You'd be earning over a billion a day after a little over a month, and be worth more than a billion before that when you consider that you just keep getting more money. Just use wet wipes.
Bidets. Wet wipes. A handful of fuckin leaves. Paper towels. Fuck I’ve used all of them before. This is easy
Edit:
I just looked at a chart for some smaller base 10s (I think that’s what they’re called). Who tf knows.
At the end of the year, it’s apparently 10^107
One quintillion is 10^18 if that helps push you closer to understanding how much money this is.
One quintillion is a thousand thousand thousand billion or some shit. You could buy Bill Gates’ hand and wipe with it and no one would blink. On some kinky shit. And that’s not even close to 107. I wanted to use a calculator to find the answer with all the zeroes shown, it’s just saying 1e107 so I don’t get the magnitude since I very obviously don’t do much math anymore.
With that much money, you could use the finest towels man can make and treat them as disposable. Who gives a fuck about toilet paper. Hell, you could use paper towel and have a plumber on hand at all times to fix the clog in the toilet
When I get poison oak it's a full-body allergic reaction, like borderline anaphylaxis. Last time I had it, the rash spread to my booty hole as well. I barely ate because that would mean having to poop eventually and toilet paper felt like sand paper :(
It doesn't say you lose your money either. Bidet attachments are like $50 for pretty decent ones, and with the payouts you're getting, you can take the immediate loss as long as you don't start destitute.
My dad just got a $600 toilet seat with a bidet heated seat and water the thing is godly and it dries you after. I just have a $30 amazon 1 but i want theres
If you get it in pennies or any kind of paper currency, you will destroy all life on earth, destabilize the solar system, and the earth will become a black hole.
If it's added to your bank account, you may crash the financial system because I don't think they're equipped to deal with 10^107 USD.
I cannot imagine the scale of destruction if it was physical pennies. Given that it’s dozens of orders of magnitude more than all atoms in the universe, and pennies have many, atoms, the quantity and concentration of matter released into the section of the universe would have hyper-relativistic effects that we can’t even begin to fathom. I wouldn’t be surprised if it caused the Big Crunch or resulted in False Vacuum Decay, if either of those things can even happen. The scale of the black hole would distort space time on an unprecedented scale. I’m not sure what would remain of the universe. It’s hard to even quantify the sheer horrors of this many pennies.
If it’s just digital then I imagine banks would just be like “we’re not inflating worldwide currencies, we’ll just give you a credit card that can buy anything with no limits”
The mass of all ordinary matter (not dark matter) in the observable universe is about 10\^53 kg, per Wikipedia.
Even if we use digital currency, and somehow represent each dollar as a single electron, the mass of all those electrons would be 9.1 x 10\^76 kg.
Just representing the currency digitally would create a black hole that swallows up the universe.
edit: if the calculator I used is correct, a black hole with the mass of 9.1 x 10\^76kg would have a schwarzchild radius 1.5 x 10\^23 times the diameter of the observable universe.
You could pay every human a trillion dollars and it wouldn't even put a tiny dent in your money. You'd have $375.766 DECILLION dollars. That's a 36 figure number.
You would be able to buy the entire world.
And it would be a fraction, of a fraction, of a fraction, of a fraction, of a rounding error, of a fraction, of a fraction, of a fraction of a rounding error of the first 1% of your wealth. It would be impossible to tell that you’d actually spent anything.
No at that point you compel the governments of the world to rewrite the plumbing codes in such a manner that disposable wipes are no longer an issue, then retrofit every toilet in the world to the new standard. That will cost you a few nanoseconds worth of interest on the amount of money you have.
My kids use them because they don’t get how TP works. We keep a separate covered trash can for them. Same way TP works in some places. They know not to flush them.
from my experience with the cheap bidet i installed myself (im an idiot you can do it too) you only really need one or two by the end, trash can or even flushing such a small amount really not a big deal at all.
Yes. Again, wealthy enough to not care.
1) they fine you. There is not a fine big enough for you to care. If it gets to be too big of a fine you could literally buy the city's sewage system and tell them to fuck off.
2) there is absolutely no way that one individual can need enough wiping to clog an entire sewage system for a city.
