ❤️ wishing you all the best in your journey.
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way! I think this is a good time to talk to a therapist. It's normal to be a little nervous about how pregnancy might affect your body but this feels like very unhealthy and dangerous spiraling.
It might be a good idea to work on developing better coping strategies to deal with the endless amount of negative information out there instead of letting is seep too far into your thoughts.
Yes, your body will change. Some of it is out of your hands but a lot of it really depends on how healthy you are going into pregnancy. Control what you can and let go of what you can't control.
I am fitter now than before I had kids. I workout four times a week and I never skip it. My fridge is always full and we eat actual meals three times a day, together. I go to sleep earlier. I stopped drinking alcohol and my husband got into meditation. I argue that kids make you healthier!
My son is 2. I am more fit now than I was pre-baby and suddenly need to buy new suits because all my pre-baby suits no longer fit!
Life is long and your body will change as you age no matter what. But a baby is a pretty good reason for your body to change, if you think about it.
I felt similarly to you before I got pregnant. Going through that process made me confront a lot of difficult body issues. I used to spend sooo much time stressing about my looks. Now I realize that there is so much more to life than that. I feel like I came out the other side with a more healthy mindset.
Watching your body change during pregnancy is both exciting and scary. It’s the fear of the unknown. I can say with 100% truth my body is pretty much exactly the same at 10 months postpartum as it was pre pregnancy. I weigh the same, I have the same pant size etc. my belly button looks a wee bit different and I have my c section scar which I’m very proud of. Everyone is different, but it’s not all gloom and doom for everyone. Exercise, eat right, and it’s the best you can do. And enjoy your pregnancy as much as you can. I found everyone is over the top nice to pregnant ladies!
I wore my prebaby bikinis both during pregnancy and after. currently pregnant with my second, and still wearing them! I think it's a sweet gesture for your husband to gift you some nice swimsuits. you should take advantage and enjoy them, especially since you are going to be trying soon, and not pregnant yet. you might have some time before your body starts changing, or you might be like me and just keep making use of your swimwear! good luck with trying and have fun on your honeymoon!
I wore my prebaby bikinis both during pregnancy and after. currently pregnant with my second, and still wearing them! I think it's a sweet gesture for your husband to gift you some nice swimsuits. you should take advantage and enjoy them, especially since you are going to be trying soon, and not pregnant yet. you might have some time before your body starts changing, or you might be like me and just keep making use of your swimwear! good luck with trying and have fun on your honeymoon!
To be honest, your coworkers are being pretty rude. Yes, your body changes but it’s because it accomplished something awesome and many people are able to be happy with their bodies after having kids even if they don’t look exactly the same as they did before a baby. Also having permanent changes from pregnancy is not the same thing as your “body being destroyed”.
As far as swimsuits go, it’s going to be very dependent on your comfort level. You may be fine showing off some stretch marks (depending on if you get them) you may not. No right or wrong decision on that either. Keep in mind though that they may not fit the same even if you lose all your pregnancy weight and look fit again. Your hips and ribcage widen during pregnancy and it can be permanent to some degree. Last weekend I wore an old swimsuit (currently 7 months postpartum) and the bottoms fit fine but the top was a bit tight. This was partly due to my ribcage still being slightly wider and also because I’m breastfeeding so my boobs are way different than before.
I’m 8 months postpartum, but right now I really feel like pregnancy destroyed my body. I spent so much of my life worrying about being fat when I wasn’t. Now I wish I just wore the bikini bc I truly cannot now with my stretch marks and apron belly. I might look into a tummy tuck if my lower abdominals won’t heal more and I can lose a bit more weight. That said, I do fit into some of my pre pregnancy swim, they just don’t look good.
I think you should get a nice swimsuit and enjoy it. Maybe it’ll fit again, maybe it won’t. You shouldn’t cut back on joy now in anticipation of something that might happen.
I mean, probably not “destroyed” but very likely different. Whether you want to wear a bikini again is entirely a personal decision. I’m 3 months postpartum, worked out and ate well throughout my pregnancy, and my body is definitely different and bigger right now. I am working on being comfortable with it and patient with myself. It’s so different person to person so I wouldn’t let it hold you back from enjoying a nice swimsuit for now.
I’m 8 months pp and back in all my old clothes. I weigh less than I did before pregnancy but I do have less muscle. I would say I look slightly different but I have a different appreciation for my body now so it sort of doesn’t matter as much, if that makes sense?
