Yeah I find a lot straight guys I’ll talk to about video games or like crazy horror movies that just came out since most of them I feel like are into those if I’m making conversation.
This comment sounds like a typical interaction between teenage boys and girls 😂😂
Yes, they are humans just like you, with interests and personalities. Just be yourself, respectful and not creepy 😂
I would advise training yourself to stop looking at them as "them" if you ever want to get your head around this.
You being gay and them being straight does not make you alien to each other. You may have different experiences and perspectives, but everyone on this planet is just another sack of meat, blood and bone, and everyone shits the same. But everyone is unique and there are no rules that will help you cheat code social interactions.
You talk to them the same way you talk to literally anyone else, as an individual, and without a preconceived notion of who they are or what they're like based on whether they like guys or girls.
They're not "straight guys", they're just people.
That isn't true though. Most straight guys do not like us gays and want nothing to do with us. And the ones that do might talk to us but they don't want to hear or see any "gay stuff"
Listen, we can only ever speak from our experiences and I'm just sharing mine. I'll also acknowledge that I grew up and live in a more progressive place than many.
Yeah, I've met plenty of straight people who don't wanna see or hear any "gay stuff". Tough shit for them. They don't get to make that choice for me.
Every straight man that knows me has listened to me talk about me sex life the same way they talk about theirs. They hear about my boyfriend the way I hear about their girl. They see me checking guys out in public and telling them who I think is hot the same way they would with girls. I show them the equality that I demand and I accept nothing less. A solid majority of the time I get that respect because I meet them with a level of confidence in myself that lets them know from minute one that their approval of my sexuality is not requested or asked for, it is expected if they want to associate with me.
It's not even been uncommon in my life for those straight men to educate themselves by asking me questions about myself and my sexuality that they might not feel comfortable asking someone who isn't as loud and open about it. They get the warning that if my answers are too wild and honest for them then that's their problem. But sometimes it's enough to give someone a big shift in perspective and help them grow past their misconceptions.
Anyone who has had a problem? I put them on the fucking spot. They don't get to make me feel bad about my sexuality, I get to make them feel bad about their prejudice. If they're uncomfortable hearing me talk about a man then boo fucking hoo, they're gonna stay uncomfortable and I'm gonna keep talking. They're more than welcome to go know someone else while I enjoy the people that do accept and appreciate me. Their loss.
But at the end of the day they're all still just people that are not defined by their sexuality the same way that I am not defined by mine. It's one part of the pieces that come together to form who I am.
Like I said, I'm privileged enough to hold that attitude and be safe from harm. Many aren't and can't be as assertive in who they are. Sure, things get tricky in those circumstances and I really do feel for everyone who doesn't have the opportunity to live as their authentic selves.
But that doesn't suddenly mean that this notion of "most straight people" isn't bullshit. It's the same bullshit they throw at us when they talk about "most gay people" as if we're some homogenous community. We aren't and neither are they. Both sides looking at the other like some alien race they don't know how to communicate with. It's so stupid and just perpetuates the problem. Nobody learns shit. That's what I'm trying to communicate to OP.
Prejudice is taught and learned from those around you just the same way as acceptance and open-mindedness. Neither of them are innate.
I'm not openly gay lmao that's the first thing I said, but I don't like faking too much. around 5 guys in my class know that im gay and almost all girls know. how about you
I'm really sorry to hear all this happened to you man. Is there at least a safe space nearby you can go to make new friends where you can be yourself? Maybe you've already answered this. Unless it's a country where it's literally dangerous because of effed up laws and outdated attitudes. In some countries where being gay is "frowned upon," you can still find gay friends in certain places. I hope you're able to do that.
Don't treat them like a different species dude. I have a lot of straight male friends. Some aren't into sports. Find literally any other interest. Don't fake a personality because everyone can smell it from a mile away. Ask them about other common interest like school, or work, or movies n shit. It aint difficult. Also, some people just talk differently. I know a lot of guys that barely utter a word out in their dialogue, and they're naturally like that as a person. It can be very refreshing honestly as a more quite dude. But remember it's not really a "straight guy" thing always. Always err on the side of authenticity.
Example dialogue:
"Yo, what's up, I've seen you around before, I don't think we talk much" or something like that. If they bring up interest and you don't share them, just be like
"I don't really care for X but I tend to do Y". And then they'll most likely say "cool" as many straight (and gay) dudes do, or ask you more about that. That's when you reel 'em in with info and more relatable topics.
"That's chill, I was actually planning on doing Z" and invite them to a semi-committal and very lax activity. Like studying or hanging out of school, or just get their social-media info if you can (most dudes have at least an insta, snap, or a number they'll be comfortable giving you). Spark off from there my gay compadre.
Talk about common interests. Most of my straight guy friends are other bodybuilders who I met in the gym. When I was your age, it was mostly other guys on the swim team with me. Straight guys connect best over mutual interests.
I have to find out what common interests we have. I'll try asking them about it. I used to only talk about workouts, and bodybuilding stuff when I used to workout a few years ago. After I stopped working out, I lost the only common interest with all those guys.
I used to workout, and was a bodybuilding geek but I lost interest in it. I no longer workout because I'm too tired from cycling everyday to school. When I used to workout, that's all I talked about with straight guys, because that's the only thing I had in common with them.
Generally speaking, straight guys talk about interests & hobbies not about life.
Frankly I am the opposite of you, conversation with women and more feminine men is just super hard for me. I don’t like to talk about drama, what life was like in high school, reality tv, Taylor swift, shopping, etc. I can’t stand it. I am so bored.
But I have realized I don’t need to lol. I am polite, but I don’t need to engage in conversation with people I share no common interests with.
