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looks like your head was right at the tip.

It was a dick move.

Considering how long it takes for the sheet to get stained, I'd say the dick was very still during the night. The penis drawing didn't move much either.

At least his head’s in the right place.

I’m amazed you stayed still long enough for the ink to transfer like that, I flip like a damn grilled cheese all night long

If you assume heavy drinking was involved, it makes a lot more sense.

The alcohol seeping out of his pores acted as a solvent

That's not how your liver works.

That's not how YOUR liver works.

Funny that you assume a working liver

It's only a liver until you start drinking, then it becomes a worker, can't coast through life just livin anymore slacker

Livern't

& Shirley

Don't call me surely

La Vida Loca

If he doesn't want to work, I'll replace him with someone who does.

Funny you assume he is using HIS liver.

Don’t assume my livers functionality

Did someone say Liverwurst???

Worst liver ever, more like a dier, or in OP's case dyer. *BaDum* *Tshhh*

Alcohol leaves through your sweat and breath! Some courts even use ankle alcohol monitors that detect it that way and notify them if you drink. It's mainly done via the liver but it makes its way out all over the damn place lol

This is why alcoholics smell of alcohol so often.

It’s a small molecule.

No one said anything about your liver. That is how skin works.

It absolutely is. Your body is trying to get rid of alcohol however it can, and one method is through your sweat and pores

So.....never had a big night out hey? That's absolutely how it works.

/r/overconfidentassholes

Are you sure

Sleeping on your back after heavy drinking is always a bad idea

I had a friend die that way. His girlf and everyone else were still partying in the living room as he died in the bedroom.

I’m prone to throwing up when I’ve had too much (I never have any issues with stuff like noise when I’m hungover, I just throw up a lot) so I always sleep on my side or stomach just to be in the habit

Never forget the recovery position, its the safest way to sleep when thrashed. Also tbh is pretty comfy.

When I did my First Aid training I was surprised that "recovery position" was just basically how I sleep naturally!

Idk the recovery position

On your side, arms folded upwards in front of you, head supported by arm, upper leg bent. It's stable even if you're unconscious, keeps your airway open. Big spoon position, or the way a human naturally piles itself when laying on its side.

Lmao this is basically how I sleep normally that’s good to know

I sleep like that anyways while drunk lol I like to feel all cozy by tucking in my legs while drunk

But here’s the thing, if he drew a dick on his back, he must have been passed out on his tummy at a point in time. So sometime during the night he had to flop into his back

Never want to leave a drunk person on their backs, want to put them on their side or belly down incase they throw up in their sleep they won’t choke

I was drunk

Send pics.

yeah im confused how it transferred perfectly

Looks like he sweated a gallon of water.

If you’ve ever passed out in a hotel in Mexico after heavy drinking, this would seem very reasonable.

Or a gallon of booz? 

Alcohol actually does partially sweat out and Alcohol is a solvent for permanent markers, so that probably had something to do with it

A grilled cheese should only be flipped once

it shouldn't be cooked on its side either though lol, but I couldn't come up with a better analogy

my partner calls me a rotisserie chicken hope that helps

Mine calls me The Vitruvian Man because I spread my limbs out all over the place.

Pff wow you're just sprawling all night I guess? And now I'm looking this up thanks for entertainment for the next few hours lmao

I've been called a gas station hot dog

Mmmm, roller dogs.

Yalls spouses are comedians lol

ohhh i like that analogy. i’m gonna steal that; my other half literally flips round & round all night.. it actually kind of amazes me lol

I bet you don't even GRILL it!

No stripes. No gouda.

We’re all still for far longer than it seems. Consciousness and its opposite are quite the things!

I sleep so heavily and so lightly, I don't move in my sleep, but a soft touch will wake me up or even a tiny amount of light

He's a hard sleeper

r/oddlyspecific but that got me dying lmao

I want to know where he found the donkey to trace it.

I roll around like a damn rotisserie chicken all night

Not if you're passed out you don't.

If I wake up with the sheets still on the bed, it’s a miracle

I can see how it would happen, I have been told that I barely move when I sleep. I wake up often with dead shoulder because I’ve been sleeping in the same position for 4-5 hours, I turn over onto the other side and then wake up in that position.

Why is his back so high up on the pillow and one perfectly straight section just didn't transfer at all? I'm not convinced.

I personally call myself a rotisserie chicken

Not when you're dick on the back passed out drunk, you don't.

What type of cheese?

I myself am a rotisserie chicken, much to the chagrin of my dear wife.

I flip like a fish on land

I was that way until I found the right mattress. Now I’m start to finish in one position 5/7 nights. No booze needed.

Do you sweat a lot when you sleep?

Only when im with you

There’s no place I’d rather be

I only want to Be With You

You can call me your fool

I’m more impressed by the size and detail of the dick drawing. That’s a nice looking cock you got on you boy…

that is to say you were unfaithful to me

What does that even mean? Am stoned and very confused

seggs

Have you been to Mexico?

If I get a hotel in Mexico it better have some fuckin AC

Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

Are you *sure* that’s all he did?

I dont have to push when i poop but thats the only change ive noticed

Nice of you to compliment your buddy like that.

Lmao

BRO omg 😂😂

Just two buddies on a mattress in a motel in Mexico relaxing. What’s everybody looking at?

Looks like you had the meat sweats last night

Funniest shit I’ve read all day 👏

Runniest shit he's had all day

Good choice of words

My college roommate always told me it’s not gay if you’re drunk.

he's right

lmaoo

He didn’t pack it in very well then. Tell him I said step it up

😂🤣

I've seen too many pictures of passed out people with logs on their cheeks. It's funny, but I don't want to pass out near anybody that has a high fiber diet

I'd rather logs than a river....