I am only 6 months pp, but from where I am standing diastasis recti has wrecked my stomach/core. The rest of my body is more or less the same but I would not be caught dead in a bikini right now….i still look pregnant with a bulging stomach and persistent outie belly button courtesy of an umbilical hernia. I am in PT but may need surgery given the hernia among other things. I am probably on the unlucky side, but def not a given you will go back. I was in very good shape before and am generally a healthy person. Have not touched my pre pregnancy swimsuits and most of my pre pregnancy clothes. Slowly giving up and forming another wardrobe for now. Don’t buy the bikinis for longevity but buy them to enjoy your current hot bod. A hot bod tomorrow is not promised haha.
Buy the swimsuit and take lots of pics in it!!! I am 7 weeks post partum and would probably fit in my old swim suits and fit in my dresses. I almost fit in my jeans but I do think I’m gonna have to go up a pants size or 2 (I started at 00/XS everything).
It’s important to just live in the moment with these things and not plan for something you can’t predict!
Like everyone else said, it's prioritizing yourself. I am a much better mom when I'm fit and have energy. So I made it a point to workout consistently after kids. My boobs went downslope, and I have a stomach crease that won't go away because sometimes I like pizza dammit. I'm 40 pregnant with kiddo 3 and I'll wear 2 pieces until I feel like I don't want to. This body formed and housed now 3 babies and I'll be damned if I feel any shame in that. That said, I'd really love to lift the boobs back to the starting line
Your body won’t be “destroyed.” But it’ll most likely be different! If it were me, I’d save the nice swimsuit present for after you give birth as a way of welcoming your new body.
Thank you for asking this! I’m a first time mom, 10 weeks, and terrified of this. I put off becoming a mother for a long time bc I didn’t think I could handle the changes to my physique
Okay first off, f those people. Yes your body changes but it doesn’t get destroyed. It temporarily feels that way after birth, your belly feels hollow and soft because it made room for a child, some women get stretch marks (genetic) but microneedling can allegedly combat that. I actually love my body more now than when I was only focused on being fit. I still enjoy being fit, but that’s not the only thing that matters and this will make sense to you when you become a mom yourself - in a positive way. I can fit into most of my pre baby things at 14 months PP but my hips are wider which I like, my boobs are bigger which I like, my body has changed and it’s not in a bad way, my lady bits are the same and I even tore, my bathing suits still fit but they looks very skimpy now which who cares, but my daughter will grab my top and pull a boob out so I’ll wear more conservative bathing suits when we’re on family boating trips with in laws etc., just because it makes ME more comfortable knowing I won’t be flashing the family. First year after having a baby is hard, but it gets progressively easier and your heart grows fuller.
I totally get the not wanting to waste the money on wearing a swimsuit for such a short period to time. But the thing is, you nor none of us can know ahead of time if your body will fit into post baby. But also, life is short to maybe wearing an amazing swimsuit for even a short period of time is worth it for your happiness :)
The “just you wait” comments are projection from other people. You’ll also get those pertaining to parenthood…
Easier said than done, but try to block out that noise from other people and know that just because a person has a certain experience, doesn’t mean yours will be anything like that!
Some tips:
Stay active during your pregnancy in ways that make you feel good both physically and mentally. On days where you’re exhausted practice deep belly breathing and yoga / gentle type movement.
Make a ritual out of moisturizing your body with coconut/ jojoba / rose hip oil - all are deeply moisturizing and can help with stretch marks. You can also use this time to use mantra and positive affirmation for your body& self.
Stay really hydrated and focus on high protein and nutrient dense food.
Spend extra time on self breast massage! It can help with lifting and firming the breasts. Also, focusing on chest specific exercises like incline bench press, incline dumbbell press, cable crossovers, cable flys, push-ups/ modified push-ups will build the chest muscles and lift the breasts as well.
I’m currently 2 weeks PP. I was lifting until 3 days before I delivered. I ate high protein my entire pregnancy as well to help keep a more balanced body composition and am still doing so PP. no exercise for a few more weeks, but I’m doing long walks with baby and feel great. Yes there are things like widening of the ribs that can physiologically/ structurally change, but that doesn’t mean you can’t or won’t have a fit and awesome PP body! Just remember to take it slow and honor your 4th trimester PP, focus on core / pelvic floor rehabilitation during that time and ease into your fitness routine. All of the tips mentioned above were really important for me throughout my pregnancy from a body standpoint and emotional/ mental. These practices helped me to feel confident and strong in my pregnant body and set me up for success PP.
I’m 6 months PP wearing my pre-pregnancy bikinis. I think it is just so individual. My body after baby 1 was my best body. My body after baby 2 is similar but not exactly the same even though I’ve lost the weight and gotten back into shape… but I don’t think other people can see what I see, so I haven’t changed what I wear.
This is crazy. Let him get you a nice swimsuit and rock that on your honeymoon!
