Dump her. She cheated because she wanted to, there's no other reason behind it and any difficulty in communication should have been addressed appropriately instead of using it as a reason/justification to hurt you. She doesn't care about your feelings if she places her instincts above the bond you two share and even uses her lack of self control to make you feel bad - that's an actual reason to break up. I know it's hard because I can see you've invested a lot in this person emotionally but she's playing a losing game.
Chin up and move on, you'll find someone worth your time soon.
I read your post and think about this quote "Imagine being bit by a snake and instead of trying to help yourself heal & recover from the poison, you are trying to catch the snake to find out the reason it bit you and prove to it that you didn't deserve that."
Came here to say this. I got the same treatment once. It was so ridiculous that it wasn't even worth the argument.
"Yeah, sure, whatever you say. You're right. And completely delusional."
This happened when it's only been 4-5 months into the relationship??
Holy balls. Time to let this one go. "The one" wouldnt treat you like this & **blame you for it**
Edit: mistyped
It sounds like you've taken up the job of sheltering yourself from your own emotions (when it gets to be too much and too painful to hear), which makes her feel that you're not listening to her. And then, in your statement, you're having to shelter her emotions because she's on edge. It's a no win situation. You need to tell her why you cut her off, that you're trying to protect yourself. Except, now YOU are hurt also so you're both having to tip toe around each other.
I don't know if it's too late, it sounds like she has emotionally moved on.
Things may not be able to work out for you two because both of you are kind of the same in that when you become hurt, you can't be present for the other
There are ways of getting around this but you both need to be willing to put in the work. I think you need outside help with this one.
Will you love her next time she does it? Will you love her when the next time she takes it a step further with someone else? What will she say next time that you're not doing enough for her to make her do that? How flimsy of an excuse do you need? If you weren't listening enough, why wouldn't she tell you instead of going behind your back and waiting until you found out to admit it? Of course she's not sorry, because she doesn't love you. Anybody that would love you wouldn't do that. And then to blame it on you? My guy, you are refusing to see facts. This will happen again. Especially so early in your relationship. She doesn't respect you in the least.
You need to become stronger or people (her) will cut you down at the knees and ruin your self worth. Might seem hard, but the sooner you act the less of an emotional mess this will become. When someone shows you their true colors, don’t not believe them. CUT TIES.
##You know this is the answer. Just do it!
let the trash take itself out
there is no coming back from cheating esp since she not only didnt immediately take accountability but has stayed in contact w the dude
Cheaters has no reason to cheat
If anything happens in your relationship she should address all the problems and find solutions
And if beyond repair she could leave piece fully
She just wants to pin you with guilty with her own mistakes
"uys i really like this girl and think she might be my wife but i am not certain cause i feel hurt " she CHEATED ON YOU. it's called dignity. have some, it's free.
I meant help in being able to get past places within when you come to a standstill emotionally. Sometimes people need therapy in order to do that, that's what I meant by outside help.
Trust her actions, not her words. Her words mean nothing because she lied and cheated. Breakup is not cause of him? Yeah, it is. That's the same thing my ex said after I caught her cheating on me. She wanted to break up and said it wasn't cause of him...until I found out she was in fact dating him.
Cheating is a choice. It doesn't matter if she says there were things you didn't do. She chose to cheat on you instead of communicating like a healthy adult.
Brother. Are you aware that she probably had sex with that guy... Or at least wishing it would happen... think about that for a bit...
If she kissed a guy, and break the barrier, you think she felt bad at that moment ?
She is gone,baba...
The thing that hurts you is your wounds from childhood... You might be a "people pleaser"..
I have simmilar case, but I am "semi-healed"...
I have noticed that people like "what have you describe" have never been loved or appriciated... Never felt valued for who they are....
Look it up from third perspective...
.......
There is an emotional guy on reddit, that wants to get back his short term girlfriend. That cheated on him... By the way, she is flight attendant.... So whenever she get "ovulation" part of her month, and her college's go out to party, she comes with them... And if she wants to hook up with someone, she is gone by two days, and no one will ever know...
........
I am harsh, but you are not willing to see what is going on.
Now, at this moment. You are the weakest that you have ever been.
Why would she wanted to be with you,now ?
