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H: “-And waaaaay back in the day- like, caveman shit levels of back- if you had a headache and went to a, quote unquote, “”””healer,”””” it was common for them to take a drill to your skull to let the evil spirits out or whatever demonic shit they thought got stuck in there to cause said headache.”
A: *Deathly pale* “I- …I see.”
H: “And lemme tell ya, it did not improve from there for a WHILE. As in, they were still prescribing opioids to kids for treatment over the counter as late as the early 1900s- er, that’d be standard galactic cycle 10,790 to you. Maybe 10,791? I forget.”
A: “That seems… unsafe.”
H: “Unsafe was the name of the game when it came to medical stuff up until around the 21st century or so- late 10,791st cycle for you. …Hell, you wanna talk “unsafe,” I haven’t even gone into *lobotomies* yet.”
A: “…Dare I ask what that is?”
H: “They’d shove an ice-pick lookin thing into your brain if you acted weird.”
A: “Oh ancestors-“ *vomits into a nearby trash can*
H: “Jesus! You want me to take you to the medbay?”
A: “NO! Nonono! …Uh- that is, um… Maybe the one across the station? …Staffed by majority of my *own* species?”
H: sir I have a headache
.
A doctor: ah yes, I shall treat this the way I have studied that humans usually do. I prescribe you 7 bottles of gin and these methamphetamine pills
.
H:.... I feel like something's wrong here, but I also don't care enough to point that out
The really cool part about the caveman brain surgery is that people actually survived, and not like "Oh look he's not dead instantly" but actually lived their goshdarn lives after what was essentially a rock, a stick and some herbs shoved about their skull.
What’s crazier is that, brain damage and recovery being what it is, the person would probably show some personality changes. So the cavemen would say, “Holy mammoths it worked! The demon left! Doctor Grog is a genius!”
They still practice the same treatment it's just done a lot more safely and with modern tools and monitoring and we know it's actually to relieve pressure on the brain from fluid build up, not demons.
It can relieve pressure if you have severe swelling of the brain for some reason. That's the only benifit I'm aware of and that would be extremely situational.
Until the early 1900s, chalk and arsenic were sometimes used by bakers as cheap alternatives to pad out their bread to save on expensive flour.
And that had precisely the effect you'd think it would on people's diets...
You are correct. Green wallpaper absolutely was made with arsenic. Young children would play around, lick the wallpaper and die. People went on vacations and felt better and viewed them as therapeutic because their houses were literally filled with poison that was slowly killing them.
Modern speculation says that enough arsenic has been mined by humans to kill every living thing on the planet.
Here's some interesting videos on the subject.
The Arsenic Fashion That Killed Victorians
https://youtu.be/4dDQsRy0ulE
Hidden Killers of the Victorian Home - Full Documentary
https://youtu.be/Sy7iUoWi_-U
Time - 4:35 through 17:45 for the discussion on toxic wallpaper
The second video is Sterling Documentary, and they sometimes miss or get things wrong but overall are very educational and provide a lot of interesting context.
Yo Tom Scott, good video. It's crazy to think about the dangerous things that we've pulled out of the earth and that that was an actual job that had to be done by people for so many years.
Paris/Emerald Green https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paris_green
It was definitely arsenic and was known for off gassing or otherwise releasing that arsenic back into the environment. Enough so that books using Paris Green covers have to be handled with gloves, etc ...
Actually, [Scheele's Green](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scheele%27s_Green) was the original toxic green pigment, and was well-known to be toxic, yet was still popular! It offgassed into arsine gas. Absolutely bonkers.
Husband: What was all that shouting and moaning??? Are you well dear?
Wife: oh, I am *very* well. That was simply the doctor performing an exorcism. Though he said that there’s a possibility that there might be some lingering spiritual energy, and I should return in a few days if I begin feeling faint again. It’s not safe to perform too many exorcisms in one day, you know.
Husband: R-right! Of course! That makes perfect sense!
My mother grew up in a village where a common treatment for illnesses like colds, was to burn the skin of the child’s back with red coals. The scars are very faint now, but still visible.
My grandmother was left-handed and grew up in a time when being left-handed was still taken as a sign of being in league with the devil. In the 1910s. She would've been caned at school anytime she did anything left-handedly and so ended up being ambidextrous, all because society thought left-handedness was literally evil.
This was only one hundred years ago.
