I’ve seen something I think might be rule-breaking, what should I do?
**Report it!** We may not agree with your assessment of a certain post or comment but we will always take a look. Please make reports that are **unambiguous**, **succinct**, and (importantly) **accurate**. If your issue isn't covered by one of the numerous predefined reasons and or you need to expand upon a predefined reason then please use the 'Custom response' option (in addition if required).
**Don't feed the trolls, ignore, report, move on.** See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/honesttransgender/comments/guc56i/welcome_to_rhonesttransgender_please_read_for/) for more details about our subreddit. Thanks!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/honesttransgender) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Pride to me is more about letting people know that we are here and we have a right to exist. It's a good way to meet other people going through similar and relatable experiences. And for me at least, I might not be proud, but I'm not ashamed.
Pride to me is like saying "you can't make us ashamed of existing because you don't like or understand us"
I’m proud because I deal with all of that, and I’m still going.
I don’t see any reason to be proud of the simple fact of being trans. It would be like being proud of being tall or blonde. I didn’t do anything to be trans, and in fact am trans despite doing a lot to try not to be.
I’m proud of having my family, my career, my community, and my health *despite* being trans. I’m proud that I have the strength and courage to thrive in a world that is singling us out for abuse. And pride is a very useful tool to fight against the shame that is constantly thrown our way and often internalized.
I'm proud of myself for transitioning because I was on the edge of suicide and didn't wanna do that to my family
I'm proud I've given the world myself rather than taking myself away from them and especially my family
I'm proud for not giving up on myself when others would and DO and I'm proud of everyone else who is going through their own similar struggles
If none of that makes you proud of yourself then I don't know what will
These trans Reddit groups are such downers. All you guys do is project your insecurities and self hatred. I understand being transgender is difficult but babe learn to love yourself, learn to love life. You made it this far you accomplished something. You all need to stop being so negative. Trans people are PROUD they’ve overcome hardships and PROUD they have the courage to live their lives despite the restrictions.
Every reason you listed is exactly why people are proud to be trans. Being able to overcome adversity and live life as your true self In a world that doesn't want you to exist is definitely worth having pride over. I'm proud of embracing myself to the fullest extent and not letting being trans hold me back from doing the things that I love.
People are simply proud of how they deal with life and overcome obstacles. It’s not really that hard to understand. Being trans isn’t always easy- it takes a strong person to stay true to themselves regardless of consequences.
I feel like you might be misinterpreted other types of pride too then. Often being proud of your country isn't being glad it's good, but appreciating its history, appreciating the hard work that went into getting it where it is, and being willing to stand up for it and make it better.
Likewise trans pride is an appreciation of trans history, a refusal to feel ashamed despite society saying you should be, it's wanting to stand up for and better the lives of trans people.
If you won a race you feel more pride if it was difficult, you don't feel pride at having won something without effort. You should feel proud that you're overcoming these obstacles, and feel proud of all those before you who faced even harder challenges to improve being trans to where it is now.
I think you're right, being trans is really difficult, but it's also beautiful, there are some amazing moments I've personally experienced. But I've had to fight to be me and that's why I'm proud. I'm proud of myself for making it through and finally being myself
to me trans pride is celebrating that we can be free (somewhat) where we are and a movement to keep fighting for our equal rights. Marsha P and Sylvia Rivera fought their whole lives to pave the way for people in the next generation yk? Why stop there? Im not proud to be trans because it's fun, im proud to be trans because its difficult and I always have the option to detransition and go back into the closet, but every day I wake up and choose to be openly trans.
Being gay is difficult in many ways as well. It is almost universally harder to be gay than to be straight. Does gay pride not make sense to you either?
I actually don't care about anyone wanting to have pride in being trans, whatever someone wants to identify with or be proud about, I couldn't care.
However to play devil's advocate, I will say theres a big difference between trans and gay pride. Gay people, to be able to be themselves and live their best life, have to be open to the world, people will know they exist just by being in public with the people they love. Trans people though, to live their best life and be happy, would generally prefer to have never been trans, or at least never have anyone know they are.
