ive always presented very androgynous ever since i chopped my hair pre-t the summer before freshman year, though id still get misgendered a lot. it was seldom that id be accidentally gendered correctly
once i started T, i was able to pass better— unsure when the turning point was for me, but im 3 months in and my friend who i visited in a different state a week or two ago said her friend's conservative grandma i met didn't know i was trans and said i seemed like a nice young man. so.... win, i guess?
i will say, any facial hair + voice drop is usually a big passing factor in my experience as well, but YMMV
Sadly, I never did. Even when I started T, cut my hair, and wore baggy clothes; I always got called she/her and “ma’am.” It really bugs me a lot that even when I try to present as manly as possible, I still get called a woman.
It genuinely started to hurt and made me think I’d never be a man. It still happens all the time. Like all the time. Never once been called “sir” or he/him by ppl who didn’t know I was trans. But packing helped my dysphoria a lot.
I have always been pretty masculine, but i had huge boobs (if only i had been cis I would have had a huge pickle instead *sigh*) and very young children would ask their parents if I was a boy or a girl. I don't blame them, 4-6 year olds are curious and have no filter.
As soon as I had top surgery I started passing 99.99% of the time.
Same - it doesn’t really bother me because it is rare and I do pass the vast majority of times. I also find it happens more when I’m alone for some reason - it’s really rare I get misgendered when I’m with someone else. Luckily!
I started semi-passing before even realising I was trans. Got some "are you a boy or a girl?" comments and one time while in the pool locker rooms a girl told me she thought I was a boy until that day. As soon as I started socially transitioning (wearing a binder and only "boy" clothes), I passed 100% but often got mistaken for a 14 y/o despite being 18 :'). After like one or two years on T I also started to pass as an adult lol.
After about 1.5 years. I have long hair, so if someone doesn't see my face or hear me speak, they often misgender me, which doesn't bother me. I make a point of making eye contact with waiters and speaking to them clearly after they refer to me as a madam or lady, and the look on their face is often priceless :)
I went stealth about 3.5 months on T. I’m almost a year on and I definitely do still get clocked by trans/LGBTQ+ people, but largely people in my life do not know I’m trans. I semi-passed before T. It was pretty normal when I was younger, but as I got older pre-T, I started to pass less.
About 3.5 years on T.
I could pass pre-T when I was under 20 but it was over 15 years ago. Back then gender nonconformity was very rare and it was just way easier to pass.
Pre-T as soon as I cut my hair short. Never got called female in public again, which was quite jarring, as I was fully prepared to get misgendered a lot for a bit.
Not really? I'm from a college town in the Midwest. My high school had at least a dozen other trans people that I knew of. Graduated and started college in a large liberal city in the south. Despite attending a religious school, there is a sizable queer/trans student population.
I was probably about a year on T when I started passing consistently? But I did also start T in October of 2019, so there was a pretty decent portion of time when I was uh. *Out of public eye* LOL
when i cut my hair when i was like.. idk.. 11 ?people called me he/him most of the time, now after few years i do past most of the time, but i haven’t started T yet
I’m almost 6 months on t, finally, and my voice has changed quite a bit. But still easy to clock unless I deepen it intentionally. But I’ve found now I pass more than I ever have. I go to the men’s restroom, sometimes, and it’s easy. I get called “bud, sir, man, he” quite frequently actually. It’s beautiful. I love manhood.
I hear ya brother. It’s kinda killing me to see so many sub-1 year answers when I’ve been on it for 2 and can’t pass bc of long hair 🥲 but if I cut it I get called a lesbian instead
When I started actually growing a bit of stubble pre T
I got good at colouring it
And already had my voice and wardrobe down
Still very occasionally get misgendered from distances because my hair is long and I look rather young
Hoping that over time, T will help me out a bit more
For me it was 50/50 pre t. And 100% by three months.