Most of my friends are straight men or masculine gays as a result. I have a friend who is into woodworking and making things, we talk about that for hours, one who is super into gardening I can talk about that, a straight friend who is an amazing chef / restauranteur, I love talking about that, etc
But for this to work you need to share the interest and be interesting in return.
I totally get you!! I like both lol, I talk with my girlfriends about drama, gossip, relationships, etc and learn about sports, news, and talk gossip with straight guys too. I speak about everything with both people but I'm more comfortable in some stuff with men and comfortable in some stuff with men. I don't have any gay friends, and I'm really curious about how being friends with a person who's like me would be like.
Then just focus on finding mutual interests. Men like doing stuff they like together. Don’t force it. If it is something skill based, it’s fun too, and I don’t mean just sports, but could be video game, stupid bar games, whatever - it’s just just fun to have light competitiveness.
I find they (and me) use it as an escape from every day drama, so I would recommend avoiding gossip and stuff.
> I don't like to talk about drama, what life was like in high school, reality tv, Taylor swift, shopping, etc. I can’t stand it. I am so bored.
Why be so stereotypical lol. Sure some women and feminine men talk about these things but that's not everyone. Same with OP assuming every single straight guy is just gonna want to talk about sports.
You're just cutting yourself off from meeting some amazing people with sweeping generalisations like that.
I mean, I wish that wasn’t what I find consistently but it is. Worse in groups because conversations usually become lowest common denominator.
I also agree that many men simply just are stuck in sports, their “one thing” or simply don’t talk at all.
I will always talk to anyone, I don’t purposefully avoid women / feminine folks, but if the general conversation is boring I politely leave. Stereotypes are rooted in reality, I am rarely surprised. But it happens every once in a while.
Weird, I'm not refuting your experience or anything like that, but I am so curious as to where you live. Is everyone that stereotypical?
I'd say like 20% of people conform to the stereotypes of whatever they are, man woman gay straight feminine masculine, but I just don't really interact with them. Nothing wrong with them just not my thing.
But everyone else, is usually a really interesting mix of different personalities values and interests. Most people I meet aren't stereotypical at all. All my close friends, 50% male 50% female, 70% straight 30% LGBT, are all really interesting people that don't conform to stereotypes. They'll maybe have 2 or 3 things about them that are stereotypical but are generally pretty balanced.
Maybe it's because I'm in university. I just can't imagine the majority of the people around me being so consistently stereotypical as you say they are.
Could be an age thing. When I was younger I felt people were more interesting. As people aged many just got frankly less interesting.
But this is more about personality and what people choose to talk about. And generally, men prefer to talk about “things” and women about “people”. I feel this has less to do with penis/vagina and more about masculine/feminine and where you are on the spectrum.
For example, those topics I had above were not some random things I made up, those were the topics I endured at a bar last week with some of my more feminine gay acquaintances. Which were similar to the last time I was out with them. I have yet to walk up to a similar group and hear them chat about their investment strategies, some project that is consuming them, or a deep philosophical conversation.
I am sure it happens. Lots of planning as to what country they can goto to see the Eras tour to watch someone lip sync for half the show tho.
Yeah and I guess what you yourself find interesting changes, like personally I can't imagine something more dull than talking about work related stuff like projects outside of work. I prefer to talk about hobbies and philosophical stuff, and also joking around with friends and talking about people. I'd say I and my friends are balanced in that way where we talk about things and people. So hopefully they'll stay interesting even when they get older cause it won't just be things or just people.
But I do agree I can't stand when my friends chat at length about the Eras tour haha but I'm happy they're enjoying themselves. Me and my friend group are all pretty self aware so I take the piss out of the Eras tour stuff if they don't stop talking about it (lovingly of course) and they'll take the piss out of my stuff sometimes too if I'm going in a ramble about something haha.
Still though. I feel like having the mindset of "people are so stereotypical" you'll just end up cherry picking evidence of that subconsciously and subconsciously ignore the opposite, examples of people not being stereotypical. I personally feel like that's a bad mindset to have but hey its your life and as people we have disagreements so go ahead.
May I ask how old you are btw?
I didn’t mean work related stuff, a lot of people do some crazy interesting things tho, I work in technology, some of my friends are working on AI/LLMs and that shit is beyond fascinating.
But, most people don’t do interesting things for work either, so I get why they don’t talk about it.
To your point, I do try hard to not pre-judge a group of people, or try to steer the conversation out of boring town. Sometimes it works. If it doesn’t I just move on.
Yeah thats cool! My friend makes AI bots in his free time and that's pretty fun. I used to do coding myself making games and computers when I was younger but I'm more in the environmental science route now
Yeah it seems like you maybe need to make more friends/aquintances if you're constantly having to drive the conversation away from things haha
Oh, yeah, that's the girls' world: Taylor swift and reality tv. Thanks god we're guys with actual hobbies, making stuff, growing food and cooking. Unless you're feminine, which means you're probably talking about Taylor's latest lipstick color.
Make conversations with the people you naturally gravitate towards. Don't ignore this type of straight guys, but don't try to force conversation. With anyone, really.
But I want to be friends with them. Because in the past I used to talk to some of them a lot, but now I feel too anxious to even talk to them. I'm trying to search for topics to talk about
A couple of my main friends are straight & we get along on the same topics, but they do begin to talk about sports and i just zone out lol. I’ll talk to them about music & such
same!! I have some straight best friends too! But they all know that im gay, and the same thing happens too lol they talk about sports and i just stay silent.
Yeah lol, i mean I am pretty athletic/competitive but I skate and play video games so it’s not the same. I’ll go to the bar and watch games & it opens up more door for conversation with them. I also like to ask questions about how certain things work on the court/field & they love to explain ofc lol.
