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I can't stand cultural appropriation *or* nepo-babies. White dudes need to stop ripping off soul music, whether their dad owns the record label or not.
uj/ It has a shameful history — my wife dragged me to a ballet, and I was bored to tears. The music was bad, and our seats were bad, so I couldn’t even see inside the orchestra pit (which is what I normally watch when we go to the ballet.)
But she’s been a good sport about operas and Cattle Decapitation concerts, so I can’t complain.
"YEAH JESUS! PLAY ' Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?'!"
both are corrwct
as an 90s evangelical kid, I can report that dc talk did indeed cover the doobie's song, and had an accompanying music video of people backfilling on huge trampolines in the desert. the down with the dc talk like was added in as an adlib style counter hook. quite the produciion.
I wonder if you believe and ya fuckup where that guy guitar jesus would send you cause you know the devil has TOAN MAN that dude is literally shredding on the regular. Think it would be some place like where Berry manilow or them others old dudes going cause he'll may be too good a spot for us musicians!! 🙃🤬🤬🤬👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👺👺👺
This guy once killed the firstborn of every single person in an entire city because the mayor wouldn’t let this guy’s church buddies out of a labour contract.
Then, when the city implemented a return to work policy, he drowned the entire police force.
Just to name a few.
Straight up religious terrorist.
Bin Laden didn’t murder 1% of this guy’s body count.
The Dayman is a bit of a weirdo-douchebag. However, he is the fighter of the nightman, a master of karate, and if I talk shit I worry he's gonna kick my ass too.
American Jesus hair is too perfect. Doesn’t even entertain the fact that he’s a middle eastern man. Also all them church chords. Never touches the tritone.
this mf is in a band where the lead singer is attracted into minors
https://preview.redd.it/6lsdeatsj8ad1.jpeg?width=554&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=55a7e15134d88940188fcc4b5414c8d7defbf776
This photo should be familiar to anybody who’s been to The Catalyst in Santa Cruz.
https://preview.redd.it/0gd1i0qw79ad1.jpeg?width=778&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8b6122ef79642b39950883c6f9e360752c59964f
I don't know.
I heard there was a secret chord
That David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
Well it goes like this the fourth, the fifth
The minor fall and the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
He showed up Jacked in Support of the orange guy. Plays bro country but turns water into wine instead of cold Coors lite. His brother Craig is way cooler
He's kinda solid, but his fan base are the fuckin worst! He's just trying to noodle out some sweet peaceful harmonies, while the J-Heads scream you're gonna burn for not recognizing his Awesomeness. Probably why he doesn't hang out with his fans. Still nepo-baby tho.
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The only chord he knows is Gsus
Nobody on this sub will get this joke. 🙂
WHAT AM CORB TELL ME SO I GET THE JOBK
Seejus
Pride month is over I'm not thinking about jazz until next June
Ow, my jazzticles
High level of music knowledge required, share if you get it
I got it.....gahahaha
It's because men who wear g stings are sus
He gets us.
He get sus
Got it ✨
What, are we talking about video cards now?
I do
Only Beato gets it.
And he’s probably about to tell us why my joke is ruining the world.
You must watch Pat Finnerty, YouTubes biggest jerker.
You called?
His followers really love A minor though
Mostly the preachers though
nah just the catholics
There’s a decent amount of it in the southern Baptist community as well.
Preachers are bad about it too. They jerk in the worst way
common misconception
Except every week evangelist getting arrested for being pedo sbc
He never spoke of his own (a)chord.
This is the best thing ive seen today.
Why is G sus? Are we playing Among Us?
On the third day he vented from the tomb
Is that 0, 3 or 5?
3.
I can't stand cultural appropriation *or* nepo-babies. White dudes need to stop ripping off soul music, whether their dad owns the record label or not.
DO YOU KNOW WHO MY DAD IS?
He only plays Creed it’s super fucking annoying
He’s playing that secret chord he learned from David probably. Anyway, that’s a Squire. What a fuckin poser.
That's Fender Squire to you, sinner.
He can turn it into a custom shop model.
That's either a big tele or a tiny jebus
It’s well known that people were much shorter 2000 years ago
I was led to believe he was a Nordic ubermensch.
He’s Korean
Hole up. Jesus is not Korean. North Korean, maybe, but definitely not Korean.
"Real Korean Jesus" makes for some fun googling
They don't call him the baby Jesus for nothing
https://preview.redd.it/3td1k6qjx6ad1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ceeac724f90834278f41268dd872e254f112457c
JC phone home
Eliiii.... Jah
https://preview.redd.it/9xkdgxvsw6ad1.jpeg?width=1973&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c8dd33c30a915bddac67ec11bddb7e90dd9c1147
Toan is stored in the balls
That is a very scientific cartoon.
uj/ It has a shameful history — my wife dragged me to a ballet, and I was bored to tears. The music was bad, and our seats were bad, so I couldn’t even see inside the orchestra pit (which is what I normally watch when we go to the ballet.) But she’s been a good sport about operas and Cattle Decapitation concerts, so I can’t complain.
