Same. Now I have the power to make men uncomfortable when they are in a space that they think is safe for them to be misogynistic and shitty in. Cant say how many men have tried to joke around and say really disgusting awful things to me about women because im just another man and then i get to make them uncomfortable by calling it out and not giving them the response they want.
i love that i’m not expected to be emotional about stuff. i’m neurodivergent and would really suffer from the expectations i have to naturally understand hints and shit that i didn’t, and that i had to show emotion all the time otherwise i came off as rude and bitchy. as a guy people just read me as a normal, chill dude.
Being a GNC man. When I was a girl Id struggle to do anything nonmasculine bc it made me so dysphoric. Now I wear whatever I want, look however I want, and carry myself however I want to. It rules!!
This is incredibly fucked up & sad and it shouldn’t be this way, but… most people are SO much nicer to me now.
People will like. Ask for my opinion? And just… trust my answer??? I’m always expecting to have to justify myself but nobody ever asks me to. I’ll be talking out my ass and people will be like “hm yes you are so smart I will do exactly what you suggest,” it’s actually a little concerning 😭. I get compliments from strangers all the time, where as a girl I was ignored and basically treated like I didn’t exist, or if I *was* acknowledged it was with hostility or even disgust. I was lucky to never feel particularly *unsafe* as a girl, and I was never really harassed or anything like that, but it was… a sad pathetic existence, where I could expect very little kindness from anyone. Still getting used to not having to keep my guard up all the time.
Being gay. Men's bodies are just *chefs kiss*
It's just too bad I wasn't born with one and still don't have a penis. But maybe in my next like I can be a cis gay man
My guy friends treat me like their little brother (even if I am older). Probably because I’m short or I give off that energy to them (I have been told I give off little brother vibes). They call me buddy or the equivalent in whatever language we are speaking and tell me they love me. I have had more of these interactions with men as a man myself and I love it.
There are many, but the top two are... being able to wear the most casual clothing and receiving zero attention; and not being approached by random men, literally anywhere. When I was living as a woman, it was constant, day in, day out, no matter what you wear, where you are, it felt like men were always evaluating your appearance (women often, too) and would often have something to say to you.
true brotherhood is an intoxicating feeling and in an very good way. I would do anything for my 2 closest guy friends and for their families too. Everyone should have a non-romantic male friendship at some point in their life. Very rewarding.
personally, feeling more comfortable and confident in my own body and feeling normal since taking T. societally, i don't get out much and i keep to myself so idk :/
Being called Boss really stroked my ego. The best thing for me is the way men acknowledge each other. I’m black/white and not being constantly sexualized, not being mocked for how stiff I am or how “manly” my words and actions are.. the freedom to be my authentic self and nobody gives a fuck- I love it!! Oh and I recently have been sweating a lot so being able to be shirtless is heaven- scars and all!
The best part is not being a woman lol
But if I had to single something out, there are too many to choose from. So I'll choose something off of the top of my head:
It's nice, to me, that people believe in me to be able to do something, instead of expecting me to fail or not do it well
This is a hard question for me. I'm cis passing, but I'm not really *straight* passing. I also live in a college town in a red state -- a little "blue oasis", some call it.
I still deal with some shit. I don't know how to interact with a lot of bro dudes around here. Sometimes I feel like an alien trying to blend in, similar (but not as bad) as how it felt when I was trying to be a woman.
in all honesty? i feel safer. i don’t get followed or catcalled anymore or threats for being what people perceived as a woman socially. i’m not scared to get attacked at night and instead i’m left completely alone. it sounds really shitty because it is. now i’m brought into male social circles and treated as an equal and not as just a piece of meat that no one takes seriously. this world is really fucking cruel and misogynistic.
Feeling safer all around. My mom never had a car so I walked everywhere by myself growing up and always felt a little uneasy since little girls are such targets. Now that I pass as a man, I walk whenever and wherever I please with much less worry.
