I'm about to turn 54 and hit 15 years on T this year.
About 3 years ago I was put on a low dose blood pressure med as well as a low dose cholesterol med.
I've been able to lower my cholesterol med further by cleaning up my diet a bit.
These are the only "adverse side effects" I've experienced since starting T, and I have zero proof of belief that T is the culprit.
And you could have gotten both of those issues with just age too, its not even necessaily that T caused that.
Ive also had high blood pressure issues and how I get that under control is simply losing weight, and back to perfect health. (Im not on T yet, my point was just that theres so many other causes and its not necessaily T)
Yep, that was my point:
>....These are the only "adverse side effects" I've experienced since starting T, **and I have zero proof of belief that T is the culprit.**
I showed my parents some trans guys that are thriving in their lives ie. healthy, married, successful whatever bs that gets parents excited basically. If you can’t introduce these people irl there’s tons of fantastic YouTubers, activists etc. good luck dude not sure if this’ll help in ur situation but it really helped my mom wrap her head around it.
Not op but similar situation, do you mind naming a few of these YouTubers? I’ve watched a few over the years like Ty Turner and Jamie Dodger, but have had a hard time finding some binary ftm YouTubers who can explain dysphoria and transition well.
Not the person you asked lol, but I liked Arthur Rockwell, not a huge channel but it’s just pure trans positivity. The guy is doing PhD (or Masters? I’m not sure) now
To be honest, you might not be able to persuade her with facts and reason because her rationale/resistance is likely emotional. But some forms for information that might be helpful: informed consent forms listing all of the changes associated with T and assuring her you’ve considered all of them, exposing her to books or videos by people who’ve been in HRT a long time and showing her how “normal”/healthy those folks are, and reminding her that little about modern medicine is “natural” and it is unfair to hold T to a different standard. Is she on any long term meds? Does she wear glasses or contacts? Those aren’t natural but I bet they improve her quality of life.
Men go thru puberty fueled by testosterone n they’re completely fine.
Both genders have both hormones, just one more than the other. Same shit just reversed.
her feelings are not your responsibility and you cannot change how she feels, you can only guide her and hope she follows and she will change how she feels with understanding.
is she scientific minded? showing her strong scientific consensus of transgender people being treated improving their lives might help. will she listen more to sentimental stories and stuff? maybe have her watch/read some wholesome/heart warming stories of trans men so she realizes they are not self-hating or regretful but thriving.
you can also try reasoning with her on -- well what's the alternative? if you don't take T, what will your life look like? what regrets are you going to have? certain depression/anxiety or the chance to get on with your life? maybe express your view on the future once you have T and can pass as a man; what do you hope/dream for? what are you going to work towards? non-gender related goals might help communicate that you want to thrive, but you need to get past this obstacle of gender first or something
idk, it's not easy. just some ideas here, but hope it works out for you.
I mean I feel like Id say Im gonna doe anyway, in the meantime may as well live in a way that actually makes me happy.
T is only dangerous in excessive amounts and the point of going to a doctor to get it and why you shouldnt take T without guidance is exactly because of that.
Also if T kills like that, why not give all cis men T blockers?
Okay, I work in advocacy and dispel this myth *all the time*
Potential known “severe” risks are things that you would be aware of *immediately*- like an allergic reaction to the carrier oil. That’s just the low risk with any medication in existence.
Half the population has a testosterone dominant endocrine system. Your body naturally has testosterone in it and you have all the testosterone receptors already. This is kinda like being worried about severe risks from a blood transfusion. Sure, there are fluke cases where something might occur, but, that doesn’t mean blood is dangerous.
Dominant sex hormones are a big factor in metabolic health risks, so, your risk of developing high blood pressure increases and risk of hair loss increases. Meanwhile, your risk of developing high cholesterol and dementia decreases. These are statistical risk correlations though, not testosterone “causing” high blood pressure or estrogen “causing” high cholesterol. Factors like family history, health history, lifestyle, etc are still all of equal importance. And again, we’re talking about two halves of the entire human population. Being alive has risk factors. That’s just the ballgame.
There’s been zero data to support the idea that supplementary testosterone in men with low T (cis or trans- all the same treatment) changes the overall health picture from that of men with adequate testosterone produced via gonadal structure. Unless you’re allergic to the route of medication delivery, doesn’t matter *how* your T levels get to standard male range.
Have her look up unbiased studies/articles that have been accepted by the AMA and other such well respected medical institutions. There are several such studies going back at least a couple decades. Have her research testosterone effects on AFAB folks that take the prescribed amount of testosterone.
My mom was super concerned about side effects and stuff, and even after going over how it's literally a natural hormone and will only raise any health risks to the same level that my brother experiences. I compared it to her taking hormones to balance everything out, and that I was just trying to balance things out for myself. I think the fact that I would be getting labs done every 6 months to make sure everything was good helped too, as there's something that's measurable and objective to check.
I think a lot of her fear was that I was going to completely change and everything was going to happen so fast, and she wasn't really able to articulate that side of it. I was in a position that I was able to start with low dose as a compromise, and I would make a point to talk about changes as they happened, and how much I enjoyed them. Over time (and with my brother's help), she realized that I'm still the exact same person and I'm not going to change, and seeing how much I've enjoyed the journey and how I haven't had any side effects. She's relaxed a ton and I'm on a higher dose now.
By the time top surgery came around she wanted to be the one to drive me to and from, and decided that as well as making me happy, it was like a beast cancer prophylactic since I've had a few aunts effected.
I hope your mom comes around and is able to relax and understand that this is a gradual process that can be adjusted, and that you'll always be her kid, just happier and healthier.