Theres a pretty substantial disconnect between a medical condition that causes you problems, and just part of your identity you shouldn't have to hide. Again though, devil's advocate aside I know there are trans people who want to take pride and to show people, and I can accept they feel that way, even if I don't.
I think your perspective here is looking at things in the worst possible light.
Being trans is living my best life and being happy. I assume that's the case for other trans people as well, because the alternative is remaining closeted, which is obviously more miserable or else no one would ever come out as trans.
If I never transitioned, I would be living my life as a depressed dysphoric cis person. Choosing to live as your authentic self is something to be proud of, not despite of the fact that it can be painful and difficult, but *because* of that struggle.
I kind of see it the opposite way when it comes to being gay and being trans. You generally can't tell someone's sexual orientation from how they look, unless they make a point of wearing it on their sleeve; it only becomes apparent in the context of other people (in this case, romantic partners). A trans person, however, will likely go through a non-passing phase (unless they decide, for whatever reason, to stay in the closet their entire life), at which point they can't help but be in people's faces about it.
For this reason I find it important that trans people are included in pride. I don't personally feel *proud* of the fact that I'm trans - it's not an accomplishment in any way, just like being gay isn't - but while I'd very much prefer to have been born cis and not have to deal with all this hassle and inconvenience, these are the cards I was dealt, and I will never apologise for existing. That is the point; the right to be as you are.
I just see it as refusing to be ashamed of something that I can't change about myself. Maybe not proud of being trans in itself but more proud of living as my true self regardless of what I was conditioned to believe
Trans (LGB+) pride isnt about our existence just being so awesome we're proud and definitely so super happy about it at all or any time. It's about renouncing our oppression over who we are. Being trans might suck, but we dont deserve murder abuse and hatred for being ourselves, and it wasnt that long ago that that was the vast VAST majority opinion of what should happen to us. The phrase "Pride is a Protest,' might seem overdone and cringey *now,* but it was true then and it is still true now. I grew up in the late 80s and 90s, and seeing how queer people had it in the 60s and 70s (much less before then!) really makes me appreciate that I even had what little voice I did as a teen.
I don't really attend pride events, but here is my understanding of pride:
Sure, your sexual orientation or gender identity isn't something to take pride of, as you were just born like this. But for a long time, people have been shitting on non cis-straight people and view us as subhumans. Pride is more like a shout-out to them: Hey, fuckers, you see us as subhumans but we're proud and living here!
[LGBT pride ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_pride) (also known as gay pride or simply pride) is the promotion of the self-affirmation, dignity, equality, and increased visibility of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people as a social group. Pride, as opposed to shame and social stigma, is the predominant outlook that bolsters most LGBT rights movements.
I don't get it either. I suffer from extreme dysphoria, I've got cPTSD from said dysphoria, I'm missing a lot of my memories because I was so dissociated before I realized I was trans, I never got a boyhood like other guys, I have to have MULTIPLE surgeries to have the same body other men have (at this point in time, it looks like it'll be 7 surgeries at minimum if I'm lucky and don't have any complications at this time), There's a real possibility I might get damage in my leg from phalloplasty (can't and won't use arms because of nerve damage + stealth), I'll never get naturally erect or ejaculate, I'll always have a "secret" that I have to worry about so that I can just live my life as a normal guy, I'll probably never have sex again (grey-ace fiance, and even if we opened the relationship, I never learned how to hook up, and I don't even know if after all my surgeries, I'd be a satisfactory partner for anyone, nor would I be able to stop worrying about being clocked), and let's not forget the fact that if it ever got out that I'm trans, I'd be a damn petting zoo, even from allies. I'd also have a giant target on my back. I mean I still do, what with politics nowadays. And testosterone is a controlled substance, so if shit hits the fan, well, guess I'll get osteoporosis!
Yeah I'm not proud of any of that. I'm not even "proud of myself for surviving". I'm only doing this because I don't want to hurt my loved ones. I'm proud of my fiance for graduating with his masters and getting a career in his chosen field right away. I'm proud of my dog for learning so many tricks. Why would I be proud of myself for getting medical care for a debilitating chronic medical condition?