I'm guessing the city won't care if you pay them a trillion dollars. They can retrofit the pipes and sewage of every city in the world so that flushable wipes are fine everywhere you go and you wouldn't notice the cost.
You'd be getting paid 5.3 million a day by the end of one month. But doubling that amount, and then doubling that amount, etc., for another 335 days would mean you'd have... I can't do the math, but it would basically be more money than all the money in the world. And at that point, money would probably be worthless, and you'd have a shitty bum.
if my excel formula is correct, after the 365th day you'll have received a total of
$751,533,626,487,627,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.00
Just buy all the stocks of all the companies along the way. Buy the national debts of all the nations and put a lein on them. You now own the world and everything in it.
Inflation is irrelevant at that point.
Go back a thousand years and ask a peasant. Would you rather have endless supply of this 'toilet paper' to wipe your butt, no really it's quite nice, or literally become richer than every person on the planet combined.
I'll have Ryan's whole family, and everyone that's ever said his name out loud reassigned to that purpose only. Should be well within my budget by about day.. 40? Definitely by day 60 at the worst. When you own the entire planet, Goslings are everywhere you want them to be.
By the 365^(th) day, those pennies add up to $375,766,813,243,813,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.00. That translates to **three hundred seventy-five quattuortrigintillion** seven hundred sixty-six trestrigintillion eight hundred thirteen duotrigintillion two hundred forty-three untrigintillion eight hundred thirteen trigintillion dollars.
So yeah, a bidet and a towel to dry will work just fine.
Actually :) that's how much you will make on the final day. At the end of the year you would actually have made: $751,533,626,487,627,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.00
A literal, physical penny? Then no. I would not accept. Those who let greed blind them would doom the world. In a year you would crumble the global economy. In 2 years, humanity would be fighting for survival, drowning in a sea of pennies. Most species of plants and animals would be destroyed. In less than 5 years, all life on earth would be destroyed.
In a year the earth would become a black hole, you'd be receiving more pennies than several orders of magnitude of all the atoms in the universe, every day
It escalates *a lot faster* than you're expecting, and *far faster* than even that guy is estimating.
You'd be a billionaire some time between weeks 4-5. By day 60, you'd make a total mockery of global GDP. Sometime between month 6 and 9, the earth would collapse into a black hole.
By the end of the year, the black hole would have a radius 10\^52 times the size of the observable universe.
Day 1 = 1¢
Day 2 = 2¢ + Day 1
...
Day 365 = 2^364 ¢ + Day 364
2^364 = (2^10)^36 * 2^4 = 1024^36 * 16 ~= 3.75 * 10^109
2^364 ¢ ~= 3.75 * 10^109 ¢
Convert to dollars, $3.75 * 10^107
10^107 = 10^17 * (10^18)^5
That is, $100 quadrillion quintillion quintillion quintillion quintillion quintillion. Earned on one day.
===
There are about 10^82 atoms in the observable universe.
The US national debt is $34.73 trillion.
The global population is around 8.1 billion.
If every person on the planet owed the US national debt to every atom in the observable universe, you could pay the $34.73 trillion US debt for all 8.1 billion people to every one of the 10^82 atoms... for 13,000 universes' worth of debt.
And still be filthy fucking rich.
Which is to say, you could wipe your ass with brand new mega yachts, throw them away after a single use, and still never come close to being as "poor" as anyone in the world today.
People suggesting bidets as full replacement for toilet paper have never used a bidet.
It soaks your ass in water, if any of you have ass hair which should be most of you, then it gets soaked as well, and if you stand up without drying off with toilet paper the ass water drips everywhere. Down your legs onto your heels, all over the toilet seat, you get the idea.
I use a bidet at home. This is easy.. I'll just use a washcloth to dry myself off. I can carry a portable bidet (bottle with a nozzle) for public restrooms and carry a waterproof bag for my washcloths. 😊 there are people out there that already do this.
Edit: a word
Take a trip to Japan -- Bidet functions are just the tip of the iceberg -- with that kind of money, one of the (currently available) units that includes a blow-dry is trivial... and you've got the money to spend to have a WAY more sophisticated one custom assembled for you.