My dad never got caned for using his left hand at school. However he did get caned ON his left hand for misbehaving in class, and then got caned again on his right hand for failing to tell the teacher that he was left-handed and so now could not continue his classwork. (He'd tried to tell the teacher he was left-handed, but was basically told to shut up or he'd get a worse punishment. Some teachers are just dicks in any decade). :P
I was refused some parts of my mandatory education because my crafts teacher refused to teach me how to crochet and knit.
It’s not the worst thing all things considered but I do really love crocheting and knitting now and they have legit kept me alive through some tough times.
This was in the 2000s
We were never taught to knit or crochet, but at my primary school all boys and girls were taught to sew. :) Unfortunately not a skill I kept up with at all, and couldn't for the life of me do a decent sewing job 30 years on anyway. xD
My best friend went to a Catholic school and had a similar experience, though in reverse. He used to be ambidextrous (to the point that he could quickly switch between hands while writing if one of them got tired), but every time the nun/teacher saw him using his left hand, she’d smack it with a ruler. So he had to resort to only using his right hand, and eventually lost the ability to be ambidextrous. Poor dude is still pissed off about it, and I don’t blame him.
A: Don't worry. We have a plan, and we will do this with what you Terrans call "surgical precision".
H: You are aware, are you not, that for most of human history that would mean "to within an inch or two, accompanied by a lot of screaming, and then they pour hot tar on you just where your leg was" - if you were lucky?
A: I... I see. Let's go through the plan a few more times to make sure, shall we?
\---
*with respect to Pterry, who wrote the quote that inspired me here*
A: “This sawing chain is fascinating, what was the name of the tree cutter who invented it?”
H: “It’s called a chainsaw, and erm…it was actually a doctor who invented it.”
A: “Your tree cutters are doctors? Why?”
H: “No, they were medical doctors, surgeons I think?”
A: “…what?”
H: “Yeah pretty sure the first regular use was for help in childbirth or something?”
A: “I…umm, just wow.”
Heh, the top bit is about a video by Bernadette banner.
She's actually an advocate / defender of corsetry
It gets a very bad rep because there was a tiny fraction of women who tight laced to reduce their waists unreasonable amounts (this only came about near the end of the age of the corset, when metal grommets were invented, which stopped corsets from tearing when you pull hard. )
Saying corsets are inherently dangerous is like saying pants are inherently dangerous, because in the early aughts there were some who wore skinny jeans so tight it cut off circulation.
A corset is better for the body than a bra, because it distributes the pressure much more evenly than two thin shoulder straps. It also keeps your posture straighter.
It was misogynistic men who spread the lie of most women being too stupid to know what's good for them, and being frail little birds
I've seen a few of her videos. The one comparing a dress she made and a Chinese knock off was pretty interesting in showing just why a dress costing half a grand to make can be "reproduced" (for a certain lack of standards anyway) for only a couple dozen bucks.
leeches are used today for some specific applications. maggots are used to in wounds that have rotten flesh. they'll eat the rotten flesh and leave the healthy stuff alone
She's my favourite Internet personality of all time!
I'm sure aliens would have some Opinions on the subsets of humans that obsess over our own history and dress/live like humans of past eras did... but I just agree with Bernadette about the Victorian era being cool.
Corsets aren't actually harmful, that's an urban legend.
"Everyone keeps dying, Dr! Are we not prescribing enough mercury?"
"No, the real problem is women's underwear! Did you know if they wear high heels their uterus will fall out? I have a medical degree!"
I leave near a medical museum. And it had a short film/recreation of a Victorian era leg amputation after the victim had a spinning jerry run over their leg.
On a school trip one the kids on the class fainted from it.
A: So let me get this right; your species wears leather that permanently disfigures and reshapes your bone structure, shifting your organs in dangerous ways
H: A bit old fashioned, and most of us don't do that anymore, but yeah
A: In the name of beauty
H: Yep
A: And you painted lead on your walls and skin, which is poisonous to your kind
H: Also yes
A: And your doctors would prescribe drugs and alcohol as medication, which long-term use causes brain damage
H: Yes as well
A: And you would drill holes into your skull, which is meant to protect your brain, your centre of the nervous system, to cure headaches
H: We thought it would release 'the evil spirits trapped within' you know? Pretty funny huh?