I wouldn’t say I wear my trans pride on my sleeve or even that I would ever be seen in a public way as trans, but I am proud of being trans. Of having succeeded at all those things you listed and more. Of not self deleting bit instead making a new, better life. It was the work of a lifetime and it is something to be proud of.
I spent years hating myself and being ashamed of my transitioned body. Feeling like I didn’t belong and didn’t deserve happiness. But eventually I realized I was passing just fine and there wasn’t anything gross about my body. I trusted people and found acceptance. It wasn’t easy learning to love myself and to stop being full of self-criticism.
I think we all need to be more accepting of ourselves and celebrate our own wins more.
If people put even a minute amount of the effort that we put into being our true selves, into being better people, the world would be a much better place. Be proud. The effort we put in inspires people, and deserves respect, even if most people are too afraid to admit it.
I know you're trying to be uplifting, but we shouldn't be touted as some inspirational thing just because we're trying to survive. I see this a lot in disabled circles. It's called Inspiration Porn. "You're so brave and inspirational! If you can do it, anyone can!". It just treats the person as a tool for others to be inspired and dehumanizes them.
Just remember that the antonym of this kind of pride isn’t humility, but shame.
You should feel no more shame for being trans than any other aspect of your appearance. You are only changing your appearance to fit in better.
Pride is the opposite of shame, and Lord knows I was shamed for it growing up.
Trans pride is an opportunity for me to tell the world I'm no longer hiding who I am, I'm no longer ashamed, in fact I love being me.
being able to face such great challenges and stay alive is something to be proud of. trans people also gain more insight into gender and society’s view on it than cis people ever could.
your arguments also don’t all apply to all trans people. not everyone wants surgeries, not everyone wants kids, some people still have kids, etc.
The way I’ve learned to see it is that “trans pride” is just being proud that you’ve taken steps to change your life and do what makes you happy despite people saying you shouldn’t or that you’re wrong or ill or whatnot.
That being said I was never a fan of pride month because I don’t think it’s taken seriously and has turned into more of a “fun” thing where people dress and act crazy. It doesn’t seem an accurate representation of what it should be nowadays.
what would you prefer pride month be? mourning the loss of people due to hate crimes? history lessons? because i see plenty of that as well, but im also glad and think it’s important to show positives of being queer.
No, I just don’t think its original meaning is portrayed and represented as significantly as it should be. Most people associated pride month with rainbows and parades and people having parties, not fighting oppression and bigotry. I simply think it should be taken a bit more seriously is all.
I take pride in being trans because, despite the negatives, it's pretty brave. We take a lot of shit to just get back up and go in for a second round. Not many people have the courage to be themselves.
I don’t feel any sort of pride relating to being trans, but I can get why others are. I think pride in being trans really means being proud of yourself *despite* all the downsides of being trans. To me, it makes more sense than being proud of the country you’re from.
Real. I see it as just a roadblock I need to get through. I wouldn't find pride in my GAD and MDD because I wasn't born typical, and I don't find pride in my resilience towards it. Being trans is nothing more than a trait to me like having brown hair or even something like PCOS.
The point isn’t that they’re exactly happy to be trans, the point is that they can’t be cis so they might as well find joy in their identity. It’s a way to help trans people who absolutely hate being trans. People say they’re proud to be gay or autistic too, because they are forced to be gay or autistic.
Hey. For the record clothes of the rack don’t fit 90% or women.
Find a good seamstress they can take a meh garment to fab for $20.
And it’s being proud that we stand proud and tall, that we survive against the odds.
Yeah imma be real it's hard to find any pride in it for me either the negatives are just so many and feel like they're just increasing in our current climate
I’ve seen something I think might be rule-breaking, what should I do? **Report it!** We may not agree with your assessment of a certain post or comment but we will always take a look. Please make reports that are **unambiguous**, **succinct**, and (importantly) **accurate**. If your issue isn't covered by one of the numerous predefined reasons and or you need to expand upon a predefined reason then please use the 'Custom response' option (in addition if required). **Don't feed the trolls, ignore, report, move on.** See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/honesttransgender/comments/guc56i/welcome_to_rhonesttransgender_please_read_for/) for more details about our subreddit. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/honesttransgender) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This has been discussed ad nauseam I encourage you to search the sub for "trans pride" to find previous opinions.