You've got the money reconstitute the firm of Thomas Crapper Ltd, hiring the best toilet and bidet designers from around the world (if they have a noncompete, buy their employer) to custom design something specific to your butt. For that matter you can afford to buy Disney and put their animatronics team on making a working facsimile of the toilets in the Lexx.
Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I think that comes out to $5,368,709.12 after just a month. That's plenty to use wipes/paper towels instead of toilet paper for a year.
Yeah, I misread this and did 2^29 also. 2^364 is 1x10^309 or so pennies, so at least
1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 is about only 30 zeros, didn't feel like adding another 270
This is a fundamental misunderstanding of exponential growth, I'm afraid.
On day 53 alone, you receive nearly double the US annual GDP.
On day 55, an amount that exceeds the world's annual GDP.
By day 60, you've broken quadrillions of dollars and assuming by magic that currency even means anything anymore, you functionally own the planet.
Past day 60 it doesn't even matter how much money you have, you already own everything imaginable. More money doesn't do anything at that point. By the end of the year you have the problem of your wealth being in excess of the atoms of 10\^20 universes, but that's not even a useful factoid anymore.
I'm sure I could last 60 days without even cleaning my ass at all. Who needs a bidet. I can survive 2 months living like a savage in order to be the owner of all human existence. At that point, I wouldn't even have to pay someone to clean my ass for me, because I could have the pope himself lick me clean and be happy to do so without being able to spend enough to even affect 5 significant digits of my wealth.
I haven't used toilet paper since 2019. I use a bidet. In the rare cases I travel I have a portable bidet. Challenge accepted and completed 4 times over.
Hahahahahahaha
Tricked you!
Double your DAY 1 payout. Never said it doubles everyday.
Here's your two pennies a day, loser!
Sorry. I had to. It's Reddit.
That may have been what was intended, but the way it’s phrased is ambiguous. “You get paid one penny, then double your payout each day for one year.” Double could modify only the words “your payout,” which would result in your interpretation. It could also modify “your payout each day,” which would mean a doubling the previous day’s payout each day.
Since OP is the drafter of the “contract,” is is construed against him. Therefore, the contract requires the payment to double every day.
Source: work in the legal system and closely with lawyers.
Wipes and a bidet. Bidets are better anyway. With the money I'll just get the highest end japanese toilet that does everything save put your pants back on
You use wet wipes or towels temporarily, after half a month you build the ultimate exotic shit shower exclusively for cleaning off after number 2 and you're golden and set for the next 100 generations of your family after the year is up
I suppose I would do what I do now and just use wipes. Just long enough for me to become a billionaire and then stop, just so I don't destroy the world's economy.
This is a no brainer. Those pennies add up to three hundred seventy-five quattuortrigintillion seven hundred sixty-six trestrigintillion eight hundred thirteen duotrigintillion two hundred forty-three untrigintillion eight hundred thirteen trigintillion dollars.
From now on I’m wiping my arse on silk sheets.
I'm pretty sure the amount of money you'd have, if in cash, would be more than the available atoms in the universe.
That sounds to me like it's the push I'd need to get a bidet. I'm on board.
After a month I have ten million. The initial outlay for a bidet and a hair dryer or something to dry off is nothing in comparison. After a year I have 7.51533626E107 pounds. I don't even know what the heck that number is. But I'm pretty sure it's enough to have a team of supermodels ritually clean the old poop chute with gold flecked water blessed by the head of every major religion on earth.
You'd be earning over a billion a day after a little over a month, and be worth more than a billion before that when you consider that you just keep getting more money. Just use wet wipes.
You'd have 10^107 dollars on the final day. Everybody else's money would be like a single atom while yours is every other atom in the universe lol.
The current estimate of atoms in the known universe is 10\^80, you'd have the atoms of an entire multiverse.
10^20 universes, actually
Depending on rounding, probably more than a mole of universes.
A mole is a unit, or have you heard, containing 6 x 10 to the 23rd.
[удалено]
Because then it wouldn't fit the music. I heard this back in high school a couple decades ago. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qg0Lajwew3A
The global economy would be begging you to wipe your ass. A presidential address would be aired "Mr. NynaeveAlMeowra, wipe down that ass!"