I talk to straight dudes just fine, because aside from liking dudes, we have very similar interests. It's gay dudes I often don't have a lot in common with
OP: most straight guys are generally okay with gay guys. And they're often as clueless as to how to interact with gay guys as you are with them. To really be friends, they need to respect you. I'm not sure what that looks like for the guys you are referring to, but figure that out and you should be good.
I’ve never thought that it’s about straight talk vs gay talk. I jive with some people, we can riff off of each other, and I don’t with some. Just general people skills really.
Just... how you talk to anyone else. "How are you?" "What do you like to do?"
Just cause they're straight doesn't mean you and them will have fundamental different ways of talking. We're all people, just some of us like cock and others like pussy lol.
In my all male uni flat with 3 of my friends, 2 of them are entirely straight and they are some of the funniest and most interesting people I've met.
With anybody I just ask or discuss topics and look for commonalities. If we share something in common, then I’ll explore the topic and hope it leads to another topic of more interest.
For example, at the gym:
- Oh hey. I like your (Nike) shoes. They look nice!
- Hey thanks. Yeah I got them recently.
- Gotcha. Do you use them for running? I’m looking for a new pair of running shoes.
- yeah I like to run and needed a new pair.
- Are you part of the local run club? It’s a good time. They host runs once a week, you should check it out if you haven’t been.
- no but I’ve been looking for running buddies!
- yeah it’s a cool place to meet people…x y z
Yada yada yada, now you’re talking about a run club and activities outside the gym. New friend :)
😂
I don't base my friends on their sexuality but rather interests we share and values. The majority of my friends are gay men since I live a very gay lifestyle, work in fashion, and live in a major city. But it's surprising by how much support I get from straight men who like my style and want to support me. I don't even reach them out as friends.
It's nice because I don't have to try to put on airs or be more "bro". I can just be myself since they like my talent. I just tend not to talk too much about gay sex stuff with them unless they're curious.
I’m more of a listener than a talker, which makes this easy - find out what they’re interested in (just ask, or ask what they did over the weekend and use that info to go off of) and ask them to tell you about it. Most people love to talk, and especially love it when other people show interest in what they’re saying. So let them talk, ask questions, and then you can always use it as a jumping off point - “that’s really cool, I’d like to learn more about it - looks like there’s a nearby event/place, would you want to check it out next weekend?” or whatever.
What are their interests, what are your interests. Talk about that. I love politics, philosophy, science, religion and social topics. SciFi, aliens etc.
Hey straight dude do you suck cock ? No why because i want to suck yours and you suck mine. No thanks bro its not my scene, well how not i thought you would choose cock over pussy since your straight 😜
Most of the times I am with guys we're just enjoying eachothers company. Not taking unless a conversation flows naturally
I am the same with girls. & I can't say it doesn't work the same way with them
So then it sounds like your real question is how do you talk to people you don't know well. It revolves around finding something that you both enjoy talking about, or that you both have in common.
Don’t treat them any different than anyone else. Ask about their day, school, work, plans for the weekend and riff off those responses. Making conversation is about making people talk about themselves, not talking to them about yourself.
Always ask more than say more. And if you don’t know what to ask, ask something that puts them on the spot a little bit. One of mine is “so what’s the last thing you and your girlfriend fought about.” Or you could get a rise out of them and say “It’s so nice that Taylor Swift put Mr. Nobody Kelce on the map”
Humor is good but sincere interest is paramount
What do you usually talk about when you talk to other people in your life? At the very least you can just do small talk. I get that not everyone is good at small talk but it takes practice to improve.
Be yourself! Find shared interests. Video ganes! Movies! Shows! Be funny. Witty. Don't try to play a card for them. I can tell you most straight men love a different vibe, love, and energy confident gay men bring to the table
Fellas, this is why it is important to have some friendships with straight men in your life. If you only hang out with women, and only have feminine-oriented interests, you are going to be completely clueless with how to interact with 90% of the male population. I've seen this question multiple times here and the post always has something along the lines of "I only hang out with girls". Do you see the issue here?
You don't have to be Paul Bunyan-levels of butch to have straight male friends. That's the beauty of male friendships: They're uncomplicated. Just find a hobby -- ANY hobby, where men gravitate to, and you can bond over it. Do you like video games? Boom! You can make a bunch of male friends like that.
This is the dumbest question. The only difference between the two of you is who you sleep with. Like what? If all you talk about is dudes and sex and being gay because you have no personality and the brain cell count of a prehistoric phytoplankton then it will be hard to carry on a conversation with anyone outside a very set group. Most of the world is straight males. So don’t complain.
1. Do something other than gay this gay that. Like go do an activity OUTSIDE!
2. Realize there’s a shit ton to talk about with anyone because we all have a myriad of shared experiences (it’s why memes are so funny)
3. Then talk about these things
Ffs
Always remember that recognition is our most important need. Every single one of us craves an audience. Someone who's genuinely curious; some one who takes an honest interest in us. And professional listeners are rare. So as long as you're curious, present and just as open, there's no one you can't talk to (well almost no one).
I don’t talk to straight men unless it’s work related or school projects. Straight men act weird when they find out that I’m gay and they automatically think I’m into them so I just avoid straight men. I just talk to women and other gay men.
We usually just talk about cars and other motorized vehicles. But all my guy friends are gearheads. We can talk for hours about car stuff. Pretty much every time we are at the bar, we will start debating which diesel engine is the best and why the 4.0 XJ Cherokee was the best vehicle ever made.
