"You know how you throw your jacket on a chair at the end of the day? Well, like that - only, instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time and garbage IS ALL THAT HAS SURVIVED!"
Oh, my, you know what, I think you're right! I think - you know what? Listen, listen: a pigeon... no, no, wait, an eagle flew in, landed on the stove, and caught fire! The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird's aid! The eagle, however, misconstrues this as an act of aggression and grabs the baby in its talons! Meanwhile, the faucet fills the apartment with water! Baby and bird, still ablaze, are locked in a death-grip, swirling around the whirlpool that fills the apartment!
ah love! L-O-V-E. love. L is for life coz what is life without love. O is for…oh wow! the V is for this very surprising turn of events which i am still fine with by the way. EEE is for how extremely normal I find it
The way his laugh changes after he says it and realises it didn't land well atall. 🤣 Excellently done by David. I love how well he portrays the awkward Ross moments.
“Oh my god, you know what, yeah, I think you're right. I think... listen, listen! A, a pigeon. No, no wait, no-no, an eagle flew in. Landed on the stove and caught fire. The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird's aid. The eagle, however, misconstrues this as an act of aggression and grabs the baby in its talons. Meanwhile the faucet fills the apartment with water. Baby and bird, still ablaze, are locked in a death grip, swirling around the whirl pool that fills the apartment!”
“Boy, are you gonna be sorry if that's true.”
"and I'm responsible for just half that" or "No, no, no. The next time it's gonna be a Hawaii at sunset. But maybe the time after that! "
When Ross had learned to make fun of himself.
While the show was on, I hated Ross.
He’s become my favorite character and David is the best actor of all of them. His line delivery and physical comedy is OUTSTANDING
Same. Remember hating him as a pre-teen when the show was on. But loving him when I rewatched as an adult because Ross makes me laugh the most!
Even reading all these lines here are already making me laugh because I can hear his voice delivering them. 😆
None of the sane ones wanted to go home with me!
I will think about therapy.
You ate my sandwich?!
No more falafel for you!
Joey, some people don’t like that.
"This couch is cut IN HALF. I would like to exchange it for one that is NOT CUT IN HALF."
I'll give you store credit in the amount of four dollars.
I will take it.
Now this might be my favorite line from a one-off character.
^(“…………they’re not coming on man.”)
This is my favorite Ross moment I think it is so funny
Don’t you worry about me falling asleep, I still have your letter!
That line was brutal 😂
It was, but it still makes me laugh!
also he is kinda hot
Are we at a paleontology conference in Barbados right now?
"You know how you throw your jacket on a chair at the end of the day? Well, like that - only, instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time and garbage IS ALL THAT HAS SURVIVED!"
This one is great too.
I’m FINE!!!
I like, “ahh ahh, fine by me!”
“Why does anyone have to be naked?”
Dude what’cha have..
«I may as well have!» in relation to forgetting condom
>I'm indignant, as a consumer!
The part where he tells Joey they expire & Joey pulls out a bunch to check 😂😂😂
I hated Ross so much when I first watched the show, but I’m now realizing how funny David Schwimmer is. Super underrated
Yes, yes it is. IN PRISON.
Omg yes! This one is pure joy!
this is about joey’s tailor, right?
Came here for this. My favourite line of the whole series.
This is my Roman Empire, lives rent free in my head
YESSSS LOVE THIS ONE
Yea, well, hurricane Gloria didn't break the porch swing, Monica did!
His delivery on this is A+!
*MONNNICA DID!*
The way he moves his head makes it.
My flair!
Yeah you didn't get one.
This one!! So perfect, both the line and the delivery!!
And the fact that he was not even looking at her! 🤣🤣🤣
My first thought!
“Two HAUHndred Dollars!” You’re doing it again.. “…Excuse me..”
I grew up in a house with Monica, OK. If you didn’t eat fast, you didn’t eat.
I think about this one a lot lmao
MY FAJITAS!!!!! 
I can hear this lol
The only thing weird would be if someone didn't like Mexican food because I'm making **_FAJITAS_**!!
This is the one I love
"Aruba? This time of year? Talk about your...big lizards."
MY SANDWICH?!?! Close second: “I call it the moistmaker”.
He wa 100% justified in his rage. Eff that dude who stole it and seemed surprised Ross was so mad about it.
And then that he was punished for getting pissed! Ahhhh I’d go Red Ross!
MISSISSIPPILESSLY?!
I definitely find myself saying this on occasion.
