Though it’s heavily implied, you never specified they have to be my bones. I’m getting a bucket of kfc and I’ll break every bone making myself a decent amount.

You beat me to it. Alternatively, and much darker, got anyone you really, really don't like? Might be time to look up those childhood bullies.

206 is the magic number

Don’t forget about the 207th bone

If 206 are broken, I'm guessing the 207th won't work either

*sad trumpet noises*

*Squelching noise* "Yeah, that's not actually a bone..." 😢

"I broke all of his bones and he got an erection." "Break that one, too."

I wish I could hear what the trumpet noises sounded like in your mind when you were writing that. Were they like *these trumpet noises?*

That's why you start with that one

Just gotta start with the 207th bone and work backwards.

You start with the 207th

Life, uh, finds a way...

You and I are now approximately 3 million bucks richer 💀💀

I see your darkness and raise you an orphanage

Burn ward. They don't run away as much.

Become an orthopedic surgeon. Get paid to break bones and take the hospital expenses to fix them. Start a clinic for ortho surgery surgery. Give patients a cut to have their bones broken by you, charge money to students for the training to fix them, take most of the hospital costs. Ker-ching.

THIS IS THE WAY!

I mean, if you're already in the hospital... I'm sure the babies down the hall are already crying anyway 🤷‍♂️

Their bones are still soft and very hard to actually break. Go up to the geriatric ward. They've got those brittle, easy to break bones. And they aren't much faster than the babies.

Dude that's... fantastic, you make great points

Thank you. Plus, they're old, and their odds of ever making it out of the geriatric ward are very low, so much less of a moral dilemma than a baby. Another good lead is the hospice ward. I mean, you're almost doing them a favor. Split the money you make from breaking their bones with their family, and you are doing them a favor. And since they are in hospice care, they have unlimited narcotic pain medicine, so they won't even feel it.

Came her for this one. Children even have extra bones, but they are so flexible...old people on the other hand.

It's not something I'd ever do in a real-world situation, but if we're discussing hypotheticals, let's get factual and go where the real money is with the least amount of moral dilemma. Edit to add: I'd say we're all going to hell, but I'm guessing none of us believe in that.

Just join the mob and it doesn’t have to be a hypothetical situation anymore

anytime you break a bone, now you have two new bones to break

Legal expenses aren’t covered. 

Or just get a current yearbook. Children's bones break much easier than adult bones

Until the bones are set and the end plates fused, it takes a lot more force to break a child's bone than it does an adult bone. That doesn't happen until around 15 for females and 17 for males. You may still have a point about it being 'easier', though. Children are typically smaller and weaker, and they don't fight back as much as adults, in general.

I was going down a similar route in my head, but I failed to make the leap from live humans to dead chickens.

You were going to put live people in hot oil?

This is probably how genies became tricksters, they got tired of our bullshit.

I’m just going to Costco and buying a bunch of full size salmon filets and dragging a knife through each side. I would be rich in about 20min.

Why buy them? That eats into process

You going to risk jail time for vandalism or destruction of property instead of buying them? That seems crazy considering the profit margins.

I really like how half of this sub is about taking the situation as intended and half of this sub is taking it as written, like some weird reverse genie situation.

Me too and I try to be petty even about engaging with posts both ways. It keeps things interesting in my opinion.

That's the fun if it! If OP does something economically silly, how fast can we generate implausible amounts of money? If OP does something that breaks physics...physics is a wall, crack it here and the whole thing might collapse. Give me infinite anything and I'll use them to build a staircase to the moon

Haha. Just dump buckets of animal bones into a grinder and become rich

r/reversemonkeyspaw

r/subsifellfor

Why bother with chickens? There's so many perfectly breakeable human bones around.

Much easier to break. Bird bones are light for flying, mammal bones are denser.

I like the feel when there's some resistance to it.