Guy talk with my coworkers and being able to be the one who takes care of the creepy guy customers so the girls I work with don’t have to deal with it. Being respected and listened to more. I love my deep voice.
- Feeling more comfortable in my own bod
- Dressing Gnc especially since top surgery without being seen as a woman
- not being attractive to WLW and straight men
- Flirting as a dude and buying flowers for people hits different to when I did them 'as a girl'
- growing and maintaining my facial hair
- baby talking to cats with my deeper voice
- realising that balding is Nbd & can actually be sexy and the feeling of freedom with not being so focused on having a mane/crop of hair as a beauty signifier (tbc bald women are hot too I just am not a woman and being seen as a dude feels better to me than being seen as a woman with short hair)
- feeling driven to be a better man by other awesome guys and by my own experiences with not awesome guys
- I feel like I'm able to be more friendly due to less dysphoria
- way less of the fake friendship BS where someone pretends to be your friend so they can sleep with you then gets mad that you want to be friends
- sometimes feeling less "on display" in public it pisses me off that anyone has to deal with being stared at/followed in public and I'll call it out if I see it
- chest and belly hair omg never realised I wanted it till it grew and now I love wearing open shirts and crop tops and showing it off (again as I said before it's fine for women to have these but I'm not a woman so for me I associate my own body hair with my masculinity while recognising that it's not inherently masculine to have body hair )
Not having all of the expectations that come with being read as female weighing down on you. Like sure we get some other judgements from being read as male in return but unless I go to a doctor's appointment I'm always with my girlfriend so it's hard to be read as creepy when you're walking hand in hand with a lady
Being seen as more of a protector. It’s always more terrifying to hear “ima go get my big brother” than “ima go get my big sister”. And being called cute as a boy just hits different.
This connection thing is really awesome. Being called "brother" is incredibly euphorical. Being called "brother" by one of my favourite musicians on YT is even more euphorical.
Also, I do enjoy being free from the burden of makeup and - for most of the time - nail polish.
I don’t miss only men asking me questions I don’t need to know to do my job, just to show how much of a “superior man” they are. Incel-like behavior. I use to answer with, “I don’t fix the CT Scanner, I just operate it. If I press this button for too long, you’ll come out extra crispy.”
There’s a lot of things, but I definitely agree with your brotherhood statement. I’ve been called “boss” and “brother” a good amount of times by customers at work and it’s awesome every time.
I remember seeing a tiktok a while where a trans dude talked about how men will “assign” a masculine word to call you, like man, dude, brother, boss, buddy, champ, etc etc. If that’s the case I’m glad “boss” seems to be sticking for me, lol
Superficially: POCKETS!!!!
Deeper: The brotherhood really is amazing. Men in general (yes there are exceptions) are a lot less petty and catty. It's just a much lower-key and more relaxed kind of friendship. I also don't feel near as much pressure to be conventionally attractive, I can just EXIST. Plus the ability to call other men out on their trash behavior and actually be taken seriously. Male privilege is real, and now I have it.
Iam being heard! my opinion matters. But i make sure to give space too not just take.
Personally i do have difficulties with the typical cis het guy culture, it seems like a repeated script sometimes with the misogyny and all that, but whenever i can iam trying to debunk that shit and it works i guess cuz they see me as a sweet guy with suddenly an opinion they didnt expect
The best part of being a man is standing up to other men who put minorities down. We gotta keep the girlies safe.
Same. Now I have the power to make men uncomfortable when they are in a space that they think is safe for them to be misogynistic and shitty in. Cant say how many men have tried to joke around and say really disgusting awful things to me about women because im just another man and then i get to make them uncomfortable by calling it out and not giving them the response they want.