Does your name mean you'd be tugging on your tail instead of your braid?
Yeah, poor situation from OP, very few people would turn down going 1 year without toilet paper for a million much less infinite money
You can’t use toilet paper EVER, it’s one year of earning. But yeah, don’t think OP quite got the exponential growth thing
Bidets. Wet wipes. A handful of fuckin leaves. Paper towels. Fuck I’ve used all of them before. This is easy Edit: I just looked at a chart for some smaller base 10s (I think that’s what they’re called). Who tf knows. At the end of the year, it’s apparently 10^107 One quintillion is 10^18 if that helps push you closer to understanding how much money this is. One quintillion is a thousand thousand thousand billion or some shit. You could buy Bill Gates’ hand and wipe with it and no one would blink. On some kinky shit. And that’s not even close to 107. I wanted to use a calculator to find the answer with all the zeroes shown, it’s just saying 1e107 so I don’t get the magnitude since I very obviously don’t do much math anymore.
I already use a bidet. No change except for money in my life. Just means I'm rich enough to install bidets whenever I travel
With that much money, you could use the finest towels man can make and treat them as disposable. Who gives a fuck about toilet paper. Hell, you could use paper towel and have a plumber on hand at all times to fix the clog in the toilet
You could pay a person to lick your crack. You have all the money in the universe.
Some people would pay to do that to you.
With that much money, Brad Pitt could personally wash my asshole every time. The choice is meaningless.
I'd have Mila Kunis do it since she doesn't wash her own.
With that amount of money you can put a bidet in every bathroom on the planet. You could pay people to let you do this.
You could find people to pay to gently lick your asshole clean with that amount of money.
You can fund research to alter the human body to not need to wipe ever again.
You could pay people to conduct research on how to wipe your asshole with $100 bills
You could install bidets in every toilet on the planet, public or private.
Ate 2 bowls of chili and went on a hike through the forest with my friends and had to drop a dunker halfway through, leaves were the MVP that day
Let’s just hope urushiol wasn’t a lubricant that day.
When I get poison oak it's a full-body allergic reaction, like borderline anaphylaxis. Last time I had it, the rash spread to my booty hole as well. I barely ate because that would mean having to poop eventually and toilet paper felt like sand paper :(
Thanks for sharing. You're a hall of famer in my books.
Got a love a shower with a hand held sprayer
I'd use single-ply paper towels instead. The stipulations never said that wasn't allowed.
*YOU* can’t use toilet paper. But with that much money, you could literally just hire an assistant to wipe your ass for you.
For that amount of money, well, you could literally wipe your ass with it
Yeah, but like, functionally money is a *terrible* absorbent. You’d get less “wiping” and more “smearing shit around.”
With that amount you could convince a government to make money that is absorbent as you please.
I would hate to see how canadas plasticy money would feel on my asshole
Probably like that one time I tried to use baking paper.
Yeah but I'd rather not have someone else take care of that.
That’s because you are poor. Once you are rich your perspective changes
Those poor people without piles of hundred dollar bills the size of planets don't understand the difference between us and them. We shit, they wipe.
This particular pile of hundred dollar bills would be larger than any planet. In fact it would be more massive than the entire universe.
Hire someone to lick your butthole out. Or you know…a bidet.
Why would I hire them to lick my bidet out?
I'll sport a poopy butt for a couple months
Time to get that bidet installed. At least I can afford a plumber now!
Within 30 days you can be paying someone to wipe your ass.
Pretty sure you reach the point you could pay to use someone to wipe your ass by then.
Who needs toilet paper when you can have your assistant wipe your ass with hundred dollar bills?
I meant more like using your assistant to wipe your ass. But, really any notion of fully absurd nails it.
No one in the comments has heard of a bidet before?
Isn't he the president?
By day 50 you're up to 10Billion. Yes. I can start tomorrow.
Yes, I can start 55 days ago. Don't worry about the details, we can leave that for the wealthiest man alive to figure out, which is me, right now!
At that rate, one could stop collecting money after 35 days and be all set for life. And bidets could easily be accommodated after just 15 to 20 days.