To care about you, to regulate your emotions, to calm you down...
It's a bit selfish to expect that, since she cheated on you... Dont you think ?
......
It is fine to be hurt,feel bad, you were betrayed... And maybe not just by her, i feel like there was a lot of difficult in your life. And you have finally found peace in your life with her...
Finnaly after all these years you have found a girl ,that you always wanted. And you let it go, and from your perspective it is your fault... You could act better, you could do this, or that, or maybe if you just do this, everything could change...
No,no and no...
We all have our pasts, future, wants and needs... And sometimes the connection is good. You like "support and care" she likes " acts of service" you were maybe aligned by the way of giving and reciving love. At it feels beutiful, magical, one of a kind, a soulmate...
But you work like this, she work like that... She doesnt want to quit her job, to make it work, you just got an job, so you couldn't change as well... So your futures goes in different directions ....
For the future, if you have raised without a father figure ( I was).. you need to promise to your self, that you will never, ever... Act like this again ... This is everything , but not "musculine" or in other words "attractive" to females ..
You really need to toughten up bro .. and to start reading this comments...
Life is HARD for a guy that let his emotions guide his life....
I get what you guys are saying but i do admit that i haven’t been the best person to be with. I once addressed my issue of the miscommunication and when she asked if she could take some time to process it i said “i dont think i want to hear it cause it will feel real” i can admit that i may have made her feel like her emotions were stifled in that moment but its cause i never thought i had opened the flood gates. I always thought we would work it out. She also noted a comment i made about a lower back piercing that she wanted to get and I disapproved cause at the time i genuinely thought she was joking. She says i made her feel like she couldnt feel comfortable enough to say her emotions to me, but i always regularly checked in. I think i should wait before i contact her again cause she says she still likes me but she feels like its these things that arent working for her. Should i still try ?
The biggest lie a cheater can do is “I still like/ love you.” They will say “I love you” and cheat you. She will get sexual pleasure from someone else and you will give her emotional support. How tf can you be with someone who will use you for some shhittty pleasure of her?
If you have no self respect and you can tolerate her seeing having sex in the street with bunch of boys in front of your eyes, then you are free to go and get back with her. She will cheat you constantly whether emotionally or physically. Even she will cheat you in her imagination.
So take her back at your own risk. ⚠️
You can, the problem is that you are going through a phase that we all have been through, which is the phase where you have accept that you “had put all your eggs in one basket” on this girl or another way of putting it, is that you “placed all your bets on this girl being the one and you lost your bet”.
Just like someone who actually lost all their money on a bad bet, you feel defeated and lost and like everything is over, but what you are feeling is just “emotional rock bottom”, but find comfort in knowing that there are people who have been in your exact position or even worse and they have managed to bounce back and learn from the experience and became better as a result.
One thing aside from everything said that will offer you momentary help, but don’t cling onto it, is that the world is constantly changing and you never know what might happen, maybe this time apart giver her time to reflect and change as well as for you and you never know what might happen down the road, but just work on yourself.
Yes you can. She’s a shit person who couldn’t keep herself together at a festival and messed around with a stranger. She’s feeling the vacation high right now and I think you should leave her b.
And I’m only seeing this post to come to reddit about my own new fling going ghost since night 3 at a damn Music festival this weekend. He’s not been the same since and we’ve already been talking about meeting families and a future. Derailed by drunkeness. He hasn’t admitted to anything yet, I just saw it coming in his behavior. These people aren’t marrying material. Let them go and grow.
Show people you are serious and demand respect!
Eventually, you’ll look back and seriously cringe at the words you wrote at this time in your life 💯 You just gotta be strong and disciplined enough to get there.
Dump her. She cheated because she wanted to, there's no other reason behind it and any difficulty in communication should have been addressed appropriately instead of using it as a reason/justification to hurt you. She doesn't care about your feelings if she places her instincts above the bond you two share and even uses her lack of self control to make you feel bad - that's an actual reason to break up. I know it's hard because I can see you've invested a lot in this person emotionally but she's playing a losing game. Chin up and move on, you'll find someone worth your time soon.