I wish I could post that Simpsons gif of homer with a baseball bat saying "the strong must protect the sweet"
i love that i’m not expected to be emotional about stuff. i’m neurodivergent and would really suffer from the expectations i have to naturally understand hints and shit that i didn’t, and that i had to show emotion all the time otherwise i came off as rude and bitchy. as a guy people just read me as a normal, chill dude.
that’s so cool! lmao i hate showing emotions so it’s great it’s less expected
Yes this. I have weird face mimics and my emotions are not showing in general, so Im looking exactly forward this stereotype once I’ll start passing.
as shitty as it is that its even a thing, getting taken more seriously in medical settings
Adding onto this, it’s a nice bonus for me to be taken seriously when I bring my computer in for repair
thats so real unfortunately
It’s easier to be seen as having good style because the expectation is so low lmao. Same goes for hygiene and haircuts/facial hair
being able to date other guys who like guys
Real as fuck
Being a GNC man. When I was a girl Id struggle to do anything nonmasculine bc it made me so dysphoric. Now I wear whatever I want, look however I want, and carry myself however I want to. It rules!!
Not being a woman
liking men is now gay
This is incredibly fucked up & sad and it shouldn’t be this way, but… most people are SO much nicer to me now. People will like. Ask for my opinion? And just… trust my answer??? I’m always expecting to have to justify myself but nobody ever asks me to. I’ll be talking out my ass and people will be like “hm yes you are so smart I will do exactly what you suggest,” it’s actually a little concerning 😭. I get compliments from strangers all the time, where as a girl I was ignored and basically treated like I didn’t exist, or if I *was* acknowledged it was with hostility or even disgust. I was lucky to never feel particularly *unsafe* as a girl, and I was never really harassed or anything like that, but it was… a sad pathetic existence, where I could expect very little kindness from anyone. Still getting used to not having to keep my guard up all the time.
Being gay. Men's bodies are just *chefs kiss* It's just too bad I wasn't born with one and still don't have a penis. But maybe in my next like I can be a cis gay man
My guy friends treat me like their little brother (even if I am older). Probably because I’m short or I give off that energy to them (I have been told I give off little brother vibes). They call me buddy or the equivalent in whatever language we are speaking and tell me they love me. I have had more of these interactions with men as a man myself and I love it.
There are many, but the top two are... being able to wear the most casual clothing and receiving zero attention; and not being approached by random men, literally anywhere. When I was living as a woman, it was constant, day in, day out, no matter what you wear, where you are, it felt like men were always evaluating your appearance (women often, too) and would often have something to say to you.
true brotherhood is an intoxicating feeling and in an very good way. I would do anything for my 2 closest guy friends and for their families too. Everyone should have a non-romantic male friendship at some point in their life. Very rewarding.
personally, feeling more comfortable and confident in my own body and feeling normal since taking T. societally, i don't get out much and i keep to myself so idk :/
Being called Boss really stroked my ego. The best thing for me is the way men acknowledge each other. I’m black/white and not being constantly sexualized, not being mocked for how stiff I am or how “manly” my words and actions are.. the freedom to be my authentic self and nobody gives a fuck- I love it!! Oh and I recently have been sweating a lot so being able to be shirtless is heaven- scars and all!
Not feeling body dysphoria and not feeling alienated from guys. Muscles, flat chest, deep voice. Pants with big pockets.
being treated like a son by adults, grandmas asking to holding groceries and stuff
i think the best part is existing but the second best part is not being expected to be feminine
The best part is not being a woman lol But if I had to single something out, there are too many to choose from. So I'll choose something off of the top of my head: It's nice, to me, that people believe in me to be able to do something, instead of expecting me to fail or not do it well
This is a hard question for me. I'm cis passing, but I'm not really *straight* passing. I also live in a college town in a red state -- a little "blue oasis", some call it. I still deal with some shit. I don't know how to interact with a lot of bro dudes around here. Sometimes I feel like an alien trying to blend in, similar (but not as bad) as how it felt when I was trying to be a woman.
in all honesty? i feel safer. i don’t get followed or catcalled anymore or threats for being what people perceived as a woman socially. i’m not scared to get attacked at night and instead i’m left completely alone. it sounds really shitty because it is. now i’m brought into male social circles and treated as an equal and not as just a piece of meat that no one takes seriously. this world is really fucking cruel and misogynistic.