There's some great advice in here already but I'd like to add: stop viewing them as /them/. You're essentially othering them, which will only hinder your ability to communicate. Look at what is similar or the same between you and others, and focus less on what's different
They’re people just like anyone else. Can’t group all their interests together. That line of thinking doesn’t even make sense. You ask what they are into, their hobbies, just like anyone else. 🙄 😂 Why overthink this? We’re all human. If you know how to start a conversation with someone you’ll be fine.
As a gay guy who has a lot of straight friends, the type of guy mm nvaries.
The ghetto-hood kind of guy talks with a lot of slurred-ish words (like they don't rly enunciate). Their most tame conversation usually is video games, and their most extreme is drugs.
These are the type of guys I have most experience with because that's just the kind of school I went to. Not sure if this will help. I'm just a gay dude that recently came out semi-publicly, and all my friends are okay with it (yes the straight guys too.) I'm lucky to have these kinds of friends I guess.
Also, generally just try to see where they go with the conversation. Don't be awkward (like be a little confident, as friends should be with each other.) Also, they're human too. They operate probably half the way you do. Since you're also a guy it's probably not too hard to be a bit relatable.
Don't force it. If there is little conversation to make then it's probably for the best you don't talk to them. Just try to be cool and make friends I guess.
Idk. I can talk to pretty much anyone except "valley girl" airhead types.
Basically, you just figure out what they like and talk about that.
Like, i work in kitchens. Most people i work with like cooking. So i talk about stuff i like to cook like fried rice or pasta dishes or weird shit i've eaten like rattlesnake, eel, catfish, beaver, bear.
If i'm at a bar, work tends to be a good choice. I hear it isn't a good topic in europe, especially france, as they look at talking about work as a chore or something, but in america, at a bar, it works for me to just be like "so, what do you do for work?" And then bullshit about that. Like, i used to work construction.
You could also try "what do you do for fun". Then, talk about that. If they like different stuff than you, like, say, they're into a sport and you aren't, just say what you know about the sport. Like I know fuck all about basketball, but when I'm around guys who like basketball, I just say that i don't know much about it, but i know that like, steph curry is making waves as a great shooter, or that the kobe thing was sad, or that Larry Bird was this weirdly technical dude who didn't do anything really well but played awesome overall, or that the lebron and jordan debate goes on. i Just bring up one of those things and let them talk.
Introduce yourself first, then see who and how they react.
I find it easier to "listen" to the conversation, if something is said that sparks my interest. Then I'll put my 2 cents in.
Well… stop thinking of them as “straight guys” and accept that they’re just guys, just like you are.
Break down that barrier where you still see them as something other than what you are and well, focus on the things you have in common. It could be something as simple as a crappy teacher, or an exam that’s coming up… you don’t have to talk about “straight” things.
TV Shows, Movies, Games, Anime, Music… the options are limitless
Straight guys are super easy to talk to imo. All my best friends are straight. You talk to them the same as you would any of your other friends. Discuss interests, sports, video games, etc.
Helps to have some liquor going to help lube the conversation lol
If you're the one initiating the convo. You can start by asking do you *insert activity*?
An example of me with others, "oh, you watch anime? I saw you watching overlord and demon slayer."
Then the convo naturally flows.
I mean to begin, it's not always about being straight or gay or others. We're all humans. You can even ask how was your day and that's really plenty.
I have no idea on how to talk with 80% of the str8 guys I know. The way they talk about women, like they are sex toys. And they are always scratching their balls and spitting. To be honest, I have no interest in talk to them.
For the most part, the straight people I talk to are nerds. Since they share similar interests, I talk to them about our shared interests.
Agreed. Try nerd stuff, if that fails try gym stuff
Yeah I find a lot straight guys I’ll talk to about video games or like crazy horror movies that just came out since most of them I feel like are into those if I’m making conversation.
If both fail, try girl stuff (sex and stuff), that should never fail /s
But, why?
Ask them what their interests are, instead of asking us... for example.
that's a good idea... I can just ask them right??? Can I just go to them and ask what do you like???
Yes you can, but don’t be a weirdo about it. E.g. Share your own interest and follow up with a “how do you spend your time?” or something.
thanks a lot!! But isn't this just to initiate conversation? what do I speak with them everyday???
About your common interests or shared past or current experiences.
This comment sounds like a typical interaction between teenage boys and girls 😂😂 Yes, they are humans just like you, with interests and personalities. Just be yourself, respectful and not creepy 😂
Yeah lmaoo, I have to get used to speaking to them
I would advise training yourself to stop looking at them as "them" if you ever want to get your head around this. You being gay and them being straight does not make you alien to each other. You may have different experiences and perspectives, but everyone on this planet is just another sack of meat, blood and bone, and everyone shits the same. But everyone is unique and there are no rules that will help you cheat code social interactions. You talk to them the same way you talk to literally anyone else, as an individual, and without a preconceived notion of who they are or what they're like based on whether they like guys or girls. They're not "straight guys", they're just people.