I read your post and think about this quote "Imagine being bit by a snake and instead of trying to help yourself heal & recover from the poison, you are trying to catch the snake to find out the reason it bit you and prove to it that you didn't deserve that."
Oooo gaslighting! Fun! 🤦🏼‍♂️
Came here to say this. I got the same treatment once. It was so ridiculous that it wasn't even worth the argument. "Yeah, sure, whatever you say. You're right. And completely delusional."
lol I didn’t even read it but I knew it from the start
if you marry her, get the name of a good divorce attorney
Get rid of her like yesterday’s potato peelings. Cheated then blamed you? She’s an abusive person; no question.
This happened when it's only been 4-5 months into the relationship?? Holy balls. Time to let this one go. "The one" wouldnt treat you like this & **blame you for it** Edit: mistyped
Dont be a cuck. Break up with her
She belongs to the streets, homie. Release her back into her natural habitat 🗣️
Dodged a bullet. Cheaters never change
A flight attendant who already is cheating on you. Yeah good luck with this winner.
It sounds like you've taken up the job of sheltering yourself from your own emotions (when it gets to be too much and too painful to hear), which makes her feel that you're not listening to her. And then, in your statement, you're having to shelter her emotions because she's on edge. It's a no win situation. You need to tell her why you cut her off, that you're trying to protect yourself. Except, now YOU are hurt also so you're both having to tip toe around each other. I don't know if it's too late, it sounds like she has emotionally moved on. Things may not be able to work out for you two because both of you are kind of the same in that when you become hurt, you can't be present for the other There are ways of getting around this but you both need to be willing to put in the work. I think you need outside help with this one.
Outside help how ? Can you please elaborate?
I think you should grieve the loss and move on. In the long run I think you’re better off. There’re a lot of red flags 🚩 when it comes to her cheating.
This isn't a good look for flight attendants.....
You are a FOOL if you are still with her.Unless you like being a cuck. She will do it again.
Its different. I love her, it cuts too deep because i want to make it work
Will you love her next time she does it? Will you love her when the next time she takes it a step further with someone else? What will she say next time that you're not doing enough for her to make her do that? How flimsy of an excuse do you need? If you weren't listening enough, why wouldn't she tell you instead of going behind your back and waiting until you found out to admit it? Of course she's not sorry, because she doesn't love you. Anybody that would love you wouldn't do that. And then to blame it on you? My guy, you are refusing to see facts. This will happen again. Especially so early in your relationship. She doesn't respect you in the least.
You need to become stronger or people (her) will cut you down at the knees and ruin your self worth. Might seem hard, but the sooner you act the less of an emotional mess this will become. When someone shows you their true colors, don’t not believe them. CUT TIES. ##You know this is the answer. Just do it!
You're better off without her. You got a great paying job, love will find you again don't worry. You'll be wiser about partnerships
Good riddance, she showed you what kind of person she is, believe her.
let the trash take itself out there is no coming back from cheating esp since she not only didnt immediately take accountability but has stayed in contact w the dude
Cheaters has no reason to cheat If anything happens in your relationship she should address all the problems and find solutions And if beyond repair she could leave piece fully She just wants to pin you with guilty with her own mistakes
"uys i really like this girl and think she might be my wife but i am not certain cause i feel hurt " she CHEATED ON YOU. it's called dignity. have some, it's free.
I meant help in being able to get past places within when you come to a standstill emotionally. Sometimes people need therapy in order to do that, that's what I meant by outside help.
Trust her actions, not her words. Her words mean nothing because she lied and cheated. Breakup is not cause of him? Yeah, it is. That's the same thing my ex said after I caught her cheating on me. She wanted to break up and said it wasn't cause of him...until I found out she was in fact dating him. Cheating is a choice. It doesn't matter if she says there were things you didn't do. She chose to cheat on you instead of communicating like a healthy adult.