As someone who works out regularly and had a baby 17mo ago, my body was back into very good shape 7-8mo postpartum, I was in a bikini 4mo PP and was a bit soft but still felt fine in it. You also got no idea how long it’ll take to conceive. And you likely can wear that bikini while pregnant anyway. Only thing to be mindful of is that your ribcage may widen a bit during pregnancy and stay that way, so if you’re between sizes in something go for the bigger one. For me, I always liked a small top but now a medium feels better as I’m more of a 34-36 band size vs I used to be a 32. Good luck and have a fun trip! Stop listening to your coworkers and live life with the body you have now.
There are so many beautiful mom bodies!! Their bodies may look different, but that doesn't mean you can't rock a swimsuit. Maybe not RIGHT away, but if it takes 9 months to build your baby and body, it can take a while to feel comfortable again. I'd just buy the cute swimsuits and worry about it when the time comes. I am thankful for having a positive attitude during pregnancy and only saying nice things about my changing body.
For what it’s worth, I was of above average fitness before having babies (former athlete but not into CrossFit if you can imagine something like that). I lost all the baby weight after both of my pregnancies. Slowly. My clothes fit, but they don’t fit the *same*. There is some truth to what people say, but I would say the biggest factor is how comfortable and confident you are in your postpartum body. You grew and birthed a whole ass baby! You’re keeping a kid alive. That’s badass!
Your post was removed due to our rule against exact weight numbers. Weight gain during pregnancy can vary greatly person to person and we don't want people to try and compare to someone else's journey. Putting your weight gain and loss as a percentage is fine, (ie I lost 25% of what I gained in the first two weeks PP.) Things like 'gained more than expected' or 'I'm aiming to hit my doctor's recommended weight' are also fine.
Please edit or repost without the exact weight numbers.
I heard a lot of the same. I'm four months postpartum and slightly below pre-pregnancy weight. Only my most fitted clothes don't fit anymore because despite losing the weight my body has still changed a little. If you want it you can do it. I really like being fit and being the size that I am, so I made getting back to that work.
People tried to scare me about my body. Told me I would be ruined, saggy boobs, wouldn’t ever lose the baby weight etc. I’ve been weightlifting for 8 years and was determined to get back into shape after IVF, depression and pregnancy.
jokes on them, I’m 14 PP and in the best condition of my life. My body did change, my boobs are saggier and my tummy skin is not as tight as it was but I also have never looked better.
I made my recovery after baby a priority. I found a gym with a creche and I went out for walks with my daughter daily. I worked extremely hard to get back into shape and I’m very proud of my achievements (even though some times women make catty comments about my appearance now)
My coworker was heavy the whole time I knew her, and then I continued to follow her on social media after I left that job. She got pregnant with twins, had them, and then a year or two later I checked up on her and my god—she looks like a pop star in a music video. I guess she got into going to the gym after that and I don’t know how she does it but it’s definitely all natural. She’s an inspiration to me now that I’m pregnant lol.
I’m 4 months pp, a few lbs from pre pregnancy weight but also don’t have time to work out as much as we have to juggle who’s watching baby, when we need to feed baby since he’s EBF, and my son just doesn’t sleep. I wanted to deliver naturally, tried for 16 hours but it ended in an emergency c section so I have a gnarly scar, and another block scar above my c section because I had a bad reaction to the lidocaine patches the hospital gives you for pain. Really depends on your body, your delivery and your preference but I can no longer wear 2 pieces unless they’re high waisted due to my scarring.
I was very active in the gym before and after my pregnancy so I didn’t get very “big” outside of my actual bump which wasn’t huge either albeit our daughter was over 8lbs and I was back into my regular clothes 4 weeks out and my abs we’re back showing 12 weeks out. It’ll depend on you, your routine, and your body. Women who have negative things to say, usually had a negative experience and are putting those concerns on you. I’d focus on a healthy lifestyle while trying and maintaining it through the pregnancy.
Everyone is so right! Your body will change but it will not be destroyed, it’s up to you and your priorities to decide how to handle it. Not to mention there is a solution for everything these days. Invest in pelvic floor therapy, keep up with fitness and nutrition. There are many who get into the best shape of their life after having kids and worse case scenario plastic surgery is an option if you feel it’s right for you.
Also a lot of people find the first time they carry it takes a while to show. Depending on the timing of your holiday you might not even be showing. Chances are there’s no need to limit yourself now when your not pregnant just yet!
I’m sorry you feel this way about my post. It’s not absurd. I am aware that plenty of mothers look amazing in a swimsuit, but I have been surrounded by so much negativity and fear-mongering by people who I come in contact with daily at my job. That’s why I made this post, and many have been supportive, and felt the same way I have.