It doesn't say you lose your money either. Bidet attachments are like $50 for pretty decent ones, and with the payouts you're getting, you can take the immediate loss as long as you don't start destitute.
My dad just got a $600 toilet seat with a bidet heated seat and water the thing is godly and it dries you after. I just have a $30 amazon 1 but i want theres
Did he invite the entire town to coffee and bran muffins?
Yeah, and that’s assuming you don’t just buy a bidet on day 1 with your own cash.
And for those first 20 days, just shower after every time you poop
If you get it in pennies or any kind of paper currency, you will destroy all life on earth, destabilize the solar system, and the earth will become a black hole. If it's added to your bank account, you may crash the financial system because I don't think they're equipped to deal with 10^107 USD.
If anything, this undersells the problem, since we are talking about a pile of cash that makes the entire universe trivially small in comparison.
It’s more dollars than atoms in the observable universe by a wide margin.
You can pay the whole US national debt for each person to every atom in 13,000 universes.
Damn!!!
“By a wide margin” really undersells it. More than the number of atoms in a trillion trillion trillion universes still undersells it
roughly a mole of universes
How about if you get it in the form of 7 10e107 bills?
"Can anyone here break a 10e107?"
I cannot imagine the scale of destruction if it was physical pennies. Given that it’s dozens of orders of magnitude more than all atoms in the universe, and pennies have many, atoms, the quantity and concentration of matter released into the section of the universe would have hyper-relativistic effects that we can’t even begin to fathom. I wouldn’t be surprised if it caused the Big Crunch or resulted in False Vacuum Decay, if either of those things can even happen. The scale of the black hole would distort space time on an unprecedented scale. I’m not sure what would remain of the universe. It’s hard to even quantify the sheer horrors of this many pennies. If it’s just digital then I imagine banks would just be like “we’re not inflating worldwide currencies, we’ll just give you a credit card that can buy anything with no limits”
The mass of all ordinary matter (not dark matter) in the observable universe is about 10\^53 kg, per Wikipedia. Even if we use digital currency, and somehow represent each dollar as a single electron, the mass of all those electrons would be 9.1 x 10\^76 kg. Just representing the currency digitally would create a black hole that swallows up the universe. edit: if the calculator I used is correct, a black hole with the mass of 9.1 x 10\^76kg would have a schwarzchild radius 1.5 x 10\^23 times the diameter of the observable universe.
Flushable wipes and a bidet can get the job done. In a pinch some paper towels will work as well.
The sound of a million plumbers cringing at "flushable" wipes.
At that point you can simply own an entire plumbing company and have plumbers on call.
At that point you can pretty much own the world. You could buy Elon Musk and wipe your arse on him.
You could pay every human a trillion dollars and it wouldn't even put a tiny dent in your money. You'd have $375.766 DECILLION dollars. That's a 36 figure number.
Man, that's enough money to buy a really dope TV.
I bet my computer can finally play Crisis on max settings.
“I got the new Sony 796 inch plasma screen bro
Shit on fifth avenue and wipe with a handful of hundred dollar bills lol
You would be able to buy the entire world. And it would be a fraction, of a fraction, of a fraction, of a fraction, of a rounding error, of a fraction, of a fraction, of a fraction of a rounding error of the first 1% of your wealth. It would be impossible to tell that you’d actually spent anything.
Just buy a new house every time you take a shit
No at that point you compel the governments of the world to rewrite the plumbing codes in such a manner that disposable wipes are no longer an issue, then retrofit every toilet in the world to the new standard. That will cost you a few nanoseconds worth of interest on the amount of money you have.
Pay to have the entire sewer line from your house to the treatment plant upgraded to handle the wipes, including the plant itself. You can afford it.
Just get a diaper genie for the wipes
My exact thoughts. Bidet + Wetwipes, and I'll be unstoppable.
I already do this. Screw toilet paper. Where's my money?
My kids use them because they don’t get how TP works. We keep a separate covered trash can for them. Same way TP works in some places. They know not to flush them.
from my experience with the cheap bidet i installed myself (im an idiot you can do it too) you only really need one or two by the end, trash can or even flushing such a small amount really not a big deal at all.