A: No not really. And you replaced your blood with milk, which was believed to be a perfect substitute
H: Used to think the white fat would become white blood cells
A: You thought that inhaling *chloroform* and *smoking cigarettes would help cure asthma!*
H: .. Yes
A: YOU HAVE RECORDS OF XENOTRANSPLANTING ORGANS OF A CHIMPANZEE TO A HUMAN MALE TO TRY GAIN YOUTH BACK
H: ... Okay I don't really have an answer for that
A: YOU HAVE A HISTORY OF **INFUSING** ***B*****OILING, TOBACCO-INFUSED WATER INTO THE INTESTINES OF YOUR SPECIES**
H: Oh the old European doctors. Gotta love England, God save the Monarch leader.
A: \*Looks at list\* \*looks back at human\*
Also A: *How in the Eya'wa's stars are you alive?*
[https://blogs.loc.gov/headlinesandheroes/2022/04/10-strange-medical-practices-from-history/](https://blogs.loc.gov/headlinesandheroes/2022/04/10-strange-medical-practices-from-history/)
In an attempt to reduce remind me spam, all top comments that include a remind me will be removed. If you would like to have a remind me, please reply to this comment. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/humansarespaceorcs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
H: “-And waaaaay back in the day- like, caveman shit levels of back- if you had a headache and went to a, quote unquote, “”””healer,”””” it was common for them to take a drill to your skull to let the evil spirits out or whatever demonic shit they thought got stuck in there to cause said headache.” A: *Deathly pale* “I- …I see.” H: “And lemme tell ya, it did not improve from there for a WHILE. As in, they were still prescribing opioids to kids for treatment over the counter as late as the early 1900s- er, that’d be standard galactic cycle 10,790 to you. Maybe 10,791? I forget.” A: “That seems… unsafe.” H: “Unsafe was the name of the game when it came to medical stuff up until around the 21st century or so- late 10,791st cycle for you. …Hell, you wanna talk “unsafe,” I haven’t even gone into *lobotomies* yet.” A: “…Dare I ask what that is?” H: “They’d shove an ice-pick lookin thing into your brain if you acted weird.” A: “Oh ancestors-“ *vomits into a nearby trash can* H: “Jesus! You want me to take you to the medbay?” A: “NO! Nonono! …Uh- that is, um… Maybe the one across the station? …Staffed by majority of my *own* species?”
H: sir I have a headache . A doctor: ah yes, I shall treat this the way I have studied that humans usually do. I prescribe you 7 bottles of gin and these methamphetamine pills . H:.... I feel like something's wrong here, but I also don't care enough to point that out
"I don't think that's right, but FUCKIN SCORE!"
"................Okay then, Doctors orders."
Well at least the pain will go away... Until the Hangover... And the Withdraw...
The really cool part about the caveman brain surgery is that people actually survived, and not like "Oh look he's not dead instantly" but actually lived their goshdarn lives after what was essentially a rock, a stick and some herbs shoved about their skull.
What’s crazier is that, brain damage and recovery being what it is, the person would probably show some personality changes. So the cavemen would say, “Holy mammoths it worked! The demon left! Doctor Grog is a genius!”
They still practice the same treatment it's just done a lot more safely and with modern tools and monitoring and we know it's actually to relieve pressure on the brain from fluid build up, not demons.
Why can't it be both?
The demons are the cause of the fluid build up
It's really the only logical conclusion
There is no reason to assume the fluid isn't the demons themselves
The demons in your head had to go. So the stuff after they went had to go somewhere, no convenient waste disposal unit...
It's called [trephination](https://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trepanning). Some people think it good for you.
It can relieve pressure if you have severe swelling of the brain for some reason. That's the only benifit I'm aware of and that would be extremely situational.
> drill Drill is a really generous term... think sharpened chisel they would tap and scrape against your exposed skull while you we conscious.
>late 10,791*th* cycle I hate this
Alright, alright. 10,793th cycle. …Better?
stop
10,795rd?
I am going to cancel you on my twitter dot com
“I’ve come to make an announcement, Jackviator the hedgehog is a bitch-ass motherfucker-“
"He fucking said 10,791th. That's right, he opened his greasy fucking gullet and he said 10791th."
Sorry, it clearly should've been 1,0791nd.
Until the early 1900s, chalk and arsenic were sometimes used by bakers as cheap alternatives to pad out their bread to save on expensive flour. And that had precisely the effect you'd think it would on people's diets...
Were they still hungry after eating it? No? Well that bread did its job then. Not the baker’s fault your digestive system is weak.
Wasn't the greenpaint/ wallpaper on the walls full of some sort of arsenic or cyanide compound?