*stares at you from across the room as I’m being carted out of KFC by EMS with my body in shambles*

Beat me to it, but I’d just buy a bunch of super bony fish and throw them into a food processor

If they do have to be mine I'm gunna call up my parents and see how many baby teeth they kept. Some parents are weird and do that. If they don't have any, the answer is zero. If they do, it's however many teeth they have.

Medically speaking, teeth are not bones, so you're getting $0 either way

Casually takes a trip to the Paris catacombs

Even if they have to be MY bones… I accept the deal. Two ribs. Now I pull out the pieces of my rib bones that were surgically removed a while back (no, not so I can do sexual things to myself. Different ribs, and because of a structural problem that was causing nerve damage) and break both pieces.

But then you'd have to eat at kfc

Might not be Popeyes or church's, but fried chicken is still fried chicken

Do the chicken bones still heal without complications?

I paid for the bucket of chicken, they're my bones now.

I mean, they also never said human bones. I'ma count every bone in the rats I feed my snake.

But it does say that *you* break. The way you mentioned is your snake breaking them. If you’re going to do a loophole, you have to make sure it’s airtight and doesn’t have any loopholes of its own.

Fair point. But stomping on dead bodies isn't hard either :-D

Also beat me to it, but I’m going with chicken wings. I’m going to do it free style and nasty 😂 Get a box of gloves and steal all the trash from the most populated wing place and get to cracking them bones 😂 Or behave and put in a 15k order of wings have a giant feed everyone party and make millions cracking those bones. 😂

I was thinking this same thing. It was NEVER stated that we had to break our own bones. Haha!

You go there I’m a go to Popeyes

Well now I feel like shit - while you were headed to KFC I was getting my bat!

PETA is coming down on you hard

This is the way. Though for me I'd probably just get a rotisserie chicken instead so I can eat it (I can't eat gluten).

OP didn't say that had to be real bones. Print off a bunch of pictures of skeletons. I figure you can get 16 skeletons on one piece of paper. Each skeleton has at least 20 bones. Get a shredder that can do ten sheets of paper at once. That'll be 3,200 bones broken at one time. At $15K per bone, you can make $48 million in less than five minutes. That's over half a billion dollars in one hours worth of work.

at 15 grand a pop, i’d swing by the maternity ward with a big rubber mallet and leave a millionaire

Bucket of kfc? Maybe I’m a psycho but my first thought was to break someone else’s bones

I'm good man. I fractured the ball of my shoulder in a dislocation in April. I'll take health and full mobility over 15k.

I came here thinking of something along the lines of, a foot has tons of bones, but then reading sll the comments just made me hurt all over. I'll take my bones unbroken, tyvm.

I was doing PT 3 times a week for a month before they even ordered an MRI and discovered the fracture. The follow up with the doc he says "do you need your pain meds refilled?" I laughed and said I never asked for any, and I've only taken about 3 Aleve for pain in the last month. He looked at me like I was crazy. So yeah, I have a stupid high pain tolerance, and I'd still take the healthy body over the money.

I don't have the same tolerance to oain as you do and I've luckily remained in one piece all my life, but I don't really feel like I'd wanna change that, especially not for 15 grand.

I just dislocated my thumb. If I can get the money retroactively, than I choose once. It's a pita to break a bone.

None, not worth the pain and loss of function.

You won't use a wheelchair for 15,000+?

I would definitely not use a wheelchair for six weeks for $15,000+. I live in an old house and I’d have to make so many life decisions given that it would be impossible to make my house wheelchair-accessible. Unless the challenge comes with a free extension I can build onto the back of my house. Would I do it for a million dollars or a stupid amount of money? Sure.

Depending on the bone but most bones, once broken, never really heals right. They hurt or ache forever.

I can agree with that. But on the plus side, I've won plenty of bets on predicting if it's going to snow

They said heal with no complications

"all other bones heal without complication"

Still hard pass. Add another zero at the end and I might consider 😬

Fuck no, how poor are you?