Bidet, not flushable wipes. Unless you throw them in the garbage. Flushable wipes are not flushable.
They are if you are wealthy enough to not care.
No, because it isn't your plumbing that it fucks up. It fucks up the whole sewage system for the city and the waste treatment.
Yes. Again, wealthy enough to not care. 1) they fine you. There is not a fine big enough for you to care. If it gets to be too big of a fine you could literally buy the city's sewage system and tell them to fuck off. 2) there is absolutely no way that one individual can need enough wiping to clog an entire sewage system for a city.
I'm guessing the city won't care if you pay them a trillion dollars. They can retrofit the pipes and sewage of every city in the world so that flushable wipes are fine everywhere you go and you wouldn't notice the cost.
Flushable wipes are a myth. If you want to clog your pipes and such, keep using them. Ask any plumber.
At 2^n scaling wealth, what do I care about a plumber's issues with my pipes?
$2^107 doesnt exist either. With the money that is being made you could replace your nations water system every time you used the bathroom.
You'd be getting paid 5.3 million a day by the end of one month. But doubling that amount, and then doubling that amount, etc., for another 335 days would mean you'd have... I can't do the math, but it would basically be more money than all the money in the world. And at that point, money would probably be worthless, and you'd have a shitty bum.
More money than atoms in the universe.
More money than atoms in 10^(27) = 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 universes
if my excel formula is correct, after the 365th day you'll have received a total of $751,533,626,487,627,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.00
Just buy all the stocks of all the companies along the way. Buy the national debts of all the nations and put a lein on them. You now own the world and everything in it. Inflation is irrelevant at that point.
I don’t think it is possible to have that many pennies in the universe.
More pennies than there are atoms - seems like a problem.
Found the atom.
Gonna be so rich I'm gonna be wiping with Benjamins.
By the end of the year you could use $100 billon, trillion dollar bills and still be making unimaginable wealth
This hahahaha
Go back a thousand years and ask a peasant. Would you rather have endless supply of this 'toilet paper' to wipe your butt, no really it's quite nice, or literally become richer than every person on the planet combined.
Ikr? First world problems. Just like the posts "Can you go a whole month without your phone or internet for TEN MILLION?"
I would use cash instead.
No problem, I'll use rabbits.
The classics say goslings are the best
I'll have Ryan's whole family, and everyone that's ever said his name out loud reassigned to that purpose only. Should be well within my budget by about day.. 40? Definitely by day 60 at the worst. When you own the entire planet, Goslings are everywhere you want them to be.
By the 365^(th) day, those pennies add up to $375,766,813,243,813,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.00. That translates to **three hundred seventy-five quattuortrigintillion** seven hundred sixty-six trestrigintillion eight hundred thirteen duotrigintillion two hundred forty-three untrigintillion eight hundred thirteen trigintillion dollars. So yeah, a bidet and a towel to dry will work just fine.
Actually :) that's how much you will make on the final day. At the end of the year you would actually have made: $751,533,626,487,627,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.00
A literal, physical penny? Then no. I would not accept. Those who let greed blind them would doom the world. In a year you would crumble the global economy. In 2 years, humanity would be fighting for survival, drowning in a sea of pennies. Most species of plants and animals would be destroyed. In less than 5 years, all life on earth would be destroyed.
In a year the earth would become a black hole, you'd be receiving more pennies than several orders of magnitude of all the atoms in the universe, every day
One must either find and destroy the source of the pennies or take one's own life to save the universe.
That escalated quickly, but you're correct. I said penny, not $0.01 direct deposit ;)
It escalates *a lot faster* than you're expecting, and *far faster* than even that guy is estimating. You'd be a billionaire some time between weeks 4-5. By day 60, you'd make a total mockery of global GDP. Sometime between month 6 and 9, the earth would collapse into a black hole. By the end of the year, the black hole would have a radius 10\^52 times the size of the observable universe.
I use a bidet anyway
Taking "filthy rich" a bit too literally
Hmmmm. Upwards of Three hundred and seventy-five quattuortrigintillion dollars to switch to using a bidet. Tough one.