Cheated on you? Enough for me you don’t even need to ask what you could do about that. Move on
Brother. Are you aware that she probably had sex with that guy... Or at least wishing it would happen... think about that for a bit... If she kissed a guy, and break the barrier, you think she felt bad at that moment ? She is gone,baba... The thing that hurts you is your wounds from childhood... You might be a "people pleaser".. I have simmilar case, but I am "semi-healed"... I have noticed that people like "what have you describe" have never been loved or appriciated... Never felt valued for who they are.... Look it up from third perspective... ....... There is an emotional guy on reddit, that wants to get back his short term girlfriend. That cheated on him... By the way, she is flight attendant.... So whenever she get "ovulation" part of her month, and her college's go out to party, she comes with them... And if she wants to hook up with someone, she is gone by two days, and no one will ever know... ........ I am harsh, but you are not willing to see what is going on. Now, at this moment. You are the weakest that you have ever been. Why would she wanted to be with you,now ? To care about you, to regulate your emotions, to calm you down... It's a bit selfish to expect that, since she cheated on you... Dont you think ? ...... It is fine to be hurt,feel bad, you were betrayed... And maybe not just by her, i feel like there was a lot of difficult in your life. And you have finally found peace in your life with her... Finnaly after all these years you have found a girl ,that you always wanted. And you let it go, and from your perspective it is your fault... You could act better, you could do this, or that, or maybe if you just do this, everything could change... No,no and no... We all have our pasts, future, wants and needs... And sometimes the connection is good. You like "support and care" she likes " acts of service" you were maybe aligned by the way of giving and reciving love. At it feels beutiful, magical, one of a kind, a soulmate... But you work like this, she work like that... She doesnt want to quit her job, to make it work, you just got an job, so you couldn't change as well... So your futures goes in different directions .... For the future, if you have raised without a father figure ( I was).. you need to promise to your self, that you will never, ever... Act like this again ... This is everything , but not "musculine" or in other words "attractive" to females .. You really need to toughten up bro .. and to start reading this comments... Life is HARD for a guy that let his emotions guide his life....
They always do mate
I get what you guys are saying but i do admit that i haven’t been the best person to be with. I once addressed my issue of the miscommunication and when she asked if she could take some time to process it i said “i dont think i want to hear it cause it will feel real” i can admit that i may have made her feel like her emotions were stifled in that moment but its cause i never thought i had opened the flood gates. I always thought we would work it out. She also noted a comment i made about a lower back piercing that she wanted to get and I disapproved cause at the time i genuinely thought she was joking. She says i made her feel like she couldnt feel comfortable enough to say her emotions to me, but i always regularly checked in. I think i should wait before i contact her again cause she says she still likes me but she feels like its these things that arent working for her. Should i still try ?
The biggest lie a cheater can do is “I still like/ love you.” They will say “I love you” and cheat you. She will get sexual pleasure from someone else and you will give her emotional support. How tf can you be with someone who will use you for some shhittty pleasure of her? If you have no self respect and you can tolerate her seeing having sex in the street with bunch of boys in front of your eyes, then you are free to go and get back with her. She will cheat you constantly whether emotionally or physically. Even she will cheat you in her imagination. So take her back at your own risk. ⚠️
I just want her back… i cant do this thing without her.Â
You can, the problem is that you are going through a phase that we all have been through, which is the phase where you have accept that you “had put all your eggs in one basket” on this girl or another way of putting it, is that you “placed all your bets on this girl being the one and you lost your bet”. Just like someone who actually lost all their money on a bad bet, you feel defeated and lost and like everything is over, but what you are feeling is just “emotional rock bottom”, but find comfort in knowing that there are people who have been in your exact position or even worse and they have managed to bounce back and learn from the experience and became better as a result. One thing aside from everything said that will offer you momentary help, but don’t cling onto it, is that the world is constantly changing and you never know what might happen, maybe this time apart giver her time to reflect and change as well as for you and you never know what might happen down the road, but just work on yourself.
Yes you can. She’s a shit person who couldn’t keep herself together at a festival and messed around with a stranger. She’s feeling the vacation high right now and I think you should leave her b. And I’m only seeing this post to come to reddit about my own new fling going ghost since night 3 at a damn Music festival this weekend. He’s not been the same since and we’ve already been talking about meeting families and a future. Derailed by drunkeness. He hasn’t admitted to anything yet, I just saw it coming in his behavior. These people aren’t marrying material. Let them go and grow. Show people you are serious and demand respect!
Eventually, you’ll look back and seriously cringe at the words you wrote at this time in your life 💯 You just gotta be strong and disciplined enough to get there.