Honestly I get into the mindset of “the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few”. Yeah a guy getting fired sucks, but so does him harassing everyone on his team
I see this mistake a lot: You have to change your perspective when you're in HR or when you move into management. You aren't peers with the rest of the office any more, you're privy to private information, you have to deliver bad news, and you're generally part of management. If you try to be friends with everyone in the office, you're going to get burned because every time you deliver bad news, it's a betrayal of the persona you've tried to put on for them as a "friend". Friends don't do that.
If your job includes delivering bad news, firing people, etc, you have to accept the fact that some people won't like you. Be honest about what your job is and what you can and can't do. The only way to maintain good relationships is through transparency. I might have to fire someone you like, I might have to tell you benefits are getting reduced, I might have to investigate you over allegations you behaved inappropriately, I might have to write you up for not meeting your boss' expectations.
You're not going to be in the group chat, but if you treat people with respect and are transparent about your job, they can do the same.
My HR motto: friendly with everyone, friends with no one. I make objective decisions based on facts and policy, never personal. I tell employees all the time, it doesn’t matter if I like you or don’t, the outcome is the same - which is 100% true. I’m more about compliance. I have no skin in this game, the rules are created by someone else, I happen to be an enforcer, though.
It’s not personal. I make decisions based on company policy, federal or state law. I don’t do so based on personal preferences and I let people know that. When I was face to face with employees they also knew I went to bat for them and made sure they got their fair shake.
My coworker says “We didn’t fire/ punish them, they did it to themselves.” “It’s nothing personal, it’s just business.” is another saying thrown around our office. We really try to give ample chances to correct behavior but sometimes it doesn’t work.
Be the one that gives super clear information as to why the bad news is necessary. People usually want to know why they're being impacted and whether they have alternatives. Beyond that, just be a human being. Everything else is out of your control.
I find really authentic and loving connection with people outside of work. I have good self care processes. I remind myself that I can only control the controllables. I find good companies to work with who support me in my role.
And… I try to subvert shitty business practices as best I can and advocate for employees. Even if the employees don’t know that I am, I can shoulder their dislike and distain because behind the scenes, I am working for them and doing my damndest.
Also, my other favorite professional motto: I don’t mind being the bad guy, I wear the horns well…. Because it’s my job to be comfortable in the situations that make everyone else uncomfortable….
“Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind” - Brene Brown
I’ve used that quote in nearly every hard conversation I’ve had… it may not always make it easier, but it is factual. Clearly defining expectations is kind… clearly addressing an issue with someone, even if challenging, is kind. Watching the person suffer from the outside is not kind.
You go into this profession to help people, the better you are at this job, the more you are going to step on toes. I joke with my manager all the time that I'm doing my job well if I upset someone.
HR is this weird limbo where you are in a management position, but you interact with all levels. It's really hard not to notice when someone is upset with you, and no one likes it when people dislike you. I don't care who you are!
Everything comes in waves though. Employees have very short attention spans and will forget how you upset them pretty quickly. Just make sure you are there when they need you and you have a very wide open-door policy. I know I make sure to walk my facility a few times a week just to chat with employees.
Hope things get easier for you!
Honestly I get into the mindset of “the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few”. Yeah a guy getting fired sucks, but so does him harassing everyone on his team
I see this mistake a lot: You have to change your perspective when you're in HR or when you move into management. You aren't peers with the rest of the office any more, you're privy to private information, you have to deliver bad news, and you're generally part of management. If you try to be friends with everyone in the office, you're going to get burned because every time you deliver bad news, it's a betrayal of the persona you've tried to put on for them as a "friend". Friends don't do that. If your job includes delivering bad news, firing people, etc, you have to accept the fact that some people won't like you. Be honest about what your job is and what you can and can't do. The only way to maintain good relationships is through transparency. I might have to fire someone you like, I might have to tell you benefits are getting reduced, I might have to investigate you over allegations you behaved inappropriately, I might have to write you up for not meeting your boss' expectations. You're not going to be in the group chat, but if you treat people with respect and are transparent about your job, they can do the same.
Yepppp this
Yeah. I learned this the hard way…
Well stated. This information is gold. Unfortunately, I learned this lesson the hard way.
My HR motto: friendly with everyone, friends with no one. I make objective decisions based on facts and policy, never personal. I tell employees all the time, it doesn’t matter if I like you or don’t, the outcome is the same - which is 100% true. I’m more about compliance. I have no skin in this game, the rules are created by someone else, I happen to be an enforcer, though.
It’s not personal. I make decisions based on company policy, federal or state law. I don’t do so based on personal preferences and I let people know that. When I was face to face with employees they also knew I went to bat for them and made sure they got their fair shake.
My coworker says “We didn’t fire/ punish them, they did it to themselves.” “It’s nothing personal, it’s just business.” is another saying thrown around our office. We really try to give ample chances to correct behavior but sometimes it doesn’t work.
100% agree, I never fire anyone, they fire themselves….
Be the one that gives super clear information as to why the bad news is necessary. People usually want to know why they're being impacted and whether they have alternatives. Beyond that, just be a human being. Everything else is out of your control.
I find really authentic and loving connection with people outside of work. I have good self care processes. I remind myself that I can only control the controllables. I find good companies to work with who support me in my role. And… I try to subvert shitty business practices as best I can and advocate for employees. Even if the employees don’t know that I am, I can shoulder their dislike and distain because behind the scenes, I am working for them and doing my damndest.
Also, my other favorite professional motto: I don’t mind being the bad guy, I wear the horns well…. Because it’s my job to be comfortable in the situations that make everyone else uncomfortable….
“Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind” - Brene Brown I’ve used that quote in nearly every hard conversation I’ve had… it may not always make it easier, but it is factual. Clearly defining expectations is kind… clearly addressing an issue with someone, even if challenging, is kind. Watching the person suffer from the outside is not kind.
You go into this profession to help people, the better you are at this job, the more you are going to step on toes. I joke with my manager all the time that I'm doing my job well if I upset someone. HR is this weird limbo where you are in a management position, but you interact with all levels. It's really hard not to notice when someone is upset with you, and no one likes it when people dislike you. I don't care who you are! Everything comes in waves though. Employees have very short attention spans and will forget how you upset them pretty quickly. Just make sure you are there when they need you and you have a very wide open-door policy. I know I make sure to walk my facility a few times a week just to chat with employees. Hope things get easier for you!