Cattle WHAT?????
HE SAID CATTLE DECAPITATION
🏅
bringing new meaning to the word televangelist
Best comment!!!
Is this Barry Gibb of The Bee Gees
how can you mend a broken chord
And staying alive.
I STARTED A JOKE THAT STARTED THE WHOLE WORLD CRYING
He shredded for your sins
It’s not really him I hate. Much like Dave Mathew’s Band or Ohio State Football, it’s his fans I can’t stand.
/uj as an Ohio native, who tries to be a considerate Ohio state fan... I get it.
The fucker made me wait 3 bloody days for an encore at his final gig!!!
"YEAH JESUS! PLAY ' Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?'!"
What you're saying is that he played Freebird?
I wanted him too but he was halfway though Gimme Three Steps when things got GWAR
I'm sick of this AI crap, Jesus would not play a Tele...
Totally. We all know my man JC played a ‘59 LP
Bro, he plays a PRS through three Big Sky pedals. I know because that’s what the guitarist in my worship band plays.
With a Super Fuzz, through a Plexi
Jesus is just alright with me
I'm down with the dc talk
That's the Doobie Brothers! Repent your sin!
both are corrwct as an 90s evangelical kid, I can report that dc talk did indeed cover the doobie's song, and had an accompanying music video of people backfilling on huge trampolines in the desert. the down with the dc talk like was added in as an adlib style counter hook. quite the produciion.
“This next song is called “Once Upon the Cross” by Deicide”
Can't do it. This guy died with a raging hard on, and that's something you gotta respect. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_erection
caaaan yoooo taaaaake me hiiigggggher
Damn I've learned something from this group!
I filled my guitar with water then changed it to wine… INsAnE tOAn
He ruined my (whatever that old tremolo pedal was with water in it).
i NEED more info about this
Fucker is singing in Aramaic!
Isn’t he the guitarist for nine inch nails?
According to the gospel Luke 035...
jesus fucking christ i can't stand the guy
Cos he won't shut up about who does and doesn't belong the rock n roll hall of fame
Only the ones who were influenced by his later work.
I wonder if you believe and ya fuckup where that guy guitar jesus would send you cause you know the devil has TOAN MAN that dude is literally shredding on the regular. Think it would be some place like where Berry manilow or them others old dudes going cause he'll may be too good a spot for us musicians!! 🙃🤬🤬🤬👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👺👺👺
he fucked my wife
Fake. Teles only came with maple fretboards and truss hole at the bottom during the first century.
Well that's Gsus, but for some reason his followers seem to love noodling in A minor.
Cuz he plays a tele and teles are gay as AIDS
Went down to the crossroads but nobody showed up, so still can't play.
I hear he's a real shitty carpenter.
we don't know how good a luthier he is tho
Look at Ritchie Rich over here playing a top of the line custom shop relic’d Tele.
Fucking youth pastor - just keep your kids away from Him
Can’t hate him, he’s playin a sick tele
Dental school dropout. Couldn’t even afford a PRS.
He’s not into Judas Priest.
This guy once killed the firstborn of every single person in an entire city because the mayor wouldn’t let this guy’s church buddies out of a labour contract. Then, when the city implemented a return to work policy, he drowned the entire police force. Just to name a few. Straight up religious terrorist. Bin Laden didn’t murder 1% of this guy’s body count.
His fans are by far the most annoying
he's cool, his fans are fucking pricks though
So anyways... here's Wonderwall
His followers barely know any chords. It’s either all G C D or modal polyphony
he doesn't play 7 string very lame and not metal
Prick could have turned that water into Jack Daniel’s, but noooo, we must have wine.
His favourite band is Nine inch Nails
What a twist, I figure it would be lamb of god
Was the guy that was on previous to him playing a BC?
I've always been a fan, actually. His dad's a huge asshole though.
Because he never shared his so called holy chord voicings “For I did not speak of my own a-cord” - John 12:49
Tiny Jesus or baritone tele?
‘Anyway, here’s Smoke On the Wine’
It's not the band I hate, it's the fans.
People are always saying he'll go on tour again but he never does.
Don’t hate him, just his followers.
Hasn't made a concert in over 2000 years.
I got no beef with him, but his fans are the worst
Motherfucker doesn't even know how to wear a god dammed poncho.
White pale dudes with brown hair and beards living in that part of the worls?
