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One day, a human like creature on Earth picked up a rock and hucked it at the nearest deer. The universe then decided to make that everyone else's problem
Oh sorry, the First Contact series by raltsbloodthorne that's on HFY used a similar phrase before, and it's a very good and long read. Should check it out of you're interested.
What my client is trying to say is that should you wish to engage in war we shall gladly mete out violence. And since the Geneva conventions only apply to intrahuman conflict and not Xenos they become suggestions.
To be clear, fuck around, find out, and worry when you hear the bushes say “aboot, eh?”
"Sir, we don't have FTL travel, it would take us 10 years to spread democracy to that planet!"
"Asteroid slingshot"
"Excuse me?"
"Asteroid slingshot, get to it, I want it ready in a week"
Grabbing stuff and being able to throw semi-accurately require evolving rotator cuffs in our shoulders, opposable thumbs, eyes/facial structure that enables stereoscopic vision, and brains capable of processing spatial relationships and causality.
>>ability to craft tools on the spot
Again, with the brain evolution.
In that vein, I like to think [kindness](https://youtu.be/5uFwyPP5GOQ?si=XkDoOW0PDwDam6aU) is our greatest evolutionary advantage.
Like, build machinery and undertake logistics? Yes with technologies help. Throw a rock and have it go where you want? The aliens all lose their minds when they find out about football.
A: "HA! look at you, with your weak claws, no armor, no camouflage how can you **possibly** hope to beat us?!"
H(who just finished loading his shotgun): "with spite and blackpowder, that's how."
"Once, millenia ago, humanity was weak. Then, John Moses Browning descended from the mountain and made us all equals." Cocks the 3011, which is just a 1911 that fires plasma, with malicious intent.
In an alien dive bar on a crappy space station in one of the seedy parts of the Galaxy:
Roo- rur (hiccup) Rumour has it, that they once threw a nine mile wide ass- asterer (hic) space rock at their own damn planet!
Exclamations of disbelief run around the table.
No it's true, for some reason, one of the first things these monkeys did. They get out of their system, strap a damn great FTL drive onto a big rock and hoof it into the nearest black hole!
Turns out issa wormhole, pops sixty five million years in the past going 20 kms/sec...
(Slams two beer mugs together) wham! Right into a major continent, earthquakes, volcanoes, tsunamis, sky full of dust and debris, seas turned to acid, all the mega fauna wiped out...
The mega fauna! Wait till I tell you about them!!
Alien Barman: Okay Pops, you've had enough! (Picks him up and throws him out the door) ...and you scumbags shouldn't encourage the crazy old bastard!
“The Asgard would never invent a weapon that propels small weights of iron and carbon alloys, by igniting a powder of potassium nitrate, charcoal and sulphur.”
Or not so tiny since "bullet" can cover things launched out of artillery tubes and magnetic accelerators **of any size**.
A "shell" is just a type of bullet that's been hollowed out and filled with something else, usually explosives, submunitions, or other "fun" stuff.
Most Xenos have developed high energy lasers to fight with thus the response has been higher density armor for their ships, but in the end its a stalemate, the lasers either can't pierce the hull or the ships so slow they can't gain a tactical advantage, who could ever forsee a species like Humans, who developed their weapons upon how hard and fast you can throw something... in the future this translated into fast, agile ships with HMACs (Hyper magnetic Accelerater Cannons) installed, throwing bus sized slugs of tungsten at slow moving targets at ridiculous speeds... no one stood a chance.
I'm reminded of a story (or is it a genre?) where a human gets into a duel with a bigger, more physically powerful alien, and the only weapon the human is allowed is a knife.
Naturally, the human wins the duel by throwing the knife the instant the duel starts and nailing his opponent's brain through the eye socket. Or getting some other vital organ anyway.
IOW, "I can throw farther than your arms and claws can reach."
Dark Lord Nightgale Queen of All Evil: Thou hast come expecting to defeat me with the combined might of all the Galaxy. But I have come prepared. I have erected a barrier so powerful that no magic nor technology known to anyone in this universe may penetrate it. If you defeat me this day, you may take my Hallowed Goddess Virginity. But, you will not, and your days are numebred impudent foe.