That isn't true though. Most straight guys do not like us gays and want nothing to do with us. And the ones that do might talk to us but they don't want to hear or see any "gay stuff"
Listen, we can only ever speak from our experiences and I'm just sharing mine. I'll also acknowledge that I grew up and live in a more progressive place than many. Yeah, I've met plenty of straight people who don't wanna see or hear any "gay stuff". Tough shit for them. They don't get to make that choice for me. Every straight man that knows me has listened to me talk about me sex life the same way they talk about theirs. They hear about my boyfriend the way I hear about their girl. They see me checking guys out in public and telling them who I think is hot the same way they would with girls. I show them the equality that I demand and I accept nothing less. A solid majority of the time I get that respect because I meet them with a level of confidence in myself that lets them know from minute one that their approval of my sexuality is not requested or asked for, it is expected if they want to associate with me. It's not even been uncommon in my life for those straight men to educate themselves by asking me questions about myself and my sexuality that they might not feel comfortable asking someone who isn't as loud and open about it. They get the warning that if my answers are too wild and honest for them then that's their problem. But sometimes it's enough to give someone a big shift in perspective and help them grow past their misconceptions. Anyone who has had a problem? I put them on the fucking spot. They don't get to make me feel bad about my sexuality, I get to make them feel bad about their prejudice. If they're uncomfortable hearing me talk about a man then boo fucking hoo, they're gonna stay uncomfortable and I'm gonna keep talking. They're more than welcome to go know someone else while I enjoy the people that do accept and appreciate me. Their loss. But at the end of the day they're all still just people that are not defined by their sexuality the same way that I am not defined by mine. It's one part of the pieces that come together to form who I am. Like I said, I'm privileged enough to hold that attitude and be safe from harm. Many aren't and can't be as assertive in who they are. Sure, things get tricky in those circumstances and I really do feel for everyone who doesn't have the opportunity to live as their authentic selves. But that doesn't suddenly mean that this notion of "most straight people" isn't bullshit. It's the same bullshit they throw at us when they talk about "most gay people" as if we're some homogenous community. We aren't and neither are they. Both sides looking at the other like some alien race they don't know how to communicate with. It's so stupid and just perpetuates the problem. Nobody learns shit. That's what I'm trying to communicate to OP. Prejudice is taught and learned from those around you just the same way as acceptance and open-mindedness. Neither of them are innate.
just go and ask em bruh ure lucky u can be openly gay i have to just secretly admire😭😭😭
I'm not openly gay lmao that's the first thing I said, but I don't like faking too much. around 5 guys in my class know that im gay and almost all girls know. how about you
about me man no one knows cuz if someone knows im ded cuz im in a country where this is condemed i came out to my friends all left me
I'm really sorry to hear all this happened to you man. Is there at least a safe space nearby you can go to make new friends where you can be yourself? Maybe you've already answered this. Unless it's a country where it's literally dangerous because of effed up laws and outdated attitudes. In some countries where being gay is "frowned upon," you can still find gay friends in certain places. I hope you're able to do that.
like if i get found im ded
Oh bud, if the girls know, everyone knows…
Don't treat them like a different species dude. I have a lot of straight male friends. Some aren't into sports. Find literally any other interest. Don't fake a personality because everyone can smell it from a mile away. Ask them about other common interest like school, or work, or movies n shit. It aint difficult. Also, some people just talk differently. I know a lot of guys that barely utter a word out in their dialogue, and they're naturally like that as a person. It can be very refreshing honestly as a more quite dude. But remember it's not really a "straight guy" thing always. Always err on the side of authenticity. Example dialogue: "Yo, what's up, I've seen you around before, I don't think we talk much" or something like that. If they bring up interest and you don't share them, just be like "I don't really care for X but I tend to do Y". And then they'll most likely say "cool" as many straight (and gay) dudes do, or ask you more about that. That's when you reel 'em in with info and more relatable topics. "That's chill, I was actually planning on doing Z" and invite them to a semi-committal and very lax activity. Like studying or hanging out of school, or just get their social-media info if you can (most dudes have at least an insta, snap, or a number they'll be comfortable giving you). Spark off from there my gay compadre.
Talk about common interests. Most of my straight guy friends are other bodybuilders who I met in the gym. When I was your age, it was mostly other guys on the swim team with me. Straight guys connect best over mutual interests.
I have to find out what common interests we have. I'll try asking them about it. I used to only talk about workouts, and bodybuilding stuff when I used to workout a few years ago. After I stopped working out, I lost the only common interest with all those guys.
Still trying to figure this out at 33 
lol
They mostly talk about sports. I have zero interests in it, unless it is bodybuilding.
I used to workout, and was a bodybuilding geek but I lost interest in it. I no longer workout because I'm too tired from cycling everyday to school. When I used to workout, that's all I talked about with straight guys, because that's the only thing I had in common with them.
There are plenty of straight guys that don't care about sports.
Just because you like dick up your ass doesnt mean you arent a man. Just act normal. You are a man and so are they.
speechless rn. sometimes i forget that I'm a man too, thanks for the advice lol
Generally speaking, straight guys talk about interests & hobbies not about life. Frankly I am the opposite of you, conversation with women and more feminine men is just super hard for me. I don’t like to talk about drama, what life was like in high school, reality tv, Taylor swift, shopping, etc. I can’t stand it. I am so bored. But I have realized I don’t need to lol. I am polite, but I don’t need to engage in conversation with people I share no common interests with. Most of my friends are straight men or masculine gays as a result. I have a friend who is into woodworking and making things, we talk about that for hours, one who is super into gardening I can talk about that, a straight friend who is an amazing chef / restauranteur, I love talking about that, etc But for this to work you need to share the interest and be interesting in return.
How do you find masculine gay friends? I am kinda socially awkward in the gym.
I totally get you!! I like both lol, I talk with my girlfriends about drama, gossip, relationships, etc and learn about sports, news, and talk gossip with straight guys too. I speak about everything with both people but I'm more comfortable in some stuff with men and comfortable in some stuff with men. I don't have any gay friends, and I'm really curious about how being friends with a person who's like me would be like.
Then just focus on finding mutual interests. Men like doing stuff they like together. Don’t force it. If it is something skill based, it’s fun too, and I don’t mean just sports, but could be video game, stupid bar games, whatever - it’s just just fun to have light competitiveness. I find they (and me) use it as an escape from every day drama, so I would recommend avoiding gossip and stuff.