Getting ready in 10 minutes
THIS!
Feeling safer all around. My mom never had a car so I walked everywhere by myself growing up and always felt a little uneasy since little girls are such targets. Now that I pass as a man, I walk whenever and wherever I please with much less worry.
Guy talk with my coworkers and being able to be the one who takes care of the creepy guy customers so the girls I work with don’t have to deal with it. Being respected and listened to more. I love my deep voice.
- Feeling more comfortable in my own bod - Dressing Gnc especially since top surgery without being seen as a woman - not being attractive to WLW and straight men - Flirting as a dude and buying flowers for people hits different to when I did them 'as a girl' - growing and maintaining my facial hair - baby talking to cats with my deeper voice - realising that balding is Nbd & can actually be sexy and the feeling of freedom with not being so focused on having a mane/crop of hair as a beauty signifier (tbc bald women are hot too I just am not a woman and being seen as a dude feels better to me than being seen as a woman with short hair) - feeling driven to be a better man by other awesome guys and by my own experiences with not awesome guys - I feel like I'm able to be more friendly due to less dysphoria - way less of the fake friendship BS where someone pretends to be your friend so they can sleep with you then gets mad that you want to be friends - sometimes feeling less "on display" in public it pisses me off that anyone has to deal with being stared at/followed in public and I'll call it out if I see it - chest and belly hair omg never realised I wanted it till it grew and now I love wearing open shirts and crop tops and showing it off (again as I said before it's fine for women to have these but I'm not a woman so for me I associate my own body hair with my masculinity while recognising that it's not inherently masculine to have body hair )
Really just being who I am and expressing myself. Also, I like having a better sense of humor and being more chill with other guys
Not having all of the expectations that come with being read as female weighing down on you. Like sure we get some other judgements from being read as male in return but unless I go to a doctor's appointment I'm always with my girlfriend so it's hard to be read as creepy when you're walking hand in hand with a lady
Honestly, having sex with men
Being seen as more of a protector. It’s always more terrifying to hear “ima go get my big brother” than “ima go get my big sister”. And being called cute as a boy just hits different.
This connection thing is really awesome. Being called "brother" is incredibly euphorical. Being called "brother" by one of my favourite musicians on YT is even more euphorical. Also, I do enjoy being free from the burden of makeup and - for most of the time - nail polish.
the r/guysbeingdudes subreddit
Just feeling like myself.
Best part is not getting hit on my straight dudes anymore LOL , second best part is how fast it is to get ready for stuff
I don’t miss only men asking me questions I don’t need to know to do my job, just to show how much of a “superior man” they are. Incel-like behavior. I use to answer with, “I don’t fix the CT Scanner, I just operate it. If I press this button for too long, you’ll come out extra crispy.”
There’s a lot of things, but I definitely agree with your brotherhood statement. I’ve been called “boss” and “brother” a good amount of times by customers at work and it’s awesome every time. I remember seeing a tiktok a while where a trans dude talked about how men will “assign” a masculine word to call you, like man, dude, brother, boss, buddy, champ, etc etc. If that’s the case I’m glad “boss” seems to be sticking for me, lol
Superficially: POCKETS!!!! Deeper: The brotherhood really is amazing. Men in general (yes there are exceptions) are a lot less petty and catty. It's just a much lower-key and more relaxed kind of friendship. I also don't feel near as much pressure to be conventionally attractive, I can just EXIST. Plus the ability to call other men out on their trash behavior and actually be taken seriously. Male privilege is real, and now I have it.
Iam being heard! my opinion matters. But i make sure to give space too not just take. Personally i do have difficulties with the typical cis het guy culture, it seems like a repeated script sometimes with the misogyny and all that, but whenever i can iam trying to debunk that shit and it works i guess cuz they see me as a sweet guy with suddenly an opinion they didnt expect