All the money in the world for switching to a bidet, hmmm, rough decision...
Nothing says I can't clean myself, so either install a bidet, or use the shower to wash myself, easy money.
Day 1 = 1¢ Day 2 = 2¢ + Day 1 ... Day 365 = 2^364 ¢ + Day 364 2^364 = (2^10)^36 * 2^4 = 1024^36 * 16 ~= 3.75 * 10^109 2^364 ¢ ~= 3.75 * 10^109 ¢ Convert to dollars, $3.75 * 10^107 10^107 = 10^17 * (10^18)^5 That is, $100 quadrillion quintillion quintillion quintillion quintillion quintillion. Earned on one day. === There are about 10^82 atoms in the observable universe. The US national debt is $34.73 trillion. The global population is around 8.1 billion. If every person on the planet owed the US national debt to every atom in the observable universe, you could pay the $34.73 trillion US debt for all 8.1 billion people to every one of the 10^82 atoms... for 13,000 universes' worth of debt. And still be filthy fucking rich. Which is to say, you could wipe your ass with brand new mega yachts, throw them away after a single use, and still never come close to being as "poor" as anyone in the world today.
I have a bidet. It's so on.
People suggesting bidets as full replacement for toilet paper have never used a bidet. It soaks your ass in water, if any of you have ass hair which should be most of you, then it gets soaked as well, and if you stand up without drying off with toilet paper the ass water drips everywhere. Down your legs onto your heels, all over the toilet seat, you get the idea.
For that much money I'll wax my ass, no problem
I use a bidet at home. This is easy.. I'll just use a washcloth to dry myself off. I can carry a portable bidet (bottle with a nozzle) for public restrooms and carry a waterproof bag for my washcloths. 😊 there are people out there that already do this. Edit: a word
I'd pay every single person in the world $100 trillion dollars each every second I poop to look the other way.
Take a trip to Japan -- Bidet functions are just the tip of the iceberg -- with that kind of money, one of the (currently available) units that includes a blow-dry is trivial... and you've got the money to spend to have a WAY more sophisticated one custom assembled for you.
You've got the money reconstitute the firm of Thomas Crapper Ltd, hiring the best toilet and bidet designers from around the world (if they have a noncompete, buy their employer) to custom design something specific to your butt. For that matter you can afford to buy Disney and put their animatronics team on making a working facsimile of the toilets in the Lexx.
I'd have a collection of outlandishly expensive ass towels.
This would crash the global economy.
Lmao ok ez, I use a bidet anyway
For that kind of money, who cares?
Guess I need a lot of socks
You’ll have enough money for someone to kick your butthole clean.
With that much money you could buy off the government and make toilet paper illegal Bidets everywhere
Pass.
Bidets and similar contraptions
Switching to a bidet is a small price to pay for a billion dollars.
What do you do with the other.. *\*checks notes\**... infinity dollars?
With that much money, you can have someone invent a working version of "The Three Seashells".
Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I think that comes out to $5,368,709.12 after just a month. That's plenty to use wipes/paper towels instead of toilet paper for a year.
Yeah, I misread this and did 2^29 also. 2^364 is 1x10^309 or so pennies, so at least 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 is about only 30 zeros, didn't feel like adding another 270
By the end of the year, the black hole would have a radius 10\^52 times the size of the observable universe.
I already use wipes and don't use public bathrooms. Easy.
For the first 2 weeks, use a bidet. After that, if I really need to wipe still, i'll just wipe my ass with $100s.
This is a fundamental misunderstanding of exponential growth, I'm afraid. On day 53 alone, you receive nearly double the US annual GDP. On day 55, an amount that exceeds the world's annual GDP. By day 60, you've broken quadrillions of dollars and assuming by magic that currency even means anything anymore, you functionally own the planet. Past day 60 it doesn't even matter how much money you have, you already own everything imaginable. More money doesn't do anything at that point. By the end of the year you have the problem of your wealth being in excess of the atoms of 10\^20 universes, but that's not even a useful factoid anymore. I'm sure I could last 60 days without even cleaning my ass at all. Who needs a bidet. I can survive 2 months living like a savage in order to be the owner of all human existence. At that point, I wouldn't even have to pay someone to clean my ass for me, because I could have the pope himself lick me clean and be happy to do so without being able to spend enough to even affect 5 significant digits of my wealth.