*Gets hit in head and instantly drops dead*
High Technomage Alteriac: How did you penetrate her shield?
Private Greg, who enlisted 4 weeks ago: I threw a rock at her.
In an attempt to reduce remind me spam, all top comments that include a remind me will be removed. If you would like to have a remind me, please reply to this comment. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/humansarespaceorcs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
One day, a human like creature on Earth picked up a rock and hucked it at the nearest deer. The universe then decided to make that everyone else's problem
This is widely considered a very bad decision and made everybody very angry.
Still the best series and adventure I read on many forums.
What series?
Oh sorry, the First Contact series by raltsbloodthorne that's on HFY used a similar phrase before, and it's a very good and long read. Should check it out of you're interested.
Yeah, but the phrase is from Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.
Ah, he must have lifted it then. Nonetheless, it's a great phrase.
Hfy? Google says humanity fuck yea
It's a subreddit dedicated to stories about Humanity being, well, human, in the best and worst ways possible.
r/HFY Great stories
It's an HHGTTG reference first.
Noted and saving for later! Thanks!
https://preview.redd.it/2s5hjzpwtioc1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fd70314ee9d002312957d021dada23d171532167
Even worse, the pieces they couldn't eat they made into clothing, art, and weapons.
So our advantage is "Everything is a weapon". Sounds good to me.
Look around any room that you are in and realize that you could kill somebody with every single object in that room.
I'll kill you with my tea cup
And that's a slow death
I understood that reference!
Xenos: Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger Humanity: "Think Fast, Chucklenuts!"
Humanity: "OK, well throw things harder, better, faster, stronger then!" Xenos: No wait that's illegal
"so sue us, and face the wrath of our lawyers, fuck face! Humanity never surrenders!"
What my client is trying to say is that should you wish to engage in war we shall gladly mete out violence. And since the Geneva conventions only apply to intrahuman conflict and not Xenos they become suggestions. To be clear, fuck around, find out, and worry when you hear the bushes say “aboot, eh?”
Is the lawyer Canadian
Ape throw rock! Ape together strong!
Take a big ass rock aka astroid, throw it sligslot around planets. It will then hit tagert in X years. Nice.
"Sir, we don't have FTL travel, it would take us 10 years to spread democracy to that planet!" "Asteroid slingshot" "Excuse me?" "Asteroid slingshot, get to it, I want it ready in a week"
"I don't need it perfect. I need it Tuesday."
Humans be like: https://preview.redd.it/qk2vb2d1ahoc1.png?width=454&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2241cba4e8efdb5f12552e51b2c13f62421da6a7
Always remember that Sir Isaac Newton is the deadliest son of a bitch in space
And his friend Murphy is no slouch either.
Happy cake day
Thank you.
Grabbing stuff and being able to throw semi-accurately require evolving rotator cuffs in our shoulders, opposable thumbs, eyes/facial structure that enables stereoscopic vision, and brains capable of processing spatial relationships and causality.
Add to that our ability to craft tools on the spot and run literally indefinitely under our own power
>>ability to craft tools on the spot Again, with the brain evolution. In that vein, I like to think [kindness](https://youtu.be/5uFwyPP5GOQ?si=XkDoOW0PDwDam6aU) is our greatest evolutionary advantage.
https://preview.redd.it/sosferkqiioc1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=d53cae722650fb36a43816352d8468bcd23def27
https://preview.redd.it/jdzyqyspyhoc1.jpeg?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=00c1056b8c462e5d9f60b6166768a2d0dbab696f
I think you are grossly underestimating how weird and ridiculously op being able to throw in a straight line is in the animal kingdom lol
I like the idea that the rest of the galaxy can’t do it lol
Like, build machinery and undertake logistics? Yes with technologies help. Throw a rock and have it go where you want? The aliens all lose their minds when they find out about football.
Especially due to the fact that there's no ball and very little foot involved in that game
Truely humans are a contrarian species.
A: "HA! look at you, with your weak claws, no armor, no camouflage how can you **possibly** hope to beat us?!" H(who just finished loading his shotgun): "with spite and blackpowder, that's how."