You are correct. Green wallpaper absolutely was made with arsenic. Young children would play around, lick the wallpaper and die. People went on vacations and felt better and viewed them as therapeutic because their houses were literally filled with poison that was slowly killing them. Modern speculation says that enough arsenic has been mined by humans to kill every living thing on the planet. Here's some interesting videos on the subject. The Arsenic Fashion That Killed Victorians https://youtu.be/4dDQsRy0ulE Hidden Killers of the Victorian Home - Full Documentary https://youtu.be/Sy7iUoWi_-U Time - 4:35 through 17:45 for the discussion on toxic wallpaper The second video is Sterling Documentary, and they sometimes miss or get things wrong but overall are very educational and provide a lot of interesting context.
There's also a mine full of arsenic. https://youtu.be/E4nZDSLdIiM
Yo Tom Scott, good video. It's crazy to think about the dangerous things that we've pulled out of the earth and that that was an actual job that had to be done by people for so many years.
Paris/Emerald Green https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paris_green It was definitely arsenic and was known for off gassing or otherwise releasing that arsenic back into the environment. Enough so that books using Paris Green covers have to be handled with gloves, etc ...
Actually, [Scheele's Green](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scheele%27s_Green) was the original toxic green pigment, and was well-known to be toxic, yet was still popular! It offgassed into arsine gas. Absolutely bonkers.
It was also full of radium resulting in a shit ton of people dying of cancer
Radium wasn't used in wallpaper. Glowing wallpaper wasn't cool in Victorian times, just really toxic arsenic green.
yeah that was watches my bad, still resulted in a ton of women dying of throat/mouth/stomach cancer from ingesting radium tho
Yes it contained arsenic, cyanide was used dyes
Deadly wallpaper book. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shadows_from_the_Walls_of_Death
Husband: What was all that shouting and moaning??? Are you well dear? Wife: oh, I am *very* well. That was simply the doctor performing an exorcism. Though he said that there’s a possibility that there might be some lingering spiritual energy, and I should return in a few days if I begin feeling faint again. It’s not safe to perform too many exorcisms in one day, you know. Husband: R-right! Of course! That makes perfect sense!
My mother grew up in a village where a common treatment for illnesses like colds, was to burn the skin of the child’s back with red coals. The scars are very faint now, but still visible.
My grandmother was left-handed and grew up in a time when being left-handed was still taken as a sign of being in league with the devil. In the 1910s. She would've been caned at school anytime she did anything left-handedly and so ended up being ambidextrous, all because society thought left-handedness was literally evil. This was only one hundred years ago.
Grew up Catholic, I'm 30, my granny still whipped my hands whenever she caught me using my left. Did it to my mom too, so it absolutely still happens
My dad never got caned for using his left hand at school. However he did get caned ON his left hand for misbehaving in class, and then got caned again on his right hand for failing to tell the teacher that he was left-handed and so now could not continue his classwork. (He'd tried to tell the teacher he was left-handed, but was basically told to shut up or he'd get a worse punishment. Some teachers are just dicks in any decade). :P
I was refused some parts of my mandatory education because my crafts teacher refused to teach me how to crochet and knit. It’s not the worst thing all things considered but I do really love crocheting and knitting now and they have legit kept me alive through some tough times. This was in the 2000s
We were never taught to knit or crochet, but at my primary school all boys and girls were taught to sew. :) Unfortunately not a skill I kept up with at all, and couldn't for the life of me do a decent sewing job 30 years on anyway. xD
My best friend went to a Catholic school and had a similar experience, though in reverse. He used to be ambidextrous (to the point that he could quickly switch between hands while writing if one of them got tired), but every time the nun/teacher saw him using his left hand, she’d smack it with a ruler. So he had to resort to only using his right hand, and eventually lost the ability to be ambidextrous. Poor dude is still pissed off about it, and I don’t blame him.
How terrible. I hope she is happy now, and doesn't bear too many emotional scars from that.
Oh yes, leaving the country was the best thing for her family and her own mental/physical health.
🤘 Good to hear. I'm glad she is doing better now.
probably warmed them right up.. right?... ouch.
Well, it would definitely make a kid stop feeling sick if they’re feeling pain instead.
Which I'm sure they took as proof it worked, poor kids
Where was this?
Jungle village in the Philippines.