Each foot has 26 bones, so I'd break every bone in both feet for a cool $780,000 then call it good.

Some of those bones are so small, it would be excruciatingly painful to manage to break all of them. Like, you would have to severely mutilate your foot, tendons, ligaments, all the connective tissue and nerves, skin, etc. absolutely zero chance you could walk again except for the magical statement that they heal without complications. But it also says in normal time. There is no normal time for that sort of healing. And does all the rest of your foot recover similarly? Not even a scar after it’s all done?

My SIL broke one of the tiny ones so bad it had to be removed. She's fine and back to running marathons

oo, can I break just the sutural bones in my head, they aren't important after the scull fully hardens and it should be easy enough to break one without damaging the scull.

Seems like a good option if you can figure out how to do it without major brain damage

I did this in my hand, it took them 9 months to figure out it was still broken because it hadn't healed at all... because *I* was reporting enough pain

[удалено]

I wouldn't recommend breaking those bones. Takes a specialist to deal with it and it's very risky.

I believe the medical expenses are for after the broken bones. A doctor would probably charge you $20k to break a bone. You'd be out money

For nearly 800m, I’d be happy to have below the knee amputations.

Million? That's 780 thousand my guy. 780,000 NOT 780,000,000.

I’m bad at reading numbers. 800k isn’t worth a double foot amputation. I’m out!

Fuck no

My thoughts exactly.

Just a heads up. recovery and what’s seems to be life long issues are likely with those. Id choose my hands before my feet

The prompt literally said “all other bones will heal without complication”

I don’t read

Each hand has 27 bones. 

I can still play video games with broken feet. Can't do a lot with broken hands.

Unless you have a cool mom

God damnit

“What are you doing, step-mom?” “Just helping you ‘relieve’ yourself, honey.” PornHubIntro.mp3

15k is not enough coming from someone who has broken both arms.

if you break both arms mom gets to take care of you though

I think I've seen that video before

I was going to say a couple fingers until I saw the caveat about function. How about a pinky toe?

Caveat didn't apply to toes and most people break their toes often without even being aware of it.

I broke my toe in half a few weeks ago. Like all the way, what was once one bone was two bones. It hurts pretty fucking bad, but definitely not even close to the most painful injury. For $15,000 each, I could do that 10 times and hobble away with $150,000 easy. maybe throw in the pinky fingers, that's $180,000 and it would only be kinda inconvenient for a month.

It felt like there was a rock in my shoe, even when I wasn't wearing shoes or socks even

I doubt that. Sounds extremely painful.

It hurts initially but you can walk on it and hardly notice. It’s hardly worth going to the doctor for, not much they can do. A really bad stubbed toe can be broken or not. The lingering pain is similar

You can break each finger 1 time with no detriment to function. Any finger you break more than 1 time you will risk the normal case of injury for such a break. 1 Pinky toe = 15k lol So that's valid.

Your fingers have more than one bone in them though, so I’m not sure how much this person understands human anatomy vs the trick is that the prompt doesn’t say they have to be your bones. Or even real bones.

Don’t underestimate how much it sucks to break your pinky toe.

Oh, I've done it. On a trip to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I crushed it into a wall. It wasn't fun walking for a few weeks, but for $15k, I'd do it again.

I broke the one next to it in half. It hurts but nowhere close to my most painful injury.

You do realize that you didn’t stipulate who‘s bones were to be broken, right?

i'm broken quite a few bones in my body. the pain can range from unbearable and wishing i would die, to not knowing that the bone is even broken unless i'm looking at it. it's wild how much it varies. regardless, the answer is no.

All 26 bones in each foot, and all 27 bones in my left hand. Might spread it out over a year or two.

You went a step farther than I did by including your left hand.. Nice pay day.