The concept of trans pride is not a superficial pride of one's identity but an uprising against cishetnormative violence.
Pride to me is more about letting people know that we are here and we have a right to exist. It's a good way to meet other people going through similar and relatable experiences. And for me at least, I might not be proud, but I'm not ashamed. Pride to me is like saying "you can't make us ashamed of existing because you don't like or understand us"
I’m proud because I deal with all of that, and I’m still going. I don’t see any reason to be proud of the simple fact of being trans. It would be like being proud of being tall or blonde. I didn’t do anything to be trans, and in fact am trans despite doing a lot to try not to be. I’m proud of having my family, my career, my community, and my health *despite* being trans. I’m proud that I have the strength and courage to thrive in a world that is singling us out for abuse. And pride is a very useful tool to fight against the shame that is constantly thrown our way and often internalized.
I'm proud of myself for transitioning because I was on the edge of suicide and didn't wanna do that to my family I'm proud I've given the world myself rather than taking myself away from them and especially my family I'm proud for not giving up on myself when others would and DO and I'm proud of everyone else who is going through their own similar struggles If none of that makes you proud of yourself then I don't know what will
These trans Reddit groups are such downers. All you guys do is project your insecurities and self hatred. I understand being transgender is difficult but babe learn to love yourself, learn to love life. You made it this far you accomplished something. You all need to stop being so negative. Trans people are PROUD they’ve overcome hardships and PROUD they have the courage to live their lives despite the restrictions.
Because why should I hate myself in a world that hates me
Do you people ever think through anything
Every reason you listed is exactly why people are proud to be trans. Being able to overcome adversity and live life as your true self In a world that doesn't want you to exist is definitely worth having pride over. I'm proud of embracing myself to the fullest extent and not letting being trans hold me back from doing the things that I love.
maybe i think there's more to life than hating myself for things i can't change why do people keep making these posts how is it that confusing
People are simply proud of how they deal with life and overcome obstacles. It’s not really that hard to understand. Being trans isn’t always easy- it takes a strong person to stay true to themselves regardless of consequences.
I feel like you might be misinterpreted other types of pride too then. Often being proud of your country isn't being glad it's good, but appreciating its history, appreciating the hard work that went into getting it where it is, and being willing to stand up for it and make it better. Likewise trans pride is an appreciation of trans history, a refusal to feel ashamed despite society saying you should be, it's wanting to stand up for and better the lives of trans people. If you won a race you feel more pride if it was difficult, you don't feel pride at having won something without effort. You should feel proud that you're overcoming these obstacles, and feel proud of all those before you who faced even harder challenges to improve being trans to where it is now.
I think you're right, being trans is really difficult, but it's also beautiful, there are some amazing moments I've personally experienced. But I've had to fight to be me and that's why I'm proud. I'm proud of myself for making it through and finally being myself
to me trans pride is celebrating that we can be free (somewhat) where we are and a movement to keep fighting for our equal rights. Marsha P and Sylvia Rivera fought their whole lives to pave the way for people in the next generation yk? Why stop there? Im not proud to be trans because it's fun, im proud to be trans because its difficult and I always have the option to detransition and go back into the closet, but every day I wake up and choose to be openly trans.
Being gay is difficult in many ways as well. It is almost universally harder to be gay than to be straight. Does gay pride not make sense to you either?
I actually don't care about anyone wanting to have pride in being trans, whatever someone wants to identify with or be proud about, I couldn't care. However to play devil's advocate, I will say theres a big difference between trans and gay pride. Gay people, to be able to be themselves and live their best life, have to be open to the world, people will know they exist just by being in public with the people they love. Trans people though, to live their best life and be happy, would generally prefer to have never been trans, or at least never have anyone know they are. Theres a pretty substantial disconnect between a medical condition that causes you problems, and just part of your identity you shouldn't have to hide. Again though, devil's advocate aside I know there are trans people who want to take pride and to show people, and I can accept they feel that way, even if I don't.