> I don't like to talk about drama, what life was like in high school, reality tv, Taylor swift, shopping, etc. I can’t stand it. I am so bored. Why be so stereotypical lol. Sure some women and feminine men talk about these things but that's not everyone. Same with OP assuming every single straight guy is just gonna want to talk about sports. You're just cutting yourself off from meeting some amazing people with sweeping generalisations like that.
I mean, I wish that wasn’t what I find consistently but it is. Worse in groups because conversations usually become lowest common denominator. I also agree that many men simply just are stuck in sports, their “one thing” or simply don’t talk at all. I will always talk to anyone, I don’t purposefully avoid women / feminine folks, but if the general conversation is boring I politely leave. Stereotypes are rooted in reality, I am rarely surprised. But it happens every once in a while.
Weird, I'm not refuting your experience or anything like that, but I am so curious as to where you live. Is everyone that stereotypical? I'd say like 20% of people conform to the stereotypes of whatever they are, man woman gay straight feminine masculine, but I just don't really interact with them. Nothing wrong with them just not my thing. But everyone else, is usually a really interesting mix of different personalities values and interests. Most people I meet aren't stereotypical at all. All my close friends, 50% male 50% female, 70% straight 30% LGBT, are all really interesting people that don't conform to stereotypes. They'll maybe have 2 or 3 things about them that are stereotypical but are generally pretty balanced. Maybe it's because I'm in university. I just can't imagine the majority of the people around me being so consistently stereotypical as you say they are.
Could be an age thing. When I was younger I felt people were more interesting. As people aged many just got frankly less interesting. But this is more about personality and what people choose to talk about. And generally, men prefer to talk about “things” and women about “people”. I feel this has less to do with penis/vagina and more about masculine/feminine and where you are on the spectrum. For example, those topics I had above were not some random things I made up, those were the topics I endured at a bar last week with some of my more feminine gay acquaintances. Which were similar to the last time I was out with them. I have yet to walk up to a similar group and hear them chat about their investment strategies, some project that is consuming them, or a deep philosophical conversation. I am sure it happens. Lots of planning as to what country they can goto to see the Eras tour to watch someone lip sync for half the show tho.
Yeah and I guess what you yourself find interesting changes, like personally I can't imagine something more dull than talking about work related stuff like projects outside of work. I prefer to talk about hobbies and philosophical stuff, and also joking around with friends and talking about people. I'd say I and my friends are balanced in that way where we talk about things and people. So hopefully they'll stay interesting even when they get older cause it won't just be things or just people. But I do agree I can't stand when my friends chat at length about the Eras tour haha but I'm happy they're enjoying themselves. Me and my friend group are all pretty self aware so I take the piss out of the Eras tour stuff if they don't stop talking about it (lovingly of course) and they'll take the piss out of my stuff sometimes too if I'm going in a ramble about something haha. Still though. I feel like having the mindset of "people are so stereotypical" you'll just end up cherry picking evidence of that subconsciously and subconsciously ignore the opposite, examples of people not being stereotypical. I personally feel like that's a bad mindset to have but hey its your life and as people we have disagreements so go ahead. May I ask how old you are btw?
I didn’t mean work related stuff, a lot of people do some crazy interesting things tho, I work in technology, some of my friends are working on AI/LLMs and that shit is beyond fascinating. But, most people don’t do interesting things for work either, so I get why they don’t talk about it. To your point, I do try hard to not pre-judge a group of people, or try to steer the conversation out of boring town. Sometimes it works. If it doesn’t I just move on.
Yeah thats cool! My friend makes AI bots in his free time and that's pretty fun. I used to do coding myself making games and computers when I was younger but I'm more in the environmental science route now Yeah it seems like you maybe need to make more friends/aquintances if you're constantly having to drive the conversation away from things haha
Oh, yeah, that's the girls' world: Taylor swift and reality tv. Thanks god we're guys with actual hobbies, making stuff, growing food and cooking. Unless you're feminine, which means you're probably talking about Taylor's latest lipstick color.
I know that was intentionally sarcastic, but 9 out of 10 times it is completely accurate.
You just know everything about women.
Make conversations with the people you naturally gravitate towards. Don't ignore this type of straight guys, but don't try to force conversation. With anyone, really.
But I want to be friends with them. Because in the past I used to talk to some of them a lot, but now I feel too anxious to even talk to them. I'm trying to search for topics to talk about
Do you just want to talk to them or are you interested in them??
no i just want to talk to them and become friends
Me who can't talk to both men and women lasting five minutes 
I don’t know anything about sports but I like cars so that’s a starting point if I see or know they drive something I find interesting
I can’t hold a conversation with a straight guy because we have nothing in common most of the time. Their boring
Videogames, guy likes videogames.
This is what happens when your personality is being gay
A couple of my main friends are straight & we get along on the same topics, but they do begin to talk about sports and i just zone out lol. I’ll talk to them about music & such
same!! I have some straight best friends too! But they all know that im gay, and the same thing happens too lol they talk about sports and i just stay silent.
Yeah lol, i mean I am pretty athletic/competitive but I skate and play video games so it’s not the same. I’ll go to the bar and watch games & it opens up more door for conversation with them. I also like to ask questions about how certain things work on the court/field & they love to explain ofc lol.
oh my god yeah i totally forgot about games!!! I can speak about games!!
Talk about interests or make small talk about life
I talk to straight dudes just fine, because aside from liking dudes, we have very similar interests. It's gay dudes I often don't have a lot in common with
/r/AreTheStraightsOkay
Videogames, guy likes videogames.
Oh my god. They're not aliens from another planet with no evolutionary commonalities with Earth.
