T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

In an attempt to reduce remind me spam, all top comments that include a remind me will be removed. If you would like to have a remind me, please reply to this comment. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/humansarespaceorcs) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Alcards

Totally depends on the human and the predator species. Is the predator fuzzy and deserve cuddles? Then something like 90% of humans will take one. Is it a living fossil from the time when their larger cousins roamed the world? Then sign up a good portion of those left because who doesn't love a gator? Then you have the Chads of the human race that will take pigs into their house. You have balls of steel if you trust a creature that could eat you as a single meal and leave only bones behind. We don't talk about the peeps that have snakes and spiders or other creepy crawlies as their pets. They're weird. No necessarily harmful to themselves of others...not even weirder than you or me. Just a different kind of weird.


Defiant-Row-5153

Note: Pigs eat bones too. Putting a corpse in a pig pen would dispose of it entierly within an hour.


Alcards

I've always heard they don't and teeth are left. Good to know. I prefer the chicken wire with rocks in a lake method...for stories and legal purposes.


Dasheek

They eat teeth, its just they can't digest it. So they end up being pooped out.


Dwarven-Overlord

Don't forget to disembowel to reduce bloating... theoretically, of course.


paradoxLacuna

Mhmm, poking a series of holes in the two cavities could work just fine though, as I imagine it’s like cutting vent holes into a pie crust before you bake it. Although if you want to go with fully opening the abdominal and thoracic cavities, may i suggest using the guts as fish bait? It works fairly well as most large fish are omnivores or carnivores, and you get to keep an eye out for any errant bits of corpse/snooping cops while you fish. That and fishing seems to be a relaxing activity from what I’ve heard.


Ashes-ashesfall

Except for the teeth


Defiant-Row-5153

Except for teeth yes. I forgot about that.


macnof

Nope, they eat them too. They just pass fairly undigested.


Majoranza

inb4 \*insert Brick Top’s monologue on body disposal\*


Sylar299

You’re always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. … And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it’s no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies’ digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don’t want to go sievin’ through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so **be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm.** They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, “as greedy as a pig”.


[deleted]

You'll want to remove the teeth, as if they do leave any it can be traced using dental data.


Fine-Blackberry-1793

*interesting*. . .


Eclipse134_

Thank you for this information. I will remember it. For educational purposes of course….


Defiant-Row-5153

Just remember to occasionally dump a bit of cola cola in the mud and pig shit so the teeth have no recognizable imprint or pattern and will most likely be unrecognized as teeth. It won’t hurt the pigs but it will dissolve a tooth fully in about 48 hours.


B_A_Beder

Snakes are adorable! Have you never seen a ball python or a hognose?


aDragonsAle

Hognose are such fucking drama queens...


TheAncientDragonRoku

But they be cute.


aDragonsAle

Oh, absolutely adorable. Calling them drama queens wasn't a negative. But the way they play dead is just Sooooo over the top it's comical.


TheAncientDragonRoku

Yeah. I honestly wish I had the ability to get one cuz they are so cute. But I can't currently get a hognose. Love watching videos bout em.


Same_Discussion6328

This guy's never been to r/snek


Even_Appointment_549

Nor at r/spiderbros


Aegishjalmur18

Or r/awwnverts


sneakpeekbot

Here's a sneak peek of /r/Snek using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/Snek/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [Cobra with a lil sweater (Poorly Drawn Lines, by Reza Farazmand)](https://i.redd.it/moic8myvols91.jpg) | [3 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Snek/comments/xyvmao/cobra_with_a_lil_sweater_poorly_drawn_lines_by/) \#2: [Lieutenant Dan You Got New Egg](https://i.redd.it/7paqdr8981491.jpg) | [5 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Snek/comments/v6883u/lieutenant_dan_you_got_new_egg/) \#3: [Don’t forget to tip!](https://i.redd.it/tvo388ov7u291.jpg) | [6 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Snek/comments/v1zwvg/dont_forget_to_tip/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)


ServantOfTheSlaad

Whether or not cooking Tyranids would actually make them safe is quite a risk. The human cooks anyway, for it does not care


Michaelbirks

If anyone can cook a 'nid safe, Sly Marbo's sister can.


Warlock1706

As Sly always says: #"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"


Michaelbirks

That almost sounds like their cousin, Fonz Marbo.


Warlock1706

Ahh, yes, I hear the resemblance. Interesting.