This depends on a lot of factors and no one can for sure say either way. How you carry, how much weight you gain, do you have a short/long torso etc. Do you continue to work on your fitness after baby? Etc I have a short torso, I carry all belly and show very early. My first gave me a million stretch marks on my stomach despite excessive moisturizing bc I constantly felt like my skin was being ripped apart. I felt like it took 2 years to get back to somewhat feeling normal but I also breastfed up until 18mths so I think that played a role. My boobs definitely ended up looking deflated but you’d only notice if I was naked. Just all the upper fullness got shifted to the bottom of my breasts. Blaming pregnancy/breastfeeding for that one. I definitely have loose skin on my lower stomach which my husband has told me if it really bothers me after this kiddo (#3 and last) we can do the whole tummy tuck thing but I’m not sure I want to deal with the recovery for that 😆 All of that being said, my husband still loves me and has a high sex drive despite all the physical changes over our 16years together. I also wouldn’t choose to not have our kiddos. Go ahead and splurge on the nice suit :) worst case you only wear it one summer and can donate it. (Personally I wear my two pieces at home but don’t in public just not personally confident enough for that but if you are going to for it!)
Thank you for this kind and honest feedback! You sound like a lovely person
People’s bodies are different, but get the swimsuits. Don’t live in the zone of I might be pregnant any day. It sucks. I spent 2+ years not doing things while trying to conceive and I have so much regret around that. I’m now pregnant and gloriously happy, but I just feel like I wasted 2 years saying no thank you because I might be pregnant any day.
Came here to make this comment in case it wasn’t her already! Well stated Maleficent.
This is a really good point. Thank you for your honesty and for pointing that out for me!
People tried to scare me about all sorts of things when I was I first married and then pregnant. I would no longer have a fit body, a clean house, a gym routine, or find time to cook healthy meals. All of the above weren’t true. People love to blame their lack of effort or prioritization on having kids rather than what it really is. The first 6 months were wild but after that things started looking more and more like my life before kids, just with a kid added to the mix. I still work out, my body still looks mostly the same (took over a year to feel this way), my house is just as clean, and I cook the same amount as before. If you are someone who really prioritizes these things before pregnancy and you are motivated to continue, you can do it.
Absolutely this. Fitness is really important to my husband and I, and it has been our entire lives, even before we met each other. My SIL’s friend (who has never really been kind to me in the first place) told us one day while on a group vacation that once you get married and have kids and have a house that things will change. I got frustrated pretty quickly and told her that people prioritize what is important to them—and reminded her that I already had a son so I was no stranger to kids and fitness balancing. If watching television or playing on your phone is important to you, it’s what you’re going to do. It’s up to you to choose what’s important. And truthfully—I was thinner and in better shape after I had my son than before. My body just held weight differently, and it was awesome.
This was definitely comforting. Thank you!!
100% and if it’s something that you valued before and your partner is supportive, they will create time for you to do so postpartum.
Ditto this! If it's important to you, you'll make it work. I started counting macros 9 months postpartum and ended up getting well below my pre baby weight by eating healthy and exercising. You will most certainly be able to wear your bikinis again. Enjoy your honeymoon!
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Your post was removed due to our rule against exact weight numbers. Weight gain during pregnancy can vary greatly person to person and we don't want people to try and compare to someone else's journey. Putting your weight gain and loss as a percentage is fine, (ie I lost 25% of what I gained in the first two weeks PP.) Things like 'gained more than expected' or 'I'm aiming to hit my doctor's recommended weight' are also fine. Please edit or repost without the exact weight numbers.
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Your defensiveness is a you problem, not a me problem. Where did I say anything about boobs changing being anyone’s fault or any of the other nonsense you are extrapolated from my post in this response? I said I prioritized things such as working out before kids and kept doing so after kids and that it’s possible for others to do the same. I don’t owe you any sort of explanation but I was 35 when I had my first with an emergency c-section that knocked me on my ass, a colicky baby allergic to a dozen things, and had a very difficult 11 month long breastfeeding journey. But that’s not what OP was asking about. She was asking if it’s inevitable that she will have an incredibly different body and I gave her an anecdote that it isn’t. This was someone looking for reassurance not a measurement stick of who had the hardest pregnancy and postpartum. Read the room and chill the f^ck out.
Your post was removed as it was in violation of Rule 1: Be Respectful to your fellow redditors
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People love to scare new moms about everything. "Enjoy your sleep while you can!" "You'll never have alone time ever again!" "Your body is going to be forever changed!" And sure, sometimes those things are all true, but they're definitely not always true or true all the time or true for everyone. Take it all with a grain of salt! As far as swimsuits go, it's up to you! I could wear the same swim suits that I wore before kids, but for the most part I do not because they're just not practical. I don't enjoy wearing a cheeky bikini bottom while I am playing with my toddler in the pool and my baby will try to pull my top down if I am not wearing something really secure/fuller coverage on top.