What does the person cleaning the sheets think of this? Do they immediately know what happened because they've seen it before or do they assume you drew it perfectly over the wrinkles?

The maid’s gonna think he is a member of the Blue Cocks Klan

I hope this comment gets the attention it deserves

And not from the police

Mexico is wild for this my friend got makeup on a towel and they tried to charge us $40 to replace the towel. We offered to wash it instead and there nearest laundromat was $10 just to wash a load

Why even pay $10, sink and soap is free.

I just use my saliva, it's just as good as soap and water

It has been a long time but I used to clean hotel rooms. I think in this situation my reaction would be to shake my head, think to myself "I don't even want to know" and thank my boss for supplying rubber gloves.

They've seen weirder stuff, but most likely they'll notify reception and you'll void your deposit/your credit card will be charged.

I've been in hospitality for 5 years. I wouldn't know wtf to make of this. But *I would wanna punch someone*.

I had two buddies who used to do this to each other in college. A few years later they came out and eventually got married. God bless

That just scaled very quickly lmao

They played gay chicken and both won.

Lol

Man i wish I could sleep that soundly.

That’s not sleep, that’s passing out and while profusely sweating.

Take 10 shots of tequila and I bet you will lol

I guess you were bare backed?

¬‿¬

How much did that cost you?

They probably don't know yet, because they wouldn't be laughing about it online if they'd gotten the bill. There's always that one learning experience...

I feel so ignored. I wish my friends would draw on me with a sharpie while I was unconscious

I will

Done this to my mate before and we let him get on a bus with drawings all over his face. Happy to do the same for you

Same

It will be less funny when the hotel charges you for the sheets, pillow case, and pillow.

Housekeeping is going to *love* you.

You sleep really high up on the pillow.

Looks like a tracing to me.

Whats your venmo ill send you 5$ if you dont spread the news

Ah yes, Dick Tracey.

Work of art.

This is why hotels take a deposit from your credit card.

Come on, I’m sure he was just dicking around.

You sleep on your back just still as water all night?

Its the Shroud of Cancun!!

The Forbidden Shroud

Amen

Just curious, is your buddy white? Only my white friends did this kinda stuff at parties. Drawing dicks on faces of people who passed out or dry humping them. Non of my black, Asian, or Hispanic friends did. Think Chapelle did a set about this too.

It's a very white trash thing to do.

White people are such a blank canvas. Let's your creativity flow

Something doesn't seem right. Sharpies dry really quick so if he drew that on your back I find that hard to believe that that all bled through on your sheet.

Sharpie can transfer even minutes after it's been applied, if it's on certain surfaces(skin, some types of glossy paper, etc). I don't have full conditions hammered out, but sweat can *absolutely* cause it to happen.

I can guarantee being hammered is the culprit here haha

Nah. You just bought custom sheets.

Yup. You will be held financially for it. Trust me!!

Dave Chappelle explained why he didn’t drink with white guys. It’s because of these stuff they do.

That's quite a dick you took

I might be getting too old for reddit.

Yeah I'm sure the maid found it hilarious to fix that mess.

It’s funny to go to another country and ruin things in a hotel? You know you’re one of those people that everyone hates, right?

Probably early 20s.

As someone who has worked in hotels, this is pretty tame for some of the things I've seen

i can guarantee that is far from the worst thing done to hotel sheets while drunk & on vacation. they're white for a reason!

We are at my friends parents house. Someone passed out at a party and got a dick drawn on their face. The couch he fell asleep on was brand new. And when he awoke there was a beautiful blue dick on the couch. His mom was furious. Thankfully the artist worked at a detail shop and was able to get the sharpie out of the leather couch.

What a shithead friend dude. Some people just lack basic intelligence. They try way too hard. Do less dumb people. Do less.

Is anyone else seeing a Clone Trooper or is it just me?

Excellent.

You need better friends

Your buddy is an idiot who's obsessed with dicks.

Looks like Bandit had a wet dream.

Did they use the blue sharpie so you had Blue Balls?

What a dick

How much were you charged for the cleaning fee?

The key is to go to the maid and give them a 20 and say can you clean this. Hotels bleach the ever loving fuck out of everything that's why they all have white towels and sheets.

Que verga?

With friends like that, who needs enemas?

“Dr Manhattan wuz heer”

Your buddy can pay.

I’m gonna see this posted by a hotel janitor on r/mildlyinfuriating in a few days

Dude was SWEATING

As a former middle school custodian, I can confirm that is in fact a drawing of a dick.

That AC didnt work

Are you 12?

Ay no

Can you just imagine how sweaty this man’s back was, geezus

Who needs enemies

Now thats what i call leaving a big tip.

Yeah no

When your "buddy" starts drawing pictures of dick and dedicates them to you, it might be time to begin looking out for your corn hole, is all I'm sane.

Bro you sleep with pillow under back ?

This is like the shroud of Turin.

I drew a duck on my buddy’s back with sunscreen when he passed out at the beach. You got off easy his lasted years

Looks like you’re getting an extra charge for damaged sheets.

Now I see why the resort I just stayed at in mx had such a strict towel policy

Tourists...

I got lettering tattooed on my back. Same thing happened to my couch. Fell asleep got up and my couch had a tattoo.

I'll bet cleaning staff love Americans

The laundry staff won’t think it’s so funny

You may be paying for those sheets unfortunately

Bullshit

With friends like these…

That's a pretty big dick

How did you explain that to the hotel staff 😭

how long is your back? another bs reddit post

I thought that must be 7ft9 !

My buddy did this to me as pay back for shaving half his eye brows off before a job interview. I woke up on his white leather couch with all the cocks transferred to his couch! Can’t get me!