OP: most straight guys are generally okay with gay guys. And they're often as clueless as to how to interact with gay guys as you are with them. To really be friends, they need to respect you. I'm not sure what that looks like for the guys you are referring to, but figure that out and you should be good.
I’ve never thought that it’s about straight talk vs gay talk. I jive with some people, we can riff off of each other, and I don’t with some. Just general people skills really.
this. i would never change how or what i talk about based on a dude being gay or straight.
It's like gay women talking to straight women. You both have virtually nothing in common.
They're not a different species.
The whole ‘I’m gay so how could I possibly relate to straight men’ trope is so tired
Just... how you talk to anyone else. "How are you?" "What do you like to do?" Just cause they're straight doesn't mean you and them will have fundamental different ways of talking. We're all people, just some of us like cock and others like pussy lol. In my all male uni flat with 3 of my friends, 2 of them are entirely straight and they are some of the funniest and most interesting people I've met.
I'm not comfortable with them. Honestly most straight guys hate gays so you are better off avoiding them.
I dont talk to them, hope that helps!
add "bro" to the end of every sentence. you'll be accepted at that point.
honestly this is great advice, I'll actually try this.
Learn social skills
Seriously leave the basement fucking autist
I usually talk about memes, gym stuff, and cooking. You just got to find common interests lol.
In any social situation, just ask questions. People usually love talking about themselves and their interests.
Sup bra? See them sports ball team? (/s)
With anybody I just ask or discuss topics and look for commonalities. If we share something in common, then I’ll explore the topic and hope it leads to another topic of more interest. For example, at the gym: - Oh hey. I like your (Nike) shoes. They look nice! - Hey thanks. Yeah I got them recently. - Gotcha. Do you use them for running? I’m looking for a new pair of running shoes. - yeah I like to run and needed a new pair. - Are you part of the local run club? It’s a good time. They host runs once a week, you should check it out if you haven’t been. - no but I’ve been looking for running buddies! - yeah it’s a cool place to meet people…x y z Yada yada yada, now you’re talking about a run club and activities outside the gym. New friend :) 😂
I don't base my friends on their sexuality but rather interests we share and values. The majority of my friends are gay men since I live a very gay lifestyle, work in fashion, and live in a major city. But it's surprising by how much support I get from straight men who like my style and want to support me. I don't even reach them out as friends. It's nice because I don't have to try to put on airs or be more "bro". I can just be myself since they like my talent. I just tend not to talk too much about gay sex stuff with them unless they're curious.
Ask about movies or video games is usually a good start
I’m more of a listener than a talker, which makes this easy - find out what they’re interested in (just ask, or ask what they did over the weekend and use that info to go off of) and ask them to tell you about it. Most people love to talk, and especially love it when other people show interest in what they’re saying. So let them talk, ask questions, and then you can always use it as a jumping off point - “that’s really cool, I’d like to learn more about it - looks like there’s a nearby event/place, would you want to check it out next weekend?” or whatever.
What are their interests, what are your interests. Talk about that. I love politics, philosophy, science, religion and social topics. SciFi, aliens etc.
What planet do you live at where you haven't had casual conversations with str8 people before?
Just like you would talk to anybody else. What’s the purpose of talking to them?
Hey straight dude do you suck cock ? No why because i want to suck yours and you suck mine. No thanks bro its not my scene, well how not i thought you would choose cock over pussy since your straight 😜
Most of the times I am with guys we're just enjoying eachothers company. Not taking unless a conversation flows naturally I am the same with girls. & I can't say it doesn't work the same way with them
What do you say to gay guys? You can talk about all the same things with straight guys (except for talking about gay culture or hot guys).
honestly, I've never talked to a single gay guy before. Im 17 years old, but I never had gay friends
So then it sounds like your real question is how do you talk to people you don't know well. It revolves around finding something that you both enjoy talking about, or that you both have in common.
Don’t treat them any different than anyone else. Ask about their day, school, work, plans for the weekend and riff off those responses. Making conversation is about making people talk about themselves, not talking to them about yourself.
You could try screaming their name from afar and laughing. That’s how I made a straight friend in 7th grade. Was friends for years in my early 20s.
Always ask more than say more. And if you don’t know what to ask, ask something that puts them on the spot a little bit. One of mine is “so what’s the last thing you and your girlfriend fought about.” Or you could get a rise out of them and say “It’s so nice that Taylor Swift put Mr. Nobody Kelce on the map” Humor is good but sincere interest is paramount
My experience with straight guys has been great. Just talk to them normally more of them will accept it than you think
What do you usually talk about when you talk to other people in your life? At the very least you can just do small talk. I get that not everyone is good at small talk but it takes practice to improve.
Be yourself! Find shared interests. Video ganes! Movies! Shows! Be funny. Witty. Don't try to play a card for them. I can tell you most straight men love a different vibe, love, and energy confident gay men bring to the table
Straight guys don’t hold hour long conversations. They do things together and maybe talk about those thing. It’s ok to just hang and not gab.
Shit, I just spend an hour talking to a hetero cisgender white male for about an hour. We talked about sports and our sex lives.
Fellas, this is why it is important to have some friendships with straight men in your life. If you only hang out with women, and only have feminine-oriented interests, you are going to be completely clueless with how to interact with 90% of the male population. I've seen this question multiple times here and the post always has something along the lines of "I only hang out with girls". Do you see the issue here? You don't have to be Paul Bunyan-levels of butch to have straight male friends. That's the beauty of male friendships: They're uncomplicated. Just find a hobby -- ANY hobby, where men gravitate to, and you can bond over it. Do you like video games? Boom! You can make a bunch of male friends like that.