The only questions I’ve had regarding my gender is I’ve had a few people think I was closeted transfem and asked about it.
id say about 8 months on T. i’m now a year on T and i don’t really remember the last time i got she/her or ma’am. my facial hair is definitely a huge factor, others say my voice is too but i don’t really think so (then again i hear it every day so 🤷🏻♂️)
it’s weird for me because pre T to even right now i get called sir like 3/10 times? but all the other times i get misgendered probably because my hair is a little shorter than shoulder length and still femme ish. i think it’s my style (i dress like a dude) and i have a masculine facial shape and i lowkey have a tiny tiny mustache so i look very androgynous. but im hoping the T will make me less androgynous and more … man lol. i’m only 3 weeks on T but we’ll see.
Pre T- almost never. Maybe 5% of the time but only as a young boy.
6 months on T- about 50:50, still mostly as a young boy
1 year on T: 80% passing, mostly as a late teen boy
Post top surgery, 15 months T (now): haven’t had anyone misgender me since the surgery. People definitely still think I’m 15 though. Once the beard starts coming through and now I’m
back in the gym, hopefully I will at some point look like an adult man. I also plan to get a shit load more tattoos as soon as I can afford it.
I was about 50/50 in December at 4 months on T. I’ve been misgendered MAYBE once since top surgery in February.
And i was starting with about as fem as you can get, especially my voice.
I passed on occasion (at first glance) pre-T after cutting my hair short and changing my wardrobe but I didn't pass consistently until I was a few months on T. My voice dropped very quickly so I started passing really soon after starting T
Read pissing first and got confused lol. I passed pre t because I’ve always had short hair but sometimes people still questioned me so I didn’t feel very confident with myself. Started t when I was 20 and after 3 months I passed 100% of time
I started “passing” to just general people who may not know about trans people at about 6 months on T, right after I got top surgery. The top surgery was what did it because I had a G cup chest visible no matter how I bound it.
Even now, 14 months on T, I sometimes don’t pass to people who may be picking my appearance apart, and at the doctor’s office because they know I am AFAB. But everywhere else I “pass” in the typical sense of the word.
I got lucky and started dressing masc with a short haircut at like 11 and passed completely to strangers and then started t at 14 so matched the puberty timeline of the cis boys around me
i passed pre-T (because i was like 12-14) and then once i started T at 15, i stopped passing consistently due to face bloat for about 2.5 years. i started passing always around 3.5 years on T. i haven’t been misgendered in public in over a year at this point. i’m 5 years on T in a few days, i’ve finally started passing over the phone too, lol.
Apparently this week and I'm nonbinary and not sure how sir makes me feel. Better than ma'am though.
Edit: more context. I'm 31 and haven't been on T for even a year and it's a low dose, but I also have PCOS. When I was about 20 I had short hair and one time and older woman at the college diner was like "how do you know she's not a man" (this was not misgendering at the time) and all the dudes that were there were like "oh you know" (probably my huge hips, which I mostly like). So even then I didn't 100% seem cis. Last year pre T I was about 50/50 on people interpreting me as a man or a woman. At that point the gynecologist said my testosterone levels were about double that of a woman's (??? How do they know, plenty of women have high testosterone). I'm quite tall for XX person so that helps. Also passing isn't everything. People should just treat you how you want to be treated. I'm not calling you anything just pointing out that wanting to pass and caring a lot about that is bad for nonbinary people. A subconscious bias to be broken.
ive always presented very androgynous ever since i chopped my hair pre-t the summer before freshman year, though id still get misgendered a lot. it was seldom that id be accidentally gendered correctly once i started T, i was able to pass better— unsure when the turning point was for me, but im 3 months in and my friend who i visited in a different state a week or two ago said her friend's conservative grandma i met didn't know i was trans and said i seemed like a nice young man. so.... win, i guess? i will say, any facial hair + voice drop is usually a big passing factor in my experience as well, but YMMV
Me too!!
Sadly, I never did. Even when I started T, cut my hair, and wore baggy clothes; I always got called she/her and “ma’am.” It really bugs me a lot that even when I try to present as manly as possible, I still get called a woman. It genuinely started to hurt and made me think I’d never be a man. It still happens all the time. Like all the time. Never once been called “sir” or he/him by ppl who didn’t know I was trans. But packing helped my dysphoria a lot.
like 4-5 months on T. i’ve only been misgendered only a handful of times since then and i’m almost 18 months on T
i passed a lot in middle school tho but less in high school, i presented more femininely for a couple years
I think it took a few years of being on T for me to start passing consistently, but I don't quite remember.