I’m working on taking these things with a grain of salt! Not sure if you saw in my post, but I’ve heard this “just wait” crap for *years* even when I was single! So I’m conditioned to believe that my life is over. I love your kindness and your honesty. I also love that you’re going for a skimpier bottom :) Thank you!
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Wonderful! And I know it’s not the bikini itself, it’s more of him buying me an expensive one and never being able to wear it again.
Yeah I definitely haven’t bought any jeans since getting pregnant juuuust in case but my whole wardrobe is the same size so I am very motivated to fit back into it
Your post was removed due to our rule against exact weight numbers. Weight gain during pregnancy can vary greatly person to person and we don't want people to try and compare to someone else's journey. Putting your weight gain and loss as a percentage is fine, (ie I lost 25% of what I gained in the first two weeks PP.) Things like 'gained more than expected' or 'I'm aiming to hit my doctor's recommended weight' are also fine. Please edit or repost without the exact weight numbers.
To quote Zoolander, there’s more to life than being really really ridiculously good looking.
Of course. But being told that my body would be “wrecked and destroyed” is not comforting.
Now is a good time to learn that with everything babies and child-related, people are going to have all kinds of opinions you don’t need to listen to.
Working on this currently. You are absolutely right. It’s hard.
There seems to be a lot more negativity around pregnancy, motherhood, etc. these days and not just in regard to the physical impact on a mother’s body. I don’t have personal experience with your question because I’m currently pregnant with our first. But I had the same worries and came to the conclusion that my body is going to change with age regardless. So I’d rather not walk on eggshells worrying about it. Buy the swimsuit. Take nice pictures in it. You are worth the splurge even if it doesn’t fit in a year or two.
2.5 months postpartum I fit comfortably into the bikini that I had worn 6 years earlier on my honeymoon. I also ended up buying another bikini that was a little cheekier than I’d usually wear just because this is probably the last year I won’t be chasing after a toddler and doing lots of bending etc. I say do whatever you want to do and don’t let people scare you! I was terrified because of all of the things people told me would happen to my body. I wish I hadn’t listened because it caused all kinds of unnecessary extra stress. People love to say “just you wait…” about everything when you’re pregnant. Whether it’s about how your body will change, how your free time will change, or your relationship, just try to let it go in one ear and out the other ❤️
If you have loose skin on your stomach, will you not want to wear a cute swimsuit? Your body will probably change, yeah, but it's up to you to decide whether you'll feel "destroyed" and like you need to cover up, or you'll just feel that your body looks different but still want to wear the same swimwear. I had a lot of weight loss when I was younger and have always had loose skin on my stomach and a saggy frowny belly button but I wear two piece suits anyway
I think it’s less of the idea of feeling confident, and more of will the dang thing have the potential to fit me ever again.
Hey OP. I’ve struggled with body images issues and disordered eating habits my whole entire life. I am currently 33 weeks pregnant and this is the most positive I’ve ever felt about my body. Has it changed? Yes of course. My areolas are dark and large. My stomach has some stretch marks, I have cellulite now which I havnt before and my face/jawline is much less defined. My hips have widened, my boobs are about 2 sizes bigger. This is all very normal. Something in my brain switched when I became pregnant, I’m THANKFUL that my body can do this. I love that I’m growing my son. There’s so much more to life than worrying about a perfect body or fitting into a prepartum swim suit or clothes. Don’t let it deter you from having babies. Your partner should also be understanding that your body will change and some changes permanently but he should see it as beautiful and honestly inspiring. It’s nice to look at your body in a new light. For me it’s almost healing, Ive always been hypercritical of myself. My body may not be on a cover of a magazine, but it’s growing my son and that’s so beautiful. I hope the thinking for you will be the same and I’m sorry people say their body was destroyed and it’s affected you. The way I see it, my body is different, but it’s okay. As long as I eat healthy and try to be active when I’m healed and ready that’s all I should focus on. I don’t expect to go back into my pre partum clothes and I think putting that on yourself can be really harmful ❤️ wishing you all the best in your journey.
Thank you for this beautifully written statement. Best of luck to you too 🤍
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way! I think this is a good time to talk to a therapist. It's normal to be a little nervous about how pregnancy might affect your body but this feels like very unhealthy and dangerous spiraling.
I have a therapist. I just don’t know what else to think about myself since everyone has scared me so terribly.
It might be a good idea to work on developing better coping strategies to deal with the endless amount of negative information out there instead of letting is seep too far into your thoughts. Yes, your body will change. Some of it is out of your hands but a lot of it really depends on how healthy you are going into pregnancy. Control what you can and let go of what you can't control.