I think your perspective here is looking at things in the worst possible light. Being trans is living my best life and being happy. I assume that's the case for other trans people as well, because the alternative is remaining closeted, which is obviously more miserable or else no one would ever come out as trans. If I never transitioned, I would be living my life as a depressed dysphoric cis person. Choosing to live as your authentic self is something to be proud of, not despite of the fact that it can be painful and difficult, but *because* of that struggle.
I kind of see it the opposite way when it comes to being gay and being trans. You generally can't tell someone's sexual orientation from how they look, unless they make a point of wearing it on their sleeve; it only becomes apparent in the context of other people (in this case, romantic partners). A trans person, however, will likely go through a non-passing phase (unless they decide, for whatever reason, to stay in the closet their entire life), at which point they can't help but be in people's faces about it. For this reason I find it important that trans people are included in pride. I don't personally feel *proud* of the fact that I'm trans - it's not an accomplishment in any way, just like being gay isn't - but while I'd very much prefer to have been born cis and not have to deal with all this hassle and inconvenience, these are the cards I was dealt, and I will never apologise for existing. That is the point; the right to be as you are.
I just see it as refusing to be ashamed of something that I can't change about myself. Maybe not proud of being trans in itself but more proud of living as my true self regardless of what I was conditioned to believe
Trans (LGB+) pride isnt about our existence just being so awesome we're proud and definitely so super happy about it at all or any time. It's about renouncing our oppression over who we are. Being trans might suck, but we dont deserve murder abuse and hatred for being ourselves, and it wasnt that long ago that that was the vast VAST majority opinion of what should happen to us. The phrase "Pride is a Protest,' might seem overdone and cringey *now,* but it was true then and it is still true now. I grew up in the late 80s and 90s, and seeing how queer people had it in the 60s and 70s (much less before then!) really makes me appreciate that I even had what little voice I did as a teen.
I'd argue that "pride is a protest" is more relevant now than it has been in some time.
100% agree
I don't really attend pride events, but here is my understanding of pride: Sure, your sexual orientation or gender identity isn't something to take pride of, as you were just born like this. But for a long time, people have been shitting on non cis-straight people and view us as subhumans. Pride is more like a shout-out to them: Hey, fuckers, you see us as subhumans but we're proud and living here!
[LGBT pride ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_pride) (also known as gay pride or simply pride) is the promotion of the self-affirmation, dignity, equality, and increased visibility of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people as a social group. Pride, as opposed to shame and social stigma, is the predominant outlook that bolsters most LGBT rights movements.
I don't get it either. I suffer from extreme dysphoria, I've got cPTSD from said dysphoria, I'm missing a lot of my memories because I was so dissociated before I realized I was trans, I never got a boyhood like other guys, I have to have MULTIPLE surgeries to have the same body other men have (at this point in time, it looks like it'll be 7 surgeries at minimum if I'm lucky and don't have any complications at this time), There's a real possibility I might get damage in my leg from phalloplasty (can't and won't use arms because of nerve damage + stealth), I'll never get naturally erect or ejaculate, I'll always have a "secret" that I have to worry about so that I can just live my life as a normal guy, I'll probably never have sex again (grey-ace fiance, and even if we opened the relationship, I never learned how to hook up, and I don't even know if after all my surgeries, I'd be a satisfactory partner for anyone, nor would I be able to stop worrying about being clocked), and let's not forget the fact that if it ever got out that I'm trans, I'd be a damn petting zoo, even from allies. I'd also have a giant target on my back. I mean I still do, what with politics nowadays. And testosterone is a controlled substance, so if shit hits the fan, well, guess I'll get osteoporosis! Yeah I'm not proud of any of that. I'm not even "proud of myself for surviving". I'm only doing this because I don't want to hurt my loved ones. I'm proud of my fiance for graduating with his masters and getting a career in his chosen field right away. I'm proud of my dog for learning so many tricks. Why would I be proud of myself for getting medical care for a debilitating chronic medical condition?