Bidets are cheap, sign me up!
Biget?
I haven't used toilet paper since 2019. I use a bidet. In the rare cases I travel I have a portable bidet. Challenge accepted and completed 4 times over.
I have a bidet and 3 seas shells. I'm fine.
Has OP ever heard of a bidet? Jesus Christ, The people who write these things must be Medically retarded.
I think I'll be good by around 40-50 days cause thats always a crazy amount of money, and I can just take a shower right after my shit
Hahahahahahaha Tricked you! Double your DAY 1 payout. Never said it doubles everyday. Here's your two pennies a day, loser! Sorry. I had to. It's Reddit.
That may have been what was intended, but the way it’s phrased is ambiguous. “You get paid one penny, then double your payout each day for one year.” Double could modify only the words “your payout,” which would result in your interpretation. It could also modify “your payout each day,” which would mean a doubling the previous day’s payout each day. Since OP is the drafter of the “contract,” is is construed against him. Therefore, the contract requires the payment to double every day. Source: work in the legal system and closely with lawyers.
Wipes and a bidet. Bidets are better anyway. With the money I'll just get the highest end japanese toilet that does everything save put your pants back on
ok.
You use wet wipes or towels temporarily, after half a month you build the ultimate exotic shit shower exclusively for cleaning off after number 2 and you're golden and set for the next 100 generations of your family after the year is up
Literally a googol of money, there is nothing I wouldn't do
Wet wipes. Checkmate.
Bidet
Gimme dat money, and 3 seashells.
Bidet and a wash cloth, carry wipes with me when traveling.
Deal as long as the money stops getting doubled after 1 month 10 days.
I suppose I would do what I do now and just use wipes. Just long enough for me to become a billionaire and then stop, just so I don't destroy the world's economy.
Bidets are amazing.
Absolutely- bidet
A bidet... Ez fix
Paper towels.
Bidets are better than TP anyway. Gimme the money. 😂
It wouldn't take long and you could wipe your ass with hundred dollar bills!
Bring on the bidet, with WARM water! Lol
Umm at that rate you’d have more dollars than atoms in the universe…
Bidet time mf
My bidet says ball out son
Bidet and silk towels. I'm good.
I can use a bidet and dollar bills. Then give the used singles away for free. Poo or not, people will take them.
Easy. I grew up using water unlike the rest of you heathens.
This is a no brainer. Those pennies add up to three hundred seventy-five quattuortrigintillion seven hundred sixty-six trestrigintillion eight hundred thirteen duotrigintillion two hundred forty-three untrigintillion eight hundred thirteen trigintillion dollars. From now on I’m wiping my arse on silk sheets.
Buy a bidet
Bidet, bitches!
You own all the money in the universe after one year.
Lots of loopholes here. Lemme get that.
I'm pretty sure the amount of money you'd have, if in cash, would be more than the available atoms in the universe. That sounds to me like it's the push I'd need to get a bidet. I'm on board.
There problem solved. I’d give it a go https://www.lttstore.com/products/swipe-bidet-1
I'd have enough money to have a vehicle with my mobile bidet follow me around everywhere. Done.
Ok, yay baby wipes - I'm going to be wealthy in a few years ya know.
Bidet and a towel to pat my ass dry. I can always just jump into the shower if it’s an emergency for a quick clean up
Kleenex
By the end of the year, you would have $10\^107. I’d take that deal.
After a month I have ten million. The initial outlay for a bidet and a hair dryer or something to dry off is nothing in comparison. After a year I have 7.51533626E107 pounds. I don't even know what the heck that number is. But I'm pretty sure it's enough to have a team of supermodels ritually clean the old poop chute with gold flecked water blessed by the head of every major religion on earth.
Easy I used to shit in bucket or the woods at my old job.
So buy a bidet and pack wet wipes to be a billionaire?
Richest man with infinite wealth but cursed to use a bidet.
Bro, I'd just hire people to be my toilet paper.