I'm about to turn 54 and hit 15 years on T this year. About 3 years ago I was put on a low dose blood pressure med as well as a low dose cholesterol med. I've been able to lower my cholesterol med further by cleaning up my diet a bit. These are the only "adverse side effects" I've experienced since starting T, and I have zero proof of belief that T is the culprit.
And you could have gotten both of those issues with just age too, its not even necessaily that T caused that. Ive also had high blood pressure issues and how I get that under control is simply losing weight, and back to perfect health. (Im not on T yet, my point was just that theres so many other causes and its not necessaily T)
Yep, that was my point: >....These are the only "adverse side effects" I've experienced since starting T, **and I have zero proof of belief that T is the culprit.**
The risks are only elevated to that of a cis man that’s it, it’s literally no different then if you’d been born biologically male.
I showed my parents some trans guys that are thriving in their lives ie. healthy, married, successful whatever bs that gets parents excited basically. If you can’t introduce these people irl there’s tons of fantastic YouTubers, activists etc. good luck dude not sure if this’ll help in ur situation but it really helped my mom wrap her head around it.
Not op but similar situation, do you mind naming a few of these YouTubers? I’ve watched a few over the years like Ty Turner and Jamie Dodger, but have had a hard time finding some binary ftm YouTubers who can explain dysphoria and transition well.
Not the person you asked lol, but I liked Arthur Rockwell, not a huge channel but it’s just pure trans positivity. The guy is doing PhD (or Masters? I’m not sure) now
Okay great thank you I will check him out!
Check out Leo and Willy, Leo is FTM and Willy is CIS F in relationship and very real
To be honest, you might not be able to persuade her with facts and reason because her rationale/resistance is likely emotional. But some forms for information that might be helpful: informed consent forms listing all of the changes associated with T and assuring her you’ve considered all of them, exposing her to books or videos by people who’ve been in HRT a long time and showing her how “normal”/healthy those folks are, and reminding her that little about modern medicine is “natural” and it is unfair to hold T to a different standard. Is she on any long term meds? Does she wear glasses or contacts? Those aren’t natural but I bet they improve her quality of life.
Men go thru puberty fueled by testosterone n they’re completely fine. Both genders have both hormones, just one more than the other. Same shit just reversed.
her feelings are not your responsibility and you cannot change how she feels, you can only guide her and hope she follows and she will change how she feels with understanding. is she scientific minded? showing her strong scientific consensus of transgender people being treated improving their lives might help. will she listen more to sentimental stories and stuff? maybe have her watch/read some wholesome/heart warming stories of trans men so she realizes they are not self-hating or regretful but thriving. you can also try reasoning with her on -- well what's the alternative? if you don't take T, what will your life look like? what regrets are you going to have? certain depression/anxiety or the chance to get on with your life? maybe express your view on the future once you have T and can pass as a man; what do you hope/dream for? what are you going to work towards? non-gender related goals might help communicate that you want to thrive, but you need to get past this obstacle of gender first or something idk, it's not easy. just some ideas here, but hope it works out for you.
I mean I feel like Id say Im gonna doe anyway, in the meantime may as well live in a way that actually makes me happy. T is only dangerous in excessive amounts and the point of going to a doctor to get it and why you shouldnt take T without guidance is exactly because of that. Also if T kills like that, why not give all cis men T blockers?
Okay, I work in advocacy and dispel this myth *all the time* Potential known “severe” risks are things that you would be aware of *immediately*- like an allergic reaction to the carrier oil. That’s just the low risk with any medication in existence. Half the population has a testosterone dominant endocrine system. Your body naturally has testosterone in it and you have all the testosterone receptors already. This is kinda like being worried about severe risks from a blood transfusion. Sure, there are fluke cases where something might occur, but, that doesn’t mean blood is dangerous. Dominant sex hormones are a big factor in metabolic health risks, so, your risk of developing high blood pressure increases and risk of hair loss increases. Meanwhile, your risk of developing high cholesterol and dementia decreases. These are statistical risk correlations though, not testosterone “causing” high blood pressure or estrogen “causing” high cholesterol. Factors like family history, health history, lifestyle, etc are still all of equal importance. And again, we’re talking about two halves of the entire human population. Being alive has risk factors. That’s just the ballgame. There’s been zero data to support the idea that supplementary testosterone in men with low T (cis or trans- all the same treatment) changes the overall health picture from that of men with adequate testosterone produced via gonadal structure. Unless you’re allergic to the route of medication delivery, doesn’t matter *how* your T levels get to standard male range.
Have her look up unbiased studies/articles that have been accepted by the AMA and other such well respected medical institutions. There are several such studies going back at least a couple decades. Have her research testosterone effects on AFAB folks that take the prescribed amount of testosterone.
My mom was super concerned about side effects and stuff, and even after going over how it's literally a natural hormone and will only raise any health risks to the same level that my brother experiences. I compared it to her taking hormones to balance everything out, and that I was just trying to balance things out for myself. I think the fact that I would be getting labs done every 6 months to make sure everything was good helped too, as there's something that's measurable and objective to check. I think a lot of her fear was that I was going to completely change and everything was going to happen so fast, and she wasn't really able to articulate that side of it. I was in a position that I was able to start with low dose as a compromise, and I would make a point to talk about changes as they happened, and how much I enjoyed them. Over time (and with my brother's help), she realized that I'm still the exact same person and I'm not going to change, and seeing how much I've enjoyed the journey and how I haven't had any side effects. She's relaxed a ton and I'm on a higher dose now. By the time top surgery came around she wanted to be the one to drive me to and from, and decided that as well as making me happy, it was like a beast cancer prophylactic since I've had a few aunts effected. I hope your mom comes around and is able to relax and understand that this is a gradual process that can be adjusted, and that you'll always be her kid, just happier and healthier.
I tell people transition is largely the same as a cis boy going through puberty. They manage alright.