I am fitter now than before I had kids. I workout four times a week and I never skip it. My fridge is always full and we eat actual meals three times a day, together. I go to sleep earlier. I stopped drinking alcohol and my husband got into meditation. I argue that kids make you healthier!
My son is 2. I am more fit now than I was pre-baby and suddenly need to buy new suits because all my pre-baby suits no longer fit! Life is long and your body will change as you age no matter what. But a baby is a pretty good reason for your body to change, if you think about it. I felt similarly to you before I got pregnant. Going through that process made me confront a lot of difficult body issues. I used to spend sooo much time stressing about my looks. Now I realize that there is so much more to life than that. I feel like I came out the other side with a more healthy mindset.
Watching your body change during pregnancy is both exciting and scary. It’s the fear of the unknown. I can say with 100% truth my body is pretty much exactly the same at 10 months postpartum as it was pre pregnancy. I weigh the same, I have the same pant size etc. my belly button looks a wee bit different and I have my c section scar which I’m very proud of. Everyone is different, but it’s not all gloom and doom for everyone. Exercise, eat right, and it’s the best you can do. And enjoy your pregnancy as much as you can. I found everyone is over the top nice to pregnant ladies!
This was comforting, thank you!
🤗hugs. Buy the suit 😊 our bodies are pretty amazing.
I wore my prebaby bikinis both during pregnancy and after. currently pregnant with my second, and still wearing them! I think it's a sweet gesture for your husband to gift you some nice swimsuits. you should take advantage and enjoy them, especially since you are going to be trying soon, and not pregnant yet. you might have some time before your body starts changing, or you might be like me and just keep making use of your swimwear! good luck with trying and have fun on your honeymoon!
I wore my prebaby bikinis both during pregnancy and after. currently pregnant with my second, and still wearing them! I think it's a sweet gesture for your husband to gift you some nice swimsuits. you should take advantage and enjoy them, especially since you are going to be trying soon, and not pregnant yet. you might have some time before your body starts changing, or you might be like me and just keep making use of your swimwear! good luck with trying and have fun on your honeymoon!
To be honest, your coworkers are being pretty rude. Yes, your body changes but it’s because it accomplished something awesome and many people are able to be happy with their bodies after having kids even if they don’t look exactly the same as they did before a baby. Also having permanent changes from pregnancy is not the same thing as your “body being destroyed”. As far as swimsuits go, it’s going to be very dependent on your comfort level. You may be fine showing off some stretch marks (depending on if you get them) you may not. No right or wrong decision on that either. Keep in mind though that they may not fit the same even if you lose all your pregnancy weight and look fit again. Your hips and ribcage widen during pregnancy and it can be permanent to some degree. Last weekend I wore an old swimsuit (currently 7 months postpartum) and the bottoms fit fine but the top was a bit tight. This was partly due to my ribcage still being slightly wider and also because I’m breastfeeding so my boobs are way different than before.
Thank you for your honesty and for this wholly kind statement too 🤍
I’m 8 months postpartum, but right now I really feel like pregnancy destroyed my body. I spent so much of my life worrying about being fat when I wasn’t. Now I wish I just wore the bikini bc I truly cannot now with my stretch marks and apron belly. I might look into a tummy tuck if my lower abdominals won’t heal more and I can lose a bit more weight. That said, I do fit into some of my pre pregnancy swim, they just don’t look good. I think you should get a nice swimsuit and enjoy it. Maybe it’ll fit again, maybe it won’t. You shouldn’t cut back on joy now in anticipation of something that might happen.
Thank you for your honesty! And for your wholesome advice
I mean, probably not “destroyed” but very likely different. Whether you want to wear a bikini again is entirely a personal decision. I’m 3 months postpartum, worked out and ate well throughout my pregnancy, and my body is definitely different and bigger right now. I am working on being comfortable with it and patient with myself. It’s so different person to person so I wouldn’t let it hold you back from enjoying a nice swimsuit for now.
I’m 8 months pp and back in all my old clothes. I weigh less than I did before pregnancy but I do have less muscle. I would say I look slightly different but I have a different appreciation for my body now so it sort of doesn’t matter as much, if that makes sense?
I am only 6 months pp, but from where I am standing diastasis recti has wrecked my stomach/core. The rest of my body is more or less the same but I would not be caught dead in a bikini right now….i still look pregnant with a bulging stomach and persistent outie belly button courtesy of an umbilical hernia. I am in PT but may need surgery given the hernia among other things. I am probably on the unlucky side, but def not a given you will go back. I was in very good shape before and am generally a healthy person. Have not touched my pre pregnancy swimsuits and most of my pre pregnancy clothes. Slowly giving up and forming another wardrobe for now. Don’t buy the bikinis for longevity but buy them to enjoy your current hot bod. A hot bod tomorrow is not promised haha.