All he plays is stairway to heaven
Jesus sold me a bunk eighth, shit was all stems and seeds
His fanbase
Has to be playing stairway, right?
Told other artists not to get rich… becomes biggest artist of all time. Sellout
His fanbase is pure trash...
Cuz he wrote holy diver
What’s to hate about Rory Gallagher? Just don’t listen to him if you don’t like it.
He’s a grifter
He got mad at me last time I told him he "nailed" that solo.
That’s one big telecaster.
Billy Ray Cyrus can go to hell!
Tries to play slide with a fuckin nail
Butterscotch Tele colored halo, for starters.
Who's that homeless guy dressed in bedsheets?
Water to wine?!?! Probably plays jazz.
Dude has a 5 fret spread on that chord.
The Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost note.
Clapton sucks.
The Dayman is a bit of a weirdo-douchebag. However, he is the fighter of the nightman, a master of karate, and if I talk shit I worry he's gonna kick my ass too.
He just up and left
He only came twice I was promised three comings
Bit of a preacher
He has a multi thousand dollar pedal board but only plays cowboy chord baptist hymnals.
I wont have you talk bad about John Frusciante like this.
Take it back man, Kenny Loggins is a national treasure
David Koresh had the sickest jams
Sittin’ downtown in a railway station, one toke over the line.
This guy played in The Tragically Hip
Tone is in the holes in your hands
Because I like Cat Stevens
He stole my heroin
He can’t play Black Sabbath backwards
I hate him, but he has the hands to nail the solo…
His own dad even said "pffffft, *later."*
He only grew his hair like that to look like Cobain
This guy thinks he’s Guitar Jesus.
First of all his bass has too many fuckin strings!
Loggins and Messina had some cool early stuff.
Jesus knows all the chords not just gsus. He and his father made everything.
because if i get 12 of my friends to believe everything i say im a ‘cult leader’ but this guy gets to be ‘the almighty’. fucking bulkshit man.
Bet he played the brown note when those nails went in.
All I know is humans and dinosaurs lived together harmoniously four thousand years ago before this guy came in.
He played my guitar and got it all bloody with the holes in his hands.
Singlehandedly responsible for the Christian rock genre
6 fingers on the fretting hand and 4 one the picking. Non wonder people think he’s god
This is my blood. This is my body. This is how you remind me of what I really am.
He thinks he’s so cool with his little water into wine and healing leprosy tricks. Not impressed
American Jesus hair is too perfect. Doesn’t even entertain the fact that he’s a middle eastern man. Also all them church chords. Never touches the tritone.
this mf is in a band where the lead singer is attracted into minors https://preview.redd.it/6lsdeatsj8ad1.jpeg?width=554&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=55a7e15134d88940188fcc4b5414c8d7defbf776
Get on your knees and please Jesus Take his love all over your face
He never clarified to a damn soul that some USB cables just won't do data transfer and only charge your fuckin' device
This photo should be familiar to anybody who’s been to The Catalyst in Santa Cruz. https://preview.redd.it/0gd1i0qw79ad1.jpeg?width=778&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8b6122ef79642b39950883c6f9e360752c59964f
Check out Guitar George
Shouldn’t Jeebus be shredding with a Les Paul supreme?
Oh please we all know JC would be playing a PRS.
Is that the JC signature model? Comes with switch to turn water into wine.
I mean he made worship guitar a thing
What's wrong with John Petrucci?
He turned a strat into a tele
Ugh why are Americans so obsessed with Country?
I don't know. I heard there was a secret chord That David played and it pleased the Lord But you don't really care for music, do you? Well it goes like this the fourth, the fifth The minor fall and the major lift The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Is it his birthday?
"Toooooddddaaaaaayyyyyyy was gonna be the dayyyy..."
He does like them young.
Pedal board entirely Strymon, causing climate change with amperage demands, the unconscionable bastard!
He’s using the neck pickup on a telecaster. What’s not to hate?
This mother had an electric guitar years before electricity
Zeppelin did all that shit 50 years ago
He died for my sins? Bitch if you didn't like my sins why did you always come over to play sega and eat pizza?
The only Jesus with a Guitar is Dave Mustaine.
He showed up Jacked in Support of the orange guy. Plays bro country but turns water into wine instead of cold Coors lite. His brother Craig is way cooler
Will play same chord wrong twice
He's kinda solid, but his fan base are the fuckin worst! He's just trying to noodle out some sweet peaceful harmonies, while the J-Heads scream you're gonna burn for not recognizing his Awesomeness. Probably why he doesn't hang out with his fans. Still nepo-baby tho.
He plays in too many bands. Nuns & Moses, AD/BC, Def Shepherd, Twisted Scripture, etc.
Dude reckons he's more popular than the Beatles!
how can this guy be a legend if he aint playing a jazzmaster