A: Don't worry. We have a plan, and we will do this with what you Terrans call "surgical precision". H: You are aware, are you not, that for most of human history that would mean "to within an inch or two, accompanied by a lot of screaming, and then they pour hot tar on you just where your leg was" - if you were lucky? A: I... I see. Let's go through the plan a few more times to make sure, shall we? \--- *with respect to Pterry, who wrote the quote that inspired me here*
A: “This sawing chain is fascinating, what was the name of the tree cutter who invented it?” H: “It’s called a chainsaw, and erm…it was actually a doctor who invented it.” A: “Your tree cutters are doctors? Why?” H: “No, they were medical doctors, surgeons I think?” A: “…what?” H: “Yeah pretty sure the first regular use was for help in childbirth or something?” A: “I…umm, just wow.”
I'm hoping doctors a century from now end up feeling the same. "Wait, they fycking *irradiated* themselves to kill the cancer cells?!"
Well, when all you've got is high energy radiation, everything starts to look like cancer.
...I mean, yes, that is a correct statement, but not in the way that idiom is normally supposed to come across.
Heh, the top bit is about a video by Bernadette banner. She's actually an advocate / defender of corsetry It gets a very bad rep because there was a tiny fraction of women who tight laced to reduce their waists unreasonable amounts (this only came about near the end of the age of the corset, when metal grommets were invented, which stopped corsets from tearing when you pull hard. ) Saying corsets are inherently dangerous is like saying pants are inherently dangerous, because in the early aughts there were some who wore skinny jeans so tight it cut off circulation. A corset is better for the body than a bra, because it distributes the pressure much more evenly than two thin shoulder straps. It also keeps your posture straighter. It was misogynistic men who spread the lie of most women being too stupid to know what's good for them, and being frail little birds
I've seen a few of her videos. The one comparing a dress she made and a Chinese knock off was pretty interesting in showing just why a dress costing half a grand to make can be "reproduced" (for a certain lack of standards anyway) for only a couple dozen bucks.
I've seen that one! Gorgeous dress, hilariously shit knock off.
the sawbones podcast is great for that, it's absolutely wild the shit we've done to try to treat stuff through the years
Also the Radium Girls, don't forgot those wonderful women...
Leeches!
leeches are used today for some specific applications. maggots are used to in wounds that have rotten flesh. they'll eat the rotten flesh and leave the healthy stuff alone
This is the video: https://youtu.be/ORwD-8U2f9c
Bernadette banner :)))))))
She's my favourite Internet personality of all time! I'm sure aliens would have some Opinions on the subsets of humans that obsess over our own history and dress/live like humans of past eras did... but I just agree with Bernadette about the Victorian era being cool.
The green wallpaper contained arsenic, not lead.
Sounds like you could use some mummy powder.
Corsets aren't actually harmful, that's an urban legend. "Everyone keeps dying, Dr! Are we not prescribing enough mercury?" "No, the real problem is women's underwear! Did you know if they wear high heels their uterus will fall out? I have a medical degree!"
I leave near a medical museum. And it had a short film/recreation of a Victorian era leg amputation after the victim had a spinning jerry run over their leg. On a school trip one the kids on the class fainted from it.
A: So let me get this right; your species wears leather that permanently disfigures and reshapes your bone structure, shifting your organs in dangerous ways H: A bit old fashioned, and most of us don't do that anymore, but yeah A: In the name of beauty H: Yep A: And you painted lead on your walls and skin, which is poisonous to your kind H: Also yes A: And your doctors would prescribe drugs and alcohol as medication, which long-term use causes brain damage H: Yes as well A: And you would drill holes into your skull, which is meant to protect your brain, your centre of the nervous system, to cure headaches H: We thought it would release 'the evil spirits trapped within' you know? Pretty funny huh? A: No not really. And you replaced your blood with milk, which was believed to be a perfect substitute H: Used to think the white fat would become white blood cells A: You thought that inhaling *chloroform* and *smoking cigarettes would help cure asthma!* H: .. Yes A: YOU HAVE RECORDS OF XENOTRANSPLANTING ORGANS OF A CHIMPANZEE TO A HUMAN MALE TO TRY GAIN YOUTH BACK H: ... Okay I don't really have an answer for that A: YOU HAVE A HISTORY OF **INFUSING** ***B*****OILING, TOBACCO-INFUSED WATER INTO THE INTESTINES OF YOUR SPECIES** H: Oh the old European doctors. Gotta love England, God save the Monarch leader. A: \*Looks at list\* \*looks back at human\* Also A: *How in the Eya'wa's stars are you alive?* [https://blogs.loc.gov/headlinesandheroes/2022/04/10-strange-medical-practices-from-history/](https://blogs.loc.gov/headlinesandheroes/2022/04/10-strange-medical-practices-from-history/)