Buy the swimsuit and take lots of pics in it!!! I am 7 weeks post partum and would probably fit in my old swim suits and fit in my dresses. I almost fit in my jeans but I do think I’m gonna have to go up a pants size or 2 (I started at 00/XS everything). It’s important to just live in the moment with these things and not plan for something you can’t predict!
Like everyone else said, it's prioritizing yourself. I am a much better mom when I'm fit and have energy. So I made it a point to workout consistently after kids. My boobs went downslope, and I have a stomach crease that won't go away because sometimes I like pizza dammit. I'm 40 pregnant with kiddo 3 and I'll wear 2 pieces until I feel like I don't want to. This body formed and housed now 3 babies and I'll be damned if I feel any shame in that. That said, I'd really love to lift the boobs back to the starting line
I love this! Thank you!!
I’m due in September and still wearing several of my nice swimsuits from pre-pregnancy
You go girl!!
Your body won’t be “destroyed.” But it’ll most likely be different! If it were me, I’d save the nice swimsuit present for after you give birth as a way of welcoming your new body.
That’s a great idea. Thank you for your input!
Wore all my pre baby bikinis and looked better in them!
Welp, okay then!! That makes me feel like there is hope! :)
Thank you for asking this! I’m a first time mom, 10 weeks, and terrified of this. I put off becoming a mother for a long time bc I didn’t think I could handle the changes to my physique
Okay first off, f those people. Yes your body changes but it doesn’t get destroyed. It temporarily feels that way after birth, your belly feels hollow and soft because it made room for a child, some women get stretch marks (genetic) but microneedling can allegedly combat that. I actually love my body more now than when I was only focused on being fit. I still enjoy being fit, but that’s not the only thing that matters and this will make sense to you when you become a mom yourself - in a positive way. I can fit into most of my pre baby things at 14 months PP but my hips are wider which I like, my boobs are bigger which I like, my body has changed and it’s not in a bad way, my lady bits are the same and I even tore, my bathing suits still fit but they looks very skimpy now which who cares, but my daughter will grab my top and pull a boob out so I’ll wear more conservative bathing suits when we’re on family boating trips with in laws etc., just because it makes ME more comfortable knowing I won’t be flashing the family. First year after having a baby is hard, but it gets progressively easier and your heart grows fuller.
I totally get the not wanting to waste the money on wearing a swimsuit for such a short period to time. But the thing is, you nor none of us can know ahead of time if your body will fit into post baby. But also, life is short to maybe wearing an amazing swimsuit for even a short period of time is worth it for your happiness :)
The “just you wait” comments are projection from other people. You’ll also get those pertaining to parenthood… Easier said than done, but try to block out that noise from other people and know that just because a person has a certain experience, doesn’t mean yours will be anything like that! Some tips: Stay active during your pregnancy in ways that make you feel good both physically and mentally. On days where you’re exhausted practice deep belly breathing and yoga / gentle type movement. Make a ritual out of moisturizing your body with coconut/ jojoba / rose hip oil - all are deeply moisturizing and can help with stretch marks. You can also use this time to use mantra and positive affirmation for your body& self. Stay really hydrated and focus on high protein and nutrient dense food. Spend extra time on self breast massage! It can help with lifting and firming the breasts. Also, focusing on chest specific exercises like incline bench press, incline dumbbell press, cable crossovers, cable flys, push-ups/ modified push-ups will build the chest muscles and lift the breasts as well. I’m currently 2 weeks PP. I was lifting until 3 days before I delivered. I ate high protein my entire pregnancy as well to help keep a more balanced body composition and am still doing so PP. no exercise for a few more weeks, but I’m doing long walks with baby and feel great. Yes there are things like widening of the ribs that can physiologically/ structurally change, but that doesn’t mean you can’t or won’t have a fit and awesome PP body! Just remember to take it slow and honor your 4th trimester PP, focus on core / pelvic floor rehabilitation during that time and ease into your fitness routine. All of the tips mentioned above were really important for me throughout my pregnancy from a body standpoint and emotional/ mental. These practices helped me to feel confident and strong in my pregnant body and set me up for success PP.
I’m 6 months PP wearing my pre-pregnancy bikinis. I think it is just so individual. My body after baby 1 was my best body. My body after baby 2 is similar but not exactly the same even though I’ve lost the weight and gotten back into shape… but I don’t think other people can see what I see, so I haven’t changed what I wear.