I wouldn’t say I wear my trans pride on my sleeve or even that I would ever be seen in a public way as trans, but I am proud of being trans. Of having succeeded at all those things you listed and more. Of not self deleting bit instead making a new, better life. It was the work of a lifetime and it is something to be proud of. I spent years hating myself and being ashamed of my transitioned body. Feeling like I didn’t belong and didn’t deserve happiness. But eventually I realized I was passing just fine and there wasn’t anything gross about my body. I trusted people and found acceptance. It wasn’t easy learning to love myself and to stop being full of self-criticism. I think we all need to be more accepting of ourselves and celebrate our own wins more.
If people put even a minute amount of the effort that we put into being our true selves, into being better people, the world would be a much better place. Be proud. The effort we put in inspires people, and deserves respect, even if most people are too afraid to admit it.
I know you're trying to be uplifting, but we shouldn't be touted as some inspirational thing just because we're trying to survive. I see this a lot in disabled circles. It's called Inspiration Porn. "You're so brave and inspirational! If you can do it, anyone can!". It just treats the person as a tool for others to be inspired and dehumanizes them.
That is probably the worst possible way to perceive what I wrote but okay.
Just remember that the antonym of this kind of pride isn’t humility, but shame. You should feel no more shame for being trans than any other aspect of your appearance. You are only changing your appearance to fit in better.
Pride is the opposite of shame, and Lord knows I was shamed for it growing up. Trans pride is an opportunity for me to tell the world I'm no longer hiding who I am, I'm no longer ashamed, in fact I love being me.
being able to face such great challenges and stay alive is something to be proud of. trans people also gain more insight into gender and society’s view on it than cis people ever could. your arguments also don’t all apply to all trans people. not everyone wants surgeries, not everyone wants kids, some people still have kids, etc.
The way I’ve learned to see it is that “trans pride” is just being proud that you’ve taken steps to change your life and do what makes you happy despite people saying you shouldn’t or that you’re wrong or ill or whatnot. That being said I was never a fan of pride month because I don’t think it’s taken seriously and has turned into more of a “fun” thing where people dress and act crazy. It doesn’t seem an accurate representation of what it should be nowadays.
what would you prefer pride month be? mourning the loss of people due to hate crimes? history lessons? because i see plenty of that as well, but im also glad and think it’s important to show positives of being queer.
No, I just don’t think its original meaning is portrayed and represented as significantly as it should be. Most people associated pride month with rainbows and parades and people having parties, not fighting oppression and bigotry. I simply think it should be taken a bit more seriously is all.
I take pride in being trans because, despite the negatives, it's pretty brave. We take a lot of shit to just get back up and go in for a second round. Not many people have the courage to be themselves.
I don’t feel any sort of pride relating to being trans, but I can get why others are. I think pride in being trans really means being proud of yourself *despite* all the downsides of being trans. To me, it makes more sense than being proud of the country you’re from.
Real. I see it as just a roadblock I need to get through. I wouldn't find pride in my GAD and MDD because I wasn't born typical, and I don't find pride in my resilience towards it. Being trans is nothing more than a trait to me like having brown hair or even something like PCOS.
I think it's a resilience to keep going in spite of a world that largely hates us thing
The point isn’t that they’re exactly happy to be trans, the point is that they can’t be cis so they might as well find joy in their identity. It’s a way to help trans people who absolutely hate being trans. People say they’re proud to be gay or autistic too, because they are forced to be gay or autistic.
Hey. For the record clothes of the rack don’t fit 90% or women. Find a good seamstress they can take a meh garment to fab for $20. And it’s being proud that we stand proud and tall, that we survive against the odds.
Yeah imma be real it's hard to find any pride in it for me either the negatives are just so many and feel like they're just increasing in our current climate
💀 you can downvote me all you want but I still don't see any reason to find pride in being trans. It is a curse that hangs over me and everything I do