7 months on T. Did not pass AT ALL pre T. Now I'm 11 months on T and I'd say I always pass - if I'm she/her'd, my voice does the trick
I have always been pretty masculine, but i had huge boobs (if only i had been cis I would have had a huge pickle instead *sigh*) and very young children would ask their parents if I was a boy or a girl. I don't blame them, 4-6 year olds are curious and have no filter. As soon as I had top surgery I started passing 99.99% of the time.
You look so handsome by the way
At 16, when I cut my hair.
i would get “buddy” and “lil man” from passerby’s starting about 2-3 yrs before T and i completely passed around 4 months on T
honestly, im 3 years on max dose t and mostly pass, but still get "she" very often. I don't think I look or sound female at all, but oh well
Same - it doesn’t really bother me because it is rare and I do pass the vast majority of times. I also find it happens more when I’m alone for some reason - it’s really rare I get misgendered when I’m with someone else. Luckily!
I started semi-passing before even realising I was trans. Got some "are you a boy or a girl?" comments and one time while in the pool locker rooms a girl told me she thought I was a boy until that day. As soon as I started socially transitioning (wearing a binder and only "boy" clothes), I passed 100% but often got mistaken for a 14 y/o despite being 18 :'). After like one or two years on T I also started to pass as an adult lol.
After about 1.5 years. I have long hair, so if someone doesn't see my face or hear me speak, they often misgender me, which doesn't bother me. I make a point of making eye contact with waiters and speaking to them clearly after they refer to me as a madam or lady, and the look on their face is often priceless :)
At 13, when I cut my hair.
About 1.5 years after starting T. After top surgery I started dressing a bit more flamboyant and now people read me as a cis gay man.
I went stealth about 3.5 months on T. I’m almost a year on and I definitely do still get clocked by trans/LGBTQ+ people, but largely people in my life do not know I’m trans. I semi-passed before T. It was pretty normal when I was younger, but as I got older pre-T, I started to pass less.
About 3.5 years on T. I could pass pre-T when I was under 20 but it was over 15 years ago. Back then gender nonconformity was very rare and it was just way easier to pass.
Pre-T as soon as I cut my hair short. Never got called female in public again, which was quite jarring, as I was fully prepared to get misgendered a lot for a bit.
Did you live in an area in which gender non conforming ppl were less common/expected?
Not really? I'm from a college town in the Midwest. My high school had at least a dozen other trans people that I knew of. Graduated and started college in a large liberal city in the south. Despite attending a religious school, there is a sizable queer/trans student population.
Same experience as the OC, and in my case, yes. I've seen maybe 3 gender non-conforming people in my life (granted, I don't go out that much).
I was probably about a year on T when I started passing consistently? But I did also start T in October of 2019, so there was a pretty decent portion of time when I was uh. *Out of public eye* LOL
like 3 years in
4-5 yrs lol
when i cut my hair when i was like.. idk.. 11 ?people called me he/him most of the time, now after few years i do past most of the time, but i haven’t started T yet
I’m almost 6 months on t, finally, and my voice has changed quite a bit. But still easy to clock unless I deepen it intentionally. But I’ve found now I pass more than I ever have. I go to the men’s restroom, sometimes, and it’s easy. I get called “bud, sir, man, he” quite frequently actually. It’s beautiful. I love manhood.
Ill let you know if it happens 🙄😑
I hear ya brother. It’s kinda killing me to see so many sub-1 year answers when I’ve been on it for 2 and can’t pass bc of long hair 🥲 but if I cut it I get called a lesbian instead
Yupppp im a year and a half into medical transition and “ma’am”ed daily
2 years on t
About 3 months on T for me
When I started actually growing a bit of stubble pre T I got good at colouring it And already had my voice and wardrobe down Still very occasionally get misgendered from distances because my hair is long and I look rather young Hoping that over time, T will help me out a bit more
3-4 months, which is weird cause I absolutely did not think I passed at that time. I started T at 32, for reference.