The only one who gets to enjoy these bad boys is me!
*looks so dejected* also this is the winner 😂😂😂
‘just three!? IM DILATED THREE’ will always be my favorite ! in the episode where rachel gives birth
Omg I’m actually dying with laughter rn🤣😁😁
GET OFF MY SISTER!!!
"Not A key, I gave her the ONLY key! I am now a homeless person in a VERY SERIOUS relationship!!"
Let’s do the card!!!!!!!!!!!!
To sum up: we're having fun; you look young.
I tell you, when I actually die, some people are going to get seriously haunted!
YEAH I'LL PRESS 1!
No idea how to type the first part. But "[FINE BY ME](https://youtu.be/1ngbyBudt7g?si=qRiKUIQjfm7gbP9D)".
"It tastes like feet!"
I like it!
The behind the scenes stuff on this scene killed me. [Matt Leblanc on Graham Norton](https://youtu.be/UYts8FugR1M?si=83XDVibi0oj0r4dF)
Another one that’s not the line itself, but the delivery.
"Oh! Oh-oh, the band's ready! Well, I-I-we gotta do what the band says-I don't care about the stupid band!!" Best delivery ever
So many of his lines were made 10x better by his delivery. "Can't a guy send a barbershop quartet to his girlfriend's office anymoooore??"
Absolutely true. "Very funny, Ross is gay, ha ha."
You spit on me, man!
The outtake when Jennifer can't hold it together when he says this line is especially hilarious.
Came here for this!!
I love this!!
I mentioned this one, I love it - makes me laugh outloud every time.
Pivot!
Omg please no. Not this. Am I the only one who hates this???
Wouldn't say I hate it, it's a decent bit but I find it nowhere near as funny as some people
this is it!!!
I think it’s gotta be this
“I haven’t had sex in a very very long time.”
A no sex pact? I've got one those going on with every women in america
Yeah you really shouldn’t have said anything.
FRONT AND BACK!!!!
You know that smell gas has?
This!!! I just laugh every time I remember that conversation 😁
One of my favorite scenes ever! That and, "that was flirting? omg"...the look on her face. Lol!
Just to be clear… I do NOT like 5 year old boys
Ross… What else do they add smell to?
"I'm not mad. I'm in-DIG-nant. As a CONSUMER!!"
I still use this for products I am annoyed buying 😂
Oh, my, you know what, I think you're right! I think - you know what? Listen, listen: a pigeon... no, no, wait, an eagle flew in, landed on the stove, and caught fire! The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird's aid! The eagle, however, misconstrues this as an act of aggression and grabs the baby in its talons! Meanwhile, the faucet fills the apartment with water! Baby and bird, still ablaze, are locked in a death-grip, swirling around the whirlpool that fills the apartment!
You're gonna be so sorry if that's true.
That’s the one-liner in this scene!
"Holy Moly we are in a pickle now!"
Its the greatest ross moment but its hardly a oneliner
My bad. Apparently I was struggling with reading comprehension this morning 🙃
Still and all, this story is magnificent!!
Ohhhh I just love this one, so funny. And you see how he’s meant for Rachel cause she doesn’t get upset she just answers in the same vibe 😂🥰
The one on my mind: it tastes like feet
I like it!
I, Ross, take thee Rachel...
I remember when it aired freaking out! Sadly not able to rewind and watch again 50 times I like I do now to scenes lol.
Definitely his worst one-liner in universe
It could have been worse. He could have SHOT her.
‘It’s kinda disgraceful that a group of well educated adults *and Joey*, can’t name all the states’.
Eh, Magellan...
It so does NOT!
My bestfriend and my sister
With which delivery? haha
Vulva
They're not coming on man, and the lotion and power have made a *paaaaste*
“You slept with another woman.” “Oh, y– you’re one to talk…”
y y y y you threw my sandwich away? MY sandwich?
Joey: “Who would you rather sleep with, Monica or Rachel?” Ross: “Dude you are sick!”
I'm sorry. I forgot you had that whole "Rachel" thing.
ah love! L-O-V-E. love. L is for life coz what is life without love. O is for…oh wow! the V is for this very surprising turn of events which i am still fine with by the way. EEE is for how extremely normal I find it
Sweetie this conversation is starting to make me a little uncomfortable..
“What a weird way to kick me when I’m down.”
Oh Dr Geller, stop it! you're being silly!
EEEEEE!
Hey Rach, remember that whole "we were on a break" thing? Well, I'm sorry, will you marry me?