This is crazy. Let him get you a nice swimsuit and rock that on your honeymoon! As someone who works out regularly and had a baby 17mo ago, my body was back into very good shape 7-8mo postpartum, I was in a bikini 4mo PP and was a bit soft but still felt fine in it. You also got no idea how long it’ll take to conceive. And you likely can wear that bikini while pregnant anyway. Only thing to be mindful of is that your ribcage may widen a bit during pregnancy and stay that way, so if you’re between sizes in something go for the bigger one. For me, I always liked a small top but now a medium feels better as I’m more of a 34-36 band size vs I used to be a 32. Good luck and have a fun trip! Stop listening to your coworkers and live life with the body you have now.
Thank you for your awesome input and advice!!
There are so many beautiful mom bodies!! Their bodies may look different, but that doesn't mean you can't rock a swimsuit. Maybe not RIGHT away, but if it takes 9 months to build your baby and body, it can take a while to feel comfortable again. I'd just buy the cute swimsuits and worry about it when the time comes. I am thankful for having a positive attitude during pregnancy and only saying nice things about my changing body.
For what it’s worth, I was of above average fitness before having babies (former athlete but not into CrossFit if you can imagine something like that). I lost all the baby weight after both of my pregnancies. Slowly. My clothes fit, but they don’t fit the *same*. There is some truth to what people say, but I would say the biggest factor is how comfortable and confident you are in your postpartum body. You grew and birthed a whole ass baby! You’re keeping a kid alive. That’s badass!
70 comments and zero upvotes? Vicious.
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Your post was removed due to our rule against exact weight numbers. Weight gain during pregnancy can vary greatly person to person and we don't want people to try and compare to someone else's journey. Putting your weight gain and loss as a percentage is fine, (ie I lost 25% of what I gained in the first two weeks PP.) Things like 'gained more than expected' or 'I'm aiming to hit my doctor's recommended weight' are also fine. Please edit or repost without the exact weight numbers.
I heard a lot of the same. I'm four months postpartum and slightly below pre-pregnancy weight. Only my most fitted clothes don't fit anymore because despite losing the weight my body has still changed a little. If you want it you can do it. I really like being fit and being the size that I am, so I made getting back to that work.
People tried to scare me about my body. Told me I would be ruined, saggy boobs, wouldn’t ever lose the baby weight etc. I’ve been weightlifting for 8 years and was determined to get back into shape after IVF, depression and pregnancy. jokes on them, I’m 14 PP and in the best condition of my life. My body did change, my boobs are saggier and my tummy skin is not as tight as it was but I also have never looked better. I made my recovery after baby a priority. I found a gym with a creche and I went out for walks with my daughter daily. I worked extremely hard to get back into shape and I’m very proud of my achievements (even though some times women make catty comments about my appearance now)
My coworker was heavy the whole time I knew her, and then I continued to follow her on social media after I left that job. She got pregnant with twins, had them, and then a year or two later I checked up on her and my god—she looks like a pop star in a music video. I guess she got into going to the gym after that and I don’t know how she does it but it’s definitely all natural. She’s an inspiration to me now that I’m pregnant lol.
I’m 4 months pp, a few lbs from pre pregnancy weight but also don’t have time to work out as much as we have to juggle who’s watching baby, when we need to feed baby since he’s EBF, and my son just doesn’t sleep. I wanted to deliver naturally, tried for 16 hours but it ended in an emergency c section so I have a gnarly scar, and another block scar above my c section because I had a bad reaction to the lidocaine patches the hospital gives you for pain. Really depends on your body, your delivery and your preference but I can no longer wear 2 pieces unless they’re high waisted due to my scarring.
I was very active in the gym before and after my pregnancy so I didn’t get very “big” outside of my actual bump which wasn’t huge either albeit our daughter was over 8lbs and I was back into my regular clothes 4 weeks out and my abs we’re back showing 12 weeks out. It’ll depend on you, your routine, and your body. Women who have negative things to say, usually had a negative experience and are putting those concerns on you. I’d focus on a healthy lifestyle while trying and maintaining it through the pregnancy.
Everyone is so right! Your body will change but it will not be destroyed, it’s up to you and your priorities to decide how to handle it. Not to mention there is a solution for everything these days. Invest in pelvic floor therapy, keep up with fitness and nutrition. There are many who get into the best shape of their life after having kids and worse case scenario plastic surgery is an option if you feel it’s right for you. Also a lot of people find the first time they carry it takes a while to show. Depending on the timing of your holiday you might not even be showing. Chances are there’s no need to limit yourself now when your not pregnant just yet!
I’m sorry but are you serious? There are plenty of women with kids (multiple!) who look fantastic in a swimsuit. The premise of your post is absurd.
I’m sorry you feel this way about my post. It’s not absurd. I am aware that plenty of mothers look amazing in a swimsuit, but I have been surrounded by so much negativity and fear-mongering by people who I come in contact with daily at my job. That’s why I made this post, and many have been supportive, and felt the same way I have.