All 26 foot bones, in both feet, for $780k

Wheelchair for a couple months. See, I knew someone was gonna be clever with this lol Painful, but within the paramters of the question, a good choice

That's what drugs are for. Or I could mostly enjoy my normal life while I wait.

This. Heal fully with no complications. Doctor/hopspital costs paid for. Super painful initially but 780k is waiting for me.

Bones can be broken and will heal with no complications? I drop cannon balls on my left foot until every bone is broken 26 x 15k = 390k It takes a couple of weeks for the bone to start fusing then I drop the balls again. 400k every couple of weeks means I can net about 8 million a year. If they didn't heal without complication it's a bit more troublesome.

This is more of a "one time deal" not "infinite money hack" The bones will heal 1 time perfectly, no risk of complications in this hypothetical. ---It's about asking how much pain would you take for money, if you knew you'd be okay at the end of it?

Oh I see well I'll assume morphine is off the table. I'm still going with the whole foot if possible in one blast. If it gets like 15+ I'm okay with it. I'm not going to assume I'm tough enough to take a second round.

You can say "every bone" and they all break in just the right place and same time. No need to do it yourself lol Magic of the question

Oh sweet I don’t have to go through the mental anguish of breaking it myself? They just break? That makes it way easier

That changes things tremendously!

Normal time for me personally, or for someone without complications? Probably would break a bunch of bones in my left hand/ arm, and a rib or two. That would be least disruptive and they would heal all at once.

Break every single bone in my feet. That nets a sweet 780,000, and with boots, braces, and crutches, I can still maintain at least limited mobility while I convalesce, which means I could, if I wanted, keep working my current job on light duty. That would, without a shadow of a doubt, set me up for life. Absolutely worth the pain and recovery time.

Break all the bones in 1 of my feet's and the shin... give me my money

206

I mean. Body cast for a few months, but you'll get lots of money lol

Can I break every bone in my body without dying? What would be the recovery time on that? Will I heal stronger than before? I'll use my newfound strength and money to become the ultimate fighting machine.

1. Yes you can. And in this hypothetical, they all heal without problems. 2. Recovery time for each bone is what you would expect for the normal healing. So couple weeks to couple months. 3. Only in the same way your body already does- a micro level. That particular fracture will never happen again. That does not preclude you from other breaks in the future.

I've broken both wrists, 4 ribs, multiple fingers, toes, and collar bone. I'd be willing to do collar bone, ulna, and 3 ribs, a finger, and a toe.

Each of my teeth are a bone. I'll have my dentist replace em all and then break each one of them when they are out of my mouth. $480k? Yes please!

Tbf dude, I’ve had a few extractions done in my time, and to get *every* tooth pulled? That would really suck. Even if I could afford to replace them all after, the risk of complications and the healing time, and soreness that goes with it, nah. No thanks. Would I have a tooth or three (at most) pulled for 15k each? Maybe, but only if I can be put to sleep for it.

Have....have you ever had a fractured tooth?

He literally said he's breaking the teeth *after* removal.

Uh what? Teeth are not bones

I wanted to mock you for being silly…but good ol’ Google has your back. You’re right. My plan is mush…just like all I can eat after getting rid of my NOT bones in my mouth…and no money to pay for new ones.

Those teeth become the legal property of the Tooth Fairy as soon as they leave your mouth.

I could break both pinkies and be fine. That's $30k. Well, I wouldn't be fine, but you get it. Now, for the toes, I'd break them all. That's $150k for all 10 toes plus the 30k for 2 fingers. I could chill and recover forr 6-8 weeks with 180k in my account and no hospital bills to worry about.

Well you didn't say they had to be my bones. Point me towards the nearest kkk group and give me a metal baseball bat, we'll take care of some business

I've broken several bones. $15000 is not worth it.

Nope. None.

Fair enough lol

I’ll break the bones my left foot

A good plan. With just one foot, I'm sure you'll be **all right.**

U never stated these bones have to be mine. I will break many many many many bones.