The way his laugh changes after he says it and realises it didn't land well atall. 🤣 Excellently done by David. I love how well he portrays the awkward Ross moments.
Right, David is a comedic genius!!
Truly. Really appreciating his work this watch round. ☺️
Actually , this isn’t really a great time for me 👉🏻👈🏻
“MY SANDWICH?!”
MYYYY SANDWICHHH?!?!!?
🕊️🕊️🕊️
I am like Indiana Jones
Yeah, you didn’t get one…
Every day is lesbian lover day!
I went to that place your WIFE suggested.
Was that place **_the Sun_**?!
You know what’s not one of a kind? A TWIN!
I'm watching this exact episode right now 😅
So was I 😅
Ross: wow this ring is beautiful Rachel: well you would know, you've bought like a billion of them Ross: yeah, you didn't get one though
Oh wow!
Pivot! pivot! pivot
Well they should put it in HUGE BLOCK LETTERS!!
SO DO WE, SO DO WE!!!
"am i? AM I???"
Did you count Mississippily?
"Oh don't you worry about me falling asleep, I still have your letter!"
Space *is* filled with orbiting children!
“They offered me a pill. And I took it.”
All of my faves were mentioned already - but this one makes me lol every rewatch: “Hurricane Gloria didn’t break the porch swing - Monica did!”
“When did he? When did he? When did he?”
 Or 18 Pages Front and Back
“This is not good for my rage” or whatever the exact words were
“Oh my god, you know what, yeah, I think you're right. I think... listen, listen! A, a pigeon. No, no wait, no-no, an eagle flew in. Landed on the stove and caught fire. The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird's aid. The eagle, however, misconstrues this as an act of aggression and grabs the baby in its talons. Meanwhile the faucet fills the apartment with water. Baby and bird, still ablaze, are locked in a death grip, swirling around the whirl pool that fills the apartment!” “Boy, are you gonna be sorry if that's true.”
My favorite is "I'm indignant, as a consumer!"
“I haven’t had sex in a very very long time.”
PIVOT- because it is iconic and so many of us use it ! 😂😂
I'm indignant, as a consumer!
"and I'm responsible for just half that" or "No, no, no. The next time it's gonna be a Hawaii at sunset. But maybe the time after that! " When Ross had learned to make fun of himself.
Ross: Why does anyone have to be naked?
A loser you did it with 298 times!
Reading this just inspired a rewatch. Every comment I see I think is my favorite. I had no idea how much Ross carried the series until this post.
Myyyyyyy saaaaaaaandwitch????!!!
MY FAJITAS!!!!
Hurricane Gloria didn’t break the porch swing Monica did!
For me it's either the depressed "hiiii...." and "Can't a guy send a barbershop quartet to his girlfriend's office anymoooore?"
Technically, HIS best one liner doesn’t work well for this, since it’s a response to someone else “Yeah, you didn’t get one”.
The lotion and powder have made a paste!
My sandwich!
Myyyyyy sandwich?!
Ugh I love Ross so much. Come for me.
While the show was on, I hated Ross. He’s become my favorite character and David is the best actor of all of them. His line delivery and physical comedy is OUTSTANDING
Same. Remember hating him as a pre-teen when the show was on. But loving him when I rewatched as an adult because Ross makes me laugh the most! Even reading all these lines here are already making me laugh because I can hear his voice delivering them. 😆
"We were on a break"
It was salmon!
None of the sane ones wanted to go home with me! I will think about therapy. You ate my sandwich?! No more falafel for you! Joey, some people don’t like that.
"Oh, oh, we've got to do what the band says. I don't care about the stupid band!"
"You spit on me, man!"
MY FAJITAS!!!
A verbal contract is binding in the state of New York!
You you you you threw my sandwich away. MY SANDWICH? MYYYY SANDWICH!!??
EEEEEE...
PIVOT!!!
"Unagi is a total state of awareness"
Did you tell them about the night of five times?
Unagi
I am like Indiana Jones.
“What about me? I’M A MEDICAL MARVEL!”
“The eyes did still sparkle.” Is my all-time favorite.
It's a tie between PIVOT!! or "We were on a break!!!" Wherever you hear this you'll hear it in Ross's voice.
MY SANDWICH!!!!!!
Well, Hurricane Gloria didn’t break the porch swing dad, Monica did!
Pivot
"Don't tell me men are nice, THIS IS MEN!!!"
The only person who's going to enjoy these bad boys (shows hands) is me
Yeah - I am like Indiana Jones.