This is the dumbest question. The only difference between the two of you is who you sleep with. Like what? If all you talk about is dudes and sex and being gay because you have no personality and the brain cell count of a prehistoric phytoplankton then it will be hard to carry on a conversation with anyone outside a very set group. Most of the world is straight males. So don’t complain. 1. Do something other than gay this gay that. Like go do an activity OUTSIDE! 2. Realize there’s a shit ton to talk about with anyone because we all have a myriad of shared experiences (it’s why memes are so funny) 3. Then talk about these things Ffs
Always remember that recognition is our most important need. Every single one of us craves an audience. Someone who's genuinely curious; some one who takes an honest interest in us. And professional listeners are rare. So as long as you're curious, present and just as open, there's no one you can't talk to (well almost no one).
I don’t talk to straight men unless it’s work related or school projects. Straight men act weird when they find out that I’m gay and they automatically think I’m into them so I just avoid straight men. I just talk to women and other gay men.
What donyou to your femles friends about? I'm sure guys will talk about some of the same topics.
We usually just talk about cars and other motorized vehicles. But all my guy friends are gearheads. We can talk for hours about car stuff. Pretty much every time we are at the bar, we will start debating which diesel engine is the best and why the 4.0 XJ Cherokee was the best vehicle ever made.
Why to talk? Just be a listener. That's my policy.
we're not different species, we're all human. maybe if you can't find enough in common with them to be able to hold a conversation, don't force it.
There's some great advice in here already but I'd like to add: stop viewing them as /them/. You're essentially othering them, which will only hinder your ability to communicate. Look at what is similar or the same between you and others, and focus less on what's different
They’re people just like anyone else. Can’t group all their interests together. That line of thinking doesn’t even make sense. You ask what they are into, their hobbies, just like anyone else. 🙄 😂 Why overthink this? We’re all human. If you know how to start a conversation with someone you’ll be fine.
All of my friends are straight or bi and literally they’re like anybody else. Who cares lol
As a gay guy who has a lot of straight friends, the type of guy mm nvaries. The ghetto-hood kind of guy talks with a lot of slurred-ish words (like they don't rly enunciate). Their most tame conversation usually is video games, and their most extreme is drugs. These are the type of guys I have most experience with because that's just the kind of school I went to. Not sure if this will help. I'm just a gay dude that recently came out semi-publicly, and all my friends are okay with it (yes the straight guys too.) I'm lucky to have these kinds of friends I guess. Also, generally just try to see where they go with the conversation. Don't be awkward (like be a little confident, as friends should be with each other.) Also, they're human too. They operate probably half the way you do. Since you're also a guy it's probably not too hard to be a bit relatable. Don't force it. If there is little conversation to make then it's probably for the best you don't talk to them. Just try to be cool and make friends I guess.
https://youtu.be/6yN2H3--1aw?feature=shared
Idk. I can talk to pretty much anyone except "valley girl" airhead types. Basically, you just figure out what they like and talk about that. Like, i work in kitchens. Most people i work with like cooking. So i talk about stuff i like to cook like fried rice or pasta dishes or weird shit i've eaten like rattlesnake, eel, catfish, beaver, bear. If i'm at a bar, work tends to be a good choice. I hear it isn't a good topic in europe, especially france, as they look at talking about work as a chore or something, but in america, at a bar, it works for me to just be like "so, what do you do for work?" And then bullshit about that. Like, i used to work construction. You could also try "what do you do for fun". Then, talk about that. If they like different stuff than you, like, say, they're into a sport and you aren't, just say what you know about the sport. Like I know fuck all about basketball, but when I'm around guys who like basketball, I just say that i don't know much about it, but i know that like, steph curry is making waves as a great shooter, or that the kobe thing was sad, or that Larry Bird was this weirdly technical dude who didn't do anything really well but played awesome overall, or that the lebron and jordan debate goes on. i Just bring up one of those things and let them talk.
Damn I guess I'm lucky I like most straight guy things😭
Man were easy to talk too.. anything and everything.. no different from anyone else.
Introduce yourself first, then see who and how they react. I find it easier to "listen" to the conversation, if something is said that sparks my interest. Then I'll put my 2 cents in.
Well… stop thinking of them as “straight guys” and accept that they’re just guys, just like you are. Break down that barrier where you still see them as something other than what you are and well, focus on the things you have in common. It could be something as simple as a crappy teacher, or an exam that’s coming up… you don’t have to talk about “straight” things. TV Shows, Movies, Games, Anime, Music… the options are limitless
Just talk to people like a human being. What in the world.
Me talking to my straight coworker. Coworker "bitch" Me "slut" Coworker "whore" Me "cumdump"
give them attitude. No if's, no but's
It’s giving you have a crush on them and are deflecting
Tell the str8 guy that you’re nervous and ask to see his dick…. Lol
Straight guys are super easy to talk to imo. All my best friends are straight. You talk to them the same as you would any of your other friends. Discuss interests, sports, video games, etc. Helps to have some liquor going to help lube the conversation lol
Straight guys generally connect more with light teasing and jokes which women seem to grt bothered by. Find out what their are interested in!
If you're the one initiating the convo. You can start by asking do you *insert activity*? An example of me with others, "oh, you watch anime? I saw you watching overlord and demon slayer." Then the convo naturally flows. I mean to begin, it's not always about being straight or gay or others. We're all humans. You can even ask how was your day and that's really plenty.
just talk to them without accent. thats the least ok so this is one tip ,a straight top gave me . lmaoo
I have no idea on how to talk with 80% of the str8 guys I know. The way they talk about women, like they are sex toys. And they are always scratching their balls and spitting. To be honest, I have no interest in talk to them.
real lmaoo