"Once, millenia ago, humanity was weak. Then, John Moses Browning descended from the mountain and made us all equals." Cocks the 3011, which is just a 1911 that fires plasma, with malicious intent.
As long as it's still in God's caliber, it's acceptable.
.45 gauge plasma. Cause 'merica
.45 caliber is traditional. .45 gauge I think you could put your fist in. Merca approves.
Well that means the hole it leaves will be at least that big...cause stoppin power!
Oh yes
"Throw a rock." - Jesus
(Slightly paraphrased.)
It's actually an exact quote. John 69:420.
In an alien dive bar on a crappy space station in one of the seedy parts of the Galaxy: Roo- rur (hiccup) Rumour has it, that they once threw a nine mile wide ass- asterer (hic) space rock at their own damn planet! Exclamations of disbelief run around the table. No it's true, for some reason, one of the first things these monkeys did. They get out of their system, strap a damn great FTL drive onto a big rock and hoof it into the nearest black hole! Turns out issa wormhole, pops sixty five million years in the past going 20 kms/sec... (Slams two beer mugs together) wham! Right into a major continent, earthquakes, volcanoes, tsunamis, sky full of dust and debris, seas turned to acid, all the mega fauna wiped out... The mega fauna! Wait till I tell you about them!! Alien Barman: Okay Pops, you've had enough! (Picks him up and throws him out the door) ...and you scumbags shouldn't encourage the crazy old bastard!
You see. We never stopped throwing rocks. We just made it easier and easier to do it. What is a bullet, but a tiny rock?
“The Asgard would never invent a weapon that propels small weights of iron and carbon alloys, by igniting a powder of potassium nitrate, charcoal and sulphur.”
Small victorys season 4 episode 1
No, they have to get them from a place called “Texass”
Tiny, spicy rock
Or not so tiny since "bullet" can cover things launched out of artillery tubes and magnetic accelerators **of any size**. A "shell" is just a type of bullet that's been hollowed out and filled with something else, usually explosives, submunitions, or other "fun" stuff.
Most Xenos have developed high energy lasers to fight with thus the response has been higher density armor for their ships, but in the end its a stalemate, the lasers either can't pierce the hull or the ships so slow they can't gain a tactical advantage, who could ever forsee a species like Humans, who developed their weapons upon how hard and fast you can throw something... in the future this translated into fast, agile ships with HMACs (Hyper magnetic Accelerater Cannons) installed, throwing bus sized slugs of tungsten at slow moving targets at ridiculous speeds... no one stood a chance.
Ke=MV^(2) is king baby!
Humans have special powers ... Trolling Endurance Spitefulness
Don’t forget drugs.
...and sarcasm.
Really? And just why do you think that we're sarcastic?
I'm reminded of a story (or is it a genre?) where a human gets into a duel with a bigger, more physically powerful alien, and the only weapon the human is allowed is a knife. Naturally, the human wins the duel by throwing the knife the instant the duel starts and nailing his opponent's brain through the eye socket. Or getting some other vital organ anyway. IOW, "I can throw farther than your arms and claws can reach."
Don’t forget running.
Being creative is far more important than having super powers. Its not the power you have, it’s how you use it!
> Humans can grab stuff and throw semi-accurately. Yeah, that *is* our giant evolutional advantage.
Dark Lord Nightgale Queen of All Evil: Thou hast come expecting to defeat me with the combined might of all the Galaxy. But I have come prepared. I have erected a barrier so powerful that no magic nor technology known to anyone in this universe may penetrate it. If you defeat me this day, you may take my Hallowed Goddess Virginity. But, you will not, and your days are numebred impudent foe. *Gets hit in head and instantly drops dead* High Technomage Alteriac: How did you penetrate her shield? Private Greg, who enlisted 4 weeks ago: I threw a rock at her.
Dammit Greg I was third in line for that taking virginity thing.
You don't need to be accurate with a hand grenade.
So basically: Fuck you, we have guns.
No, it's worse than that. It's "fuck you, we can throw rocks."
Guns are just a fancy way to throw rocks
Don't forget walking in the midday heat