Nah, I've had multiple broken bones in my lifetime and don't want any more. Maybe if it was more like a half million a bone I'd consider it, but 15k? Piss off.

Hey sis, fancy making $3,060,000 with me?

Obviously the correct answer here is to break smaller bones. There are several bones per finger, do I get $15k per bone? Or per finger?

pretty sure most US hospitals charge more than this to fix a broken bone

All but my hands, I’ll happily spend a couple weeks sedated, then playing videogames for the rest of my recovery.

Did you know half the human bones in your body are in your hands and feet? So yeah.... I'm breaking some feets.

None. I wouldn’t even do it for $150,000.

Must they be my own bones? If not, I take the deal!

I've already broken a few toes (one of them has been broken three times). I've broken my wrist, my knee cap, and a pinky finger. IMO, it's not worth the pain.

Damn it! Be more careful, please.

The sad part of this hypothetical id i thought "damn i could totally pay of my studen loans if i break a few bones."

Can I get back paid? Ive broken over 45 bones over my lifetime

Okay, nowhere in this did OP specify they had to be MY bones.

All of them. Bonus: pain is weakness leaving the body.

can i just get the money for the 2 currently broken?? otherwise none cause i DO NOT want to through this again :’(

If I jump off the roof of a ten story building, can you send my wife the check?

Denizen of r/neverbrokeabone here. I’ll go home broke, thanks. These bones don’t break.

You did not say they have to be human bones, nor mine, nor alive! Hello chicken wings 😂 loop hole! How much money you got.

My right shoulder and my toes save for the big ones to fix them to lie straight. So... 135k. Not bad. I had a muscle injury / tear in my shoulder and it hasn't been the same since. If I break it and let the muscles reset, there's a chance for it to be settled and I'll roll the dice for 15k.

Anything in the left leg. Might actually be able to convince a doc to cut the painful foot off after that.

Zero

None. That shit hurts. 

Pinky toes please! That'll be all.

186

Right now? Two. Maybe more in the future, we'll see

Important clarification: does it have to be MY bones?

I live in the US, I would break even if I went for treatment.

None.

Zero.

Fuck yeah, let’s go! I’ve got plenty of bones to break for $15k *each*, and with no hospital expenses and guaranteed to heal properly with no long-term effects. I am retiring, effective *immediately*. I’ve had at least 8 broken/chipped/cracked bones already, and I didn’t even get paid for those! Only question is: who wants to hit me with a car?

All of them? Except maybe my neck and spine, like that’s 200 ish bones, multiply that by 15k, that’s 3 million, 3 million, not needing to be spent on hospital care, I don’t think it would be that much of a problem

Do you get paid right away?

Yes. Bones broken right away too

.. if I make an army of wooden soldiers and break their "bones" does that count?

r/neverbrokeabone has entered the chat.

I’ve had a broken toe before, and I think it’s worth $15000. That’s probably as far as I would go though. $15000 would come in handy right now but I don’t need the rest enough for it to be worth it.

My family loves fried chicken and barbecue ribs so I think we could have a few days worth of each and be very nicely compensated. Edit - Looks like local chicken place does 15 piece buckets and ribs are up to 13 for pork so 2 buckets and 2 racks this week. Hm that’s 840,000 please.

Break every bone in both of my feet. Sit back and enjoy a few weeks in a magically paid for hospital with my new 780 grand. Might offer up my hands for another 810 grand.

I fell out of a tree and landed on my feet but broke every toe. Was bad but survivable. So ten.

I would break each of my fingers and bones 2x each for a total of 40 bones which would net me $600,000. Hell, since only the fingers lose function after 2 times, I might be willing to break each of my toes at least three more times afterwards. for another $450,000.

Does it count for past broken bones? Because then I should get $105,000

My husband with a shitty shoulder wants to know if he breaks the fucked up scapula will it heal back normal or still fucked up?

Someone get me Kaneki Ken.