Last_Strawberry9904

“AAAAAAay.” _Cue finger guns_


Harriff

If you have the chice between suspicious Alien soup and litteral corpse mash, what would you pick?


Ratandroll2

Alien Soup, save can o' corpse for when i am not being offered hot food. One of the few things a guard man can enjoy in this universe is the small things like a hot meal or the sounds of the nids dying to auto bolter fire.


AlternativeSea8580

Don’t guardsmen it’s a cultists


themiddleman2

the cook is from catachan, probably not a cultist


zeturtleofweed

just your average Catachan


Darcress

A catachan, I'm out. Fuck this planet, if they are here I don't want to be.


Defiant-Row-5153

On many planets the game is Merry fuck kill. On some it is Merry fuck eat And on others still it is Eat fuck kill Indeed if you have a human presence on your world and live close by? You are indeed Fucked.


sergybrin

A1.....I hear a Humie will always fuck what it kllls A2.....Really? Weill I heard they kill whatever they fuck


Michaelbirks

I am not a merry man


Defiant-Row-5153

Worf? Like... A dock? Or a large dog barking?


frano1121

https://preview.redd.it/en0pkyc139ga1.jpeg?width=260&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=97c9413445c54124a57d2a40cdd9fbbd53093f30


Defiant-Row-5153

Oooooooh Shit i forgot this movie!


Forgotten_Bones

It's either 'be domesticated' or 'be eaten'. Choose your fate xeno.


BoredGeek1996

Some sort of aquatic, cephalopod sentience seeing recordings of homo sapiens dining on seafood. "Nope."


aDragonsAle

Fight, fuck, domesticate, and/or eat. These apply more broadly than they probably should...


Creative_Today_6550

Yes everyone, BLESS THE COOK!


UsedAcanthocephala50

Buff women appreciation


Gordon519

Here here


[deleted]

The hive mind isn't stupid but it has certain blind spots, its mindset is strictly predatory so the idea of making a genus that looks exactly like attractive humans but breeds true every time (cloning themselves) to breed humanity out of its own gene pool is an idea that has never occurred to it, and never will. Likewise it probably isn't aware, or doesn't care, how edible its troops and monsters are to other species unless those combat forms are being eaten alive on the battlefield. The Tyranid solution to its dead being eaten by the enemy is: 1. Don't die. 2. Eat the enemy first. 3. Advance the front line so its forces can feed on the dead of both sides. So Tyranids are probably edible (once cooked) and might even taste great (lots of nutritional density) but this is only a meal you're going to get if you're decisively winning a war against them.


Papaya140

Well specific fleets are probably inedible but that's more of a byproduct than intention so your point still stands off the top of my head tiamat's exoskeletons are hard as diamonds so can't really get to the meat, and gorgon specializes in toxic warfare so they're all highly poisonous and/or venomous


Dumbass438

Predatory silicate based lifeform: "we have no natural predators." Michel Lotito: "Bonjour."


[deleted]

H:over here we have the local wildlife trained for guard detail *points at a kenal with giant wolves* Alien: *nodding* Human:and over here is the wildlife we couldn't train *points to a enclosed space with the camp cook chasing a giant spider while waving a cleaver* Alien: *muttering what the fuck*


Decent-Quit8600

This perfectly describes every monster hunter player ever


Modern_Cathar

As an infantry man who had the displeasure of serving with a human Detachment of mercenaries, I witnessed humans doing both. It was not long before the humans domesticated the local variety of wild cat using the local variety of Leviathan. Both are dangerous predators, both eat each other but by the end the chef had one of the Wildcats quote "blooping"... the Leviathan Stew was among the best I've ever tasted, which is odd because typically the Beast is biohazard to my species I didn't find out until after I was on my third helping and would have died if it actually were toxic. And the Wildcats ended up saving our lives in the operation itself. The humans actually took them home. I pity the life forms that were on the receiving end of this assault.


Unnamed_Perpetual

Good luck eating tyranids though.... 🤮 💀


SureWhyNot5182

Guardsman: Commissar? I believe there is chaos magic afoot! I require assistance! *Fear is naught, for my faith is strong.* *Fear is naught, for my faith is strong.* *Mighty Emperor, spread Your divine light to protect me from the darkness.*


[deleted]

The nid biomass wasn't supposed to feed the enemy *screeching*


S3R3BR0N

I prefer my corpsstarch like my woman... Hot.