YMMV but I was passing at about 4/6 months on T. I also had fairly masculine features already, though. I am definitely very, very lucky.
A couple of weeks before starting T. It was kind of funny, timing wise.
For me it was 50/50 pre t. And 100% by three months. The only questions I’ve had regarding my gender is I’ve had a few people think I was closeted transfem and asked about it.
Pre puberty, even with long hair, and then at around a year and a half maybe 2 years on t. Some of us need longer on t.
id say about 8 months on T. i’m now a year on T and i don’t really remember the last time i got she/her or ma’am. my facial hair is definitely a huge factor, others say my voice is too but i don’t really think so (then again i hear it every day so 🤷🏻♂️)
it’s weird for me because pre T to even right now i get called sir like 3/10 times? but all the other times i get misgendered probably because my hair is a little shorter than shoulder length and still femme ish. i think it’s my style (i dress like a dude) and i have a masculine facial shape and i lowkey have a tiny tiny mustache so i look very androgynous. but im hoping the T will make me less androgynous and more … man lol. i’m only 3 weeks on T but we’ll see.
Pre T- almost never. Maybe 5% of the time but only as a young boy. 6 months on T- about 50:50, still mostly as a young boy 1 year on T: 80% passing, mostly as a late teen boy Post top surgery, 15 months T (now): haven’t had anyone misgender me since the surgery. People definitely still think I’m 15 though. Once the beard starts coming through and now I’m back in the gym, hopefully I will at some point look like an adult man. I also plan to get a shit load more tattoos as soon as I can afford it.
I was about 50/50 in December at 4 months on T. I’ve been misgendered MAYBE once since top surgery in February. And i was starting with about as fem as you can get, especially my voice.
6-7 months on T was when I first started getting “he” or “sir” from people in public like half the time
I passed on occasion (at first glance) pre-T after cutting my hair short and changing my wardrobe but I didn't pass consistently until I was a few months on T. My voice dropped very quickly so I started passing really soon after starting T
Still working on it. I'm almost a year on T.
Read pissing first and got confused lol. I passed pre t because I’ve always had short hair but sometimes people still questioned me so I didn’t feel very confident with myself. Started t when I was 20 and after 3 months I passed 100% of time
I started “passing” to just general people who may not know about trans people at about 6 months on T, right after I got top surgery. The top surgery was what did it because I had a G cup chest visible no matter how I bound it. Even now, 14 months on T, I sometimes don’t pass to people who may be picking my appearance apart, and at the doctor’s office because they know I am AFAB. But everywhere else I “pass” in the typical sense of the word.
I got lucky and started dressing masc with a short haircut at like 11 and passed completely to strangers and then started t at 14 so matched the puberty timeline of the cis boys around me
i passed pre-T (because i was like 12-14) and then once i started T at 15, i stopped passing consistently due to face bloat for about 2.5 years. i started passing always around 3.5 years on T. i haven’t been misgendered in public in over a year at this point. i’m 5 years on T in a few days, i’ve finally started passing over the phone too, lol.
Apparently this week and I'm nonbinary and not sure how sir makes me feel. Better than ma'am though. Edit: more context. I'm 31 and haven't been on T for even a year and it's a low dose, but I also have PCOS. When I was about 20 I had short hair and one time and older woman at the college diner was like "how do you know she's not a man" (this was not misgendering at the time) and all the dudes that were there were like "oh you know" (probably my huge hips, which I mostly like). So even then I didn't 100% seem cis. Last year pre T I was about 50/50 on people interpreting me as a man or a woman. At that point the gynecologist said my testosterone levels were about double that of a woman's (??? How do they know, plenty of women have high testosterone). I'm quite tall for XX person so that helps. Also passing isn't everything. People should just treat you how you want to be treated. I'm not calling you anything just pointing out that wanting to pass and caring a lot about that is bad for nonbinary people. A subconscious bias to be broken.